Book Jacket

 

rank 1757
word count 64097
date submitted 15.02.2012
date updated 18.06.2012
genres: Non-fiction, Biography, Harper True...
classification: universal
complete

Into Light

Denys Leclerc and Tarri Hall

I was small, deaf and spastic. Labeled retarded and hopeless, yet I became a senior chemist and linguist. That makes me smile.

 

I was a skinny, nerdy kid - spastic and deaf. For many years, that didn't change. Suddenly I am changing and really scared. My body is messed up, in constant pain and memory failing.

Parts of my childhood were magical. I explored the forests, built kingdoms in the snow and played on the beaches of distant planets. And then I started school. There I learned that I was different and that pain wasn’t always in my body - it was in my heart. With the label "retarded," I was made to go to handicapped school where I was bullied, beaten and frightened every day.

Until one day, I realized that other kids were scared, too. We fought back together. For every foot that kicked me or tripped me, there was a hand to help me, a friend to face down bigotry, bullying and discrimination. All my life, those hands have been there.

They say I am a renaissance man – but I am just Denys in a small, pain-filled body with a curious mind, open eyes and wonder in my heart.

 
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, adult bullying, bullying, cerebral palsy, chemistry, deaf, disability, diversity, dopamine responsive dystonia, drd, dystonia, fractals, handicap sc...

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Chapter 9

IRISCO: The Microcomputer Store

 

It is late evening.  I took a nap when John, Annette and I returned from work. It was a short day because the temperature is so low and we’re all exhausted.  It became a very long nap.  Tarri packed while I slept and then we had another fantastic, homemade meal.  I love to eat and there is nothing we have done so well here as eat and laugh.  It has been a wonderful break from the stress and anxiety of the past three years.  My admiration for Annette’s stamina and discipline is boundless.  I have come to love John like a brother and he fills a hole I hadn’t realized was so painful.  My two weeks here flew and I will return, but now it is time for the next step in our journey – tomorrow we leave for Rochester and the Mayo Clinic. 

 

Tarri isn’t resting well.  As we were preparing to leave Canada, she received a phone call that her last and favorite Uncle had passed away that morning.  She had to make a decision quickly whether to return to California or leave for Mayo.  I know she struggled with her decision and I, also, knew then she would not cancel our trip.  She hasn’t said much about it but we both loved Uncle Bob.  In one of those little quirks of life, Rebecca, Uncle Bob and I all shared the same birth date.  Uncle Bob was deaf and drilled wells for a living.  He was self-taught and his knowledge of geology was astounding.  Rebecca is a technical writer (self-taught) and artist (by avocation and education). She has some native instinct for understanding computing theory that is weird.  The three of us became very close, very quickly.  To be honest, I wanted to go to California but was selfish enough to hope we wouldn’t delay the Mayo appointment. Tarri has paid that price by not being with Rebecca who is grieving for her Uncle and not being with the rest of her family in California during this difficult time.  Her commitment to me is humbling. 

 

Tomorrow, no matter how little rest she gets, Tarri will be driving and listening to music and, realistically, I will probably sleep most of the day. I am writing tonight.  I can’t help but fear what’s coming even as I know there is now an answer.  How do I know?  Deductive reasoning, I guess.  Dr. Petersen was to call if they needed more tests or information, and we would have returned.  If not, we were to return as scheduled and he would give us the results, prognosis and recommendation. 

 

Some people say, it’s not death … it’s dying that scares me.  In some ways, I have to admit that it’s not death but being a vegetable that scares me.  I’ve hated these past two years, what I can remember of them.  I’ve hated not remembering, getting lost in the grocery store, being unable to find my car after I park it, and all the things that have gone wrong.  I hate that little piece of paper in my pocket so, if I forget who I am or where I belong, someone can point the way home. 

 

I’ve hated being on medical leave and away from friends who are also co-workers – friends that understand the light and the power of chemistry.  And I really hate how frightening this has all been for the people I love.  My children are closer to my new wife than they are to me.  This has been a nightmare and the only way to wake up is to know.  We are so close to achieving that goal and yet I cannot seem to want to open my eyes tonight.  I am afraid to know.  

 

For some time I have been unable to function without lists.  Tarri prepares them for me; however, I cannot alter or add to the list.  If there is a change, I give the old list to her to rewrite with the new instructions, in the correct order, for me to complete the tasks.  I carry a card in my shirt or coat pocket with my name, home address and phone number.  These coping strategies along with my early psychological evaluations caused some professionals to a probable diagnosis of Mild Cognitive Impairment or MCI, a precursor to Alzheimer’s disease.  Dr. Sheldon could not accept that diagnosis as he observed that data was getting into my brain but I could not retrieve it without prompting. That is not Alzheimer’s. 

 

I am afraid.  If this continues, there will be no new opportunities for me.  There will be only the kindness and gentleness from my wife and children to ease the days.  But there were opportunities before; many of them and I eagerly rushed every fence to experience every one. 

 

In the first year of my graduate studies, I helped start a microcomputer store in downtown Québec City with Ricardo Talbot, my old chum from the Petit Séminaire.  By that time, Ricardo had graduated as an electronics engineer from Laval.  Another friend from Laval, Rafael Candela, Jr. was then working towards his MBA and decided to join us. Since my hearing aids would occasionally whistle, I was dubbed R2D2 after the robot character from Star Wars and known as IRISCO’s Bionic Man!

 

I worked there part-time, mostly on weekends and on Thursdays and Fridays, when stores were open. Our store was the first of its kind in Québec City.  At that time, computers came in kits that needed to be assembled on-site before they could be sold.  Hobbyists and ham radio operators constituted the majority of our customer base.

 

We quickly assembled those kits and then had a lot of fun running smoke tests and logic diagnostics. Woe to the one that was too liberal with soldering material (mostly me) because that produced a soldering joint that caused the test diagnostics to fail. We then had to inspect the motherboard by hand with a magnifying glass to identify the offending spurious connection. After a few months of that tedious and labor-intensive work, we finally concluded that we should hire a qualified technician and focus, instead, on sales and marketing.

 

Ricardo Talbot: Some – including I – say that Life is like a ball game.  So Denys arrived at the plate, just like many of us, with 2 men out and 3 men on.  First pitch:  Forgot to breathe; Cerebral palsy: Strike 1.  Second pitch:  Lost hearing:  Strike 2.  Oh my God, we are far, far away from the Pennant, aren't we?  The pitcher was willing to walk him to first base, but his parent coaches said no:  Great call.  Honest.  Next pitch:  Hits it with an out-of-this-world IQ.  The rest is history.  Home run heard around the world.  I am barely exaggerating: is it not true that this book will find readers everywhere around the world?

 

And although he could have simply scooted around the bases, Denys chose to run.  Not the Forrest Gump way, but the cheetah way.  "Menou", as his fellow students at Collège des Jésuites affectionately called him, dashed through his scholar and professional careers at a blinding speed that would not allow anything – or anyone – to stop him. He would occasionally stop to destabilize unaware victims with one of his favorite games, which you could call the "pity-me-and-then-see-me-kick-you-big-time-in-the-teeth" tactic.  You see, we both grew up in a society where "normality" was everything, and every first encounter with Denys (including my own) was a most memorable experience.  I saw Denys at work, a genuine Yoda at instant image rebuilding: he would observe the other party carefully, and at the first sign of any form of discomfort, pity or contempt (it happened), he would immediately come up with the big-time kick in the teeth.  He would pronounce the magic words that would turn the perceived marginal into a genius, just as he would turn the frog into a prince.  He would cast famous spells such as "Pergamum was in Asia minor", or "Schrödinger's Time dependent equation has its limitations".  He might just as well have yelled "Vavoom!  Dead in your incisors!  Don't you ever look at me from above again!"  And you could bet your life you would never do that again.

 

There is so much more to Denys F. Leclerc.  One could write a book about him.  But wait…  Has he not done that, too?[1]   

 

I also moonlighted as a software programmer and wrote computer programs for various projects, usually in BASIC. I remember spending many weekends debugging these programs, a difficult task at the time because diagnostic tools were rudimentary or non-existent. Ricardo and I logged tons of time doing this.

 

The business grew rapidly and, after the first year, we moved to a bigger and more central location, on boulevard Charest, one of Québec City’s bigger thoroughfares. Instead of a single room, we now had a big display room showcasing several microcomputer models, an office, an assembly/repair shop, and a small washroom. In the absence of regular volunteers among the all-male staff, the toilet, of course, was maintained by yours truly until we could afford a cleaning service. I have never been able to live with dirt or clutter and have always been willing to do the work myself, if necessary, to keep my environment comfortable.

 

I am proud to report that I was the first to sell a microcomputer at Laval, to a professor of polymer chemistry, Dr. Robert Prud’homme, who succumbed to my sales pitch. He became very happy with his purchase since he didn’t have to wait for the University’s mainframe to disgorge the results. Instead of several hours, he could get results within seconds.   

 

When we were studying together at the Petit Séminaire, Ricardo had been working part-time in a camera shop, and it was from him that I had purchased my first and only SLR manual camera, complete with flash and accessories. However it was later, during my years of graduate school at Laval, I began to develop a lifelong interest in photography.  I was and still am particularly intrigued by natural phenomena such as lunar and solar eclipses, natural wonders and urban life. During that time, you could see me lugging my camera bag and tripod around town and the countryside, looking and waiting for the perfect shot. I still have and treasure this camera, since this was the last mass-manufactured manual camera before the migration to more and more automatic cameras.

 

During this time with the company, being busy with school, astronomy, writing and the camera, I didn’t lack companionship—I had so many friends and varied interests. I would have liked to have been involved with someone for conversation and company, but I saw other graduate students attempt to juggle school, work, relationships, even children, and I didn’t know what I was willing to change to have that kind of relationship. I wanted to experience a normal (that word again!) dating life with some loving relationships but it didn’t happen for many reasons, not the least of which was my appearance and speech impediment. I have to admit that my appearance was more important in the dating world than it was in education but only marginally. This pattern would later be repeated when I looked for a job. While on the one hand, I refused to allow people’s biases to prohibit me from attaining my goals, I also realized that there are limited emotional resources we have to fight battles on numerous fronts. My life was full but I had to make choices and, for me, the battle in which I was already engaged in—to get a Ph.D. in Chemistry—was the primary battle I chose to invest my energies in, at that time. So there was the loneliness that I needed to fill. Photography added another dimension to my life and helped fill that need. 

 

The store was located downtown, close to a lot of restaurants serving a variety of foods from all over the world. I began developing an appreciation of various ethnic cooking. To this day, I enjoy Louisiana Cajun cooking, Japanese, and authentic Mexican food, as much as Maman’s French and Italian cooking. 

 

During my last year of graduate studies at Laval, I worked at IRISCO more often than previously while contemplating the next step in my studies. I looked around for professors who could help me finish my education and, with Prof. Turrell’s help, determined that, of the three that met the requirements for my discipline, Dr. James de Haseth would be the best person available. 

 

Professor de Haseth was at the University of Alabama at that time.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to move to the United States and, even more unsure about a move to Alabama. 

 

I applied to study with Prof. de Haseth in the spring of 1980, with some trepidation.  Not long after, Jim came to Quebec City looking for some instrumentation for the University lab.  He agreed to come to the house to meet with me.  Despite the highest recommendations, university professors reserve the right to the final decision whether or not to take on a new Ph.D. candidate.  I was understandably nervous but Jim was very gracious and personable.  My parents hosted dinner and we had a great evening. 

 

Jim de Haseth: Denys first contacted me when I was a starting Assistant Professor at the University of Alabama.  I began my position only one year before and I had not attracted any graduate students to my group.  The summer before my second year was spent at the U.S. Environmental Protection Laboratory in Athens, Georgia, and that led to considerable funding.  This permitted me to seek the purchase of a new instrument for my research.  It was on a trip to look at a spectrometer in Quebec that I first met Denys.

 

    Denys and his father met me at the airport and took me to their holiday cottage in the Laurentian Mountains.  Denys and his parents were most gracious hosts and we enjoyed an excellent meal and a great evening in their cottage.  I was very pleased that Denys had agreed to come to Alabama to undertake his graduate studies.  It was clearly apparent that Denys is very intelligent and was capable of being a successful scientist.

 

My application to the University of Alabama was accepted.  And that is how a French Canadian with “cerebral palsy and profoundly deaf” ended up at the University of Alabama! 

 

I sold my share of the computer store and that provided enough money to move and pay my first year’s tuition.  Later on, I received a teaching assistant stipend and was able to get research fellowships to continue my studies.

 

As mentioned previously, my sister France joined IRISCO, in the late eighties, and remained for several years. Following the introduction of mass-production PCs, the business morphed itself into a software-based company offering ERP/MRP integrated solutions for manufacturing companies and still exists today, more than thirty years after its founding, no mean feat in the IT business. It is a success story that reflects the flexibility and good business acumen of its principal founder, Ricardo Talbot.


 
Interlude — Poetry

 

Moonlight Sonata

 

Nightfall

The moon rose

An orange

In a jet-black sky

In my youth

I discovered unknown seas

Plains and oceans

Of translucent horizons

 

Sea of Tranquility

The Eagle has landed

The day was dying from heatstroke

She was there

Lying down like a flower

Evening’s breeze chased the torpor

We looked at each other

        Straight in the eye

 

Sea of Fertility

Autumn’s wheat was heavy

With the weight of its ears

An enormous shiver

Ran through the enchanted plain

A mean bumblebee was teasing the roses

Two lovers were rolling around

Barely visible in the high grass

 

 

Sea of Rains

Rainstorm of rainstorms

O marvelous rain

Our bodies become oases

And you whisper in our hair

The song of universal intimacy

But we came to know

Our ultimate secret

Cries in the night

An owl was doing its round

 

Ocean of Storms

The rain was ending

The squall exhausted itself

Over the shore

Of the erstwhile continent

The world was falling asleep

But then I parted with my youth

And the years of innocence came to an end

 

D. L.

 


 

[1] Ricardo Talbot, B.Sc. Applied Engineering., President, IRISCO du Québec Inc.

 

Chapters

11

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Tarri wrote 119 days ago

Thank you for your comment and insight, Catherine. Denys is indeed quite unique and somewhat an old fashioned gentleman, in a weirdly French style. We both appreciate your remarks about style as it was very difficult to do and I nearly snatched myself bald in the process. Thanks again. Take care, Tarri

CATHERINE SHAW wrote 119 days ago

What a wonderful, touching story. Denys is a brave man and I applaud him. Beautifully written and very informative. High stars!!

Tarri wrote 119 days ago

Thank you so much foryour comments and support. Denys and I have been really busy with family and some health issues he's having. We really appreciate our friends here who represent some of the best writers of the next decade. Our book took over five years to write and Denys is trying, as he is able, to translate it into French. Living in Canada and being born in Quebec, a release in French is almost a requirement. Unfortunately, he is having some of the old executive function problems and that makes translations very difficult. But we are plugging through and encouragement keeps us going. Thank you, again, for your interest and positive input. All the best, Tarri

superostah wrote 122 days ago

I have to be honest here, I can't seem to get enough of true-life stories of people fighting through adversity. I'm happy to say, however, that this is one of the better examples I've read of such tales. I'm only a few chapters in at this point, but your writing style is very strong and thorough. I really like the idea of your footnotes, as it allows the reader to know more about the specific details of your story without needing to bog down the narrative for those who just want to get into the meat.
All in all, this is a very interesting, and motivating, read. I'm adding you to my watchlist and will be back to read more as time permits. High stars!

Tarri wrote 355 days ago

This is a moving story, and one I hope would raise the spirits of anyone wrestling with any kind of disability, and feeling alone. I think it takes tremendous courage to lay out your life story for the world to see. Best of luck with this!
-- Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/



Hi Tod:

Thank you so much for your kind words and comments. It is great to hear these from someone who deals daily with the challenges kids have while growing up, integrating into society and becoming contributors.

Tarri and Denys

Tod Schneider wrote 357 days ago

This is a moving story, and one I hope would raise the spirits of anyone wrestling with any kind of disability, and feeling alone. I think it takes tremendous courage to lay out your life story for the world to see. Best of luck with this!
-- Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Tarri wrote 363 days ago

Hi Denys and Tarri,

I've read the opening sections and first chapter or so of your book and was drawn in. It is great to hear such a strong voice telling a story that could easily remain untold. I think you describe the situation you find yourself in simply but effectively. I love that simplicity.

Thank you.

Sally

Four Movements.



Hi Sally:

This is Denys. Tarri is away for a few days. Thank you for your feedback and encouragement. We really like to hear from people that understand what we went through as a couple, and, before I met Tarri, my life as a disabled individual.

However, for some reason, we have had trouble getting people to back the book for extended periods of time. Any suggestions?

Take care,

Denys

BTW, I will return the read sometimes this week.

SallyXB wrote 363 days ago

Hi Denys and Tarri,

I've read the opening sections and first chapter or so of your book and was drawn in. It is great to hear such a strong voice telling a story that could easily remain untold. I think you describe the situation you find yourself in simply but effectively. I love that simplicity.

Thank you.

Sally

Four Movements.

Tarri wrote 386 days ago

Thank you for your comments, Terences. Denys loves that story, even as an adult. It is rather the foundation of his life and his faith. We appreciate your encouragement and support. Good luck and safe journeys,
Tarri

have to agree with Patio. i thought the bit at the start about the tree was amazing. More amazing when you say you wrote it at 12. glad i got told to read this, it's moving but very interesting . Don't think i noticed anything wrong with it at all.
Terence

Tarri wrote 386 days ago

Your book reflects a life with too much sorrow and relatives but no family. I am so sorry, Patio, that your life was that souless but so very glad you found the light in your own soul. You have friends - you have made friends with your words and heart. Safe journeys,
Tarri

very moving story.

I knew already but your story confirmed that family can be like enemy

Terence Brumpton wrote 387 days ago

have to agree with Patio. i thought the bit at the start about the tree was amazing. More amazing when you say you wrote it at 12. glad i got told to read this, it's moving but very interesting . Don't think i noticed anything wrong with it at all.
Terence

patio wrote 388 days ago

very moving story.

I knew already but your story confirmed that family can be like enemy

pompeiia wrote 390 days ago

This book is pretty much amazing. It's very easy to read and relevant to so many issues kids face today. It is sad that many adults will still face these problems. Parts of this book are very sad, as I knew they would be. To see them in black and white, starkly written, where they cannot be ignored, is difficult but it is good that we must all acknowledge them. We must bridge the boundaries that marginalize members of our society for simply being different. I like the gentle way you dealt with the issues you faced but, also, that you did not compromise in focusing on the problems and where people contributed to those problems. The language and style are excellent. The content excels. All in all, a wonderful book for any age reader. Good luck, Rebecca

Tarri wrote 390 days ago

Dear Fran,

You have read so far!! Yeah!! Your comments are always refreshing because your perspective is unique and yet somehow has the insight of a life similar to Denys, even though widely disparate. Yes, I do agree that as a disabled person Denys did not notice how his family disregarded him until he saw similar treatment visited on others.

This week Denys did a swan dive through the passway from the breakfast nook to the kitchen and landed on his knees. He has been calling himself all kinds of idiot for two days. It's so frustrating because he did nothing wrong but he really knocks himself about for mistakes, especially physical bumbles. From the outside looking in, it's hard to accept that his family was focused on his limitations instead of his abilities. And they still do it when they talk to him - talk down to him as though his physical limitations are somehow mental. He is happier not speaking to them though he has that heartache of a desire missed. He and his cousin Bernard are great friends and people really like Denys so that is a great joy for him.

Thank you for being so supportive. Poetry - hmm - uhmm - you do realize that 85% of our readership are very happy that it's at the end of the chapters so they can skip it and get to the next page, yeah? Love you, Fran, but your more optomistic about modern literary interests than I am. :D

We are delighted with your position on the list! Yeah, Franny! I have to read more and more and more. I'm so very proud of you and hope we get to meet some day. You are always welcome here. And since I'm a Robertson and a Turner of clan Lamont, may meet you there some day.

Thanks again, Fran. Take care,
Tarri

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 391 days ago

Dear Denys and Tarri

I have just finished reading most of chapter 16 and the preceding chapters.

From an editorial point of view, I do not have much to add to my earlier comments: the tone of your narrative is warm, gentle and careful. I thought perhaps that Denys' poems might come at the beginning, rather than at the end of the chapters. So that they can set the scene, and in a way inform the narrative that follows? Would that work?

It occurs to me that what disabled people put up with when they are with their birth families, sometimes only strikes them as unacceptable when they see the same treatment being visited on outsiders whom they love. Only then, do we see how far our compromise to fit, makes a mess of normal human relationships. It is easy then, to be painted as the paranoid one, the one who exaggerates or who is attention seeking, because of the familiar conspiracy of silence. In fact, the reaction appears to be unconscious, a way of coping that develops over time, which is not seen as uncharitable.

Perhaps your family invented the mythos of CP for you, because they felt an attendant guilt arising from your childhood illnesses. That impulse would be easily forgotten, of course, with the passage of time.

I am very sorry that your birth family now do not contact you, and I hope you find company and comfort with your true friends. Their reaction to your independent choices seems to me to be blinkered and extremely unreasonable, given your palpable love, affection and tolerance for a wide range of others. I would have thought, also, that your obvious brilliance would reconcile them to your chosen path.

You have my understanding, respect and friendship. Your warm and gently amusing account is eminently readable. Thank you for posting it. Please keep in touch.

Fran :-))

Tarri wrote 399 days ago

Dear Fran, what continues to amaze me as Denys moves through life is that educated people still treat him the same way, people whom I would assume know better. Though it has improved, part of the reason we wrote the story was to inspire people who are marginalized but, also, to challenge people who have the bully complex. Whether they're physicians who won't listen, educators with preconceived ideas, or people in service industries who are impatient, it's amazing how many times he faces this as he moves through the day. I know you are aware of it. The world is hardly safe. How much safer if we extended a hand instead of withdrawing it.

Oh yeah, thank you for your comments. I had given up on Into Light about 2.5 years ago - I called Chuck when I was convinced I couldn't do it. He was so supporitive and encouraging, reminding me there was no one else. Denys' dream was to leave this book as a testimony to his life. I was laying on my bed, tears leaking down my face, in absolute despair about what a dismal failure I was as a writer - I couldn't figure out how to make it happen. Then, poof, it was kind of there - the current story with the retrospective - Mayo, the past, the back and forth. I ran in and started typing and then got Denys and we started working on it together. He was so happy. He could remember the past but was having so much trouble with the present so it was much easier to write this way than the other.

And you're amazing, Fran. You have so much courage and heart. Thanks for your friendship. Be safe,
Tarri

Dear Denys and Tarri

I love the way you have weaved professional and personal reminiscences into this account, so that we can see different aspects of Denys together. It really works, as a way of validating the account of his experiences, for example, with academic prejudice. I was so shocked that a tutor was instructed to find a way to fail Denys in inorganic chemistry! Outrageous! Playing god.

All the best to you both.

Fran XX :-))

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 399 days ago

Dear Denys and Tarri

I love the way you have weaved professional and personal reminiscences into this account, so that we can see different aspects of Denys together. It really works, as a way of validating the account of his experiences, for example, with academic prejudice. I was so shocked that a tutor was instructed to find a way to fail Denys in inorganic chemistry! Outrageous! Playing god.

All the best to you both.

Fran XX :-))

Tarri wrote 400 days ago

Thank you so much for your comments, Katie. It does seems that not many would normally read non-fiction and yet people have been wonderfully supportive. And you have remembered such delicious little stories from Denys' life. So, I do thank you for writing because each note means a lot.

Denys and I have placed your book on our watchlist and will comment soon. I am not available to read as much at the moment as he is so you will see his comments first but we will both get there! I promise.

All the best. Take care,
Tarri
INTO LIGHT


So far I have read to the end of chapter three with intense interest. I am not a great reader of non-fiction but I really enjoyed everything I've read here. There are a couple of stories - the two boys left outside tethered to the house but throwing bricks, learning to hit the baseball and then walking away (and there are others) - that could be great short stories just in themselves.

I like your structure. The mix of the present challenge and mystery of Denys' deterioration or perhaps complete misdiagnosis and the prolonged back story works in nonfiction. I like the explanation of CP at the beginning and the quotes from friends and family (which surprised me - but I do like them!). The only piece which I felt was slightly out of joint so far was the laundry chute story. Not that I didn't like it, but that I am expecting a linear backstory.

Love the really sensitive way your relationship is described. Very light yet powerful.

That's it so far!
Kate

katemb wrote 400 days ago

So far I have read to the end of chapter three with intense interest. I am not a great reader of non-fiction but I really enjoyed everything I've read here. There are a couple of stories - the two boys left outside tethered to the house but throwing bricks, learning to hit the baseball and then walking away (and there are others) - that could be great short stories just in themselves.

I like your structure. The mix of the present challenge and mystery of Denys' deterioration or perhaps complete misdiagnosis and the prolonged back story works in nonfiction. I like the explanation of CP at the beginning and the quotes from friends and family (which surprised me - but I do like them!). The only piece which I felt was slightly out of joint so far was the laundry chute story. Not that I didn't like it, but that I am expecting a linear backstory.

Love the really sensitive way your relationship is described. Very light yet powerful.

That's it so far!
Kate

Tarri wrote 402 days ago

Thank you so much for your comments and support, Jo! Denys story is amazing and it has been my delight to be the storyteller! I asked Denys to read your book because he is such a history afficianado and he started it right away. I haven't started yet but he was on it first thing this morning! And once he starts historical documents, he doesn't stop until it's complete. He has an eidetic memory so if he notices anything out of place to the time period, he will be a great resource for you. I will try to get to it myself next week as promised.

I do thank you again for your encouragement. Due to his illness and the struggle we had obtaining a diagnosis and the correct medications, this book took nearly seven years to write. Always the struggle is what to leave in and what to omit but, for us, it was important that Denys have the opportunity to include the hands he held, the memories that sustained them. He did not do this in a vacuum. It was a tapestry and without the field, Denys doesn't feel his tapestry is complete. When we met, it was a burning thing in his soul to tell his story. He loves this story - he truly sees his life withint the completed framework of the others who helped and inspired him through the years. And yes, what he has accomplished has gotten me through those past seven years! :D

All the best,
Tarri

INTO LIGHT
What a wonderful story. It’s great to learn about a 4 and ½ pound deaf cerebral palsy baby growing up to achieve as much as Denys. I’m sure some people will tell you to move the story faster, but I enjoyed the details of all the family members and how Denys fits in with those people. The visit to the Mayo Clinic was a good way to begin this. Allowed you to supply back story in an interesting way. I think you’ll find a large audience for this among people who have a disability of some sort . Your biggest audience, tho, will be people like me who find the story inspirational: if someone with so many handicaps can achieve this way, why can’t I? Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Wanttobeawriter wrote 403 days ago

INTO LIGHT
What a wonderful story. It’s great to learn about a 4 and ½ pound deaf cerebral palsy baby growing up to achieve as much as Denys. I’m sure some people will tell you to move the story faster, but I enjoyed the details of all the family members and how Denys fits in with those people. The visit to the Mayo Clinic was a good way to begin this. Allowed you to supply back story in an interesting way. I think you’ll find a large audience for this among people who have a disability of some sort . Your biggest audience, tho, will be people like me who find the story inspirational: if someone with so many handicaps can achieve this way, why can’t I? Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Tarri wrote 403 days ago

Hi Andrew,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and to comment! Score and score. Denys is the 1:1 guy so he will look for and find the typos for me. I would so have loved to have met his Grandmaman; she sounds very much like my great-grandma Robertson, who was 4'11 and kept us all together until her 95th birthday. She was our soul, our conscience and my inspiriation, too.

Denys is always and ever the gentleman. I was raised in northern California and nothing pisses me off more than run-around. Dr. Sheldon, blonde hair, sticky-out from every direction, un-made bed appearance, is brilliant, direct and caring. We could communicate. The rest of Denys' early docs wasted space getting out of bed, IMO. They were that arachic. I would protect Denys with my life. He is worth it and I hope his story inspires people.

I am so hurt by the number of kids and adutls who give up each year simply because they are different - because the world is not big enough for them. We want to help change that.

Thank you for your support. It means a lot to us. You can have pie with Denys some day. He gets 2/3 and we share the rest! :)

BTW, Chuck and Jenny celebrated her birthday in Kenmare a few years ago and invited us to join them. It was our first trip. We flew into Shannon and spent a week driving around western / southern Ireland. Made it up to Dublin for a couple of days but I am all about country and the out of the way places so Kenmare and the Rings were more my style. I loved my trip ... it was so peaceful, so delightful.
Take care,
Tarri
INTO LIGHT


Hi Tarri and Denys,

I’ve read the prologue and first two chapters.

It’s a beautiful dedication, and a touching allegory from one so young. The description of the maple tree in the back yard is so vivid that the reader is assured Denys’s life will be shown to us in excellent detail.

Framing the first chapter with a trip to the Mayo clinic is a good idea. I found learning about Denys’s condition very interesting (such as the calorie burning of his muscular tension).

I thought the use of the word current to describe Dr Sheldon was slightly odd. I presume you mean up-you-date and modern in his outlook? Perhaps it’s a Canadian/American usage.

What a great way to describe Tarri’s character by her reactions to prevaricating doctors!

It’s also a lovely portrait of Grandmaman Leclerc. A feisty woman by the sound of it.
I like how the story of Denys’s family is interspersed with his tests in the hospital. A good way to maintain interest in both. But then the narrative is rather taken over by short biographies of his forebears. It is good to see the character traits that Denys inherited, but perhaps it would work better if you concentrated on Grandmaman Leclerc as the chief inspiration in his life.

I really like the line that he was born tiny but also stubborn. And the need to capture memories before that bit of light was lost is a beautiful and tragic idea. (I think you’ve a typo in that line – through for thought)

Here, the interspersing of Chuck’s voice I think works well. You have a bold documentary-like approach to the narrative, but it all adds to the story.

The possibility of being sent to an institution when still a baby is quite chilling. His life could have been very different. Such places had a terrible reputation in Ireland.

It’s a lovely description of three year old Denys trying to maintain visual contact with his mother’s face because of a deafness he must have assumed normal.

There are many insightful lines throughout, like how people respond to disability is purely within their own control.

Denys and Yves were quite the rogues and escapologists! It was also interesting to see how Denys’s deafness was diagnosed. It seems incredible he could have gone so long without anyone suspecting.

It’s a very touching end to chapter two.

Overall it’s an excellent start. Highly starred and I hope to read more soon.
Best of luck to you both,
Andrew.

Andrew Hughes wrote 403 days ago

Hi Tarri and Denys,

I’ve read the prologue and first two chapters.

It’s a beautiful dedication, and a touching allegory from one so young. The description of the maple tree in the back yard is so vivid that the reader is assured Denys’s life will be shown to us in excellent detail.

Framing the first chapter with a trip to the Mayo clinic is a good idea. I found learning about Denys’s condition very interesting (such as the calorie burning of his muscular tension).

I thought the use of the word current to describe Dr Sheldon was slightly odd. I presume you mean up-you-date and modern in his outlook? Perhaps it’s a Canadian/American usage.

What a great way to describe Tarri’s character by her reactions to prevaricating doctors!

It’s also a lovely portrait of Grandmaman Leclerc. A feisty woman by the sound of it.
I like how the story of Denys’s family is interspersed with his tests in the hospital. A good way to maintain interest in both. But then the narrative is rather taken over by short biographies of his forebears. It is good to see the character traits that Denys inherited, but perhaps it would work better if you concentrated on Grandmaman Leclerc as the chief inspiration in his life.

I really like the line that he was born tiny but also stubborn. And the need to capture memories before that bit of light was lost is a beautiful and tragic idea. (I think you’ve a typo in that line – through for thought)

Here, the interspersing of Chuck’s voice I think works well. You have a bold documentary-like approach to the narrative, but it all adds to the story.

The possibility of being sent to an institution when still a baby is quite chilling. His life could have been very different. Such places had a terrible reputation in Ireland.

It’s a lovely description of three year old Denys trying to maintain visual contact with his mother’s face because of a deafness he must have assumed normal.

There are many insightful lines throughout, like how people respond to disability is purely within their own control.

Denys and Yves were quite the rogues and escapologists! It was also interesting to see how Denys’s deafness was diagnosed. It seems incredible he could have gone so long without anyone suspecting.

It’s a very touching end to chapter two.

Overall it’s an excellent start. Highly starred and I hope to read more soon.
Best of luck to you both,
Andrew.

Tarri wrote 404 days ago

Hi Mark - done and done! As I told Fran, rev 79, xxx.86c is uploaded. I have integrated the reflections into the narrative of the chapters. It was a lot of work but I think the flow works and the initial tests of family and close friends have been positive. So try a chapter, Mark, and see what you think! I did add a short overview of CP to give the reader an idea of what Denys' symptoms were, as suggeste. There are so many variations that it is difficult to cover it briefly without minimizing the disease but at least there is a baseline. So thank you for your perspective. I appreciate your insight.

I hope we are on your watchlist! I am not pulling your book off our bookshelf - unless you come up with another one and tell me too. It is simply too marvelously funny! But watchlists are easy peasy, yes?

My daughter Rebecca (Pompeiia) and been in whoops over Hell's Super. Periodically I get a note via email about a line here, a witty remark, a concept that causes her to LOL and she pops it off to me. She has been so positive about your book. She's a tech writer and swamped with multiple deadlines but She loves your book and will just chuckle sometimes when we're talking about some absurdity that tips her over. Thanks for that!

All the best going forward. Take care,
Tarri
Into Light


Denys and Tarri,

I have read almost half of the manuscript, all I have time for at present. I wish that were not so, because I have been engaged from the very beginning. So your book definitely hooks the reader.

The writing is good. This biography rings with truth in a way that fiction never quite manages. I'm a Yank, so I enjoyed reading a bit about someone growing up in Canada. Funny. I know so much and so little about Canada, and the French portion of the country I know even less about.

A couple of suggestions. We have all heard about Cerebral Palsy, but I think a quick description of the disease, near the front, would be appropriate. I had to go to Wikipedia to really help me understand. My memory of the CP left me with an image of people more profoundly affected, in terms of coordination, speech, etc. than Denys sounds to be, which probably means I'm confusing it with something else. If I can do that, so can other readers. Don't assume your reader knows.

Second comment: the vignettes at the ends of many chapters--I'm not quite certain why you didn't just weave these more into the narrative, rather than have them sitting off separate as they are.

Regardless, although I am not a reader of biographies or memoirs generally, I find this a very compelling narrative. Five stars on an excellent job! Best. Mark

Tarri wrote 404 days ago

Dear Fran, thank you for your encouragement. I have used most of my recuperative time to incorporate the thoughts of Denys' friends into the story, removing them as independent refelections. It was a time-intensive effort but I hope it has made his story more full-bodied. The people that contributed to Denys' life are pretty amazing - I have met many of them and they would capture your heart, as they have mine.

The chemistry! I thought I would lose my mind. Day after day, session after session, we tried again and again to develop analogies that made it possible for me to understand Denys' work. Yes, he has a Ph.D. but I have an MA and I figured there had to be a way to make me understand - and if I could understand, then I could tell the story. Eventually, with the intervention of our children, we did figure out analogies that worked and what I could understand, even mariginally, I could write.

That stubborn determination is one thing Denys and I have in common. People that meet us say we have something special, a link - a unique bond. I suspect it's that sheer bullheadedness. ;D

Thanks again, Fran. You've been marvelous. We love you, sister.
Tarri
Into Light.

Dear Denys and Tarri

I have been concentrating on the subject matter of this book, but your writing is wonderful too. Warm, informed, witty and wise, I would just like to sit here and read everything you have uploaded. How refreshing to find a book that does not patronise the reader by assuming you should use words of one syllable!

Your reflections are of interest to me in many ways, not just because I find your discussions around chemistry interesting - and I am no chemist! - but because your attitude to being refused is so like mine. If someone says, "You can't do that" or "I don't think you can" I will always answer, "Watch me do it!" but if my personal doubts dominate, the story is very different. How well you articulate that split in self confidence.

Thank you, thank you for writing. This book is a marvelous blend of humour, information and discernment. On my shelf again soon, probably at the start of next month.

Best regards

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 419 days ago

Dear Denys and Tarri

I have been concentrating on the subject matter of this book, but your writing is wonderful too. Warm, informed, witty and wise, I would just like to sit here and read everything you have uploaded. How refreshing to find a book that does not patronise the reader by assuming you should use words of one syllable!

Your reflections are of interest to me in many ways, not just because I find your discussions around chemistry interesting - and I am no chemist! - but because your attitude to being refused is so like mine. If someone says, "You can't do that" or "I don't think you can" I will always answer, "Watch me do it!" but if my personal doubts dominate, the story is very different. How well you articulate that split in self confidence.

Thank you, thank you for writing. This book is a marvelous blend of humour, information and discernment. On my shelf again soon, probably at the start of next month.

Best regards

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Mark Cain wrote 443 days ago

Denys and Tarri,

I have read almost half of the manuscript, all I have time for at present. I wish that were not so, because I have been engaged from the very beginning. So your book definitely hooks the reader.

The writing is good. This biography rings with truth in a way that fiction never quite manages. I'm a Yank, so I enjoyed reading a bit about someone growing up in Canada. Funny. I know so much and so little about Canada, and the French portion of the country I know even less about.

A couple of suggestions. We have all heard about Cerebral Palsy, but I think a quick description of the disease, near the front, would be appropriate. I had to go to Wikipedia to really help me understand. My memory of the CP left me with an image of people more profoundly affected, in terms of coordination, speech, etc. than Denys sounds to be, which probably means I'm confusing it with something else. If I can do that, so can other readers. Don't assume your reader knows.

Second comment: the vignettes at the ends of many chapters--I'm not quite certain why you didn't just weave these more into the narrative, rather than have them sitting off separate as they are.

Regardless, although I am not a reader of biographies or memoirs generally, I find this a very compelling narrative. Five stars on an excellent job! Best. Mark

Tarri wrote 445 days ago

Chapter 4. "What a weird place to feel normal" Excellent.



Denys and I were there so early that day and he was so excited but so very very happy. People seemed to catch his enthusiasm and joy. Normal is not a state that's easy for either of us - perhaps for most of us. But that day was perfect and so were we. Thanks for catching that and mentioning it! Take care, Tarri

iandsmith wrote 449 days ago

Chapter 4. "What a weird place to feel normal" Excellent.

Diwrite wrote 449 days ago

What a lovely premise for a novel. And the content does not disappoint.
The writing is easy and comfortable, and I felt engaged from the very beginning.

I can see your book providing support and inspiration for people who really need it.

On my shelf with my very best wishes.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 455 days ago

Dear Denys and Tarri

I have today read up to the end of chapter four - seven uploaded - of "Into Light", a book which, in so many ways, echoes my own experiences. It is wonderful to read your story, and comforting in ways that I find hard to put into words. I am sure you understand. Knowing how much you have achieved gives me fresh hope and energy. I smile.

There is not much to say about your writing here. Your style is clean and easy to read. You manage well, the shift between past and present, though there is some room to tighten the manuscript for clarity and to take out elements of repetition. We all have that to do. Also, I felt that your reminiscences could be condensed slightly.

Denys' voice is very clear, clever and funny. That is what most matters.

Lots of love

Fran xxx :-))

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 455 days ago

Dear Denys and Tarri

I started reading what you have uploaded here, and of course i shall read it all. In time. Your writing needs to be taken slowly, and there is much here for me to appreciate.

I don't think, for the moment, that you much need the introduction which is uploaded chapter two. Denys says all he needs to say in what follows. On Authonomy, I would just start with his beginning.

I started reading about Denys' love of trees, the maple, and understood something else. Here is someone who loves them as much as I do and for the same reasons! For years, I loved trees, then I decided I did not, because their roots represented being stuck. Then I had a dream, and saw a great vibrant tree with branches and leaves that moved all the time, and seeds that fell to earth and grew, or were carried away on waters to the far distance. To see that echoed here gives me the shivers.

Reading on. xxx Fran :-))

Tarri wrote 458 days ago

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see - your Mark Twain quote is very apt in describing your story. starred and shelved. an evocative content which will touch our hearts



Thank you, Sheila. If by telling Denys' story, we can help stop this madness of children killing themselves because of bullying, if one young person attempts to achieve what he's been told he cannot, and if we can save one adult's self-respect in the face of torment, Denys and I will have accomplished so much. Thank you for your encouragement.

sheila cooper wrote 458 days ago

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see - your Mark Twain quote is very apt in describing your story. starred and shelved. an evocative content which will touch our hearts

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