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rank 5844
word count 15886
date submitted 29.11.2011
date updated 14.01.2012
genres: Non-fiction, Instructional, Christi...
classification: universal
incomplete

I Never Saw It Coming

Beth Davis

I always thought that drug addiction only happened to other people’s kids. I never dreamed it would happen to one of mine.

 

I want to let you know right up front that I’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist or any other “ist”. I’m just a mom who loves her kids and was devastated when one of them turned to drugs and eventually became a full blown drug addict.

Like any other mom, I wanted and still want the very best for my children. I’m also like a mama bear that protects her cubs, if one of them gets into trouble, I’ll do what I can to help them. In this case it was like taking on Goliath. It was a fight between a scared to death mama and a great big fearsome giant that was determined to destroy my child, but with God’s help, and many prayers, I was able to defeat that giant. God gave me victory over a problem that was much bigger than I was and the good news is that He’ll give you victory over your Goliath too!
You just need to know what God tells us that we are supposed to do, so you'll know how to get your prayers answered too.

 
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christian, drug addiction, faith, parents, prayer, prodigal son, rebellion

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How To Be Sure Your Prayers Are Answered

How To Be Sure Your Prayers Are Answered

 

God has promised to give us whatever we ask for, if we follow His guidelines, so I wanted to show you what His guidelines are.

 

 

1.     Prayer   

James 4:2 You do not have because you do not ask God.

Ephesians 6:18 Pray with all kinds of prayers and keep on praying.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

James 1:22 We must be doers of the Word, not just hearers.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.

John 14:13 Whatsoever you ask in My name, I will do it.

James 1:5 Ask God for wisdom

Luke 18:1 Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

 

One thing is sure, if you want answers to your prayers, then you have to pray!  I prayed many times every day!  God loves you and your child and He wants to help, but we have to ask!

   

Before you pray, you should check your motives and make sure you’re not asking for something for your own selfish gain (James 4:3). For example, rather than praying for your child to be freed from addiction to save yourself from what others may think if they found out, or because it’ll take your worries away; instead pray for your child to be freed from addiction and to save him/her from Satan’s destruction.

 

Pray something like this:

Lord I pray that You will help me in my prayers.  Your Word says that whatever I ask for in Jesus’ name it will be given to me, so believing that promise from you, I’m asking You to remove the veil from my child’s mind, remove Satan’s stronghold of addiction, fill them with self-control and the ability to fight against temptations and that You will open their heart to salvation. Father, give me the words to pray for my children, wisdom for my situation and knowledge of Your will for my life.  I pray that I will be kind and loving towards others and especially towards my children.  I ask that You will comfort me and take away the pain.  Please give me back my joy and fill me with Your peace in Jesus Name, amen.

1a. Pray together

Matthew 18:19 & 20 If two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for in prayer, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

Deuteronomy 32:30-31 How could one man chase a thousand, or two put ten thousand to flight. For their rock is not like our Rock, as even our enemies concede.

 

Find someone who will pray in agreement with you. My husband prayed with me every day. My preacher and our church staff prayed and one time, during practice, I asked the entire church choir to pray with me.  Don’t carry this burden by yourself.  Remember this: more prayer equals more power!   

 

1b. Pray for others

James 2:24 You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

James 2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

James 4:17 If anyone knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

James 5:13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray.

James 5:20 Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

James 5:16 The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

 

Deeds(prayers) + love =Righteousness. We show love by praying for those in need.

 

Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:38 that the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbors (others) as yourself.  One of the best ways to show our love for others is to pray for them.

 

Samuel considered it a sin against the Lord to fail to pray for the people (see 1 Samuel 12:23)

 

2.     Faith

Romans 10:17 Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

 

I read the Bible for hours each day, before I knew that it was the key to faith. Prayer is the key to Heaven but faith is what unlocks the doors to Heaven.  We have access to Heaven if we will just use the key!

 

Mark 9:23 ALL things are possible to him who believes.

 

Think of doubting the same as if we were telling God that He isn’t capable of helping, or that we can do it by ourselves.

 

Mark 11:24 Whatever you ask for, BELIEVE and then you will get it.

2 Corinthians 5:7  For we walk by faith and not by sight.

Lamentations 3:32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.

 

I think it’s interesting that James and Jude who are the half brothers of Jesus, both encourage others to keep their faith.  In fact, Jude even says that he was going to write about salvation, but he decided that he needed to write about faith instead.

 

The Bible tells us that God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask or hope for (Ephesians 3:20), so keep your eye on the prize (Philippians 3:14) and whatever you do, don’t give Satan your faith, because he’d love to take it from you!

  

Just think about how our planet came to be. God spoke it into existence, with just His word so I know He can heal us and help us, if we ask!  Nothing is too great for Him and nothing is too small to ask for.  I bet that all our problems seem small to Him anyway and yet He still expects us to ask Him for help.  Just like the demon possessed boy’s father asked Jesus for more faith, we also need to ask Jesus for more faith. 

 

Pray this prayer to help increase your faith:

Lord help my unbelief.  Give me a double portion of faith in Your ability and the assurance that nothing is impossible with you.  Help me to believe in your supernatural ability to answer my prayers even though they seem to be unattainable and beyond control.  Turn my doubt and fears into courage and confidence in You.  Help me to keep my eyes off my situation and give me hope and assurance in You in Jesus name, amen.

 

 

3.     Fasting

Mark 9:29 and Matthew 17:21 Jesus tells his disciples that certain spirits come out only by prayer and fasting.

 

I fasted for a week, the last time my son was in jail.  During which time he was divinely protected from danger.  If you have never fasted before, I urge you to give it a try.  The Bible tells us of some miraculous prayers that were answered after prayer and fasting.  If your health prevents you from going without food, then I suggest you find something that you can fast from.  God knows your heart and he understands if your health cannot withstand a true fast. Fasting is a sacrifice, so you should choose something that you really enjoy, such as coffee, television, dessert or cigarettes.  You get the idea, right? It should be something that you would normally feel like you just couldn’t do without and when the urge or the hunger pain hits you, that’s when you just bow your head and ask God to help you endure the temptation and pain.  Several times I have fasted from all solid foods; for three days I would make protein shakes with fruit & yogurt, but no “real” food.  I know that doesn’t sound like much of a sacrifice, but believe me, by the third day, my teeth were ready to chew something!

 

Pray this prayer:

Lord in Your Word Jesus tells us that we need to fast for certain prayers to be answered, so I am asking for Your help with fasting.  I pray that You’ll give me wisdom and discernment to help me to decide what to fast from and for how long.  Please help me to be faithful and give me the will power and self-control to endure a fast.  I pray that You’ll consider my fast as a sacrifice unto You, that I’ll find favor in Your sight and that my prayers will be answered in Jesus name, amen.

 

4.     Surrender

 

1 Peter 5:6-7 Be humble under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

Job 22:21 Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you.

 

This one was really hard for me because I kept trying to “fix” everything myself.  I would try to give it to God.  Every morning I would pray and let God have the problem and then by lunch time I would take my problem right back; again and again, day after day.  It was so difficult for me to draw the line between being a mother who still needed to discipline my 15 year old son and letting go, so God could have control over the situation.  In fact, I didn’t totally surrender to God until after my son was 18 and no longer under my authority.

 

This past week my own pastor was teaching on surrendering to God’s will and one thing that stood out was when he said “most of us want to do God’s will…but; and that some of us have some pretty big buts”  Which my 5 year old found to be hilarious!  It is funny, but so true!  We should all be asking ourselves “just how big is my but?”

 

When I finally “let go and let God”, I was filled with peace, joy and sleep!  We will always love our child but we need to leave him or her in God’s Hands.  I found that surrendering my son to God gave me a sense of total peace and emotional detachment, not towards my son, but towards the situation.  I still knew that he had a serious drug addiction that would only have gotten worse if God hadn’t intervened when He did. But with God’s help, I was able to completely let it go. 

 

This is one of the prayers that I prayed everyday:

Lord please help me to surrender my child and all my problems to You once and for all.  Give me patience to wait on Your timing and Your will for my child.  I pray that You will intervene and help me to be set free from the torment of my situation in Jesus Name, amen.

 

5.     Thanksgiving and Praise   

Philippians 4:6-7 In every circumstance with prayer and thanksgiving let your request be known to God and you’ll receive peace.

Psalm 100:4 Be thankful and say so

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 

The Bible says that it’s God’s will for us to give thanks in every circumstance and that includes the stormy ones.

 

I used to worry about my son overdosing and every day I was always grateful that he was still alive, so I would thank God for that.

 

I would pray:

Lord thank you that I have another day with my son and I thank You that You must surely have a purpose for this.  Your Word says that all things work together for good for those who love You, but I just can’t see how anything good can come of this, but I thank You for that promise. I found whatever I could to be thankful for AND SAID SO!

 

6.  Read God’s Word

James 1:25 But whoever looks intently into God’s perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Proverbs 1:28-33 tells us how important it is that we seek the knowledge that’s found in reading God’s word.

Proverbs 1:28 Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me,
 
Proverbs 1:29 Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the LORD.
 
Proverbs 1:30 Since they would not accept my advice

Proverbs 1:33 Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.

 

We must read God’s Word, if we want to be blessed. It’s truth (John 8:32) and it’s life! (John 6:63)

 

Colossians 1:10 Tells us that it’s pleasing to God to steadily grow and increase in the knowledge of God

Luke 11:28 Jesus replied, “Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

James 1:21 Get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

2 Peter 1:4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

 

Besides prayer, this is the only other part of God’s plan that came easy to me.  I was hungry for God’s Word and I knew the only place to find any answers to my problems would be in the Bible.  I read my Bible for hours every day.  It amazed me how much of what I was reading was actually sinking in.  I used to read the Bible and as soon as I put it down, I would have forgotten what I’d read.  So what I decided to do was to pray before  reading my Bible, I would pray for God’s wisdom and knowledge and to help me retain what I was reading and I highly recommend that you pray that same prayer before you read your Bible too.  God gave us His Word to help us and to give us guidance, so we can be assured that it’s His will for us to read and understand the Bible, so I know He will answer that prayer for you too.

 

If you struggle in this area you might pray this prayer:

Lord I pray that You will give me a desire to read your Word.  Please give me the self-control I need to stay focused.  I ask for wisdom and understanding as I read my Bible, in Jesus Name, amen.

 

7.  Tithes and Offerings

     I recently took a Bible study and one of the topics was about tithing and I was reminded how important it is to God.  I don’t think that most people realize the importance of tithing.  God’s word commands it and Jesus recommends it and in Malachi 3:8-10 God tells us to test him, to see how he will pour out a blessing on us for our obedience with our money.  The Bible even says that when you don’t bring your tithes into the storehouse (church) that you are robbing God!  Scary, huh? God isn’t someone that I want to steal from. It’s not really our money anyway, it all belongs to God.  He is generously allowing us to use the money that we acquired at our jobs that He provided us by using our gifts and talents that He gave us.  

 

What if someone had broken into your home and stolen your money and belongings, you wouldn’t be very apt to want to help them out after they get caught and need help paying for an attorney or even a good character witness, right?  But that’s what we do when we rob God of our tithes and offerings and then when we’re facing a “trial” we need His help to get us out of the mess we’re in.

 

I was thankfully already following this commandment when my storm hit, not even realizing that it was a requirement for me to be blessed.  We tithed because we knew that God expected it.  When you read how God pours out blessings on you, if you tithe, it sounds like He’s going to bless your finances and He will do that, but there are many other aspects of our lives that need blessings too, like our health, our marriages, our children or even our prayers to be answered.  Just think if your child was doing everything that you asked of them and they were trying their very best, wouldn’t you want to do all you could to bless them or help them out of a bad situation?  God is the same way; we are his children and He wants to help us too, but He also wants us do everything that He’s asked us to do and to try our very best to be obedient to Him.

The words tithes and offerings are mentioned in the Bible more than eleven hundred times, even more than prayer, so that tells me that they’re very important to God.

 

Pray this prayer:

Lord I pray that You will help me to be a cheerful and generous tither.  I pray that You’ll bless my offerings to help the needy and to bring glory to Your Kingdom and I ask that You will open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out a blessing on me and my family in Jesus Name, amen.

 

If you follow God’s directions not only will you notice your prayers beginning to be answered, but you will find peace of mind and you can sleep at night without worrying!

 

All of these principals can be found in the Bible and some of them I didn’t even realize that I needed to be doing to get my prayers answered like thanksgiving, reading my Bible and especially the tithing, but something inside me, probably the Holy Spirit, was leading me in each one of these areas and I was just desperate enough to be led.  

I can’t tell you how all these Bible principals work; I just know that they worked for me and since the Bible doesn’t teach us that God only answers prayers for some and not for others, then we must assume that they will work for you too.  I pray that you’ll give your problems to Jesus and let Him help you, because Jesus loves you; how do I know? Because the Bible tells me so!  

 

If you’re ever in doubt and wondering how to deal with your situation, why not do what Jesus did:

 

·        He prayed:

Luke 3:21; 5:16; 6:12; 9:18; 9:28; 11:1

John 17:1-26

 

·        He had faith:

Matthew 6:30; 8:5; 8:10; 8:26; 9:2; 21:21

Mark 2:5; 4:40; 5:34; 6:6; 11:22

Luke 5:20; 7:9; 7:50; 8:25; 8:48; 17:6; 18:8; 22;32

 

·        He fasted:

Matthew 4:2

Mark 9:29

 

·        He surrendered to God’s will:

Matthew 26:39

 

·        He praised God:

Matthew 11:25

 

·        He gave thanks to God:

Matthew 4:19; 5:36; 26:26-27

John 6:11; 6:23

 

·        He spoke God’s Word:

Matthew 4:4; 4:6; 4:7; 4:10

John 1:1

 

·        He gave offerings to God:

Mark 12:33

John 19:30

 

Chapters

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Lyn Ventura wrote 120 days ago

Hi Beth,

Thank you for sharing your story. There are so many who can relate to it, having dealt with a family memeber who suffered with addiction, I am one of those people. I think the great message of your book is teaching others that we can't change the addicted..only God can. All we can do is love them and look at ourselves, our response to that person and our walk with God. Your love for your son is quite evident, as is your love for God. I liked how you talked about idols. Dealing with addiction can become so consuming that that person can easily become the focus of your life, thus an idol. The Lord always comes first as your book clearly directs. Best wishes for your son's sobriety and his new life in Christ. Many blessings to you, a mom with a godly servant's heart. Many stars!!

Lyn Ventura
"With All My Mind"

superostah wrote 126 days ago

It becomes immediately apparent how much you care for the well-being of your son through your writing. The fact that you are not content with placing the blame for his actions entirely on him definitely help in showing that, but almost every word here in the first chapter reads as from someone who can't get their mind off of their kid. As a new father, I can definitely sympathize. . . although I really hope my three year old isn't getting into quite the same trouble.
The connection to the prodigal son is an important one, if not in understanding your son's actions, to understanding where you were as a parent at this point in time. You were willing to bring the kid back into your loving arms, no questions asked, just to have him back and to love him. Fattened calf was always ready on the table, I'm sure.
This is heartbreaking, but I feel that I'll need to read more. I'm adding you to my watchlist. High stars!

Lara wrote 167 days ago

Many readers will connect with this sad but meaningful story. It speaks for our time. Well done for courageous writing. Lara
A RELATIVE INVASION

DaisyFitz wrote 400 days ago

What a heartbreaking and warming story. I have a three year-old and it terrifies me how easy this can happen to our children.
Much love

Cx

Mark Cain wrote 509 days ago

Beth, Now I know why you didn't like the idea of babies (innocents) in Hell.

This is a moving story, but difficult for me to read. You can probably figure out why.

I have given you high stars. Congratulations on telling a story with heart.

Mark

revodell wrote 512 days ago

Beth, Thank you for the candid picture of your process. It is amazing how resilient we all are.

Donald
Life Discovery

coCinstrumental wrote 531 days ago

Hey, I like how you didn't say as a part of rebelling he let hsi hair grow to a certain length. It's so annoying when ppl say guys with ear to shoulder length hair have it that length to be rebellious or when they say that's long hair. Especially wiwhen they call hair from above ears to earlobe length long or hair from upper to mid neck long. not all guys have long hair to be rebellious anyway. I think your first chapter should be a Prelude, then go on about his life, unless this is a work of fiction. "i didn't see it coming" reminded me of POD's "Youth of the Nation". Please check out my book about a school shooting called "The Show is On". It's the second book in my series, so you can choose to read or not to read "Crowded" first. "Crowded" is published on Kindle. I have the link in my profile description. Thanks.

Kady Colter wrote 537 days ago

Beth,

What heartfelt writing - pouring out your soul to God for your son. We need more books like this. Thanks for sharing that. I think this will be a great book targeted nonfiction for the Christian market but one thing you said about praying and God will answer your prayers. I do believe God answers prayers, but not all.

And we don't know why, we just have to trust his will and reasons for not answering some prayers. A friend just died, and we were all praying she would live. Another guy I know prayed when he was ten that God would let his grandmother live, and she died. He became an atheist.

I think that non-believers and believers would have a problem with that, so perhaps you could address that in your book. I'd like to see you broaden that subject and go deeper as to why God doesn't answer all with an affirmative.

Thanks for your loving spirit. I'm starring you high. If you get a chance please read Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac which has a POV from 2 teens. Since you were mom of a boy, you should have some insight.

Thanks!
Kady

Kady Colter wrote 537 days ago

Beth,
Finished chapter two - pig pen should be with an "e"

Whoah, you're going through alot, will keep reading! ~Kady Colter

Kady Colter wrote 537 days ago

Hi Beth,

On first chapter, will keep reading but making this note before I forget. ~Kady Colter Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac

First paragraph: Cap David Jeremiah's book title

Lcamp wrote 538 days ago

Thank-you Beth for sharing your story. Word for word I lived the same thing with my youngest son. The greatest thing that can come out of this dark time is our testimonies of coming through it. Obviously you can see why I had an interest to read the whole story, and also, because I have been a Christian for many years, I appreciated and understood all the scripture content. But my suggestion to you would be to give the whole story first before so much content of scripture and commentary. It was easy to get lost out of the story in the beginning because there was so much scripture to wade through. You don't want to lose the non-christian reader who picked up the book for the story's sake, because they will put it down. Let people who identify with your story get caught up in your story first, then let them get hungry for an answer as they read. At the end, while you are sharing the triump of coming through it, interweave the neccesarry scripture and then draw them back to the different time zones that the scripture relate to. As they become fully convinced you have an answer they don't have, they will be anxious to read on. Finish the book with the heavy scritures and commentary material. At that point your reader will absorb the message and the point you are really trying to get across.
I like Non-fiction, Christian stories, that's what first attracted me to your book. I also have uploaded a Non-fiction, Christian story you may enjoy, it's titled "The Chair" Please check it out and give me comment. Stay Blessed!

Tom Bye wrote 538 days ago

Hello Beth-

book- i never saw it coming-

After reading all six chapters posted, i feel oh so sad for this trying life you had, how heart-breaking it must be
to have a son on drugs and a prison record also because of the same drug addiction--
On brighter book, your faith in God shines through your writing, and hopefully its catching for other readers.

for it;s target market , Christian non-fiction-there is a big market out there and it should do well,
i found the readings from the bible very informative-

tom bye
book- from hugs to kisses-
i think you might like chapters- 16-18-19-23-in mine- please glance and comment and star- thanks Beth

AudreyB wrote 538 days ago

Wow, Beth, that was some roller coaster ride. My own mother struggled for many years with a drug-addicted son and could have benefitted from a book such as yours.

I like that you note how addictive marijuana is today. Many parents assume weed is the same as it was in the Seventies or Eighties. It's not the same. It's as much as twenty times more powerful!! And you also note his use of prescription drugs--also more common today than we adults remember. Many kids make a fortune selling their Adderall.

The only thing I have to say is that we'd like to see more. What stories can you give us about your son before the drugs? And during? And after? You tell us about what happened, which is effective--but even more effective would be a scene where we hear his words and yours in return. These scenes would bring the reader into your home and into your despair in a way that this narration cannot.

Best wishes to you!!
~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Warrick Mayes wrote 541 days ago

Beth,

I liked the honest and simple approach that you have taken to writing.
I do feel that the volume of biblical references is too heavy, but there might be others who like this. If you're a bible reader, you're more likely to be interested in these references, but also less likely to need them. If you're the opposite, you are more likely to be put off by all these references (me!).
I think that you have a story that could stand up on its own. You do also make reference to God throughout your story, so everyone will know the point you are making. Why not let the religious angle be less prominant, more subtle - you might win more people over.

Best regards
Warrick

Dianna Lanser wrote 541 days ago

Beth,

Your writing is honest and straightforward. This is an easy to swallow book, which it needs to be. Most people who will pick this up will be looking for some hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. And your book does exactly that, right away in chapter two. My friend calls them glory bumps, but most people call them goose bumps - that’s what I got when I read the Holy Spirit worked in your son’s life to change it! I am so, so very happy He did. J

Beth, I love that you give practical ways to deal with the “storm” - prayer, fasting, praise, giving… This is so very helpful, especially to those who are in the “middle of it” right now. They need the truthful answers fast!

Thanks too for sharing your struggle and insight as you rode that emotional rollercoaster - Enabling, denial, realization, humiliation, depression and fear, shock, anger, and finally surrender. The scripture references give your book backbone and the foundation on which you make your truthful claims. I can so relate to the James passages you shared in chapter one. When I was a freshman in college, my dad died and then two years later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and then I found myself having to break off a marriage engagement. This all happened when I moved away to a strange city where I didn’t know a single soul. God became my best friend and I memorized every word of James chapter one. I can still quote it today, twenty-five years later. The heroine in my book memorizes it too!

Without a doubt, your openness and humility is what will sell this book, and of course, your writing ability… Because you have made yourself fully vulnerable, your witness is entirely believable. May God bless the good thing you are doing. Beth. Six stars! And a promised backing (I just put some new books on my shelf this morning, so I’m going to let them ride there for a few days)

Sincerely,
Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

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