Book Jacket

 

rank 4561
word count 12959
date submitted 15.12.2011
date updated 15.12.2011
genres: Fiction
classification: adult
incomplete

WIRELESS

Edward Brower

Second in the Ty Montgomery series.

 

Renowned scientist Carl Beckerman has discovered a contributory link between Autism and high-tech communication broadcasting. Before his earth-shaking medical breakthrough can be publically revealed, Beckerman and his research team become targets of hired assassins specializing in ingenious accidental arrangements. Retired attorney, Ty Montgomery, is entrusted by his old friend Beckerman with the only substantiation of the discovery. Confounded by the theft of the invaluable files, Ty and his team expose a surreptitious plot to cover-up the discovery and silence Beckerman permanently. Greed, jealousy, and lust for power motivate murder, robbery, and corporate corruption as Montgomery attempts to set things straight.

 
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A G Chaudhuri wrote 818 days ago

Dear Edward,

It’s an honour to be the first to comment on ‘Wireless’.
Sorry it took me so long to get to it.

Frankly, I was quite thrilled by the premise. The damages that we’re continually doing to our environment in the name of technology and progress have far reaching implications, many of which we can’t even begin to comprehend. Your story touches upon one such effect. I was practically swept away by the staggering amount of hardcore scientific research that you’ve put into the narrative.

Your writing is taut and crisp and the MS seems to be publication ready.
My suggestion at this stage would be to split up the extract into the requisite number of separate chapters.
Given the explosive nature of the opening sequence, such segmentation will actually enhance the effect you desire. You do action very well, but the lack of dialogue and pure narration may come across as a little dry to some readers. Without altering the basic structure, you may try writing these opening chapters from Beckerman's POV with a little dialogue thrown in for good measure.

My rating: 6 stars (undoubtedly).

Best regards,
AGC

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