Dark Winds Cold Days

Simon J Moore

After years of polluting the earth unknown forces are beginning to hunt and kill humans. One man can help but will he be in time?

Back in the 1970s we knew of the damage we caused to the earth but we did little to stop it. After millions of years work, the gods of the mountains, sky, earth and water that helped to create this world now sleep. The damage is now causing unpredictable storms, hurricanes, tsunamis and torrential downpours with people being injured or killed. Whilst the gods sleep unknown forces are at work during the storms killing humans and beginning to hunt us. If the gods wake it will be world wide genocide. A number of scientists spent many years to finally find a way to stop the pollution and repair the ozone only to be killed off. The secret is now held by one man who is now waiting until the earth is so polluted that the governments of the world will give him anything he wants for the solution. One man knows of his secret and is now out to stop him but first he needs to find just one small stone stolen from him years ago that will help him in his fight. Can he find it before its too late for the earth and the human race?

report abuse

read the book

back the book

add to watchlist

rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

tags

environment, horror, scary

on 0 bookshelves

on 0 watchlists

1 comments

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

Warrick Mayes wrote 463 days ago

Simon,

I read the first part of the first chapter and found a few things that niggled. There is a bigger problem however, sometimes you tend to overstate, treating the reader like a child instead of letting them see for themselves. I skipped through the rest of the chapter to see where the story was going, and it does seem that you have some good ideas and do start to get to the point.

The three paragraphs demonstrate what I mean. "He couldn't move anymore, that was the last of his strength." Both parts of the sentance seem to state the same idea. The sentences prior to "David was dead" rather suggested exactly this concept.

Early on, I took some notes.
Some of your sentecnes are very long and need som more punctuation. Have a look at the following:
"Including the children......twenty five people in total at the party." probably needs a comma after Mary.
"David and Mary worked.......look after their children."
"They were in every cupboard.......in the first four minutes."

"All of a John’s best friends would be there." needs the "a" removing.

"...were the two had met the year before." should be "where the two..."

"...and so was the rest of the twenty two screaming kids." should be "were" instead of "was". also these twenty two kids suddenly become "...twenty three Tasmanian devils."

"Who knew a mere cup-cake could make such devastation." is not necessary. Leave the reader to do the imagining, the previous description was more than ebnough.

Best regards
Warrick

report abuse