Book Jacket

 

rank 5873
word count 105511
date submitted 06.12.2011
date updated 08.12.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Popular Culture,...
classification: moderate
complete

Fool's Dilemma

Carl Anders

There are plenty of skeletons in Detective Jim Byrne’s closet, but with the death of his underworld nemesis, those skeletons are about to start walking.

 

The funeral of Dublin crime boss Thomas Dent should have been the end to all of Jim’s woes, but nothing ever works out that easy in Jim’s life. In a matter of days Jim goes from investigating the savage murder of a young girl to being the unwitting fulcrum of the impending turf war over who controls Dublin’s crime.

Faced with either putting his career into a tailspin, forfeiting the few friends he has, being directly responsible for the murder and torture of others or opting for the old reliables of self pity and self preservation; what real choice does Jim have?

 
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tags

crime, detective, dublin, ireland, irish, murder

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I dont know why I came, dont know why I go to these. Its pissing down and freezing. I havent decided whether to go to the burial, but probably will, we always do. Thomas Dent is dead. Thank God say we. Thank God says every person and every family affected by his decades as Dublin's main crime lord.

Outside the church, a couple of photographers and Niall Healy from the Evening Journal tried to get me to stop and give a comment. Modern science is a wonderful thing and Im often more than amazed at how science not only managed to mould a mound of shite into a humanoid structure just under six foot, but also managed to clothe it, equip it with a pad and pen and get it a job at the leading evening newspaper. I politely declined the offer. Polite means sticking with the second word of a well-known phrase, off and being at liberty to choose what precedes it.

On entering, I tried to sit at the back, but there was no room, the place was packed out with faces that would, and do fill mug shot books. So I had to sit near the front causing some uneasy stares and minor threats from those around me. As only a member of the Garda Síochána could. Though there was no reaction from the grieving sons of Thomas, Danny and Liam. Not even a flicker of recognition.

Funny the respect we show at these things, six vans probably wouldnt be enough to pick up all the bail skips and outstanding warrants seated here, but even we have standards, sometimes. My standards and tastes though tend not to cover the parade of numerous black limousines that followed the hearse, and certainly not the garish display that has kept the local florist in business for a year. Various declarations of Tommy, Dad and even a floral pint of Guinness are strewn around the back of the hearse. Whats that thing that money cant buy you? Im half surprised there wasnt a horse drawn carriage and a lone piper.

Apart from the numerous people around me modelling the latest designs in sports wear, theres an old lady in a head scarf and blue trench coat. Im not sure she even knows the family, more likely shes been scouring the announcements in the Journal and decided this is a good way to spend a cold and wet Saturday afternoon in January. She turns to me with a non-too-sympathetic look or one that recognises a fellow curious outsider like herself.

They always come in threes. She said.

What do?

Funerals, they always come in threes. Or so they say.

Right. Does that just include me or the other two hundred people also sat here? I mean If were all going to suddenly witness three deaths, thats six hundred funerals just us sat here can expect in the next few weeks, or whatever time period youre attaching to this superstition. Is what I should have said, instead it came out something like a noncommittal Meh. She still turned around in disgust.

In the front row sit the family, his widow and his two sons along with his remaining siblings. Father Eoin has just said Thomas was a loveable rogue. Maybe. He was a pleasant enough man to talk to and he did look after his family. So yeah, maybe he was loveable. Definition of rogue though has been stretched. Poetic licence, especially seeing as there are at least fifteen murders still open on my desk linked to him, plus the other five we definitely know was him but just havent been able to get any people to come forward on. What about loveable evil shit? Probably a good idea Im not a speech-writer then. God seems an ok guy though and I should get to know him better. Father Eoin reckons Thomas is going to heaven, Thomas is only a loveable rogue, so who knows what it takes to be an evil bastard in this Gods eyes, but at least it gives me hope.

There was a buzzing coming from my coat pocket. Id put the phone on silent before coming into the church, but had forgotten it vibrated and it was now drumming off my house keys. Apart from general tutting around me (though they never even raised an eyebrow when several beeps and high pitch versions of dance songs went off previously)I keep forgetting Im different. Anyway, their tuts become even more venomous when I had to squeeze past whilst they were all kneeling in prayer to take the call.

 Jim Byrne. I said.

 

 

 

What? I try to yell, but with some respect and as quiet as I can be outside, though Im not sure why. There was certainly no respect for Dent, but then churches of any denomination always make me feel like a guilty eight year old. The despatch back at The National Bureau of Criminal Investigation was not only hard to hear due to the weather, but also appeared to be talking some form of nonsense.

Theres a guy in hospital, we need someone to interview him. He, well, hes freaked the nurses out a bit and he wants to give a statement to us. And, well Jim, youre down as being on call.

Im always on call. Send a uniform down.

We did and they reckon we need a Detective down there.

So heres the choice, freeze my bollocks off while they finally put that bastard in a big hole in the ground (rather than send a bouquet Id toyed with the idea of sending several tonnes of concrete just to make sure he was properly buried), or go along to Beaumont A&E and interview some drugged up nut whos decided to scare the Nurses. Depressing it may be, but at least Beaumont will be warm.

 

 

 

Sure I have warmth but at what cost? Im sat next to a radiator with my back now resembling crispy duck and the rest of me drenched in sweat. Id have been more comfortable at the graveyard. The guy in question seems to have played a good card, as by pretending hes nuts, hes bypassed the two day wait in a trolley on the corridors and has managed to find an actual bed in an actual ward. However, I have to sit here in the waiting room with all these serious casualties with their sprained thumbs and sniffles that just couldnt wait or heaven forbid they just get over it. Eventually a nurse comes down to take me to the ward.

I could have gone myself, but I always get lost and end up walking in on the maternity ward at feeding time or the old lady ward at bed bath time.

 

We find him and hes got a room to himself and hes sleeping. I bring the chair to his bedside loudly enough so that he soon awakes.

Uh…”

Detective Jim Byrne, you have a statement you wish to make sir.

Uh, yeah, just let me get some water.

I pass him the glass of water that felt hotter than the room and seemed to have all the purity as if it had come direct from the Ganges via the bladder of a dead goat.

"What's your name son?"

Thanks. Peter Lyons. Ok, well I told the guard here earlier what happened, but he didnt seem to think it was his area.

No offence sir, but if its a case that might involve some work, I should tell you that its a pretty packed afternoon of sporting fixtures this afternoon and so hes probably reluctant to take on much that may involve missing any of the matches. It doesnt necessarily mean what you have to say is that special, just he knows I dont like football or rugby.

Erm, thanks.  You always this blunt?

About eighty percent of the time. Other twenty Im just obnoxious.

 Fine, I wont keep you. Not much to say really, not too sure why Im here. I mean in this room. I just blacked out in the Eddie Rockets, and well next thing Im here.

No sir, thats all right. See we investigate every case of lost consciousness, especially ones involving a chain of faux American Diners. That happens to be my speciality in the guards.

This is the other twenty percent right? Yeah I blacked out, but its more what happened after, or during, I dont know. I never asked for the gardai, just that the nurse check with them. I think I saw something and just wanted it checking.

He sat up at this point. Its amazing how even up close someone lying in their most vulnerable position (their favourite sleeping position) can appear so different. He was a young (about twenty two Id say) tall guy, probably good looking, not that Id be a judge of that, he just carried an air of being good looking and knowing it. Which, all in all, isnt bad for someone whos passed out in a diner, been passed off as mad in a hospital and been woken up by a grumpy detective.

Why dont we just begin at the beginning?

I live around Phibsourough and had gone out to Eddie Rockets because I hadnt eaten for a day. Im an artist, it can happen when on a roll, you try to get it all out before you hit a block again. Anyway I had fries and a chilli burger and I was almost finished when this girl passed. As she passed someone else was coming the other way and she stopped near me to let them pass, as she did, she hit off my shoulder. Then it all went weird.

Weird? Im afraid to say that unfortunately weird isnt a specific legal term at this moment in time.

Weird as in why Im here.

You fainted.

Blacked out. No. Look. When she hit me, I think I passed out, but before that I saw her. Not there, not then, but it was her. She was dead or dying. I wasI mean someone was stabbing very slowly. It was me, or I was seeing through their eyes. It was like I had all the time in the world just smiling at her like itll all be ok and over with very soon. She was there, naked and she was being killed with a knife. When the slashing had stopped I could just see her naked. Naked and dead. There was blood everywhere, I could smell and taste it.

But through all that, she was looking at me, and I could see her face. THEN I blacked out.

So you had a bad dream and then passed out? Maybe the chili was off.

Ive been here before. Bloody psychics. So many times weve been working every hour to solve a case. Chased every lead, searched every area, spoken to every possible person we can only for some dear old lady to come forward and claim the spirits can tell her where the body is. Naturally we consider everything in the investigation, wed be slated for not doing. So this old dear with her open channel to the spirit world manages after an hour to come up with the vaguest information possible.

In the end we have a list of points telling us that the body is to be found in some woods, off the main walkway and there may be water nearby. Well feck me! Shes solved it, now we just have to track down a wooded area with a walkway and water nearbyoh wait thats all of them in the fecking country. Cheers.

So what happens then is we continue to work our bollix off and eventually through pure slog and some even greater pure luck we find the body. Yes it was in some woodland, Ill accept that, but then outside of leaving them in the street or a house for us to find in a few hours, where else is someone going to hide a body? Thats right, the woods. And would you leave it on the walkway, erm no someone will see you, so you take it off. And lets face it, this is Ireland, its wet. Try being more than three feet away from water of some kind at any one point in time. Then what happens? Do we get credit by anyone for our work? No. All of a sudden this dear old lady sells her story of how she helped us solve it and were made to look like incompetent fools who should employee these cranks on a full time basis.

So forgive me if I am being a bit short with this kid. Any possible humour that there might have been in his face has now disappeared.

Detective, Ive told this tale three times now, and yes everyone has been the same in their response. All I asked was if there has been any incidents or bodies found. The vision, or whatever, freaked me out and I just wanted to make sure it was bad chili, or the fact that Im knackered. I never asked for you.

Sure, look Im sorry. But weve all had bad dreams, weve all dreamt of family members, car crashes, plane crashes and woken up expecting something to be on the news or a phone call and it never happens. It happens all the time. What time did this happen?

I went there about four oclock, I think the ambulance came at half four or so.

And thats it, the extent to my Saturday so far, one funeral, one sauna like packed hospital and one guy who passes out due to hunger and tiredness and thinks hes the next Nostradamus. I left him to his sleep and made for the exit. As I got outside the furnace of the hospital and was hit by arctic conditions, I throw my notes of the conversation in the bin on the way out.

 

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Su Dan wrote 557 days ago

a true and honest piece===original style. you take us on the journey with great skill and keep us interested...
backed...
read SEASONS...

Warrick Mayes wrote 559 days ago

Carl,

A most interesting and delightful read.
I love the main character, his grumpy and resentful manner and the way he tells the story.

There is also plenty of humour, dry and gritty.

I did find one small error: "...who should employee these cranks on a full time basis." I think you meant "employ" rather than "employee", but very difficult to spot when you have to read it back.

This will get a high rating from me, and go on my watch-list

Best regards
Warrick

Sheilab wrote 559 days ago

Hi Carl
Comments so far. Love the pitch - long and short blurbs are great and absoultely made me want to read on. Have only read Ch1 so far (am at work right now). Here's my feedback on that. As always, take what you like and dump the rest.
Great voice. You write very well and Jim is a credible and interesting character. Funeral scene is perfectly written. Great characterisation all round and excellent observation of how we like to bury our dead in Ireland! Loved the line about sending the concrete. You set the scene brilliant. We know Dent is an evil bastard, we know Jim is glad to see him dead and buried and we're drawn along with a fine narrative.
A few editing things:
'with faces that would, and do fill mug shot books.' Think you need an extra comma after 'do'
'My standards and tastes though tend...' should be '...and tastes, though, tend...'
'Nurses' should be 'nurses'
There's probably more but that's all I picked up on.
Anything else? Hmm.. you may not want to overplay the Celtic Tiger setting - this will quickly date your novel and, possibly, make it harder to sell to publishers.
Overall, though, I bloody loved this and will be back to read more. Once I've done that, I'll be adding you to my shelf.
Sheila

Fred Le Grand wrote 559 days ago

Hi,
I like this. The MC's voice comes through strong and clear.
At each bit of dialogue, you need to ask yourself, 'Would he say this?'
The detective doing the interview might say some of the things but it is a little OTT. Depends on if you want stagey realism or realism. The bit about not interested in football may be a bit OTT.
The other thing is - would they really admit him to hospital for the story he's telling? In A&E they would probably check him physically and if he's OK discharge him with a psychiatric out-patient appointment. Maybe he'd be better in the cells? If he's confused but totally OK physically then they might thinks it's drugs?
One way to examine dialogue it is to convert it to third person and look at what is said. You may be overdoing the tersness a bit. But it's marginal.
You could also create the scenes a little better by adding a touch more descriptive prose, without changing the pace. Set the scene a bit better - smells sights and sounds. I don't mean make it BORING just a faint light brush.
You can write well and the dialogue is good too.
None of this detracts from the story because your MC has a strong voice and the pace is good.
Take all this with a barrel of salt - I'm only an amateur myself.
Backed this because I think it has a lot of promise.
BTW even if you're tempted to comment on my comment, don't put it here - send a message instead as most people don't return to the book's comments later and won't see what you've written.
Good luck with it.

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