Warm-Up Kills

"Warm-Up Kills" is one of the best thrillers I have read on this site. I was hooked from page one and couldn't let go. The book is well written, fast-paced and humorous with an unforeseeable end. Bill and Freddie are believable and easy to warm to. Max is the perfect, ice-cold, psychopathic killer who feels no remorse - until the death of someone he loved makes him feel something other than pride in his work.

The pitch promised: "At the very least you will enjoy the ride as Bill and Freddie unravel the mystery." Bang on.

I'm wishing you the very best of luck to get this onto a shelf in a book store, Jack, because that's where it belongs. You're backed and high-starred.

All the best,
Nicola
"The Burden of the Badge"

Hi, JP!

It took me a while, because I read the whole thing. I was hooked from page one! Excellent writing, I can totally imagine this on a shelf in a books store. It felt like I was reading a book just like a real one I would buy. I wish you so much good luck with this book! It has the potential to be a great success if you can get that "break" you deserve. =D

Wow. what a story. You get straight into it and the first person narrative works really well. I like the coldness of this guy's profession and the way he's living right out there on the edge. The writing is well-honed and hard as a diamond. I like his preoccupation with his expertise and knowledge, his single-mindedness, like a professional killer would be.

Great stuff and I'm backing it and reading on - a Magnum on my bedside just in case, you understand.

Jack,

You`ve committed a crime analogous to sacrilege. Your sin being: keeping me awake all night; till the wee hours of night reading ‘Warm-Up Kills’. How do you expect someone to start reading this novel, and stop in mid-flight? If your book ain`t C-4, then nothing is.

The depth of the story; the pace; the quality and setting, just superb. You`ve completely blown my mind. When I first came onto this forum; I had no idea I would encounter such priceless gems like yours. You`re one hell of a writer JP Hudson!

Any publisher rejecting this book would have to be off their tripods; …

High Starts. Besides being one of the best I've read on the sight, it is a true thriller. It's sociopath mc kept me going. More comments later, JP, Good job! Catherine Wooldridge/Disappearing in Elmendorf, Texas

forgot to add in my last review that in my mind--max isn't dead. when he said that he would make sure that the group would get the flash drive if anything ever happened to him and in the end they got it....i agree with either freddie or bill (don't remember which one said it) that just 'cause the flash drive got to them, it doesn't mean that he's dead--he probably just wants everyone to think he his. in my mind, he decided to get out of the contract killing business, so he faked his own death and is lying on a beach in the bahamas pounding down mai-tai's and getting aquainted with a different woman each night! HA! whatta think?

Jack--finally finished!! though i found myself a little confused in some parts--overall.....the book is terrific!!! Very well done. Wasn't really sure if i would enjoy it when i found it had a lot of political "stuff" in it--but knew the contract killing would keep me in it. there is a movie that sylvester stallone did called "Assasins" were he plays a contract killer who then finds himself the "target" of a new, younger contract killer who wants to be the new "lengend"--very good movie--i liked it very much--i think that's why i liked this book so much.

even though max is a killer without remorse--he does have human side with feelings--that's why i loved it when he hooked up with mariann...but hated that she had to die--but that DID give him the drive he needed to dig deeper into who hired who and why ( i know a little something about getting "revenge" in books! HA!

like i mentioned before--got a little confused when all the new characters started poping up--got kind of hard to keep track of everybody--but see in the end who they finally were.

did a good job of the unexpected when chubby kidnapped mary and april--thought for sure they were dead and found myself yelling out loud--"No, he can't kill them off! what will that do to freddie and bill? they all were so sweet!" and then found out that chubby just "tranquilized" them.....big sigh of relief!!! loved the panic room scenes--the plotting and planning of how they were going to get out alive and playing the waiting game trying to outwait lottie and chubby. that whole sequence reminded me of another movie--"The Panic Room" with Jodie Foster...another good flick!

had a feeling that teacup might try and do something "stupid" when he was messing with the locks on the panic room door. but i could totally see him thinking that he had already lived his life and the others had family and loved ones and were just starting their lives. also, good twist bringing in his "wife" and daughter at the end--i don't think they were ever mentioned before. also had a feeling that playing the hero--teacup might "die"--so glad you had him just pass out!!

this book took me though several different emotions and levels of thinking--sometimes a little confused--but that's what truly great books are supposed to do!! Awesome job!! any books similar in the future? would love to read more!!
Erin

Easy to read. Unusual narrator in the first three chapters. Nice pace to the story and mix of action and dialogue.
This is not particularly aimed at your story but I have always had a problem with the idea of contract killers. Specifically with the idea that they could survive when reliant on petty criminals not ratting on them to get out of a tight spot with the police.
Also would negotiations for a murder be conducted by email - the most insecure method of communication?
In chapter 2 the character extols the merits of thorough preparation after what read as a perfunctory check of the location. I think this needs to be expanded to be more convincing.
In chapter 3, and again I readily admit to being no expert but I had a problem accepting that he could drive to within handgun range without anyone hearing his car.
In chapter 4 the sentence beginning a special bond is missing a clause. Also the financial standing of Bill Hamilton is confusing. You describe his difficulties in the insurance business yet then have the detective saying he doesn't need money.

Regards
Vic Webb
"Sold Short"

So sorry to have taken so long - I've gotten behind as more people took me up on my read swap requests than I had estimated. To be fair, I wanted to wait until I had time to really do a decent crit, especially since you are a lot closer to the desk than I am :) So here are my thoughts which I record as I go (so sometimes an observation is dealt with later but I'll leave it exactly as is so you can know what goes on in my head - scary, I know :)

First reaction: Gee, I hope I'm not supposed to like this guy at some point; well, I am assuming it's a guy. Actually can't tell from the first paragraph.

Chapter 1 - Paragraph 5: I think the last sentence is redundant / unnecessary but if you're really attached to it your average reader probably wouldn't care. ("She wouldn't need it.")

Chapter 1 - Paragraph 6: "work suitable for my talents" Reader's thought: The lazy oaf doesn't have any talents.

Chapter 1 - Paragraph 8: "I sometimes linger in admiration when washing my face" If your intent is to make every reader hate this guy, mission accomplished. I really liked that sentence because not only was it just hilarious to imagine someone that self absorbed but it did really bring out his personality more than a simple flattering physical description would have. Love that!

Chapter 1: His name is Max? Wow, I was somehow expecting something more unique, foreboding. Kind of creepy that he's such an every day guy type. Well done.

Chapter 1: I am wondering how long he was in prison. This is picking up when he's just released but I don't think it mentioned how long he served or if he's out on parole (I assume.) Incidentally, your figure of $50 is exactly accurate - my husband used to work for the State of MN Department of Corrections and that is exactly what the inmates got for gate money.

Oh, wait - I just got it; the stupid woman didn't testify so he wasn't even convicted! Aughhh! Why? If she dies I don't think I'll feel sorry for her.

Chapters 2 & 3: Intriguing. I was actually thinking that somehow he wasn't going to take the job in the end - then I remembered your pitch. So now I am wondering who hired this guy. (And really hoping it doesn't get overly political... We'll see.)

Chapter 4: Herman - how very politically incorrect! I was wondering if someone would shut him up. Can you imagine? Incidentally, I am suspicious of Bill but without much of a reason. How does he always end up at crime scenes? Maybe whoever is inviting him is the killer - or he is??

Kind of like Teacup - I also like the name you picked for him. I am thinking maybe someone should hang around him in case he remembers later but I don't know how much later that would have to be; a week, a month, a year?

Chapter 5 - Paragraph 2: "Of course I wore gloves during all of this." Jut a suggestion: I would work the gloves in a little less obviously somewhere earlier in the paragraph - they just seem to stick out too much (unless they're supposed to for some reason). Something like "I slipped my gloved hand inside and took out...." I don't know, or something else, some other way. But feel free to take this as the ramblings of a bumbling idiot because I do not (and have never attempted to) write mysteries.

Chapter 5: I think it was kind of stupid of him to kill the guy. Maybe he could have disarmed him by shooting him somewhere else (not fatally) just in case but couldn't his shooting the guy put him on somebody's hit list? For all he knows the guy could have a brother or other relative / close friend in the organization. Strikes me as more than a little stupid, although I get why he did it.

Chapter 6: Doesn't give much reason as to why he thinks it's personal (setting up Teacup) - but maybe he'll get around to that more in the future.

Sorry - I have to go now but will come back for more when I have time. I'll put it on my watch list so I remember (I am curious to find out who did it...)

Max stars to you and happy writing!

Jennie

Second chapter wanders off into the past just when we're getting involved in the current killing.

Jack,
I've gotten through the first three chapters and I see why Richard directed you to me; the similarities are - for lack of a better word - freaky. I like Max, and just got to April and Bill in Chapter four. When it comes to April and Bill, it feels like I am expected to know them from a previous work, which I found problematic. To me, it really felt like you tried to give me their entire back-story (including Bill's apparent usefulness in solving cases) in three sentences. I'm going to read a bit more later in the hope that they get fleshed out, but overall, it is pretty good.
C.A.

This promises to be good. I haven't much time to read atm but I will read more in the coming weeks. Being told from the killer's POV is very different.

a little confused in chap 11--several new characters introduced (lottie, willie, and charles) couldn't really place who they were and what their importance to the story was--maybe that will be revealed later, but reading this chap i found myself asking "who are these people and what's their signifigance to anyone else in the story right now?" i had really gotten into it with Max killing the senator and setting up teacup for the fall and max and mariann the librarian becoming contract killing partners and lovers. then, suddenly, we don't hear anything about max in chap 10 or 11 and we're suddenly thrown all these new people...just a little too much all over the map for me...but my curiousity as to what will happen to max is driving me to read on.
Erin

like other comments here--i was intrigued by the first line--"I am a killer" before i got to the next sentence, i was already wondering, "is this a confession?" "Is it a statement by an insane serial killer?" made me want to read on--and then when i found out he was a contracted killer....made me want to read further on. at first was confused of the background of some of the party guests--why would we need to know who they are? but as you go a little further, you find out that one guest--bill is asked to help in the investigation---which he apparently has done before. was also a little confused about that...would the police ask a citizen to help investigate a killing just because they were a guest at the location where it happened? the police would ask questions and want to know all they know, sure--but would they really ask for assistance? especially when it's mentioned that the FBI would now be involved because the victim was a US Senator? kind of sounds like the set up in the tv show "Castle" where a mystery writer helps the police and goes out on calls to help solve crimes.
did find it interesting when Frank is asking about the homeless guy that was found by the fence with the gun. "he hurt his head by falling backward onto his backback and his head hit the pavement yet the teacup didn't break? that doesn't add up" Brilliant! and the part about that there was no car left, but there was tire tracks that turned around and going around the chain? you would've thought that a now experienced contracted killer would've thought out all the little details like that. or having to wipe off his fingerprints on the gun before putting it down by the homeless guy--wouldn't he have worn gloves? and where would a homeless guy pick up special and fancy gun like that?
i'm not saying that as the writer YOU didn't think this through--i think you put those flaws in intentionally, I think that the killer, Max didn't think things through. though i'm only in chap 4--maybe more will be brought into light in future chapters. a lot of detail, though so far and i'm already curious as to what's going to happen to Max...will he get caught? will his new clients kill him if they find out it wasn't a "clean" hit and the feds are asking too many questions because the facts don't add up? cant't wait to read more! Nice job!!
Erin

You had me at "I am a killer."

After 13 chapters I have, I think, all of the pertinent pieces of the puzzle; it is a twisted puzzle. We know that there is a professional assassin, Max. We know that there are less professional hit-men. We know there are assassinated senators and more. We know that there are industrial millionaires and lobbyists with specific agendas. We know that there are professional investigators in a local police force and the FBI. We know that there are free-lance, amateur detectives.

It's the every-man nature of these average-Joe detectives with their families, regular day jobs and down to earth practicality that put the pieces together. It's not the muscle and high-tech gadgetry of super FBI sleuths that bring us in and whittle away the confusion revealing the truths and consequences. It's the level-headed, piece-working men who sit around the coffee table burning grey matter to solve the crime. Yes, they pound pavement and do the footwork necessary to unearth those pieces and then look inside the box, outside the box, and at each part of the box to figure it out.

Upon first appearance, Max, a hired gunman, seems to be the main character. He has his own story and his own part in the big picture, but Bill and Freddie are the brains of this brain-teaser. They are the fact finders that put this puzzle together.

The characters and story are interesting and entertaining. Much of the writing is terse first person and unapologetic. The balance is a descriptive story telling narrative that helps the plot to unfold as more wrinkles are revealed for our main characters to iron out. Much of the story is hinted at in the beginning; you must read on to get a real gist of the tangled web and the extent of the intrigue.

Reading on . . .
Nadina M. Ashwood
Pretty Penny

I had to read this from beginning to end in one sitting ... great job JP. Loved it

J Michelson
DEADLY DAYNE

Chapter One

I like the way the first sentence reaches out and grabs you.

It’s a pleasure to read the work of a writer who knows how to apply the technical aspects of writing as well as the creative parts. Makes reading your writing a very easy experience.

I remained totally lacking in ambition…Use a semi-colon here to separate two independent clauses.

Even then, (I would have to…)

She had money (,) and I…

Love the twist you put in there when after killing the husband, he killed the wife who solicited his services to kill her husband.

I drove my ancient Ford directly to a filling station. This sentence should come after the details of his release from jail. Keep sequence of events in mind.

“Who are you? How did you find me?” I asked. Should be… “Who are you,” I asked. “How did you find me?” Give attribution between two sentences spoken by the same character.

Use three asterisks (***) centered in the middle of the page to indicate a change of scenes.

Nice touch of suspense when the main character is approached for a job after his release from jail and the other man knows more about him then he does about his potential employer.

Very good first chapter in the way it draws the reader in with the desire to want to know more.

Chapter Two

…protection for the Senator. Do not capitalize “Senator” here.

Good chapter. The background information allows the reader insight as to how the main character thinks and acts.

Chapter Three

Why not? I thought. This entire paragraph threw me off, made me go back to see if there was something I missed that justified the paragraph being there, but I found no such justification.
There has been no relationship displayed between the old beggar and the main character to allow a smooth transition into this paragraph. It was like slamming into a brick wall. Not only did you stop my forward progress in reading the novel, you made me go backward. This is not the effect you want.

The scene with Teacup in the backseat is highly unlikely for several reasons. The MC (main character) would be taking the unwanted risk of being discovered from the time he hit Teacup over the head and then returned with his car. He’s taking careful measures not to draw attention to himself and this Teacup sequence would seem to defeat that purpose.

Even if he succeeds with getting Teacup to the scene and depositing his body where it would be discovered, upon medical examination, it would be discovered that the injury Teacup got when the MC incapacitated him, is not the type of wound one would receive if they strike their head against an object.

Even forgetting the two previous points, is Teacup even qualified to perform the type of crime the MC is preparing him to take the fall for?

Still, I thought this was a good read.

I got to admit that I don't like Max and as a main character and have no use for him. But that means you've done your job as a writer very well. Sometimes I think it's easier to writer about someone nice and cuddly than a sadistic murderer. Still wouldn't buy this book because of who this guy is. Overall brilliant writing, throws me right into the story with no preamble. Written as if put to paper by a true cold hearted killer. For that reason alone I've highly starred the book.
Frank

Hi Jack i dont know what happened why i never look at your work. Its such an interesting thriller and enjoyed the read from the start. Wish you the best of luck. You're on my WL and and backing the book as well.

Regards

Tim Templer

The Journey

Hi Jack,

I loved the development of Max. After 4 chapters, the only suggestion I have is a little more character development in your supporting characters. Maybe a little more description in the scenes like the gas station scene, what happened with teacup, the cars etc. Otherwise a great read. The story line is fast with plenty of dialogue. You definitely have a hit here!


Kathy
The Final Beginning

Hi: I am happy to back this book because it is well written, pacey and has interesting ideas and characters.
As I have said before, however, I am uneasy at the mixture of first and second persons. Opening chapters gave me what sympathy it is possible to have for a professional killer and I was prepared to go along with his story, particularly as the details of his work had a realism about them. I was disappointed when the librarian died as I thought we were going to have a kind of Bonny and Clyde situation. I could envisage it developing as did a recent film I watched with George Clooney, in which he plays a bank robber falling in love with a law-enforcement officer.
Then the style changed and I found I was in a fairly routine thriller. The central character changed, ending even with Teacup. I lost some interest, but fast-read to the end.
For me there are a number of ways round what are to me problems with the book:
1. You could make the whole thing first person, maintaining the interest with him perhaps working with his love until the end when they might both die.
2. He links up with the forces of law and order to defeat a greater enemy, again perhaps with his love dying later in the story, thus giving him a stronger revenge motive.
3. The first person stuff is "formalised", included in a prologue, segregated passages throughout and an epilogue at the end, perhaps identified at some stage as a "confession", which I gather he does already provide.
I don't know if this is any help. It is, after all, only one voice among many.
I do, anyway, wish you luck with it.
I am, incidentally, taking my Shakespeare book off and replacing it with what I call my "anti-Harry Potter" short stories.
Leslie Rocker

Warm-Up Kills. Ch 1 to 4.

I like a good crime thriller, Lee Child, etc. and this one has got me reading. Fast, even pace, good characters (in the believable sense) and a good story unfolding. No errors that I could see, but one thing that struck me as I read. When Max shoots the Senator and puts the gun in Teacup's hand, he wipes his fingerprints off first. Would a calculating hitman not have cleaned the gun first and worn latex or similar gloves when doing the shooting to avoid any fingerprints. It sounded clumsy that he had to clean the gun on site and then - how did he avoid fingerprints as he put the gun into Teacup's hand? Did he clean it again? The cleaning of the gun would have eaten up precious seconds. Only a small point but something which made me hesitate as I read.
An excellent opening 4 chapters. High stars for now and I will return to read on and see where this goes. Janet

Janet/Helen
The Stranger In My Life

Overall good beginning-good hook. It's an interesting plot that provides a good story question, I like it. You do a good job with the character development and adding conflict. I can't find much to critique, high stars- Mark.

"Warm-Up Kills" is one of the best thrillers I have read on this site. I was hooked from page one and couldn't let go. The book is well written, fast-paced and humorous with an unforeseeable end. Bill and Freddie are believable and easy to warm to. Max is the perfect, ice-cold, psychopathic killer who feels no remorse - until the death of someone he loved makes him feel something other than pride in his work.

The pitch promised: "At the very least you will enjoy the ride as Bill and Freddie unravel the mystery." Bang on.

I'm wishing you the very best of luck to get this onto a shelf in a book store, Jack, because that's where it belongs. You're backed and high-starred.

All the best,
Nicola
"The Burden of the Badge"

Hi Jack, I've only just started with your first chapter but I will definitely read more of it. You go straight into action and kept me hooked throughout the entire chapter. Your writing comes natural and, through the use of first person singular, personal. I absolutely give you high stars.

Nicola Hoppe
"The Burden of the Badge"

Wow. what a story. You get straight into it and the first person narrative works really well. I like the coldness of this guy's profession and the way he's living right out there on the edge. The writing is well-honed and hard as a diamond. I like his preoccupation with his expertise and knowledge, his single-mindedness, like a professional killer would be.

Great stuff and I'm backing it and reading on - a Magnum on my bedside just in case, you understand.

Hi, JP!

It took me a while, because I read the whole thing. I was hooked from page one! Excellent writing, I can totally imagine this on a shelf in a books store. It felt like I was reading a book just like a real one I would buy. I wish you so much good luck with this book! It has the potential to be a great success if you can get that "break" you deserve. =D

Nice work. I usually only read a few chapters, but found myself reading on. Great job!

Wonderfully written. I love this one. Can't find any faults in it. The characterization is great. Easy flow-great storyline. I wish I had more time to go further right now, as i only read chapter one here. I will get back to it soon. Enough said- Excellent Story! High Stars from me and I will soon be adding you to my Bookshelf, once i make room. It remains on my WL for now. Thanks for sharing this one!

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me
-Surviving Manic Depression-My Story & The Real Truth on Managing It

JP,

I wanted to comment on chapter one while it was still fresh in my mind. I think you have a very easy to read style that has mostly good flow and keeps the reader entertained. There were a few points that didn't work for me, however.

The first part of chapter one would have been better served to have been introduced as the "Prologue" because that was really what it was (in my opinion). I'm not sure why one little word can set the expectation for the reader, but it does. It hindered my ability to "get into" the story because I was set to start the journey and had to read about the preparation first.

I think that this chapter (and perhaps others, as I read on) would benefit from a few "he said this or Max said that" additions to your conversations. I sometimes had to start a lengthy bit of dialog over again to figure out who was talking. Not something you want your readers to have to do. You should also take the opportunity to give a little commentary on facial expressions or body language that help set the scene.

The scene at the gas station was a bit confusing to me. The conversation with Sidney seems to start out as sort of a flash back and then merges into the present. I had to go back and reread that as well to see why it didn't make sense.

I saw 2 missing quotation marks, but other than that the grammer worked for me (warning: no expert here!).

My comments are meant to help, if possible. Take from them what you will. I'm just another keyboard hack trying to get a book published!

I'll comment on chapter 2 when I get more time.

DB

Well, it didn't take long to go from my watch list to my shelf. I am thoroughly enjoying your work. I honestly can not wait to finish your novel. I will leave a review once I have read it all. For now, very high stars!

A.M. Hunter

I am intrigued. I am placing you on my watch list. As I find the time between my flu riddled children I will read and comment. Thank you for the invitation to do so. I look forward to what is sure to be a true thriller!

A.M. Hunter

The Final Possession
They All Fall Down

Well Jack, what can i say that already hasn't already been said. This is gripping, masterful stuff. Had i more time i feel i could read it all in one sitting. Great fast paced writing, darkly comic. Very highly starred
Anthony Amor
A Long Way From Home

Dear Jack,

I absolutely loved this novel, very well written with plenty of action. I will certainly recommend it to my friends. Top stars well done.

Regards
Eddie McCann - Paper Doll

Great writing here. You capitvating my attention. Yes, your lead character is a bad dude, but something about his personality makes him interesting. He'd cold blooded, but wounded inside.

Given that he lost his parents when he was young, does he ever think about the children left behind after he kills people?

Good attention to detail in getting him a new car.

Chapter 2 ends in a weird spot. It doesn't feel right. Give it a capper.

I like how the assassination of the Senator leaves us with doubt about whether the jogger will identify him.

Well done. I'll back it.

Brian Bandell
Famous After Death / Mute

Hi JP, great start. solid pace. i like where you're taking the story. love the immediacy of M's first-person POV. starred and shelved.

i have a few very, very minor editing ideas. pls take with a grain.

maybe avoid use of ''totally' twice in first few paras.

'suitable for his talents' - made me wonder: what were they?

maybe 'Help A Hungry Homeless Vet' is enough for the sign

'... can make it dangerous for me." - maybe just '...make it dangerous.'



best wishes, a

Hi Jack - I've really enjoyed this. I like the characters you've created. They seem credible and real even if some of them aren't very nice people. The way you write is very easy to read and you build up suspense very well and make me want to continue reading. I've not read the whole thing as yet, but dipped in to various chapters. I would very much recommend this as a good read and I'm very happy to back it.

Good start, remains on WL.

Suspenseful.
Good development with pacing. I am pleased with the speed you have set.
Things are hopping always.
Perspective is well balanced with plot and characters.
The whole political end is just okay. To me it took something away.
Teacup is a creative personality.
Toni [Cavern of Time]

Oh, one more thing JP:

One senator down, 99 to go if we want to fix this fiscal cliff/debt ceiling/budget group of problems.

AW Daniels
Genetically Privileged

Quite an interesting read Jack:
Sorry to see Marian go so early, that would have been a nice collaboration. But that's how assassin's roll I guess.

From what I can tell the population of Rio Rancho is going to drop quickly so I'll bet you'll have him moving around a bit.

Very entertaining read! I'll watchlist it so I can finish what you've started.

Aw Daniels
Genetically Privileged

Jack,

Terrific stuff here. The pace is terrific from the start. I love the beady eyed man who hires Max in the begining, and the mystique of the group he represents. I also enjoyed the humor you have riddled throughout, including the conversation between the couple at the police station in the jogging suits. Max is great in the first three chapters, and you describe his thought process well.

The conversations are sharp and to the point. The book does not seem to skip a beat. Keep pushing this novel, it's destined to make it. It has earned a spot on my shelf. I am new to the site, and have read several books already. This is one of my favorites.

Sincerely,
Ryan

Hiya Jack. Wow. Very gripping and well written. It had me hooked and I didnt want to walk away from it. I think this is really pacey and sharp. I can only see good things for this book, but you need to push it all the way to the top. I congratulate you for it.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R)....Please consider me for a read or Watch List. Happy New Year. Sean

Hi Jack.

I liked the story and the style and I'm sure you will get this published. My only comment, which will put me out there on my own, is that I nearly put the book down as I read the first page. In 8 paragraphs we are introduced to the main character, find out what he looks like and an almost unbeleivable story about how he got started in the killing game. It reads like a list. I think if you looked again at the first page you could make it a little stronger by spending a lot more time on a more detailed descriptive piece, not just about how he looks or his first 'job' but what makes him tick. I do like this book, I think it has great potential. I have not had the opportunity to read your other work but taking someone else's comment it appears you are getting better each time you put finger to keyboard. I wish you great success and give big stars.

Raithe
The Trojan Towers

Jack,

You`ve committed a crime analogous to sacrilege. Your sin being: keeping me awake all night; till the wee hours of night reading ‘Warm-Up Kills’. How do you expect someone to start reading this novel, and stop in mid-flight? If your book ain`t C-4, then nothing is.

The depth of the story; the pace; the quality and setting, just superb. You`ve completely blown my mind. When I first came onto this forum; I had no idea I would encounter such priceless gems like yours. You`re one hell of a writer JP Hudson!

Any publisher rejecting this book would have to be off their tripods; …

Great book & story with a couple of twists and turns to keep the reader entwined. Very well written, only wanted to read a few chapters but ended up reading it all, and must say a very enjoyable read, this will do very well, it gets a 6-star rating from me,

Regards Neil

Jack I'm going to recommend the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child to you. Every time I read your stuff I hear influences of Lee Child in this. That's a great thing because he's a great writer.

And so are you.

Pace and tension are well done in this and the characters are quite appealing. You seem to get better with each book J & P so keep at it.

Highly starred, easily backed, and I will be coming back to read more. Now I'm back to "One Shot" and wriitng an intro to "Mary Wept" that has been giving me quite "The Exorcist" level nightmare.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou", "The Wings of the Seraph" & "Shadow Ghosts of the Moonlight"

well written and gripping. Thrillers not usually my thing only read first chapter so far but high hopes for the rest.

well written and gripping. Thrillers not usually my thing only read first chapter so far but high hopes for the rest.

Really good start! How can anyone fail to read on when the book begins with 'I am a killer?' And getting people to read on is the first job of a book, otherwise what's the point?
But is doesn't stop there. Well written, a strong lead character and an interesting premise. No problem backing this!
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

I checked out your piece; Warm up Kills.

Great starting chapter, really fast paced and gives the reader just enough to know what kind of person Max is and a little of his background. I don’t know if there was a previously book about Max before this one but the information you provided allows the reader to not be out in the cold if they haven’t read any previous books (like me).
Max’s character is clear cut and likable, you make his character and background very believable right away, which is definitely valuable when you have a story like this.
CH2: “Now that I had an arrest record, the police would suspect me right away unless they had someone else to suspect.” I think it’s better to avoid using the same words over and over again like ‘suspect’, maybe you could substitute the 2nd one for ‘pin it on’?
In Ch1, I would say that maybe it isn’t necessary to describe all the types of clothing he wears, I think that saying that he dressed to stay inconspicuous is enough to give the reader the idea.
But anyway, great read so far and high stars.

- Pamela

High Starts. Besides being one of the best I've read on the sight, it is a true thriller. It's sociopath mc kept me going. More comments later, JP, Good job! Catherine Wooldridge/Disappearing in Elmendorf, Texas

Hi Jack.
I enjoyed the read - well written and well constructed.
Rob

Excellent opening. We love thrillers and Max promises to be an intriguing character - love the matter-of-fact way he relates killing non-combatants, especially his women, on the chance they could betray him. Should be disturbing but for Max's off-centre psychotic charm - he's operating and surviving in a very singular world. One of our favourite heroes is Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer and the directness of the writing reminds us of that. Great stuff, hugely enjoyable. We just added it to the bookshelf.
Philippa Gray and Alan Shields.