Book Jacket

 

rank 1037
word count 18736
date submitted 21.02.2012
date updated 12.06.2012
genres: Fiction, Popular Culture, Comedy, C...
classification: adult
incomplete

Fleeing The Jurisdiction

Gerald Hansen

It's danger on the high seas for the Barnetts, but will it come from the authorities, Mother Nature or family Flood?

 

In Wisconsin six years ago, Ursula Barnett was duped into defrauding her local church of thousands. The statue of limitations is inching nearer, and the police are circling in. Panicked, Ursula books herself and her American family passage on a budget centennial Titanic cruise, hoping to ride out the investigation and embark a woman redeemed.



But lurking amongst the leaky walls of the Queen of Crabs is a danger worse than bad food, hip-hop nightclubs and terrifying onshore excursions: her Irish family, still resentful of the Barnett's lottery win years earlier. Sister-in-law Fionnuala Flood, knowing Ursula is a sitting duck for the next twelve days, rallies the family to retaliate, stopping at nothing to drag lady of leisure Ursula back down into the gutter that is their own life. The Queen of Crabs, though, is not Derry, Northern Ireland, but an alien battlefield, where the Barnetts and Floods find more enemies lurking outside the family than within.



Fleeing The Jurisdiction is equal parts Titanic, Love Boat and Voyage of the Damned, a darkly comic story of family relationships, the politics of envy, the injustices of social inequality and, perhaps, some personal redemption. And a sighting of Rod Stewart playing shuffleboard?

 
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tags

, comedy, con artists, cruise, derry, envy, family, funny, ireland, irish, lottery, mi-6, morocco, northern ireland, puerto rico, scams, titanic

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9 comments

 

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GILLIAN.M.H wrote 317 days ago

Comlit review of Fleeing the Jurisdiction

The characters are realistic and believable, as is the action. I could see this as tv script, and certain actors in the various roles;

CHAPTER 2 DERRY - NORTHERN IRELAND - GEMS 'a pub full of protestant bastards would have been more welcome.'
she would rather be threatened by a hopped up hooligan than.... that! [the unseemly mannish woman.]
Top yer Trolley superstore.
Jars of toothpaste [Is it really sold in jars in Northern Ireland?]

A good account of the troubles, told with the humour of the Irish, [I can say this, being part Irish myself.]

7th course on the dinner menu the night the Titanic sank. 1st , 2nd or 3rd class [I can't imagine there being 7 courses in steerage !]

The 100 year Titatanic Cruise, .... Anyone would be dead before the end of a 100 year cruise.

Chapter 3 - Southampton Port , UK GEMS - Ursula trying to change into the evening gown in a toilet, and getting trapped in the gown.
The police arriving, and telling her to open the door.

The Titanic Activities -- This should not be funny, but it is!

The description of the people on the cruise in their various costumes,

CHAPTER 4 -- I know thinking's not one of your strengths so I'll do yer thinking for ye.'
The disclaimers in the inf pack about the cruise, where 'winners' work their passage.
------------------------
A fun book. Very enjoyable.

Jehmka wrote 427 days ago

The pitch hooked me. I've only just finished the first chapter. I'm enjoying the writing as much as the story itself. The characters and dialogue are all believable. This is clever, funny, and easy to read. I think it deserves more attention.

Bubbity wrote 453 days ago

Yay!! Another fabulous book in Gerald Hansen's riotous darkly comic trilogy. I cracked up laughing over the 'cross-purposes' in the first chapter!! And old friends (or foes) the Floods are back once again in Chapter 2, with their shenanigans and gritty Derry talk!!
As with the others I will be buying my copy of this excellent book when it comes out!!
A must read!

Abby Vandiver wrote 213 days ago

Interesting story. Ursula and Louella on the run. I think that it has a good pace. Some errors and it needs some editing. Ellipsis are not used in the beginning of a sentence and should be used to represent an incomplete thought or sentence. It is space dot space dot space dot so it would be . . .

You wrote that "seemed to be the response." Either it was or it wasn't the response, how could it "seem" to be? Seconds were "trickling" down would be better as "ticking," but you also use trickling the same or next paragraph. it was kind of contradictive for her to worry about being polite when she was on the run for a crime. And I don't understand why she had to count out the change. If she had given a dollar, they would have given her the change back and she would have had the same amount of money.

It was nice the way you wrote the kitchen scene.

Good job.

Abby

GILLIAN.M.H wrote 317 days ago

Comlit review of Fleeing the Jurisdiction

The characters are realistic and believable, as is the action. I could see this as tv script, and certain actors in the various roles;

CHAPTER 2 DERRY - NORTHERN IRELAND - GEMS 'a pub full of protestant bastards would have been more welcome.'
she would rather be threatened by a hopped up hooligan than.... that! [the unseemly mannish woman.]
Top yer Trolley superstore.
Jars of toothpaste [Is it really sold in jars in Northern Ireland?]

A good account of the troubles, told with the humour of the Irish, [I can say this, being part Irish myself.]

7th course on the dinner menu the night the Titanic sank. 1st , 2nd or 3rd class [I can't imagine there being 7 courses in steerage !]

The 100 year Titatanic Cruise, .... Anyone would be dead before the end of a 100 year cruise.

Chapter 3 - Southampton Port , UK GEMS - Ursula trying to change into the evening gown in a toilet, and getting trapped in the gown.
The police arriving, and telling her to open the door.

The Titanic Activities -- This should not be funny, but it is!

The description of the people on the cruise in their various costumes,

CHAPTER 4 -- I know thinking's not one of your strengths so I'll do yer thinking for ye.'
The disclaimers in the inf pack about the cruise, where 'winners' work their passage.
------------------------
A fun book. Very enjoyable.

fictionguy wrote 336 days ago

God knows we need more comedy in ouir lives and this is a good comedy. These are really quirky characters and I love thew polot. I will come back and read more when everything calms down around here. But for now four stars and keep going.

Tod Schneider wrote 338 days ago

This is hysterical! What great writing! I love the voices, the concept, the style -- it's all just dandy.
I can't see anything that needs fixing. Best of luck with this! Six stars!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

revteapot wrote 349 days ago

Gerald,
You start this novel delightfully and I was prepared to sit back and enjoy, but I'm afraid I found that the preparations to leave took too long for my taste. You'd have done better, I'd have thought, to have had the others waiting in the car and moved the story on a bit quicker (I'm an impatient soul, me).
I suspect the principal function of the return home was to introduce the theme of the unfaithful spouses, and if so the theme can be introduced another way, I'm sure - some paranoia it he car or at the airport, perhaps.

As for the detail :
"pleather" - ? Leather?
Not sure who the beasts are. Guessing you mean the others in the queue, but not sure enough. Distracting.
"...at this angle grunt! there's only so much I can pant! do..." you need to take the stage directions out of direct speech. 
Not sure how Irish 'ach' and 'ay' are. Seem more Scottish to me. Not convinced by the 'be's either. Accents are terribly difficult to convey convincingly though.

All in all this is a fun read. The characters are wonderful and the flap and panic of a flight from justice among such ordinary people tickles the imagination! (I'm curious what made you think of it...)

Lindsay
A Priest's Tale

Maevesleibhin wrote 373 days ago

Fleeing the Jurisdiction
I read the whole posting, four Autho chapters.
I found this an extremely funny read, witty and full of ethnic- centric humour. And it is a very Irish book, developing the story of the church-defrauding diaspora and that of the impoverished natives. The book makes mockery of both sides and everything in between, and so managed to keep me amused throughout, making it a very successful satirical comedy.
Hook and Plot- I found that this hooked very well, with the ugly american fast food shopping spree in preparation for the desperate trip to flee the jurisdiction. I found that it made very good mockery of American culture, and hooked well. On the other hand, the radio show contestant hook also worked for me, framed as it was with the almost desperate existence of the winners.
This having been said, I found some aspects a bit chunky. For example, I found chapter three, although funny, a little awkward, particularly the scene where it is revealed that the opera cruise was cancelled and replaced by the Titanic cruise. Nevertheless, I think the plot for the section works well, explaining in a quite entertaining manner how everyone gets on the ship (all through being somewhat defrauded) and setting up the culture clash.
Character Development- These characters are all, very purposefully it seems, caricatures, with exaggerated accents, folds of fat, unchecked kleptomania, cowboy hats, and a general propensity to daftness. These characters are well developed for what they are, which is impossible comic exaggerations, created more for the sake of their humourous aspects than for anything else. But, again, as the cast of a satire, they work successfully.
Description and ambiance- I found that this was very successful in the various settings. The Wisconsin section made me feel sick to my stomach, the Derry section made me furious at the lingering prejudicial injustice. The Southampton section reminded me of port cities and cheap tourism. This is very successful descriptive writing, geared as it is to comic satire.
Humour- This book made me laugh several times from the start, although I did find some of the jokes trite. Most of all, I was turned off by the ole heaving-noises-that-sound-like-sex-but-are-actually-something-innocent joke. But this was the exemption, and I found many aspects great fun, like the sudden realization from the Derry crown that they were going to have to work, the encounter with the police in S.H., and pretty much anything that came out of Fionnuala's mouth. I found the conversation between Aquanetta and Fionnuala particularly funny.
All in all, I think this book very successfully keeps the ethnic humour alive. It is a fun read, and I rate it well.

whoster wrote 376 days ago

I've read the first chapter Gerald, and this really is very skilled writing indeed. You've certainly got a gift for the choice adjective, and your descriptive qualities are enviable. I thought the 'surly ping(-)pong players on speed' line was inspired. Also loved the little Tammy Wynette side-dish. Your writing moves incredibly quickly and with such rich detail - all handled with a very friendly and affectionate narrative; and I believe that's essential for any comedy writer. You've got lashings of humility too, and that's usually indicative of a quality writer.

No disgrace to be edged-out of MAYHEM by this Gerald, and I think Mr Stumpo has got an almighty battle on his hands to get the green light over this.

(whispers 'bloody annoying gatecrashing Irish navvy' under his breath en route to pressing the 'submit' button)

Pete


Jehmka wrote 427 days ago

The pitch hooked me. I've only just finished the first chapter. I'm enjoying the writing as much as the story itself. The characters and dialogue are all believable. This is clever, funny, and easy to read. I think it deserves more attention.

Bubbity wrote 453 days ago

Yay!! Another fabulous book in Gerald Hansen's riotous darkly comic trilogy. I cracked up laughing over the 'cross-purposes' in the first chapter!! And old friends (or foes) the Floods are back once again in Chapter 2, with their shenanigans and gritty Derry talk!!
As with the others I will be buying my copy of this excellent book when it comes out!!
A must read!

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