God's Hammer

HI Sean,

thanks for you kind words. I have always believed in the "God's Hammer", unfortunately it was unlucky in that I signed a publishing contract for it with an american ebook editor that went bust three weeks after signing. This makes me me believe it to be ultimately publishable.

At the current time I'm editing it with Esther MItchell a US author/editor. It will have some major changes to it and then I will put the revised edition on line and look for a literary agent/publisher.

I took a quick look at your book and it is fascinating as well and happily back it. Hope things work out well with it for you.

Cheers.

Gianni

Gianni A fantastic story for which I believe you will be rewarded down the line. So well done and so well told. Great flow, pitch a magnificent premise, a brilliant flow to the book. You belong in this genre as it suits your narrative voice and I love the way you manage to hook the reader into it. its good how you use your voice to slow and speed the pace of the book as you see fit. Big score from me. Well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? many thanks. Sean

Gianni A fantastic story for which I believe you will be rewarded down the line. So well done and so well told. Great flow, pitch a magnificent premise, a brilliant flow to the book. You belong in this genre as it suits your narrative voice and I love the way you manage to hook the reader into it. its good how you use your voice to slow and speed the pace of the book as you see fit. Big score from me. Well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? many thanks. Sean

Thank youTrenor for your comments, I appreciate them and am glad you find the idea of the book unique.

I had originally set the book in two fonts, one for the letter and one for the flashbacks, etc. You're not the first to say it's confusing, which naturally did not seem so to me when wrote it...

I am currently editing the book with Esther Mitchell(an American author) and will have the new version on line once it's finished. In case you haven't seen it. The issue fo the two fonts is the first that was resolved...

I look forard to further comments from you and others. I truly appreciate them.

Cheers and good luck with your work.

Gianni

Ive been trying to decipher this work. On one hand it is very unique, which is what I like about it. On the other hand, its a little confusing. For instance, still trying to figure out the reason for all the font changes. Just when I feel that Im starting to get the format, something happens and im back to being confused by it. Maybe I could have missed something??, I admit thats a possibility. But just thought that I should mention it.
But overall, I am really liking the religious war premise, so HIGH STARS and good luck to ya.

-Trenor
The Lords of Invention

Ive been trying to decipher this work. On one hand it is very unique, which is what I like about it. On the other hand, its a little confusing. For instance, still trying to figure out the reason for all the font changes. Just when I feel that Im starting to get the format, something happens and im back to being confused by it. Maybe I could have missed something??, I admit thats a possibility. But just thought that I should mention it.
But overall, I am really liking the religious war premise, so HIGH STARS and good luck to ya.

-Trenor
The Lords of Invention

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I will certainly look at your book over the next few days and let you know.

I accept the friendship request with pleasure. Take care.

I think the style of this is clear, very much so. You seem to toy with the same kind of stylistic licence I do, how much to repeat a theme -ie the letter theme. Whether this is totally okay or not depends on reader attitude?

I like the sense of hesitancy, foreboding, suspense.

Any chance you rate my fun novel Caribbean Chocolates only partly done but on site? To my surprise it rated with back, my own rates being false error key presses I seek to have taken off with e mail reply to team. They say rates and backing only get novel published if what they call 'quality ' these days?

hope for reply and that you agree to friend me. I will try to read more of your novel when I have time
Tracy Allott Barnsley England

I think the style of this is clear, very much so. You seem to toy with the same kind of stylistic licence I do, how much to repeat a theme -ie the letter theme. Whether this is totally okay or not depends on reader attitude?

I like the sense of hesitancy, foreboding, suspense.

Any chance you rate my fun novel Caribbean Chocolates only partly done but on site? To my surprise it rated with back, my own rates being false error key presses I seek to have taken off with e mail reply to team. They say rates and backing only get novel published if what they call 'quality ' these days?

hope for reply and that you agree to friend me. I will try to read more of your novel when I have time
Tracy Allott Barnsley England

Thank you Perry,

I haven't done much to promote it lately as an american author friend is helping me edit it. The prologue is now much longer and am waiting for the next stage of work.

Due to family commitments I haven't been on Authonomy much, but that will change as soon as we've finished the editing.

Hopefully the changes will help me find a literary agent and/or publisher. Unfortunately foe me the book had been piched up by american e-book publisher that went tily two weeks after signing tne cintract. I won't tell you how THAT made me feel...

Hope things go well with your work and will look at it closely once I have the time, hopefully the end of next week. That's a promise.

Cheers from Italy and hope we can keep in touch.

Gianni

You should be promoting this in the forums - an excellent narrative, my friend.

You should be promoting this in the forums - an excellent narrative, my friend.

G’day, dear friend.

On 27/APR/12, I opened a new Forum top: DOWN-UNDER WRITERS OF DISTINCTION.

I said in the very first posting:

“I've so far found one other Australian writer here in Anthonomy (and living in Brisbane like me too).
No doubt there a lot more of them; and if they would like to say: "G'day! Howyergoin.." They will be most welcome here.

I am pleased to say that this topic was very well received from Day 1. Since then, with the help of some keen members, we have been able to produce a list (Including Aussies and Kiwis) of 25 DOWN UNDER writers. And to date we have clocked 6,366 views and 350 replies.

Now that’s an excellent start. But just getting to know one-another is but the beginning.

What I’m really aiming for, is for all us DOWN-UNDER members to do what we can to help each other – knowing, that from beginners to existing successful authors, we all need a bit of support, a bit help, a bit of encouragement, now-and-again.

May I ask you please to do something for me?

First, I’d like you to confirm that you are happy (or not – shudder...)to be listed in DOWN-UNDER MEMBERS OF DISTINCTION.

Second, I’d like you to tell us if you think we are moving in the right direction?

Third: Should you happen to have a space on your book shelf, to take at look at our DOWN-UNDER writers first, before going elsewhere.

Thank you, mate!

I shall be most pleased to see your reply.

Cheers!

KEN BLOWERS

Oh... And may I invite you, and your readers
and supporters, to take a look at my books:
6 books of short stories, and 5 books of one-act plays.
Plus QUOTE ME - a book of 1,000 daily quotations
ttp://www.authonomy.com/writing-community/profile/me/
Plus my hot topic: DOWN-UNDER WRITERS OF DISTINCTION
http://www.authonomy.com/forums/threads/92659/downunder-writers-of-distinction-/
PS
The difference between a writer and a successful writer
is an ample tonic of support plus a good dose of publicity...

"You have a good story, an original idea, blending religious animosities with an alien attack and mutual incomprehension. So much futuristic sci-fi writing concentrates on technology and the fireworks of an imagined future, you concentrate much more on what we can understand and relate to."

Dear Gianni i appreciate your idea and sci-fi writing. The writing is fluent and crispy and not so complicated and the pitch is also well constructed. I think that the book takes the readers towards the futuristic situation where there will be a clash of civilizations as described by Hutington and as written in the prologues of all religions. Your effort is well appreciated and i don't find any dubious thing in the story. The strong pitch and story carries the readers through the book and one thinks to be hooked. I am reading more of this and giving it high stars and will back it too.

PS, did you receive my reply yesterday? I cannot see it here...

Gianni

Hi Jane,

thank you for the comments. I obviously still have to rectify the first of the book. If you have not read them yet you will see the second and third parts of the book the tone changes as he comes face with the enemy. This should satisfy what you asked about action...

It would be fair to say that the first part was deliberately written to set up the confrontation with the Enemy(capital letter deliberate...).

I suspect someone who has only formal education and writing a letter for the first time will be formal and it is why I have him writing in this way, but I could be wrong.

Unfortunately I am now living i Italy and I think I would need someone to work with the fix up the first part and resolve the issues. This is where an agent would be useful and have been looking for one for more than two years...

Again thank you for the feedback. It's not as negative as before the revision, so I think I have resolved some of it. Outside the change of fonts and dates I'm not sure what else can be done.

I appreciate the compliments since the last rejection from a publisher(before the latest revision) hit quite hard and took me time to recover.

You have reassured me that the basic story is strong and I also confess I needed the comments about my writing as my confidence has been down lately...

I wish you all the luck possible with your own books, You deserve it for the kindness you have shown me.

Gianni

Gianni,
Looking back at the notes I made, what stands out for me is the formality of the tone. This is only my gut reaction, but it seems to me that there’s just a little too much scene-setting and explanation of the situation and not enough action or real time emotion. Even when Rome is destroyed, you don’t show much of Paolo’s emotions.

It doesn’t help that the typescript doesn’t always change according to the chronology. I think it would be clearer if the reader could tell just by looking at the page if the action is contemporary or if we are reading a letter, or again if the action is in the past. I personally don’t like the technique of adding a date to the intro heading as sole indication that this is a flashback, or a jump forward. It means the reader has to keep dates in his/her head to understand what’s going on.

You have a good story, an original idea, blending religious animosities with an alien attack and mutual incomprehension. So much futuristic sci-fi writing concentrates on technology and the fireworks of an imagined future, you concentrate much more on what we can understand and relate to. Your world of the future is still peopled with Italians who support the Juve and are proud of their Roman dialect and have a recognisable life based on family and friends. That’s what makes it touching.

I can see why you have had mixed reactions to this book. On the one hand it is a really good idea and you write fluently in the telling of the story. On the other hand the prologue and the introductory chapter are a bit jumbled. The chronology is very complicated (letter written 100 years previously, Paolo at 18, Paolo at 29, before the attack on Rome, just after the attack) for a single chapter and an awful lot happens.

If I were you, I’d concentrate on sorting this opening into a more logical order, sorting out type faces and chronology, and possibly spreading it out a little so that you can have a few more scenes of showing what happened rather than just relating the events. Sci-fi isn’t what I read as a general rule because the technological aspect usually bores me stiff, but I liked this story because you have kept a domestic, human element, and I would have liked to see that side of the story expanded.
I wish you the best of luck with this and I’ll be happy to look at it again if you decide to make any changes.
High stars for the quality of your writing and the great potential of your story.
Jane

Gianni,
Looking back at the notes I made, what stands out for me is the formality of the tone. This is only my gut reaction, but it seems to me that there’s just a little too much scene-setting and explanation of the situation and not enough action or real time emotion. Even when Rome is destroyed, you don’t show much of Paolo’s emotions.

It doesn’t help that the typescript doesn’t always change according to the chronology. I think it would be clearer if the reader could tell just by looking at the page if the action is contemporary or if we are reading a letter, or again if the action is in the past. I personally don’t like the technique of adding a date to the intro heading as sole indication that this is a flashback, or a jump forward. It means the reader has to keep dates in his/her head to understand what’s going on.

You have a good story, an original idea, blending religious animosities with an alien attack and mutual incomprehension. So much futuristic sci-fi writing concentrates on technology and the fireworks of an imagined future, you concentrate much more on what we can understand and relate to. Your world of the future is still peopled with Italians who support the Juve and are proud of their Roman dialect and have a recognisable life based on family and friends. That’s what makes it touching.

I can see why you have had mixed reactions to this book. On the one hand it is a really good idea and you write fluently in the telling of the story. On the other hand the prologue and the introductory chapter are a bit jumbled. The chronology is very complicated (letter written 100 years previously, Paolo at 18, Paolo at 29, before the attack on Rome, just after the attack) for a single chapter and an awful lot happens.

If I were you, I’d concentrate on sorting this opening into a more logical order, sorting out type faces and chronology, and possibly spreading it out a little so that you can have a few more scenes of showing what happened rather than just relating the events. Sci-fi isn’t what I read as a general rule because the technological aspect usually bores me stiff, but I liked this story because you have kept a domestic, human element, and I would have liked to see that side of the story expanded.
I wish you the best of luck with this and I’ll be happy to look at it again if you decide to make any changes.
High stars for the quality of your writing and the great potential of your story.
Jane