Book Jacket

 

rank 4275
word count 68675
date submitted 22.12.2011
date updated 10.01.2013
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Thriller...
classification: moderate
complete

Posthuman

Chavonne Brown

In 2100, humanity will be destroyed. In 2100, humanity will be reborn, the most fortunate will retain their sanity.

 

Marcus Sewell had a wife and child, he had friends, he had a loving father that adored his only son's family.

The Flash brought the Ragnarok Virus, and with that his world ended. Marcus lost everything he ever knew, he could not bare to stay in a place where his dreams had died. He moved to the other side of America, he lives a life without real friends and where he has not spoken to what remains of his family in years.

In 2100, Providence comes to America, bringing with them the hope for a tomorrow not so filled with desperation. Where everyone else sees a beacon to lead them out of the darkness, Marcus sees a mysterious power whose highest workings are shrouded in secrecy. He enlists with them, to find out for himself what is in the belly of this smiling beast.

The feral tribes and mindless necrophids which haunt the edges of this fragile world will turn out to be the smallest challenge, hiding the much more immense task of deciphering Providence.

Marcus must be careful to not lose himself; in a world like this, his principles are all he has.

 
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tags

evolution, humanity, isolation, living dead, madness, morality, psychic, rebellion

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Chapters

13

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Chapter Eleven

Marcus' Pegasus helicopter circled Kalemie, a port town on the banks of Lake Tanganyika. A Congolese army barracks and naval administration base were stationed here, they were responsible for the government's military interests in Tanganyika Province. Marcus had been sent to check in on the local Providence Littoral Force station and III Corps barracks.

His helicopter landed at the III Corps barracks; he had left the LF station after an excellent inspection which would doubtless result in a glowing report. Marcus was received by the commanding officer of the barracks, a Captain Lukungu, and his lieutenant, Ndango. “Colonel Sewell, those reinforcements from Kinshasa, whilst welcome, are unnecessary,” boasted Lukungu, he pointed at the barracks garage; ten Buster APCs were parked there.

“We'll see about that,” murmured Clement to Marcus, Lukungu glared at the commandant, Clement stared him down. The captain glanced away, somewhat put out, and walked off ostensibly to speak with a sergeant – not tend to his wounded pride. Marcus bit down laughter; he didn't think it'd look all that fantastic for the general's senior aide to mock Providence officers.

Ndango cocked his head, “What do you mean by that, Commandant Ncube?”

A rebel attack on Kalemie is expected fairly soon,” revealed Clement, that tired expression of his had returned, “I do hope we aren't here for that.” Marcus learned Clement found actual fighting rather distasteful, Ncube had come across as more of an analyst. The commandant agreed to come to Kalemie when Marcus had promised he would not have to accompany him anywhere else. Ndango nodded sagely, a good officer should be able to anticipate a major enemy movement, and definitely at a time like this. Marcus allowed himself to be guided around every corner of the camp; he even led several impromptu drills, as he liked keeping the troops on their toes. Clement worked on his SuperCom throughout – nodding and making noises of assent when his input was required.

“Colonel Sewell!” Lukungu shouted as he sprinted at Marcus. Marcus had heard that tone before, from Warrant Officer Washikala – something was FUBAR. Just once he would like to leave Kinshasa and not find himself vanguard a hastily drawn-up counter-attack.

“Rebels are coming at us from the lake. They've got armoured yachts and air-cushioned landing craft. A few craft have made landfall on the banks of the Lukuga River,” Lukungu had strapped himself into his SPDV and grabbed his weapons. His make of helmet covered his entire face; its electronic visor ensured he had still full visibility. The men Marcus had led in a drill sprang into action; Busters steamed past the gates of the barracks, a handful of helicopters went up in the air.

Clement shut off his interface and performed such a paradigm shift that Marcus thought someone had switched places with the commandant. Ncube weaved through the organised chaos of the barracks, and then ran back to Marcus. He and their chopper pilot had returned with a cache that contained both his and the colonel's combat gear. “Stop being surprised and get your kit on. I didn't get my job by standing around and looking pretty,” quipped Clement, aware Marcus considered him an apathetic pencil-pusher. Time to show his fellow aide-de-camp that Commandant Clement Ncube held commission for a reason.

 

MPO Rourke crouched behind an overturned market stall, fruit squelched at the press of his boot. His sergeant, Myers, was across the street, hidden in the shadow of a house. Rebels had struck so suddenly he'd barely had time to find cover, he might be with the army but Rourke wasn't a soldier. A body lay in the street between him and Myers, that was MPO Clark, or it would be more accurate to say that had been MPO Clark. Where Clark had stood probably saved his life, the spray of bullets which had commenced hostilities came right at Clark and Rourke. Clark was in front of him when it happened, his comrade's body had caught those bullets. Rourke had time to scramble for shelter in the few short moments of Clark's death.

That's where he found himself now, pinned down in the market, rebels bearing down on him.

Their helicopter had made straight for where the river ran through town. Clement spotted rebels motoring upriver, beaching their transports but eventually lost sight of them as they scattered. “Take us down,” Clement called loudly to his pilot, the chopper stopped circling and dipped low. It swooped down, right above the market, and then he jumped. He tucked as he hit the ground and rolled flawlessly into cover. Clement sprinted quickly from stall to stall, kept his head low, searched for those who had jumped alongside him. A screech, Clement slid onto his stomach; he anticipated the anti-personnel missile's trajectory so that it careened rapidly past him.

Clement sprang onto his hands and knees then bounded forwards, a practised tumble comfortably placed a house between himself and his attackers. He angled his Viper battle rifle around a corner of the house, a volley of gunshots blared at him. Clement fired blindly, his weapon's rate of fire easily outclassed any small arms that rebels fielded. Several panicked French exclamations and one call suddenly cut short told Clement he was on the right track. He turned on his heel and sneaked around the house’s other corner. As he suspected, his enemies thought they should try to outflank him. Clement opened fire; the rebels were caught in their own trap.

Marcus had come down not too far from Clement but wasn't nearly as fast as the commandant. Ncube had disappeared in a labyrinth of stalls, carts and poorly-built houses. Though none of that mattered right now, he had happened upon a pair of military policemen in a fix.

One crouched in of front an upended market stall; the other pressed themselves to the side of a house. A corpse lay face down in the street that separated them.

Marcus deduced the reason for their less than proactive attitudes – as he peered from his hiding spot inside of one of the few stores – a remote controlled turret menaced them. The gunner must be nearby, long-range RC turrets were too expensive for most national armies, and an insurgency certainly couldn't afford any.

Marcus crept out of the store and took up position behind a house. He knew the gunner was close, not in a place where the police could see from their current positions though. He edged along the wall and turned the right corner, the colonel tread carefully from behind one wall to be behind another. Soon he overtook the turret and assessed the street to its rear.

There they were, one rebel held a console in his hand, a pistol in his other. His guard had a sniper rifle over his shoulder and a sub-machine gun in his hands. The idiot who held the console wore a bandanna. Did these people need to be clichés? Marcus hoped the rebel gunner appreciated the irony of being killed by a single shot to the head; after all, he had chosen to wear a bit of cloth instead of a helmet. Marcus sheered through the other rebel's hamstrings; no one had thought to recover someone for interrogation.

“Officers, I've apprehended a rebel fighter,” said Marcus to the MPOs who hovered not too far from him, they had crawled out of hiding when the turret stopped, “Make sure he gets to Kinshasa.”

Clement had joined up with a squad led by Lieutenant Ndango as they approached where Boulevard Lumumba crossed the Lukuga River. The squad was arranged into two-man teams, each in charge of a PM-132 Hell Pike anti-tank missile system.

Ndango fielded a PM-Z108 OCSW, a belt-fed grenade machine fun colloquially referred to as the She-Wolf by most and the mother-in-law autocannnon by others – thanks to its sheer capacity for glorious destruction. Clement felt more than a little inadequate, until he remembered, rather joyously, he had a laser designator on his person.

Those rebels at the river had no idea what they were in for.

Marcus trudged along Boulevard Lumumba, he had helped clear the market place of rebels but had yet to hear any news from the south side of Kalemie. That's when he saw four Hell Pike missiles soar into the sky and arc towards the river banks. Flaming exhaust fumes powered out of the missiles, urged the ordnance onwards. Mushroom clouds bloomed, and a mechanical thundering that could only belong to a She-Wolf shook the ground under his feet. More black clouds of fiery smoke billowed into existence. Then an unexpected pièce de résistance, as a drone whizzed overhead and unleashed its payload. Six guided bombs pierced the water's surface, and moments later six monumental explosions tore to shreds every craft they touched. Asymmetric warfare for you, Marcus had no idea why the rebels thought they might ever win.

Chapters

13

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mdws77 wrote 190 days ago

I like your novel very much and hope to read more later. For now, Chapter 1 was all I could read due to time constraints. Overall, you story flows well and you do a very good job of describing your characters. One thing to watch out for are the long sentences and long paragraphs. They seem to take away from the story. I hope this novel goes well for you.
Here are some grammar issues:
Chapter 1:
"-never" -- Starting your story with a dash, even in a quote, seems awkward. I would just go with "I've never".
"out of the ether; he" -- Not sure "ether" is the right word for here. Ether is a gas that can be used to make people unconscience. I would use "out of the heavens. He", or "out of the atmosphere. He". Notice you need to end the sentence there also.
"would allow, he had the ball" -- Period/new sentence after "allow".
"He was determined to not lose to a ten year old boy, he jumped at the home plate, sure he had Will." -- Period/new sentence after "boy". Also, I would reword "sure he had Will". I think you mean "knowing for sure that he had Will".

Neville wrote 255 days ago

Post Human.
By Chavonne Brown.


Good description and a feeling or warmth as the story opens.
George Sewell, son, Marcus and grandson, Will, all enjoying a ball game.
Lovely how you bring out the happiness of this particular scene, it really is nice writing.
We’re brought down to earth by a sudden flash on the horizon—the Ragnarok Virus has landed destroying all within its luminous range.
Very good cover and both pitches draw any potential reader into opening the book.
A most exciting read so far, one that I’ll return to (problems with the site).
Many stars for a brilliant read up to now.
Well done!

Best wishes,

Neville. ‘The Secrets of the Forest –Cosmos 501’ (Series) Book Two.

Tod Schneider wrote 274 days ago

You do a great job establishing setting and characters in the ordinary world in chapter one -- the classic middle American family, easy to root for, and good dialogue that rings true.
Critique-wise I found a few things to nitpick in chapter one as follows:
The paragraph "he was determined to not lose..." was hard for me to follow, not quite clear who was where, and it tended to run on, with too many phrases in one sentence separated just by commas. I'd clarify and break this into smaller pieces.
"but time gets away from him and he still had plenty" was a little awkward, switching tenses.
after the sentence that ends "...why stay here?" I think you can drop "Marcus decided to keep up this vein of discussion" . It's stating the obvious, and its telling when you've already done a perfectly good job showing.
The other thing I noticed was quite a few run on sentences. I'd say look for any sentence with two or more commas and consider making them into multiple sentences. A couple examples: "...excuse to drink this weekend (cut comma, insert period)" and "brighter and brighter (cut comma, insert period.)
Just my opinion of course. These are little things, and the rest of it is really nice writing that rolls along smoothly.Best of luck with this!
Tod
And if you have any interest in children's literature, you are invited to check out my novel, the Lost Wink.
Thanks!
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Searcher wrote 326 days ago

Chapt 8 ..can't figure out how you did the 1st & 2nd ..nice

Chapt 8 .. 9th para starting Chihuahua looked to be .. etc .. 2nd sentence ...etc ..New York had been given a new lease of (on?) life ..I think should be new lease on life .. (Oops! just found out British say "of life" Americans "on life" per online dictionary ..interesting!

Authonomy Chapt 11 (Book Chapt 9) .. 5th para .. Starting You were stabbed .. etc .. No one expected the rebels to have venoms from foreign snakes to (on) hand

writing is excellent .. just watch using Marcus's name so often .. looking at bottom of Chapt 11 .. Marcus starts off last 3 paras ... 3 in a row on Chapt 10 too. Be back to read more later!

Hi Chavonne, I'm going to go out on a limb here & ignore this if you don't like it. Chapter 1 (Opening-Marcus Sewell) is important. It shows Marcus's family life ...but .. the real story begins next Chapter. People quite often open to the first page & stop if it doesn't appeal to them. What do you think of cutting Chapter 1 down to get to the "guts" of the story quicker. Keep all of it down to Amen brother, I'll drink to that ..etc .. and you need that last paragraph but the four above the last para could be condensed into 2 fairly small ones... I think. Starting with "Come on Will! ...(then skip to next paragraph and keep it all ... next paragraph start with 2nd sentence "The Sewell's headed home after the game so they could get ready for a well deserved victory party. George had the grill going and lazily flipped burgers. Soon Marcus heard the honking bus horn, signaling the arrival of ten incredibly happy young baseball players, followed by several cars of proud parents.

Now all of last paragraph ... He drew Amy close and they both watched ...etc..

(Just a thought & if you don't like it .. don't do it!)

The world as it is now .. Good job! .. only this .."The survivors came in three varieties; for some, death would have been easier."

Chapt 1 .. Only this .. Someone knocked three times at the front door. (period) A few moments ...etc

Chapt 2 .. love that "Gossip spread it's wings and flew all about the streets"

New paragraph? As Marcus understood it, he was Homo sapiens ..etc (you love those big paragraphs lol)
New paragraph? Marcus was still a member of the National Guard ..etc

Your writing is absolutely incredible! Only one thought here .. At times the name Marcus stands out too often. I wonder if that's because you start out lots of sentences with his name. Perhaps if you rearrange "some" (just a few) of the sentences so his name appears later it might help (I do understand you need to say his name so we know who the sentence is referring to.) For instance Chapt 2 .. 2nd para Mayor D'Amico liaised extensively ..etc .. 2nd time you use Marcus was still a member of the National Guard ..etc.. Instead maybe .. "Still a member of the National Guard, Marcus was obliged to be .. etc...

Will read more later ... I think you have an incredible story going! Whew! ..I need to get out a dictionary to keep up with you!

One question?? How do you look cruel in a very special way? Interesting .. made me think! Nice line!

Jane

scargirl wrote 332 days ago

engaging premise here. in the short pitch the last sentence would benefit from a semi-colon, making it stronger.
j
wewsk

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 335 days ago

Chevonne,
What a concept, an apocalyptic event wipes out most of humanity, the suvivors transhumans, and two hostile subspecies. Your protagonist Marcus is faced with major challenges, the latest of wehich is the appearance of another group of morphed humans called "daemons." Your prose is casual and direct, your dialogue clear and unaffected. Thank you for the intriguing read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Searcher wrote 335 days ago

Wow! Forget everything I said ... Loving it!

Oh yes, that's so much easier to read! Nice job! Now I feel like I'm watching baseball ..! You have really nice word choices ... very descriptive! Your phrases makes the reader feel comfortable and easy to identify with your characters. I love that "a big, dumb smile on his face."

Another suggestion .. This is something I have trouble with too and am currently trying to fix in my book. Be careful using redundant or repetitive words .. extra words slow the story down. At least that's what I've been told & finding it to be true. Unless, of course, it's something you're emphasizing in the story. I don't see it much in your story but occasionally.

For instance, "Sure I will, just listen out for the guy cheering ... etc ... I think if you leave the word "out" out, the sentence will read smoother. Sure I will, just listen for the guy cheering ..etc... but that's just my own personal taste. That sentence may have been a bad example. You may like out there but you get the idea.

Further down in Chapt 1 you have leapt up ... since leapt implies up .. the word "up" is redundant. You don't need it.

Watch your periods too. In that 1st paragraph the 1st sentence should end .. took his dad's suitcase from him. (period) .. new sentence ------> George would never admit it ...etc ...

Just a few thoughts from a novice ... I think it may help polish your story!

I'm off to read a little more of your story!

Jane

Searcher wrote 336 days ago

Hi Chavonne, Your hook caught me! I've glanced at a few different chapters of your story. I think it might be a good idea to break up your larger paragraphs into smaller ones. It would make them easier to read. In your 1st paragraph at the beginning of your book ... I think you could begin a new paragraph with the sentence, .. Will, Marcus' son, bounced up ... etc ...

I don't understand the beginning sentence in your 2nd paragraph .. Marcus found himself stood some .. maybe a missing word? I do that sometimes when I don't like a word ... take it out & sometimes forget to replace it.

I like the story's idea. I just wish your paragraphs weren't so large. It would make it easier for my old eyes to read.

Jane Lawry
The Genealogist: On Holy Ground

scargirl wrote 400 days ago

the pitch needs some work here. you have developed a good base. now make it larger than life instead of reading like a newsclip.
j

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