Beauty School Drop Out

This is one for my shelf and let me know if you post anymore. Chick lit is not usualy my thing, but I love Donna's attitude and humour. Juliet

I loved the phone, keys, purse personification. I agree this is one to watch. Will be reading on.

You have really put a new twist on the old saying the morning after the night before! I like your sharp sense of humour. It's a very realistic story as well. I'm no expert but I would think that a massive percentage of people in this age group compensate for a boring job by just getting out there and getting totally wasted! It's kind of weird as well as one of my main characters is a Holistic Psychologist although my tale is a lot darker! Well done and six stars.

Kim (Pain)

Chapter 1 is hilarious! I loved the description of her mascara and the war paint! I laughed out loud when I read the wet-wipes! I thought the conversation between the phone, purse & keys was cute and clever! And the contacts, hahaha I loved it!
The only criticism I have are all the F-bombs, but that's just me, anyway good job so far!

Beth Davis
I Never Saw It Coming

Great Pitch! It makes me want to read it, I think I will...

Beth Davis
I Never Saw It Coming

Hi Susan,
Here is my swap read as promised :-)
Your description of Donna’s eyelashes the morning after is bang on! As is the way you describe her hang over, in places as if it were human. Good on you for coming with such an original unique way of describing the mess the morning after, rather than just the usual ‘dry mouth and thumping head’.
The only sentence that jarred with me was this one – ‘to simply take the sting out off of her earlier reprimand at work’. Bit of a tongue twister that I read about six times slowly. I think it should just be ‘to simply take the sting out of her earlier reprimand at work’.
Anthony changes to Antony at one point.
This is fabulous and very, very funny!
Highly starred and will add to my list of books to shelve at some stage :-)
Tammy Robinson

Susan, I've just read the four chapters uploaded and I really enjoyed this. The drunken behaviour and the hangover seemed like a girls night out, a bit of fun and a humorous scene to begin the story, but the further in I got the more the drinking becomes habitual and you can see it's escapism in a sad and vulnerable way.

I was grabbed by the opening and immediately pulled in. Loved the conversation between the phone, purse etc.

I don't think I'll be able to set foot in a salon again without cringing about what the staff are saying.

'A purple and orange, intricately crotched' - did you mean crocheted?

Really liked the simile of Joe and the wasp in winter.

The memory of the driving test and the pigeons was the only part that didn't really work for me, it lifted me out of the story for a moment and interrupted what had been a well flowing story. I did like the last image of that poor shoe.

An excellent read.

Ok this is funny. I laughed out loud on "We shall not be moved." I think chapter one, you can tone down on the odd paragraphs. They call too much attention to themselves. Anyway this is hella funny.

Susan;
I just finished all the work you put out on the site and for a first time writer you are amazing. I enjoyed the story and think that you develop your characters beautifully.
I also have to compliment you on your keen sense of humor and how you are able to turn a phrase. High stars rating from me and I have decided to add you to my bookshelf and am truly looking forward to continue reading your work.
If you find the time I would appreciate it if you could take a look at my work: "Ella in Between", comment and if you like it, back me.
Best of luck and I can't wait to continue reading.
Elke

Susan,

I am so sorry, I have read two chapters, and I was so enjoying it that I completely forgot to check for mistakes and things.

I love the way that Donna thinks, that objects come to life and Donna is so completely hopeless. your converastions are wonderful.

I will try to add this to my shelf.
Warrick