SEE-SAW

If you ever felt that someone affected your future/destiny with a word, good or bad, then you owe it to yourself to read this book. People in position don't always realise the power of their words, or how it can impress/influence young fragile minds. If you teach in any area whatsoever then read this book before your next lesson/lecture.

‘SEE-SAW’ IS A MUST READ FOR PARENTS AND WOULD-BE PARENTS, TEACHERS AND ASPIRING TEACHERS AND PRACTICALLY EVERYONE ELSE WHO WISH TO UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF FAIRNESS, TRUST, EMPOWERMENT AND FREEDOM OF CHOICE IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD.
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Dear Dave,

Growing up is indeed a lot of fun. But it can also be difficult, the years riddled with too many insecurities, uncertainties and expectations. You have captured every little emotion and every aspect of those nascent years with impeccable accuracy. Your work has great appeal for everyone, irrespective of their age. It can evoke very strong emotions in anyone who reads it.
Well done.

‘I admired her and yet at the same time felt that I could never be as strong as she was...’ These are your words. How true. I still remember how I felt when I watched my dad when he was alive, able and strong, going about discharging his duties with efficiency and panache. Years later, I realise how that feeling and those memories had shaped my life.

‘SEE-SAW’ is a masterfully written piece that should be read by one and all. I am giving it 6 stars and placing it on the ‘wall of fame’ on my profile page. Being very different from the stuff that’s usually found on this site, it deserves permanence and therefore should not be restricted to the bookshelf, whose contents keep changing for various reasons.

Best regards,
AGC

A great read with lots of humour but also a powerful message. Highly recommended

Some proof reading needed in terms of typos and punctuation/layout etc.

HOWEVER!!!!! THIS IS A BOOK THAT BOTH MANAGES TO INFORM AND TO ENTERTAIN - a rare find!


READ IT AND BACK IT !!!!!!!!

Having read the remainder of this book, I came to one conclusion......WOW!! Reading it from a teacher's point of view I can relate to the author's meaning and can easily understand the points being raised and discussed, having similiar views myself! It is good to hear these points/issues being voiced, but even better to see them being written about.
It is clear that a lot of hard work and effort has been put into this book and from my point of view it has paid off! An easy read, but with lots of areas that make you reflect about your own experiences in life, both personally and professionally!
Well done! :)

Dave, When you come back onto the site.....This is some of the strongest heart felt writing I have seen for a long time and some that other readers may agree with me. There is so much emotion here it jumps of the page at you and holds you like one of the biggest hooks I have seen in a book. Growing up in a family with Nil love in it was a pretty heart breaking experience that has effected all my brothers and sisters big time. Optimistic I remain and it wont be happening to my son. Thanks for letting me read this book.. I have learned so much from it. I rate this very highly indeed.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks Sean

This is a very endearing powerful work. Your writing style made me feel that you were talking to me on a one-to-one basis which is quite a skill. The early years of a child's life are very underestimated when it comes to importance. Those first years shape the adult that we become. I work in mental health and the traumas behind some children's short lives are simply heart wrenching and give them the problems that materialise as adults. The only criticism of your work I would make is that you don't need to put things like 'more of this later' It interrupts the flow a little and doesn't have to be stated as it will happen naturally within the book. Well done and I wish you all the best with See-Saw.

Kim (Pain)

Thank you - a generous comment from a superb actor - your portrayal of "Alton Towers" is still talked about today Jamie

Good book by a great teacher! Taught me the most throughout my time at Lynworth. Many happy lesson memories including old Tom and a child called it. JD

My first read on Authonomy - what a book! If they're all like this I am in heaven!
needs a little edit but a fascinating funny tale with such a poerful message
Six stars from me!

Hi Iman
Thanks for your support and really helpful comments, I will edit/redraft as required.
Good luck with Miss Manners
Dave
PS An hour a day of purposeful practice would be approx one thousand hours every 3 years so it would take you 30 years to get in the required work to become good at something. having read your writing I think you've already done your time! :-)

~See-Saw by Dave Hill~

SEE-SAW is the reason why I love Authonomy so much! It’s a real gem! It really took me back to my own childhood and I loved your characterisations (esp. Reggie and Louis). I love your wry writing style- it reminds me of Louis de Bernieères in Notwithstanding (one of my favourite books!). A thoroughly enjoyable read that had me in stitches!

6 stars and highly recommended!

Iman xxx

Miss Manners: http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Here are just a few suggestions:

I love sentences like ‘...and certainly no fiddling with my tackle!’ Hilarious!

~GRAMMAR & PUNCTUATION~

- In my mind[s] eye[,] I had the image...

- ‘Look!’ Kevin exclaimed[.]

- My rod end was twitching quite violently[.] I grabbed the rod, reeled, [then] landed the eel.

- Fishing suddenly became a focus to me[.]

- Make sure to hyphenate words like ‘brick[-]built,’ Benny Hill[-]esque

- (I again apologise, [it’s] a habit of mine). Perhaps put this sentence in brackets?

- Apparently practice is a noun (i.e. a doctor’s practice) and practise is a verb (i.e. practise the piano).

~NUMBERS~

- According to my creative handbook, any you should only spell out a number if/for: a) any number that begins a sentence b) centuries c) ages d) numbers used in dialogue. Use figures for a) exact number of three or more digits: 365 (but three hundred) b) weights and measures c) exact sum of money (but five thousand pounds) d) sets or lists of numbers e.g. the guerrilla had 10 rifles e) percentages: 50 per cent (not 50%)

~CHARACTERISATION~

- Perhaps you can tell us a few more stand-out facts, ‘witticisms and exploits’ about Grandfather Reggie? I’d love to hear about them. i.e 'Ow bist ol’ butt' and his nickname for Mum is Toots, which I loved.

'DESCRIPTION~

-Loved '...paint a pair of eyes onto my reading glasses.'

-Love the words ‘dace and gudeon.’ They're now my words-of-the-day!

- Based on Matthew Syed's theory that it takes '10 years or 10,000 hrs of focused, purposeful practise to truly become good at something,' I've just worked out that if I practise something for 1 hr per day for 365 days, it would take me 27.397260 years to be good at it!!! That’s my entire life x2!!! Just thought I'd share that :-)

I have read your book from cover to cover and found it a very candid and entertaining read. It is an easy read and I think the new title is very apt. It is a good as any published book sitting on bookshelves. I think it could possibly be a bit of a 'marmite' book - either a reader would love it or hate it depending on their view point.

I think all the political parties would benefit from reading your 'rant' about their Ofsted report - they need to know how a grass root teacher actually feels.

Well done.

If you ever felt that someone affected your future/destiny with a word, good or bad, then you owe it to yourself to read this book. People in position don't always realise the power of their words, or how it can impress/influence young fragile minds. If you teach in any area whatsoever then read this book before your next lesson/lecture.

Just re read this - needs a bit of correcting etc - but still an entertaining and insightful read.
PUBLISH IT NOW!

An entertaining look at modern life in schools - it would be something I could easily gobble up - in an easy style of reading. Starred, well done.

AS A TEACHER I FOUND IT ENGAGING, ENGROSSING AND INFORMATIVE.

A MUST READ FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO LIVE AND WORK WITH CHILDREN

Have just read through for second time - and have to say I loved this book.
It has an individual style with the bold type commenting from an adult perspective upon the events/follies/feelings of your younger life. This journey matures and builds towards a final section that has power and teeth! I wish that some of my teachers had read this book - I may have gained more from school if they had!
A GREAT READ FULL OF HUMOUR EMPATHY AND COMMON SENSE.

This book has been an interesting, thought provoking and entertaining read.
I enjoyed growing up with the author and hearing his adult take on events from childhood.
I teach and it has made me think about the impact of even the most apparently insignificant comments - as I can now see the impact of the words to a young person.
I also laughed along with the anecdotes and stories though I could also understand the serious point beneath.
The book needs a read from cover to cover to enable the reader to fully understand its point and message.

Needs a minor edit to pick up on some grammatical errors - but reads beautifully nonetheless.

Hi Andrew,
Thank you for your dvice and comments - they given me some food for thought.
Later in the book the current addiuction with celebrity lifestyles is touched on and addressed to a point.
i think Iwill look at Chapters - at the moment the book is split into 4 distinct sections - it may be better to give each relevant are a chapter heading etc.
Thank you for taking the time to bother with the book - I only recently finished the first draft and popped it on Authonomy warts and all - your helpful comments will enable me to polish it into a more suitable story.
Merry Christmas
Dave Hill

Hi Dave,

I read through a few of your beginning chapters and most applaud you for writing a book that tackles an issue of sort of coming-to-age and how to live life in a serious and humorous way. I feel that your wisdom of what you have to offer is certainly true, and should be things we all as not necessarily writers but people should take to heart. The hard thing with this narrative you present is that we're not celebrities, and I think that's something you should acknowledge in the first chapter. These days readers seem so focused on the lives of others, admiring their adversities and life lessons, yet I think you show that even ordinary people who don't have the dilemma of deciding whether to buy the Lambo or Bugatti can be amazing in the smallest details. My suggestion is to continue writing this, and if not work on making this more of a memoir as "This Boy's Life" by Tobias Wolf. Certainly things in his memoir may be stretched, but his points as you seek to are conveyed. Another different form would be Hyok Kang's "This is Paradise!" which is about his life in North Korea and smoothly describes this totalitarian lifestyle with great ease.
I know these are not concrete suggestions but now I do have some, and they will certainly make your biography much more potent.
Potential Recommendations
1.) Concentrating on anecdotes with less bold statements that necessarily summarize for its becomes didactic. It does occasionally provide humor reading your adult reflections on past experiences not as a child, but that can be easily integrated through focusing on your life stories which I feel can be told to much greater length. So focus on the anecdote with a chapter and its devoted theme, so the readers can get attached and come out knowing what you planned on conveying.
2.) The first chapter can be turned into possibly a prologue. I feel the first chapter seems to explain your intentions of writing the book, which makes it more of an introduction.
3.) The chapters have themes, stick to it and focus on a compelling anecdote.
4.) My final suggestion like all of them based on my preference of reading, is that the chapters should be your life as it is. I feel these two frames of perspectives smoothly transitioning back and forth, but I personally like reading a story with a constant progression. This is where non-fiction does come to its limit, but creating one cohesive story from child to adult would be equally engaging if not more to readers.

I haven't read the entire manuscript, so these suggestions certainly carry less weight. I do suggest adding a stronger hook after the introduction, or some key problem or moment that expands onto your experiences. Satire would also be handy in these cases.

Overall, I really do admire your work and wouldn't mind putting it on my shelf in support of your endeavor.

Thanks for reading,
Andrew Flowers
"The Lemon Lawyer"

Chapter 1 ... First couple of paras are off-putting to the American reader because of unusual phraseology and terms. OFSTED ... ????? "Going on a course" ... a golf course??? "Year 6" ... is that like sixth grade or six-year-olds? (might be better to use the kids' age ..."had been using materials designed for six-year-olds ...")
Later figured out "Going on a course" is the same as what American schools call "having a teachers' In-Service day". But OFSTED must be some sort of government inspection program. With that I would suggest you insert the name first and then add the initials in parentheses afterward for follow-up use: "Office of Fire Safety and Teacher Education (OFSTED)"

And then, you reveal your intent to promote "effort based praise [rather than] outcome based praise" ... and I know I am not going to be a fair judge of your work because in my experience, effort based praise becomes the lazy man's way of not giving accurate feedback concerning a child's work. What I mean by that is this: You say you want feedback from someone who knows their way around the publishing business. What if I just wrote back and told you, "Great effort! I can tell you worked really hard on this chapter and I'm proud of what you've accomplished." ... would that help you get your book published? Of course not! But that is the basic form for effort based praise. You want more of the things like what I did at the beginning of this post ... comments that reveal problems so those problems can be fixed. THAT is outcome based praise and that is what anyone needs to succeed in the real world.

Joyce ~ Slave to Grace

Once upon a time I might have agreed with you, however, my stance would now be that due to the delicate nature of children's levels of confidence and self esteem that care must be taken to give praise which recognises their efforts and thus builds their confidence. Once this self confidence is in place it is then that you can become more analytical about performance and begin to coach children. If this purely outcome based is introcduced too early then we risk damaging children both who currently achieve and those that currently do not. This is explored in some more depth in later chapters and really needs a full read to get the message over.
I, as a mature and confident person, am able to accept criticism, both positive and negative, as a help - a child of 6 or 7 will not yet be emotionally strong enough to cope in these circumstances.
Thank you for your comments regarding the required explanations etc to make the introduction more accessible to the US reader - I will sort that soon.
Merry Christmas
Dave Hill

Chapter 1 ... First couple of paras are off-putting to the American reader because of unusual phraseology and terms. OFSTED ... ????? "Going on a course" ... a golf course??? "Year 6" ... is that like sixth grade or six-year-olds? (might be better to use the kids' age ..."had been using materials designed for six-year-olds ...")
Later figured out "Going on a course" is the same as what American schools call "having a teachers' In-Service day". But OFSTED must be some sort of government inspection program. With that I would suggest you insert the name first and then add the initials in parentheses afterward for follow-up use: "Office of Fire Safety and Teacher Education (OFSTED)"

And then, you reveal your intent to promote "effort based praise [rather than] outcome based praise" ... and I know I am not going to be a fair judge of your work because in my experience, effort based praise becomes the lazy man's way of not giving accurate feedback concerning a child's work. What I mean by that is this: You say you want feedback from someone who knows their way around the publishing business. What if I just wrote back and told you, "Great effort! I can tell you worked really hard on this chapter and I'm proud of what you've accomplished." ... would that help you get your book published? Of course not! But that is the basic form for effort based praise. You want more of the things like what I did at the beginning of this post ... comments that reveal problems so those problems can be fixed. THAT is outcome based praise and that is what anyone needs to succeed in the real world.

Joyce ~ Slave to Grace

Thanks Claire - I'll look at that and see how I can pull it around.

Thanks Lulie
I'll take a close read through and adapt as required.

An interesting take on your schooldays. One thing I would say it that it might be better to let the message you put forward in the first chapter by having them in bold - obviously that is the main message of the book - I think it would be better to weave those in gradually, let the events and stories speak for themselves to avoid a "preachy" feel. Hope this does well for you.

Hi. Have just dipped into this. It strikes me as an unusual book and I shall try and read more. My first impression is that you might want to give the punctuation some attention as it may distract readers from the content, which is unfortunate.
Do take a look at 'Jelly-Boy', that is if you can bear the idea of a hungry teenager gutting, cooking and eating a seagull!

Thank you Kate - Merry Christmas
Dave

Merry Christmas Dave Hill,
Any news of a publisher yet? Space on bookshelf hopefully awaits.

An unusual book, Dave, but very good reading nevertheless. I like the lessons it teaches, withut it being discouring or negative. As you point out, it is always so easy to simply tell a child what it wants to hear rather than what it should hear. It doesn't preach, rather gives good reasons for how things are. Interesting, it makes me want to read more. Well done. Backed and on w/l.

Kate Grimes, LIZZIE -CUPPA TALES -TALES OF WILLOW GREEN -ANNIE.

Some proof reading needed in terms of typos and punctuation/layout etc.

HOWEVER!!!!! THIS IS A BOOK THAT BOTH MANAGES TO INFORM AND TO ENTERTAIN - a rare find!


READ IT AND BACK IT !!!!!!!!

Some proof reading needed regarding typos and punctuation etc.
HOWEVER!!!!

Some proof reading needed regarding typos and punctuation etc.
HOWEVER!!!!

Some proof reading needed regarding typos and punctuation etc.
HOWEVER!!!!

Enjoyed the first few chapters - will leave more detail when completed - looks good so far

Definately a book for anyone wishing for an insight into teaching, the highs and the lows! I really enjoyed reading it, with many laughs along the way!!

Definately a book for anyone wishing for an insight into teaching, the highs and the lows! I really enjoyed reading it, with many laughs along the way!!

This is a compelling read with an interesting, easy format (six stars). It gives the feeling of growing up alongside you Dave, sharing the same experiences and mistakes, learning the same lessons, obtaining the same values; how inspiring to witness your unbelievable maturity as you finally achieve your career, firstly as an excellent class teacher and secondly your current leadership within a visionary new school. This is a valued work and should be not just be a compulsory read for student teachers, but should also be included as part of the curriculum to enable older children to learn from your early attitude to education. Thank you for allowing me to share your powerful message, I eagerly await a signed copy - PUBLISHERS, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? "See-Saw" needs to be placed not on my laptop, but permanently on my bookshelf in my home.
Good luck Dave.

Well, I started your book, and got a little confused to begin with. It should be explained a little better for those outside the loop. Not sure what kind of inspection that is, or what it is for, and how long you've been preparing for it--because it seems to have stressed you out. Also, what is the "course?" I kept reading, thinking they might have meant a round on the golf course, but knew it wasn't that as I read on.

Sincerely,

D. S. Hale

Dave,

Hello. Here is my return read as promised. I like where you are going with this and it is a good idea for a book. I have to admit though that the lay out was a little jarring for me. I read through the comments and second what Fran said. I think you would benefit from focusing on one major memory from your childhood and the lesson learned from that in one chapter. This first chapter seemed a little too long(i.e. too many memories and lessons...it could have been several smaller chapters in my opinion) and I found my mind wandering at times. Also, I would consider taking out what inspired you to write the book. It's a little tedious and just slowed the read. I found myself skimming and looking for the heart of the chapter(when you start your childhood memories). I'm giving you five stars for an innovative idea and I look forward to seeing where this is going to go once you begin your edits! Good luck!

Ashley

Meant to askif you are intending to publish in book format or just as e- book?

Hi I guess I would consider both/either - just depends on how hard I can work to get someone to consider it for publication
Thanks

Meant to askif you are intending to publish in book format or just as e- book?

Have been waiting for the final section and have not been disappointed! This has really made me aware of what message I give to my pupils. Thank you Dave.

Can't believe that Fran (see previous comments) would feel qualified to comment on this wonderful book after reading only one chapter!

Just finished it!
I am going to read it again to really soak up the powerful message.

Just finished it!
I am going to read it again to really soak up the powerful message.

I enjoyed the contrast between the softly presented message in the first three parts and the harder hitting edge to your fourth section.
A thought provoking read

A great read with lots of humour but also a powerful message. Highly recommended

Having read the remainder of this book, I came to one conclusion......WOW!! Reading it from a teacher's point of view I can relate to the author's meaning and can easily understand the points being raised and discussed, having similiar views myself! It is good to hear these points/issues being voiced, but even better to see them being written about.
It is clear that a lot of hard work and effort has been put into this book and from my point of view it has paid off! An easy read, but with lots of areas that make you reflect about your own experiences in life, both personally and professionally!
Well done! :)

READ THIS NOW IF YOU WANT TO HELP ALL CHILDREN THRIVE

Dear Fran
many thanks for your review - I am going to give the book a thorough read through and edit as required, I only finished it on Sunday night and feel that I need to step back from it for a while and then approach it with fresher eyes.
In terms of message/instruction etc - I can see why you may have felt that it was saying "toughen up and grow up" in the chapter that you read, however, if you have a look at later chapters you will see it is really much subtler than that and identifies many factors that can inhibit or enhance our development.
It deliberately isn't presented as an academic textbook as I have spoken purely from my own point of view and my take on things. Its main purpose is to pose questions for the reader to consider rather than give a "scientific" answer. Due to each person's unique set of personal circumstances - I don't believe learning to be a scientific process that can be replicated exactly for each child - but more of a humanitarian art that takes full account of the situations that we have experienced or are currently encountering.
I would love for you to read a little more, especially on my time in education as this would hopefully show the true message.
Many thanks
Dave

I have read the best part of chapter one, and I have to confess to being rather confused by the structure of your writing.

As your book is intended to enlighten and teach, you have rightly narrated instances from your childhood and youth, and then reflected on what these incidents taught you. Still, your reflections might work better if they were part of a tighter programme of instruction, as it were, rather than what read like pleas to toughen up and grow up. There are times, heartbreaking times, when no amount of effort will achieve what we want to achieve.

If yours is an instructional book, you might focus more on the programme or learning you wish to impart, and use that as your starting point. Then consider what apposite events in your life could support your hypotheses. Perhaps that is what you think you have done, but at the moment, it feels heavy. A thorough edit would work wonders.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

As a teacher, I was immediately drawn in by your short pitch. Once I started reading, I found your story interesting and unique. Your approach is different than any I've seen, and while the organization could be improved, I found it refreshing to be dropped into the story immediately. Too many true-life stories tend to meander without ever an interesting moment. Yours avoids that pitfall by providing numerous well-written anecdotes.

Another strength is the value of the content. Your experiences are incredibly valuable and make important reading for just about any adult.

I have two main suggestions. First, I'd consider the organization. While it may just be the formatting on authonomy, I found your organization a bit off-putting and overwhelming. If I were to pick this up, I wouldn't be sure exactly how I was supposed to read it. Should I read it section by section like I would an ordinary book, or can I jump from section to section without losing anything? Or do either work? This might also come down to my lack of experience with this type of book.

My other suggestion is to focus on polishing this. Some of the grammar and punctuation is questionable, and at times, the narrative doesn't flow as smoothly as it could. With more polish, this will be an even better sell. One technique that helps me when I edit is reading my work aloud. It helps me catch awkward phrasings, run-ons, misused words, etc.

All-in-all, this was an interesting, well-written book that has the potential to change lives. I could definitely see this being published.

I love the switches between the bold and normal writings, they make the important thougts stand out and grab the reader's attention. Just be you, no matter what others say, if you changed your content to please others then the book would have lost its purpose. Some people learn the hard way, some learn from others' experience, hope your book would help others to become a better person without so much of struggle and confusion. Best of Luck!

Dave

As requested I have taken a look at your book (well the first chapter anyway) and have a few brief comments:

1) It would be really good if you could get a decent cover..Bradley Wind does great ones for free (you can find him in the forums - do a search

2) The short and long pitches both work for me although you might want to explain who Matthew Syed is. Having said that I am not sure how relevant he is - this book is about YOU not him!

3) The first chapter reads well to me. I am the kind of writer and reader that enjoys stream of consciousness diversions but not every body does. You have a humorous and engaging style (I loved the gag about the Libran star sign for example) but at the same time you obviously have something important to share. Quality of English, grammar and punctuation seemed fine also (although I wasn't focusing too much on that).

4) At over 80,000 words the book is probably quite a bit longer than average for the genre. You might struggle to hold the attention of the reader for that long, especially if they don't know you. If you were looking to publish I would consider doing some pruning to try and get it down to 60,000 or so. I have just done that to my book and quite painlessly got rid of 15-20% simply by finding more succint ways of saying the same thing.

Speaking of which, feel free to check out my book and comment in return.. 5 stars from me for your book

MP Jones (They Shoot Birds Don't They?)