Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames

Sue,

This is a very original idea and I love the concept of it. It's great that you cover so many different fairy tales in one book too - as opposed to just focusing on one. Whilst I was reading, I found myself re-living the familiar stories of my childhood and it was interesting and enjoyable to experience them again through the eyes of an adult - but from a different point of view. Which I guess was part of your aim and is also one of the key strengths of the overall collection.
I particularly like the tone of voice and the way you portray events from one character's point of view - and done with lashings of humour and a good dash of irony. The whole read comes across as polished and publish ready to me. I love the cover too and can definitely see this selling well as a hardback in bookstores.

I note the point Gareth made about a series of animations. I totally agree, I can see this working very for television, either Wallace & Gromit style for adults or even traditional cartoon for the YA market too. In short, very marketable.

High stars and WL'd

All the best of luck
Goliath Stokes

Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames is an absolutely brilliant and original work, which is not something easily said about re-written classics. It seems quite vogue these days to do things like add zombies into Bronte’s work, but I’ve never really enjoyed it. Author Sue Moorhouse however has come up with a clever way to change the tales we all know well, by writing from the (always comical) point of view of some of the older and more minor characters from classic literature. I dare say I was laughing out loud quite a few times at their revelations. This is a perfect summer vacation type of read, light fare well-written and perfectly crafted. I don’t foresee any obstacles to its success.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Sue,

I think this is the most marketable idea I've come across on Authonomy. I particularly like that you've identified your target audience. But surely this is crying out for a more graphic presentation. If you haven't seen it, take a look at Zane Stumpo's YouTube animation - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwWLPEpBSis

You may think I'm a bit of a nut (and you're probably right) but I think you should create 13 five minute animations and pitch to a few television companies. A Channel 4 evening time slot would be a good one. The narrative and dialogue in your short stories would work perfectly. The downside of this idea is that the animations take a long time to complete. Zane is pretty much a genius and it took him a few months to do his Caterpillar vid. The software is available out there but you could team up with some sort of animation whizz kid. I think you'd have a real success here.

Anyway, it's something for you to think about. Your stories are great and worth more than the novelty Christmas book market.

Gareth

Broomsticks, walking sticks, and Zimmer frames:

I just read three of your stories because I was completely hooked by your pitch. I love the concept and I bet you had great fun writing these. I wish I’d thought of this.

Some lines that really tickled my fancy:

Snow White: Great characterization of the wicked queen:

- ‘She had acne too. Not a problem I’ve had, let me assure you’ – LOL
- ‘You hear such alarmist reports about facelifts and even good old botox, but you only have to look at me to see what can be achieved’ – LMAO
- ‘And to find her living in a household of circus rejects’ – LOL
- ‘But a young girl living with seven men, however small they are …’ – Priceless.

But the Planning Office had me doubled up. Perfect characterization. I LMFAO at everything on the page – masterful.

The Musicians: Brilliant imagery.

In fact, I couldn’t stop chuckling at all the ones I read. I’ll give you 10/10 for giving me such a bloody good tummy-laugh. And you can count on me coming back. I have to finish these. LOL

Highly starred.

Mick

BROOMSTICKS, WALKING STICKS AND ZIMMER FRAMES – S.MOORHOUSE
I was intrigued by your synopsis as I do like collections of shorter stories, it also reminded me of ‘Hairy Tales and Nursery Crimes’, a nursery parody book I read when I was younger.
Head to head: I really enjoyed how matter-of-fact the witch was with all the details relating to her untimely end. It took me a little while before I cottoned on to the original fairy tale, but when I did it made your writing even better. Your writing style in this chapter reminded me of U.A Fanthorpe’s poem ‘Not my Best Side’. It is always good to get both sides of the story.

I’m looking forward to reading more in my spare time, though I may abstain from reading in public as so far you have made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion!

JM

Hi Sue,

So enjoyed the first 3 stories. Had me laughing out loud in some parts. I was hooked at the first paragraph. Wish I had a fairy godmother like Ella's......Am definitely going to buy a copy of this book for myself and for my local library.....The locals will love it....Oops forgot to say the title of the book is so quirky....

Thank you
Kay

Sue, what an ingenious idea. I am loving these stories. All the original tales had a moral or social undercurrent and you have just updated this. Sheer brilliance. Good luck with the Ed
Sheena

The Popish Plot &
Acts of Indulgence

Great fun. Some laughs in here. Nice book and easy read. On my shelf.
Daisy

This is so clever! I smiled through the first three stories. With Snow White, I kept thinking, “Eeek, imagine if she were someone’s mother in law!” The Planning Officer was just genius and The Fairy Godmother, so sweet. I like that you kept the general feel to each story--the scheming feel in Snow White, the pushy feel of B.B. Woolf, Esq. and the stubbornness of the Bacon family, and the sweetness in The Fairy Godmother. I’ll keep on reading, just wanted drop in and congratulate you. No wonder your book has come this far!
L-
EBO

Hahaha!
Made me laugh out loud.
The pigs were my favourite.
Thank you so much.

I'm sure there's always room for another take on the old fairytale routine. No doubt there is originality in your versions but I'm not a great fan of remakes. I also found the first person voice a bit tiresome after the first 4 chapters and wonder if more variation in the telling/teller might be a good idea. Having come across as all grumpy, may I say you write with style and relative ease and I wish you every success with it.
Best wishes
Stewart
Fetishes and Foibles

Very clever idea, great storyline. I really enjoyed reading your book. The characters come to life and the prose is perfect for your concept. I wish you all the best, good luck- I also gave you a high rating, you deserve it!

Sue,

How clever! I've always been a fan of fractured fairytales and I'm loving your twist on these old classics. I love how you give these little hints throughout the story that help me figure out who the speaker is - it's fun playing detective and picking up on all the clues. I am really enjoying these short stories and look forward to reading the next chapter. You have a unique voice and I'm confident that others will get a kick out of your humor as well. Great job!

Tiffany

Well done Sue - brilliant ideas.
I've read the first 3 so far and found them engaging, easy to read, amusing and in parts utterly brilliant. I like The Planning Officer best so far - genius!
You write in a way that conjures up visual images in the reader's mind, and i can easily hear the voices, tones and emotions of the characters.
I also really like that they are short - something you can easily pick up, enjoy, and put down again.
Lisa Abraham
Great big Safari Park Stories

Hey Sue,

Thought I'd take a look at another of your stories. Just read the Planning Officer. "And that's just the sister" caught me off guard and I was laughing a lot. I think it's the fourth story I've read and so far it's my favourite. The fact that it is all one-sided is very cleverly done.

John

I think this is a great concept and you do it very well, with excellent prose. I love satire. My favourite author is Jonathan Swift and the only sci-fi writer I can be bothered with is Terry Pratchett.
My only suggestion from a purely publishing point of view is that you might consider teaming up with an illustrator - humorous, of course. From the success enjoyed by Horrible Histories I would have thought the sky's your limit.
Leslie Rocker

wow ... read it cover to cover and i loved it.. i enjoyed the twist on snow white as well as each one i loved the whole comparing pot to catnip that was sooo funny!!! i really enjoyed every word of this and i hope you will have more like this one.. i love fairy tales magic, sorcers you name it. the chapter of gets my goat was great, because we can relate to it as a child we all knew the cranky old man whts his name, and as we had gotten older yelling screaming children well who doesn't deal with that? even if you don't have kids, theres always the creepy kid who stares at you or the loud kid

Wow i love the pitch on this one i will have to read it as soon as i can i wished i would have seen it ealier this evening cuz i read a lot well inbetween kids n housework and writing this one looks like i'll love it i will re comment once i read some of it ok?

Sue,

I have always wondered the perspectives of the characters you chose to exalt. It's hilarious! What wit! I love the concept and the expression. The evil step mother from Snow White especially drew me in. I've always wondered about her story even when I was a little girl and Snow White was new to me. I certainly see this published and sold out during those holiday book seasons. If you haven't already, please publish it. High stars! Take care.

#1 I'm so excited for you!!! I knew it'd get there. Thanks for your comment on my profile, I haven't been on here for a while.
I'm looking forward to reading your HarperCollins review. I have no doubt they'll enjoy it as much as everybody else has.
Need to find something else excellent to fill your space on my shelf now.
Exciting times! :D

Hi Sue

This is a refreshingly great take on classic fairytales. It’s fun to try and figure out which tale each is based on as you’re reading. Loved Chicken Licken & Head to Head best. Making the big bad wolf a planning officer in ‘The 3 little pigs’ reimagining is a stroke of genius.

Laugh a minute funny. Fun and playful and beautifully written.

Tornbridge
The Washington Adventure

Hi Sue, I still love 'It Gets my Goat' the best. The opening is hilarious no matter how many times I read it. Back on my shelf.
Lin

This is fantastic! (and I am an incredibly picky reader) I love that you're rethinking fairy tales for older characters! That's something I'm toying with myself in my novel, Terrible Lightness (Hansel and Gretel)
I've only read Snow White so far, but you're on my shelf, for sure. Very entertaining!

WOW what a first chapter this is. This is a very creative, uniquely written work which entrances and captures its audience from the start. I love this concept and the idea that goes behind it. I thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter and will read on soon here. I think it has great flow to it and it definitely caught my attention. I know this will do well but still wish you good luck. Absolutely brilliant writing here. Loved it and thanks for sharing it with us. HIGH STARS from me!

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me
-Surviving Manic Depression-My Story & The Real Truth on Managing It

HI Sue:
What a wonderful take on old favorites. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Well done and high stars!
Good luck on the ed's desk!
MC
Exposed

Hi Sue,

Your versions of events made me laugh and this is always a good thing. Having said that, they're also a bit dark - just as most fairytales, so you kept up the style... I bet it was fun to write them all!
Also, they are snappy, easy to read, entertaining and memorable. I like this kind of humour in any case and I actually did laugh out loud. I already have my personal favourite, too, and it's got to be Snow White (loved seven dwarves line and how the princess became a goth at some point - awesome!) High rating.

I love this collection. I have to say, I teach high school english to students with behavior issues, most who are non-readers, and I firmly believe they would love this book and I plan to introduce them to these stories! Well done. This will definitely find a place on my shelf!
Kate

Hi Sue,

This is simply delightful writing. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I read through Chapter 3. Your perspective is unique and story telling is great. I'm sure others have raved about your book and I am only reinforcing what they've written. Really nice piece of work. Headed to the ED desk for sure. Thanks for sharing.

High stars and watch list. I will come back for more. Didn't notice any nit-pics and can't suggest anything that might improve this.

Good luck

Sneaky Long
"Trophy Wives"

This is different. I've seen variations on classic fairy tales before, but these are very new perspectives. Rather short, and more like a chosen character's memory or summary of the story than actual retellings, but nonetheless interesting. I really like dark stories, so "Snow White" and "Head to Head" were my favorites. I can imagine, in a variation of "Snow White", the Queen surviving being chased by dwarves and then, so obsessed with eternal youth, killing herself to know forever only her youthful face. I can absolutely see that. In "Head to Head", the witch comparing herself to the creatures invented to make children behave or keep them from wandering off was clever. Although that's no the lesson of "Hansel and Gretel", the witch may well see herself as that. I happen to like many of those monster stories too.

The other stories were good, although I didn't really get what the Pied Piper story was trying to do. As for the last one, "The Musicians", I remember having an old cartoon about a group of animals who were traveling together to Bremen to become musicians. I had no idea it was based on a Grimm tale. At the end of the cartoon, the animals chased a gang of robbers from their house and lived there, playing music for and with each other. The ending where they became drug dealers, I didn't like. Overall, though, this book was enjoyable. You might want to add in your long pitch, though, that the chapters after 7 are repetitions.

Fun stories with new modern twisting. I enjoy the read I really like your sentences.

I love this story of Cinderella the best. You have explored the story from a unique angle - a doddery old lady who can't remember anything and yet still has the power of magic. Her voice really shines through, although I think the final paragraph is unnecessary. It might be better to echo the sentiments at the beginning. 'I hear the prince and Ella talking although they don't know i'm listening..." finish with something that gets the old lady out of the rodent-infested old age home.
The only disappointment with this story is that you use a similar voice to the Queen in the Snow White story which I find a much harder voice to believe. I hear them talking about me, gossiping, etc were themes from the snow white story, but I don't believe you can or should do that twice otherwise your readers will get bored. If I were doing the story of snow white I would probably use the mirror on the wall as an internet-like tool and have the Queen learn of the rumours about her that way. Perhaps these rumours will eventually turn her mad, after all you hear about people turned mad from being too plugged-in to social networking. I don't believe she would sound as pathetic as you have made her out in this first story.
The story of Mr Bacon is just pure fun and I was interested to read the modernization details.
These make great bedtime stories so I will continue reading.

This sounds amazing. I cannot wait to have the time to sit down and read.
-Bethany

This sounds amazing. I cannot wait to have the time to sit down and read.
-Bethany

This is a great concept, dragging fairy tales by the scruff of the neck into the 21st Century.
High stars from me!
Nik

Good luck!

Only read the first two stories so far. Really liked the first, poetical, good concept, I always like the evil queen better than the sickly Snow white. The second is even better, my eyebrows twitched in amusement from the beginning. By the end they were dancing about over my forehead. Very enjoyable. Thank you.

Read The Planning Officer. Very funny. Tightly written. Not a tale so much as the blog.

Here's my thought. (You've read a few of my chapters and know how they go. Each to his or her own narration preferences.) One is familiar with the Three Pigs, knows the logic, and has read its various ends. Yours is much bigger than that. Throws in a bucketful of social commentary. Creates a social bestiary. And therefore leaves a feeling of wanting more of the middle parts:

Seeing a bit of the internal dynamic between the planning officer and colleagues who think he's losing his grip; there are the various Bacons; there is the social polarity between a family from the trailer park and the petit-bourgeois official who is helpless in spite of his mandate and his professional backing, which refers to a long history in the Wolff-Bacon relationship.

All of which one must read into the tale. If these things were developed with a line here and there, one would get more than a faithful reproduction of a familiar tale. One would also get a very funny commentary about life for the most ordinary people in the small towns in Britain. A tale, yes, and yet a broader, richer fiction.

I say this, though I remember with some humour a woman who had written a piece of poetry about 10 lines in length. She showed it to a professional poet who told her that each line would work better as the first line in a four line verse. She went to work on it and produced a ten verse poem. She showed it to another professional poet who said that it was very nice, but it seemed too much, and wouldn't it work better if the first line of each verse were kept and the rest scrapped to create a shorter piece. There's no pleasing everyone. But I - I alone? - want more of the characters, of your writing.

ha ha i love that chronic verbal diarrea lol thats me too. my aunt said im the only person she knows that can talk non-stop from ohio to florida (an 18 hour drive)

I love it !!! I love how you told the story from the pov of the evil queen. awesome story i can't wait to read what else you wrote.

Sue,

This is a very original idea and I love the concept of it. It's great that you cover so many different fairy tales in one book too - as opposed to just focusing on one. Whilst I was reading, I found myself re-living the familiar stories of my childhood and it was interesting and enjoyable to experience them again through the eyes of an adult - but from a different point of view. Which I guess was part of your aim and is also one of the key strengths of the overall collection.
I particularly like the tone of voice and the way you portray events from one character's point of view - and done with lashings of humour and a good dash of irony. The whole read comes across as polished and publish ready to me. I love the cover too and can definitely see this selling well as a hardback in bookstores.

I note the point Gareth made about a series of animations. I totally agree, I can see this working very for television, either Wallace & Gromit style for adults or even traditional cartoon for the YA market too. In short, very marketable.

High stars and WL'd

All the best of luck
Goliath Stokes

I love this book. I may give it to my grandchildren. I have always thought about doing a book from one of the older characters, but necver go around toit. Now I don't have to do it. Well written and timely. Five stars.

I love this book. I may give it to my grandchildren. I have always thought about doing a book from one of the older characters, but necver go around toit. Now I don't have to do it. Well written and timely. Five stars.

Monologues are not the easiest of things to get right. They sometimes ramble or miss important information out, but I think you got it pretty wall right. I loved the twist on the old fairy stories and as I have backed you.

I can't put this down at the minute and I can't decide which story I like best so I'll love them all equally. You've had me howling with laughter which isn't an easy task.
There's something here for everybody and I love anticipating that moment, where the penny drops and you recognise the fairytale.
You have a brilliant imagination and deliver it with impeccable style and wit.
Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames will be sitting on my bookshelf until it reaches the editors desk.
It's the work of a genius.
Pure comedy gold.

Halley H Halford.

I'm going to make a couple of assumptions before making my comments. Your rank is very good and going up, and you may not be in the market for any comments that, aside from complementing your work, asks a couple of questions meant to be constructive. Also, Authonomy is a workshop for writers, so I assume anyone on Authonomy, whether he or she is ranked 1 or 5500, is on the lookout for anything that might give a different view of the work and possibly to improvement. Is there one published writer who hasn't looked at a published work and wish it back into his or her hands for further editing?

I've read your first tale, and it's my firm intention to read the others. Since they are separate tales, I think that each will require an entirely distinct set of comments.

I like your style. It is crisp, and gets the reader very quickly to surprising conclusions about the character. You know how to deliver a joke. Cynical and unsparing.

I wondered about the overall design. You begin intriguingly, and spend several paragraphs in an absurdly langorous monologue by a dead witch. My wish - and I'm no witch expert - was to see the narrator direct some comments away from her antagonists and towards herself. It seems that there is nothing that this witch won't eat or do, but there is a defensive shield that keeps the reader (and her) away from the interior ironic dimension. It seems, in short, that there is more room for play than your playful narrative offers. Then, you arrive at the real offenders, Hansel and Gretel. You become quite literal with them. You stay close to the original tale, and don't shed light on them - who were they that they went beyond all the other vandals to destroy her. We gave a sympathetic view of the two in the original tale, but your tale intends to turn the tables and show them to us from her oddly complacent and even encouraging perspective. I thought, therefore, that you could have gone more deeply - without losing your crisp pace - into her dealings with them that turned out so badly for her. And then there is the post-death business of the investigation, and her suspicion of mellowing. What became of Hansel and Gretel. Did they get off scot-free. Did she aid their escape, their defense out of grandparental pride? And then the witch speaks of herself as mellowing, and not turning into a nice old lady. What is it about witches that permit a return from being minced? Or are her wishes a joke she tells on herself: if I wasn't in a pie, if I could start over again, I'd still not be any better and likely would be a whole lot worse than I was.

Feel free to curse me if I'm missing something obvious.

I read chapter 10 on Ella and the ball with the prince. It is interesting as fairy grandmother slips into her memory losses.

Prince is trying the glass shoe on and Ella is waiting in her rags, she is ashamed and fairy grandmother says: “Well, if he is going to marry her, there are times he will see her worse.” That made me laugh.
Your story is very imaginative and from the unusual point of view, making it very unique.

Good luck with it and hope you will return the read of Return to Eternity,
Alexandra Mahanaim

Good luck with this. It's brilliant!

Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames-
Sue, I must say I absolutely loved the stories. I didn't get through them all, but I'll definitely come back. What can I say? These are well thought out and you really capture the essence of each character. I love the creativity, and the different points of view. Of course, all baddies were framed, the world is so unjust... I was constantly chuckling. High stars and I'll see what I can do to get you one my backing list.
Cindy
CADreilling the Line Beginnings

Hi Sue,

I so enjoyed all the tales you uploaded here. Your writing is smooth and confident, and you use your "voices" extremely well. Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames is an excellent show case of your abilities, as you move from the voice of the decapitated witch of Hansel and Gretel to Ella's Fairy Godmother, then on to that of the Planning Officer, and so on. I really loved the idea of Snow White's step mother writing a blog post! She is such a powerful character, haunting most children long after they first encounter her. Your portrayal of her here effectively combines magic realism with humour, making the tale at once poignant and funny to read.

Yours is a book I'm happy to have on my shelf. All best wishes,

Annette

Hi Sue,

Thoroughly enjoyed these stories. I can imagine them as a series of monologues in the theatre. You're an accomplished, confident writer; incredibly easy to read and your ideas are fully rounded and beautifully executed.

Really looking forward to see where these stories end up. Will it be on TV, as suggested by Gareth N, below? Or in our bookshops?

All the very best of luck,

Sally
The Psychic Detective Agency

What a great laugh I have had reading some of your stories. This is such an original idea, I wish I'd thought of it ;)

You have a wonderful sense of humour and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Sorry there isn't much in the way of criticism I can offer you, all appeared pretty well polished to me. I noticed you have it on amazon ... I'm sure it will do very well, good luck with it. :)

Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames has spent some time on my watch list. Now that I have finally got around to reading it, it is on my shelf. This is a very clever and well written book. It is also a fun read. High stars and best wishes, Olive

Broomsticks, Walking Sticks and Zimmer Frames

Excellent, clever and witty. I enjoyed reading your book. It does help if have read the original fairy tale to get the full impact, perfect for the older readers.

Highly starred.

One minor typo in chapter 4:
‘Listen, darlin’, ‘I said.
Should be
‘Listen, darlin’,’ I said.

Charles Knightley
The Secret of Netley Abbey

Sue, I absolutely love your take on the old fairy tales. A fine, consistent sense of humour and a natural ear for speech rhythms - these would make wonderful comic monologues. You could think about recording one or two for Youtube... best of luck with this book going up and up like a witch's broomstick. High stars from me - Frances.

Not since Dahl's Revolting Rhymes have I enjoyed a children's book of twisted tales so much. Clever, punchy prose, great characterisation, zinging one-liners - that just keep coming - and truly terrific pacing from the very first page.

Most of all, I loved the author's energy and optimism that bubbles furiously just beneath the book's sometimes wicked surface. Kids (and their jaded parents) will lap this up; and rightfully so.

Highly recommended.

David James Kane
The Scattersmith