Book Jacket

 

rank 1909
word count 34644
date submitted 22.08.2011
date updated 13.01.2012
genres: Fiction, Romance, Science Fiction, ...
classification: universal
incomplete

Barriers of Light and Shadow

Kimberly Andrews

I hear the screams... smell the blood... feel the terror... but the memory's gone. Yet I feel it reaching for me... wanting me to remember.

 

Avery, whose first conscious thoughts are born in the dark in the middle of nowhere, struggles to find a place to fit into the world. Everything she touches seems to turn into a failure. She escapes the stress of this life by drifting in her imagination and building worlds that couldn't possibly exist with creatures both kind and sinister and places that defy all laws of physics. When a tenant of her made up world steps into the real one she has little time to react before she is ripped from this world and plunged into a place full of danger and mystery.
Learning to trust her guide she begins to unravel the mystery of her past and discovers that she has a bigger role to play than she could have imagined. How far would you go to protect the ones you love? To resolve a debt from a broken past? To save the world from complete destruction?

 
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tags

adventure, chaos, faery, fairy, halcyon, magic, mystery, other world, shape shifting, tail, tale, warrior, wonderland

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4 comments

 

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Elvis McPherson wrote 631 days ago

Nice snappy short pitch. I'd maybe put a little more in the long pitch, but what's there is good. There's some lovely descriptive writing (the opening paragraphs of chapter 3 is a good example), and good dialogue throughout. It's an engaging story so far, and it'll be interesting to see how it develops. There's a bit of a formatting issue with chapter 1 - it looks like it's all in bold - so you might want to upload it again. Best of luck with it. E McP

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Tidalmonkey wrote 396 days ago

This is an atmospheric read with plenty of original touches to recommend it. Other than to suggest maybe write in first person present as your POV, to give immediacy and tension, I have little useful to add :)



Thank you so much for your comment! I really appreciate any feedback I can get. I've not been able to work on this in a while but hopefully I can revisit it soon and I will try it out in first person!

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Jim Darcy wrote 397 days ago

This is an atmospheric read with plenty of original touches to recommend it. Other than to suggest maybe write in first person present as your POV, to give immediacy and tension, I have little useful to add :)

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Elvis McPherson wrote 631 days ago

Nice snappy short pitch. I'd maybe put a little more in the long pitch, but what's there is good. There's some lovely descriptive writing (the opening paragraphs of chapter 3 is a good example), and good dialogue throughout. It's an engaging story so far, and it'll be interesting to see how it develops. There's a bit of a formatting issue with chapter 1 - it looks like it's all in bold - so you might want to upload it again. Best of luck with it. E McP

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Juliusb wrote 634 days ago

Dear Kimberly,

"Darkness bears my first memories. Memories, which are clearer than any ever given to a child, ..." - reading in the pitch of your toned up what a number of authonomists have commented about my "Destined to Triumph". Check below what one of them has written:

Orlando Furioso wrote 104 days ago [send message] [reply]

Ch 29 (actual 28)

This is very moving because of the sense of injustice to which you return, it being the main theme of your story.

-- Poverty is a national problem, which has bread many others.

-- You put your finger on one aspect of the issue, 'universities and industry are more or less mutually exclusive.' So, too, you put your finger on the leadership issue.

-- You have also shown remarkable energy and persistence in your personal letter writing campaigns to try to open eyes. You have clear vision and strong belief. Your own setbacks, experiences and hopes have helped to form you, but they are not here in this last chapter because you are not thinking about yourself, but about others. You want to make a difference to others and your voice is strong. But, but, but... The professors, those wise, lucky, successful men, do not seem that gifted in the listening department. Is it that they are comfortable? that the ideas are not their own? that they lack the courage to rock the boat, to change things? that they might just be lazy? that they have forgotten what it is to be young? to have to struggle? [END]

Bravo.

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