Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 10968
date submitted 16.12.2011
date updated 31.10.2013
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Horror
classification: adult
incomplete

Loser

Gerald D. Johnston

Years ago, a book took Avery hostage. With the aid of a thief searching for redemption, another book may set him free.

 

Since high school, Avery Last has never been more than half a step ahead of the horrors which haunt his sleep. After hopelessly praying for years for release from this torment, a chance encounter with a self-proclaimed saviour, who he knows only as Mystery, leads him on a dark and bloody quest that promises to quiet his demons and put his past to rest. Like any journey, the path to true enlightenment begins with the first step. Avery’s first step is murder.

 
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tags

accidental death, cult, high school reunion, nihilism, redemption, revenge, satire, transgressive

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92 comments

 

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bunderful wrote 848 days ago

In a nutshell - I love this. I love everything you write. There was something about this that really reminded my of Moore's "Bloodsucking Fiends," and "You Suck," not sure exactly why, but it is still completely your own.

These are the notes I made to myself as I read, but honestly the only comment I really have is - when can I read more???

Chapter 1

Love the bit about smoking pot in the parking lot with the lady who drives the Books-On-Wheels bus. In another life, can I please be that lady?

I like the bit about the magazines a lot. Porno is passe - business is porn today...

Haha - love the bit about God's comeback tour...

Love the bit about the tanned and coiffed newscasters.

Chapter 2

I smiled throughout the entire scene with the dog. Funny stuff. Love it. "kraken" funny. and the peeing on the door.

"the scent of insanity and dog chow" - love that.

"getting chewed on like a chicken flavoured milk bone" - you crack me up, Gerry.

Chapter 3

you and your Baba Uriah Heep...you had me laughing.

"vomit esoteric dogma" - funny.

Haha "Relax, I've seen Trainspotting like four times."

Chapter Four

Love: "hairy wrecking ball"

And this: "a beacon of unholy light in the wasteland of the damned"

Okay. I laughed out loud: "He would rip off a leg and ass fuck me with it"

Amazing. I love it. You're the next Christopher Moore.

Backed since the day you uploaded it. 6 starred of course.

- Rena

Miss Wells wrote 769 days ago

Once again superbly assured writing. Your sentences create that excited anticipation for the next one which is the hallmark of all fabulous writing. And at times incite a joyful shout of recognition. You've got the tone spot on. The voice is beguiling and exciting. It's dead clever how you can get so much uplifting humour from such shadowy and menacing terrain. It's even uplifting to realise just before we're told that the accident victim is Dr DietZ because of how cleverly you've engineered the narrative. (Brilliant name too Diet Z). My only reservation with the first chapter is that ending could be tightened up a bit. If this was my book -
“If this is an emergency...”
Across the room the book stood open. From where I was I could even tell which page it displayed. It was page eleven, J through M of my yearbook photo page.” And I'd end the chapter here. I think you're overmilking a little after that.


Chapter two immediately has us grinning again. And the grin stays put. This chapter is utterly fabulous. Exhilarating and masterful. The dog fight is laugh out loud brilliance.

Chapter three: the grin's back. And the grin stays put. It's pure pleasure reading this. My only complaint is why can't I buy this in a book store and read it on paper.

Jannypeacock wrote 760 days ago

I read this book a couple of weeks ago but I didn’t leave a comment at the time. I didn’t want to be one of those gushy types ‘I love you, I love your book, it reads like a bed of literary roses’. But really, what choice do I have? I have to admit this is brilliant. Every now and then I stumble across a book here that really blows my mind. It doesn’t happen often but it has happened with Loser.

Your characterisation is superb. I adore a book that pulls me in and actually allows me to be part of the MC’s world. Avery has such a hard life and it’s reflected very well in his slightly jumpy personality - a nice subtle way of allowing the reader to see inside his fragile mind. I think the secret to your success here is the ease of snippets of backstory, the narrative flows so smoothly. You almost make something that most writers struggle with look like a piece of cake.

The subtle humour is great especially against the backdrop of such a menacing opening.

I really would like to see this on the Ed’s desk, or better again, in my local book shop.

Janny

BexMcK wrote 150 days ago

Really fluent, catchy prose and believable, gritty dialogue. Quality stuff. Good luck!

s1sbleek wrote 170 days ago

This is excellently written- I am dying for the next chapter.

e.k.d. judd wrote 170 days ago

This is really, really good so far. Love the snarkiness, the vivid descriptions, the building sense of something mad and strange coming. The only thing I can offer is so nit-picky it hardly seems worth mentioning -- add periods to a.m. (2:18 a.m.) Same thing at the beginning, think it was for 9 a.m. Can't wait to read the rest of what you've posted, will add "Loser" to my book shelf. Great job! -- e.k.d. judd (Unrelated Tales)

Catembi wrote 173 days ago

This is very unusual...and also very compelling! I've read far more than I intended to! It's rare to find something totally original on here, & you've managed to do it.

bdblanton wrote 177 days ago

Very nice tension inside Mister Last's head. He's clearly on the brink and leaning over. Nice conflict with the calm life of a librarian. Looking forward to the rest. Good luck. BD

sherit wrote 182 days ago

Oh...P.S...

is the girl Cara or Carla ...'cause you call her both in chapter one. :-)
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

sherit wrote 182 days ago

Hi Gerald...
I was sitting here in little ol' Atlanta GA with some time to kill before heading to work and thought I'd bop over to authonomy. Then when I was on the home page, I just had the thought to give your book a quick look since you were on the top five. When I hit "read the book" I was surprised to see only five chapters but after having read the first one, I must say it's a testament to your writing that your book has done so well (and well-deserved) on the strength of those five chapters. I only had time for 1/5th of your offering here but I will return. I am quite emotionally exhausted after that first chapter and again that's a testament to your writing that you took my emotions on that journey. And what a tragic twist there at the end. I have a strong suspicion I'll have be fairly depressed by the end of chapter five. Anyway! Good for you...Best of luck...clearly you've found your calling. I keep plodding along...this last bit to get to the ED is, as they say, like watching paint dry. All the best,
Sheri Emery / Crazy Quilt

Kestrelraptorial wrote 189 days ago

I found it very interesting that Avery compares his life to the fall from grace in the bible. I'd have liked to have read a few more chapters than just four, though these were better that I thought. I couldn't quite tell what the demons from Avery's past were, other than his life being full of getting put down. One can learn to fight that, and maybe this quest of his will do just that.

Mark Engineer wrote 190 days ago

I quite like this. There's some good stuff in there - some great black humour, and some wisdom. But I feel like I'm being bombarded. The doctor, for example - we meet her, I'm interested in her. Oh, she's dead. It seems she existed only to give him false hope. Don't be scared to take a breath!
Backed, and I look forward to reading some more. I hope it stays in the top five.

t23please wrote 197 days ago

Hi

Congrats on making the top five. Your cover & title caught my eye. I really enjoyed your writing, it has fresh and entertaining feel.

Had a couple of thoughts - from the bible, well the old testament anyway, i think its more of a fall from innocence & struggle in a state of grace - struggle and survival - with occasional happiness. Holding on for a better day.

I liked your characters, dialogue and storyline - they all work really well, & the way you mix your bits of philosophy with an honest and grimey reality. Nicely done.

Best

Tim - The Latter Day Church of Tiny Tim

NicolaHoppe wrote 216 days ago

Hi Gerald,
‘Loser’ absolutely rocks. I wondered how you could get this far with only four (or five?) chapters posted, which is usually hardly enough to dip into a story. But you hooked me straight away and before I knew it, I was like, “What? That’s it? I want more!” Black humor is right up my street so, despite the regrettably small portion you’ve uploaded, I thoroughly enjoyed your writing. The interior monologue makes it terrifyingly authentic; morbidly funny and sometimes scary.

I took some notes as I read:

Chapter One
- It’s not like the brain comes with a damp valve—I so wish this were the case sometimes lol
- God’s comeback tour? Hilarious, I laughed out loud. Also loved ‘I am a sheep no more.’
- Teachers smoking pot on the parking lot? Wouldn’t put it past many teachers either, I’m afraid. And it rhymes, which is a huge plus.
- Has business really replaced porn? I’m not so sure ‘bout that but the thought scares me.

Chapter Two
- A hiccup after a night of coughing up blood—very bright characteristic
- The last thing was an inside joke. You’ll get it later on—Feels like being part of the story, being invited into the MC’s head and you have a great talent to do just that.
- Go figure that he’d feel conflicted—I absolutely love your sarcastic tone
- A Rottweiler named Hulk? Absolutely bad-ass!
- I liked that you compared the MC’s life with a play—strong metaphorical entailments
- Two-hundred plus pounds of snarling fury—loved that line

Chapter Three
- Left me sickly, as if I’d spent three weeks on a Vegas bender—I don’t even want to imagine how my belly would hurt if I did that
- Emo nurse with a graveyard tan—You really understand it to capture atmosphere and characters perfectly for your readers
- Anyone under sixty has probably seen it—I still don’t have. Did I miss anything?
- When he awakens in the alley, ‘What are gonna do with him?’—Guess you’re missing a ‘we’ here or something
- I’m not a nurse but I can stick a needle into your arm cos I’ve seen Trainspotting four times—Absolutely hilarious!

Chapter Four
- A dumb hillbilly-type evil—Again, a very bright characteristic
- Eyes glowing with more than alcoholic rage—Same here, strong lyrical style
- Medusa and Aries all in one pasty white package of venom and pride—Brilliant
- Sorry won’t get this cock sucked—This sent shivers down my spine, really. Maybe I am a pussy, too.
- ‘You really get raped by..’—Think it should be ‘got’

Overall, this is simply a bad-ass, stone-cold, rock-solid story and whatnot. I'm wishing you the very best of luck on your way to the desk!

Backed and six-starred!

Nicola
PS: If you have time, please check out 'The Burden of the Badge'. Comments are much appreciated. Thanks!

tallott wrote 261 days ago

the novel encapsulates the theme of disaffected teenage years and plays on the theme of turning to God?. The main character is disturbed due to abusive background and speak out about this and his confiding in a profiteering shrink risks the shrink's death? Hinting at dangerous hate rackets?

The imagery and effect of the fast changing theme and focus of the novel is striking and captures attention. The boy is played with by a lethal society, where anyone can do what they like to his like, and reacts in anger, and dissent and cracks up, attracted by the church yet repelled by corruption and pilfering within its ranks. The theme is quite topical, about unspoken realities in society.
The novel is promising. I will rate it. I hope you can read, rate and comment on my novel Caribbean Chocolates. Tracy Allott

hockgtjoa wrote 272 days ago

This is a well written story with quirky humor and good writing (although I wonder about "I am going to precursor (? preface) the following events..." ch. 2.) Am on Ch. 3 but will be back to read the rest and possibly back (if there is more than the wit and the writing, i.e., a story that grabs me.

Scott Hough wrote 328 days ago

Loser by Gerald D. Johnston

Fiction, Literary Fiction, Horror

I have read Chapters 1-4 of Loser and found it to be quite readable. It is certainly horror, and the novel leaves the reader with a feeling of being unsettled. There are many surprises that appear, literally out of nowhere. The influence of Stephen King, Chuck Palahniuk and even John Swartzwelder is apparent.

As other readers have noted the bit with the business magazines may have been a bit over the top. However, reading Loser gives me confidence that my own writing is not merely a collection of tirades. Gerald Johnston demonstrates courage, wit and obvious writing ability.

“Hullo, God? It’s me, Avery…” wonderful Judy Blume reference.

The repeated run-ins with Saul and Hulk are hilarious. The Pac Man allusions are wonderful. Gerald’s worldview and inventory of notable people are events parallel mine closely. I thoroughly enjoyed Loser. Highly starred and backed!

Maevesleibhin wrote 366 days ago

Loser,
I really enjoyed what I read, although I found that it is entirely too short of a posting to sink my teeth into. I liked it so much that I went to read your other book after I had read the regrettably short segment of Loser that you have put up. It is based on the obvious talent shown in the two books together that I am backing this. Do let me know if you post more.
Hook and plot: Great start to a character-driven novel with an unstable first person narrator.  I will say that I found the bit about the stained financial magazines a bit much, and almost an early turn off. On the other hand, it does add a bit to the pathetic absurdity of his situation, and gives the read a surreal twist early on. I think you do a fantastic job doling out information about his obsession with the yearbook and his youth- enough to make me curious for more, and always at good pace that is neither forced nor dragging.
The introduction to his messed-up character was enough to make feel almost grateful to the psychiatrist who offered to cure him almost pro-bono, and a real sense of shock and surprise when he finds out what happens to her. It is great pacing, dangling a character development carrot in front of the reader and then killing it randomly.  
And the introduction of the crazed neighbour is so vey well made that when the dog bites him and the more exciting parts of the plot begin I feel the progression is very natural. (By the way, I did not think you needed the cliffhanger line "I didn’t know it then, but every step I took from then on was toward a future both unimaginable and well overdue". It is a detail but it stayed in my mind after reading the section as a line that was a bit unnecessary.  
What makes this a really fun book is the introduction of the girl, which is what everything up to there is working up to. You had me at the tattoo, and I was very pleased with her treatment of the dog and her medical skills.
This is very good, fun plot progression, and I would (as I keep telling you) happily read more. Maybe even spent a few quid to do so.
Character development- I don't generally read pitches, so I was settling down to a introspective, character driven first person narrative when I started reading. This is to say that your first person CD is very good. You were very effective in bringing a sense of both disdain and sympathy in me, and I was prepared to follow this character into his demise. Again, I think a lot of your success comes from the doling out of information about his past, which expands the vision. I think, again, where CD was the weakest was in the very start, when he was at the library, but it might be just because I was turned off by the aforementioned gag about financial mags.
The girl is mad, and a bit of a fixture, so not really developed. So, too, with the neighbour. Doesn't really mater, though, because it is all about him.
Ambiance and descriptions- Not a very observant fellow, I don't feel your character really notices his surroundings much, and I don't feel a very strong sense of place in the macro sense. On the other hand, descriptions of details, from the dog, to the girl (what a great intro "No more than five feet tall and as pale as a moon flower, the off-white scrubs she wore were at least two sizes too big for her willowy frame.") I am not sure that this is a big deal, but I think a bit more place description would make the read a bit more enjoyable.
Mechanics- I was not reading for typos, but I did notice a bit of informality with quotation marks when he speaks.
So I really like this and would read further. I have backed it and given it stars and whatnot. :)
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

DCHedlin wrote 396 days ago

Quick, lively, dynamic and funny in a Martin Amis-y way. I thought it took off beginning in Chapter 2. You begin with references to the two 'good' books, which is an interesting idea that doesn't become as much as it might. Which is tied in with the need for psychiatric care. Which also doesn't develop. Though there is wonderful potential for development of both the ideas.

It seems beginning in Chapter 2 that we're dealing with something quite new, which works well on its own, from Saul through the hospital, and the 'nurse'. And because it has an anarchic feel to it one doesn't need much background, just the absurdities that capture the idea of his inner/outer world. He's the victim, willingly so, passively so, who might take more futile meaning from things than he seems to, letting things happen as he does. The funniest part, the best done comical part, regards the dog and the door, then it gets a touch fuzzy, before the dog comes clear again and his arm turns to meat, and he seems so disenchanted and disengaged. It moves smoothly with as much meaning as necessary into the hospital, though the intervention of the girl in scrubs might be so slightly cleared up to give the reader a boost in accepting that he would receive the ministrations of someone so obviously not belonging to the hospital.

So my issue is with the first chapter that seems apart from the Chapters 2 and 3. I haven't read 4 and 5 yet. But given the brevity of the story, it wouldn't make sense to create such a significant role for a yearbook, a bible and a psychiatrist, only to cut them off, go even without allusions, except for some God-thought now and then.

In short, I think you have an interesting idea with some parts farther along in literary development than others, a keenly sardonic mind that engages the reader, and keeps the reader going along in spite of some shortcomings. An agent would think differently, would want something more polished, would want clearer integration of its parts.

Though the central character is fun. His pain antiseptic. His life hopeless.

David Hedlin
Moon's Wallow

newwriter2010 wrote 441 days ago

Thought the book was very well written and I thoroughly enjoyed the original idea. Good look with your climb up the ratings.

Andrea Taylor wrote 462 days ago

This is incredible. I could not stop reading. It's clever and funny and sad and everything in-between. I did stop reading but only because people needed to eat, so for now I will just say 6 outstanding stars,on my WL and Bookshelf when I next have the guts to throw someone off.
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

Nancy1974 wrote 464 days ago

I enjoyed this book very much and have backed it.
Good luck!!
From
Nancy

Seringapatam wrote 469 days ago

This is not my cup of tea but so well written. There is a cracking theme to your writing that I could watch all day. I am so jealous of some of the talent on this site and you are one of them people. You hcae pulled something wonderful out of the bag here, but dont let that sound as if you have created something off the cuff as I know there will have been a lot of work here. So well done and a big score from me.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R)..... Please consider me for a read or watch List if you get a moment wont you? Happy New Year. Sean

subra_2k123 wrote 470 days ago

Hi Gerald, I started reading 'Loser' an hour ago and got instantly hooked. I am wondering now, why didn't I do this long ago. You have a smooth but hilarious dialogue and what I liked most is the quick and comfortable pace. You might irk some of the godly people, but your observations on god, are completely reasonable. I would be reading further. But at my tea break I thought it is prudent to pass this comment, shower high stars and W/L. I will comment further at my dinner break.
I request you to spare some of your valuable time on my book Ozoneraser.
venkatarama
Ozoneraser

subra_2k123 wrote 477 days ago

Nice pitch.

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

Jaclyn Aurore wrote 493 days ago

Hi there,

I read the first chapter of your book and was drawn in completely... per the pitch, i figured this would be the case, but even still, my jaw dropped at the revelation of the car crash... he's got so much going on, so many problems, that the therapist is willing to work for such a low price... freaking wow... and then... well ... wow...

well written, high stars... no wonder this is doing so well... after one chapter only, i needed to comment!

best of luck,
Jaclyn x
It Never Happened

Paris Singer wrote 508 days ago

Succinctly put, this book rocks-the characters, the dialogue, the narrative...Everything. I look forward to reading more and I think it's fair to say it will stay on my shelf.

David
Shadows of Perception

CARite wrote 523 days ago

Loser- The writing is incredible....slicing into the psyche of the main character and revealing a raw hurt interior...well done...I was only going to read the first chapter, but read the whole thing...keep going...
Cindy
CADreilling - The Line - Beginnings

Just Joey wrote 527 days ago

Loved your opening, dude. You got yourself a place on my shelf.

JPM

Lara wrote 534 days ago

Nicely written premise, and the work doesn't disappoint. From the moment the nurse takes charge, I was hooked. Backed and recommended.
Lara
A RELATIVE INVASION

Di Manzara wrote 563 days ago

Wow! Congratulations Gerald!

You're nearly there! You deserve it!

All the best,
D
Leo & Rover: The Purple Marble Adventures

Abby Vandiver wrote 591 days ago

This is different, but I liked it!

Abby

Nanty wrote 592 days ago

Loser.

'...over time I fell out of hate with the Bible...' - Great line, the first of many.
This is sharp, snappy prose. It was only when I had finished reading everything the author has posted on the site that I realised his anti-hero is nameless, and it really didn't matter. I was swept along by his guilt-ridden life and sense of hopelessness, induced by seemingly horrific past events, all wrapped in dark humour.
Mauled by a physco neighbour's dog and virtually kidnapped by the Emo nurse it would seem the MC is about to find a back-bone and deal with issues dogging him, or not.
One complaint - why only four chapters? The fifth was missing when I read and if you have put more on site I would have read on.

LCF Quartet wrote 598 days ago

Dear Gerald,
Wow! I liked your sense of humor and metaphoric approach to daily matters.
"..., but until then I'd pay it the same respect God had ever paid me." This is so human!!!
"...whiter than God's butt cheeks." Bold yet naive.
I enjoyed it very much the way you introduced Cara and Saul. It was smooth. Your pace is appealing and your voice so cool. This is my kind of stuff to read.
"...., I staggered and nausea brought me violently to my knees." This is the caliber of unpredictability that I respect in a novel. Witty maneuvers!
Gerald, we all have a loser in us, so I believe you pressed a good point. You may also be interested in Ten Deep Footprints, where the losers of yesterday become the winners of tomorrow. My female characters smoke marijuana, have abortions and one of them is forced to watch when her husband is oral-raped by a bully. I also look forward to your comments and will be glad if you could take me to your book shelf or to your watch list. I'll be uploading some more soon, and will be back to you with more comments. You've been in my watch list and you will stay there until you make it to the ED.
Best wishes,
Lucette Cohen Fins-LCF QUARTET
Ten Deep Footprints

Curt/Lisa wrote 602 days ago

We like the way your book tells this story. Good luck and we are backing for now.

Maria_Strat wrote 602 days ago

Good book. I hope to keep you on my shelf for a while.

Sly80 wrote 603 days ago

Not sure what to make of this, aside from it being fascinating. The teaming up of the wimp with the fearless Emo makes a brilliant contrast, the social commentary is understated and amusing, the story itself is witty on the surface, but with something dark moving underneath, and when you think you've caught a glimpse of what it is, there's an even darker shadow beneath that. The writing is stunning and I've noted some of the phrases that struck me below. Highly starred and backed

"sobbing silently into a clenched fist"

"Doctor Dietz was dead. Road kill." He's not a lucky chap, is he?

"freight train of muscles and razor blades"

"Emo nurse with a graveyard tan"

"playing eyebrow poker"

"she was Medusa and Aries all in one pasty white package of venom and pride"

Tweak: "weekly grocery shopping, or smoked pot" You need that comma unless it's the teachers smoking pot

Catembi wrote 618 days ago

A very odd book! Not sure whether it's totally my cup of tea, but it's definitely very pacey & utterly unique - and unique isn't easy to do these days when pretty well everything has been done to death before.

I'm going to watch this one and see what happens!

krishna Bhatt wrote 625 days ago

good read.

Yvaine wrote 627 days ago

I love the theme fro this book, C

Angelica50 wrote 632 days ago

A loser with an exceptional (if weird sometimes) sense of humour and excellent writing skills. It's got to be a winner. For all it's worth, six stars and a place on my shelf.
Angie

EddieSS wrote 638 days ago

I am reading your book am enjoying it. I hope you do well and continue to strive to reach the TOP 5. Get that Gold Medal, your book is worth it.

Jane Mauret wrote 653 days ago

Hello, Gerald D Johnston - Loser
Your writing is the most original I have come across on the site. Novel metaphors and smilies which paint vivid, quirky images of characters and events. Sometimes, though, I felt overwhelmed by the wordage (is that a word?!) - like scoffing back 2 large boxes of chocolates in one go. I know it is hard to let great phrasing go but judicial edting means that the cuts can be recycled in future work. I was pleased at the black/dry comedy which is a great gift, not one that can be contrived so you are lucky to be a natural in that department. I can imagine this book getting to publish stage. Good Luck
Jane Mauret (formerly Shannahan)

Jane Shannahan wrote 662 days ago

Hello, Gerald
Your writing is the most original I have come across on the site. Novel metaphors and smilies which paint vivid, quirky images of characters and events. Sometimes, though, I felt overwhelmed by the wordage (is that a word?!) - like scoffing back 2 large boxes of chocolates in one go. I know it is hard to let great phrasing go but judicial edting means that the cuts can be recycled in future work. I was pleased at the black/dry comedy which is a great gift, not one that can be contrived so you are lucky to be a natural in that department. I can imagine this book getting to publish stage. Good Luck.
Jane Shannahan

stearn37 wrote 667 days ago

Excellent can't wait for more!!!

From
John stearn (author of Derilium)

1x80 wrote 713 days ago

Chapter 1 - I thought this was a little hard to follow until I got into the flow.
Your main guy is really disturbing, and very hard to like or care about, but he does make me wonder what he's capable of doing and what's going to happen to him.
When Avery's doctor died he seemed not very worried or upset about her, but about how it affected (or is it effected? Always get them mixed up) him, which I thought was very realistic and very under-done in other books.

Paul Haston wrote 720 days ago

I'm reading and enjoying...backed with pleasure.

davesealey wrote 722 days ago

Gerry,

Gerry Gerry Gerry,

"Loser" is amazing! You remind me of a more muscular Robert Rankin by way of Elmore Leonard. I love your noirish overture and sci-fi parodying undertones, in some ways this even reminds me of my own book "No Excuse Bruce." It is exactly the kind of story I want to read :)

Your writing is pacy, poetic and hilarious as well as technically excellent. I would love to proffer forth a correction or two but it is also extremely well edited.

Have you only written up to Chapter 5 or are you holding out on us? I want more, i'm addicted man! "Loser" is the crack of Authonomy, hehe.

Keep up the good work, I'd love to know what you think of "No Excuse Bruce" too if you get a chance. Six stars and I shall recommend you too :)

Dave

Daniel Rider wrote 732 days ago

I wasn't sure about this book to start with, I'll be honest. I was drawn in by the intriguing pitch, however, and the fact is it's certainly kept my interest. There's a lot of mystery, a lot of tantalizing hints, a lot of unanswered questions in the beginning of this book. I have a feeling that some readers might be turned off by this and give up reading. But there will be a whole lot of other readers--myself included--who will stay to learn more, and they will be rewarded, not necessarily by answers, at least not right away, but by an engaging, flowing style and narrative voice and some excellent humor and exciting scenes. While much is narrative, albeit engaging, interesting narrative, the scenes where something happens to the narrator really pop: the visit with the sympathetic shrink is touching and the dialogue sharp, the offshoot gutwrenching; the dog attack is shocking and highly sensory, while at the same time it gives us a better view of the narrator; the scene with the fake nurse is bizarre, but believable, and most of all compelling.

I've read three chapters, and I'll read more. I'll also be putting it on my bookshelf. It's not something that will appeal to everybody, but there's no denying that it catches the interest and holds it. I think it deserves to be published. It's polished and seems ready to go. I hope you find an editor who can get fully behind it. This is good stuff!

johnpatrick wrote 738 days ago

Fantastic writing.
I start these reviews wondering how far I'll get before something upsets the flow with the narrative. But the smoothness to your writing is almost soapy. You glide through it.
The sentence 'I've taken the guided tour through Hell and have...' was the point where I felt a slight hiccup but only because it is such a huge statement-a big ask. You have set yourself a signicant task in justifying that statement. But I feel confident you wouldn't come up short.
Delicious humour.
I'll probably cheapen any meaning my words have now by mentioning Holden Caulfield but that is who I am reminded of here. Not because they are similar, more so how they are conveyed to the reader's imagination.
Thank you Gerald.
To be backed soon.
Like the blog btw, is that why don't you leave more comments here on Autho?
John
Dropping Babies

Shelby Z. wrote 739 days ago

This is an odd book but very well written. The idea is really different.
The style develops slowly but in a way that catches the readers interest.
The pitch also is a huge drawer because it has interest of curiosity in it.
The title is creative too.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

SPW wrote 739 days ago

This is an effing good read.

Seriously, I can only say 'Bravo!' on yet another truly excellent yarn. Top stuff in all respects.

Nailed to my shelf and all the stars.

Simon.
Yuko Zen and other scribbles.

fictionguy wrote 739 days ago

This is more popular culture novel than literary novel. It will sing to the people in your age bracket and give you a lot of high fives. It should be a good seller once it gets published. My grand daughter loved it. Good luck.

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