Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 61905
date submitted 07.02.2012
date updated 02.11.2012
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
classification: moderate
complete

Jinger Barley and The Murkle Moon

Lucy Middlemass

Bloody moons. They never do what you want and this one is no different.

 

Why would anyone write a story about the last baby of the previous millennium?

Jinger’s birth date gave her the feeling that she was old when she was a little girl; that she really belonged to a time in which she had barely lived. Her twin was new and young, the inaugural child of the silver new year, whereas Jinger was a lingering remnant of the instantly unfashionable thousand years before.

Sent up to school in Murkle, home of the famous wandering Moon, Jinger wants to fit in with the other pupils so much she even tries to copy their accent. But people in Murkle seem to have been waiting for her to arrive, one of them for more than a hundred years.

 
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astronomy, boarding school, fantasy, fiction, humour, magic, teen

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Chapters

17

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Chapter Sixteen

 

By the time the girls were turning out their lights Jinger had almost caught up. She had only missed two lessons and asked Tabs lots of questions about them during supper. Tabs had looked worried when Jinger told her that her grandmother had just died.

    Jinger suspected Tabs was more concerned about what she ought to say than about her feelings but she had got used to that after her mum passed away. To save Tabs any embarrassment, and because it was true, Jinger explained that her granny had been so upset after her grandad had gone missing that she had not been the same for a long time.

    The girls went to bed late again and Jinger wondered if she would ever get used to it. But however tired she felt, she needed to stay awake tonight. She lay in the darkness under the eaves and gazed at the soft strip of light between the curtains.

    It seemed like the whole world had shifted again since this morning. Her dad and Helen had expected her to want to go straight home with them and not come back to school until after the funeral but Jinger felt she needed to be here. There were so many things she wanted to learn, and anyway it was only her first week. She thought about poor Granny Bloom dying alone in her house and wondered if she ought to be crying.

    The dorm room door squeaked open and a dim light flashed across the carpet. This was the other reason Jinger wanted to stay. She waited for a moment then got up. She slipped into her dressing gown and slippers and crept past the other beds.

    In the corridor the only light was outside the bathroom. Jinger turned the other way and headed silently down the stairs. She guessed this was against the rules and paused for a moment to see if she could think of a reason to be there in case she was caught. Maybe lost? But it was a pretty small building and why would she be walking around it to get lost after all the pupils had finally gone to bed anyway? Jinger decided the best tactic would be to not be seen.

    She reached the foyer and noticed light coming from underneath the door of Dr Skinner’s office. She edged past it noiselessly, towards the cubby holes where she had collected her post the previous morning. She headed through the large door at the school’s entrance and into the night.

    Jinger could see Tabs. A single grey wolf sat on the bottom step, yawning and stretching its front legs.

    “Tabs!” Jinger hissed, “That’s you, isn’t it?”

    The wolf jumped up, startled. It looked to Jinger like it might bolt into the dark.

    “It’s okay. Come here,” Jinger whispered and began to move down the steps towards the springy form at the bottom.

    The wolf growled a warning. Jinger could see its long yellow-white teeth as it drew back its lips and snarled.

    “Jinger!” Tabs’ voice startled her and she jumped more than she had when the wolf bared its teeth. The sound was coming from behind her.

    “Get back up here! What are you doing?” Tabs half-whispered and half-shouted.

    Jinger hurried back up the stone steps, baffled and looking over her shoulder. The wolf loped off and as it turned, Jinger saw that it had a thick line of fur missing over a scar on its muzzle.

    The girls stood looking at each other in the muted light of the foyer.

    “What were you doing out there? I thought you were in bed! You’ll get in trouble!” Tabs said, not looking worried. She looked like she was trying to stop herself laughing.

    “I thought it was you.”

    “Oh. Right. That makes sense. Like I’d be an ugly grey thing like that.” Tabs was no longer trying to stop herself laughing, she was just concentrating on laughing quietly. “When I’m a wolf, I look like this.”

    Tabs changed. Right in front of Jinger, in the school foyer, she changed. She blurred slightly then leant forwards until her hands almost reached the floor. By the time she was touching the pale stone, her hands were paws on the end of narrow furry front legs. There was no moonlight in the room, no long painful transition and now there was no Tabs.

    And Jinger had to agree that she looked nothing like the wolf outside. She was much smaller with longish brown fur, large eyes and paws which looked too big for her. Jinger was not sure if she could reach out and touch the fur. She paused for a moment, taking in the sight of her new friend and wondering if it would be impolite to try to pat her head.

    The wolf lifted itself onto its back legs, blurred and Tabs stood in front of Jinger again.

    “See? I look cute when I’m a wolf,” said Tabs as though that was the point. “I thought it was time you saw it happen. You can’t really be at this school and not know about the wolf thing properly. When were they going to tell you? You’re not horribly shocked are you?”

    “No, I’m not shocked,” said Jinger, horribly shocked.

    She had expected to see Tabs in her wolf form tonight; to follow her out of the dorm room and then catch sight of her running across the field with the others. She had not expected to see her change right in front of her and then change back a moment later.

    Tabs went over to the stairs leading up to the dorm rooms and sat down on the third one from the bottom, resting her feet on the last. “You can’t tell anyone about me though,” she said in a normal voice as Jinger sat next to her.

    “Shouldn’t we go somewhere else?” Jinger whispered, pointing at the light around Dr Skinner’s office door.

    “I wouldn’t worry about him. He won’t be back for ages. We just saw him outside,” Tabs replied, sniggering again.

    Jinger had the feeling Tabs was enjoying knowing all this far too much. Of course the Head of Lower School is a big bad wolf. Why not?

    “So how come no one knows about you then? Shouldn’t you have gone with Sasha to Upper School?” Jinger hoped this line of questioning might stop Tabs from looking so smug.

    “Well... I suppose so. Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to go yet. I’m not ready.”

    Jinger decided not to make her friend miserable. She never had any intention of telling anyone really. “I won’t tell. What were you doing down here though? I thought you were going out to meet up with the wolves or something. Do you just want to watch? I’ve got a pretty good view of the field from the window above my bed.”

    “I can go out and run with them. It’s like one of those parties where people cover their faces... what are they called?”

    “Masquerade?” Jinger suggested.

    “No... erm... fancy dress, that’s it. We recognise each other as wolves but we don’t always know which wolf is which person. Sometimes people from Murkle come and run with us too. It’s safer if we are all together. Some wolves from the school have gone missing from the woods in the past. I was waiting for Dr Skinner to leave. If he saw a wolf coming out of Lower School it’d be much harder to keep my secret. And like I said, I’m not ready for that,” Tabs explained.

     “But I thought being ready just meant being able to change. Isn’t there some sort of rule? And what about your clothes? How come they just disappear and then come back?” Jinger noticed for the first time that Tabs was back in the big fleecy baby suit.

    “Part of the magic of Murkle,” she said mysteriously, although she delivered it quite matter-of-factly. “I’ve had an awful summer holiday trying to hide all this from Mum. I know she’ll be proud. She went to this school too and loved the wolf part but I don’t feel ready. I want to be a Third Year with the rest of the class and have Ms Flapp for a form tutor. Next year, I don’t mind because we’ll all go up together, wolves or not. You might change before then too, of course.”

    Jinger was more shocked by this than anything else she had seen or heard in the last couple of days. Tabs really thought that Jinger might be able to turn into a wolf someday! That was ridiculous. Jinger was not even from Murkle! Whatever it was that made people change (and Jinger was already thinking of possibilities, starting with that weird Moon), she knew it had to be something to do with Murkle.

    “You must think this is all strange. Some people from other places…” Tabs gestured towards the front of the school where the mountain sloped towards Brink Stenton and everywhere else, “… don’t even believe in magic.”

    “Really?” Jinger tried to fake sounding surprised, remembering that she wanted to fit in with the Murkle pupils more than anything.

    “Maybe they just don’t want to. We get loads of tourists up here and they buy the things with Moons printed all over them but I don’t think they have a clue what’s really going on up here. It’s real life for people like us and it can be pretty dangerous.”

    Tabs seemed to be getting upset. Jinger was not sure if it was because she did not like tourists or if it was to do with the danger, whatever that was.

    It was now getting very late even by Murkle standards. The girls made their way softly up the stairs. Jinger decided she had better risk upsetting Tabs more and just ask. She tugged on her new friend’s starry blue sleeve and whispered, “What’s so dangerous? Aren’t wolves just about the scariest things out there?”

    Tabs stopped on the landing between two flights of stairs and turned to face Jinger. There was a large window behind her, casting her in silhouette. Jinger could make out from her place on the stair below that Tabs had a serious and worried expression.

    “Come on, Tabs. You’ve told me everything else. If I’m going to stay here and maybe... erm... ” Jinger could not believe she was saying this, “… change like you then I need to know. What is more dangerous on Murkle Mountain than a wolf?”

    “A Woodcutter,” she replied, suddenly looking so angry Jinger barely recognised her.

Chapters

17

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HarperCollins Wrote

Twins Jessica and Jinger Barley were born minutes apart either side of the new millennium, and are as different as twins can be. Jinger, always sidelined compared to her “pretty” twin, starts at a new school in Murkle, which is famed for having its own moon. Whilst 113-year-old Arthur Oldham works to discover why this moon sometimes wanders, Jinger is trying to fit in at her school, but finds the lessons and schedule bizarre – not to mention the fact that students periodically leave to “join the pack” at the Upper School.

I found this a great read – quirky and fun – and thoroughly enjoyed discovering what on earth was going on at Murkle Manor School. Jinger is a very sympathetic character, and her anxieties about fitting in at a new school were well wrought – I think we can all empathise with those worries! Her father is similarly very likeable, and his determination to run a souvenir shop in a town where no tourists come is beautifully crafted. In fact, the characterisation in general is very strong – Arthur, Jessica, Tabs and Felix also jump off the page. I’d have liked to see a little more on Dorothy, however, to flesh her out a little.

The writing is strong, and the only criticism I have on this front is that some of the flashbacks lead to a little confusion, and perhaps need moving around. For example, the scene where Jinger receives the parcel from Helen leads to a lovely cliffhanger – what’s in it?! – but then the chronology became a little confusing for me, and it wasn’t clear what she had been sent for quite some time. I found myself having to flick back and forth to find out what was happening. Throughout the book there are plenty of twists and turns, which kept my attention very effectively, though I felt that some things perhaps needed to be revealed or alluded to earlier. In particular, I think the book would benefit from mentioning the prophecy and the Woodcutters earlier, as they become such an important part of the plot and yet are only first mentioned quite late.

This is a good novel, and I think it could have appeal within this age group due to its depictions of sibling rivalry, the terrors of starting a new school, and the wish to grow up quickly. However, there were a couple of plot points I thought might be out of sync with the readership the rest of the book seemed aimed at. Dorothy turns out to be very cruel and bloodthirsty indeed, particularly her role in the death of Jinger’s mother (and Caroline, though it passed me by until a second reading that Dorothy was therefore responsible for her daughter’s death too). Perhaps this was just because I found her one of the less well-rounded characters, and so her actions seemed particularly motiveless and pitiless – it wasn’t apparent to me why she was so concerned about the prophecy, and at the end I was still unclear what was in the bottle she was so keen to find. I also found the explanation of why the Murkle moon moves on the night Arthur is with May on the field a little ‘adult’, however vague, and I think May could need to be saved because of Julia without that having to be the night they, in the words of Arthur, “created her”.

I have to confess that, having thoroughly enjoyed the book so far, I was a little disappointed with the ending. The twist around the twins’ birth wasn’t entirely necessary, and to me it made the conclusion to the story rather frustrating, as it raised more questions than answers. I would have also liked to learn why Dorothy did what she did. That said, I hope there will be a sequel, as I am keen to know how the prophecy will be fulfilled! There’s something here, but it’s just not quite there yet.

Trailer Bride wrote 247 days ago

A wonderful and beautifully written, occasionally heartrending story, full of quirk and charm and whimsy, and laced with hidden depths, Jinger Barley is an Alt-Potter for those teenagers of all ages who know that life comes in more than fifty shades of grey.

Or, to put it another way, this book effing rocks.

benedict wrote 251 days ago

Chapter seven is still, in my opinion, the best thing on Authonomy.

It's absolute perfection and you should be very proud of your incredible book.

sincerely,

Benedict

CatherineM wrote 264 days ago

Lucy, you have quite spoiled me for returning all the reads I'm supposed to, and ruined me for reading anything that feels like work! Jinger is so perfect, and so enjoyable, I can't seem to make myself slog through any of the books I ought to be reading today. I am sure you have heard the obvious comparison before, but I feel like I did when I bought the first Harry Potter and didn't get anything productive done for the rest of the weekend. Bravo! Now, how am I going to clear a spot on my shelf? Hmmm...

Warmly,

Catherine Morgan
Nickel Ridge

mat012 wrote 266 days ago

Club Grimoire Review:

Perfection! Wonderfully written and instantly engaging with characters (both in the prologue and the first chapter) who leap off the pages and dance away with your time and imagination. It is written in the precisely perfect style for a young adult audience and puts my in mind of Terry Prachett's work for the YA market (which is a very good thing). I did not notice one single thing to nitpick over and whether that is due to the fact there is none or that I was so swept away it doesn't matter because the book is doing its job. I have high hopes of being able to proudly tell people that I read this before it was published.

High stars indeed!

Meagan

EllieMcG wrote 275 days ago

Club Grimoire:
I have nothing to add, because I believe it is perfect. In one chapter, I can say that it's clever, funny, and very well-written. I love this book, and want to see it on my real bookshelf.

Jimmy Window wrote 6 days ago

YARG review
back for chaps 11 - 13

chap 11:
'use this time usefully' - probably should change use or usefully to something else.
I was a bit surprised Jinger had no adverse reaction when Tabs mentioned werewolves. Did I miss something, or did Jinger already know (or suspect) about the students turning into wolves? This chapter did explain Felix's reaction to the silver necklace. I like when the explanation for something we read chapters earlier (something we couldn't possible understand then) is given.
chap 12:
not sure where all this fits in, but it's an interesting back story. The ending was quite sad.
chap 13:
'last night's stew?" - that was good!
I wonder reading this if the breeding experiments have some significance, other than to highlight Jinger's intellect. Wonder what's going on at the end of the chapter?

Still liking this

Jimmy Window wrote 13 days ago

YARG Review -
read chapters 8 - 10
chap 8 leaves one with questions throughout, but especially at the ending. I've never seen pajamas spelled pyjamas, though.
chap 9 has a great ending as well. Why does Felix hate the necklace?
chap 10 gives some interesting background on Arthur I really liked. Also the Murkle Moon stepping in to save May was good. Are these kids werewolves or something? Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out. The chapter again ends leaving us wanting to turn the page!

Still really like this story.
Jimmy

R.J.Gardham wrote 24 days ago

YARG review

Hello,

Read first 3 chapters and shall definitely get round to reading more! Loved the writing style, loved the subject.

Opening paragraph - 'much preferred a cup of tea.' The witty comparison sets up the chapter and lets me know I'm in for a treat - having read further I know this was correct. The style of writing is perfectly balanced between serious and whimsical - with an ample helping of humour lacing each line. Really enjoyable to read.
There are subtle allusions to more intelligent comedy - 'No, I'm Edward and she's Catherine,' - mixing up the sexes as well as the names of children by the aged man, a senior moment not made too big a deal of but just there in the background.

In Chapter I empathised with Jinger from the moment I first met her. This is well written via her interaction with her twin, all the more ironic because they are twins that they are described as 'opposites.'

First and second chapters introduce the Murkle Moon, which can apparently speak and wander, seamlessly into the body of the story, inviting further exploration. I really want to know what is special about this moon! The astronomy teachers and their discussion in Ch 3 provide some initial explanation into the night sky which throws light on this.

Ch3

Ms Flapp (appropriately named) is described inventively and in great detail particularly about her problem. This is quite original and a great character weakness not often heard of before. 'Lots of pupils would have a very hungry lunchtime,' - humourous consequence of her dithering!

Really great and I shall look forward to reading more.

Robert
Immortality of Ashes

Jimmy Window wrote 34 days ago

YARG review -
Back for more -
Chapter 5 -
I love the email to Arthur's grandddaughter about buying slippers from the TV screen
chapter 6 -
dusty-tasting glass of water. - nice!
...weird place full of unkempt teachers, choking pupils, and engraved beds - I like that
great ending to the chapter!
chapter 7 -
forever had other ideas - great line
I like the part about the standing excuse (and joke) of Douglas calling Julia to ask if there is anything she wants him to bring home from the souvenir shop.
I thought the ending of chap 6 was good - but chap 7 really ends with suspense! That was great.

No time to read more now, but I am on the edge of my seat. Who rammed them with the Land Rover and why?

Be back when I can,
Jimmy


Jimmy Window wrote 39 days ago

YARG review

Hi Lucy,

I read chapters 3 and 4. Chapter 4 was really nice. You brought to life the scene with the meat stuck in Felix's throat. I was squirmig. I could see Jinger sticking her hand down his throat and almost feel her trying to get her fringers around the lodged chunk. Yuk. That was well done! Nice way to end the chapter too. Chapter 4 was equally descriptive and disgusting when Felix coughed up the chunk and prompty stuffed it iback n his mouth.
Your descriptions of the girls sharing the room with Jinger are short and to the point. Something I could learn from! The last sentence in the chapter piques one's interest.

This book continues to be very good and is so well written.

I'll be back for more.
Jimmy

Jimmy Window wrote 45 days ago

YARG Review

hi Lucy,

After Lying About Sarah, I didn't know what to expect, but having read through chapter two, ths is another wonderful book.

Prologue -
Nice set up here. Very original. This guy isn't just talking to the moon (who talks back), he's talking to some 'other' moon. Curious as to what Arthur's job was - watching the Murkle Moon probably doesn't pay a lot. I have no idea why he's talking to the moon, or why it talks to him, but want to read on to find out. That's what a prologue should do! The changing millennium must mean something!

Chapter 1 -
"that idea began to stick as hard as a tiny shell on the side of a boat." - love this
You really did well at relating Jinger and Jessica as polar opposites.
Great ending to chapter 1.

Chapter 2 -
I love the way Ms. Flapp regards Arthur. The line "When Arthur returned to the school, the sky suddenly looked breathtaking, and Ms Flapps felt that she need not have bothered to look up before." is great.
The use of the tree when Ms Flapp was a girl to portray her inability to make decisions was brilliant.
Now the prologue comes into focus. I know why Arthur watched the Murkle Moon. It's still strange that the moon has feelings and when it gets hurt it reacts like a child (that's the way I saw it). But stange is good to me! I like that I've not read anything like this before.

This book is very different from Lying About Sarah, but your turn of phrase, clean editing, and impeccible style show through just the same. I prefer this book, because LAS is so heavy and despressing. Looks like you have the whole book here. I will chip away at it until I've read it all.

Jimmy

jessicaminor wrote 67 days ago

Yarg-

Lucy
wow this was very diffrent, i really enjoyed it. you have a great attention to detail. i also noticed i personally have difficulty with say diffrent charecters not the main ones but al the side charecters when i write, but you seem to be wonderful at it only thing in chapter 5 is the phrase chrismassed proper? i was unsure here it would be spent christmas with , but it may be the whole other country language thing again.

jessicaminor wrote 67 days ago

i really love the pitch on this one.. it looks great. i will comment on it when i get either a few chapters or all of it read...it's 4 a.m now so i better not read it yet....on watchlist though

Jacoba wrote 72 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I've read the first five chapters and I will be back for more. This is so well written, and a great read.
I loved the imagination in this, and all the characters names and quirks, Arthur is already a favourite. You have captured the voice needed for YA, and I think a wide range of ages in that category would enjoy this.
I laughed when Felix choked ...but didn't, and Tabs seems like such a nice character. You have captured the anxiety that must be felt joining a new school perfectly, Jinger reacts just like you would expect, meeting new people and adapting to her new environment. I liked her bed being under the slanting roof, a cosy place for her.
The descriptions are vivid but not overdone, and I your use of metaphors are spot on.
It has a Harry Potter feel, but is definitely its own story, so I see that as a good ... no great ... thing!!
I expect to see this published in the near future, I read a lot of literature in this category and this would certainly do well I'm sure. Great stuff.
Jx

Dr Hawkes wrote 79 days ago

A hugely enjoyable read with a likeable character in Jinger.
It was entertaining to read and It feels that the world of the character's is well developed and thought out.
I read the first 3 chapters and now want to see where the story is going. I think that young adults would find this engaging and there are some aspects that would resonate well.

I have added it to the watchlist and it gets high stars from me.

Dr Hawke (The Reluctant Adventures of E.Q.)

bjack wrote 90 days ago

Your writing is lively and draws me in as a reader! Love your verbs and the occasional one-sentence paragraph. when I get time, I'll definitely put this on my list of must reads! www.bettyjackson.net

Baisleac wrote 91 days ago

Great review. I hope it makes it into print!! I will certainly by a copy (and the sequelS).

stearn37 wrote 91 days ago

Hi
Congratulations on the positive review.
Hopefully i will see it in print soon.

John Stearn
Author of Derilium

davebending2 wrote 100 days ago

Hi Lucy,
Just finished chapter eight and realised how quickly i'm rattling through these chapters-always means it's a good read!!
CHAPTER 3-'his vivid dark eyes like flicks of calligraphy'-Very nice description, as is 'to woo the stars out of the sky with his snake-charmer's telescope' again brilliant.
CHAPTER 4-the bottom paragraph-'It was slippy' Did you mean slippy or slippery? Just wondered. Otherwise can't find anything i didn't like etc. More to read tomorrow evening.
Dave B

palynch wrote 101 days ago

Hey Lucy,

I've read chapters 1-8 and it is easy to see why you have done so well on this site. A truly imaginative and engaging story. Arthur and Jinger both grabbed my attention immediately and made me carry on reading through the chapters. Think I might even read the whole thing!

Patrick Lynch
The Spirits in the Shadows

Lyn4ny wrote 106 days ago

Hey Lucy,

I only read chapter one here but think this is a truly original piece and can't wait to come back for more. It stands alone and is outstandingly creative in nature. This is witty, clever and Arthur is just one-of-a-kind! Best of Luck to you but I know that you don't need any because you are already a hit on here!

-Lyn
NO REAL ESCAPE to my Nirvana
-Surviving Manic Depression- My story & The Real Truth to Managing It

Seringapatam wrote 114 days ago

Lucy Really good concept for a story. You have a lovely voice hear and I think this is a good book that could do so well. I know there are a few little issues that are mentioned below but nothing that cant be sorted. Great flow, brilliant characters and a great pace to this book. I felt myself drifting off right into the story and before I knew it I found myself as if I was in it. I have scored this high. Love it.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

Pozzo wrote 114 days ago

Hi - I enjoyed this (see my review below). I was just wondering of you wanted to return the favour and have a look at my offering 'Green Hour'? If you do, though, perhaps you could do me a favour and start at Chapter 7? I know that this is a weird request, but most of my reviews have been from people who have read the first couple of chapters only - there are some twists later on that I would like people to get a feel of...

I hope that you find time to have a little look at it,

Adrian

David Tiefenthaler wrote 114 days ago

How could an old man stop the Murkle Moon? What is the Murkle Moon? What did Arthur do 50 years ago? These are just a few of the questions I have after reading chapter one. What a great start! I'll be reading more and more of this in the days to come. I love it!

Joanne Jacquard wrote 115 days ago

I have dipped into several chapters and very much like what I see. It is now on my watchlist for that valuable moment when I have time to read it properly!

Hoping to get back to you later
Joanne Jacquard
Bryond the Camera

M.C. Schmidt wrote 119 days ago

Wow. This is lovely.

abbydarlaaanne wrote 120 days ago

This is a YARG review.

The plot you've created here is so unusual and original that it's absolutely enthralling! I really like the characters, and I love the way you've peppered the intrigue throughout the story. The dialogue is very natural for teenagers, which I think adds a little authenticity to the characters.
I can't wait to read the rest of this book as it promises to be great!
Abby

CATHERINE SHAW wrote 120 days ago

I have just started reading your book and it looks a delight. What an original idea and you write beautifully. I skipped to chapter seven at one point because of the rave reviews about it. I must say that it touched me because the subtlety of emotion was so beautifully done - very sad. I hope it is published! :)

Bruce Vaughan wrote 123 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I have read several chapters and enjoyed the expereince. I feel it has great potential definitely for the younger readers. I am sure that it be a success.
Bruce Vaughan
A Successful Outcome

Pozzo wrote 125 days ago

This is very imaginative and mostly really well written. The first chapter is intriguing and quirky, while the second plays, successfully, with different voices and registers (although I wonder if the information that it happens 'thirteen years later' could have been given a little more subtly..?) I would agree with another reviewer that Chapter 7 is a highlight. An enjoyable read - one with which to persevere.

Adrian

karamina wrote 126 days ago

If this isn't the next Harry Potter (I'm sorry if you've heard that comparison a million times) I will be amazed. Absolutely entrancing. You've created a world and I've been reading for so long that my eyes have gone square and I'm slightly surprised to look up and see the real world around me, not your world. Please, please say there's a sequel on the way: I am DYING to know what happens to (ahem, spoilers) now that she's (ahem, more spoilers!). R xxx

ps I have backed you and you'd have seven stars if I could :) x)

sllewis wrote 129 days ago

This is a YARG review!

Seeing as there is a little medal beside your name I was very interested to see why that was and I must admit I'm impressed with your writing skill. There's nothing really I can or would want to pick at in the shape of your craft because it's all well written. I have read up to Chapter Seven where Julia's car is... well don't want to spoil things but you know where I mean!

The format, where you have so far been mixing between Jinger, Arthur and toward the end of my read Julia is different and although in some stories this can be off putting and hard to follow, possibly due to the short Chapters, it doesn't feel out of place too out of place. The length of the Chapters themselves are quite sporadic for me, but then I know short chapters are enjoyed by a lot of readers, this is more of a personal preference and for me I have felt a few times the change of chapter was at the wrong time.

Obviously I haven't gotten very far into your book so to make comments now isn't the best way to give a full reflection but so far it's a bit of a slow burner, every time you've gotten to a point that made me think "here we go - somethings going to happen" you tease and switch. I would have liked to have had a little more action by Chapter Seven but then again, I will happily continue to read because it's clear you're building up to something good. Again - probably just me - but within the first seven chapters there's a few with none or very little dialogue which may have helped me to connect more with the characters in general.

Overall though as I said, you're clearly a good story teller and it's easy to see there's more to be had in this story which WILL make me continue reading. Good job :)

Kristi Dawn Hurley wrote 137 days ago

I only read a bit, but that's all it took to know I liked it. Congratulations on becoming an editor's pick!

Kristi
Casting Shadows

authordonna wrote 139 days ago

Hey Lucy, did you ever hear back from the editor's desk? Are they going to publish? They should:)

Scott Butcher wrote 152 days ago

Hi Lucy,

Another day when the world was supposed to end has just passed, so a really appropriate time to see what you'd created with this book "Jinger Barley and the Murkle Moon".

Lovely sister. Not. Just saving what little I've written while I check out another chapter. Oh, and now I'm up to chapter 6, just like that. Ms Flapp is an interesting character. So is Arthur. I'm waiting for him to name a planet. Still haven't quite worked out this Murkle Moon thing yet - how the town has its own moon. Especially haven't worked out how the near collision with the other moon would have happened. All a bit strange really, and fun. I won't add anything more to this comment. Jinger Barley and the Murkle Moon have had lots of comments already. I just wanted to see what it was all about. Well done Lucy. I'll keep reading for a bit longer before I go to sleep.

Regards Scott Butcher (The Merlin Falcon)

margaret c wrote 157 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I just wanted to thank you for all your help during my time on Authonomy. I have published The Magic Kingdom' on Amazon. I have another one on the go and hope to be back soon. However, is it just me that finds it hard to not only get on the site but to replace my edits etc. I am only asking because someone mentioned a comment on television about how difficult it is. Have a word in someone's ear please.Having said that it is an amazing site and the help and support has been wonderful. Good luck with your writing and have a happy christmas. Margaret C. PS. I liked to think I have also given back some support and encouragement.

Charles Wise wrote 158 days ago

A very interesting first chapter and one to add to my watch list. More comments as I have time to read.

Mary Jane Fahy wrote 160 days ago

Hello Lucy,
Read the first chapter of this book and I'm sure I'll return and read more later. I really sympathised with Jinger being the new girl at school, and the not so popular sister. So well polished, seems ready to go! I've put it on my WL as this is my fave genre.
Well done,
M.J

margaret c wrote 166 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I have just published The Magic Kingdom on Amazon. I wanted to say a big thank you for all your help and support. I have had a few problems on site with putting my new edits and replacing the first chapter. I still can't do it, and I have tried several times. I only wish it was a bit more straight forward. I will hopefully be back with my next book. Good luck with all you do, and a Merry Christmas Margaret C.

Leesha McCoy wrote 172 days ago

Wow, now I know what all the hype is about! Tbh, this is not my kind of book but I was completely drawn into it. Thanks for sharing this.
I'd love to crit you but i can't :-)
Best wishes,
Leesha McCoy - Abriya & Clarence. Becoming Aware. The Urban Paranormal Romance.

Mawdlin wrote 177 days ago

YARG review

I can only echo what has been said previously, a beautifully written piece of work with strong characters and plotting. I like the way you make us feel for Jinger instantly and although she's an outsider she is real enough to be believable. You describe her going to the new school, with all the trepidation that causes, with great sensitivity and the sense of foreboding is also executed expertly. I have read up to chapter 10 but so far it is compelling and makes me want to read more. I like the quirky characters (especially Tabs) can see there's lots of scope for intrigue and plot twists. The only thing I thought a bit odd is how most of your chapters are short and then suddenly there is a long chapter (7 I think) which seemed a bit inconsistent but this is only a minor niggle.

Hoping you get this published soon.

Mawdlin
The Witch's Cauldron

dbprdctns wrote 181 days ago

Love it! You have an incredible book here, it was imposable to put it down! The only critique I have is you might want to adjust your placement of the flash backs. You have Jinger opening the mail pouch in the lobby and being surprised by the contents, then she was suddenly in her dorm room and it wasn't explained what was in the mail until Felix reacted to it. I would put the flashback immediately after she opend the pouch and then move her on to the dorm. Either way you have beautiful writing and I can't wait to reed the next book!

C. G. Spaulding

Jennwith2ns wrote 183 days ago

So . . . I guess I was a little slow to actually be helpful in getting your book to the ED, but congratulations on getting (and staying) there all the same--it's certainly well-deserved. This book is flawlessly written.

evermoore wrote 192 days ago

I hope it's not too late to tell you that I love what I've read so far! Obviously, I'm not alone in my feelings for you already have a medal thingy. (smiles) It brings Harry Potter to mind but then makes you forget he exists. Pretty cool, if you ask me. I am tickled for your accomplishment and certain I will see this one in the window of my local bookstore! Congrats...Linda

celticwriter wrote 197 days ago

Hi Lucy, yeah, I'm a little late when it comes to reads. Congrats on your success! I'm not a critic, just a mere scriptwriter who enjoys a work which pulls one in, grabbing, holding, taking the reader along the journey. You make the genre your own. Would make a movie!

blessings,
Jim

made wrote 200 days ago

I really enjoyed this thank you

Andrea Beauvais wrote 200 days ago

This is an interesting story idea.. very original! I have never read a book where the moon was a character who spoke and especially affected the outcome of the story. Very cool so far. The other comments here are very praising so I know I am in for a treat as I read on.

The raven wrote 201 days ago

Congratulations on reaching the desk. I was glad to have backed your book. With your advice and support I can only hope to reach the same position someday

The Raven

The Buena Fortuna

carol jefferies wrote 201 days ago

A brilliant opening, and Arthur's character is very believable. Your writing is easy to read and very good.

I think your book will do well. It isn't my sort of thing I like to read otherwise I would have read more.

Kind Regards,

Carol

stearn37 wrote 202 days ago

Hi
Congratulations for being selected for review.
From
John Stearn

Cody Media Productions wrote 203 days ago

Unfortunately I haven't been around long enough and have just now discovered your book. I see why it made it to number 1. Congrats! It's wonderful!

Charles Knightley wrote 206 days ago

Loved the book, well written. Sometimes my mind did wonder and when I read paragraphs out of context it made me smile: Chapter 28 "Jinger undid the zip, and pulled the little object out."

pka wrote 208 days ago

Well, I am hooked. I have a sister, not a twin, but an older sister, who was mean to me, and I totally connect with Jinger. Oh, I so want her to find her place in the world, or in the glow of the Murkle Moon. Your characters - well, they are characters, and the movie is playing in my mind.

Need to go find room for this on my bookshelf! I will be back to read more. Well done.

Piddle Ping wrote 208 days ago

Though it won't be hard to remember, I'm going to remember your name and the name of your wonderful book-so that one day I can say I read it before it became so popular. From your picture I get the impression you are a rather young woman and that makes me even more so impressed with your writing and ability to weave such a WONDERFUL story. I'm only five chapters along but will be coming back night after night to continue and will try to complete it before you make it to the finish line. This is a true treasure, Lucy!

Charles Hobday wrote 209 days ago

I'm just starting to read this to my youngest grandchild, he's 14 and is liking it a lot. Good luck! Charles Hobday