Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 61905
date submitted 07.02.2012
date updated 02.11.2012
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
classification: moderate
complete

Jinger Barley and The Murkle Moon

Lucy Middlemass

Bloody moons. They never do what you want and this one is no different.

 

Why would anyone write a story about the last baby of the previous millennium?

Jinger’s birth date gave her the feeling that she was old when she was a little girl; that she really belonged to a time in which she had barely lived. Her twin was new and young, the inaugural child of the silver new year, whereas Jinger was a lingering remnant of the instantly unfashionable thousand years before.

Sent up to school in Murkle, home of the famous wandering Moon, Jinger wants to fit in with the other pupils so much she even tries to copy their accent. But people in Murkle seem to have been waiting for her to arrive, one of them for more than a hundred years.

 
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tags

astronomy, boarding school, fantasy, fiction, humour, magic, teen

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Chapters

21

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Chapter Twenty

 

There was a large crowd of people outside on the sports field. Adults stood around chatting, holding steaming bowls of soup, and children spun around their legs, playfully shoving each other and screaming. Felix remembered coming to the school on this night when he was much younger and doing the same thing with his friends from Murkle Primary School. He wandered through the people, looking for his dad or someone else to talk to. He had put his blazer back on in his room earlier then, having stuck his head out of the dorm window, he changed his mind and replaced it with his padded black regulation coat. He left his satchel on the door handle. He certainly would not need that this evening.

    There was no full moon tonight. Or at least no ordinary moon. The Murkle Moon was co-operating, however. It was fat and glowing above the woods at the top of the mountain. It seemed unnaturally large or perhaps unnaturally close, as though, if the trees were only slightly taller, there would be a risk of them pricking its round underside.     Felix made it to the far edge of the crowd, noticing vaguely that he was still only eye-level with most men’s elbows. He stood part way up the field facing the Lower School and tried to take in the view of the whole throng, hoping to catch sight of his mum or dad. Someone turned off all the lights in the school at once and the crowd cheered. Apart from the Murkle Moon and the glo-sticks some of the younger children were waving, there was no light at all.

    At the same moment as the crowd cheered, there came a chorus of howls from further up the mountain. The pupils from Upper School had changed. Felix remembered this order of events from previous years. The wolves appeared from around the temporary classroom and charged down the sloping field. Felix could hear the parents saying things like, “Is that Matthew? The one with the bushy tail? He’s doing so well, isn’t he?” as though they were watching an infant school nativity play. Oddly, as they came closer there was a point at which it became harder to see the wolves. The Murkle Moon did not shine so brightly on the middle part of the sports field as it did at the edge of the woods at the top. Felix strained to see if he could spot Leo or Toby but he was not sure he would recognise them in their wolf shape.

    As the animals ran nearer to the school, parents, teachers and visitors began to change too. Felix caught sight of his mum’s curly black hair a moment before she leant forwards and blurred. People vanished like flying fish diving back into the teeming ocean. He watched as the group thinned and more and more wolves dashed out of the crowd and raced towards the Upper School pupils. For a moment it looked as if the two groups would attack each other as soon as they met. But this was part of a display of sorts; symbolic of the Upper School pupils becoming part of the bigger Murkle wolf community. When they reached one another the wolves play-fought and wrestled on the ground before running off together towards the woods.

    Felix noticed for the first time a quiet group of older pupils had walked down the mountain. These were the Murkle children who could not change. They joined the remaining people gathered by the school and started to queue by the kitchen staff who were ladling out soup. Felix did not want to be like them.

    Now that so many people had transformed and run up the mountain, it was much easier for Felix to move through the crowd. He still had not seen his dad.

    “Hello, you!” said Jinger’s friendly voice. “Where’ve you been all afternoon? Were you doing something special for your birthday? You could have helped me with this in the library.” Jinger held up a large piece of cardboard with ‘Go Wolves’ written on it in silver letters. It looked like she had cut them out of tinfoil.

    Felix was relieved. At least now he would not have to stand on his own. He could talk to Jinger for a bit and keep an eye out for his dad at the same time. “I wasn’t doing much. Needed to save my energy for tonight. Where’s Tabs?”

    Jinger gave Felix a look which he hoped was not pitying. Even Jinger knew how much he wanted to change and she had only been at the school for a term. “Tabs is erm... she’s just coming. I think she had a headache or something. There’ll be hot dogs later,” she said, confusing Felix slightly with her quick change of subject.

    “Oh, suppose it’s because of last year,” Felix said and then asked, “Have you seen my dad?” before Jinger had the chance to ask more annoying questions. He wondered if he would have time to get his birthday presents before he changed.

    “No. Not since last Natural History lesson. I suppose he’s out here somewhere. What’s going to happen next? Is this what happened last year? Is your mum here too?”

    “She was. I didn’t see her to start with because it was too busy. She ran up to the woods with the others before I spoke to her though,” Felix replied distractedly.

    The two stood in the shrunken crowd for a while, Felix hardly concentrating on what Jinger was saying because he was too busy looking out for his parents. This was the first time in his life that he had not seen either of them at all on his birthday. In fact, he struggled to think of a time when he had not seen at least one of them on any day. As Jinger asked another question about what was going on tonight, he wondered if things would be different when he could change. Surely his parents would be as proud of him then as they were his older brothers?

    Jinger asked the question again and Felix could not stop himself from snapping, “Why do you need to know, Jinger? It’s not like you’re ever going to change! You shouldn’t even be at this school!” He felt bad about what he had said as soon as he had finished speaking but he was too angry and disappointed about his birthday to put it right. Everyone else had changed and he had not. He could hardly bear to think that he might not change tonight after all.

    Jinger looked surprised and then very sad. For a moment she looked like she might just walk away but then she shouted, “I don’t know why I would want to! You want to be a wolf so much that you even forgot to even thank me after I saved you from choking to death!” Then she walked away.

    It occurred to Felix lamely that she had not saved him. He had actually managed to cough up the meaty problem himself but he had to agree that he should have said thank you to her for trying. Still, it was just like Jinger to remember something like that. Tabs was a lot easier to get on with. It was as though Jinger thought that remembering to say please and thank you was more important than anything else.

    In fact, Felix did not need to tell Jinger what was going to happen next because before she had even reached the path round the school, the wolves in the wood began howling again. Felix knew that the Upper School pupils and the visitors to the school, including his own mum, were about to set off down the other side of Murkle Mountain for the Longest Night Hunt. There would not be much more they would be able to see from down here. The last wolves from the crowd to reach the edge of the woods were disappearing from view and Felix felt a stab of disappointment inside so raw that he almost staggered backwards.

    Leo and Toby had talked every evening through the summer about the Longest Night Hunt. Unsupervised hunting was forbidden in the woods because there had been problems in the past with pupils from the school hunting too enthusiastically. Felix had heard his brothers laughing about stories of previous generations of Upper School packs destroying almost the whole population of some little creature or other in a single night because they were unable to stop themselves. Felix’s mum warned them that she herself had had to endure the embarrassment of walking out of the woods and round the lake in her nightie because she had not noticed the sun coming up in time. Leo and Toby had thought that was pretty funny too.

    But on the Longest Night, hunting was permitted. Under the supervision of the visitors to the school, nearly all of whom had been pupils themselves at one time, the younger wolves were able to roam the whole woods from the top of the sports field, past the lake and down the other side of the mountain. They could let any scent they caught lead them to what they hoped would be a furry meal or at least a thrilling chase.

    Last year Toby had returned with a rabbit in his mouth much to older brother Leo’s annoyance. That had been the best bit of the night for Felix, although he had to force himself to ignore his faint feeling of repulsion and pity for the prey. He remembered how sure he had been on his thirteenth birthday that he would be joining them on his fourteenth. Even if he changed now he would have missed the highlight of the Murkle calendar.

    Felix stuck his hands in his coat pockets and began to walk slowly up the field, not particularly thinking about where he was going. He had not been able to find his dad or even Tabs and the rest of his family were too busy enjoying themselves to give him a thought. Jinger was annoyed with him. And he was not a wolf.

    As he reached the middle of the field it occurred to him that no one had stopped him yet. He was in the darkest area, dressed entirely in black. Although he was not going to risk looking back, he was fairly sure that everyone left in the crowd was too engrossed in their hotdogs and soup to notice him. It was just a short distance now to the woods, especially if he aimed towards the temporary classroom. There were no lights on anywhere.

    Felix reached the woods. The same logic that made him choose meat whenever it was served in the canteen and react unnecessarily rudely at things he thought might be silver, made him carry on walking. He might not have changed yet but maybe he could force it. The Moon would not be able to ignore a Murkle boy alone in the woods on the Longest Night, surely?

    The difficulty of moving through the trees focused his mind. There were lots of fallen branches and twisted roots he had to step over and patches of dead nettles to avoid. It was almost impossible in the near pitch darkness. In the distance, he could hear the wolves calling to each other so he did not stop. He wanted to watch them hunting even if he could not join in.

    After some time he realised that he had not seen the lake nor the ugly curved Upper School building. Confused, he felt a shred of fear tear through his middle. He had not been this way before. Momentarily losing his courage, he lost his footing too and slipped against the side of a thick tree, scraping himself on the bark in the same places as he had that morning on the gravel. He was about to swear when a large hand snapped out of the blackness and held him firmly over the mouth. He was pulled roughly to his feet and then hauled further into the woods by arms as strong and unmovable as the trees around them. Felix heard the wolves again.

    The Murkle Moon had abandoned him to a life without the security of a pack or even his family. As the man carried him effortlessly through the endless woods, Felix now knew without a doubt that he was destined not to be a wolf.

    Felix was to be a Woodcutter.

Chapters

21

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HarperCollins Wrote

Twins Jessica and Jinger Barley were born minutes apart either side of the new millennium, and are as different as twins can be. Jinger, always sidelined compared to her “pretty” twin, starts at a new school in Murkle, which is famed for having its own moon. Whilst 113-year-old Arthur Oldham works to discover why this moon sometimes wanders, Jinger is trying to fit in at her school, but finds the lessons and schedule bizarre – not to mention the fact that students periodically leave to “join the pack” at the Upper School.

I found this a great read – quirky and fun – and thoroughly enjoyed discovering what on earth was going on at Murkle Manor School. Jinger is a very sympathetic character, and her anxieties about fitting in at a new school were well wrought – I think we can all empathise with those worries! Her father is similarly very likeable, and his determination to run a souvenir shop in a town where no tourists come is beautifully crafted. In fact, the characterisation in general is very strong – Arthur, Jessica, Tabs and Felix also jump off the page. I’d have liked to see a little more on Dorothy, however, to flesh her out a little.

The writing is strong, and the only criticism I have on this front is that some of the flashbacks lead to a little confusion, and perhaps need moving around. For example, the scene where Jinger receives the parcel from Helen leads to a lovely cliffhanger – what’s in it?! – but then the chronology became a little confusing for me, and it wasn’t clear what she had been sent for quite some time. I found myself having to flick back and forth to find out what was happening. Throughout the book there are plenty of twists and turns, which kept my attention very effectively, though I felt that some things perhaps needed to be revealed or alluded to earlier. In particular, I think the book would benefit from mentioning the prophecy and the Woodcutters earlier, as they become such an important part of the plot and yet are only first mentioned quite late.

This is a good novel, and I think it could have appeal within this age group due to its depictions of sibling rivalry, the terrors of starting a new school, and the wish to grow up quickly. However, there were a couple of plot points I thought might be out of sync with the readership the rest of the book seemed aimed at. Dorothy turns out to be very cruel and bloodthirsty indeed, particularly her role in the death of Jinger’s mother (and Caroline, though it passed me by until a second reading that Dorothy was therefore responsible for her daughter’s death too). Perhaps this was just because I found her one of the less well-rounded characters, and so her actions seemed particularly motiveless and pitiless – it wasn’t apparent to me why she was so concerned about the prophecy, and at the end I was still unclear what was in the bottle she was so keen to find. I also found the explanation of why the Murkle moon moves on the night Arthur is with May on the field a little ‘adult’, however vague, and I think May could need to be saved because of Julia without that having to be the night they, in the words of Arthur, “created her”.

I have to confess that, having thoroughly enjoyed the book so far, I was a little disappointed with the ending. The twist around the twins’ birth wasn’t entirely necessary, and to me it made the conclusion to the story rather frustrating, as it raised more questions than answers. I would have also liked to learn why Dorothy did what she did. That said, I hope there will be a sequel, as I am keen to know how the prophecy will be fulfilled! There’s something here, but it’s just not quite there yet.

Trailer Bride wrote 248 days ago

A wonderful and beautifully written, occasionally heartrending story, full of quirk and charm and whimsy, and laced with hidden depths, Jinger Barley is an Alt-Potter for those teenagers of all ages who know that life comes in more than fifty shades of grey.

Or, to put it another way, this book effing rocks.

benedict wrote 252 days ago

Chapter seven is still, in my opinion, the best thing on Authonomy.

It's absolute perfection and you should be very proud of your incredible book.

sincerely,

Benedict

CatherineM wrote 265 days ago

Lucy, you have quite spoiled me for returning all the reads I'm supposed to, and ruined me for reading anything that feels like work! Jinger is so perfect, and so enjoyable, I can't seem to make myself slog through any of the books I ought to be reading today. I am sure you have heard the obvious comparison before, but I feel like I did when I bought the first Harry Potter and didn't get anything productive done for the rest of the weekend. Bravo! Now, how am I going to clear a spot on my shelf? Hmmm...

Warmly,

Catherine Morgan
Nickel Ridge

mat012 wrote 267 days ago

Club Grimoire Review:

Perfection! Wonderfully written and instantly engaging with characters (both in the prologue and the first chapter) who leap off the pages and dance away with your time and imagination. It is written in the precisely perfect style for a young adult audience and puts my in mind of Terry Prachett's work for the YA market (which is a very good thing). I did not notice one single thing to nitpick over and whether that is due to the fact there is none or that I was so swept away it doesn't matter because the book is doing its job. I have high hopes of being able to proudly tell people that I read this before it was published.

High stars indeed!

Meagan

EllieMcG wrote 276 days ago

Club Grimoire:
I have nothing to add, because I believe it is perfect. In one chapter, I can say that it's clever, funny, and very well-written. I love this book, and want to see it on my real bookshelf.

Jimmy Window wrote 7 days ago

YARG review
back for chaps 11 - 13

chap 11:
'use this time usefully' - probably should change use or usefully to something else.
I was a bit surprised Jinger had no adverse reaction when Tabs mentioned werewolves. Did I miss something, or did Jinger already know (or suspect) about the students turning into wolves? This chapter did explain Felix's reaction to the silver necklace. I like when the explanation for something we read chapters earlier (something we couldn't possible understand then) is given.
chap 12:
not sure where all this fits in, but it's an interesting back story. The ending was quite sad.
chap 13:
'last night's stew?" - that was good!
I wonder reading this if the breeding experiments have some significance, other than to highlight Jinger's intellect. Wonder what's going on at the end of the chapter?

Still liking this

Jimmy Window wrote 14 days ago

YARG Review -
read chapters 8 - 10
chap 8 leaves one with questions throughout, but especially at the ending. I've never seen pajamas spelled pyjamas, though.
chap 9 has a great ending as well. Why does Felix hate the necklace?
chap 10 gives some interesting background on Arthur I really liked. Also the Murkle Moon stepping in to save May was good. Are these kids werewolves or something? Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out. The chapter again ends leaving us wanting to turn the page!

Still really like this story.
Jimmy

R.J.Gardham wrote 25 days ago

YARG review

Hello,

Read first 3 chapters and shall definitely get round to reading more! Loved the writing style, loved the subject.

Opening paragraph - 'much preferred a cup of tea.' The witty comparison sets up the chapter and lets me know I'm in for a treat - having read further I know this was correct. The style of writing is perfectly balanced between serious and whimsical - with an ample helping of humour lacing each line. Really enjoyable to read.
There are subtle allusions to more intelligent comedy - 'No, I'm Edward and she's Catherine,' - mixing up the sexes as well as the names of children by the aged man, a senior moment not made too big a deal of but just there in the background.

In Chapter I empathised with Jinger from the moment I first met her. This is well written via her interaction with her twin, all the more ironic because they are twins that they are described as 'opposites.'

First and second chapters introduce the Murkle Moon, which can apparently speak and wander, seamlessly into the body of the story, inviting further exploration. I really want to know what is special about this moon! The astronomy teachers and their discussion in Ch 3 provide some initial explanation into the night sky which throws light on this.

Ch3

Ms Flapp (appropriately named) is described inventively and in great detail particularly about her problem. This is quite original and a great character weakness not often heard of before. 'Lots of pupils would have a very hungry lunchtime,' - humourous consequence of her dithering!

Really great and I shall look forward to reading more.

Robert
Immortality of Ashes

Jimmy Window wrote 35 days ago

YARG review -
Back for more -
Chapter 5 -
I love the email to Arthur's grandddaughter about buying slippers from the TV screen
chapter 6 -
dusty-tasting glass of water. - nice!
...weird place full of unkempt teachers, choking pupils, and engraved beds - I like that
great ending to the chapter!
chapter 7 -
forever had other ideas - great line
I like the part about the standing excuse (and joke) of Douglas calling Julia to ask if there is anything she wants him to bring home from the souvenir shop.
I thought the ending of chap 6 was good - but chap 7 really ends with suspense! That was great.

No time to read more now, but I am on the edge of my seat. Who rammed them with the Land Rover and why?

Be back when I can,
Jimmy


Jimmy Window wrote 40 days ago

YARG review

Hi Lucy,

I read chapters 3 and 4. Chapter 4 was really nice. You brought to life the scene with the meat stuck in Felix's throat. I was squirmig. I could see Jinger sticking her hand down his throat and almost feel her trying to get her fringers around the lodged chunk. Yuk. That was well done! Nice way to end the chapter too. Chapter 4 was equally descriptive and disgusting when Felix coughed up the chunk and prompty stuffed it iback n his mouth.
Your descriptions of the girls sharing the room with Jinger are short and to the point. Something I could learn from! The last sentence in the chapter piques one's interest.

This book continues to be very good and is so well written.

I'll be back for more.
Jimmy

Jimmy Window wrote 46 days ago

YARG Review

hi Lucy,

After Lying About Sarah, I didn't know what to expect, but having read through chapter two, ths is another wonderful book.

Prologue -
Nice set up here. Very original. This guy isn't just talking to the moon (who talks back), he's talking to some 'other' moon. Curious as to what Arthur's job was - watching the Murkle Moon probably doesn't pay a lot. I have no idea why he's talking to the moon, or why it talks to him, but want to read on to find out. That's what a prologue should do! The changing millennium must mean something!

Chapter 1 -
"that idea began to stick as hard as a tiny shell on the side of a boat." - love this
You really did well at relating Jinger and Jessica as polar opposites.
Great ending to chapter 1.

Chapter 2 -
I love the way Ms. Flapp regards Arthur. The line "When Arthur returned to the school, the sky suddenly looked breathtaking, and Ms Flapps felt that she need not have bothered to look up before." is great.
The use of the tree when Ms Flapp was a girl to portray her inability to make decisions was brilliant.
Now the prologue comes into focus. I know why Arthur watched the Murkle Moon. It's still strange that the moon has feelings and when it gets hurt it reacts like a child (that's the way I saw it). But stange is good to me! I like that I've not read anything like this before.

This book is very different from Lying About Sarah, but your turn of phrase, clean editing, and impeccible style show through just the same. I prefer this book, because LAS is so heavy and despressing. Looks like you have the whole book here. I will chip away at it until I've read it all.

Jimmy

jessicaminor wrote 67 days ago

Yarg-

Lucy
wow this was very diffrent, i really enjoyed it. you have a great attention to detail. i also noticed i personally have difficulty with say diffrent charecters not the main ones but al the side charecters when i write, but you seem to be wonderful at it only thing in chapter 5 is the phrase chrismassed proper? i was unsure here it would be spent christmas with , but it may be the whole other country language thing again.

jessicaminor wrote 68 days ago

i really love the pitch on this one.. it looks great. i will comment on it when i get either a few chapters or all of it read...it's 4 a.m now so i better not read it yet....on watchlist though

Jacoba wrote 73 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I've read the first five chapters and I will be back for more. This is so well written, and a great read.
I loved the imagination in this, and all the characters names and quirks, Arthur is already a favourite. You have captured the voice needed for YA, and I think a wide range of ages in that category would enjoy this.
I laughed when Felix choked ...but didn't, and Tabs seems like such a nice character. You have captured the anxiety that must be felt joining a new school perfectly, Jinger reacts just like you would expect, meeting new people and adapting to her new environment. I liked her bed being under the slanting roof, a cosy place for her.
The descriptions are vivid but not overdone, and I your use of metaphors are spot on.
It has a Harry Potter feel, but is definitely its own story, so I see that as a good ... no great ... thing!!
I expect to see this published in the near future, I read a lot of literature in this category and this would certainly do well I'm sure. Great stuff.
Jx

Dr Hawkes wrote 80 days ago

A hugely enjoyable read with a likeable character in Jinger.
It was entertaining to read and It feels that the world of the character's is well developed and thought out.
I read the first 3 chapters and now want to see where the story is going. I think that young adults would find this engaging and there are some aspects that would resonate well.

I have added it to the watchlist and it gets high stars from me.

Dr Hawke (The Reluctant Adventures of E.Q.)

bjack wrote 91 days ago

Your writing is lively and draws me in as a reader! Love your verbs and the occasional one-sentence paragraph. when I get time, I'll definitely put this on my list of must reads! www.bettyjackson.net

Baisleac wrote 92 days ago

Great review. I hope it makes it into print!! I will certainly by a copy (and the sequelS).

stearn37 wrote 92 days ago

Hi
Congratulations on the positive review.
Hopefully i will see it in print soon.

John Stearn
Author of Derilium

davebending2 wrote 101 days ago

Hi Lucy,
Just finished chapter eight and realised how quickly i'm rattling through these chapters-always means it's a good read!!
CHAPTER 3-'his vivid dark eyes like flicks of calligraphy'-Very nice description, as is 'to woo the stars out of the sky with his snake-charmer's telescope' again brilliant.
CHAPTER 4-the bottom paragraph-'It was slippy' Did you mean slippy or slippery? Just wondered. Otherwise can't find anything i didn't like etc. More to read tomorrow evening.
Dave B

palynch wrote 102 days ago

Hey Lucy,

I've read chapters 1-8 and it is easy to see why you have done so well on this site. A truly imaginative and engaging story. Arthur and Jinger both grabbed my attention immediately and made me carry on reading through the chapters. Think I might even read the whole thing!

Patrick Lynch
The Spirits in the Shadows

Lyn4ny wrote 107 days ago

Hey Lucy,

I only read chapter one here but think this is a truly original piece and can't wait to come back for more. It stands alone and is outstandingly creative in nature. This is witty, clever and Arthur is just one-of-a-kind! Best of Luck to you but I know that you don't need any because you are already a hit on here!

-Lyn
NO REAL ESCAPE to my Nirvana
-Surviving Manic Depression- My story & The Real Truth to Managing It

Seringapatam wrote 115 days ago

Lucy Really good concept for a story. You have a lovely voice hear and I think this is a good book that could do so well. I know there are a few little issues that are mentioned below but nothing that cant be sorted. Great flow, brilliant characters and a great pace to this book. I felt myself drifting off right into the story and before I knew it I found myself as if I was in it. I have scored this high. Love it.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Many thanks. Sean

Pozzo wrote 115 days ago

Hi - I enjoyed this (see my review below). I was just wondering of you wanted to return the favour and have a look at my offering 'Green Hour'? If you do, though, perhaps you could do me a favour and start at Chapter 7? I know that this is a weird request, but most of my reviews have been from people who have read the first couple of chapters only - there are some twists later on that I would like people to get a feel of...

I hope that you find time to have a little look at it,

Adrian

David Tiefenthaler wrote 115 days ago

How could an old man stop the Murkle Moon? What is the Murkle Moon? What did Arthur do 50 years ago? These are just a few of the questions I have after reading chapter one. What a great start! I'll be reading more and more of this in the days to come. I love it!

Joanne Jacquard wrote 116 days ago

I have dipped into several chapters and very much like what I see. It is now on my watchlist for that valuable moment when I have time to read it properly!

Hoping to get back to you later
Joanne Jacquard
Bryond the Camera

M.C. Schmidt wrote 119 days ago

Wow. This is lovely.

abbydarlaaanne wrote 121 days ago

This is a YARG review.

The plot you've created here is so unusual and original that it's absolutely enthralling! I really like the characters, and I love the way you've peppered the intrigue throughout the story. The dialogue is very natural for teenagers, which I think adds a little authenticity to the characters.
I can't wait to read the rest of this book as it promises to be great!
Abby

CATHERINE SHAW wrote 121 days ago

I have just started reading your book and it looks a delight. What an original idea and you write beautifully. I skipped to chapter seven at one point because of the rave reviews about it. I must say that it touched me because the subtlety of emotion was so beautifully done - very sad. I hope it is published! :)

Bruce Vaughan wrote 124 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I have read several chapters and enjoyed the expereince. I feel it has great potential definitely for the younger readers. I am sure that it be a success.
Bruce Vaughan
A Successful Outcome

Pozzo wrote 126 days ago

This is very imaginative and mostly really well written. The first chapter is intriguing and quirky, while the second plays, successfully, with different voices and registers (although I wonder if the information that it happens 'thirteen years later' could have been given a little more subtly..?) I would agree with another reviewer that Chapter 7 is a highlight. An enjoyable read - one with which to persevere.

Adrian

karamina wrote 127 days ago

If this isn't the next Harry Potter (I'm sorry if you've heard that comparison a million times) I will be amazed. Absolutely entrancing. You've created a world and I've been reading for so long that my eyes have gone square and I'm slightly surprised to look up and see the real world around me, not your world. Please, please say there's a sequel on the way: I am DYING to know what happens to (ahem, spoilers) now that she's (ahem, more spoilers!). R xxx

ps I have backed you and you'd have seven stars if I could :) x)

sllewis wrote 130 days ago

This is a YARG review!

Seeing as there is a little medal beside your name I was very interested to see why that was and I must admit I'm impressed with your writing skill. There's nothing really I can or would want to pick at in the shape of your craft because it's all well written. I have read up to Chapter Seven where Julia's car is... well don't want to spoil things but you know where I mean!

The format, where you have so far been mixing between Jinger, Arthur and toward the end of my read Julia is different and although in some stories this can be off putting and hard to follow, possibly due to the short Chapters, it doesn't feel out of place too out of place. The length of the Chapters themselves are quite sporadic for me, but then I know short chapters are enjoyed by a lot of readers, this is more of a personal preference and for me I have felt a few times the change of chapter was at the wrong time.

Obviously I haven't gotten very far into your book so to make comments now isn't the best way to give a full reflection but so far it's a bit of a slow burner, every time you've gotten to a point that made me think "here we go - somethings going to happen" you tease and switch. I would have liked to have had a little more action by Chapter Seven but then again, I will happily continue to read because it's clear you're building up to something good. Again - probably just me - but within the first seven chapters there's a few with none or very little dialogue which may have helped me to connect more with the characters in general.

Overall though as I said, you're clearly a good story teller and it's easy to see there's more to be had in this story which WILL make me continue reading. Good job :)

Kristi Dawn Hurley wrote 138 days ago

I only read a bit, but that's all it took to know I liked it. Congratulations on becoming an editor's pick!

Kristi
Casting Shadows

authordonna wrote 140 days ago

Hey Lucy, did you ever hear back from the editor's desk? Are they going to publish? They should:)

Scott Butcher wrote 152 days ago

Hi Lucy,

Another day when the world was supposed to end has just passed, so a really appropriate time to see what you'd created with this book "Jinger Barley and the Murkle Moon".

Lovely sister. Not. Just saving what little I've written while I check out another chapter. Oh, and now I'm up to chapter 6, just like that. Ms Flapp is an interesting character. So is Arthur. I'm waiting for him to name a planet. Still haven't quite worked out this Murkle Moon thing yet - how the town has its own moon. Especially haven't worked out how the near collision with the other moon would have happened. All a bit strange really, and fun. I won't add anything more to this comment. Jinger Barley and the Murkle Moon have had lots of comments already. I just wanted to see what it was all about. Well done Lucy. I'll keep reading for a bit longer before I go to sleep.

Regards Scott Butcher (The Merlin Falcon)

margaret c wrote 158 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I just wanted to thank you for all your help during my time on Authonomy. I have published The Magic Kingdom' on Amazon. I have another one on the go and hope to be back soon. However, is it just me that finds it hard to not only get on the site but to replace my edits etc. I am only asking because someone mentioned a comment on television about how difficult it is. Have a word in someone's ear please.Having said that it is an amazing site and the help and support has been wonderful. Good luck with your writing and have a happy christmas. Margaret C. PS. I liked to think I have also given back some support and encouragement.

Charles Wise wrote 159 days ago

A very interesting first chapter and one to add to my watch list. More comments as I have time to read.

Mary Jane Fahy wrote 161 days ago

Hello Lucy,
Read the first chapter of this book and I'm sure I'll return and read more later. I really sympathised with Jinger being the new girl at school, and the not so popular sister. So well polished, seems ready to go! I've put it on my WL as this is my fave genre.
Well done,
M.J

margaret c wrote 167 days ago

Hi Lucy,
I have just published The Magic Kingdom on Amazon. I wanted to say a big thank you for all your help and support. I have had a few problems on site with putting my new edits and replacing the first chapter. I still can't do it, and I have tried several times. I only wish it was a bit more straight forward. I will hopefully be back with my next book. Good luck with all you do, and a Merry Christmas Margaret C.

Leesha McCoy wrote 173 days ago

Wow, now I know what all the hype is about! Tbh, this is not my kind of book but I was completely drawn into it. Thanks for sharing this.
I'd love to crit you but i can't :-)
Best wishes,
Leesha McCoy - Abriya & Clarence. Becoming Aware. The Urban Paranormal Romance.

Mawdlin wrote 178 days ago

YARG review

I can only echo what has been said previously, a beautifully written piece of work with strong characters and plotting. I like the way you make us feel for Jinger instantly and although she's an outsider she is real enough to be believable. You describe her going to the new school, with all the trepidation that causes, with great sensitivity and the sense of foreboding is also executed expertly. I have read up to chapter 10 but so far it is compelling and makes me want to read more. I like the quirky characters (especially Tabs) can see there's lots of scope for intrigue and plot twists. The only thing I thought a bit odd is how most of your chapters are short and then suddenly there is a long chapter (7 I think) which seemed a bit inconsistent but this is only a minor niggle.

Hoping you get this published soon.

Mawdlin
The Witch's Cauldron

dbprdctns wrote 182 days ago

Love it! You have an incredible book here, it was imposable to put it down! The only critique I have is you might want to adjust your placement of the flash backs. You have Jinger opening the mail pouch in the lobby and being surprised by the contents, then she was suddenly in her dorm room and it wasn't explained what was in the mail until Felix reacted to it. I would put the flashback immediately after she opend the pouch and then move her on to the dorm. Either way you have beautiful writing and I can't wait to reed the next book!

C. G. Spaulding

Jennwith2ns wrote 184 days ago

So . . . I guess I was a little slow to actually be helpful in getting your book to the ED, but congratulations on getting (and staying) there all the same--it's certainly well-deserved. This book is flawlessly written.

evermoore wrote 193 days ago

I hope it's not too late to tell you that I love what I've read so far! Obviously, I'm not alone in my feelings for you already have a medal thingy. (smiles) It brings Harry Potter to mind but then makes you forget he exists. Pretty cool, if you ask me. I am tickled for your accomplishment and certain I will see this one in the window of my local bookstore! Congrats...Linda

celticwriter wrote 198 days ago

Hi Lucy, yeah, I'm a little late when it comes to reads. Congrats on your success! I'm not a critic, just a mere scriptwriter who enjoys a work which pulls one in, grabbing, holding, taking the reader along the journey. You make the genre your own. Would make a movie!

blessings,
Jim

made wrote 201 days ago

I really enjoyed this thank you

Andrea Beauvais wrote 201 days ago

This is an interesting story idea.. very original! I have never read a book where the moon was a character who spoke and especially affected the outcome of the story. Very cool so far. The other comments here are very praising so I know I am in for a treat as I read on.

The raven wrote 202 days ago

Congratulations on reaching the desk. I was glad to have backed your book. With your advice and support I can only hope to reach the same position someday

The Raven

The Buena Fortuna

carol jefferies wrote 202 days ago

A brilliant opening, and Arthur's character is very believable. Your writing is easy to read and very good.

I think your book will do well. It isn't my sort of thing I like to read otherwise I would have read more.

Kind Regards,

Carol

stearn37 wrote 203 days ago

Hi
Congratulations for being selected for review.
From
John Stearn

Cody Media Productions wrote 204 days ago

Unfortunately I haven't been around long enough and have just now discovered your book. I see why it made it to number 1. Congrats! It's wonderful!

Charles Knightley wrote 207 days ago

Loved the book, well written. Sometimes my mind did wonder and when I read paragraphs out of context it made me smile: Chapter 28 "Jinger undid the zip, and pulled the little object out."

pka wrote 208 days ago

Well, I am hooked. I have a sister, not a twin, but an older sister, who was mean to me, and I totally connect with Jinger. Oh, I so want her to find her place in the world, or in the glow of the Murkle Moon. Your characters - well, they are characters, and the movie is playing in my mind.

Need to go find room for this on my bookshelf! I will be back to read more. Well done.

Piddle Ping wrote 209 days ago

Though it won't be hard to remember, I'm going to remember your name and the name of your wonderful book-so that one day I can say I read it before it became so popular. From your picture I get the impression you are a rather young woman and that makes me even more so impressed with your writing and ability to weave such a WONDERFUL story. I'm only five chapters along but will be coming back night after night to continue and will try to complete it before you make it to the finish line. This is a true treasure, Lucy!

Charles Hobday wrote 210 days ago

I'm just starting to read this to my youngest grandchild, he's 14 and is liking it a lot. Good luck! Charles Hobday