Book Jacket

 

rank 5845
word count 21710
date submitted 27.02.2012
date updated 04.05.2012
genres: Non-fiction
classification: moderate
complete

My Survival of Rape

M. Strawderman

My survival of rape/sexual assault. Surviving, recovering and healing from rape.

 

This book is a record of my journey to recovery from my rape. Rape is a hard to overcome. Through the help of others I have finally made it to recovery. I am healed. However, the journey was long and very hard. There were days when I wanted to give up. Too many sexual assault survivors feel this way. Many also feel alone. So I wrote this book as a way to show them that they are not alone and that it is possible to heal from it. I have been to the deepest depths of depression and come back from it. Art therapy helped, so I have included black and white copies of my drawings. I have also included a research section based upon the research I did while attaining my master's degree.

 
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tags

cutting, depression, heal, ptsd, rape, recovery, self-harm, sexual assault, suicide

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References

 

Ahrens, C. E., Abeling, S., Ahmad, S., & Hinman, J. (2010). Spirituality and well-being: The relationship between religious coping and recovery from sexual assault. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 25(7), 1242-1263. doi: 10.1177/0886260509340533.

Ahrens, C. E., Rios-Mandel, L. C., Isas, L., & del Carmen Lopez, M. (2010). Talking about interpersonal violence: Cultural influences on Latinas’ identification and disclosure of sexual assault and intimate partner violence. Psychology Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 2(4), 284-295. doi: 10.1037/a0018605.

Behnken, M. P., Le, Y. L., Temple, J. R., & Berenson, A. B. (2010). Forced sexual intercourse, suicidality, and binge drinking among adolescent girls. Addictive Behaviors, 35(5), 507-509. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2009.12.008.

Ben-Ezra, M., Palgi, Y., Sternberg, D., Berkley, D., Eldar, H., Glidai, Y., …Shrira, A. (2010). Losing my religion: A preliminary study of changes in belief pattern after sexual assault. Traumatology, 16(2), 7-13.

 

 

Boykins, A. D., Alvanzo, A. A. H., Carson, S., Forte, J., Leisex, M., & Plichta, S. (2010). Minority women victims of recent sexual violence: Disparitieces in incident history. Journal of Women’s Health, 19(3). doi: 10.1089/jwh.2009.1484.

Bryant-Davis, T., Chung, H., & Tillman, S. (2009). From the margins to the center: Ethnic minority women and the mental health effects of sexual assault. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse 10(4), 330-357. doi: 10.1177/15248380099339755.

Bryant-Davis, T., Ullman, S. E., Tsong, Y, Tillman, S., & Smith, K. (2010). Struggling to survive: Sexual assault, poverty, and mental health outcomes of African American women. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 80(1), 61-70. doi: 10.1111/j.1939-0025.2010.01007.x.

Campbell, R. (2008). The psychological impact of rape victims. American Psychologist, 63(8), 702-717. doi: 10.1037/0003-066X.63.8.702

Franklin, C. A. (2010). Physically forced, alcohol-induced, and verbally coerced sexual victimization: Assessing risk factors among university women. Journal of Criminal Justice, 38(2), 149-159. doi: 10.1016/j.jcrimjus.2010.02.004.

Hetzel-Riggin, M. D. (2010). Peritraumatic dissociation and PTSD effects on physiological response patterns in sexual assault victims. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 2(3), 192-200. doi: 10.1037/a0019892.

Lalor, K., & McElvaney, R. (2010). Child sexual abuse, links to later sexual exploitation/high-risk sexual behavior, and prevention/treatment programs. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 11(4), 159-177. doi: 10.1177/1524838010378299.

Mohl, A. (2010). Sexual abuse of the child: A treatment model for the incestuous family. The Journal of Psychohistory, 38(2), 168-181.

Minority Health--Quick Facts. (n.d.). Families USA: The Voice for Health Care Consumers. Retrieved March 4, 2011, from http://www.familiesusa.org/issues/minority-health/facts

RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. One of “America’s 100 Best Charities" —Worth magazine. (2009). RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. One of “America’s 100 Best Charities" —Worth magazine. Retrieved February 27, 2010, from http://www.rainn.org/ 

Rothenberg, P. S. (2010). Race, class, and gender in the United States (8th ed.). New York: Worth Publishers.

Rusinko, H. M., Bradley, A. R., & Miller, J. (2010). Assertiveness and attributions of blame toward victims of sexual assault. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 19(4), 357-371. doi:10.1080/10926771003788961.

Sexual Assault Statistics. (n.d.). Sexual Assault Statistics. Retrieved March 4, 2011, from www.ncdsv.org/images/SexualAssaultStatistics.pdf

Weiss, K. G. (2010). Male sexual victimization: Examining men’s experiences of rape and sexual assault. Men and Masculinities, 12(3), 275-298. doi: 10.1177/1097184X08322632.

Wright, C. V., Collinsworth, L. L., & Fitzgerald, L. E. (2010). Why did this happen to me? Cognitive schema disruption and posttraumatic stress disorder in victims of sexual trauma. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 25(10), 1801-1814. doi:10.1177/0886260509354500.

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purpleducky wrote 297 days ago

I have always said that it takes a special kind of courage to write about the most intimate aspects of our lives, especially in circumstances such as this, and put it out there for all to read. But as you have expressed, you have a motivation for telling your story and it is my hope that your vision for it would be realized. I must note, however, that relaying your experience of that unfortunate day right that the beginning of your book, and in the way you have, might create an unintended impression. It might give the book an aura of explicitness as opposed to the healing it is supposed to bring to others who have suffered the same pain like yours. You might want t work on this. Having said, that I would also like to once again thank you for your continuous backing of my book.



I wanted to thank you for reading and responding. I have gotten the same feedback a few times. And I wish I could put more into it. But unfortunately, that is how I remember things. So I'm not exactly sure how to fix it.

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David Olawoyin wrote 302 days ago

I have always said that it takes a special kind of courage to write about the most intimate aspects of our lives, especially in circumstances such as this, and put it out there for all to read. But as you have expressed, you have a motivation for telling your story and it is my hope that your vision for it would be realized. I must note, however, that relaying your experience of that unfortunate day right that the beginning of your book, and in the way you have, might create an unintended impression. It might give the book an aura of explicitness as opposed to the healing it is supposed to bring to others who have suffered the same pain like yours. You might want t work on this. Having said, that I would also like to once again thank you for your continuous backing of my book.

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David Olawoyin wrote 316 days ago

It's takes a unique kind of boldness and strength to write a book like this. I am putting it on my schedule for a closer look over the next few days and hope to get back with a more detailed comment. Thanks for the perseverance. Blessings always.

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Karamak wrote 364 days ago

This is so brave of you to write revisiting all those dark place I truly hope it has helped to mend you. I have written about the death of my son in my book and it hurt so much. I admire your strength and wish you well, high stars all the best Karen x

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patio wrote 377 days ago

You are a real victim of rape. But there are women/men who cry wolf. Those people should be sent to prison for life. Rape is not a game. Its a terrible crime. Hell await your attacker

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Marita A. Hansen wrote 417 days ago

I've just finished reading That Night. What you went through sounds like a similar situation to what happened to a friend of mine. My friend originally told me and my other friends about her first experience, which was a romantic version of what (didn't) happen with (in her case) a boyfriend, but I found out later it wasn't true, that she was forced. I had no idea what rape was back then because I was a kid. You are very brave for writing this, and I agree there needs to be more support in this area. I will read on and comment on your next chapter when I grab some more time.

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purpleducky wrote 425 days ago

this is a story that is brave to tell. but i agree with the comments below. it is choppy and cold. and it doesn't yet flow smoothly. perhaps you could rework it a bit, focus on transitional sentences and smooth down the rough spots. i do not think, though, that you should give up on it...
j



I have done a lot of editing but my files are too big. I am trying to figure out how to make them smaller so I can upload.

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scargirl wrote 425 days ago

this is a story that is brave to tell. but i agree with the comments below. it is choppy and cold. and it doesn't yet flow smoothly. perhaps you could rework it a bit, focus on transitional sentences and smooth down the rough spots. i do not think, though, that you should give up on it...
j

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purpleducky wrote 443 days ago

Thank you! I appreciate your feedback.

M,

I read the intro and the first chapter.

This must have been very difficult (understatement eh?) and this comes out in your writing. I am not sure the best way to criticise or be constructive.
Some of the writing feels detached. But I feel sure that this was the best way you were able to write about such a terrible and traumatic event. It feels like a statement given to the police, very factual, bereft of feeling.

We can see from the scene in the shower and the self denial to your boyfriend that you were disgusted, feeling that you were somehow responsible, unable to rid yourself of the disgust and forget about it. I've heard that some people cope with such acts by blocking them out so taht they can be normal again.

There are clunky sentences, repetitive phrases etc that detract. I do not think should should change the detached nature of the narrative in this chapter - this is the way you have written it, your voice and your story. However, I would add a pargraph at the end that really lets people know the true emotions you were feeling then, and feeling now. It is OK to do that, especially in this impersonal environment. I would sort out some of the clunky sentences. A good edit should do this.

Powerful, difficult, but important. Thankyou for sharing this.

Best wishes
Warrick

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Warrick Mayes wrote 443 days ago

M,

I read the intro and the first chapter.

This must have been very difficult (understatement eh?) and this comes out in your writing. I am not sure the best way to criticise or be constructive.
Some of the writing feels detached. But I feel sure that this was the best way you were able to write about such a terrible and traumatic event. It feels like a statement given to the police, very factual, bereft of feeling.

We can see from the scene in the shower and the self denial to your boyfriend that you were disgusted, feeling that you were somehow responsible, unable to rid yourself of the disgust and forget about it. I've heard that some people cope with such acts by blocking them out so taht they can be normal again.

There are clunky sentences, repetitive phrases etc that detract. I do not think should should change the detached nature of the narrative in this chapter - this is the way you have written it, your voice and your story. However, I would add a pargraph at the end that really lets people know the true emotions you were feeling then, and feeling now. It is OK to do that, especially in this impersonal environment. I would sort out some of the clunky sentences. A good edit should do this.

Powerful, difficult, but important. Thankyou for sharing this.

Best wishes
Warrick

report abuse
Warrick Mayes wrote 443 days ago

M,

I read the intro and the first chapter.

This must have been very difficult (understatement eh?) and this comes out in your writing. I am not sure the best way to criticise or be constructive.
Some of the writing feels detached. But I feel sure that this was the best way you were able to write about such a terrible and traumatic event. It feels like a statement given to the police, very factual, bereft of feeling.

We can see from the scene in the shower and the self denial to your boyfriend that you were disgusted, feeling that you were somehow responsible, unable to rid yourself of the disgust and forget about it. I've heard that some people cope with such acts by blocking them out so taht they can be normal again.

There are clunky sentences, repetitive phrases etc that detract. I do not think should should change the detached nature of the narrative in this chapter - this is the way you have written it, your voice and your story. However, I would add a pargraph at the end that really lets people know the true emotions you were feeling then, and feeling now. It is OK to do that, especially in this impersonal environment. I would sort out some of the clunky sentences. A good edit should do this.

Powerful, difficult, but important. Thankyou for sharing this.

Best wishes
Warrick

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