Book Jacket

 

rank 5908
word count 14437
date submitted 13.01.2012
date updated 31.01.2012
genres: Literary Fiction, Popular Culture, ...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Pervert: The Making of an American Pariah

Thomas McCrea

Frightening and bitterly funny, this story of a man falsely accused of a heinous crime by a bitter ex-wife is timely and entertaining.

 

Trip Payne is going through a divorce. He thinks it is going well for him and that his chance of getting joint custody of his son is pretty good. What he doesn’t know is that he has completely underestimated the lengths his soon-to-be ex wife will go to get what she wants. On his way home from work one day he is pulled over for what he believes is a routine traffic stop. It is anything but routine. His wife has found an ingenious way to turn the tables on their divorce proceedings. She has planted child pornography on the computer they share and reported it to the police.
Trip refuses to make a statement to the police until he has a chance to speak to an attorney. What he doesn’t know is that it does not work like you see on television. No attorney arrives at the station to speak to him and he is unceremoniously booked into the county jail. He is placed in a pod with dozens of men accused of every type of crime imaginable to await his trial.

 
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tags

crime, criminal, divorce, funny, gritty, humor, jail, justice, law, lawyers, sarcastic, touching

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5 comments

 

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JKass wrote 790 days ago

gripping title. A great amount of tension is played up as he rots in jail, makes you sympathize with the MC and see him as a real person, well done. W/l'd so i can come back to it, highly starred. Great read!

Juliet Ann wrote 821 days ago

I've read five chapters of this now. In the main it is very interesting read and I like your no nonsense, direct style, however I want to know more about the situation that landed him in the prison. Was he still living with his wife and son? Does he not have any friends/ colleagues that he has contacted to help him prove his innocence. How does he feel about his wife, where does he think she got the pictures from, why would she frame him so viciously. Who visits him? How did he react when his attorney visited? Give me more of his emotions and frailty and less commentary on the situation. Of course this is just my opinion and I would wait for others before making any major changes. Good luck. Juliet

Warrick Mayes wrote 823 days ago

Thomas,

Great first chapter. Wonderful opening, lovely ending to the chapter and some great dialogue and wonderful flowing narrative in-between.

The dialogue , especially, and the throw-away comments make the story for me.
There's one bit I would change. Early on you write "...I said a short prayer that I not got a ticket. “Please God don’t let me get a ticket..."" Firstly it looks like you left out "had" - "...that I had not got a ticket..." but personally I would completely drop the obvious repetition, and go with "I said a short prayer “Please God don’t let me get a ticket..." This would flow much better.

Best regards
Warrick

Juliet Ann wrote 825 days ago

Read the first 3 chapters and will be continuing. Less convinced by chapter 3 - the Beast and the machine - and wonder if you should keep the narrative tight to what is happening now, rather than reflecting as knowing he is going to be there for long time reduces the tension for me. Juliet

iandsmith wrote 827 days ago

Chapter 1 enjoyable and frightening in equal proportions. It really kicks off in the cell with Grossly. I want to read on and find out what's going to happen. On my WL.

On a tech note: Some line breaks came out at the wrong place which are worth fixing. I don't know if anyone else sees them wrong, but I know you uploaded today so I thought I'd flag it.

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