Book Jacket

 

rank 5842
word count 15886
date submitted 29.11.2011
date updated 14.01.2012
genres: Non-fiction, Instructional, Christi...
classification: universal
incomplete

I Never Saw It Coming

Beth Davis

I always thought that drug addiction only happened to other people’s kids. I never dreamed it would happen to one of mine.

 

I want to let you know right up front that I’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist or any other “ist”. I’m just a mom who loves her kids and was devastated when one of them turned to drugs and eventually became a full blown drug addict.

Like any other mom, I wanted and still want the very best for my children. I’m also like a mama bear that protects her cubs, if one of them gets into trouble, I’ll do what I can to help them. In this case it was like taking on Goliath. It was a fight between a scared to death mama and a great big fearsome giant that was determined to destroy my child, but with God’s help, and many prayers, I was able to defeat that giant. God gave me victory over a problem that was much bigger than I was and the good news is that He’ll give you victory over your Goliath too!
You just need to know what God tells us that we are supposed to do, so you'll know how to get your prayers answered too.

 
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christian, drug addiction, faith, parents, prayer, prodigal son, rebellion

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Chapters

6

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Things That Hinder Our Prayers

Things That Hinder Our Prayers

 

Unfortunately I used to do most of these, but the Bible teaches against them, so I urge you to stop doing any of these prayer blockers.  It’s like any other bad habit that you need to quit and it may take a while to overcome them, so pray for God to help you in any of these areas.

 

 

1.     Complaining

Numbers 11:1 God heard them grumbling about their hardships, which was evil to His ears and His anger burned greatly.

 

Numbers 14:27 How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who complain against Me?

 

I was depressed probably because I was constantly thinking or talking about my problem. Complaining and griping about my son’s addiction and rebellious behavior was so hard for me to overcome!  Did you know this is part of the reason the Israelites stayed in the wilderness 40 years? God hates complaining, so you can see how important it is to seek help in this area, right?

 

I knew I had to stop, but it had become a habit.  I’ve learned that complaining is known as a stronghold that Satan uses against us to keep us in a state of constant worry and defeat.  If we are always focused on our problems then we’re not focused on God.

 

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 1:26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

James 3:9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  

James 3:10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

2 Timothy 2:16 Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

 

2.     Blaming others

Genesis 3:12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.

Genesis 3:13 The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

 

Fault finding has been around since the beginning.  Eve blamed the serpent and then Adam blamed Eve.

 

James 5:9 Do not grumble against one another, lest you be condemned.

Jude 1:16 These people are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage.

 

It’s human nature to blame others, but the Bible says, don’t!

 

I blamed everyone I could think of, his dad, myself and especially the dealer and his manager who introduced him to drugs in the first place. I actually called my ex-husband once and told him that I thought our son’s addiction came from his side of the family. But I’ve learned that the only person to blame was my son, he chose this path, not me, or anyone else.

 

Did you know that blaming others is a form of pride? Because it excuses us of our own bad behavior, if it’s someone else’s fault. Ask God to help you to overcome the urge to blame others.

 

 

3.     Unforgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

 

After Job endured the judgments and criticisms of his “friends”, he forgave them and prayed for them and when he prayed for them, God restored his fortunes, his health and all that he had.  He even received double when he prayed for his enemies (Job 42:10).

 

1 John 4:20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

James 3:14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.  

James 3:15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.  

James 3:16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

 

You must forgive everyone, including any family members that may be enablers. Forgiving the dealer that first introduced him to drugs was extremely hard for me, but when I did, I was filled with an inner peace that I cannot describe, even while my son was still a complete mess, here I was with this great sense of peace!

 

4.     Worry

 

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you.

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.   

2 Peter 3:14 Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in PEACE, without spot and blameless.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

James 3:18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

1 Corinthians 7:15 God has called us to live in peace.

 

Peace is another awesome fruit of the spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23.  Ask God to fill you with it because when He comes back, He expects to find you living in peace!

 

5.     Living in sin

Keep in mind that just because you’re a Christian and you go to church, that doesn’t mean that you’re immune to sin, in fact you’re just as susceptible as an unbeliever and sometimes even more so, because godly people become more of a threat to Satan.  In the past, I’ve considered temptations and trials as a compliment because I know I must be on Satan’s hit list or he wouldn’t be bothering me.

 

Isaiah 59: 1-2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear.

John 8:34 Jesus answered them, I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Whoever commits and practices sin is the slave of sin.

1 Peter 1:14-16 do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.

2 Corinthians 7:1 Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

1 John 3:4 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness.

1 John 3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin   has either seen him or known him.

1 Thessalonians 4:7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

 

We all fall short (Romans 3:23).  Sin in any amount will distance us from God.  We lose our tempers, or maybe tell a lie, or even say something unkind about someone else and usually the Holy Spirit will immediately convict us. Most of us ask for God’s forgiveness and try to do better next time, but what about those who blatantly, deliberately and habitually live a sinful lifestyle which they know to be wrong before they do it, but then choose to forge ahead anyway?  This is known as iniquity and transgressions against God.

 

A transgression or iniquity against God is sin. Habitual sins always start with the temptation and then the decision. Some examples of habitual sin are pornography, alcohol, smoking, drugs, fornication, homosexuality, adultery and gambling.

 

Satan is a master of deception and is always behind temptation.  This is where we need to pray, quote scripture or sing a song of praise, if you can’t think of one, then just sing Jesus loves me out loud, (remember, Satan trembles at His name) that’s how to resist Satan and his temptations; and then he’ll flee and take his temptations with him.

 

Habitual sins are just that-a habit! They can be really bad habits, but still habits. It’s hard work to break a habit.  Have you ever tried to stop biting your nails or stop smoking?  It’s hard to do, but with determination and hard work, you can do it.

One bad habit I can think of is to sit in front of a television all day.  What a waste of valuable time!  Remember the meaning of the word Prodigal that we discussed earlier?  It means to be wasteful.  How can we expect God to answer our prayers if we are more concerned with sports, soaps or what Hollywood is doing than to give Him the time He deserves?  To see results, you must turn off the television; consider it a fast, and read the Bible, listen to Christian music and pray, pray, pray.

 

1 Thessalonians 3:13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.

 

6.     Grieving the Holy Spirit

Ephesians 4:30-31 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by getting rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, quarreling and slander, along with every form of malice (hate).

Galatians 5:19-21 Those who practice immorality impurity, indecency, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, divisions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Acts 7:51 You stubborn and stiff-necked people, still heathen and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you are always actively resisting the Holy Spirit.
Mark 3:28-29 People can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin.”

John 14:17 The Spirit of truth the world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him.

John’s saying that worldly sinners despise the Holy Ghost, because they do not see him or know him.  They blaspheme the Holy Ghost, and thus says the Lord: "There is no forgiveness, either in this world nor in the world which is to come."

Isaiah 63:10 Yet they rebelled and grieved his Holy Spirit. So he turned and became their enemy and he himself fought against them.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

Romans 8:27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

 Revelation 3: 22 Those who have ears should listen to what the Holy Spirit says.

 

The Holy Spirit is our helper and we need him to help us pray, so be careful that you do not grieve Him!  It’s no wonder I stayed in the “wilderness” so long! I was bitter, angry, and jealous of parents with “good” kids. Praise God I have learned to stop thinking the way Satan would have me think! If you’re still thinking that way, you have to stop it today! First: Ask for forgiveness and then ask God to help you to stop, because we can’t change ourselves without God’s help.

 

Trust and obey is such a great but simple hymn!  It says Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey and that’s exactly what the Bible tells us, if we trust and obey, we will be filled with peace and happiness that passes all understanding. (see Philippians 4:6-7)

 

1 Samuel 12:15  But if you do not obey the LORD, and if you rebel against his commands, his hand will be against you.

 

Can you remember ever putting your children in time out for bad behavior? God probably wants to put some of us in time-out for our bad behavior too!  The only problem is that we’re in a battle with the enemy and we can’t afford to be put in time-out.  So I urge you to be on your best behavior.  Remember God blesses obedience; and who couldn’t use some of God’s blessings in their life?

 

 

Chapters

6

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Lyn Ventura wrote 119 days ago

Hi Beth,

Thank you for sharing your story. There are so many who can relate to it, having dealt with a family memeber who suffered with addiction, I am one of those people. I think the great message of your book is teaching others that we can't change the addicted..only God can. All we can do is love them and look at ourselves, our response to that person and our walk with God. Your love for your son is quite evident, as is your love for God. I liked how you talked about idols. Dealing with addiction can become so consuming that that person can easily become the focus of your life, thus an idol. The Lord always comes first as your book clearly directs. Best wishes for your son's sobriety and his new life in Christ. Many blessings to you, a mom with a godly servant's heart. Many stars!!

Lyn Ventura
"With All My Mind"

superostah wrote 125 days ago

It becomes immediately apparent how much you care for the well-being of your son through your writing. The fact that you are not content with placing the blame for his actions entirely on him definitely help in showing that, but almost every word here in the first chapter reads as from someone who can't get their mind off of their kid. As a new father, I can definitely sympathize. . . although I really hope my three year old isn't getting into quite the same trouble.
The connection to the prodigal son is an important one, if not in understanding your son's actions, to understanding where you were as a parent at this point in time. You were willing to bring the kid back into your loving arms, no questions asked, just to have him back and to love him. Fattened calf was always ready on the table, I'm sure.
This is heartbreaking, but I feel that I'll need to read more. I'm adding you to my watchlist. High stars!

Lara wrote 166 days ago

Many readers will connect with this sad but meaningful story. It speaks for our time. Well done for courageous writing. Lara
A RELATIVE INVASION

DaisyFitz wrote 399 days ago

What a heartbreaking and warming story. I have a three year-old and it terrifies me how easy this can happen to our children.
Much love

Cx

Mark Cain wrote 508 days ago

Beth, Now I know why you didn't like the idea of babies (innocents) in Hell.

This is a moving story, but difficult for me to read. You can probably figure out why.

I have given you high stars. Congratulations on telling a story with heart.

Mark

revodell wrote 511 days ago

Beth, Thank you for the candid picture of your process. It is amazing how resilient we all are.

Donald
Life Discovery

coCinstrumental wrote 530 days ago

Hey, I like how you didn't say as a part of rebelling he let hsi hair grow to a certain length. It's so annoying when ppl say guys with ear to shoulder length hair have it that length to be rebellious or when they say that's long hair. Especially wiwhen they call hair from above ears to earlobe length long or hair from upper to mid neck long. not all guys have long hair to be rebellious anyway. I think your first chapter should be a Prelude, then go on about his life, unless this is a work of fiction. "i didn't see it coming" reminded me of POD's "Youth of the Nation". Please check out my book about a school shooting called "The Show is On". It's the second book in my series, so you can choose to read or not to read "Crowded" first. "Crowded" is published on Kindle. I have the link in my profile description. Thanks.

Kady Colter wrote 535 days ago

Beth,

What heartfelt writing - pouring out your soul to God for your son. We need more books like this. Thanks for sharing that. I think this will be a great book targeted nonfiction for the Christian market but one thing you said about praying and God will answer your prayers. I do believe God answers prayers, but not all.

And we don't know why, we just have to trust his will and reasons for not answering some prayers. A friend just died, and we were all praying she would live. Another guy I know prayed when he was ten that God would let his grandmother live, and she died. He became an atheist.

I think that non-believers and believers would have a problem with that, so perhaps you could address that in your book. I'd like to see you broaden that subject and go deeper as to why God doesn't answer all with an affirmative.

Thanks for your loving spirit. I'm starring you high. If you get a chance please read Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac which has a POV from 2 teens. Since you were mom of a boy, you should have some insight.

Thanks!
Kady

Kady Colter wrote 535 days ago

Beth,
Finished chapter two - pig pen should be with an "e"

Whoah, you're going through alot, will keep reading! ~Kady Colter

Kady Colter wrote 535 days ago

Hi Beth,

On first chapter, will keep reading but making this note before I forget. ~Kady Colter Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac

First paragraph: Cap David Jeremiah's book title

Lcamp wrote 536 days ago

Thank-you Beth for sharing your story. Word for word I lived the same thing with my youngest son. The greatest thing that can come out of this dark time is our testimonies of coming through it. Obviously you can see why I had an interest to read the whole story, and also, because I have been a Christian for many years, I appreciated and understood all the scripture content. But my suggestion to you would be to give the whole story first before so much content of scripture and commentary. It was easy to get lost out of the story in the beginning because there was so much scripture to wade through. You don't want to lose the non-christian reader who picked up the book for the story's sake, because they will put it down. Let people who identify with your story get caught up in your story first, then let them get hungry for an answer as they read. At the end, while you are sharing the triump of coming through it, interweave the neccesarry scripture and then draw them back to the different time zones that the scripture relate to. As they become fully convinced you have an answer they don't have, they will be anxious to read on. Finish the book with the heavy scritures and commentary material. At that point your reader will absorb the message and the point you are really trying to get across.
I like Non-fiction, Christian stories, that's what first attracted me to your book. I also have uploaded a Non-fiction, Christian story you may enjoy, it's titled "The Chair" Please check it out and give me comment. Stay Blessed!

Tom Bye wrote 537 days ago

Hello Beth-

book- i never saw it coming-

After reading all six chapters posted, i feel oh so sad for this trying life you had, how heart-breaking it must be
to have a son on drugs and a prison record also because of the same drug addiction--
On brighter book, your faith in God shines through your writing, and hopefully its catching for other readers.

for it;s target market , Christian non-fiction-there is a big market out there and it should do well,
i found the readings from the bible very informative-

tom bye
book- from hugs to kisses-
i think you might like chapters- 16-18-19-23-in mine- please glance and comment and star- thanks Beth

AudreyB wrote 537 days ago

Wow, Beth, that was some roller coaster ride. My own mother struggled for many years with a drug-addicted son and could have benefitted from a book such as yours.

I like that you note how addictive marijuana is today. Many parents assume weed is the same as it was in the Seventies or Eighties. It's not the same. It's as much as twenty times more powerful!! And you also note his use of prescription drugs--also more common today than we adults remember. Many kids make a fortune selling their Adderall.

The only thing I have to say is that we'd like to see more. What stories can you give us about your son before the drugs? And during? And after? You tell us about what happened, which is effective--but even more effective would be a scene where we hear his words and yours in return. These scenes would bring the reader into your home and into your despair in a way that this narration cannot.

Best wishes to you!!
~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Warrick Mayes wrote 540 days ago

Beth,

I liked the honest and simple approach that you have taken to writing.
I do feel that the volume of biblical references is too heavy, but there might be others who like this. If you're a bible reader, you're more likely to be interested in these references, but also less likely to need them. If you're the opposite, you are more likely to be put off by all these references (me!).
I think that you have a story that could stand up on its own. You do also make reference to God throughout your story, so everyone will know the point you are making. Why not let the religious angle be less prominant, more subtle - you might win more people over.

Best regards
Warrick

Dianna Lanser wrote 540 days ago

Beth,

Your writing is honest and straightforward. This is an easy to swallow book, which it needs to be. Most people who will pick this up will be looking for some hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. And your book does exactly that, right away in chapter two. My friend calls them glory bumps, but most people call them goose bumps - that’s what I got when I read the Holy Spirit worked in your son’s life to change it! I am so, so very happy He did. J

Beth, I love that you give practical ways to deal with the “storm” - prayer, fasting, praise, giving… This is so very helpful, especially to those who are in the “middle of it” right now. They need the truthful answers fast!

Thanks too for sharing your struggle and insight as you rode that emotional rollercoaster - Enabling, denial, realization, humiliation, depression and fear, shock, anger, and finally surrender. The scripture references give your book backbone and the foundation on which you make your truthful claims. I can so relate to the James passages you shared in chapter one. When I was a freshman in college, my dad died and then two years later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and then I found myself having to break off a marriage engagement. This all happened when I moved away to a strange city where I didn’t know a single soul. God became my best friend and I memorized every word of James chapter one. I can still quote it today, twenty-five years later. The heroine in my book memorizes it too!

Without a doubt, your openness and humility is what will sell this book, and of course, your writing ability… Because you have made yourself fully vulnerable, your witness is entirely believable. May God bless the good thing you are doing. Beth. Six stars! And a promised backing (I just put some new books on my shelf this morning, so I’m going to let them ride there for a few days)

Sincerely,
Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

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