15
Adrian Murdock approached the door of Mark Custer’s old training shack. He paused, looked up at the tangle of spider webs, took a deep breath, and tapped out the silly secret knock with one knuckle. He really dreaded the several hour long session he was about to endure, but no more than the aftermath when he would arrive back home to Felicia’s endless suspicious questions. Adrian heard himself saying, “No, I was not with a woman. Mark. Training. And I still can’t tell you where until after the election because you could let it slip inadvertently.” She would not be satisfied with that answer, of course, but what else could he say or do?
He knew Mark and Carl were inside because their cars stood on the overgrown driveway. One of them unlocked the door from inside. As he walked into the filthy insect-and rodent-infested house, he continued looking up at water stains and more cobwebs on the ceiling, not even knowing which of his tormentors had opened the door for him, and not caring. His ordeal in the dungeon had begun.
After greetings, Mark got them right to work. “Alright, Adrian, recite your universal answer to a reporter’s question.”
“There are those who disagree with our federal government being involved with anything. While the constitution does provide limits, look at the many things the government has done for us.” Adrian then began reciting a litany of “wonderful” federal government programs and the resulting “improvements” in people’s lives. He stumbled somewhat and Carl interrupted. “Pretend I’m a reporter and I say, ′You aren’t answering my question.` Some hostile reporters may do that. What would you say?”
Adrian seemed lost for an answer.
Now Carl jumped in. “You simply say, ′If you’ll bear with me, you will find that I am answering your question,` and then go right back to where you were interrupted and continue your universal answer.”
“What if this speech fragment really has no application to his question?”
“It doesn’t matter. You really aren’t interested in what the reporter thinks. The electorate doesn’t care what he thinks, either. They only hear your reply and it becomes a sound bite in spite of what the reporter thinks.” Mark was almost laughing as he spoke.
“But, I don’t really believe in some things in that list of government goodies.”
Carl almost blew his stack and answered in a loud voice. “Are we back to what you believe again? You are a politician. Your profession rests several steps under prostitution when it comes to truth and what you believe in. Winning an election is your goal, your only goal. If you have to believe in something, believe in internal polls and our interpretation of them. Say what we tell you to say. Your silly beliefs are wearing Mark and I out. Get your head in the game and DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!”
“Okay, okay, but there are some things this little speech won’t answer. What if someone asks about whether I killed Rose to win the election?”
“You probably won’t be asked that because the media leans heavily democrat, but if you are, just look hurt, shake your head and go back to your universal answer as though the question is beneath you and doesn’t deserve an answer.”
“What if he persists?”
“Then tell him his question doesn’t deserve an answer and go back to your spiel.”
“I’ve been trying to learn this thing, but am really having difficulty.”
“Learn it like you would learn the lines in a play. If you were playing the villain, you wouldn’t have to believe in him, would you? If you don’t learn it we can’t go to the next lesson.” Mark spoke as Carl walked away shaking his head.
“You mean there’s another lesson?” asked Adrian.
“Not till you learn this one,” Carl yelled from across the room.
“Now, start over again,” Mark persisted.
This time Adrian was not interrupted.
“That’s better,” Mark and Carl said simultaneously.
“Does my opponent go through this same kind of training?” Adrian addressed this question to Carl because he had experience training republicans.
“Republican culture is somewhat different, but yes, their candidates have to use the same basic technique, ignore the question and say what you want to say.”
“What happens in a long interview with lots of questions?”
“First, we have to avoid those situations until you learn to expand on each point in your universal answer list. You aren’t nearly ready for that. Here’s a detailed breakdown of each point for you to memorize. The order of the points is important; they are in descending order starting with the electorate’s top concern.” Mark handed him several pages.
“So, no matter what the follow-up questions are, I stay with this?” Adrian waved the multipage list as he spoke.
“That’s the idea,” Mark seemed happier.
“What if I’m asked to respond to a smear from my opponent?”
“It will probably be something to do with big government control or higher taxes. ′There are those who disagree with our Federal Government being involved with anything.` The universal answer applies here, too. And, it does not directly accuse your opponent. If he takes the bait in a reply, you simply have less back peddling to do if that becomes necessary. Carl had calmed down somewhat. “Look, I know all of this is hard for you, but you simply must learn to avoid talking yourself into a trap. According to our internal polling, this election is now yours to lose. I guess your handsome face and deer-in-the-headlights countenance has taken you a long way so far. But it’s going to get tougher now, and you must be ready. Stay on track and don’t get caught in contradictions.”
“The President contradicts himself all the time.”
“That’s different. It’s been proven that in a presidential election people forget what the incumbent said even a month ago. The electorate really has that short a memory. But in your case, the election is right around the corner.
“On the question of how to reply to a smear from your opponent, we will tell you specifically what to say right after the opponent attempts his smear. You use the universal answer if you are unable to get back to us before the question, or you simply say, “I am preparing a comprehensive answer to your question and will get back to you soon.”
“Now, I’m really confused.”
“Welcome to grown-up politics,” Carl spoke from across the room. “But you’re just getting started.”
“Do you still believe Mark and I had something to do with Rose’s murder?”
“I don’t believe you did, but I wouldn’t put it past Mark.”
“You got that right. I would do anything to get you elected.” Mark’s eyes narrowed as he spoke. “Absolute commitment is the only way to win an election. If I thought killing Rose was the only way to get you elected, of course I would do it. Believe I did, if you want. Do you think you have that kind of commitment to be a U.S. Senator?”
The subject of the meeting then changed to the various public addresses and media interviews that had to be scheduled for the remainder of the campaign. After several more hours, the meeting ended with a last comment from Mark. “We are fortunate that the governor chose not to try to replace Rose for the remainder of her term because time is so short. The Governor knew that by the time a new senator could have been sworn in and shown the ropes, the current session would have been over. At least, we aren’t having to run against an incumbent with some media exposure and name recognition.”
Driving home, Adrian felt relieved to be out of the torture chamber but dreaded the inevitable homecoming inquisition concerning his whereabouts. He wondered if he should answer Felicia with “There are those who disagree with our federal government …” Then he began laughing out loud.
However, when he entered his home, he found that Felicia had something else to hammer him with.
“Two Senators and a Representative killed. People hate legislators so bad, they are killing them off. A five percent congressional approval rating proves how people despise them. Being a Senator is too dangerous. You have to drop out of the race.”
Adrian was relieved and happy that Felicia had found a different obsession to bludgeon him with. Now instead of her infidelity accusations which, of course, were not true, she had turned her one-track mind to a conspiracy theory, which could actually be true. The change is refreshing.
After the death of Rose Gomez, the traditional media had sensationalized it as much as it could; sold more newspapers and attained more TV ratings for a while. It had been a mildly profitable national story for a few days, but had faded.
Then two more deaths of legislators followed, rekindling the fire. Now conspiracy theories dominated the internet, which had become, along with talk radio, the new hot media as the popularity of the old traditional media declined.
A growing minority of elected members of congress cancelled appearances at public events as each tried to avoid being next. Many also beefed up security when they were in their home districts. The fear spread; first to staff members and interns and then to government bureaucrats. The belief had become widespread that conspirators were not just targeting Congress, but all of the Federal government in spite of there being no evidence in support of the idea.
The internet seemed to love conspiracy theories; everything from alien attacks to democrat party activism, (even terrorism). One of the most prevalent attitudes might be stated: “Good people can’t be elected with our system. The only solution is to kill the incumbents off, hoping corrupt candidates will become too afraid to run for office.”
“There have been three kills. That doesn’t indicate that all members of congress are being targeted. Try to be reasonable, dear.”
“You don’t have to be a U.S. Senator .”
“I’m a career politician. That’s what I do. I’m not giving in to hysterics.”
“Oh, now I’m being hysterical.”
“Aren’t you? Use your brain, Felicia. I’m working my tail off to win this election and I won’t let you stand in my way. Get with the program. Now, I’m worn out and am going to bed.”
As Adrian left the room he felt almost elated that Felicia had changed obsession horses. She had said not a word about another woman. 15
Adrian Murdock approached the door of Mark Custer’s old training shack. He paused, looked up at the tangle of spider webs, took a deep breath, and tapped out the silly secret knock with one knuckle. He really dreaded the several hour long session he was about to endure, but no more than the aftermath when he would arrive back home to Felicia’s endless suspicious questions. Adrian heard himself saying, “No, I was not with a woman. Mark. Training. And I still can’t tell you where until after the election because you could let it slip inadvertently.” She would not be satisfied with that answer, of course, but what else could he say or do?
He knew Mark and Carl were inside because their cars stood on the overgrown driveway. One of them unlocked the door from inside. As he walked into the filthy insect-and rodent-infested house, he continued looking up at water stains and more cobwebs on the ceiling, not even knowing which of his tormentors had opened the door for him, and not caring. His ordeal in the dungeon had begun.
After greetings, Mark got them right to work. “Alright, Adrian, recite your universal answer to a reporter’s question.”
“There are those who disagree with our federal government being involved with anything. While the constitution does provide limits, look at the many things the government has done for us.” Adrian then began reciting a litany of “wonderful” federal government programs and the resulting “improvements” in people’s lives. He stumbled somewhat and Carl interrupted. “Pretend I’m a reporter and I say, ′You aren’t answering my question.` Some hostile reporters may do that. What would you say?”
Adrian seemed lost for an answer.
Now Carl jumped in. “You simply say, ′If you’ll bear with me, you will find that I am answering your question,` and then go right back to where you were interrupted and continue your universal answer.”
“What if this speech fragment really has no application to his question?”
“It doesn’t matter. You really aren’t interested in what the reporter thinks. The electorate doesn’t care what he thinks, either. They only hear your reply and it becomes a sound bite in spite of what the reporter thinks.” Mark was almost laughing as he spoke.
“But, I don’t really believe in some things in that list of government goodies.”
Carl almost blew his stack and answered in a loud voice. “Are we back to what you believe again? You are a politician. Your profession rests several steps under prostitution when it comes to truth and what you believe in. Winning an election is your goal, your only goal. If you have to believe in something, believe in internal polls and our interpretation of them. Say what we tell you to say. Your silly beliefs are wearing Mark and I out. Get your head in the game and DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!”
“Okay, okay, but there are some things this little speech won’t answer. What if someone asks about whether I killed Rose to win the election?”
“You probably won’t be asked that because the media leans heavily democrat, but if you are, just look hurt, shake your head and go back to your universal answer as though the question is beneath you and doesn’t deserve an answer.”
“What if he persists?”
“Then tell him his question doesn’t deserve an answer and go back to your spiel.”
“I’ve been trying to learn this thing, but am really having difficulty.”
“Learn it like you would learn the lines in a play. If you were playing the villain, you wouldn’t have to believe in him, would you? If you don’t learn it we can’t go to the next lesson.” Mark spoke as Carl walked away shaking his head.
“You mean there’s another lesson?” asked Adrian.
“Not till you learn this one,” Carl yelled from across the room.
“Now, start over again,” Mark persisted.
This time Adrian was not interrupted.
“That’s better,” Mark and Carl said simultaneously.
“Does my opponent go through this same kind of training?” Adrian addressed this question to Carl because he had experience training republicans.
“Republican culture is somewhat different, but yes, their candidates have to use the same basic technique, ignore the question and say what you want to say.”
“What happens in a long interview with lots of questions?”
“First, we have to avoid those situations until you learn to expand on each point in your universal answer list. You aren’t nearly ready for that. Here’s a detailed breakdown of each point for you to memorize. The order of the points is important; they are in descending order starting with the electorate’s top concern.” Mark handed him several pages.
“So, no matter what the follow-up questions are, I stay with this?” Adrian waved the multipage list as he spoke.
“That’s the idea,” Mark seemed happier.
“What if I’m asked to respond to a smear from my opponent?”
“It will probably be something to do with big government control or higher taxes. ′There are those who disagree with our Federal Government being involved with anything.` The universal answer applies here, too. And, it does not directly accuse your opponent. If he takes the bait in a reply, you simply have less back peddling to do if that becomes necessary. Carl had calmed down somewhat. “Look, I know all of this is hard for you, but you simply must learn to avoid talking yourself into a trap. According to our internal polling, this election is now yours to lose. I guess your handsome face and deer-in-the-headlights countenance has taken you a long way so far. But it’s going to get tougher now, and you must be ready. Stay on track and don’t get caught in contradictions.”
“The President contradicts himself all the time.”
“That’s different. It’s been proven that in a presidential election people forget what the incumbent said even a month ago. The electorate really has that short a memory. But in your case, the election is right around the corner.
“On the question of how to reply to a smear from your opponent, we will tell you specifically what to say right after the opponent attempts his smear. You use the universal answer if you are unable to get back to us before the question, or you simply say, “I am preparing a comprehensive answer to your question and will get back to you soon.”
“Now, I’m really confused.”
“Welcome to grown-up politics,” Carl spoke from across the room. “But you’re just getting started.”
“Do you still believe Mark and I had something to do with Rose’s murder?”
“I don’t believe you did, but I wouldn’t put it past Mark.”
“You got that right. I would do anything to get you elected.” Mark’s eyes narrowed as he spoke. “Absolute commitment is the only way to win an election. If I thought killing Rose was the only way to get you elected, of course I would do it. Believe I did, if you want. Do you think you have that kind of commitment to be a U.S. Senator?”
The subject of the meeting then changed to the various public addresses and media interviews that had to be scheduled for the remainder of the campaign. After several more hours, the meeting ended with a last comment from Mark. “We are fortunate that the governor chose not to try to replace Rose for the remainder of her term because time is so short. The Governor knew that by the time a new senator could have been sworn in and shown the ropes, the current session would have been over. At least, we aren’t having to run against an incumbent with some media exposure and name recognition.”
Driving home, Adrian felt relieved to be out of the torture chamber but dreaded the inevitable homecoming inquisition concerning his whereabouts. He wondered if he should answer Felicia with “There are those who disagree with our federal government …” Then he began laughing out loud.
However, when he entered his home, he found that Felicia had something else to hammer him with.
“Two Senators and a Representative killed. People hate legislators so bad, they are killing them off. A five percent congressional approval rating proves how people despise them. Being a Senator is too dangerous. You have to drop out of the race.”
Adrian was relieved and happy that Felicia had found a different obsession to bludgeon him with. Now instead of her infidelity accusations which, of course, were not true, she had turned her one-track mind to a conspiracy theory, which could actually be true. The change is refreshing.
After the death of Rose Gomez, the traditional media had sensationalized it as much as it could; sold more newspapers and attained more TV ratings for a while. It had been a mildly profitable national story for a few days, but had faded.
Then two more deaths of legislators followed, rekindling the fire. Now conspiracy theories dominated the internet, which had become, along with talk radio, the new hot media as the popularity of the old traditional media declined.
A growing minority of elected members of congress cancelled appearances at public events as each tried to avoid being next. Many also beefed up security when they were in their home districts. The fear spread; first to staff members and interns and then to government bureaucrats. The belief had become widespread that conspirators were not just targeting Congress, but all of the Federal government in spite of there being no evidence in support of the idea.
The internet seemed to love conspiracy theories; everything from alien attacks to democrat party activism, (even terrorism). One of the most prevalent attitudes might be stated: “Good people can’t be elected with our system. The only solution is to kill the incumbents off, hoping corrupt candidates will become too afraid to run for office.”
“There have been three kills. That doesn’t indicate that all members of congress are being targeted. Try to be reasonable, dear.”
“You don’t have to be a U.S. Senator .”
“I’m a career politician. That’s what I do. I’m not giving in to hysterics.”
“Oh, now I’m being hysterical.”
“Aren’t you? Use your brain, Felicia. I’m working my tail off to win this election and I won’t let you stand in my way. Get with the program. Now, I’m worn out and am going to bed.”
As Adrian left the room he felt almost elated that Felicia had changed obsession horses. She had said not a word about another woman.