Discoredia

I've read ten chapters, and I've enjoyed them thoroughly. Your opening grabbed me by the short hairs, drawing me into a story that I might not have otherwise cared to read. I don't really care for this rave stuff and the celebration of guys who play musicians' recorded music as artists themselves. Even if they might possibly be able to toss around a few rhymes themselves. I never understood it. However, I'm enjoying your story. Mr. Woodrose is easily one of the meanest characters I've had the sickening pleasure to run across. And the drug Pandemonium is as evil as Stephen King's "Captain Trips" disease in THE STAND.

Chapter 10 is ballsey on your part. The texting dialogue is something I haven't seen before in a novel, yet it's a part of modern culture. (Another thing I don't understand, though, so it was a bit hard to read for me.)

I'll continue to read this because according to your long pitch, I don't know how long I have to be able to do so.

Excellent!

This has such an explosive and fast-paced first chapter that it sucked me in straight away. It reminded me of the film Blade. I could picture the scene: the thumping music, the dancing, the people off their heads. And in the middle of it all this lone character who goes absolutely wild!

With the second chapter I was still interested, I wanted to know what happened in the aftermath of the first chapter and start getting to know the characters.

Third chapter and my interest waned a little. Only because of the excitement of the first two, the third was a little more calm! And you can't have all action and no plot, can you?!

The characters are good; all the little details, dialogue and inner thoughts. It all feels very "English" with the references and turns of phrase which I like; it's something you can relate to.

I've read up to chapter nine and the only thing I want to know is where everybody from chapters one and two went?

I've had this on my shelf for a while and am keeping it there till it reaches the desk. I want to read it all but I'm going to hold out till it's in print, which I really believe it deserves to be.

Best of luck! Backed and starred.

Just finished this, James. Have to say I put aside my critical brain at around C24 and just went with the flow. Not a horror fan per se ... after sampling your first chapter and seeing the complete book was uploaded I had to continue.

Terrifying and true to it's name - horrific - in places. The scenes in the club as the whole thing takes off, are cleverly portrayed and I take my hat off to you, in the sense of your ability, through your story-telling, to make me feel sick to my stomach - shades of James Herbert in these scenes, I feel. At one point I almost stopped reading but I was intrigued by the sub-plot and I can see more books being born from it.

For me the violence and macabre happenings could have been less, I can only read so much gory detail but I suppose for some, there won't be enough! But I liked the aftermath of the mayhem and your story took me into new realms. The last chapter particularly interesting :)

Overall, James an excellent piece of fiction, which I will be shelving soonish (prob end of June). In the meantime have some starlight.

And thanks.

Mick

First three chapters flew by for me. Good writing, liked the internal dialogue Wayne had with himself. It drops its hooks and keeps you wanting to know more; what was/is the drug? Is now festering in other users, what has happened to Wayne? I particularly liked the title and the short synopsis is really well written, something in my opinion harder to do than the hard yards of writing the book in the first place.

Certainly one to continue with and if I can work out how, I'll stick it on my shelf. Too early to really rate but a great start.

Regards,

Joe.

This is a good read for the male reader. I enjoyed reading HarperCollins review. However, I will have a look at your other books....
Ermine

Hi
The review is very good and positive.
Well done and i look forward to picking the book up in my local store.
From
John Stearn
Author of Derilium and the work in progress 'Infected'

Hello, James
Thank you so much for sharing the ED comment.
I think it is positive overall as clearly they were impressed with the story idea and your writing style.
(I know I gave you a hard time about some punct. issues but clearly that was not an issue in the end !).

You have achieved the hardest part - that of making the reader care what happens to your characters.
Your pace, characterisations and dialogue are all top-notch.
I think the suggestions are reasonable in terms of restructuring but I can also imagine how that may seem at this juncture a huge task.
I am in the same boat based on some recent comments which I am taking note of; I cannot seem to find the energy to tackle the task, but I know when I do, I will have a better idea of the direction I need to take.

You now know for certain your book has potential which is very thrilling.
I think getting these reviews gives us a taste of the reality of publishing today and considering the optimistic feedback from HC, you should not be discouraged

I sincerely hope you keep working on this project and look forward to seeing the next stage.
Best wishes.
Jane Mauret
I CAN LAUGH - NOW!

I just finished the first chapter and I'm loving it. I love how you were so detailed about the music and environment, it was like I was hearing Techno while reading it. I love how the effect of the pill reminded me of the NZT pill in the movie "Limitless" but with more brutal violence. I can't wait to read more.

I really enjoyed this thank you

A very interesting premise. I read the opening few chapters, and will certainly read the rest. I liked the build up in the first chapter and the contrasting change of pace in the next ones. After the opening scenes, I want to find out more, which is always a good sign.

Glad you made it to the editor desk! I was very fond of this story and kept it backed until you made it. Looking foward to reading the Harper review and see if they make you an offer. This is an awesome story of beginning to end and I'm happy i found it on here. Congrats!

Excellent opening! Your descriptions and characterization are great; I felt like I was right there as everything was happening.

Great job at introducing conflict right off the bat, too. Your writing style is tight and clean and a pleasure to read.

I've only read two chapters so far, but I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this as time permits.

Well done on getting your medal. That speaks for volumes.
Brian.

Hi
Congratulations on being selected for review.
From
John Stearn

Hey I'm sure you've already fixed this but i'll say it nonetheless...
sometimes you type MC, sometimes M.C and sometimes M.C. - it might be easier to spell out emcee each time and then you don't need to worry about dots

other than that... freaking creepy read and i thoroughly enjoyed the few chapters I read. I'm glad i chose to wait to Halloween! *shudders*
no wonder you're in the top

cheers,
Jaclyn
It Never Happened

While this is not my taste, I can still clearly see your writing talent. I agree with others who have mentioned that the reader is thrown into the scene, almost breathing the same oxygen as the MC; this is not small talent & I would think pretty much a requisite for this genre.

I am not going to comment on the ins and outs primarily because it is not my type of read, but I will bring up something. You use HAD a lot and often could remove or replace. You have this great skill with short, sharp almost dagger-like sentences but then you’ll get into the HAD this and HAD that, it takes away some of the edge, the dirt.

Good luck.

Ah, back in the day.....
Only had time to read the intro, but it reads like a James Herbert novel written in stream-of-E'd-up-waffle. Which can only be a good thing.
As an old cheesy quaver, I'll happily give this a spin on my shelf.

OMG! Just read the first chap and MY adrenalin is pumping, never mind your MC. Hectic. Definitely on my watchlist to be read later. WOW! Your MS pumps with a sick perverted life I hope never to live but am utterly fascinated by.

Got your message and put on my shelf. Haven't had a chance to read yet but will try soon, but looks like you'll make it to the desk before I do :(

Upon finishing your novel I was giving consideration to removing it from my shelf yet, as I type, I see that you are so near your goal, and will maintain my support for the duration.

Your work draws upon many classic themes yet disguises them under a cloak of contemporary culture. As Woodrose says, he is "the vampire, the demon, the wendigo" of legend. The drawing of energies reminds me of an old movie "Lifeforce" have you seen that I wonder? And the mind control is reminiscent of Carrion Comfort.

Yet we all have our influences, 'tis no crime, and I would not wish to suggest that this is un-original or derivative. An excellent addition to the horror genre and worthy of publication.

Sir T.

Are you cutting this down from complete at the end of the month? If you are then anyone who doesn't take the opportunity of a full read is totally missing out.

This is as near to a shop bought novel as I've read on here. My only gripe is that the characters from chaps 1 and 2 don't seem to resurface. It isn't a big deal but as I was waiting for them to crop up again it did detract a bit but I did wonder if the crucified guy was Wayne? If it is this could possibly be clearer.

Hang on to the end of the month, this is much deserving of the Editors Critique.

The opening (which is thus far all I've read) is brutal in a most queasingly, pleasant way. As like a train wreck, the strong voice of this story grabs one by the hair and forces your head to watch - and you do so, because you're so hopelessly fascinated by the destruction. Like a train wreck, this novel has an underlying structure of intelligence and morality that make this novel deserving of its stance on the desk.

Thank you. You have me hooked, as they say, and I will be returning for more.

C. E. Frizzell,
Looking Forward to Joining You, Finally

Deserving of your place on the desk I have been reading this over the past few weeks. The initial dream section I could take or leave but this is redeemed later when Shelley meets the crucified Painter. There are some interesting philosphical questions hinted at here that show an intelligence beyond the blood and guts elements. All in all it will be intriguing to see what a HC ED makes of this. I'm not sure about commercial viability but as a cult paperback from a small press I see it as having a place.

RIF

Excellent. Amazing. Raw. Powerful. I could repeat a whole thesaurus of compliments and I'm only half way through. 6 stars for a wicked storyline.

Messed up! But really well-told messed up-edness! lol Loved the dark and graphic nature of chapter 1. Great voice and usage of metaphores and imagery. It's not my usual kind of book but you have done enough in what I read to catch my interest and keep me hooked to the end of the chapter. :)

High stars!

Charlotte12
The Purple Morrow

I read your first chapter and I loved it! This was a work of art. The very first sentence drew me in and the rest of it beat me over the head till I was forciably smiling and loving every minute of it. Of course that could be brain damage but at least it helps you sell your book. :) Great opening. I can only hope the rest of it is just as good :)

Just started, but as a early/mid 90s club and rave teen, you had me at "doves." I'll shelf this and come back to it for the whole thing. Good luck with the ED, I'm sure you'll get it.

Dude. This is intense. It's a little much for me--I don't know that I could get through the whole novel--but there's no doubt at all that you are a masterful writer and I'm certainly impressed, and glad you made it to the desk. Congratulations!

This is compulsive reading, very dark and what I have read so far is extremely well written. Has shades of Irvine Welsh about it though not quiet so graphic (thankfully). Looking forward to reading more and good luck with it.

Some of the terminology is foreign to me, but despite that (which is saying alot), I still became drawn in and curious. I loved the drug-goggles/dancing goddess on the speaker situation- a darker version of the usual beer-goggles. I'm excited to read more when I have time. On Chapter three now...haven't found anything to critique.

This is not normally a book I would read, drugs and bad language are alien to my culture, but it is very well-written and reminds me much of my favourite sci-fi writer Philip Dick and so I am pleased to support it.

You have done a terrific job- I love the plot. I am sure that you're novel will be known to publishers sooner rather later. Wishing you the best of luck. Keep your dreams alive!

Still reading but I'm almost done. Not much to pick on that’s for sure. I'm trying to find mistakes and it's like playing where's Waldo with your work. I'm kind of proud of myself for finding a possible mistake. Minor as it may be.
In chap 36 par 2.
“His red twin squirrel was his pride and joy, and he wouldn’t tolerate anyone making a mess in it not even a ‘superstar D.J.’ ”
How's this.
“His red twin squirrel was his pride and joy, and he wouldn’t tolerate anyone making a mess in it, not even a ‘superstar D.J.’ ”
or this
“His red twin squirrel was his pride and joy, and he wouldn’t tolerate anyone making a mess in it. Not even a ‘superstar D.J.’ ”
Great book man. And i'm not just being polite. You deserve being up there at the top.

Hi James,

I read four chapters. I was immediately taken in by your powers of description. The scene comes simply alive and the rave atmosphere is as intense as a film scene. But it goes further with feelings, thoughts and impressions. It's as perfect an image of intoxication as I have ever read.
In contrast you manage to give a gloomy picture of a smashing weekend of letting-go which suddenly comes to an abrupt end with the inevitable police invite and this ushers in a true come-down. Reality is suddenly hitting hard. You're good with words and capture a scene with just a few dabs which allow the reader to take part, like the red light bobbing up and down, and the Toblerone for father.

The bonsai trees were a little bit of a surprise. I would have expected more of a piranha tank flanked by hibiscus. The scene seemed a little too thoughtful and calm for a man of his calibre. But then you reveal the vulnerable spot and all the subdued behaviour begins to make sense, even if we don't know what happened to his wife.

I found chap4 not quite as interesting, although there are some good points about violence and playing the hard man. Cristopher is not a hero nor a victim. He comes across as boring, which makes it difficult to sympathise with him. Maybe that was the intention, considering his second name. But then, my attention was flagged by the description of the stranger's eyes dishing out the plastic bag. I thought that was well observed and genuinely scary.

I think your writing is skilled and the chapters I read certainly raised my interest to find out more about the plans of distributing that new drug. And of course, I want to know if the skinny slag was actually murdered or just vampired. A great read!

Ame

This is a very good read!

Awesome first chapter. Visual and visceral. The writer seems to be a natural when it comes to horror.
Truly deserving of the top spot.

Impeccable writing and good flow to the storyline. The details sent up images like a movie screen. I read through chapter 3 and would have liked to continue following the characters from the first two chapters, but otherwise it was a good place to introduce some new players.

Well done.

April Gray
The Illusion

I have to admit that I was only able to give the time to read one chapter at this point, but I will definitely be back to read more. The description of this man's experience is very well done and demands that I read further in to see how he moves forward through this story.
I wish you well, will be back as soon as time permits.

Not what I usually read but man, it was good. Gruesome but good. I only read chapter one but I know I'll be back to read the rest. Good luck with it. :)
-Julie Rainey
The Journey Home

Dear James, sorry for the late response.I went through the first three chapters of Discoredia, and I am hooked. You have excellent narrating style, brilliant concept and you describe things very well.Since I am a pharmacist, I can say you have described the effect of a psychedelic drug very well, and also pointed out why addiction to drugs is a vice.I will comment when I read more.God bless you.Love,Percy

Wow. Can't say I saw this one coming. First chapter had such an abrupt turn of events that I can see why it has the reader immediately trying to discover more, fantastically written! The details and wording are very balanced which I like a lot, and as for the character himself, despite the fact that you didn't quite reveal him in full detail the reader is able to capture and create their own version of him.

Hi JC,
I had a chance to take a look at Discordia today. This is not my usual type of read, and there is definitely some language/slang that is lost on an American, but the writing is very nicely done. The pace is fast particularly in that fist chapter slower, more somber in the following 2 chapters. I thought the characters were well written so far, though I found it hard to identify with them.
Anyway, the premise is interesting, I like the direction this is going.
Great Job!
Mindy
The Wishing Place
Glory

Hi J.C.

I read the first chapter and here is what I think... I believe you are very descriptive, which in my opinion is the best trait to have as a writer. It helps the reader envision what they are reading. The use of details are also a good way to throw curve balls at the reader and they help set a clearer tone for what you are reading. I believe in reading this book that you have knowledge of these kinds of parties and what goes on with the people that attend these parties. In regards to the use of blunt vocabulary like "fuck," in my opinion brought me a little shock. But this is just a personal opinion, I mean, I don't use that vocabulary deliberately so I kind of was a little shocked. But anyway, other than that, I found no problems with it. It still does need a little tweaking, but overall your style of writing makes it an interesting story to read. Like one of the comments said below, this is not my style of book to read, but you make it interesting so that I want to read it. I backed it and I want to wish you luck in your writing career.

Hey, JC! I read the first chapter, which was a little hard on my eyes from the large amount of text in one 'paragraph', wall text, so to speak. I did like the flow and how it caught me, however, and I will continue to read! It's a bit gritty, and something I think I will very much enjoy.

This was really I enjoyed reading this well done

Dear Mr Michael
So, far, I find your piece really good. The first chapter grabbed my attention right away and i couldn't help but keep reading. You have a great way with descriptions that don't bog down the pace of the story.
CH1: you have a sentence where you say 'He tried to concentrate, to focus, but his head SPAN. It's just a little error but the past tense of spin is actually spun.
Really love the line: the nylon of her tights stretched and then tore into ladders. I don't know why, but I find it an ingenious way to describe the way nylon breaks
Urk, I actually grimaced when I read your description of the character attacking the girl and after, the MC. Great writing there.
In CH2, you have "with an exploration of the Coffee Shops". Is Coffee Shops a name of a specific place, or do you just mean various coffee shops? If so, then those two words don't need to be capitalized...
Also, I think the capitalization of Police is unneeded... At the end of CH2, the story is still very gripping. You are very good at keeping the pace going strong.
I finished the third chapter and so far am really enjoying your piece. I'll definitely back your book and will return to read more later on. Great work!
- Pamela

This is the kinda book I'd like to write - fast, pacy, and lots of drugs! Reminded me of my owntime on the club circuit actually, I should have kept notes!

Hi J C, A very convincing voice that has the vitality to intrigue the reader into the narrator's drugged view. The detail and the drive of the protagonist are done with good pace. The scene of his attack on the female performer was revealing for me, and it gave another idea about the popularity of cannibalistic literature these days. I appreciated that and the scene was somewhat real or surreal. Shelved - Katherine

I'm new here but was drawn into your book immediately, very fine writing! I'm putting it on my shelf with six stars.
Lou

Hi, I finally got around to Discoredia in my watchlist, and I'm so damned glad I did! It's hard to find a book like this, that is so popular and actually written with the amount of care and poise you've injected into the text. The language is full, vibrant and fresh, the characters are perfectly stylised and real enough to touch. The best thing for me though is the voice, which blends textural description well and finds a way to bridge between the sections of abstract thought and the actual showing of the events of the story, it's rare to find that in a book these days, most usually go for either very airy abstract prose, or nuts and bolts fiction, but you've found a way to sew the two together seamlessly. Very impressive indeed. At times, the voice was a little too punchy and common for me, but it was very few and far between. I really like this book, you're not afraid to stray into deep thought, and keep the reader begging for more. Backed and 5 stars.
-Pete
Gum

Does the number of comments count?? As I've never left you one I just thought I would say WELL DONE, number 2 and 1 spot left to climb. This is an amazing book that hit me on a number of levels. Some bits were quite sad, others sickening to my stomach, and you also found space for a bit of humour.

26 days to go!!! I'm with you all the way to that desk!

Excellent writing, I read the first couple of chapters and am gripped. Best of luck in getting it published. It definitely should be out there!
Natalie Sauret
http://authonomy.com/books/47711/the-nameless/

The Mrs was sat reading this the other night and kept going "yuk" and "ewww" and in the ned I just had to take a look myself. Absolutely outstanding in some ways, just not right in others. You be a sick puppy my man. Read some of the later stuff and now gone back to the start. What an opening! Could easy be a movie (late night Channel 5 stuff but a movie all the same). First comment I've left, first book on my shelf. Nice one.