No Kiss Goodbye

“Mama stood waiting at the bottom with a stern face. One look into her eyes felt like a plunge into icy waters, her austere countenance glaring like the surface of an iceberg. As I stepped off the train and threw my free hand up to hug her, she blocked me with one arm while at the same time grabbing my suitcase from my hand. Turning abruptly, she marched off through the crowd. I fought not to burst into tears.”

Not since Angela’s Ashes have I been so engaged by a memoir. This account of a young girl’s escape from Communist Romania is beautifully rendered with the author’s masterful prose. The reader’s heart aches at what she had to endure, and soars when Dana attains her goal of reaching America. No Kiss Goodbye is a personal and literary triumph. Six stars.

Glenn Muller
(TORQUE)

Hi Donna. Just another short comment from me, to tell you how much I am enjoying No Kiss Goodbye. I haven't finished but have made a start and am hooked. x

I can feel a sense of something building. Even by chapter 4, I am starting to see your story unfold and it makes me want to read on. Touching moments, like playing with your baby sister's curls as she went back to sleep, and things like, "Lulu and I waited on a bench beneath lingering stars, holding hands and staring at waves tumble onto the shore." There is something so wistful and deeply loving in the way you write these scenes. I am hoping for everything to turn out wonderfully.

The start of ch. 3 (and the entire chapter, as it unfolds actually) is just amazing. I am left feeling that no words I could say could do justice. I feel changed from having read it.

I feel there is much I could learn from you about getting right to the heart of things in fewer words…! You have used such wonderful language to convey so much, your characters and the settings seem to be jumping out of the screen at me already. I thoroughly immersed myself in your world.

And I want to read on but, alas, I have run out of time for the next several days again! I will be back, but didn't want another night to pass without sharing my few thoughts (for what they may be worth).

All the best,
Kirrily

Donna, please let me thank you again. I keep reading this book and keep loving it. Everyone on this site (no doubt) reads books so that their own books get read, or because they're returning a favor. That's how it works. But I really, really like this one, regardless of the expected protocol. It's nice to have a chapter of this to look forward to after a day of reading things that are less fulfilling. You have a wonderful story to tell and you write so well. Thanks again.

Just finished chp. 5 about the big package sent from West Germany. Again, I like how you mingle general slices of what life was like in Romania with what happens with your family specifically. Your mother and Tati and Lulu and yourself are becoming more real by the page. The dialogue helps so much with this. It is delightful and natural. Your mother and her terse, no-nonsense explanations. Having to eat the gizzards and the beef brains! You and your sister's closeness and your not wanting to be away from her. Waking her up in the middle of the night just to go to the bathroom. Precious. These are the kinds of well-chosen details that make this book so rich. And the bits of Romanian language, I'm loving it.

Another effect of this is to make me more thankful for western freedom. We have our faults, for sure, but this yearning of yours that is developing in these pages--well, it makes me think of what I have taken for granted for so long. And you have a real knack for ending your chapters with a pithy sentence that strikingly sums up what's gone before (something like the final couplet in many sonnets) but that leads us on, hinting at things to come. This last sentence of this chapter is a wonderful example: "And I didn't know about the God the government declared didn't exist, but I felt in my heart there had to be more to life than the ticking of the clock."

Again, great stuff. I'm loving it. Thanks again. You'll have my support as long as your book is on this site. I'm really liking it, and I am no false flatterer.

all the best,

Jeff M.

NO KISS GOODBYE Chapters 1 to 7

This is a beautiful and lively memoir, full of wonderful personalities against a backdrop of dramatic events. I know it will become more hard hitting in later chapters, there are hints of this already, but staying with Dana during her early childhood was a treat. I love the way you've described the family relationships; it jumps from the page. I can feel your love and adoration of "Tati" (eg learning to swim with him in the Black Sea) and the impact of the ferocious determination of your single-minded mother. It is often filled with humour (the mud baths, for instance) but we can feel for the young Dana as she is ramrolled into German lessons and music lessons because that's what her mother wants her to do. It doesn't matter where we have been brought up, I think most of us can identify with at least some of the family events and the way they affect Dana.
The tonsil operation is terrifying and the result, that Mama stops Dana's ballet lessons, is heart breaking. The reader can really feel the shattering of Dana's dream (as opposed to the dream her mother has for her!)
Slowly you interweave these family events with the political situation in Romania and they start to impact on Dana (especially by the end of Chapter 7 when she's told she must not express her opinions, even with family and friends.)
The meeting with the West German family on the Black Sea coast is a major event, which we sense will alter their lives forever. The arrival of the parcel is exciting, but her parent's holiday in the West was both exciting and disturbing: Dana has to stay in the country with Mama's sister, which she hates (and we begin to realise why Mama is so ambitious for Dana) and when her parents return, they have the first thoughts of defection. These thoughts split the family. Tati wants to stay in Romania, whereas Dana and Mama want to live in the West, Mama for the wealth and abundance of goods, Dana for the freedom of thought.

This is good writing. I realise Dana's life (YOUR life!) is even more dramatic after chapter 7, but your memoir is much more than dramatic events (even though they are fascinating.) It is warm and rich and the young Dana is captivating. The dialogue between the family members sings! I'm not an expert on these things, but there's a big market for true life stories and I'm sure this will be snapped up by Harper Collins or another similar publisher.
Good luck with this!

I will place No Kiss Goodbye on my shelf when I next have space. (Probably at the weekend) I have given it 6 stars.
Cherry
The Girl From Ithaca

Dear Donna, remember me! I have now published 'The Severed Cord' on Amazon and Kindle and would be really grateful if you would put a customer review on it for me. I'm desperate to get some reviews! I'm pleased that you got such a good review from HarperCollins. I do hope you can help me out.
Kind regards, Pamela Crabtree.

Hi Donna,
I have just read several chapters of your true story. It is very moving in parts. I would like to have known more about your parents backgtound. I haven't time to read it all, so skipped to the last chapter. You describe the plane journey well, also the confusion at the airport. I had skip to the last chapter to see if you arrived safely in America, and thank goodness you did. Congratulations for getting to the Harper Collins revue and I wish you all the luck in the world with it. The best advice I was given by a friend on Authonomy, was read it out aloud and polish polish polish! I would love a read swop, The Magic Kingdom' Margaret C

end I had to find out if you but had to

Congrats on that wonderful review Donna!!! ;)

Have a blessed day!

- Scott, Hearts of Avon and Eden Legacy

Congrats! Much deserved

D.Lane
Freedom Rings

Congratulations on a pretty good review, Donna. You've taken a high degree of difficulty subject, laid it out nicely and should be proud. Perhaps the emphasis HC places on wanting a bit more back story of Romania is good advice.

Best of luck with this

Emmett

Donna,

I wanted to let you know that I was re-reading the first part of your work today and abosutely loved my re-read!

Have a blessed day!

- Scott, Hearts of Avon and Eden Legacy

Donna,

This is a lovely, lovely story and very well written. It is fitting that you have made it to the editor's desk and I really hope that this gets published. People need to know what it was like or they will not only not appreciate what they have, but it could happen again.

I'm not an editor, and I hope you will find a good one. I think there is some tightening up that you could do, some places where you explain the same thing more than once where it isn't needed. But The story is not just good, but amazing. I hope you were able to see your family and your father again. Of course I'd love to know about that, but perhaps that is another book.

Well done.

Tara

Well done, I loved it. I can't put it down.

Mark

I loved it, well done. I can't put it down!

mark

This a spellbounding saga that I could not put down. I just kept turning pages as if the book wouldn't end. Carefully written and detailed of a childs life and transformation as she left her home country for a life she always dreamed of and hope for. Nothing comes without sacrfice the the exposed emotoions are revealed from chapter to chapter as if you're living the life side by side with her and sharing her joy and tears. She didn't realize the treasure she was to become in a new life.

This a spellbounding saga that I could not put down. I just kept turning pages as if the book wouldn't end. Carefully written and detailed of a childs life and transformation as she left her home country for a life she always dreamed of and hope for. Nothing comes without sacrfice the the exposed emotoions are revealed from chapter to chapter as if you're living the life side by side with her and sharing her joy and tears. She didn't realize the treasure she was to become in a new life.

This a spellbounding saga that I could not put down. I just kept turning pages as if the book wouldn't end. Carefully written and detailed of a childs life and transformation as she left her home country for a life she always dreamed of and hope for. Nothing comes without sacrfice the the exposed emotoions are revealed from chapter to chapter as if you're living the life side by side with her and sharing her joy and tears. She didn't realize the treasure she was to become in a new life.

Hi Donna,

In regards to Elaine's review, it's very disheartening that a person could say such terrible things after reading your amazing book. I never forgot it, after having read it months ago when I came on the site. I considered it very beautiful and moving from beginning to end, and it's the total opposite of what this woman described. The beauty of your person shone in your words, and it is obvious to anyone reading Elaine's comment that there is no beauty in her response. Her words were angry and bitter and sad, and it's difficult to imagine someone so hate-filled and uncaring. I hope and pray that she will someday know the peace that you have learned. You have so many people who care for you on the site, and she is definitely the minority. Not sure what she could be thinking.

Kara
A Gate Called Beautiful

To Miss Chaika:

Your use of the the word "barf" near the end of your review: well, I'd say that's almost sophomoric. Such a sophisticated linguist you are!

Regarding remembered dialogue. What do you want? To ban all dialogue whatsoever from autobiographical works unless the writer happened to be holding a tape recorder during every important conversation in her life? You will be ruling out many excellent books.

In your next review of a book that irks you, avoid phrases like "hegemony of the super wealthy" and "decimated middle class". Phrases like this too clearly identify you as a political partisan who may simply dislike a book because it runs counter to your political dispositions. Many will dismiss your literary judgements as an unreasonable political rant, a knee-jerk reaction. I suspect that's all they are in this case.

If you don't blame today's Rumanians for past atrocities, why do you bring it up at all in a review of a former Rumanian's book? Donna certainly had nothing to do with the atrocities. How are such atrocities relevant to a literary judgement of her book? If you want to write a book about how horrible the Rumanians were thirty years before Donna was alive, please do write that book. If you want to write your own book proving there is no longer any opportunity in America, go to it. Say that it is a myth and give us the reasons. But please don't waste space here by allowing your politics (however correct) and Rumania's pre-Donna history (however horrible it was for Jews) to so obviously skew your literary judgement of a book.

And please make up your mind. Is Donna's book "well written" or is it "mind-numbing"? If something is mind-numbing, it is not well-written. What I think you've done here is make up your mind to dislike a book, because it upsets your political stomach, and then throw together a makeshift attack on its literary merits in an effort to make it all seem a bit more credible.

Your facade is very shoddy. A reasonable person can see straight through.

I like Donna's book because her story is compelling and because her writing is artful. Not because I worship America. If you think opportunity in America is a myth, go out and write your own book about that. But don't attack a very interesting personal story as boring just because you do not admire America as much as Donna does. This seems bigoted and intolerant to me. There is certainly more opportunity here than the place she left. Do you deny this? Who are you to invalidate her experience, or the quality of her writing, simply because of your political ideas regarding how much opportunity you think there is in America these days?

I've read many books on Authonomy that bored me, some of them in the top five. Donna's is not one of these. Please try to be more reasonable, and less reactionary, in your next review.

J. McInnis

Hi TDonna,

Regarding Elaine Chaika's uncalled for vitriolic comments.

1. She obviously has never heard of a photographic memory--mine has been out of film for years (and, in this digital age, film is no longer available;^), but I've known several people, went to school with and served in the military with people who never forgot anything.

2. Even in writing a memoir, a person is allowed some latitude in recreating scenes and conversations from the past. The idea is as much to recreate the feelings and emotions as it is to be totally and inerrantly factual.

3. Most of the rest of what she wrote is merely the ravings of an angry person who is getting what should expected from electing people who hate this country, while still not realizing that the failings are mostly the result of the influences of people who share her views.

Sadly, as people who share her views grow in number, our wonderful freedoms are in grave jeopardy. Her comments to you were personal and, I have no doubt, painful. Take joy in the truth, be comforted that many of us share your joy at being an American, and hold on to the hope that God has an even greater blessing for those who endure to the end.

Robert

Regarding comments by the Wicked Witch, you indeed are a wicked witch who doesn't know the meaning of gratitude. You say Donna was lucky. Were your grandparents lucky, too? What about the millions of others who have come to America. Were they all lucky? Unfortunately there isn't a test for vitriol that would allow people like you to be expatriated. If you don't like it here, why don't you leave? Go back to Ukraine--anyplace but get the hell out of my America.

You say this is not the land of opportunity. Perhaps that says more about you than America. Thousands of new immigrants come here every year and start new businesses and become wealthy. Maybe you're just lazy. Maybe you're stupid. You've already demonstrated you're ignorant. Whatever the reason, if you can't make it here in America, it's your own fault.

Your liberal academia worldview, living in a bubble divorced from reality doesn't impress me, nor does your Phd. I know many of you moronic well educated academics who can't see past your petty biases.

It's not surprising that you don't understand Donna's book. You didn't even take the time to read it. It's a book about idealism and integrity and love and passion. It's about freedom and living a dream and faith. I'm sure these concepts are unfamiliar to you. You make me want to barf.

P.S. I won't be so crass as to point out all your misspellings. Obviously your Phd isn't in English.

Donna,

This is not so much a review of your work as it is a defense of it. I have commented on No Kiss Goodbye many many times because of my deep love for this work and as I returned recently I discovered a comment below from a person obviously filled with hate for the world. Their comment was misguided, completely unfounded, woven with jealousy and dare I say... possibly written just to get them attention on the site. That is a shame, that someone would trash an amazing book without even actually taking the time to fully comprehend what the book is about.

This reviewer began with an attack on America and the American Dream, which is alive and well thank you very much, and then attacked the book's dialog, saying that it would be impossible to remember verbatim what you said when you were younger so that you could write it down now. Hello, excuse me, of course the words are not verbatim, but the voice is and that can be remembered and is written very well. It inspires us as we read and shows us exactly what it was that Donna experienced at the time. Also, in regards to exact wording, Donna no doubt spoke Romanian and not English at the time, meaning that if the dialog was written verbatim than English speakers would not comprehend the words.

Then we come to... and I quote...

"her reasons for so passionately wanted to emigrate to America seems to have been the greater variety of consumer goods and the plentiful Christian churches"

I always say that when you decide how to take a person's comment you should first look at their grammar. Re-read that line in quotes up there. I count at least 3 grammatical errors. If you can't write a proper sentence while ranting hate I certainly am not going to consider your thoughts. Furthermore, if this reviewer had actually read the book they would know that Donna wanted to escape Romania because of the oppressive Communist government there at the time. Her love for the people of Romania runs deep. It was the Communist rule that made her yearn to leave. She also yearned to have the right to make her own choices in what religion she practiced and how she lived her life.

Donna writes with marvelous style and conveys her true-life story to the reader in such a way that we become a part of the experience and are lifted and inspired by the ways that God has worked in her life. This is a wonderful read and I stand firmly by every positive word I have ever written about this work! This is my favorite book of all time and I am anxious for HC to have the opportunity to experience Donna's journey!

To any who read... Have a blessed day!

- Scott, Eden Legacy

P.s. Below I've re-posted my original comment after my first complete read of No Kiss Goodbye. Everything I wrote then still stands firm!

{NO KISS GOODBYE -- COMPLETE READ}

Words cannot properly express my admiration for this true-life novel and the depth and importance of the story told here! Here is the story of one young lady's journey and struggle through Communist Romania in the early 1980s and how God embraced her, held her and brought her through the darkness into a deeper connection with his love and from the chains of Communism into a better world!

I have never read a book on or off Authonomy that has touched me like this or has been so fulfilling and real! There is pain and beauty in these pages. It is a story that will keep you rapt as you read and teach you what it was truly like to be a part of Communist Romania at the time. This read is a blessing and is a testament to the love of God and what Faith can bring to the world! I cannot recommend it enough and am extremely honored to have been able to read the full manuscript before it is picked up by a major publishing company! It will be! There is no doubt in my mind of that!

COMMISSIONING EDITORS PAY ATTENTION! No Kiss Goodbye is a unique read that takes hold of you and keeps you rapt until the final line!

BACKED to the desk!!!

Have a blessed day!

- Scott Justin Toney, The Ark of Humanity, Eden Legacy and Lazarus, Man

The outright thrashing of Donna Robison's book by Elaine Chaika is uncalled for at the least. It is her choice to like or dislike as she pleases. But, I see no need to be overtly aggressive and mean spirited.
Having been in the military helping to keep our country free. Free speech is a privilege and often abused by the left wing liberals. Of which I am positive this Ms. Chaika is a card carrying member in good standing. She probably voted for that poor excuse for a president we have.

Regarding Elaine Chaika's comment:

Your bitter commentary serves to prove my point how the communist government treated foreign visitors with one face to bring in western currency versus its other face to us, living daily subjected to its oppression.

As far as your comment about America, although it's not the point of my story at all, which shows whatever part you did read that you read it entirely with a hateful, biased eye, despite whatever faults you want to assign it, it is still by far the greatest nation and I love America passionately for the personal freedom it gives me, because I know firsthand what it's like to live without any freedoms. There appears nothing is sacred to you, madam, not this land and not a young girl's dream and not reading a story for what it's intended to tell.

Twelve years after arriving in the United States, I became an attorney, sworn into office in the State of California. I attended law school at night, raising two children only one year and two months apart. I travel to my heart's content. I learned English to my heart's delight. I worship God in the church of my choice. I don't live in fear. When it's time to vote, I cast my vote not for the only candidate on the ticket because under communism only one party can exist, but for the candidate of my choice, the one that stands for individuality and freedom. That, my dear madam, is still America.

And it's also worth noting that instead of uploading your work on the website and expose it to review and feedback by the members, you instead chose to include within your comment a link to your website.

I wish you whatever happiness you are searching for, madam. And if trashing me makes you happy, well, you should be very happy indeed.

I hate to be the Wicked Witch here, and I understand American readers who love to read validation of American life that glosses over the bitter reality of the truth of the so-called American Dream. This is well-written chauvinism, of that I don't doubt, but the pages of purported dialog become mind-numbing. Nobody, but nobody, but nobody recalls the exact conversations that occurred throughout their childhoods, adolescence or adulthood unless they were walking around with the world's greatest tape recorder. The sentence structure is annoyingly similar throughout. Worse, her reasons for so passionately wanted to emigrate to America seems to have been the greater variety of consumer goods and the plentiful Christian churches, and if religion was that repressed in Rumania, how could she have quoted Scripture so accurately, even as a child.? I was in Rumania in 1982 and churches were open, people were well-dressed, and had conveniently forgotten the once large Jewish population the good Christians happily turned over to the Nazis. I traveled the route from Ukraine to Rumania, all the way to Bucharest, the road my grandmothr, my father and my aunts hiked on in their escape from Bar, Ukraine in 1921. I don't blame today's Rumanians for their forebears"' part in massacring Jews in 1940's, but I do find this memoir poorly written, monotonously unvarying in style, almost sophomoric. So, this is what is necessary to get a book published today? Made up pages of dialogues and boring writing that extols the America that was? On my family history website,
Http://elaineostrachchaika.com.
there is a song I learned as a child in Yiddish: "Rumania, Rumania, a mol gewvain a land und zie zo shayne," (Rumania, Rumania,once was a land so beautiful.")and the chorus recalls "Essen Mamaliga" which this author also cites. Yes, she got a better life in America. She was lucky. To perpetuate the myth of the land of opportunity, however, is wrong. America has ceased to be that, with its decimated middle class and the hegemony of the super wealthy. Reading this after the daily newspapers' reports of mortgage foreclosure and factory closings makes me want to barf

CONGRATULATIONS!!! :) I can't wait to read your review Donna! Have a blessed weekend!

{No Kiss Goodbye}

Donna,

Go get em!!! :) I'm anxiously counting down the hours! This is such a wonderful and inspiring read and I can't wait to have it on my shelf at home!

Have a blessed day!

- Scott

I read the first chapter. This is amazing! I love reading history, especially from an autobiographical perspective. I cannot wait to see this on the shelves! I have given you 5 stars. I'll read the full thing for sure! :)

Chelsea Mason Basiliere
SON OF THE REAPER

Hi Donna. I want to wish the best of good luck for the month end. I shall be holding thumbs that your book is chosen for publishing.
I am not a writer, but an avid reader and have been since I learned how to read when I was 6.
Love and big hugs,
Bumble.

Dear Donna,
Well 611 positive comments, rank 1 what to say as first.
I am so excited to be here on your page and to read what you have to offer!
I don´t dare to say one word of criticism but words approval and even this shy out of respect lady.
You know I lived is post-communist land so I was at home on your first chapters.
I need and want to read more but now I am just enthusiastic and let me please stay on this stage :)
Thank you for writing the great story!
All stars we can give belong to you!

Hello Donna,

Your book is a tour de force!

Best Wishes.

Ayton Septar - Waylord

Donna,

I am so excited for you!!! :) The anticipation builds! Soon, very very soon, you will be able to come up to breathe!

I can't wait! No Kiss Goodbye is one of my favorite books of all time by any author and you deserve this {in my opinion} more than any other author on this site! I am excited for HC to have the honor of enjoying your work and I sit with great anticipation to hear their thoughts on it!

Congratulations! Enjoy this! I'll be back soon!

Have a blessed day!

- Scott, Eden Legacy

Donna:

I rarely pick up a book and feel captivated by the writing. Although I haven't finished the book, I am truly amazed at the talent you possess. Most importantly, I can't believe you haven't been published yet. You've been able to create a picture, provoke thought, draw your reader into what you feel, and so much more.

I continue to feel chills and can hear "Tati' and "Dana" like it's coming straight from your mouths. The characters are well depicted and can translate well to those who have never had an encounter with the subjects featured in the book.

I'm really impressed! Being a huge critic on most things, I found myself emerged deep into the writing instead of seeking flaws or improvements - I haven't had the slightest urge, desire or even a need. Simply remarkable.

Honestly, I am speechless.

Yours truly,
Ashley
marketing professional with experience in mass media and public relations

Donna:

I rarely pick up a book and feel captivated by the writing. Although I haven't finished the book, I am truly amazed at the talent you possess. Most importantly, I can't believe you haven't been published yet. You've been able to create a picture, provoke thought, draw your reader into what you feel, and so much more.

I continue to feel chills and can hear "Tati' and "Dana" like it's coming straight from your mouths. The characters are well depicted and can translate well to those who have never had an encounter with the subjects featured in the book.

I'm really impressed! Being a huge critic on most things, I found myself emerged deep into the writing instead of seeking flaws or improvements - I haven't had the slightest urge, desire or even a need. Simply remarkable.

Honestly, I am speechless.

Yours truly,
Ashley
marketing professional with experience in mass media and public relations

Donna:

I rarely pick up a book and feel captivated by the writing. Although I haven't finished the book, I am truly amazed at the talent you possess. Most importantly, I can't believe you haven't been published yet. You've been able to create a picture, provoke thought, draw your reader into what you feel, and so much more.

I continue to feel chills and can hear "Tati' and "Dana" like it's coming straight from your mouths. The characters are well depicted and can translate well to those who have never had an encounter with the subjects featured in the book.

I'm really impressed! Being a huge critic on most things, I found myself emerged deep into the writing instead of seeking flaws or improvements - I haven't had the slightest urge, desire or even a need. Simply remarkable.

Honestly, I am speechless.

Yours truly,
Ashley
marketing professional with experience in mass media and public relations

Hey Donna,
Just finished the reread on Chapter 19. What despair you must have been feeling. You must have been devastated. This is a powerful chapter filled with emotion. Good job.
Ted

Hello Donna,

I am writing these comments before I should. I am on chapter 22 and should wait until I have read it all. However, your book is on the editor's desk, you're number one, with a great chance to be published. If these comments can contribute towards you going to publication, then now is the time for you to hear them. Before making comment I have re-read your first and second chapters, just to make sure I am on the right track.

First comment: Thank you for writing your story. I believe people in the so-called free West need to read it so they realize just how precious their personal freedoms are. With the wizardry of today's technology, governments and corporations are whittling away our personal freedoms at an alarming rate. People need to sit up and take notice and do what they can to protect their freedoms. Once gone, as you are well aware, it is a long road back.

Second comment: your story is a powerful personal drama, with sustained tension and challenge. It is well told. I know this because I became oblivious to the writing and was carried along with you visually and emotionally every step of the way. Your blood is on every page - I am sure your book helped you to purge yourself of all the hidden, deep down trauma that had to come out to allow you to be truly free. My guess is that you are a Capricorn, or you have a Capricorn Ascendant. Capricorn is about tempering the spirit with adversity. It is the alchemical process of turning base metal into gold - spiritually speaking, that is. Capricorns never give up. It seems that you have proved that to be true.

Comment three: The title to your book is "No Kiss Goodbye" it is a powerful hook. The first part of your pitch explains what it represents. The latter part of your pitch gives an outline of the three parts of the book. They are akin to the small print in a contract - not top of mind - and not why a person who is drawn by your up-front description would read your book. So what is your story about. It isn't about "No Kiss Goodbye:" it isn't about Romania or growing up in Romania; it is about one person's arduous, lifetime journey to freedom. After reading the book and asked what I thought the premise was, I'd say, "The indomitable human spirit wins through," or, "Believe in and pursue your dream and it will come true," or, "Be true to yourself and you will live the life that's right for you."

Why I am making this point is because I was hooked by your title, by the first part of your pitch, and by your first chapter. When I started your second chapter, I felt a big let-down. Suddenly I was in another story. You see, I hadn't really taken much notice of the fine print. You could have lost me somewhere between the second and fourth chapters. After that the tension is at a good level and carries you on. So what am I saying? Well, at the end of the first chapter you talk about travels long gone and an unlikely relationship. However, I must ask: If your readers are reading your book for the primary reasons, are they really receptive to being thrown off course, when they are expecting high drama? It is much like buying tickets to the Super Bowl and the Little League comes out to play. I am not suggesting any big departure from what you have. It is merely the bridge between the first and second chapters, I believe that needs to focus on the main thread of the story. If your memory goes back to when the first compelling burn of freedom came to you and then linked that to the travels long gone and the relationship, you would be preparing the reader for the second chapter - because their focus would not be so much on the situation but on you and your personal drama. That is a different perspective than what you are presenting in your bridge. It is not a big change but it could make all the difference. It does, however infer that the journey to freedom should be in the first part of your pitch - it is, really, what your book is all about.

Of course, Donna, this is based on my subjective experience of reading your book. If it is helpful in anyway - okay! If it isn't - okay!

Best wishes - on the editors desk,

Ciao for now,

Ayton

Donna,

You have a story from the heart written. Your numbers above show how well loved you and your story are,
Jeff is correct. Not many, if any are going to listen to such shallowness. Your story has already shown you have the courage of a lion and a heart of steel. Hold your head high and continue to take the high road as you already have.

Sara Stinson
Finger Bones

We are on this site to help each other.

Donna,

Just a note on Storyreader's opinion below. I don't think very many open-minded potential readers will be affected much by what he says. By the way, Story-reader, the noun form is spelled "effect", the verb form "affect". Whatever you do, Donna, don't let him counsel you on your grammar!

People do have different tastes, this is true, but if I were you, I wouldn't worry about him. Some children who have only a taste for cotton candy seem to think it their duty to go around saying everything else that is not cotton candy is boring. His taste in books may be like this. As for me, I thought your first chapter was excellent, and if Storyteller would go on reading for more than four minutes, he'd find much else in your book worth reading. But I'm not sure he'd recognize it if he saw it.

Jeff

Donna, I just finished the last chapter and wept...so many emotions evoked by your poignant descriptions of your own emotions during the months after leaving Romania. Your account is beautiffully written, capturing a young girl's heart for her dream. You have brought to life the struggles of your family, in a way that is engaging for the reader. Each vignette adds another facet to the picture of life in a culture most of us are totally unfamiliar with and of emotions most of us did not have to wrestle with at the age of 14. Just as you fulfill your dream, so must the telling of your story be a triumph for you as well. Bravo!

Hi Donna, sorry that I haven't been able to read very fast--my children are computer hogs! Just finished chapter five and as I read it I began to understand the difficult life one must endure in a communist country. Although difficult, I'm sure that it madeyou a stronger person. Well writen, as always. I could find nothing to change. Just hang in there; you've only got a short time left. This is such an amazing story and journey--I know you'll do very well! Trish

From the previous book comment to the time s/he posted this comment, authonomy registered 4 minutes. Perhaps this person "storyreader" could have taken a few seconds to note the "established authors" to whom s/he is referring who have written about my personal story.

Lets start with chapter 1, I have to as I would not read further. Scene setting, description of scene etc. Labourered and over indulgent. This did not grab me as a great read. This type of story has been done, and written far far better by established authors. sorry but pretty boring if you ask me.

I replied this member this way, although I felt emotional still:

"Also, this is a site for constructive criticism, not bashing, If you were in a store, you'd replace the book in the shelf, not paste your opinion of 4 mins. on it.

Are you aware that this is my story when I was 14 years old? I've poured my heart and soul to write it, and you trashed it after a glance. Yes, I'm hurt because you could have easily moved on if it wasn't to your liking. I'm an amateur writer, without a literary degree and writing in a foreign language -- my 4th, too. Maybe you could have found something a little nice to say. "Good use of English" perhaps?

No, whoever you are, still, I'm praying for you, although you've wounded me deeply."

Dear Donna, I am sorry my crit, was perhaps sharp. Certainly my intention was not to upset, however, I am sometimes far too blunt. However, I am just one opinion and my comments certainly would not decide the success or failure of your project. My only advice is that you may need to grow a thicker skin and not let one opinion effect your emotions so much. I am sure there are many who will love and adore this project and others like me or worse.

Good luck

Dear Donna, I am sorry my crit, was perhaps sharp. Certainly my intention was not to upset, however, I am sometimes far too blunt. However, I am just one opinion and my comments certainly would not decide the success or failure of your project. My only advice is that you may need to grow a thicker skin and not let one opinion effect your emotions so much. I am sure there are many who will love and adore this project and others like me or worse.

Good luck

Note regarding comment by member id "storyreader:" according to the "recent comments log" it took this member four minutes between leaving a comment on a previous book and leaving a comment on my book.

Dear Donna,
What can I say...your style, description of feelings and the flow of your real life story is numero uno! I'm rating No Kiss Goodbye only with six stars as there is no seven...
Best wishes and stay well my friend,
LCF QUARTET, Lucette Cohen Fins
Ten Deep Footprints

Lets start with chapter 1, I have to as I would not read further. Scene setting, description of scene etc. Labourered and over indulgent. This did not grab me as a great read. This type of story has been done, and written far far better by established authors. sorry but pretty boring if you ask me.

Hello Donna,, have just finished chapter four. I am captivated. Your memory serves you well. You have conveyed in full volume your thoughts, feeling and perceptions of your earlier life, I am living them with you. Strong emotional feelings come through and take me back to my own young days when every thought and gesture was experienced as a thick soup full of flavour and spice. Look forward to continuing the read.

Ciao for now,
Ayton - Waylord

Hey Donna,
I just reread Chapter 18. I missed the subtleties the first time through. You have woven the friction between Tati and your mother into the chapter as a subtext, underlying the whole reason for your mother's plan. Really very well done. I'm enjoying this time through more.

Only a week. Are you excited?

Ted

Loving this reading. Want a nit-picky grammar gripe? (I seriously have yet to figure out if people want stuff like this or not, but I am new and someone will tell me to shut up if need be. Yeah, go ahead, feel free.)

Chapter 2 "holding hands and staring at waves tumble onto the shore" Seems to me to be verb confusion.

Suggestion: "holding hands and staring at waves tumbling onto the shore" or "holding hands and staring at waves as they tumble(d) onto the shore" (I don't remember the rest of the sentence so couldn't remember if it would be tumble or tumbled in that instance.

Seriously though, that's all I could come up with. I mean when you get stuff that insignificant it means there's nothing bigger to find and it's a darn good book. (At least that's how I see it.)

Anyway, I am going to nit-pick this if I find anything else because I seriously don't want it to lose the #1 place. It's good and someone with the power to give it ink ought to read it. That's why I am leaving it on my bookshelf until after the first of the month. (See, I do love it - really.)

- Jennifer James

* Good Girl
* All For Joy
* A Place For Hope

I don't have a lot of time right now so I have only read the first chapter but I am putting this on my bookshelf and it will stay there until I have the time to finish it. It's well written and I actually want to finish it. (I won't put anything on the shelf unless I've read or plan to read the entire book.)

Hello Donna, have read your first two chapters. First chapter is a humdinger. Will keep you posted. Ciao for now.

This is a fast paced read, in which I felt like a passenger on the narrators shoulder. I enjoyed the mix of cultural and local descriptions and language. The characters retain an air of mystery in part, and I would like to delve deeper into their psyche, learning more perhaps of their deeper fears and concerns, mixed with their individual understandings of how they make sense of these. Fear, and in the nicest way a sense of paranoia exist, which adds to the flavour overall. Thank you
Mike Lowry
Teenagers:their care and maintenance in captivity

Just skimmed so far, but I am going to read this! Brilliant! Hope it stays on here for a while after you've won (or however it works!)

Mark
(suppose I better put my book name in - seems to be what's done!) Balance of Power :)