CHAPTER 7
TAKE THE BEST
Looking back over the past many years and thinking on my loved ones, I can smile and feel love and gratitude for our times together, being in their lives, witnessing with them, giving advice and insights, which was not always taken, and the coming to peace in knowing that it was all ok when they chose their way and not my way.
Memories are treasured for what they are, I have left behind the feelings of did I do enough, as I now see that I did more than I possibly could in a lot of situations, there are no regrets. Experiences through Robert gave me more understanding, he gave me the opportunity to nurse him in the last five weeks of his life; there was a lot of talking and arranging, a lot of acceptance that he was leaving, he had accepted it before I had, to be present through the final days of his transitioning was a great insight, even though the grieving still had to be done.
Lou’s death was more difficult as he had chosen to end his own life, it’s a feeling of helplessness that was dealt with when he had attempted it a few weeks beforehand, it’s hard to understand how someone could be so desperate to leave the body. However it was his intent and I have had to learn to accept that, he taught me more depth of compassion for the pain and suffering of a soul in torment, he now has the peace he sought and so have I.
My son was young, so full of life, an unborn baby left without her Daddy, it was an all consuming experience and yet there were many joys given on a spiritual level. Over the years I have come to see that all in is divine order, that there are no accidents in life; that we all have a set time for birth and death, it matters not at what age it occurs.
Our journeys of loss can be given in many ways, the loss of a pet who has been a constant companion, maybe we ourselves become ill or bare some form of incapacity. Anything that we feel is a dramatic life change for us. We grieve our loss at some level for numerous reasons. The process is the same and taken at any depth we wish to go, to allow and accept is the first step to out healing for denial is resistance and whatever we resist will resist. My wish for you in whatever the journey you are on is that you may experience the greater insight and freedom that comes.