Book Jacket

 

rank 3279
word count 12379
date submitted 01.03.2012
date updated 15.09.2013
genres: Romance, Non-fiction, Comedy
classification: universal
incomplete

How To Meet Women In Bars

John Harold McCoy

A revolutionary (yes, revolutionary) new technique for meeting women in bars. Guaranteed or your money back (*see limitations).

 

Grab a shower and a shave, slick back your hair, throw on your cool duds, jump in the car and head for the nearest watering hole. You'll never go home alone again.


*Limitations
(no way in hell you're getting your money back)

P.S,
It's a bar joke book. Looks pretty dumb without the illustrations. The last chapters are for word count only—not in the printed book. Don't use your shelf space for it. It ain't goin' nowhere. It's just for fun :)

 
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tags

comedy, dating, funny, humor, meeting people, self help

on 1 watchlists

21 comments

 

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Chapters

8

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HI.

MY NAME IS:

______________________

 

I'M A NICE GUY.

 

MY MOTHER RAISED ME RIGHT.

 

I HAVE NO BAD HABITS TO SPEAK OF.

 

CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?

Chapters

8

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sensual elle wrote 141 days ago

Worked on me!

Yes, I know the author said not to back it, but it's fun and I needed a break.

elle
Diary of a Bad Housewife.

DJ-Gargoyle Chronicles wrote 195 days ago

How to Meet Women in Bars – Review – Chapters 1 – 13

I read your instructions and came back with a wife, 3 kids and a dog. The dog is cute, a Tibetan Spaniel… Google it. I particularly like the change of inflection in chapter four and the droll tone of chapter six. Chapter seven was a little tedious, but I was back on board by the end of chapter 9. The Monty-Pythonesque comeduy of chapter 13 was a surprise, so I implore all to do the non-Autonomy thing and persist until then.

This would make a good coaster in a bar. Something to read between slugs.

:DJ

PS Brillantly edited BTW, but you will do someone out of a job.

vee8 wrote 206 days ago

Well, the proof reader is going to sweat buckets over this! If only I were still single, I could buy this book, use it as my Bible, find loads of women and be forever in your debt!

I assume no guarantee is given nor implied?

neilmacvicar wrote 214 days ago

Sounds daft so naturally I'll have a read because daft is my middle name.

E G Barker wrote 221 days ago

Oh, very good. On my shelf for your cheek. This would sell. X

Bill Scott wrote 301 days ago

John,

I approached a woman in a bar, smiled and said, "This page is not in the book. It is included for word count only."
She immediately got hot in her pants, you know, down there. Long story short, now it burns when I pee. Did I read the sentences wrong?

Bill

evermoore wrote 401 days ago

Know what's funny, John? If you diiiiiiiiiid publish this...I can imagine tons of people buying it for their single friends as a joke gift.

You could be a rich man. (Grins)

Perdu Shoshanna wrote 447 days ago

You are incorrigible! :o)

Sneaky Long wrote 532 days ago

Silly.

Lenny Banks wrote 627 days ago

Hi John , I read chapters 6.7.8 and 11. Ha Ha Ha Ha, I have to say, this is hillarious, I was first hooked by the tile and I wasn;t dissapointed. I think I will have to go out and point out your view point to some women. Seriously, It is well written and humours, this is a hard combination these days. Good luck with this I am sure it is going to do very well.

Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At The Rock
If you can find time I would appreciate a return read, Thanks.

Tod Schneider wrote 672 days ago

Way too deep!
Best of luck with this!
If you have any interest in children's literature, you are very much invited to take a look at my novel, The Lost Wink.
Thanks,
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Steve Games wrote 693 days ago

How To Meet Women In Bars
by
John Harold McCoy

The HBD Review:

This book needs to be thrust to the editpr's desk without further hesitation. It is imperative that Harper Collins wrap its collective corporate mind around the invaluable treasurechest their cybenetic contribution has become. Additionally, the pressure of having two books already reach the desk has placed a burden upon Mr. McCoy that can only be imagined by Paul Freeman. Upon "reading" the...collection of thoughts...HBD realized the special nature with which this review must be handled. The fact that his pitch has a disclaimer indicating no expectation for the book to go anywhere signals just the opposite to keen observers of those on the edge. Anyone who'd like to wish the author well may write to him at:
St Petersburg Behavioral Hlthc
(727) 823-4248
433 4th St N, St Petersburg, FL
...or go during visiting hours.

But right now the author looks exactly like Julius Caesar.

HBD


stoatsnest wrote 748 days ago

Repetitive.

riantorr wrote 753 days ago

If you just put your name on the cover in black it will be more readable.

Regards,
RianTorr
New London Masquerade

Groaner wrote 775 days ago

May I comment on your cover, John? Well, I will anyway.


Your title is too big and your name is too small. It should be the other way around!



The title has to be big enough to be read from a distance in dimly lit rooms, Tony. That's the whole idea.

jlsimpson wrote 775 days ago

Ha ha ha this is great.

Fred Le Grand wrote 776 days ago

Hmm...
It's a crazy world and any way you can skin it good for me.

Some might suggest that sterotyping women isn't good.

An amusing read!

Tonia Marlowe wrote 776 days ago

May I comment on your cover, John? Well, I will anyway.


Your title is too big and your name is too small. It should be the other way around!


torkl wrote 777 days ago

I guess this text is just copied to reach the lower limit of word count or?

Atieno wrote 777 days ago

Hi, failed to understand why chapter one has been repeated severally and why chapter 12 too is going that way? It a put off already having to open a chapter just to read the same thing over and over again. Maybe that is your real intention!!
I would gladly turn the pages if It was not the same stuff.
Josphine
Notime goes bye

Tonia Marlowe wrote 777 days ago

I'm a woman. Will this technique work for me? No, no. I'm really not like THAT!!!

:-)

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