Agent "H", Hope For Hadley And Healing For The Rest of Us!

Dear Mary Ann. This is a really good attempt. My sister has similar circumstances and that was the reason I had to read this to see about familiarities. I love this and will get her to read it. So well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Dear Mary Ann

I came across your writing when I did a search on 'autism'. I have just put my novel on the site which is about a man who finds himself falling in love with an autistic woman. I have a daughter with high functioning autism and could empathise with many of the difficulties you experienced, and as a Christian I have found my faith tested to the limit. When we first received our daughter's diagnosis, our first instinct was to research as many methods and treatmens as possible to enable us to change our daughter's behaviour. Only over time, did we realise that God was wanting to change us - to help us become more loving, patient and flexible and to worry less about what other people thought about us and our family. Time and again, we have been brought back to the realisation that Jesus has been with us in our suffering and has been blessing us in ways we never imagined. The most wonderful thing about your writing is your honesty and your Christian witness. I hope that many people will find your story inspirational and, for those who have autistic children, will discover the comfort that the God of all comfort can bring.

God bless

Kathryn

Mary Ann;
This is very good writing indeed. It's well told and a blessing for anyone with a child who has special needs or anyone for that matter. I like the way you come into the story and explain how things seem to go from perfect to hell in a split second. I felt your frustration at trying to get help and figure out what the problem was with your daughter. You bring the reader in with your feeling of near helplessness. High stars from me and on my W/L
Shirley Grace
The Devil's Stepchild

This is a great read! I have finished the first page and will move on through this book with anticipation. I worked in the Early Intervention system for 7 + years and still work with children who are delayed for handwriting.

Roslyn Alexander

Scribe-Lings, for your child like heart
"I Am" Through the Ages, for your seeking heart

Mary Ann,
My heart went out to Hadley as I progressed beyond the first chapter of your book. This society we live in with its artificial feelgood stimulants giving people a sense of well-being they equate with happiness, their self-gratifying methods encased in protective shells from anything disruptive, inures them to the realities of hardship and despair. Those of us however, thrust into situations where these realities routinely blare at our faces like cold water waking us up from our haze, should be thankful despite the bruising of the bad because the joy of the good transcends any quick fixes available to the buying public. Your straightforward narrative and dialogue where needed, make the read easy and delightful. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

I wonder, it says the work is complete, yet only just over 10,000 words; is this right? Maybe there is more, I hope so!

Hi,
Thanks for your interest...I am in the process of having my story published....so I'm only displaying a few chapters...It will soon be available for purchase....
Mary ann

I wonder, it says the work is complete, yet only just over 10,000 words; is this right? Maybe there is more, I hope so!

Hi Mary Ann,

I just came back to read some more of your wonderful book. You write so well, and the story compels the reader to keep reading. I'm sure you will do well with your book.

Kerrie Price
THE GOD PLEASERS 40 day Study Guide

Mary Ann,

I just read the first 3 chapters of your wonderful book. What an inspirational and important story you have to tell! I can't even begin to imagine the journey you have walked. Your experiences are so relevant and can offer much hope and encouragement to many.

A few thoughts:

I'm thinking it might work better to start with your 2nd chapter. It's very powerful, and the PERFECT section at the end is a great hook for the reader. But by mentioning this in the 1st chapter, some of the impact is lost. I would suggest working in your first chapter later on in the book.

Your writing could also benefit from a thorough edit to clean up some grammar and punctuation errors. I also agree with another reviewer who mentioned the overuse of exclamation points. Cleaning things up would greatly enhance your story as I found myself a bit distracted by these types of errors.

You have such an important story here. I pray all the best for you and your family.

Many blessings!

Patti
A God for All Seasons

Agent H. I am drawn to the subject matter of your story. Having a 'different' child is so very hard. But so very special.
Ch.1. You tell of your yuppie existence in detail, but I cant help wondering if you showed it in story-like fashion - whether readers would find it more interesting, and be able to relate to the characters better.

Do you want nits? If you searched the number of times you used the word 'was' you'd discover ways to avoid the repetitions! Others too close together could also be searched out. 'great' hits my eye on the first page.
And editors are notorious for their dislike of exclamation marks! You'll find by omitting them, the message is even stronger - 'less is more'.
There are some unnecessary words which spoil the flow of a story: soon, begin to, just.

Your story comes alive on that cold afternoon in 1994. (But you do have rather too many sentences beginning with 'It was'. And beware of over-labouring the bewilderment at Hadley's condition).
I love the 'mirage of merriment'.
It would break up the paragraphs better if you used new paragraphs for every piece of dialogue - prayers or otherwise.
Maybe put the Bible quotes in italics?
Perhaps you could give us an anecdote of what it was like bathing, hairbrushing and dressing Hadley - instead of merely narrating the facts?
Describing it as 'the other side of life' is brilliant. And the bit about her counting the stripes on the sofa brings the story alive. But you need to break up the paragraphs.

Ch.2. Oh - the first chapter must have been a sort-of Prologue. I wonder if you shouldnt have started with this one. It takes the reader immediately into the action. And I love therich, colourful description of the fall.
Better still, the last-minute appearance of the doctor at the climax of your 'symphonic production.'

Ch.3. I think you must mean three starved lions.
Your humour is a good idea, with some lovely phrases - 'obnoxious obtrusion' - but it sneeds to be served in fine-tuned, sparing slices, with no hint of repetition, to be effective. Dont labour th3e point!
I like the idea of acting out the scenes of a play.

You have important things to say here, and I can see this story is one which has to be told. It is special, and worth spending time to get right. It will be worth it in the end. (Mine took ten years in the writing and re-writing, and re.... but was conceived 40 years ago!)

Hope this helps.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

I read the first page, I liked it. Great writing style, and I couldn't spot any mistakes.
So well done
Ellen Michelle..x

Bless your heart, Mary Ann, I just read your book and found it very nicely written. I could see little Hadley in the day care center, on the beach and under you and your husband's love and care. The first time I heard of autism I was watching a news show where a mother was discussing her son who was non-conversant and after a surgery, he began to speak. She said it was such an amazing transformation, he was 9 or 10 and had never said Mother or anything. She began quizzing everyone and found out there was some hormone or something from a pig that she and the doctor settled on as the catalyst for change. I said all that to say I could feel the pain and heartache as well as the love in your book like I could see in her face. You're a wonderful mother and fantastice author. God bless you and keep up the wonderful work! God bless you!!
Elizabeth Kathleen
"If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen, Can I Get a Discount on Six"

Hi, Mary Ann – this is your return review from AudreyB. I am often accompanied on my reviews by my English teacher alter-ego, The Grammar Hag. If I say anything you don’t like, it was probably her idea.

We must be about the same age; I graduated from college in 1982.

“We will catch you later, God.” There is so much truth in this sentiment. We get busy—with important tasks!—and think we will have time later for God.

How frightening it must have been, to have had an autistic child when getting a diagnosis was so difficult. We had seen films in college about autism, but these children were at the extreme end of the autism spectrum. The condition was still so unusual. You convey your fears and worries effectively.

Your writing puts us right into your daycare, right into your family room as you discover Hadley’s condition and what you’ll have to do to care for her.

Very moving!


~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Informative and thought provoking book.... thanks for sharing. Would buy it if it becomes available

Hi Mary Ann, i have just read to the end of chapter 9. I found by the end of each chapter that i wanted to read on and see how all of your lives were progressing. Your writing was honest and heartfelt and i am amazed at how well you got through the dark times. Great book cover. I look forward to reading further and I recommend this read. Good luck with this, i will add it to my watchlist and star it for you, great work. Little Miggy x

I have read several chapters of your book and find it very moving. It would be a great help to others who find themselves in a similar position. To read of your personal experience and the way you coped throughout would be a great encouragement. I really love the personal testimony interwoven in the book. I especially love chapter 13 - oh how deep the question for each of us 'do I love God because of what he can do for me? Or do I love God for who he is?' Each of us should answer that irrespective of our circumstances!!

There is much to learn from this book - 'we try to muddle through things all by ourselves. Sometimes we don't even ask Him for help.' 'The Lord sure does know all about the extra help that I need with my special child and he delivers!' The meeting with the 'angel woman' and much more besides were all wonderful insights into your developing relationship with God and with your special child.

I did notice a few grammar/typo errors but these could easily be corrected with a good proof read I'm sure. The main thing is that you have a very personal story to share which could help others so all the very best with this book. Highly rated

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

I'm back with support for my favourite book

Mary-Ann,
I've read five chapters and find your book inspiring and extremely moving. You have a powerful story to tell and I found myself unable to stop reading. Besides providing an amazing insight into your life and the daily struggles with autism, your show how your faith has been tested and strengthened - that is an inspiration and your book is both enlightening and uplifting.
I hope it does well. Best of luck,
Melissa
Lessons in the Dark

Hi Mary Ann; I'm four chapters in and am honestly lost for words. You write with such spirituality and beauty that I think some people would find your book life changing. The way you tell yours and Hadley's story is wonderful, the mix from light to dark in the narrative is compelling. I don't know what else to say without reading more. Superb.
RMA
Sea Spray and Stars

Thank you so much,...you don't know how much that means to my family...we really want to live and laugh again!!!

An important read from a Mother's heart. Those who have experienced any health problems,
especially where you think the world is passing you by, will strongly relate to this story. We hear about
things like autism in our society and frustrated parents, but maybe don't have the time to find out what
it's really about. I want to read more. I want to find out what happens to Hadley and the family.
I want to find out what God does in this situation.

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

I would give 6 stars for the book cover alone!

Maximum stars. On watch list. Will back when I can.

Randall
The STRIKERZ

An important read from a Mother's heart. Those who have experienced any health problems,
especially where you think the world is passing you by, will strongly relate to this story. We hear about
things like autism in our society and frustrated parents, but maybe don't have the time to find out what
it's really about. I want to read more. I want to find out what happens to Hadley and the family.
I want to find out what God does in this situation.

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

I would give 6 stars for the book cover alone!

Maximum stars. On watch list. Will back when I can.

Randall
The STRIKERZ

Hi Mary

I've just put Agent "H" on my bookshelf pure and simply because that's where it belongs.
Your work is thought provoking and highly informative as well as being sensitive.

Any chance you could have a look at my Motive Irrelevant? It isn't in the same leagure as yours but any comments would be great.

Regards

RB Ray

I am in awe of people going through this experience, which is unfortunately more and more common. I salute you for handling it as well as you can, and am amazed you found time to write! Your writing is well put together, literate and compelling, and the story touches the heart. Good luck with this!
-- Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Dear Mary Ann,

Thank you for reading and commenting on my book, Factual Faith. I really appreciate the time you took to do so and the positive comments.

I have also read your book and would like to return the favor.

Firstly, it is inspiring to see how God has been working in your family and how he uses each situation to convey his healing process to you. I have also been in situations where I had to rely on God's healing and to see it manifest in my life. I also feel that God wants us to know his Word in such a way that we carry it out in the way that He intended us to. For this reason I would like you to think about how Jesus healed people and also his command to his disciples (of which we are part) to go out and to heal people. The Bible tells us that we are made a new creation in Christ when we are born again. The Bible also tells us in

2Pe 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
2Pe 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

God has equipped us with "all things" - also the ability to command healing in the name of Jesus over those who are ill through Faith in Christ. This is confirmed by his command in

Mar 16:15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
Mar 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
Mar 16:17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
Mar 16:18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

also in Luke 10:

Luk 10:8 And into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you:
Luk 10:9 And heal the sick that are therein, and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you.

God has therefore made us new creations in Christ and we are now fellow-heirs of Jesus. As fellow-heirs, God the Father has equipped us with all things that also belongs to Jesus and told us how to go about healing the sick. We need to lay our hands on them and heal them through Faith in what God has provided to us in Christ. If we do as Jesus commanded us in his Word, we can also know that He will go with us and be with us when we obey him.

So often we ask God to heal the sick, when He has commanded us and equipped us to heal the sick and told us how to do it.

Just thought I would share that with you.

Continuing with my comment on your book:

You have a very enjoyable writing style and you kept my attention as I read through the chapters. I did however notice a few spelling mistakes as some of the other readers have pointed out and some that are probably missed by a spell checker. e.g. I hadn't "taped" into it in years" and using "than" instead of "then" among other.

Overall it is a very touching account of your experience in your family and how you have grown over the years, living with this condition. I wish you all the best in getting it published! High stars from me.

Blessings,

Jaco

Hi, Mary Ann,
I am reading some of your book and right away, there are some things that "jumped out" at me as a reader. On a positive note, the first thing is the pitch. I love it. But the title I'm not sure about. To me, it's a bit long and slightly confusing. I just wonder if something shorter will capture the potential readers interest with more ease.

The first paragraph. There are eleven sentences. Five begin with "It". Three, with "The". The first five sentences begin; It, the, it, the, the. I've been taught in writing to use "it" and "this" (which is used later), very sparingly. I think mainly because writing is better when you tell the reader what "it" is. The difference of: "It was a great beginning for two..." VS "The prosperous economy of the 1980's was a great beginning for two..." So, that's just an example of what I mean. I know I used "The" to begin, but I would remove some of the latter uses of "the", to make up for it.

I don't mean to be overly picky, but these issues with the mechanics of writing are the types of things agents will simply stop reading and not get past the first few paragraphs. A great story is one thing (and I think you clearly have that...) but common poor writing habits will immediately get in the way.
The second paragraph: "Bill, an engineer, sales representative had established himself in a partnership." IMO, this sentence is missing an "and". Maybe, "Bill, an engineer AND sales representative had established himself in a partnership." Otherwise, it sounds like you're saying, "Bill, an engineer, slash, sales representative.... but I don't see these two occupations naturally intertwined. As the sentence is, it sounds like there is going to be another reference. IE: "Bill, an engineer, sales representative, and (fill in the blank), had established himself in a partnership. Make sense?

One more paragraph and then I'll quit. It begins: "As life would have it, the years moved on...." Again, picky things, the mechanics of writing again, but none the less, I fee are important for tightening things up. So, two sentence begin with "The children..." Then, two sentences (in a row) begin with "We would..."

I hope to go deeper into the actual story as I believe it will have great merit. These "picky" things are issues that often go by the unquestioning reader, but more advanced readers and agents will not miss them.
That's all for now, Mary Ann. Please let me know what you think about my comments. If you want more, I will be happy to continue. Otherwise, I never want to give "unwanted" writing advice. ;o)
I think I shared with you, my experience working with autistic children in my earlier years. It was challenging, but extremely fulfilling.
~Joe

A very touching story! I was blessed by it!

Good book, I just love Agent H she is a beautiful women of God.;)

Lori S

Thank you Isoje,
I hope to start your book this week!!

six stars for this, I love your story, love your opening. I have rated six outstanding, six stars i mean.

Isoje David

Animals in Paradise

six stars for this, I love your story, love your opening. I have rated six outstanding, six stars i mean.

Isoje David

Animals in Paradise

Thanks Sharda, I appreciate your comments and will make note of them, thank you for your support!!

Hi Mary Ann,
a return read for your wonderful support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams.

This is a very moving, searingly honest account of a family's life with autism. I can see it being of fantastic use to families who have a child with this condition and who are going through the same traumas and issues that you and your family faced.
It is written in a simple and honest style that suits the subject matter and we can really identify with your experiences and emotions.
My only niggle was that the story is really that of you (mum) and daughter and when it veers away from that you lose some of the tension and pace that every book needs to keep the reader 'interested'. The first few paragraphs in Chp1 before you pick up your daughter are not necessary, plunge straight in from where you are worried about collecting her and hoping that this day will be different. That would be a much more powerful start. If you want to fit in the background, do this later in Chp2 or 3, but you probably don't need it anway, all we are interested in is your daughter and you anything else just pulls us away from the real story. If you make this change I think you are also more likely to find a publisher.
Hope that helps, other than that I had no issues with any of the writing.
A fascinating read for a very worthy cause, 6 stars from me.
all the best,
Sharda.

Hi Mary Ann,
a return read for your wonderful support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams.

This is a very moving, searingly honest account of a family's life with autism. I can see it being of fantastic use to families who have a child with this condition and who are going through the same traumas and issues that you and your family faced.
It is written in a simple and honest style that suits the subject matter and we can really identify with your experiences and emotions.
My only niggle was that the story is really that of you (mum) and daughter and when it veers away from that you lose some of the tension and pace that every book needs to keep the reader 'interested'. The first few paragraphs in Chp1 before you pick up your daughter are not necessary, plunge straight in from where you are worried about collecting her and hoping that this day will be different. That would be a much more powerful start. If you want to fit in the background, do this later in Chp2 or 3, but you probably don't need it anway, all we are interested in is your daughter and you anything else just pulls us away from the real story. If you make this change I think you are also more likely to find a publisher.
Hope that helps, other than that I had no issues with any of the writing.
A fascinating read for a very worthy cause, 6 stars from me.
all the best,
Sharda.

Hi Mary Ann,
I love the book and have rated it with six stars. I will put it on my bookshelf soon.

This book is utterly beautiful, it is inspiration in the most wonderful form, I have read the first chapter and intend to return back for more. The flow is touching and inspiring, you reached within, touched the depths of your sorrow and felt God's presence- it is in those times he carries you. I am glad you found God and brought him to the center of your lives....he is the center of our mind, body and spirit embrace it all. I am wishing you the sincerest luck with this. Upon reading all of your book will return to back.

Many Blessings sharing the sunshine Clare :)

This is a wonderful work and so inspiring, you were right about the crying, followed you on your journey with hope in my heart, truly a delight to read, all the best Karen Faking it in France.

I read the first eight chapters and I like your writing style. It has a definite flow and is pleasant to read while still holding your attention. God's grace is so amazing and he has taken you so far, what an amazing journey.
My wife is a teacher that works with special needs children including Autistic. It is a Christian School and though not huge it strives to meet the needs of it's special students. Thanks so much for sharing your story it helps us to see God is never off the job and he guides our steps when we let him. God Bless.
You have a great book here. Many stars Crayton

Beautifully crafted writing which flows smoothly. Your faith combined with autism is a potent mixture provoking many thoughts from all your readers, a story i'm glad you have told to the world of your special journey.
Many stars on the way. Will be going on my bookshelf.

Best wishes always

Your story is beautiful and I deeply admire you for all that you have done and how you have not let go of God.

Having autism in my extended family, I will happily support this book. Your story comes highly recommended from my sister, Faith Rose.

Mary Ann, chapter one hit me powerfully. Even while you're describing the years of flying mighty and high, there was an undercurrent in your writing foreshadowing a devastating situation and bam, you reveal the "cold afternoon in 1994."

I like your style of writing, it flows well and draws the reader into the deeper issues. Great chapter ending, too, letting me know that this book is about an intimate journey. You made me chuckle when you described the cell phones that had to be installed in the car (...are we thaaaat old already?) and you had me in tears at your describing Hadley's delighted countenance in contrast to yours. I look forward to reading on. Well done!
Donna
(No Kiss Good-bye)

Hello Mary Ann:

I read the first three chapters of Agent H and found your writing style to be absolutely delightful. Autism has been coming to light in recent years and you may encounter some competition in this genre; that being said, your book stands on its own.

What I particularly like about this book is that, while it centers on the theme of autism, it goes into deeper spiritual themes which transcend the autism and hence resonates with a lot of readers who may not necessarily be facing the same struggle.

There are a number of grammatical errors, and I would highly recommend that you continue to edit the book to clean these up.

1. One pattern that I noticed is that, when you have quotation marks, the ending punctuation (periods, commas, question marks, exclamation points) all needs to be inside of the quotation marks, not outside of them.

2. In Chapter One, you may want to start a new chapter when you get to the section beginning with the Proverbs 27:17 quotation.

3. There are some sections which are unbolded which have obviously been added later. Make sure the text format, whether bolded or unbolded, is consistent throughout the entire manuscript.

Blessings to you and may God use this book as a tremendous resource and source of encouragement to many families!

James

Oh, and I forgot to mention... your cover is perfect! I love it!
~Faith

Dear Mary Ann,

O wow! I am so glad to finally visit this wonderfully-told, inspirational, deeply important story. You have done an amazing job showing the Autism spectrum as it truly is, yet your hope and humor shine through brilliantly! I related to so much of your story; "groping in the dark while the rest of the world moved in usual normal fashion." Your opening provided such a remarkable contrast of the fast-paced yuppy lifestyle showered in expectations and rewards with an unexpected new path your family faced of "skimming the low tide."

This is a story that needs to be told...a story especially close to my heart. I look forward to reading more of this piece. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. Giving you many stars.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

It makes me feel so lucky that my children did not have anything like that. I don't know how I would handle it. However, you did so well with it. I like the writing style and your prose. I think it will do well and I give it five stars.

This is a very touching book and its written so well.
I don't know anything about autism and theres probably a lot of people out there who dont. (I think the British are the worst when it comes to illnesses.) This is a book they need to read. I have epilepsy and I know what its like when people dont see anything physically wrong with you and judge you by your appearance.
I think its wonderful that you can turn to your faith and get comfort in that, so many people cant do that and its such a shame when they have nothing at all, or even turn against God and blame him for what has happened to them.
A great book which will go far on the site. - by the way I think you have a little artist there, that book cover is great!.
Highly starred
Junetee
FOUR CORNERS. book one.The Rock Star..

Just finished the first chapter, I loved the way you said so much and so beautifully in your opening phrases. God does work in mysterious ways.
Look forward to reading more soon.
God bless you and your family,
Christine

Gracious me, what do i say dear Marry, speechless, incredibly well written. More than anything you are a super mother with strong faith.
Started with briefing with two matured educated people getting together, that gives idea of family situation of the childdren and father earning.
Then you explain your experiencing the womanhood of becoming mother. You continue explaining well and clearly, lovely then parenting experiences, the uneasy moment, then the facing the expenses. You write well, explained the topic of symptoms and causes with its dedical terms. a Great book. many stars rated.

A must read and had to be written; christianity and autism! what a combination...l am a christian, and have children with apergers syndrom...and in fact l also have the same condition...
l must back with 6 stars******
read SEASONS...

Very Creative and wonderfully written!
Amazing work.
I like the title very much.
best wishes.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look t my Christian pirate adventure Driving Winds, when you have time.

Mary Ann, congratulations to bare your soul. We need your views, your pain and to know your growth. It's a gief of God to endure.
It's not up to me to comment on your style other than saying that it reads easily; it flows and keeps me wanting to read more.
Six stars after four chapters and on my watchlist until room can be found on my bookshelf.
love
Brigitte
You will dance again!

Hey, I'm 24. Does she have a facebook? Does she enjoy reading? I want her to read "Crowded" in the Deep River High series. It's a Christian book about pretty intense stuff, though so I don't know if you want her reaidng it or not. You could have your son read it or you can buy it then write a review on "Perfect Forgiveness" I'm glad you explained how Asperger's is the same as Sutism but different because it still confuses me. I have Asperger's and yet I talk a lot, so That's why I've had trouble understanding it in the past and tonight it amazed me. I liked the "I ought to spank you" that you told the waiter as well. I would've been a lot meaner. I'm an extremely nice person but there are times when I'm not nice. I would've talked to the manager or not ever go to the restaurant again or something. I get my feelings hurt very easily so I wonder, what if she was hurt internally all those times?