Book Jacket

 

rank 1179
word count 19926
date submitted 28.11.2011
date updated 12.12.2011
genres: Chick Lit, Romance, Fantasy, Comedy...
classification: adult
incomplete

Guardian Devil

Karyn S. Mendoza

Every time you hear a bell an angel gets...revenge!

 

Vibiana Morales met with a tragic death when she fell from a stripper pole on amateur night at The Jug Hut. As if that weren’t bad enough, she discovers she has to pay penance for a few uncharitable acts she committed her last days on Earth.
Gideon, her intriguing supervisor, explains she is to be a guardian angel. Unfortunately, she’s to be the guardian of that prissy, job stealing, man snatching Sabrina Barrett, Vibi’s long standing nemesis and the wife of Jesse de Marco - the jerk who stood Vibiana up at the altar!
Ignoring the advice and warning, (as well as the butterflies in the stomach) Gideon gives her, Vibiana seizes the opportunity to wreak havoc with Sabrina’s life by; joyfully dishing out bad hair days, stubbing fragile toes, misplacing keys and ruining every romantic moment Jesse and Sabrina try to share. But Vibi takes it too far. Sabrina’s job is in jeopardy and her marriage is on the rocks.
Will Vibiana be able to set aside her own feelings and right her wrongs? Will she be able to gain back Gideon’s trust and respect…and earn his love? Her soul depends on it.

 
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tags

chick-lit, humorous romance, light-hearted, paranormal fantasy

on 2 watchlists

12 comments

 

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kiwigirl2011 wrote 870 days ago

Some funny writing here (bedazzled brazalian!)
There’s images or something in chapter two and three that aren’t showing (I don’t think they let them on here?)
Have read the first few chapters now and this is a fabulous book. Great sassy main character, intriguing and original plot line. I didn’t see any errors which I’m normally pretty good at spotting, there may be some but I was too caught up in the story!
An easy six stars from me :-)
Tammy Robinson

Warrick Mayes wrote 875 days ago

Yup, Fabulous!
I have only read 2 chapters, but I think this is first class.
I can find no fault. I love the name of the heroine, her sarcasm and attitude.
One for my watchlist and a high rating.

Best regards
Warrick

djp wrote 238 days ago

Fun, cool and fast. Just what I like :)
Looking forward to reading more and shall come back with more comments.
I know it's chick lit but doesn't read like most others, which is good as I don't like the others!

djp wrote 238 days ago

Fun, cool and fast. Just what I like :)
Looking forward to reading more and shall come back with more comments.
I know it's chick lit but doesn't read like most others, which is good as I don't like the others!

billysunday wrote 715 days ago

Great flair and wit! Good luck, Dina Rae

chuckylivesinme wrote 780 days ago

Guardian Devil

These are just my thoughts as I read through your work...Please use, enjoy, or disregard as you wish, mine is just another opinion in a sea of plenty...

Cover & Title – Nice and original both cover and title, everyone thinks of guardian angel so this is a nice twist.

Short Pitch – Love it – funny and to the point

Long Pitch – Very nice, I would space it out if you can as although its in paragraphs just now they kinda blend together. It promises what could be a good, funny read.

Prologue – you don’t need the capital B on Bedazzled. Apart from a few misplaced commas this is really good. Nice descriptiveness about it and I can almost see the jug hut and her writhing body on the pole in my mind. Well done

Chapter 2 – Very funny in places, good use of language and good way of showing her character by having her pissed off at Nigel. And then after shes lusted slightly over Gideon the penny drops. V well described, chapter moves along freely and without too many internal thought which can slow it down. Very nice way to get to heaven actually. To many are described as pearly gates etc, staircases but a nice long white corridor, with a good looking guy would be my guess too LOL

Chapter 3 – Oh she was a bad girl LOL nice opening list of her indiscretions. Watch out for run on sentences, ones where you use semi colons instead of commas. Either re write them, or separate them for example “I didn’t know that rock was gonna hit the cat; etc”

That is the ultimate in God having funny ways, ur going to hell unless u are a guardian angel for your worst enemy.

This is a great read, yes there are a few punctuation mistakes and run on sentences but looking past this, it’s got one of the most inventive plots that could run indefinitely. On the whole its well written, funny, modern, upto date and a great read on a Sunday afternoon.

Well done, ive highly stared this and will back and give a longer read asap

L_MC wrote 860 days ago

Hi Karyn, I've read the prologue and first four chapters and so far am thoroughly enjoying this.

That's an eye catching prologue, I liked her confusion, thinking she was in hospital in the opening chapters, Gideon has some nice touches (his steely indifference, the scar giving him a bad boy edge and the ability to comfort when he wants to). Vibiana is feisty but there is a vulnerability in the way Sabrina had picked on her and in losing Jesse.

Few places, including the line 'a few uncharitable acts she committed her last days on Earth' in the pitch that feel like there may be a word missing and in chapter four I think you mean voila but have written viola.

Some great moments, such as 'Bedazzled me a Brazilian' and 'Scabrina'.

Something jarred for me in the line, 'I needed a moment to get used to not being seen - and not the 'looking right through me as if I didn't exist' crap she used to pull on me but genuinely not being seen.'

I also really like the cover.

I'd read on so got me hooked in.

kiwigirl2011 wrote 870 days ago

Some funny writing here (bedazzled brazalian!)
There’s images or something in chapter two and three that aren’t showing (I don’t think they let them on here?)
Have read the first few chapters now and this is a fabulous book. Great sassy main character, intriguing and original plot line. I didn’t see any errors which I’m normally pretty good at spotting, there may be some but I was too caught up in the story!
An easy six stars from me :-)
Tammy Robinson

D. S. Hale wrote 871 days ago

Part three, which is labeled as "two" is just as good as the previous readings. As a matter of fact, it was fun the way Gideon built up the tension, then told Vibi who her assignment would be. I would rewrite the paragraph that begins "the over exposed, harshly...." because I couldn't figure out the entire paragraph. Maybe clarify what is going on, or scrap it for something better.

In the paragraph that begins "I huffed in frustration" you have "boys lunchbox" and it should be "boy's lunchbox"

I love the way you build up the tension. A person can't help but turn the pages to see what happens next. I really have compassion on her, what a choice---hell or her assignment, which already sounds like hell. Great job building the tension!

Donna

Warrick Mayes wrote 875 days ago

Yup, Fabulous!
I have only read 2 chapters, but I think this is first class.
I can find no fault. I love the name of the heroine, her sarcasm and attitude.
One for my watchlist and a high rating.

Best regards
Warrick

D. S. Hale wrote 876 days ago

This is a great read! It has everything---from the attention grabbing title, to the unique story line. I'm hooked! Great writing, too. This one should rise fast, and I will put it in my watchlist. I am also rating it a #6. The only thing I saw that so far that you might want to address is: (1) what is she wearing at the In-Take level? Is she still dressed in the thong, or is she dressed more decently? I was trying to figure out what she was wearing, and you gave no clues. I think that should be stated. Also, you use alot of curse words, which fit the character, just wonder if there is a way to tone the cursing down? Not sure how, but it's my two cents anyway.

Great job! I will definitely be reading more. I love the title!!!

ksmendo wrote 877 days ago

Thank you Pete! I appreciate that.
Karyn

Really good book. I am hooked and can't put it down.

Pete

peter timmins wrote 877 days ago

Really good book. I am hooked and can't put it down.

Pete

strachan gordon wrote 878 days ago

Hello Karyn , a quite arresting start , which manages to be both erotic and saddening at the same time and deeply embarassing . But the whole thing is very skillfully described and I sort of get the feeling you have been in one of these places before . Watchlisted and starred . Mendoza , I think , is a great name for an author. Would you be able to look at the first chapter of my novel ' A Buccaneer' , which is an historical/adventure/romance set amongst Pirates in the 17th century and includes lost love , the Great Plague of London , Sir Henry Morgan , the attack on Panama 1671 , a five handed duel , beautiful Spanish Ladies and much more , with best wishes from Strachan Gordon

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