Book Jacket

 

rank 5633
word count 43869
date submitted 30.09.2011
date updated 24.10.2011
genres: Fiction, Christian, Religious
classification: universal
incomplete

Time of Jacob's Trouble

Don R. Budd

What will life be like during the Tribulation? This story is about judgments that people will face. How will you survive without Christ?

 

This is a look at the judgments and the Tribulation Period. How will the government explain away the Rapture and the missing millions? The main character, Kevin, seeks the truth. The world is devistated by global earthquakes. People must depend upon the shelters The global drought makes food scarce.

Kevin and others who never took the mark of the beast are sent away from the shelters. This leads Kevin and the others on the road north. They meet a christian group on their way to Canada. Kevin and most of the others are given the Gospel. They accept Christ and join the band of Christians

As the group heads north, the various judgments of Revelation occur. They also learn of the deal with the blocked roads, accidents and government road blocks. As they near the Canadian border, their vehicles run out of gas. They must walk the last 10 miles. However, wolves and bears attack the group. They lose 18 on the way.

 
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tags

, antichrist, budd, commercial babylon, don, false prophet, gospel, judgment, tribulation

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Time of Jacob's Trouble

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don R. Budd

100 Minges Creek Place, F-111

Battle Creek, MI  49015

Call Relay first at 711 then give them (269) 979-8516

BuddWriter@live.com


 

Don R. Budd                                         53,319 Words

100 Minges Creek Place, F-111                            World Rights

Battle Creek, MI 49015

Call Relay at 711 give TDD #(269) 979-8516

BuddWriter@live.com

 

 

 

A muscular man walks across a living room to his chair dressed only in gray gym shorts. There is a stack of Muscle/Fitness magazines on the table next to the chair where he stops. The remote is on top of them. He picks up the remote. Then he turns toward the large screen, plasma television. There are shelves next to the television with bodybuilding trophies. He turns on the television. An older man in a blue blazer appears on the screen. The background is a series of smaller screens with images from around the world.

"For those of you just joining us, reports of multiple vehicle accidents have been flooding our station since just before sunrise," says the Newscaster on television. "The police report the drivers of many of these vehicles are not in their vehicles. Just their clothes remain. Air Traffic Controllers from around the world also report pilots disappeared. Many of the planes have already crashed. We're awaiting word from the White House. Please, stay tuned.

Scenes from around Los Angeles shows accidents on the freeways and LAX airport.

"We're receiving reports over the A.P. and Reuters lines that these accidents are happening worldwide all at the same time," continues the Newscaster.Just a moment, please. We're switching to Washington. The President is about to speak. Here is President Frank Brown.

On the television, the image changes to the President, a young, African-American man, at his desk in the oval office. The President has a very dignified appearance.

"Fellow citizens, at 6:20 a.m. eastern standard time, an unknown alien race abducted our people," claims President Brown on the television. "How they did it is at present unknown. However, they seem to have the ability to take our people without their clothes. I know this is a horrific incident, but stay calm. I have been in contact with foreign governments to plan a response. This will take time, so stay calm.

The man turns off the television and walks to the kitchen.

Soon the man sits at the table as he eats. The telephone rings and he goes to the telephone by the kitchen.

"Hello?" asks the man.

There's a pause "Oh, hello, Steve. What’s up?"

There's another pause. 

"Yes, I was watching it on the TV," says the man without emotion. "I turned it off when Brown was on. I can’t stand to listen to him talk. He’s so arrogant. I can’t stand that. People even claim he's the messiah. The French President challenged him to walk across the English Channel.

There's another pause.

"I can’t believe he would blame this on aliens," continues the man.

There's another pause.

"Right, who would believe in aliens?" asks the man.

There's a pause.

"How can you accept such a story?" asks the man with shock. "I thought you were rational," says the man.

 There's a pause. 

"I am rational! Everyone knows there are no aliens," yells the man into the phone.

The man looks at his watch.

"Steve, sorry to have to cut you off, but I have to run. Bye."

He hangs up and returns to his breakfast. He quickly finishes his meal as he carries it to the kitchen. He returns to the bedroom. Soon he returns dressed in gym shorts and a tank top. He carries his wallet and keys.

The phone rings again, the man sighs heavily. He goes to the phone by the kitchen. He picks it up as it rings again.

"Hello?" says the man.

There is a pause.

"Steve, I told you I have to run," says the man. "What's so urgent?"

There is another pause.

"Steve, listen, I have to go to work," says the man in a frustration tone. "I'm late at it is. Good-bye."

The man hangs up and goes out the front door of his apartment.

He goes to the bus stop and waits for the morning bus; however, many others are also waiting. People begin to mumble about the lateness of the bus. Some decide to walk to another bus stop; the man eventually follows their lead. The next stop has the same problem; no one seems to have seen a bus go by for any of the routes.

Instead there are accidents all over the streets. There seems no way for a bus to get through; the man decides to walk to work. He hurries down the sidewalk. The further he goes, the more accidents he finds. Some of the cars are on the sidewalks and he has to dodge them.

People are crying and screaming about the accidents. No one seems to know what to do about the accidents. The police are nowhere to be seen. The man turns the corner and heads up another street. He runs into people as they crowd the sidewalks. He quickly excuses himself and runs on.

He rushes down another street and comes to a gym. He rushes to it and opens the door.

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earthlover wrote 368 days ago

CCRG review:
I read the first chapter of this book, "Time of Jacob's Trouble." So far, the book is predictable, with many repeated words, but I'm sure as I read on, I will get to the "meat" of the story. You might want to go through each paragraph, reading it aloud, noticing repeated words and coming up with other options to make the story flow better.
The news anchor wouldn't start at the beginning of a sentence. Maybe it would make it more interesting if the man turns on the TV and hears something mid sentence, with a jumble of confusing pictures behind the speaker. This could catch his attention, then the newscaster could come in with the line, "If you're just joining us...."
In the end, it's your story, so take my suggestions with a grain of salt. I am in no way an editor, just a reader.
When there's a phone call, you don't really need to write, "there's a pause."
As the reader, I am wondering what kind of hold the president has over the people and when will anyone suggest that this incident might be the rapture. I am wondering what the MC thinks of the happenings on this day. I am also wondering what the MC's name is.
I will read on. Good luck with your story! Blessings!
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

DoninMich wrote 529 days ago

Audrey,

Thank you for taking the time to write such a document. I realize that There are problems. I will get to them as soon as I can. I have a similar document ;) for another story. I found that I have to post all the chapters at once or I get a mess. I will have to go through the whole story and post it as one unit rather than by chapters. But, I haven't forgotten your notes.

Thank you again,

Don R. Budd

AudreyB wrote 531 days ago

Hi, Don – this is your CCRGreview from AudreyB. I am often accompanied on my reviews by my English teacher alter-ego, The Grammar Hag. If I say anything you don’t like, it was probably her idea.

I chose this novel because I was most intrigued by the ideas expressed in your pitches. Revelations is such a mysterious book – great idea to explore it in a novel.

You write many short sentences that follow a similar “noun-verb-object’ format. There’s nothing wrong with them, but readers enjoy variety in sentence structure. Try linking related sentences together with a semicolon, or rewording two short sentences into one. This variety keeps the reader on his toes.

You describe some everyday things – the presence of Muscle magazine – in great detail, but when it comes to the accidents in the streets, we get one line. I encourage you to explore those accidents; share with us the sights and sounds of cars crashing together on the busy streets. What sounds are the drivers impact and punch to your story. While police are nowhere to be seen, I bet Mark can hear sirens in the background.

Both ch 1 and ch 2 begin with an image of Kevin in his shorts; you may want to mix that up a bit. Also, I haven’t seen a man in a gym in tight shorts since 1978. Most men work out in basketball shorts.

As characters are introduced, you use race to identify them. I’d encourage you to avoid this entirely, but if race plays a role later in the story or if you want to be clear that you are including people of all backgrounds, introduce their features with descriptive details. For example, when we read a person has freckles, we assume that person is likely Caucasian. Or if we read about a character with hair in very short dreadlocks, we think, “Hm – this person has pretty kinky hair; I wonder if he’s of African heritage?” Or if a young man has deep brown eyes, almost black hair, and his dialog is rendered in ‘spanglish,’ we know he’s latino.

When you say that he enters the gym confidently, you’re telling us he’s confident. The reader likes to decide your character is confident by reading that he walks in and goes straight to the employee desk, waving hello to the new kid at the check-in desk. Maybe someone in the lobby says, “How can you be so chipper today of all days?” That kind of thing.

You describe Sally very well; I can picture her copper hair flopping. But calling her ‘older’ is vague. Give us a bit more detail: she’s here working off the second chin she noticed on her 50th birthday. I’m not terrific at this element of writing myself, so I don’t have too many ideas for you.

It’s grossly unprofessional for Kevin to visit with Kate when he’s working with a client. If that’s the message you intend, then it’s very clear. If you just wanted us to hear the conversation, perhaps they could talk on the phone as Kevin travels to work? Or after he’s finished his duties with Sally? (Can you tell I’ve been a manager?)

I wonder if newscasters would announce that aliens have attacked. It seems to me—and this may be the result of movie watching because of course it hasn’t happened in real life—that newscasters would report on unusual accidents caused by whatever they see causing the accidents. They would tell us that a sort of flying platform has emerged from the clouds, or that several cities have reported unusual bursts of light. They would tell us what they see and hear, not what they think is causing the chaos. Does that make sense?

If you give us the news in that way, then your characters are free to speculate in any way they wish.

Why would aliens go for the President or celebrities? (Wait. I’d welcome them if they arrived to clear out certain celebrities. This idea has possibilities…) But seriously – wouldn’t they be more interested in natural resources? Or something even weirder?

Well, then your characters come to that very conclusion. Never mind.

You have Sally warming up in the middle of her workout. Is that common?

I do like Kevin’s skepticism.

You have created a very interesting beginning. Many wonderful movies and books begin with or feature an attack by alien creatures. But yours is headed on a much more interesting journey, from what you have offered in your pitches.

Best wishes, Don!

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

DoninMich wrote 546 days ago

If you skip to Chapter 19, you will come to the Gospel message in this story. Every story I write, I put the Gospel in it. That is a must for Christian writers. The site won't let me change or edit the file. It makes a new file which becomes confusing if you make changes.

Don Budd

Wow, that first chapter is very clinical; did you write this to be published in an encyclopedia? I could almost hear Ben Stein's voice in my head. That's all the further I got. Should that be farther?

DoninMich wrote 549 days ago

Thanks for reading my story. I wrote the story to be published. The story gets better later on. I also have the Gospel message later in the story. I don't know Ben Stein, so I don't know who you are comparing my story to.

Don R. Budd

Wow, that first chapter is very clinical; did you write this to be published in an encyclopedia? I could almost hear Ben Stein's voice in my head. That's all the further I got. Should that be farther?

jestersjibberish wrote 549 days ago

Wow, that first chapter is very clinical; did you write this to be published in an encyclopedia? I could almost hear Ben Stein's voice in my head. That's all the further I got. Should that be farther?

DoninMich wrote 580 days ago

Thank you for your comments. I will have to work on the he said, she said, problem. The reference to the man is only in the first chapter and then his name is introduced. I needed to set the story and then get "The man" into a situation where his name could be revealed. I'll work on it. Thanks again for your support.

Don R. Budd

Don,
This is a very interesting story. I often think of the tribulation period and worry about how it will unfold. I can imagine people saying something stupid like this president. I haven't heard of any other stories like this. I love the premise, your writing is good but I felt distant. He says and she says and says the man disconnects me as a reader. I struggled with this in my own personal writing. But reading someone else's work who has done this does make the conversation feel stifled. I did back because I like your premise and your writing skills. I would just work on using names Although, I know his name I don't feel like I can know a character frequently callled the man. I hope this helps. I did back and will come back later to see how this unfolds. Lisa

writerwithacause wrote 581 days ago

Don,
This is a very interesting story. I often think of the tribulation period and worry about how it will unfold. I can imagine people saying something stupid like this president. I haven't heard of any other stories like this. I love the premise, your writing is good but I felt distant. He says and she says and says the man disconnects me as a reader. I struggled with this in my own personal writing. But reading someone else's work who has done this does make the conversation feel stifled. I did back because I like your premise and your writing skills. I would just work on using names Although, I know his name I don't feel like I can know a character frequently callled the man. I hope this helps. I did back and will come back later to see how this unfolds. Lisa

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