Limbo Dancing

Hayley, I've really enjoyed reading the chapters you posted.

Loved the opening, especially the 'Run, Ned'.

'It's runny, mummy' - should be a capital M but made me laugh. Been there, done that, as they say.

You have done an excellent job of drawing Polly's family. Polly has a strong and feisty character, just as the pitch promised. Meg is a character you immediately feel sorry for but then the way she laughs and everyone joins in with the fake laughter shows a different side to her, when she goes on to think about her Granny Pearl that is a warm moment in the chapter. I liked your line where Granny Pearl tells Daniel that he has un-packed his soul. Harriet and Camilla are already characters I don't like.

You have managed to create a different feel and voice for the chapters which switch POV from Polly to Meg.

A good read, I hope you'll post more chapters and I will be backing this as soon as I get a space on my shelf.

I love this! This story is so full of life and poignant! The characters are believable and you outline their personalities so well without plain old telling us what they're like. Be careful with a bit of your slang though - some of it I didn't really get. Then again, I did find it quite amusing!

From the very first paragraph I picked up Polly's personality. It takes a lot of skill to be able to do that :)

This kind of story will do well with young adults. Look forward to reading more...

Welcome to my Bookshelf!

I love your Pearl as well! Pearl was actually the name of my Nanny (who passed away two years ago) so I named one of my MC’s as a little tribute to her. Yours is a bit more like what my actual Nanny was like.
There’s a question mark after baked her own bread (?) – that I’m not sure why is there.
You could cut out a few words, like this sentence – ‘When he had finished displaying the final piece, they had had a party’. This could just as easily read ‘After he displayed the final piece they had a party’. Cuts out two of the ‘had’ but still means the same thing.
‘Fizzy legged’ – loved it.
Adore this book. It obviously has serious tones but it's also incredibly funny in places. I'm always blown away by other writers imaginations and you have a particularly good one :-)
Will read more soon
Tammy

Thanks a lot for hindering my productivity this afternoon, Hayley. I had planned on writing after lunch but couldn't resist digging in to Limbo Dancing after catching your pitch perusing the first paragraph.

Let me just say this: Having read your first two chapters, I will no longer walk around stating such arrogant and closed-minded things as "I don't read chick-lit or young adult fiction."

This is simply excellent so far. Crisp, fresh, appropriately dark, and funny as hell.

I don't have room right now on my shelf, but you will soon land upon it.

However, I'm still mad at your for disrupting my schedule.

Best,

GL

I loved this book, the characters just jump off the page at you. It is funny and fresh and fearless. It is so poignant in places but I won't give the game away as the plot takes quite a few twists and turns and keeps you guessing. Would suit young adult audience and older readers, loved it!

I've read the first four chapters and am definitely enjoying them :)

This is very funny! I like chick-lit and books with a humorous streak, so it's nice to get the two together. I especially like Polly - spiky is the right word for her, I really like the voice you've created for. The part in the first chapter where she goes over what her day would have been like if she hadn't died was great, sad but with a resigned sort of tone to it, which fits in with your explanation about her not feeling much after she dies.

Meg is also a great character, I like her history and the flashbacks to her school days. When she first speaks I did think she sounded a lot like Polly, but that then filtered out and changed as I read on. It feels like you do have her voice down, but in that first instance when it switches from Polly's POV to Meg's, they feel more similar than at any other time.

I really enjoyed what I've read so far :) it could maybe do with some tidying for unnecessary words (something I'm guilty of!) but otherwise, it flows really well and I felt very immersed in the story and the characters.

KT

So many great lines and aspects. It being ‘apparently my fault” that her dad’s hair went grey in his twenties – I chuckled at that. And the capitalisation of lines such as ‘We Are Not Made of Money’, works to great effect. Reminds me a little of Georgia Nicholson in the Louise Rennison series, and that’s a compliment because I lurrrrve those books!
‘I tried to cutch down’ – I have no idea what ‘cutch’ means?
And then you get a bit serious, and it fits as well. The feeling she gets when she watches her mum is heartbreaking, especially the part with the knife.
Very intriguing hook at the end of chapter one. Highly starred :-)
Tammy Robinson

Not a chick-lit fan myself. But the writing really is refreshing and incredibly vivid. I can actually feel your creative energy when reading this. Great read.

Hayley,

Let''s start at the beginning. I checked you out 'cos you're a new auther with lots of space on your shelf for books like mine.
Then I checked your pitch and, even though it is chick lit and YA and stuff, I was quite interested in the story - not usually my thing!
I decided to have a read. What a good decision! Loved the first two para's, great way to introduce your story and snare the reader, lovely conversation between Polly and her mum, just to make sure the reader knows that this is fun stuff.

You are a joy to read. Wonderful use of words, abbreviations, slang, and other fings!

I spotted an error, hang on while I look back for it.....sorry that took so long, I should have made notes!

"Instead of being dead, I would watch mum would make dad a cup of 'proper' coffee." Seems to have one too many "would"'s

Also, I forget where I saw it, but noticed you used the word 'Cutch' Is that a slang term - I don't know it - could be getting old!

Anyway, your style is fabulous, and I'm no YA, and certainly no chick. Great fun. This will do well!!

Regards
Warrick

I've just read the first couple of chapters of this Hayley and I was just so drawn in. I love your writing style, it's very fluid and contemporary, it packs a real emotional punch.
Enjoy Authonomy! I'm new here over the last week too and people have been very welcoming.
I've backed your book, and am looking forward to reading more later on.

Millie
x

I have only been on here a week, but yes I'm glad I did it. I recommended your book just now in the thread, "Recommend a manuscript" I really liked it!

Thank you very much Georgia! This is all very new to me - I think I need to put a day aside to see what I'm supposed to be doing, seeing what books to put on my shelf, checking out the forums and stuff - it's amazing to have people other than my writing group read it. Have you found authonomy helpful?

WOW this is good! A couple of grammatical errors...that's all I see. I got wrapped up in the story immediately! Good luck to you! I have given you 6 stars and put your on my watchlist!

Georgia Peck
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38389/the-woman-from-e-a-r-l-/

WOW this is good! A couple of grammatical errors...that's all I see. I got wrapped up in the story immediately! Good luck to you! I have given you 6 stars and put your on my watchlist!

Georgia Peck
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38389/the-woman-from-e-a-r-l-/