Jinger Barley and The Murkle Moon

A wonderful and beautifully written, occasionally heartrending story, full of quirk and charm and whimsy, and laced with hidden depths, Jinger Barley is an Alt-Potter for those teenagers of all ages who know that life comes in more than fifty shades of grey.

Or, to put it another way, this book effing rocks.

Chapter seven is still, in my opinion, the best thing on Authonomy.

It's absolute perfection and you should be very proud of your incredible book.

sincerely,

Benedict

Lucy, you have quite spoiled me for returning all the reads I'm supposed to, and ruined me for reading anything that feels like work! Jinger is so perfect, and so enjoyable, I can't seem to make myself slog through any of the books I ought to be reading today. I am sure you have heard the obvious comparison before, but I feel like I did when I bought the first Harry Potter and didn't get anything productive done for the rest of the weekend. Bravo! Now, how am I going to clear a spot on my shelf? Hmmm...

Warmly,

Catherine Morgan
Nickel Ridge

Club Grimoire Review:

Perfection! Wonderfully written and instantly engaging with characters (both in the prologue and the first chapter) who leap off the pages and dance away with your time and imagination. It is written in the precisely perfect style for a young adult audience and puts my in mind of Terry Prachett's work for the YA market (which is a very good thing). I did not notice one single thing to nitpick over and whether that is due to the fact there is none or that I was so swept away it doesn't matter because the book is doing its job. I have high hopes of being able to proudly tell people that I read this before it was published.

High stars indeed!

Meagan

Club Grimoire:
I have nothing to add, because I believe it is perfect. In one chapter, I can say that it's clever, funny, and very well-written. I love this book, and want to see it on my real bookshelf.

YARG review
back for chaps 11 - 13

chap 11:
'use this time usefully' - probably should change use or usefully to something else.
I was a bit surprised Jinger had no adverse reaction when Tabs mentioned werewolves. Did I miss something, or did Jinger already know (or suspect) about the students turning into wolves? This chapter did explain Felix's reaction to the silver necklace. I like when the explanation for something we read chapters earlier (something we couldn't possible understand then) is given.
chap 12:
not sure where all this fits in, but it's an interesting back story. The ending was quite sad.
chap 13:
'last night's stew?" - that was good!
I wonder reading this if the breeding experiments have some significance, other than to highlight Jinger's intellect. Wonder what's going on at the end of the chapter?

Still liking this

YARG Review -
read chapters 8 - 10
chap 8 leaves one with questions throughout, but especially at the ending. I've never seen pajamas spelled pyjamas, though.
chap 9 has a great ending as well. Why does Felix hate the necklace?
chap 10 gives some interesting background on Arthur I really liked. Also the Murkle Moon stepping in to save May was good. Are these kids werewolves or something? Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out. The chapter again ends leaving us wanting to turn the page!

Still really like this story.
Jimmy

YARG review

Hello,

Read first 3 chapters and shall definitely get round to reading more! Loved the writing style, loved the subject.

Opening paragraph - 'much preferred a cup of tea.' The witty comparison sets up the chapter and lets me know I'm in for a treat - having read further I know this was correct. The style of writing is perfectly balanced between serious and whimsical - with an ample helping of humour lacing each line. Really enjoyable to read.
There are subtle allusions to more intelligent comedy - 'No, I'm Edward and she's Catherine,' - mixing up the sexes as well as the names of children by the aged man, a senior moment not made too big a deal of but just there in the background.

In Chapter I empathised with Jinger from the moment I first met her. This is well written via her interaction with her twin, all the more ironic because they are twins that they are described as 'opposites.'

First and second chapters introduce the Murkle Moon, which can apparently speak and wander, seamlessly into the body of the story, inviting further exploration. I really want to know what is special about this moon! The astronomy teachers and their discussion in Ch 3 provide some initial explanation into the night sky which throws light on this.

Ch3

Ms Flapp (appropriately named) is described inventively and in great detail particularly about her problem. This is quite original and a great character weakness not often heard of before. 'Lots of pupils would have a very hungry lunchtime,' - humourous consequence of her dithering!

Really great and I shall look forward to reading more.

Robert
Immortality of Ashes

YARG review -
Back for more -
Chapter 5 -
I love the email to Arthur's grandddaughter about buying slippers from the TV screen
chapter 6 -
dusty-tasting glass of water. - nice!
...weird place full of unkempt teachers, choking pupils, and engraved beds - I like that
great ending to the chapter!
chapter 7 -
forever had other ideas - great line
I like the part about the standing excuse (and joke) of Douglas calling Julia to ask if there is anything she wants him to bring home from the souvenir shop.
I thought the ending of chap 6 was good - but chap 7 really ends with suspense! That was great.

No time to read more now, but I am on the edge of my seat. Who rammed them with the Land Rover and why?

Be back when I can,
Jimmy

YARG review

Hi Lucy,

I read chapters 3 and 4. Chapter 4 was really nice. You brought to life the scene with the meat stuck in Felix's throat. I was squirmig. I could see Jinger sticking her hand down his throat and almost feel her trying to get her fringers around the lodged chunk. Yuk. That was well done! Nice way to end the chapter too. Chapter 4 was equally descriptive and disgusting when Felix coughed up the chunk and prompty stuffed it iback n his mouth.
Your descriptions of the girls sharing the room with Jinger are short and to the point. Something I could learn from! The last sentence in the chapter piques one's interest.

This book continues to be very good and is so well written.

I'll be back for more.
Jimmy

YARG Review

hi Lucy,

After Lying About Sarah, I didn't know what to expect, but having read through chapter two, ths is another wonderful book.

Prologue -
Nice set up here. Very original. This guy isn't just talking to the moon (who talks back), he's talking to some 'other' moon. Curious as to what Arthur's job was - watching the Murkle Moon probably doesn't pay a lot. I have no idea why he's talking to the moon, or why it talks to him, but want to read on to find out. That's what a prologue should do! The changing millennium must mean something!

Chapter 1 -
"that idea began to stick as hard as a tiny shell on the side of a boat." - love this
You really did well at relating Jinger and Jessica as polar opposites.
Great ending to chapter 1.

Chapter 2 -
I love the way Ms. Flapp regards Arthur. The line "When Arthur returned to the school, the sky suddenly looked breathtaking, and Ms Flapps felt that she need not have bothered to look up before." is great.
The use of the tree when Ms Flapp was a girl to portray her inability to make decisions was brilliant.
Now the prologue comes into focus. I know why Arthur watched the Murkle Moon. It's still strange that the moon has feelings and when it gets hurt it reacts like a child (that's the way I saw it). But stange is good to me! I like that I've not read anything like this before.

This book is very different from Lying About Sarah, but your turn of phrase, clean editing, and impeccible style show through just the same. I prefer this book, because LAS is so heavy and despressing. Looks like you have the whole book here. I will chip away at it until I've read it all.

Jimmy

Yarg-

Lucy
wow this was very diffrent, i really enjoyed it. you have a great attention to detail. i also noticed i personally have difficulty with say diffrent charecters not the main ones but al the side charecters when i write, but you seem to be wonderful at it only thing in chapter 5 is the phrase chrismassed proper? i was unsure here it would be spent christmas with , but it may be the whole other country language thing again.

i really love the pitch on this one.. it looks great. i will comment on it when i get either a few chapters or all of it read...it's 4 a.m now so i better not read it yet....on watchlist though

Hi Lucy,
I've read the first five chapters and I will be back for more. This is so well written, and a great read.
I loved the imagination in this, and all the characters names and quirks, Arthur is already a favourite. You have captured the voice needed for YA, and I think a wide range of ages in that category would enjoy this.
I laughed when Felix choked ...but didn't, and Tabs seems like such a nice character. You have captured the anxiety that must be felt joining a new school perfectly, Jinger reacts just like you would expect, meeting new people and adapting to her new environment. I liked her bed being under the slanting roof, a cosy place for her.
The descriptions are vivid but not overdone, and I your use of metaphors are spot on.
It has a Harry Potter feel, but is definitely its own story, so I see that as a good ... no great ... thing!!
I expect to see this published in the near future, I read a lot of literature in this category and this would certainly do well I'm sure. Great stuff.
Jx

A hugely enjoyable read with a likeable character in Jinger.
It was entertaining to read and It feels that the world of the character's is well developed and thought out.
I read the first 3 chapters and now want to see where the story is going. I think that young adults would find this engaging and there are some aspects that would resonate well.

I have added it to the watchlist and it gets high stars from me.

Dr Hawke (The Reluctant Adventures of E.Q.)

Your writing is lively and draws me in as a reader! Love your verbs and the occasional one-sentence paragraph. when I get time, I'll definitely put this on my list of must reads! www.bettyjackson.net

Great review. I hope it makes it into print!! I will certainly by a copy (and the sequelS).

Hi
Congratulations on the positive review.
Hopefully i will see it in print soon.

John Stearn
Author of Derilium

Hi Lucy,
Just finished chapter eight and realised how quickly i'm rattling through these chapters-always means it's a good read!!
CHAPTER 3-'his vivid dark eyes like flicks of calligraphy'-Very nice description, as is 'to woo the stars out of the sky with his snake-charmer's telescope' again brilliant.
CHAPTER 4-the bottom paragraph-'It was slippy' Did you mean slippy or slippery? Just wondered. Otherwise can't find anything i didn't like etc. More to read tomorrow evening.
Dave B

Hey Lucy,

I've read chapters 1-8 and it is easy to see why you have done so well on this site. A truly imaginative and engaging story. Arthur and Jinger both grabbed my attention immediately and made me carry on reading through the chapters. Think I might even read the whole thing!

Patrick Lynch
The Spirits in the Shadows

Hey Lucy,

I only read chapter one here but think this is a truly original piece and can't wait to come back for more. It stands alone and is outstandingly creative in nature. This is witty, clever and Arthur is just one-of-a-kind! Best of Luck to you but I know that you don't need any because you are already a hit on here!

-Lyn
NO REAL ESCAPE to my Nirvana
-Surviving Manic Depression- My story & The Real Truth to Managing It

Lucy Really good concept for a story. You have a lovely voice hear and I think this is a good book that could do so well. I know there are a few little issues that are mentioned below but nothing that cant be sorted. Great flow, brilliant characters and a great pace to this book. I felt myself drifting off right into the story and before I knew it I found myself as if I was in it. I have scored this high. Love it.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

Hi - I enjoyed this (see my review below). I was just wondering of you wanted to return the favour and have a look at my offering 'Green Hour'? If you do, though, perhaps you could do me a favour and start at Chapter 7? I know that this is a weird request, but most of my reviews have been from people who have read the first couple of chapters only - there are some twists later on that I would like people to get a feel of...

I hope that you find time to have a little look at it,

Adrian

How could an old man stop the Murkle Moon? What is the Murkle Moon? What did Arthur do 50 years ago? These are just a few of the questions I have after reading chapter one. What a great start! I'll be reading more and more of this in the days to come. I love it!

I have dipped into several chapters and very much like what I see. It is now on my watchlist for that valuable moment when I have time to read it properly!

Hoping to get back to you later
Joanne Jacquard
Bryond the Camera

Wow. This is lovely.

This is a YARG review.

The plot you've created here is so unusual and original that it's absolutely enthralling! I really like the characters, and I love the way you've peppered the intrigue throughout the story. The dialogue is very natural for teenagers, which I think adds a little authenticity to the characters.
I can't wait to read the rest of this book as it promises to be great!
Abby

I have just started reading your book and it looks a delight. What an original idea and you write beautifully. I skipped to chapter seven at one point because of the rave reviews about it. I must say that it touched me because the subtlety of emotion was so beautifully done - very sad. I hope it is published! :)

Hi Lucy,
I have read several chapters and enjoyed the expereince. I feel it has great potential definitely for the younger readers. I am sure that it be a success.
Bruce Vaughan
A Successful Outcome

This is very imaginative and mostly really well written. The first chapter is intriguing and quirky, while the second plays, successfully, with different voices and registers (although I wonder if the information that it happens 'thirteen years later' could have been given a little more subtly..?) I would agree with another reviewer that Chapter 7 is a highlight. An enjoyable read - one with which to persevere.

Adrian

If this isn't the next Harry Potter (I'm sorry if you've heard that comparison a million times) I will be amazed. Absolutely entrancing. You've created a world and I've been reading for so long that my eyes have gone square and I'm slightly surprised to look up and see the real world around me, not your world. Please, please say there's a sequel on the way: I am DYING to know what happens to (ahem, spoilers) now that she's (ahem, more spoilers!). R xxx

ps I have backed you and you'd have seven stars if I could :) x)

This is a YARG review!

Seeing as there is a little medal beside your name I was very interested to see why that was and I must admit I'm impressed with your writing skill. There's nothing really I can or would want to pick at in the shape of your craft because it's all well written. I have read up to Chapter Seven where Julia's car is... well don't want to spoil things but you know where I mean!

The format, where you have so far been mixing between Jinger, Arthur and toward the end of my read Julia is different and although in some stories this can be off putting and hard to follow, possibly due to the short Chapters, it doesn't feel out of place too out of place. The length of the Chapters themselves are quite sporadic for me, but then I know short chapters are enjoyed by a lot of readers, this is more of a personal preference and for me I have felt a few times the change of chapter was at the wrong time.

Obviously I haven't gotten very far into your book so to make comments now isn't the best way to give a full reflection but so far it's a bit of a slow burner, every time you've gotten to a point that made me think "here we go - somethings going to happen" you tease and switch. I would have liked to have had a little more action by Chapter Seven but then again, I will happily continue to read because it's clear you're building up to something good. Again - probably just me - but within the first seven chapters there's a few with none or very little dialogue which may have helped me to connect more with the characters in general.

Overall though as I said, you're clearly a good story teller and it's easy to see there's more to be had in this story which WILL make me continue reading. Good job :)

I only read a bit, but that's all it took to know I liked it. Congratulations on becoming an editor's pick!

Kristi
Casting Shadows

Hey Lucy, did you ever hear back from the editor's desk? Are they going to publish? They should:)

Hi Lucy,

Another day when the world was supposed to end has just passed, so a really appropriate time to see what you'd created with this book "Jinger Barley and the Murkle Moon".

Lovely sister. Not. Just saving what little I've written while I check out another chapter. Oh, and now I'm up to chapter 6, just like that. Ms Flapp is an interesting character. So is Arthur. I'm waiting for him to name a planet. Still haven't quite worked out this Murkle Moon thing yet - how the town has its own moon. Especially haven't worked out how the near collision with the other moon would have happened. All a bit strange really, and fun. I won't add anything more to this comment. Jinger Barley and the Murkle Moon have had lots of comments already. I just wanted to see what it was all about. Well done Lucy. I'll keep reading for a bit longer before I go to sleep.

Regards Scott Butcher (The Merlin Falcon)

Hi Lucy,
I just wanted to thank you for all your help during my time on Authonomy. I have published The Magic Kingdom' on Amazon. I have another one on the go and hope to be back soon. However, is it just me that finds it hard to not only get on the site but to replace my edits etc. I am only asking because someone mentioned a comment on television about how difficult it is. Have a word in someone's ear please.Having said that it is an amazing site and the help and support has been wonderful. Good luck with your writing and have a happy christmas. Margaret C. PS. I liked to think I have also given back some support and encouragement.

A very interesting first chapter and one to add to my watch list. More comments as I have time to read.

Hello Lucy,
Read the first chapter of this book and I'm sure I'll return and read more later. I really sympathised with Jinger being the new girl at school, and the not so popular sister. So well polished, seems ready to go! I've put it on my WL as this is my fave genre.
Well done,
M.J

Hi Lucy,
I have just published The Magic Kingdom on Amazon. I wanted to say a big thank you for all your help and support. I have had a few problems on site with putting my new edits and replacing the first chapter. I still can't do it, and I have tried several times. I only wish it was a bit more straight forward. I will hopefully be back with my next book. Good luck with all you do, and a Merry Christmas Margaret C.

Wow, now I know what all the hype is about! Tbh, this is not my kind of book but I was completely drawn into it. Thanks for sharing this.
I'd love to crit you but i can't :-)
Best wishes,
Leesha McCoy - Abriya & Clarence. Becoming Aware. The Urban Paranormal Romance.

YARG review

I can only echo what has been said previously, a beautifully written piece of work with strong characters and plotting. I like the way you make us feel for Jinger instantly and although she's an outsider she is real enough to be believable. You describe her going to the new school, with all the trepidation that causes, with great sensitivity and the sense of foreboding is also executed expertly. I have read up to chapter 10 but so far it is compelling and makes me want to read more. I like the quirky characters (especially Tabs) can see there's lots of scope for intrigue and plot twists. The only thing I thought a bit odd is how most of your chapters are short and then suddenly there is a long chapter (7 I think) which seemed a bit inconsistent but this is only a minor niggle.

Hoping you get this published soon.

Mawdlin
The Witch's Cauldron

Love it! You have an incredible book here, it was imposable to put it down! The only critique I have is you might want to adjust your placement of the flash backs. You have Jinger opening the mail pouch in the lobby and being surprised by the contents, then she was suddenly in her dorm room and it wasn't explained what was in the mail until Felix reacted to it. I would put the flashback immediately after she opend the pouch and then move her on to the dorm. Either way you have beautiful writing and I can't wait to reed the next book!

C. G. Spaulding

So . . . I guess I was a little slow to actually be helpful in getting your book to the ED, but congratulations on getting (and staying) there all the same--it's certainly well-deserved. This book is flawlessly written.

I hope it's not too late to tell you that I love what I've read so far! Obviously, I'm not alone in my feelings for you already have a medal thingy. (smiles) It brings Harry Potter to mind but then makes you forget he exists. Pretty cool, if you ask me. I am tickled for your accomplishment and certain I will see this one in the window of my local bookstore! Congrats...Linda

Hi Lucy, yeah, I'm a little late when it comes to reads. Congrats on your success! I'm not a critic, just a mere scriptwriter who enjoys a work which pulls one in, grabbing, holding, taking the reader along the journey. You make the genre your own. Would make a movie!

blessings,
Jim

I really enjoyed this thank you

This is an interesting story idea.. very original! I have never read a book where the moon was a character who spoke and especially affected the outcome of the story. Very cool so far. The other comments here are very praising so I know I am in for a treat as I read on.

Congratulations on reaching the desk. I was glad to have backed your book. With your advice and support I can only hope to reach the same position someday

The Raven

The Buena Fortuna

A brilliant opening, and Arthur's character is very believable. Your writing is easy to read and very good.

I think your book will do well. It isn't my sort of thing I like to read otherwise I would have read more.

Kind Regards,

Carol

Hi
Congratulations for being selected for review.
From
John Stearn

Unfortunately I haven't been around long enough and have just now discovered your book. I see why it made it to number 1. Congrats! It's wonderful!

Loved the book, well written. Sometimes my mind did wonder and when I read paragraphs out of context it made me smile: Chapter 28 "Jinger undid the zip, and pulled the little object out."

Well, I am hooked. I have a sister, not a twin, but an older sister, who was mean to me, and I totally connect with Jinger. Oh, I so want her to find her place in the world, or in the glow of the Murkle Moon. Your characters - well, they are characters, and the movie is playing in my mind.

Need to go find room for this on my bookshelf! I will be back to read more. Well done.

Though it won't be hard to remember, I'm going to remember your name and the name of your wonderful book-so that one day I can say I read it before it became so popular. From your picture I get the impression you are a rather young woman and that makes me even more so impressed with your writing and ability to weave such a WONDERFUL story. I'm only five chapters along but will be coming back night after night to continue and will try to complete it before you make it to the finish line. This is a true treasure, Lucy!

I'm just starting to read this to my youngest grandchild, he's 14 and is liking it a lot. Good luck! Charles Hobday