Book Jacket

 

rank 4279
word count 64056
date submitted 19.01.2012
date updated 06.03.2012
genres: Fiction, Romance, Fantasy, Young Ad...
classification: universal
complete

Awakening

Apryl Baker

Snap...crackle...pop. The sounds of bones breaking and shifting and of muscles tearing haunt Alexandria Reed.

 

For the last five years, Alex has been locked up at Compton Academy, a "school" for the emotionally challenged. She calls it the politically correct way of saying they’re all nuts and Alex has no doubts she’s insane. She comes home to Jacob's Fork to face the demons she left behind her after deceiving the doctors into believing she’s well. Soon after her arrival home though, news of her estranged mother's death brings her uncle back into her life and she and her brother, Jason, learn a terrifying secret about their family.


After questioning her sanity for the last ten years, she discovers the night terrors she's suffered for so long has become a reality. She and her brother are now being hunted because of the secret her family has killed to protect. Her world has been turned upside down, every belief she held true destroyed. Aided by her new friends, who have some dark secrets themselves, can she and Jason survive long enough to figure out the secret behind the secret?


Awakening is the first book in the series Bloodlines

 
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tags

, faire, fairies, fey, high school, mystery, paranormal, paranormal romance, romance, teen romance, teens, thriller, vampires, weres, werewolves, wicc...

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21

Chapter Twenty One

 

    I wake up to the sound of a whispered argument and …growling. 

    Growling?

    Images flood my mind and the sounds of shifting, breaking bones haunt me.  Please, no more, I think, trying to push the memories away.

    “Shh, Bess, everything is fine.  You’re safe.”  He strokes the back of my hand in slow soothing circles.

    Morgan’s here.  He’s one of …them.  It has to be him growling, but at what?

    Light blinds me as a bedside lamp flares to life.  Once my eyes refocus, I see Devon is the culprit.  So that’s who Morgan has been arguing and growling at.  I should have guessed it, but I’m so tired.  Wait…Devon?  He should be in the hospital.  There’s no way he could have managed to escape injuries.

    “Devon?” I rub the sleep out of my eyes.  “What…how?”

    “I’m fine, Cara,” Devon soothes.

    “You can’t be fine, Devon.”  I push myself up into a sitting position, fighting the dizziness that threatens.  “I saw the cat sink claws into youYou should be in a hospital.”

    “Go ahead, Devon,” Morgan’s voice is grim.  “Tell her why you don’t have a scratch on you.”

    “Do you not think she has been through enough already?” Devon asks through clenched teeth.

    I am so over this bickering.  It’s making my head pound worse

    “Both of you will stop fighting right now.  I’m sick to death of it.”  I look from one to the other.  “I need you both, so please, just please stop arguing.”

    “You don’t know…”

    “Leave it be, Morgan,” Devon interrupts him, his voice low and hard.

    “Why don’t you just tell me, Devon?” My voice sounds tired.  “I don’t think there’s anything else that could shock me today.”

    “Tell her,” Morgan taunts.

    Devon snarls at him.

    Whoa.

    “Are you a shifter too, Devon?”

    “No.”

    “But you are something?”

    He nods, looking down at clenched fists.

    “Well?”

    “I do not wish to frighten you, Alexandria.”

    I’m already so scared he’s lucky I’m not screaming.  Really, how bad can it be?

    He lifts his head and meets my gaze.

    Red ringed onyx eyes stare into my own.

    Too much, too much!  My mind shudders back from what I see and I pull\ my hand away from Morgan.

    “I told you it was too soon,” Devon snaps at Morgan. 

    I feel the force of my fear, coupled with the pain and anger I’d felt all day, course through me, looking for an outlet.  A buzzing starts in my ears.  It won’t stop.  My skin begins to crawl like thousands of tiny insects are covering me. 

    “Bess?” Morgan’s voice is wary. 

    Devon glares at him, accusation in his glowing black eyes.

    “Alex?” Morgan reaches out a hand to me.

    “Don’t,” I flinch away from him, my eyes never leaving Devon.  What is he?  The buzzing grows louder, demanding an outlet.

    “What…are …you?” I manage to ask.

    He shoots a concerned look at Morgan before answering.  “It’s complicated, I’m not quite sure what I am.  I was cursed two hundred years ago and I’ve yet to find another like me.

    Two hundred years?  It really is just too much.  The buzzing overwhelms me and I snap, just like that day in junior high school, only this time I have nowhere to run.  My vision blurs, heat blazes to life inside of me and I see a tinge of red.  The scream comes out of nowhere.  I can’t hold it back.  The force that has been running wildly under my skin escapes with that scream.  I feel it flow out of me.  The windows in the room shatter, spilling glass outward.

    Morgan and Devon dive out the broken windows.  Seconds later the door slams open.  Jason scrambles in, baseball bat in hand, looking over every inch of the room.  Sabien is behind him and Dad follows.  He pulls me into his arms.

    “What?” he asks, the fear and concern make his voice hard almost.  “What happened?”

    “Make it stop, Daddy, please make it stop,” I whisper into his shirt.

    “Make what stop, honey?”

    “The buzzing.”

    “Buzzing?” Sabien is instantly beside of us.  “Do you hear it or feel it?”

    “Both.  It feels like my skin is crawling.”

    Sabien smiles at me.  “It’s alright, honey.  It’s normal.  You’re waking up.  I know it’s scary, but the buzzing will lessen soon.”

    “Normal?” John snaps.  “There’s nothing normal about hearing a buzzing noise.” 

    “Of course there is, John,” Sabien tells him, his voice clear and sharp.  “She simply has an ear infection.  That’s what’s causing the buzzing.”

    “An ear infection,” John nods.  “Of course.”

    “You should go to bed now, John,” Sabien continues in the same tone. 

    “Bed, yes, that’s a good idea.”  He kisses the top of my head and then strides out of the room.  We all hear his bedroom door shut.

    “What did you just do to Dad?” Jason growls.

    “I simply made him forget.  He’ll wake up in the morning thinking he had a strange dream.”

    “I don’t think he can forget the windows,” Jason snaps

    Sabien frowns and closes his eyes.  The glass begins to flow back into place and becomes whole once again.  He repairs both windows before arching a brow at his nephew.  Jason’s mouth hangs open.

    “Alex,” his voice is soft and soothing.  “I’m going to put you back to sleep.  You need to rest.  Your body needs to adjust to the changes taking place.  Okay?”

 

 

    Changes?  My skin is crawling like thousands of bugs are running through an all expense paid trip to Walt Disney bug land.  My body aches.  My head throbs and the buzzing swarms through my ears.  Changes?  It feels more like I’m being ripped apart by gale force hurricane winds. 

    “Maintenant sommeil.”

    I barely feel the pillow under my head before I black out.  Again.     

Bright sunlight assaults my eyes when I wake up.  I snap them shut.   I do not like waking up to the sun.  My eyes are very sensitive to bright sunlight.  It actually hurts, especially when I first wake up.  Dad had special curtains made to block out the light for my room years ago. 

Cracking my eyelids, I look around and find myself in Jason’s room.  My brother is asleep on the floor, his baseball bat clutched in one hand and his old stuffed dog, Pup-Pup in the other.  He told me he got rid of the old toy years ago.  Such a liar.

    The next thing I notice is the massive headache.  It feels like my head is going to crack open.  Yesterday comes flooding back and I am wracked by a bad case of the shakes.  Memories hound my mind, tormenting me. 

    My head feels like its imploding as image after image rushes back and I remember, not just yesterday, but all of it.  Dear God, please, I don’t want to remember, but either God isn’t listening or doesn’t care that I can’t take much more.

    The itsty bitsy spider climbed up the waterfall, I hummed to myself as I ran to the swings.  I loved the swings.  The air was cool as it bathed my legs and I shouted for Mommy to swing me.  We were in matching yellow dresses and Mommy laughed as I told her to swing me higher and I screamed when I went up higher than ever before.

    I saw it when I was up in the air.  It was a big, black cat.  I tell Mommy to look at the kitty.  I heard her breath catch in her throat and she pulled me off the swing.  Then she put me in the yellow bubble slide and told me not to come out until she came to get me. 

    Mommy looked scared.  I’d never seen her scared before and I started to cry when she left me.  The big cat walked toward her growling and snarling, its teeth gleamed in the sunlight.  I didn’t hear what Mommy said, but then she let out a big roar and then she…she…she changed.  My mommy was gone and where she was now stood a big wolf.  It growled at the cat and snapped its teeth. 

    The big cat launched itself at the wolf and the wolf jumped to meet it.  They clashed mid air and fall, their bodies twisting and rolling as they fought.  I saw their teeth tearing into each other, saw them snap and snarl as they tried to kill each other.  I cried louder.  Where did my mommy go?

    The cat let out a cry and I heard something snap.  The wolf had the cat pinned down and was tearing its throat out.  Then the wolf looked up at me and I shrank back.  Was it going to eat me too?  It turned and grabbed the big cat and pulled it into the woods.

    I don’t know how long I waited in the slide, but Mommy came out of the woods.  Her clothes were torn and she was limping.  She came over and it took her a long time to get me to come out of the slide.  I was so scared, but she promised me it would be okay.  I just cried harder and then I stopped.  The fear went away and I couldn’t remember anything.  Everything was okay.

 

 

 

    My mother must have caused me to forget.  I’d been hysterical, crying, and unable to move out of fear.  She’d done the only thing she could to calm me down, she must have used some kind of magic.  In doing so, she’d relieved the fear in that moment, but those memories had haunted me all my life, they’d made me think I was insane, that I was destined to be committed to a mental hospital.  All these years, I’ve thought I was crazy, but I wasn’t.  Everything I’d ever dreamed about was real.  Those vague memories that haunted me day and night are awful and they are as real as the sunlight pouring into my window.  I’m not crazy.  I’m just really, really messed up. 

    How can this have happened?  It isn’t fair.  Everything about me has all been lies.  Even now I feel it, this alien force running through me, laughing at me.  I don’t want to be a freak of nature.  Isn’t it enough that I’ve grown up feeling out of place, like I didn’t belong, thinking I was crazy?  HA!  I guess I’ve been right all along.  I don’t belong.  I am different.  A freak show. 

I should have known what little happiness I’ve found over the last few weeks wouldn’t last.  How could it?  Eventually, everything I love is taken from me.  Why?  Why can’t I just be a normal person with a normal life and normal friends?

My thoughts flash to Morgan and Devon.  A shifter and a self-proclaimed monster.  Which is worse?  What am I supposed to do?  How can I be friends with them anymore?  How can I not?  No matter how scared I am, I need them.  The thought of never seeing them or speaking to them again terrifies me more than the knowledge of what they are.

 

 

 

That very fact alone makes me wonder if they haven’t done something to me.  I’ve never needed someone so badly that being separated from them actually causes me physical pain.  That’s how I feel about Morgan.  He’s become a part of me.  No, he’s always been a part of me.  I’ve been dreaming of being a wolf since I can remember.  Even though I hadn’t met him, deep down I’d felt him.  From the beginning, I felt at ease, at peace around him.  All of those things that had defined me before simply melt away in his presence.  I’m not shy, embarrassed, or self-conscious around him.  He makes me whole.

And Devon?  Rude, arrogant beyond a fault, and very mysterious.  At least the mystery is solved.  Well, sort of.  He’d managed to ingrain himself into my life too, worked his way into it.  Why?  Why is he so important to me?  My mother said in the dream that I should be afraid of those glowing red-rimmed black eyes, but I’m not.  He shocked me, yeah, but afraid?  No, I’m not afraid.  He could have hurt me at any time he wanted over the last few weeks.  Instead, he’s been my friend.  A friend, who at times, I wanted to strangle with my bare hands, but a friend nonetheless.  Plus, I still like him.  A lot.

So where does that leave me? 

In a hell of a mess, that’s where.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters

21

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Jehmka wrote 376 days ago

Apryl,
Awakening was a shocking surprise for me. How is it that a book, this well-written, can be so poorly neglected by authonomy readers? I have just finished sampling two other books, ranked among the top 100, which I could not in all good conscience back.

OK… Now that I got the rant out of my way…

Awaking is compelling.
The writing is clean and crisp, with a contemporary feel. “I taste blood as I stare into hell.” There's a good balance between narrative and dialogue throughout, both of which are convincing. It’s easy to read, and kept me continuously engaged. I immediately liked Alex Reed. She brought to mind Susanna Kaysen, the MC in Girl Interrupted.

I can’t leave anything un-nitpicked though.
“Very weird.” I have a tendency to do this in my writing too – adding these little bits of telling. “Very bizarre.” I would delete these and see how it reads, see if you lose anything. I don't think they're needed.

““Long story.” I shift in my seat. It isn’t something I want to go into. I don’t know Saidie well enough to spill my secrets. It’s a miracle…” It feels to me like you're saying too much here, spoon-feeding the reader – telling.

That’s it! That’s all I could find to complain about.

I give Awakening the full six stars. I’ll certainly recommend it to others too.

Philthy wrote 393 days ago

Hi Apryl,
I’m here for our read swap. So sorry it’s taken me this long to get here. Below are my findings/comments. They are of course my humblest opinions so take them for whatever they’re worth and feel free to disregard what you don’t agree with.
Chapter One
Great opening-line hook.
“Just calm down.” If you mutter it, I think it ought to be in quotes.
Not sure “looms” is the best word there. It makes it sound like it appears out of thin air.
“behind those doors almost as bad as the storm…” I’d add “is” after “almost” to avoid fragmenting.
“overheard” should be “overhead”
Your language is very strong and you have a great sense of building tension. I think at times you get excessively wordy, however. Sometimes it seems like you’re trying to add to the drama, but in reality, the extra wordiness has the opposite effect. It also steers you sometimes more toward telling as opposed to showing. For instance, “But that person is gone, I remind myself forcefully.” How does the MC remind him/herself forcefully? That’s kind of vague. Instead, show us an action or expression so we can see the MC reminding himself in a forceful manner.
Otherwise, this is a great start. You have a great YA voice and strong dialogue, which makes for solid characterization. A likeable MC, too. I can see this doing well here.
Best of luck!
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)

Edwin P. Magezi wrote 415 days ago

This is intriguing. It has a strong narrative voice in Alex. I loved the way you described your characters, very vivid and almost personal.
The prose is clean as far as my untrained eyes can see and I barely found any errors to nitpick.

Chapter 1
-> She just looks way to perky -- (too)

You should start campaigning for your book to get it noticed. I'm sure it will pick up backings from the YA writers and more.

Highly rated and will keep it on my w/l till I have space to shelve it.

Edwin - The First Oath.

Oriax wrote 444 days ago

Apryl,
This isn’t my usual kind of read, but I’ve enjoyed the story so far. You have a very fluid style and a great sense of detail. I’m not sure about the opening, I’d be tempted to go straight into chapter one. The prologue just tells us vaguely what we are going to find out in the first chapter anyway. I’d change the word eulogy to epitaph, since she isn’t really giving herself praise.
I like the way you have the storm mirror Alex’s mood. Your descriptions of the new people Alex meets are extremely well done. I have very definite pictures of all of them.
The pace of the story is good too, keeping the background until chapter three so it doesn’t hinder the action. You hint at The Event and Alex’s breakdown, without giving away the details. You then make the transition to a dreamlike sequence with Alex as a big predator, which is clever in that we assume this is something to do with her problems of rage control. Maybe also the mysterious event.
The only thing that didn’t work particularly well for me was all the exchanges with the three boys. There’s a bit too much staring going on and shivers up and down the spine for me. Add the unique eye colours, blue-black hair and you’re heading a bit too close to cliché.

You write very well, the story is appealing and well-paced, with a strong hint of mystery and fantasy. There’s a strong budding romance too, and the threat of the bully from the past bringing Alex’s nightmares back to the surface again.
Well done. I’ve given this five stars and think it will do extremely well with its target audience.
Jane

Shelby Z. wrote 456 days ago

I read to 25 and boy has it gotten crazy.
I not normally do I care fore these types of stories, but there is something about it I like.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Shelby Z. wrote 458 days ago

Read to chapter 9.
You have a great style to develop your story and characters.
I want to read some more later.
Good luck.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

katjay wrote 458 days ago

Awakening
Hi Apryl
Sorry to be late getting back to you – I’ve busy editing. Have just read the first few chapters of Awakening and I’m impressed. You have an easy, natural writing style. Some fine, descriptive passages and the dialogue is natural and totally suited to the setting and your target market. Alex is an engaging MC and it’s great to see her overcome her doubts and fears. I loved it when she first stood up to Janna: ‘Then again, if I had been in a psycho ward all these years, making me angry might not be the brightest idea, either.’ Well done!
Kat x Hens from Hell

Marisa Elyse wrote 460 days ago

Reading your first few chapters, I did connect with your MC. Your writing is good and descriptive, haunting if I were to describe it. Seeing as how this is a YA Romance story, I expected the almost instant connection between the MC and the guy, so be careful of not making it too cliche.

Also, be careful of info dumps when it comes to explaining something. The tiny bit before the beginning of the first chapter was really good and set the tone of the story, but I think you can ax the whole 'I am MC, and this is my story', since we'll find out it's her story when the first chapter starts.

Besides those quirks, I do find the story you have interesting, and will look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Cheers,
Marisa
Tower of Paradise

Marisa Elyse wrote 460 days ago

Reading your first few chapters, I did connect with your MC. Your writing is good and descriptive, haunting if I were to describe it. Seeing as how this is a YA Romance story, I expected the almost instant connection between the MC and the guy, so be careful of not making it too cliche.

Also, be careful of info dumps when it comes to explaining something. The tiny bit before the beginning of the first chapter was really good and set the tone of the story, but I think you can ax the whole 'I am MC, and this is my story', since we'll find out it's her story when the first chapter starts.

Besides those quirks, I do find the story you have interesting, and will look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Cheers,
Marisa
Tower of Paradise

Shelby Z. wrote 462 days ago

I read just chapter one, but I fine it really interesting. The way you put it in first person is really creative. It makes the reader feel all your main character does.
It moves at an easy pace here, but that is good since it is to introduce things to to the reader.
You really did a good job here.
Great work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Dianna Lanser wrote 469 days ago

Apryl,

I too read the first three chapters of your book. I am very impressed at your writing style and your abilty to bring your characters to life. Very easy and enjoyable reading. I especially was aware of the gift you have of describing people, especially their eyes - unique words and colors. Alex seems like a strong girl despite her difficult past, but she has a suportive family to help her through. I believe you have built the background story very nicely and to tell you the truth, I don't want to stop reading but I have to go my daughter's Valentine Party at school. Six stars and I'll be back to read more.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 485 days ago

Dear Apryl

I have read the first three chapters of "Awakening" which is a well observed tale, perfectly pitched for your YA audience. Your writing is very clear, vivid and easy to get along with. Many of the references pass me by, but that hardly matters: a great read.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Dilettante wrote 490 days ago

Well written, and an engaging main character. This is a good story. Well done, Backed and recommended.

Lenny H wrote 490 days ago

On my WL

Wavy3 wrote 491 days ago

Wow, your writing style is impressive. It's very haunting, and reflects the tone beautifully. The opening scene really drew me in, and then when the first chapter started it had the same feel of just jumping straight into the story. You hint at a background, but don't throw it in our faces, which makes me want to read on.

ozhm wrote 491 days ago

Fantasy and YA wouldn’t necessarily be my first choice, but this is compelling. The reality of everyday teen concerns balances the fantasy angle so well that I accepted the whole without a blink.

I like the short pitch, but I wonder if the long pitch is could be tightened somehow. You’ve given us what amounts to a précis, and I’m not sure whether hints might be better than spelling it out. Breaking it up into short paras would help too, I think.

Alex is a great MC. I’m drawn into her life immediately, her hopes and fears are completely believable and you’ve revealed her circumstances and back-story at very satisfying pace.

I’m also impressed with your writing and style. On a sentence level, (sorry, very nit-picky!) there are a few typos etc, but I’m sure you’ll sort them out on the next edit. The same applies to your use of tense. I like the idea of using past and present as you have, but you may need to check that you haven’t slipped from one to the other where you shouldn’t have.

Good luck with it. It deserves support.
Helen Meikle
Six Weeks in Summer.

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