Three Men and a Husband

I really enjoyed reading these two chapters. What a great idea for a novel. Although I felt sorry for David because Anna's request must have really bruised his ego, I couldn't help myself from thinking go for it girl, you only live once! The angst she feels at potentially throwing away what appears to be the perfect life is very well portrayed. It's like Devil and Angel fighting within the same body. Well done. I can see this doing very well.

Kim (Pain)

A great holiday read. On my watch list and many stars awarded. Yours Bea

Hi Fran,

I was so cheered to get your (and Daisy's) comments today and yes - you're spot on! I've just finished a masters in writing and have been concentrating on the 'proper' book while this one has been the naughty one on the side... I'm not sure if either will see the light of day but I've certainly enjoyed writing them. I've just got lazing about promoting Three Men and a Husband but your message has given me a really helpful nudge. Many thanks!
Best wishes,
Miranda

Hi Daisy,
Thanks so much for your really kind and helpful comments!
Best wishes,
Miranda

Dear Miranda

Yours is good writing, without a single typo, smooth, easy to read and lively. I see no reason why this offering lies neglected and apparently unloved. Perhaps you are too busy, and if so, that is a shame. This is perfectly good and well able to compete with the chic lit already on the market - absolutely.

Maybe a little nudge from me will help to rekindle your ambition for this piece. It is well observed, true to life and funny. It is better than a great many things I have read, and worth promoting.

All the best to you.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Love the pitch – asking your husband if you can sleep with them. Fabulous idea. And I love the opening Para – I’ve been there! Love the imagery of the slug. I thought this was a lovely read. A couple of niggles I had were that on a couple of occasions I thought Anna was speaking, the first was where David says Mother near the start and the second where Susie asks if she’s serious – the last one because Anna’s ‘I nodded’ felt like a dialogue action tag. Other than that I breezed through the lot. It has some great lines – my fave the ‘eyeing every man up as potential fodder’ line.
Fabulous read.
Cx

Three Men and a Husband

Miranda, what a fantastic story teller you are! I ended up reading the lot, and wanting more. Wonderful Chick lit at its very best!

Chapter one
Poor Anna, what a dilemma she got herself into when she confessed to David that what she wanted most of all for her fortieth birthday were three one night stands.
I laughed when I read about David in bed with his blue and white striped pyjamas neatly done up, and I laughed even harder when I read his bedtime reading routine: usually biography, never fiction- Brilliant.

Chapter two
When David took Anna out to a posh French restaurant for her birthday surprise. Now this is where the plot thickens, David hands Anna her birthday present, pink tissue paper but surprise - wrapped inside was not what I expected.from him lingerie in black silk.
And then a letter giving her permission for the three one night stands, but with conditions on the back.
Now please hurry up and post more - I want to know those what those conditions are!

You paint a wonderful picture with words and I love the characters of David and Anna. This was so much fun to read. I look forward to seeing this in Waterstones on my travels. Good luck!

Kind regards Kat xx

I've only read the first chapter so far so my comment is based on first impressions.

The narrative and dialogue are well written, with the dialogue having a natural feel. I like the concept of the story, the idea of the woman driven to seek excitement by her routine life and I can see the dates may have the potential for fun and excitement.

My only concern with the MS, and please bear in mind that it is just my opinion, is the introduction of the concept that Anna wants to have one night stands. You introduce the idea with drama, she is asked such a simple question but then the reader learns the unusual request in her mind. From the first chapter we can see that she loves her husband and her children and that life has become too routine, something that is all to easy to happen in family life, she mentions they make love occasionally but whilst I assume she is frustrated by that it isn't emphasised, she just seems accepting of the situation. As such I never fully understood or connected with this (apparently sudden) idea about sleeping around. There is no build up, no thought process. When she discusses the idea with Susie, it's just accepted and applauded rather than questioned or explained. Anna thinks she wants other men and then dives in asking for her husband's permission and even though he has previously warned her that divorce and custody would follow adultery she doesn't anticipate how he will explode when she asks him. I was left wanting to know why she would risk her marriage and why she didn't think about the consequences until after she asked him?

I feel that there are so many elements to Anna's life that readers could sympathise with but not understanding her desire has the potential to distance her from your target audience.

There is no classification for women's fiction on Authonomy but I think this story falls more within it than chick lit.

So, overall I like the concept and you write well. I just want into Anna's mind more.

Three Men and a Husband was a breath of fresh air to read. Anna wanted to relive her youth and strangly I felt sorry for Anna. 365 days of the year she is a undervalued Wife, mother and brings a wage home. I liked the structure of the story and the element of a long-suffering wife with one birthday wish. This story could relate to many married women in their late thirties and forties. Its a great story and look foward to reading through the next few chapters. Let me know when you add a another couple of chapters and I will be happy to read them through.:)