Book Jacket

 

rank 5842
word count 105511
date submitted 06.12.2011
date updated 08.12.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Popular Culture,...
classification: moderate
complete

Fool's Dilemma

Carl Anders

There are plenty of skeletons in Detective Jim Byrne’s closet, but with the death of his underworld nemesis, those skeletons are about to start walking.

 

The funeral of Dublin crime boss Thomas Dent should have been the end to all of Jim’s woes, but nothing ever works out that easy in Jim’s life. In a matter of days Jim goes from investigating the savage murder of a young girl to being the unwitting fulcrum of the impending turf war over who controls Dublin’s crime.

Faced with either putting his career into a tailspin, forfeiting the few friends he has, being directly responsible for the murder and torture of others or opting for the old reliables of self pity and self preservation; what real choice does Jim have?

 
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tags

crime, detective, dublin, ireland, irish, murder

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Chapters

38

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Thirty-Eight

We break so Kelly can check his messages at his office and get to anybody on the verge of psychological collapse. As I potter around the office Maura calls.

Sorry to call you at work.

You dont have to apologise. Its ok.

I just wanted to check something first.

Go ahead.

Would you mind if I went home and picked up some stuff, clothes and womens things so on?

Sure, why you even asking?

Jim, this is the first night weve spent together, I didnt want you getting home and suddenly panicking thinking Id moved in completely. Honestly, I wont be here long, Im just a practical girl and need my things.

Look: its fine. And dont wait up, it might be late around here. Ill let you know.

No need. Ill be ok. Ill wait up though if you dont mind.

 

Wow. How polite and disturbing was that conversation?

 

Im stopped in my thoughts by McDermot, Byrne, where you been?

Here why?

Ive been looking all over for you. Ive got those photos for you to look at. Kennys guys.

Bring em down, Im in my office.

 

McDermot comes down with a huge folder and lands on it with a thump on my desk.

So hows Cunningham?

Still in hospital, but doing well. Hes a bit on the quiet side though.

Understandable, not as if talking to us did him any good. What about Kenny?

Hes lawyered up and quiet as a mouse. DPP seem very interested in even the basics we have. Could be promising.

I look at the huge volume on my desk, He knows all these people?

Either directly or theyre connected to him in some way. I was going to pick out his known closest associates, but thought we might err on the side of caution and view everyone.

Thanks.

 

It was slow going trawling through the photographs. After a while I was really only looking at every one in five or six properly. Occasionally at the end of a page, Id realised that I couldnt remember even looking at the others on the page and would have to go back.

I was pretty sure Id remember Jackie, I saw enough of him, so I really should have just skimmed through until I found the picture, but McDermot was determined we do it properly. We hadnt done this task yet with Maura and Ray wasnt up to it. I was hoping Id see him and make it less of a requirement for Maura. Ray, I didnt really care about. He might not like it, but hes our star witness. In his current condition, no jury in the land would let Kenny back on the streets.

Already there had been media attention about Kenny being in custody and already television crews had been up to his home town and found numerous people to interview who all stated he was an ordinary business man who did loads for the community. Even if we had him on video committing his crimes, these people would still proclaim his innocence.

About halfway through the book, among all the pale stares of various criminals and associates one face stands out head and shoulders above all others. A thin and square face. His hair, prematurely grey and shaved into a flat top and eyes looking through the camera and deep into the head of the photographer and viewer. Jackie.

You sure?

Couldnt be more positive.

His names not Jackie.

Didnt think it was likely to be.

James Owens just so you know.

Wheres he based.

Weve no real idea. Hes usually permanently on the road until Kenny needs him. But after the warehouse hes probably gone into hiding near by until Kenny can get him away.

Is he likely to?

You saw what he did to Ray. One whisper about Owens is that the only reason Kenny keeps him so close is because hes the only person on this planet hes actually afraid of.

Seemed like a kitten to me.

 

Kenny comes back from checking his messages to say the emails have arrived from Maynooth and hell work on comparing them.

Will it take you long?

Should only need twenty or so examples, hopefully from as big a time period as possible. Maybe two hours.

You eaten?

Just those tasteless biscuits brought in with the coffee.

Ill arrange some lunch for you. Any preferences?

Even polystyrene would be a flavour feast compared to those biscuits.

Ill get in some sandwiches. I need to pop out anyway.

 

I still have to be cautious and one thing Ive learned with caution is that I cant be contacting the Dents willy nilly. Maura may just about be tolerated, though Ive yet to even decide whether to tell Sheridan, but a record of calling Danny Dent on my work provided mobile could possibly be put down to stupidity.

I organise for a local sandwich shop to deliver a platter, courtesy of Sheridan, to HQ and for the attention of Dr Kelly. I head down towards town and find a mobile phone shop.

Is it possible that we need a choice of this many phones? I end up picking the most basic one in the shop, the only one that's just a phone.

Sure, that doesnt even have proper ring tones. The sales boy whined, probably thinking more of his commission than any potential implications of yours truly walking around with a socially unacceptable phone.

But it still rings when someone calls.

Well yes.

Then explain the problem to me.

Well this one here, and he points to one resembling the very first pocket calculators that only fitted in the pockets of those jump suits made for chronically obese people, you can store up to a hundred of your favourite songs and set each one as a ring tone for different people.

I only know one person. And they never call me anyway.

As he packs up, I notice the till area is covered by CCTV cameras. I have a mild panic at the thoughts that if anyone did trace back the phone to this shop, theyd see me buying it on CCTV. Then theres conflict. A sudden panic conflicting with a sudden eureka. If they have CCTV here, then so will the shop the murderer bought their phone from.

Tell me, lad. Is your manager in?

Look, mister, I didnt mean to offend you trying to sell you other phones. Theres no need to get me into trouble.

Youre not. I show my badge.

 

Yeah we record everyone. The manager is younger than the kid who was serving me. He shouldnt even be trusted to be on his own with scissors, let alone run a shop.

What happens to the footage?

These days we store it on a computer hard drive and then burn the files onto DVD. We store them pretty much forever. Well, as long as Ive been here.

How long have you been here?

Two years.

And youve two years of CCTV footage?

Sure, the files sizes arent that big and you can get loads onto the DVD. We send them off to head office at the end of the month and they archive them all.

Thanks.

 

I still needed to use my new phone, but I guess some sense of prioritising kicked in and I called Fran and asked him to check up on when and where the phone was purchased, as theres a chance we could have a better image and asked him to check on the progress with the search at the library. Then I called Danny.

Mr Byrne, I didnt recognise the number.

Its new.

Its private you mean?

This phone call is.

Will you be keeping the number?

I havent decided yet.

So to what do I owe the pleasure.

Information thats of mutual interest. Check out the name James Owen.

That him?

Its him.

I know of him already.

Where from?

His reputation and his more legitimate public face.

Which is?

A security consultant.

For pubs and clubs?

More industrial. Does a lot of work for one of your old pals.

Dont bloody say Tommy OToole.

Howd you know?

I guessed.

You want us to deal with this?

He hurt me too.

No disrespect Byrne, but taking Maura and what he threatened to do takes precedence over your beating.

I was referring to Maura.

Oh. I understand. Ill call you when we have news.

On this number.

 

Back then at the office three things happen at once. Firstly Kelly says the emails are very revealing. They reveal that Delaney cant possibly have written the letters and this would suggest he isnt the murderer. Fran stormed in during talking to Kelly to tell me that the phone shop had a major result and still had footage of the sale. They could come over with the DVD in less than an hour and the colleges wont be far behind with the library information. And while all that was going on my office phone rang,

 

Detective Byrne speaking.

Hello, is that the guards? It sounded like an old man.

Yes sir, how can I help?

Its about that girl, the young one murdered. I may have information, are you the person to talk to?

Yes sir, what information do you have?

I think weve got her on camera, with the man you were looking for.

Im gone.

 

Chapters

38

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Su Dan wrote 531 days ago

a true and honest piece===original style. you take us on the journey with great skill and keep us interested...
backed...
read SEASONS...

Warrick Mayes wrote 533 days ago

Carl,

A most interesting and delightful read.
I love the main character, his grumpy and resentful manner and the way he tells the story.

There is also plenty of humour, dry and gritty.

I did find one small error: "...who should employee these cranks on a full time basis." I think you meant "employ" rather than "employee", but very difficult to spot when you have to read it back.

This will get a high rating from me, and go on my watch-list

Best regards
Warrick

Sheilab wrote 533 days ago

Hi Carl
Comments so far. Love the pitch - long and short blurbs are great and absoultely made me want to read on. Have only read Ch1 so far (am at work right now). Here's my feedback on that. As always, take what you like and dump the rest.
Great voice. You write very well and Jim is a credible and interesting character. Funeral scene is perfectly written. Great characterisation all round and excellent observation of how we like to bury our dead in Ireland! Loved the line about sending the concrete. You set the scene brilliant. We know Dent is an evil bastard, we know Jim is glad to see him dead and buried and we're drawn along with a fine narrative.
A few editing things:
'with faces that would, and do fill mug shot books.' Think you need an extra comma after 'do'
'My standards and tastes though tend...' should be '...and tastes, though, tend...'
'Nurses' should be 'nurses'
There's probably more but that's all I picked up on.
Anything else? Hmm.. you may not want to overplay the Celtic Tiger setting - this will quickly date your novel and, possibly, make it harder to sell to publishers.
Overall, though, I bloody loved this and will be back to read more. Once I've done that, I'll be adding you to my shelf.
Sheila

Fred Le Grand wrote 533 days ago

Hi,
I like this. The MC's voice comes through strong and clear.
At each bit of dialogue, you need to ask yourself, 'Would he say this?'
The detective doing the interview might say some of the things but it is a little OTT. Depends on if you want stagey realism or realism. The bit about not interested in football may be a bit OTT.
The other thing is - would they really admit him to hospital for the story he's telling? In A&E they would probably check him physically and if he's OK discharge him with a psychiatric out-patient appointment. Maybe he'd be better in the cells? If he's confused but totally OK physically then they might thinks it's drugs?
One way to examine dialogue it is to convert it to third person and look at what is said. You may be overdoing the tersness a bit. But it's marginal.
You could also create the scenes a little better by adding a touch more descriptive prose, without changing the pace. Set the scene a bit better - smells sights and sounds. I don't mean make it BORING just a faint light brush.
You can write well and the dialogue is good too.
None of this detracts from the story because your MC has a strong voice and the pace is good.
Take all this with a barrel of salt - I'm only an amateur myself.
Backed this because I think it has a lot of promise.
BTW even if you're tempted to comment on my comment, don't put it here - send a message instead as most people don't return to the book's comments later and won't see what you've written.
Good luck with it.

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