Book Jacket

 

rank 5858
word count 105511
date submitted 06.12.2011
date updated 08.12.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Popular Culture,...
classification: moderate
complete

Fool's Dilemma

Carl Anders

There are plenty of skeletons in Detective Jim Byrne’s closet, but with the death of his underworld nemesis, those skeletons are about to start walking.

 

The funeral of Dublin crime boss Thomas Dent should have been the end to all of Jim’s woes, but nothing ever works out that easy in Jim’s life. In a matter of days Jim goes from investigating the savage murder of a young girl to being the unwitting fulcrum of the impending turf war over who controls Dublin’s crime.

Faced with either putting his career into a tailspin, forfeiting the few friends he has, being directly responsible for the murder and torture of others or opting for the old reliables of self pity and self preservation; what real choice does Jim have?

 
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tags

crime, detective, dublin, ireland, irish, murder

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Chapters

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Tough choice for a morning, start my standard cold call enquiries in a pub or head to the local grocery shop in Castleknock. To be honest they were still long shots, though wed had a positive from Connolly on her getting onto the quarter to one train, we still didnt know for sure that she got off at Castleknock. I stood outside the pub, called McCarthy and asking him to send on the details of Aisling to Coolmine and all other stations on the line from Connolly and see if they turn up anything with the photo. It was good to note he didnt bear grudges.

It was getting on for late afternoon a couple of hours and this place will have in the usual after work drinkers. Some of them will go home, some wont, but I guarantee theyll all drive from here. At the moment though its quiet and the Chinese girl behind the bar runs off to get the manager at my request.

Unfortunately, there were no incidents of note on Saturday and so any CCTV will probably have been wiped over by now with Sundays business. They only had a small camera behind the bar, more to dissuade employees from dipping into the till than to record comings and goings in the pub. I did say it was a long shot. None of the Saturday staff were on today, though he did give me a list and contact numbers. Another job for uniform, Ill also get them to come in and speak to a few regulars see if they remember anything.

The shop was even less helpful. After a call back to McCarthy, he says the stations are ready with the tapes and hes arranged for them to be picked up. I head over to Castleknock Station to see what they have.

 

The answer is not a lot, other than a very grainy picture taken at specific time intervals so that people appeared to jump across the platform. We did have some luck though given it was early afternoon the amount of people who were actually coming back from town at that time was relatively small because most were heading into to town rather than out, or sat in watching the match. With this being the case the amount of people therefore waiting on the Maynooth side platform was also minimal. Now it was a matter of scanning it frame by frame to see if we could spot her.

That her? Freeze picture. Scan photograph. Look back at screen. No and so on.

Then:

That her?

Even without the picture for back up I knew it was. Yes! There she was leaving the back of the train and heading down the platform and out the station. So we have her at Castleknock Station at five past one. Shes on her own though and as far as we can tell from the cameras, nobody followed her. Its a start though.

A quick call to Fran and he oks me to go back to her house and talk to the rest of the housemates. I turn down the offer of him also sending a Ban Garda to accompany me.

 

As I was led through to the kitchen by Maeve her two other housemates were at around the kitchen table, they were all red eyed and drinking coffee. I accepted again another offer for more coffee and realised I hadnt eaten since breakfast. I decided that depending on information from here Ill make this the last call and head home. It was nearly six oclock anyway and even if I dropped the car back or not, Id be looking at a hell of a journey home.

Maeve seemed to be the one of the three who was most together so I directed questions to her.

Its only a couple more questions, just some loose ends we need to tie up.

Thats fine, she said, I understand.

One that we can get out they way now is did she have a boyfriend?

No, she was definitely single. Shed had a couple of short term boyfriends since living here but noting serious.

Its only procedure, but do you have their names?

Sure, Ill write them down for you, I think I may still have their numbers somewhere.

Thanks, and do you know if she kept a diary or kept any kind of journal?

Not that I know of, didnt you search her room anyway?

We did, but sometimes things like that are hidden well away, never mind. Lastly, one thing that has been bothering me is that we see that she got the train to Castleknock, but wouldnt Coolmine be the easier or a much handier station for home?

Theyre both the same really, maybe Coolmine is a bit nearer or more direct, but sometimes she used Castleknock. She would get claustrophobic on the train and was convinced all the men were perving at her, so sometimes shed get off the stop early and walk that way.

Claustrophobic?

Youve obviously not used the Maynooth Commuter. Its packed, I dont just mean no seats, I mean Calcutta packed with people hanging off the roof. Ive no idea how she stuck it day in day out.

I see, but on Saturday the train was pretty empty, any idea why on this occasion she would have used Castleknock?

Im sorry I dont know, maybe habit?

Maybe. Did she ever mention arranging to meet someone on Saturday? Anything at all?

No sorry, she never mentioned anything.

She walked me to the door as her friends continued to look into space in the kitchen, Thanks for the coffee, I offered, If you want I can arrange for someone from Victim Support to come around and talk if youd like. I was deliberately looking at the two in the kitchen.

Thanks, maybe well take you up on that. I just think were still in shock, but the best thing you could do is catch the bastard and see to it that he never pisses straight again.

We both knew that the chances of the former at this moment in time were small, let alone anyone being able to get near him enough to kick the shit out of him.

Ill by some steel toe-capped boots especially for it.

At least she smiled.

 

Heading back home to Jamestown Road, though currently stuck in traffic in Phoenix Park, Fran calls. Before I even have time to give him an update he simply cuts through with Pint? How could I refuse?

 

Still without car he took my route and got the LUAS to Goldenbridge. We met up at the Black Horse. At this stage in proceedings theres always so much information flying around that it can be easy to loose threads in the pile. Over the years Fran and myself have found that a couple of pints drank initially in silence while we develop or thoughts. Then we share information, fill in the blanks in each others charts, and look to see which threads need closing off.

At the second pint, we talk.

You seem keen enough on this Lyons guy.

I had debated whether to keep him to myself, if only to stop any ridicule I may get, but then if it does go through to court, its best to show weve had him in mind for it from the start and why.

He knows too much. Fran, if someone comes to you with specific information on a murder, whats your first thought? Theyre the suspect or theyre psychic?

"Hasn't he got an alibi though?"

Hospital, yeah.

And Eddie Rockets.

Hang on, Weve missed something.

What? And whats this we?

Youre in charge, if I screw up, we both get blamed for the stink. Anyway, what did he say about why he collapsed?

She bumped into him.

And what time do we have him in the diner?

Between four and half past.

But we also have Aisling, coming off the train at five past one. What was she doing back in Phibsborough? Why would she need to go back into town?

Maybe she fancied Eddie Rockets?

Theres one in the Blanchardstown Centre.

I dont know then.

Shit this is going to keep me up all night. Same again? Guinness?

My round, Smithicks again?

Why not.

 

It wasnt his round, but it gave him a chance to go and stand outside for a smoke. I was annoyed that Id missed the hole in his story. Maybe its not his story, maybe it wasnt Aisling on the platform, even though she was wearing the same clothes, maybe she did go down to Phibsborough after getting home. Maybe Lyons is lying.

 

After several mentions, of Just one more and Last one we ended up after six pints and a couple of jemmies going back to mine. Fran had missed the LUAS back to town to get the train out to Meath where he lived. Rather than face the taxi fair he decided to accept my offer of stopping at mine and then face the wrath of his missus tomorrow. Brave man.

We couldnt think of any answers to the questions we had left, best then not to dwell on it and to pick it up tomorrow when we could stop speculating and try and find some answers. Fran was snoring away to himself in the back bedroom, but it was the image of Thomas Dent stood smirking at the end of my bed that was really keeping me awake.

 

Chapters

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6

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Su Dan wrote 525 days ago

a true and honest piece===original style. you take us on the journey with great skill and keep us interested...
backed...
read SEASONS...

Warrick Mayes wrote 527 days ago

Carl,

A most interesting and delightful read.
I love the main character, his grumpy and resentful manner and the way he tells the story.

There is also plenty of humour, dry and gritty.

I did find one small error: "...who should employee these cranks on a full time basis." I think you meant "employ" rather than "employee", but very difficult to spot when you have to read it back.

This will get a high rating from me, and go on my watch-list

Best regards
Warrick

Sheilab wrote 527 days ago

Hi Carl
Comments so far. Love the pitch - long and short blurbs are great and absoultely made me want to read on. Have only read Ch1 so far (am at work right now). Here's my feedback on that. As always, take what you like and dump the rest.
Great voice. You write very well and Jim is a credible and interesting character. Funeral scene is perfectly written. Great characterisation all round and excellent observation of how we like to bury our dead in Ireland! Loved the line about sending the concrete. You set the scene brilliant. We know Dent is an evil bastard, we know Jim is glad to see him dead and buried and we're drawn along with a fine narrative.
A few editing things:
'with faces that would, and do fill mug shot books.' Think you need an extra comma after 'do'
'My standards and tastes though tend...' should be '...and tastes, though, tend...'
'Nurses' should be 'nurses'
There's probably more but that's all I picked up on.
Anything else? Hmm.. you may not want to overplay the Celtic Tiger setting - this will quickly date your novel and, possibly, make it harder to sell to publishers.
Overall, though, I bloody loved this and will be back to read more. Once I've done that, I'll be adding you to my shelf.
Sheila

Fred Le Grand wrote 528 days ago

Hi,
I like this. The MC's voice comes through strong and clear.
At each bit of dialogue, you need to ask yourself, 'Would he say this?'
The detective doing the interview might say some of the things but it is a little OTT. Depends on if you want stagey realism or realism. The bit about not interested in football may be a bit OTT.
The other thing is - would they really admit him to hospital for the story he's telling? In A&E they would probably check him physically and if he's OK discharge him with a psychiatric out-patient appointment. Maybe he'd be better in the cells? If he's confused but totally OK physically then they might thinks it's drugs?
One way to examine dialogue it is to convert it to third person and look at what is said. You may be overdoing the tersness a bit. But it's marginal.
You could also create the scenes a little better by adding a touch more descriptive prose, without changing the pace. Set the scene a bit better - smells sights and sounds. I don't mean make it BORING just a faint light brush.
You can write well and the dialogue is good too.
None of this detracts from the story because your MC has a strong voice and the pace is good.
Take all this with a barrel of salt - I'm only an amateur myself.
Backed this because I think it has a lot of promise.
BTW even if you're tempted to comment on my comment, don't put it here - send a message instead as most people don't return to the book's comments later and won't see what you've written.
Good luck with it.

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