Not unto Death but unto Life

For Andrey Yagin,
“Not unto Death but unto Life” is one among the finest of Christian Historical Fictions, because, it reads original and is found to be spiritually profitable—a great spiritual breakthrough. As I read it through, I had had a feel that the characters in it are all true and living historical persons. Since the story has been written behind the true historical events and back grounds, the book retains its originality and authenticity, hence popularity. The main characters in the story are heroes of faith like heroes in the Bible and are tested through fires of trials and hardships during a time of warfare and conflicts, evils and temptations. Pastor Alexey is the main hero of the whole story who comes victorious at the end along with other heroes of faith in the church. The city of Yuzhnogorsk reminds me of the city of Smyrna in the book of Revelation in the Bible. The church at Smyrna had a very hard times for they had to undergo a severe persecution at the hands of the Jewish and heathen persecutors. It was exceptionally very difficult for a Christian to live a godly life in Smyrna, so is the church at Yuzhnogorsk. Yet , like the church at Smyrna, the church at Yuzhnogorsk receives our glowing commendation (as Christ did) for their suffering for Christ’s sake, for their testimony and remaining faithful unto the end despite tribulation. It’s a great lesson and encouragement as well for the up coming Christian churches.
The simple style of writing in short sentences yet with high literary quality is highly commendable. The only suggestion I can make is at the end of the book. The new addition of a book in the continuing chapters is rather confusing. It may be suggested that the new book be uploaded completely a new.
Surya.
The Names of the Believers…..

Wow, I only read a little of this so far but the way you describe things and how the story begins is really good. I'm definetely going to read more of this later when I have time. :)

God Bless,
Keegan Hutton

Not unto Death but unto Life
Andrey Yagin

The Ex-Soviet of seaside Yuzhnogorsk.

I always find fiction's like these to be very emotional. The fact that it has such much power in speech and religion, what a beautiful blend my dear. I really do enjoy the story. There's a message to be told and it is shown very honorably within your pages. I've seem to taken the time to read all of your chapters (as promised) and I wouldn't have had it any other way, this is really a good read. You have a knack for keeping your readers where you want them and the flow of your story to move in a fluid type way.

I wish you all the luck with your story,

With Love & Best Of Wishes
A.D. Reid

I agree with the commenter who said there should be more active voices. Like instead of "sound could be heard" Try, "They could hear the TV." Furthermore, the paragraphs need to be broken up a lot. Usually there's just one person speaking per paragraph. I got to a paragraph in chapter two that even had different view points in the same paragraph.
My other issue is that it seems God name was used in vain in this paragraph. Maybe the character was saying a prayer when Lena said, "Oh my God, what's wrong with you?" However, that really sounds more like a sentence where God's name is being used as a meaningless expression. Unless somebody is talking to or about God, they are misusing His name.

Hi Andrey, I really loved this so far. Great opening and so nice to see the precious name of Jesus within your work. Best of luck

I am enjoying reading this story. I would suggest you try to use more active verbs. For example: instead of using 'was' try to find something that involves action. Your first paragraph could be a good example. 'It was like the good old times. A man and his wife were sitting drinking tea.' This could become--'He reminisced about the good old times and he and his wife sipped at their tea.' One states information while the other paints a mental picture. It just colours your story a bit more. A lot of great detail and an interesting plot developing.

really enjoying this book

really enjoying this book

Andrey, I found myself enjoying this more than I thought I would. Its a good premise and I know there may be a little edit issue but once that is rectified and you get on here and push it, I can see it doing very well. You have a nice flow to it which is what sucked me into the book initially and then you have the ability to keep me as the reader right there. I did struggle to put it down. Well done and I will wish you all the luck in the world. I score this High.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

A very interesting book but I take issue with your presentation of dialogue. Wouldn't have been better this way?
It was only then that Alexey looked at the clock. It was two in the morning.
"Oh, boy! what will the neighbors think?"
He now realized that the thin walls between Soviet apartments...

A good British edit, you'll have a very presentable book.

I really liked it. Good stuff. I'll read on.

This is a valuable book, and one that can provide insight for the churches of the western world. On my shelf, with six stars.

October and a new shelf of books in process. Good settings and descriptions. Good luck.

RM A RELATIVE INVASION

Your book is an interesting concept. The writing is stiff, and reads as if English is not your first language. I think that may be a difficult barrier to cross, unless you state in your story that you write as a Soviet wanting to tell your story to an American audience. The "accent" does distract from the flow, but might not so much if I was aware of that language difference from the beginning. I like the idea of the nightmares, that is a very interesting and intriguing concept when even the children have nightmares.

Good start.

Abby

After reading just the first chapter, I have decided to put your book on my shelf and rate high. I will read more soon and hope to comment more when done. Good luck in your book and I hope it continues to do well.

Sounds like a good storyline, and something I would like to check out at those times one's afforded. But the pitch needs strengthening. Besides, there are some issues you could fix right away. One: Insert the comma I have inserted in this sentence: "As the area where he lives is on the verge of a revival international, assassins begin to terrorize the local population including a growing Moslem minority." Two: Revise the corresponding sentence to what I have here: "Why is Alexey the target of the enemy’s attacks and who is behind that evil?" Three: Delete this sentence, as it sounds pedestal: "Learn for yourselves how this story ends." Let the preceding sentence do the "showing"...and the pulling. Thanks and grace be with you.

Very engaging writing! I like the spiritual descriptions of how evil effects the characters inwardly and outwordly. It reminds me a little of Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler and Peterri undertones, in its flow of emotionally/psychical intrigue. However, I would work on making it flow better with more description to carry the reader, like a segue, into the various emotional events of the novel. You have the raw material of intensity. but the grammar is a little abrupt. I would read it outloud to a writers group to polish and get more of a coherence with the flow.
Good intensity! Please read my writing as well.
Thank you.

It's lengthy, which is a good thing, but that does not always make the writing itself good. Length is something that I think a lot of literature is missing these days. That being said, the length of the paragraphs are too much. They need to be split apart, especially during dialogue. I also find it choppy and written in broken English. If English is not your first language, I applaud you, but if it is, you need to look William Strunk's Element of Style. I also find the stereotype of Muslims being harsh very...weird. But, if it's truly how you feel about them, write on.

Ash

I might read more of this but for several factors:
In parts the writing is clunky, with lots of 'was' and 'were', typos and incorrect grammar. It seems like a translation to English, probably from Russian.
You haven't been online for ages. (52 days)
and
Many of your backers appear to be sock puppets, specifically those known to be created by Floxy.
Sorry, this just isn't for me.
I am posting this as a comment rather than as a message so you might receive an email notification and return to the site to see what's going on.
Spilota

I was 'in it' from the start, looking forward to reading more! I scanned some areas, but i do that in books when its too much description, just my preference! The truth's you are presenting are great... the actuality about being part of the body of Christ and pushing in for awaking/revival and the reality of the enemy!

Good stuff
Beverly
Jenni's Amazing Adventures

Dear Andre, I have just read the first four chapters of your novel and will return to the rest soon.I think this is lovely descriptive writing, I really feel that I have been drawn under the skin of your country. You paint vivid images, as here: 'It seemed that horror came on the plane wings; it was following the plane and filling up the space, bringing every living being under it's control.' In the moving account of the daughter's death and return to life,I love this description: 'His whole world shrank to thesize of his daughter's face.' Very moving, much said in few words. I've given you five stars and backed your book.
My first book has a Christian background, perhaps you could read up to chapter three and give me your comments. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind Regards, Pamela Crabtree.
'The Severed Cord.'

Dear Andrey,
I have just put you on my watchlist to read soon. Perhaps you would like to read my book and comment on it. I think you might like it ,reading your blurb, it may be your sort of thing.
Kind Regards, Pamela Crabtree.

'The Severed Cord.'

can't wait to read your book!

A very touching account of life as christian in once communist Russia. A little lengthy areas, where I just scanned to get through it, but over all a good book

Dear Andrey, I have just read the first four chapters of your book. You have written a powerful beginning to a story that cries out to be heard. Christians all over the world need to read this book, so they will understand more of how to deal with the enemy of our souls.

In Australia today, we are anticipating a move of God that is unrivalled in history, and yes, we are also seeing the enemy stirring up strife, problems and sickness, as well as financial strain. In these days, Christians urgently need to hear the message you have written, and it is my personal belief that they are better able to receive it in the form of a story, rather than as a straight warning.

I am putting your book on my shelf with six stars. There are a number of spelling mistakes and typos, but they will be easily fixed by an editor. I would appreciate it if you could take a look at my book also.

Kerrie Price
THE GOD PLEASERS 40 day Study Guide

Ch 3. 2nd paragraph. How do hats make the city a tourist attraction?

How do the suburbs stay poor while the city prospers? The novel just said persons traveled from far away for city jobs. How hard would it be to commute from the suburbs for those same jobs?

panhandle

This is very immediate, and your idiosyncratic use of language adds charm.

I can see why this has done so well! All the best with it!

Interesting so far.

The story is powerful indeed, and it's the story that matters here. The writing is excellent, considering you're writing in a second language (or probably third or fourth, like me). The message is clear -- you're the right man ("in the right place and in the right time"), fulfilling your calling. It's fascinating because you're taking me to a place I'll never visit, into a culture I'll never know. You're opening the eyes of the reader and the heart. I've enjoyed thoroughly the chapters I've read and when it's in print, I'll want to own a copy for myself and a few to share.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye
PS. My book is a memoir about my escape from communist Romania at fourteen along switchbacks that eventually led me to America. If it had not been for miracles, it wouldn't have happened. I'm hoping you'll have a glance.

Quite good so far. You have a tight narrative here, but i'm guessing that English is not your first langiage and for you to write a novel in a second language is laudable. So far all you need is a good editor and up to this point you have a winner on your hands.

I am still quite taken with the book. I am putting it on my watchlist.

so sorry, please delete the repeated messages. My signal strength is not so good so I thought I hadn't gotten through and sent the message more than once.
You may want to look at para.6 The sentence that says- the place was very good to enjoy-you may want to reword that to, it was a good place to enjoy etc.

Well, I'm impressed. I can see some of Peretti's influence already, and that is what makes good books great, assimilating and recreating. I did not plan on commenting until after I read the fifth chapter, but hey, this is good stuff. By the way, have you read Dekker- Ted Dekker? If you haven't you are in for a treat when you do. There is this book too, it's Demon-A Memoir- By Tosca Lee-read it, you won't be disappointed

Well, I'm impressed. I can see some of Peretti's influence already, and that is what makes good books great, assimilating and recreating. I did not plan on commenting until after I read the fifth chapter, but hey, this is good stuff. By the way, have you read Dekker- Ted Dekker? If you haven't you are in for a treat when you do. There is this book too, it's Demon-A Memoir- By Tosca Lee-read it, you won't be disappointed

Well, I'm impressed. I can see some of Peretti's influence already, and that is what makes good books great, assimilating and recreating. I did not plan on commenting until after I read the fifth chapter, but hey, this is good stuff. By the way, have you read Dekker- Ted Dekker? If you haven't you are in for a treat when you do. There is this book too, it's Demon-A Memoir- By Tosca Lee-read it, you won't be disappointed

great read of what I read, a bit over my head but nevertheless very interesting and enlightening

added to watch list v good x
Sam Rivers - The Balance of Your Life

I backed your book, but just want to encourage you to make sure you show fear or panic instead of saying there is panic. Let the reader decide if the character is in panic or not.

History student Jacey collapses with a brain-tumour then embarks on a quest for survival through a sixth-century dreamscape as surgeons fight to save her. Then George appears after a seemingly fatal car crash. He should be dead too yet here he is in Jacey's dream, just in time to help her and Prince Felix on their quest to steal the magic Cauldron of Annwyn from the Black Tower. But who is George? Even he's not sure.
Sounds a bit odd? It is.
All reads/revues appreciated, will return all reads asap.

As a Christian born in the Ukraine, my Indian father found work there, I foud your book very interesting Andrey. Please howevr look at your long paragraphs, they could do with some breaking up. MB

Read the first chapter, this is a book that is well written, one that I will finish and starr highly, and comment often. Our Church has an American family Missionary living in the Ukraine.
Christine
"Five Short Stories with a twist"

This is a beginning. I have put this on my watch list and will come back to it. I have read seven chapters and will have to admit that I have not been pulled into this yet. I love that each chapter begins with scripture but sometimes the connection with the content of the chapter is weak. This has much promise but will have to be rewritten in a way that is not "told" to me but instead written in such a way that I may experience it.
I wish you success in your endeavors.
Karen

I would ask you to please get connected with an English editor/proofreader. This story has such potential it must be published. It will take time and effort, but the world will be a better place for having this book within it.

Truly an interesting read. Creativity at it's finest.

Andrey, a thought-provoking piece indeed. I am still reading... a lot to take in! Pastor Alexey is a strong, strong main character, and his nightmares are alive with the foreboding of evil he knows will surely descend upon this peaceful place. You have written these so well.

Alexey's conversation with Pastor Sasha is very interesting. The whole history is fascinating - and much of it unknown in the West. You've not only given us that history, but made it flesh and blood.

A little criticism for not much at all... more for readability on this site, and perhaps for the work to stand out more. I'd break up some of the long paragraphs into two or three, especially where you have dialogue -- i.e. give each person that speaks a fresh paragraph. It would help also where you have backstory and history (especially ch.3), to have shorter paragraphs - for flow and ease of reading. It is all too important to be skimmed! Normally, I'd say you (or anyone) should consider working some of this history and characters' backstories into the story as it goes along, rather than in chunks, but I can see what you're doing, that it's all so relevant and must stay where it is. So I hope you'll at least consider just breaking the long paragraphs down a bit!

Also, I think you need a stronger tag line (the short, 25-word pitch). For example - *Pastor Alexey Zimin and his Ministry in an ex-Soviet town are the target of terrorist attacks. Who is behind this evil?* OR *A murder, terrorist attacks, and threats on Pastor Alexey Zimin and his ministry in an ex-Soviet town, test a Christian revival. What is this evil?* (Just a couple of suggestions!) We are all judged by our books' *hooks* - here and in the big, bad publishing world, sad to say. But yours does have such hooks, and I think it would benefit you enormously to use one or two of them in that tag!

Highly starred, with a backing I hope helps you rise here!

From Kay-Christina
(*The Ragged Yellow Ribbon*)

Hi Andrey,

Nice job on this work of the heart! Many stars!!

Blessings,
Lyn Ventura
With All My MInd

Dear Andrey,
I can't wait to read more of this story. I must say that I am particularly amazed at your ability to use English writing as its not your native language. There are a few places where its obvious that English is your second language and I can't decide if that adds character to the tone of the story or takes away. Either way, it'd be easy for an editor to adjust if it is an issue for readers. Personally, I like it. Your story is one that Christians in the West should read to be reminded that religious freedom is a gift to be treasured. Blessings to you and the work that you are doing!

Very nice book and account of the battle waged against the church of the Lord Jesus. Happy to see that in all things we are more than conquerers through Him that loved us! Thanks for writing this! God bless you!!

Andrey,
Following Pastor Alexey's struggles to build a pioneer church on the forbidding landscape of drug addiction, gangsterism and religious persecution, I admired the tenacity of his faith despite the devil's attempts to make him stumble. Certainly his experience is not unique, ministers around the world working to build church membership despite threats to their lives and other horrific experiences. Your straightforward and unabashed narrative prose is easy to follow and digest, your characterizations intriguing. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean