Turnips and Tulips: Cameos by Shirley G. Kelly

Aww Shirley Grace
Grinning from ear to ear....got as far as the fifth story...you are The Storyteller...can relate to it all...especially the Beer and excuses for a drink...never thought bout it before but your so right...absolutely blooming brilliant ...
High stars from me...on my WL...will be back for more x
Will look at your other Prose too..

Dee

Hi Shirley Grace ...

This is delightful; it is as though we are sitting talking on the porch in a couple of rocking chairs, whilst watching the sun go down. There are places where the writing is a little clumsy to European ears, but I think this only serves to add to the charm of these rustic pieces. I particularly like the way you stop and have 'second thoughts' in places, which make the pieces more conversational. Backed and rated. Regards ... Duncan.

TURNIPS & TULIPS
Reading this book is like drawing in a breath of fresh air: a collection of short, often very funny antedotes that keeps you reading and reading. I read the first one about the rooster then jumped to the one about the lobster and the “they say clichés”; enjoyed those so much, I then went back and read all of the chapters. The antedotes are very well written and easy to read. I think you’ll find an audience for this among people looking for a fun read, maybe as “airplane or bedtime reading.” Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Dear Shirley
what a wonderful selection of topics for Turnips and Tulips. I especially like "The Code", immediately I could relate with the love of cooking and hatred for grocery shopping.
You made me laugh and I felt thoroughly delighted with the more I read.
A thoroughly engaging and enjoyable read.
Regards
Maya
"Away With The Mountains"

"Get mommy! I've kill't myself!" I really liked that one. My mother used to tell me I was going to "wake up dead." Looks like that's what happend to the boy in Chapter 7. Didn't quite get Lucifer. But the stories were wonderful. You have to work on your pitch so people won't miss this good book. Break it up into paragraphs.

Good job and many stars from me.

Abby.

Hi Shirley, here for the return read!
These are charming anecdotes, and it made them very easy to read and enjoy. I couldn't find anything to critique, because it's aready well-polished. These were my thoughts:

Chapter 1
- I have nothing to comment on, except that it must’ve been a terrifying experience as much as it was a bit funny

Chapter 2
- Haha, true – ‘drinking is acceptable after an especially bad day or a really good day’

Chapter 3
- You write so clearly that it’s like I’m there with you – it’s great!
- I really like the chapter lengths, it makes it very easy to read.

I don’t have more time right now, but I’ll try to take a look at Sinja too.

Sabina Frost
Annie Get Your Ghost

Aww Shirley Grace
Grinning from ear to ear....got as far as the fifth story...you are The Storyteller...can relate to it all...especially the Beer and excuses for a drink...never thought bout it before but your so right...absolutely blooming brilliant ...
High stars from me...on my WL...will be back for more x
Will look at your other Prose too..

Dee

Hi Shirley Grace,
Let me start by saying, "You're awesome!"

Having read a portion of The Devil's Stepchild, I'm already familiar with your personal writing style...but this amazing book with many splendid short stories, only made me admire your work, and sense of humor one more time.

I've read a few random chapters -Lucifer, Barhopping, Wallnuts and Saga of the Sock for now, and watch-listed it for further comments asI reason,

Best wishes,
Lucette- Ten Deep Footprints

This is a lovely easy going book, written beautifully and full of surprises that make me smile. Top stars!!!

This tickled me. I love the light hearted feel to this book. You have put a lot of time and effort into it. The flow is spot on to where I need it to be. Scores high in my eyes. Well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R)

Shirley,

Sorry for the long delay, but I've had time now to read the stories you suggest, and wanted to give you some feedback.

I've read "Bees", "Sun Worshiper", "Door to the Moon and Stars", and "Peril of the Paratrooper". Overall, I think there is good writing here. Your description of the old man in "Sun Worshiper" is evidence of this. It is a fascinating little character sketch, though it is so short that my imagination feels as if it has only been allowed to sniff at a supper, instead of getting to do the eating that the sniffing encourages. In other words, I often like the writing here, but find myself wishing for more of a story, or more exploration of a character. I know your intention here is to give little snacks, not a whole meal, and perhaps these little snacks are simply too small for my liking. Others may like them more. But I generally found that however fascinating the titles were (and they certainly are: "Apple Butter Grenade", "Pissy Sissy", etc.), they were generally too light for my taste. So in general, I see some good writing here, but just not enough of a story, or character development, in each, for me to go on for very long in a book of this kind, however much others may like it.

In any case, I wish you the best with this, Shirley.

Now to a few specific comments, including grammar things people help with me all the time.

In "Sun Worshiper", I thought it was interesting how the narrator speaks of the man's demeanor being authoritative when his body language is submissive, but after thinking of this a little, I wondered whether this is possible. Can one's demeanor be authoritative if one's body language is submissive? Isn't one's demeanor largely determined by one's body language? "Demeanor" and "body language" almost seem like synonyms to me. And in your piece, the only way the reader knows that the man is not authoritative anymore is from interior thoughts of his that you give us to read. If we were only viewing his demeanor and body language, and not told his mindset, I don't see anything he does that shows submissiveness, unless it's in how he is eating his lunch. Is that it? There may be some subtle things here I am missing (which wouldn't be the first time!). But even if there are things about his body language that are submissive, then doesn't this change his demeanor to being more submissive? Anyhow, I liked your description.

I liked the countrified talking of many of your characters. Words like "Tolja" show that you've spent some time in the country! That's exactly how I say it, by the way. In one case, though, I think you've put an apostrophe where you don't need one, in "Peril of the Paratrooper". You write "hear'd" as if he's talking country and you're leaving out some sound he doesn't say, as in "goin' ", but "heard" is the full word, isn't it?

In that same story, I see a comma splice (only a comma joining two things that could be full sentences by themselves): "...their daddy was at work, the mother had gone to their aunt's...". Also, shouldn't "the mother" be "their mother" here?

In "Sun Worshiper", it seems you need a comma between "brave" and "courageous battle with time", as the two coordinate adjectives here modify "battle" equally, causing a logical, natural pause between the two words (as in "natural" and "logical" in this last sentence of mine).

In the same piece, it seems to me you only need a comma, not a semi-colon, after "continued studying". What comes next isn't long enough, and isn't another clause, which might justify the more substantial pause that a semi-colon or dash gives.

In the same piece, it seems to me that you don't need a comma after "set in stone". I'd actually put hyphens to "set-in-stone" here (as it is acting as an adjective) and then put the modified "mold" directly after its modifiers without any comma separating them, just as you wouldn't want any comma between the modifiers and the modified noun here: "deep, dark forest".

But these are small matters. I liked your writing. It's well done and easy on the ears. I give it high ratings.

All the best,

Jeff McInnis--Betwixt the Trees

In "Sun Worshiper" the man has always been in authority,it seems, and it is hard for him to give this up, but now his age and body will not allow him to do that. He isn't even sure of himself with peeling an orange. At the end he isn't even sure he will live another day. There IS a contradiction here because he wants to maintain power and strives to do this but can't.

Hi Shirley
Here is my long overdue return read (it;s been a hecktic week). I decided to read your Turnips and Tulips. I got to the end of chapter five. Although it was funny it was also horrible to read of the cruelty to the one legged chickens. I have given you high stars for this because it did make me laugh in places. Well done.
Brian.

Shirley,

Sorry for the long delay, but I've had time now to read the stories you suggest, and wanted to give you some feedback.

I've read "Bees", "Sun Worshiper", "Door to the Moon and Stars", and "Peril of the Paratrooper". Overall, I think there is good writing here. Your description of the old man in "Sun Worshiper" is evidence of this. It is a fascinating little character sketch, though it is so short that my imagination feels as if it has only been allowed to sniff at a supper, instead of getting to do the eating that the sniffing encourages. In other words, I often like the writing here, but find myself wishing for more of a story, or more exploration of a character. I know your intention here is to give little snacks, not a whole meal, and perhaps these little snacks are simply too small for my liking. Others may like them more. But I generally found that however fascinating the titles were (and they certainly are: "Apple Butter Grenade", "Pissy Sissy", etc.), they were generally too light for my taste. So in general, I see some good writing here, but just not enough of a story, or character development, in each, for me to go on for very long in a book of this kind, however much others may like it.

In any case, I wish you the best with this, Shirley.

Now to a few specific comments, including grammar things people help with me all the time.

In "Sun Worshiper", I thought it was interesting how the narrator speaks of the man's demeanor being authoritative when his body language is submissive, but after thinking of this a little, I wondered whether this is possible. Can one's demeanor be authoritative if one's body language is submissive? Isn't one's demeanor largely determined by one's body language? "Demeanor" and "body language" almost seem like synonyms to me. And in your piece, the only way the reader knows that the man is not authoritative anymore is from interior thoughts of his that you give us to read. If we were only viewing his demeanor and body language, and not told his mindset, I don't see anything he does that shows submissiveness, unless it's in how he is eating his lunch. Is that it? There may be some subtle things here I am missing (which wouldn't be the first time!). But even if there are things about his body language that are submissive, then doesn't this change his demeanor to being more submissive? Anyhow, I liked your description.

I liked the countrified talking of many of your characters. Words like "Tolja" show that you've spent some time in the country! That's exactly how I say it, by the way. In one case, though, I think you've put an apostrophe where you don't need one, in "Peril of the Paratrooper". You write "hear'd" as if he's talking country and you're leaving out some sound he doesn't say, as in "goin' ", but "heard" is the full word, isn't it?

In that same story, I see a comma splice (only a comma joining two things that could be full sentences by themselves): "...their daddy was at work, the mother had gone to their aunt's...". Also, shouldn't "the mother" be "their mother" here?

In "Sun Worshiper", it seems you need a comma between "brave" and "courageous battle with time", as the two coordinate adjectives here modify "battle" equally, causing a logical, natural pause between the two words (as in "natural" and "logical" in this last sentence of mine).

In the same piece, it seems to me you only need a comma, not a semi-colon, after "continued studying". What comes next isn't long enough, and isn't another clause, which might justify the more substantial pause that a semi-colon or dash gives.

In the same piece, it seems to me that you don't need a comma after "set in stone". I'd actually put hyphens to "set-in-stone" here (as it is acting as an adjective) and then put the modified "mold" directly after its modifiers without any comma separating them, just as you wouldn't want any comma between the modifiers and the modified noun here: "deep, dark forest".

But these are small matters. I liked your writing. It's well done and easy on the ears. I give it high ratings.

All the best,

Jeff McInnis--Betwixt the Trees

Usually, I stick with the motto: If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all. However, I don't think that this is the right way to go on this particular site. I refuse to be one of those who gives every read six stars and writes glowing but shallow reviews after reading a few words. I hope that you can accept this review in the spirit it was intended.

I will start off by saying that I understand that we all have different tastes and this is by its very nature a subjective review. With that said, I must say that although the story of the block and tackle revived some childhood memories, after reading through to chapter 5, I was ready to move on.

I had to think long and hard as to why I was not moved to read beyond the fourth chapter. It was certainly not due to lack of promising material! I finally decided it was because the stories are just too short for me to become really involved with them. Even the story of two Bobbies was more a litany of events recorded one after another rather than a character study of two interesting and quirky individuals. Sometimes the language appears a little strange or stilted, ie. "One wing dropped with direct objective"?!

I can see from reading others comments that many have enjoyed your work, so feel free to take my POV with a healthy grain of salt ;)

Roy Wallace (w3junkie)
Eeny Meeny: Proof that the Gods MUST be Crazy

I very much enjoy "British humour"and all forms of comedy. In this country we have hill-billies. I assure you I realize this book is not for everyone, and I know in your former country you surely have your version of "country people." You might try reading chapter 21.

Usually, I stick with the motto: If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all. However, I don't think that this is the right way to go on this particular site. I refuse to be one of those who gives every read six stars and writes glowing but shallow reviews after reading a few words. I hope that you can accept this review in the spirit it was intended.

I will start off by saying that I understand that we all have different tastes and this is by its very nature a subjective review. With that said, I must say that although the story of the block and tackle revived some childhood memories, after reading through to chapter 5, I was ready to move on.

I had to think long and hard as to why I was not moved to read beyond the fourth chapter. It was certainly not due to lack of promising material! I finally decided it was because the stories are just too short for me to become really involved with them. Even the story of two Bobbies was more a litany of events recorded one after another rather than a character study of two interesting and quirky individuals. Sometimes the language appears a little strange or stilted, ie. "One wing dropped with direct objective"?!

I can see from reading others comments that many have enjoyed your work, so feel free to take my POV with a healthy grain of salt ;)

Roy Wallace (w3junkie)
Eeny Meeny: Proof that the Gods MUST be Crazy

Thanks Shirley, for the light-heartedness and fun. Everyone needs a good laugh. What an interesting life you've had, and what a blessing is a sense of humor. Should 'hit the spot' for many people.

Kerrie Price
Answer the Call

Turnips and Tulips.
by Shirley Grace Kelly.

This certainly makes a change, some very funny stories here.
They cover many of lifes everyday events, down to earth, realistic and quite believable when it comes to it.
My favorite was 'Bar-hopping' which reminded me of my youth, the worry of what really happened the night before as you grope for the crumpled cigarette packet in the pocket of the suite, now lying on the floor.
Love the vivid reality of the stories and the different content as the book unfolds--great writing!
High stars!

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest - Cosmos 501.

I read chapter one. I'm surprise this book hasn't had many backers and comments. I suspect the author is hiding it from the book community. She shouldn't because its very good. The words flow like fluid. The craftsmanship is high standard. Chicks with personalities. I love it. This takes me back to the little wonderful days that I had in infancy. However, I would like to know why the little chick got banished. Maybe the author has addressed this further on. I therefore must read on....but high stars thus far

Hello, Shirley
I just read the first anecdote, Lucifer, which was interesting for me as I kept bantans for a few years. One of them was a magnfiicant rooster called Roddy who was the terror of the neighbourhood, much as your Lucifer. I could write virtually the same tale word for word! But I also had some lovely girl bantams including Alice and Emma. Emma was very bright and I taught her tricks. I also liked your second story about barhopping. Drink has featured a lot in my life as set out in my memoir.
I like the way you start right in telling the stories and convey a lot in a short space. And you have given readers a choice of subjects which is unusual.
bye for now.
Jane Mauret
UGLY IN PARADISE

"Get mommy! I've kill't myself!" I really liked that one. My mother used to tell me I was going to "wake up dead." Looks like that's what happend to the boy in Chapter 7. Didn't quite get Lucifer. But the stories were wonderful. You have to work on your pitch so people won't miss this good book. Break it up into paragraphs.

Good job and many stars from me.

Abby.

Shirley, the story that resonated with me, taking me back to my childhood back in an agricultural commune in Romania, was your first story about the rooster. With vivid descriptions, fluid beautiful writing, you kept me smiling. It's as if I was among the kids, hiding and watching for the attack :)) Loved it. I wrote my experience in the countryside in ch 6 of No Kiss Good-bye, if you have the interest to have a quick look. I'll return to read a few more a bit later. It's a wonderful collage.
Donna
No Kiss Good-bye

Funny! I do enjoy anecdotes like these. They're well written, too! Best of luck with this. (I have an attack rooster in my book too!)
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Dear Shirley
what a wonderful selection of topics for Turnips and Tulips. I especially like "The Code", immediately I could relate with the love of cooking and hatred for grocery shopping.
You made me laugh and I felt thoroughly delighted with the more I read.
A thoroughly engaging and enjoyable read.
Regards
Maya
"Away With The Mountains"

An uplifting read. Well written, funny and all highly entertaining. High stars and on my watch list.
Yours Bea

TURNIPS & TULIPS
Reading this book is like drawing in a breath of fresh air: a collection of short, often very funny antedotes that keeps you reading and reading. I read the first one about the rooster then jumped to the one about the lobster and the “they say clichés”; enjoyed those so much, I then went back and read all of the chapters. The antedotes are very well written and easy to read. I think you’ll find an audience for this among people looking for a fun read, maybe as “airplane or bedtime reading.” Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Dear Shirley, Turnips and Tulips,
Thank you so much for a lovely selection of real stories - we all have so many of such similar stories, but never had the guts to put them to pen. High stars and I'm reading on.
All the best here on authonomy
Maretha/African Adventures of Flame, Family, Furry and Feathered Friends

Very clever and held my attention well.

very different

I look forward to reading on

Dean

I suppose most of us can relate or write anecdotes which are a snapshot of life, but not always with the sharp eye,
observational skills and humour that I see here. Lots of imagery which is both perceptive and well written.
Great fun reading this and it will remain on my list so I can read more.

down to earth and delightful....
j

Shirley,

I have enjoyed reading these anecdotes, they are a wonderful snapshot into life and the things that sometimes one forgets. It is interesting how many can be related to; specifically Chapter 1 (our cockerel isn't sneaky enough to hide in foliage) and the Green Lady (my partner has been working on a Capri for about 5 years now - a labour of love - and had the engine rigged up to an old scaffold frame.) Having read Chapter 10 I will be reading them when I get a spare moment; they do bring a smile to my face!

Johanna

Yes, you did make me laugh. You stories are very realistic and I could tell they are based on real life events. It's nice to read something normal in todays often crazy world. Too many books and movies are simply too much over the top nowadays!

An amazing journey into the mind and antics of the human being, a real enjoyable read, I had many, much more than just a smile on this ride to number 10 chapter, I criticize this not. Sadly time has me beat.

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

Hello Shirley-
book- Turnips and Tulips--

A delightful and delectable round up of short folksy American tales, straight down from the sticks-
I had no problems reading the first nine chapters as I got totally engrossed, in the American humour of these tales-
It is a feel good read with a wonderful cast of characters to keep in interesting-

tom bye
book - from hugs to kisses-
I'm told that mine is a sort of an irish huckleberry finn- oblige and read some please

I have read several of the tales in this book and I found them quite humorous. It has the same level of humor as Patrick Mcmanus. I have burst out laughing and could relate as I was born in Kentucky. Knowing they are all true makes it that much more enriching. The stories made me want to read more and kept me entranced for hours on end. Lucifer and the Sun Worshiper were among the best. A lot of these stories you can relate to, as these are bound to happen to everyone at least once in their life or one would wish so. Starred and backed as I found this quite fascinating.
Will E. Wonka

Hi Shirley Grace ...

This is delightful; it is as though we are sitting talking on the porch in a couple of rocking chairs, whilst watching the sun go down. There are places where the writing is a little clumsy to European ears, but I think this only serves to add to the charm of these rustic pieces. I particularly like the way you stop and have 'second thoughts' in places, which make the pieces more conversational. Backed and rated. Regards ... Duncan.

I looked forward to reading Turnips and Tulips because of your synopses. I've read the first three pieces. You probably wrote them easily as they seem like something a person would talk about sitting in a kitchen with buddies. Very down to earth, as it's often put. I'll put your book on my watch list and read further.

Shirley,

I decided to read your Turnips and Tulips. I love anecdotes and short stories.
The first chapter gave me some difficulties, but none of these were present in the second, which was written in a much better style. However, the first anecdote was much the better story with some wonderful descriptions and a comical ending.

The sort of thing I found was:
"It was discussed on his arrival the food items needed for the evening meal and any staple of which they were in short supply." This sentence is rather clunky. If you turned it around a little it would flow much better: "On his arrival, they discussed the food items needed for the evening meal including any staples that were in short supply."
Similarly: "They had a garden and onions were brought in to fry with potatoes." could be "Onions were collected from their garden and were fried with potatoes."
"He marched with livid anger to the back door and with out of control lack of management..." might be better as "He marched with livid anger to the back door and with no thought for the consequences, or any particular aim..."
I had no idea what to make of the last sentence "Thanking transferred trauma."

Best regards
Warrick