Paint

Highly imaginative and original, with exquisitely detailed descriptive writing. The place and period are evoked so vividly.

Your use of description is excellent. You draw the reader into the characters, empathizing with their lives, they problems, their little victories. I love this story because I love flying, I love Florence, and everyone's heart is exposed. You weave and mix the war with romance in a real way. Sometimes it's the simple things, the gap between her teeth, color of her lipstick, description of the flights, flak, lights, noises, sensations. It all brings me into the story, feel a part. The bittersweet marriage, hanging in limbo, carries through as a constant string, holding it all together. Very well done.

First chapter is magical and stunning in its beauty. Second chapter is gripping. You've got the best of both worlds going on here. I'm going to read some more tomorrow.

I backed your book some time ago with maximum stars. I'm very surprised you haven't reached the desk but certain that you will. I like your book and your style of writing. You write with authority and skill.
Backing again hoping friends will also take a look and be hooked as much as I was..
Very best of luck,
Laurence Howard, The Cross of Goa

The jerkiness of the introductory sentence fragments made me fearful I wouldn't like the writing, but it's good. Now I'm fearful how the story turns out!

Deliciously lyrical.

Violet,

Lovely writing. I felt it was slightly affected by the overuse of 'relevant' artist's phraseology in the first few paragraphs but your gift for lilting, artistic prose slowly pushed through my scepticism. The ending too is a great dramatic touch. You obviously have a gift for knowing how to balance 'writing' and action.

Matt

Hi Violet,

I very much enjoyed reading the first three chapters of your brilliant, well-written book, ' Paint.'

The opening page blew me away with the imagery it evoked in my mind; the sight of the paint, the touch of Isabella's paintbrush, the smell of the nauseating glue, and finally the disturbance of the air-raid siren signalling a bombing raid on Florence.

Chapter two introduces us to Freddie, her husband, alongside his navigator, Cyril, and he is given the news that his next bombing mission will be to drop bombs on his own home city. Hearing this, suspense starts to build.

Your good eye for detail helps paint a really authentic scene of the times. I particularly liked the way the men scraped back their chairs when the Squadron Commander came into the room to announce the news.

I liked the way Cyril chose Freddie to be a member of his crew.

The letter Freddie writes to his wife, in case he is killed, is poignant.

I know that men joking about their chances of getting killed was not uncommon in such fatalistic circumstances.

The amount of research and character development is excellent, and a lot of thought has gone into writing this book.

The description of the destruction caused by the bombing of Florence is well portrayed, especially the description of the mother that was killed.

Backed with the highest points. My only regret is I did not read it earlier.

Good luck,

Carol Jefferies
(The Witch of Fleet Street)

I only read the first chapter, which is problematic, since your story doesn't seem to start on the first chapter.
She paints in over-heated prose, but the reader learns nothing of the story and little about the character of the protagonist. If you're certain your literary prose will spellbind an agent or acquisition editor, this won't be a problem. Otherwise, you might consider bringing the story forward a bit and save the painting lesson for later.

Best of luck

Paint.
By Violet Wells.

Read the book and backed it a while back, still remember it very well.
Such is the impact upon the reader.
This is good—very good in fact.
I was able to share in the fear that stalked the pilots and crew as they went through their rituals before takeoff.
You give a good account of the tension amongst the crews as they prepare for what could be there last mission—the rituals need to be correct to give them any chance of returning.
Florence, a beautiful place as we all know, is the next mission and it raises problems for Freddie.
His home and wife are still there, not far from the bombing zone…The tension is heightened.
I love the way you have brought out the inner feelings of Isabella as she puts paint to canvass, the movement of the pallet knife, the mixing of rich colors, her thoughts on the sitter.
It takes an artist to be able to write in this way—it’s all there as you put pen to paper.
I’ll say no more, the book is excellent and will make its mark on the reading public.
I’ve had six stars against it ever since reading it.

Best wishes,

Neville.

One Off, Sir!
The Secrets of the Forest (Series)-Cosmos 501.
The Secrets of the Forest (Series)-The Time Zone.

Hi Violet

Great stuff!!!

Your use of the present tense helps create the illusion in the reader’s mind that they are experiencing the events as they are unfolding.

Your eye for fine detail ensures that, when all these pieces of information are taken together, one can picture the art studio vividly. Similarly, your description of otherwise mundane actions helps to SHOW that Isabella is immersed in her art.

What I like the most about the first chapter is how you weave the story’s wartime setting into the ‘art narrative’ stream of consciousness. “She walks forwards and backwards along this same trail every day for hours on end. The boards beneath her feet shaking, making things rattle in the studio. As happens when the planes fly low overhead.”

I’ve picked up what might be a contradiction. Towards the end of Chapter 3 you mention that Isabella has never seen a dead body and yet in Chapter 6 when you write “she has time to see he is as pale as a corpse”. This refers to Isabella’s impression of Maestro during the encounter in which he expels her from the art school.

Keep it up

Tau

Hello Violet:
I'm back reading Paint and couldn't stop until the end... of what's posted. Paint has the best writing I've encountered on Authonomy and the plot is very compelling. When the story moved back in time in chapter four I was a bit disoriented, but quickly realized it backstory and providing the reader with information that relates to the present story. The characters come alive and setting, time and place, make this a fascinating period in which to place the story. The setting becomes a character in its own right.
I've given six stars already, but am placing Paint on my bookshelf in hopes it makes it to the editor's desk. Best of luck. Are you thinking of posting more?
Cheers.
Debra H
Turnaround Bay

Beautiful writing, compelling characters and plot. I look forward to reading more.

Lovely writing and compelling characters. I'm happy to keep this on my shelf.

Violet:

I've read the first two chapters that introduce Isabella and Freddy. The writing is superb, somewhat mesmerizing.

The images you create in the scenes presented are rich with detail. They contain enough action, internal dialogue and provide a sense of setting that puts the reader right into the action. The scene with Isabella at her canvas painting is so delightful. Isabella is a complex, intriguing character. Freddy is equally so. What an interesting predicament they are in.

The structure is interesting--alternating chapters between Freddy and Isabella's viewpoints. I like the use of third person present tense. Gives immediacy to the action--the reader feels in the moment.

The time frame of the story creates opportunities for lots of action and drama. I will have to read on to see what happens to these two engaging, likeable protagonists. I'm learning a lot about painting and about life of an RAF pilot in World War II without feeling like I've been given a lesson by the author. Seamless writing.

Outstanding. Six stars.
Debra H
Turnaround Bay

Paint
Hi Violent,
I have read seven chapters. I am immensely in love with this book. The first time I read it I was very absorbed in the book, got to the last chapter, and "Bloop" you were gone. I do hope you load the rest of the book. Or at least have it for sale. I would definitely buy it! I did not find any errors or anything I would change. So I am going to say a little something about each chapter. :) I will return in a day or two and read the rest!

Chapter One - This chapter is written so vividly. I could see Isabella holding the paint brush and performing each stroke. She is a perfectionist and loves her work.
Chapter Two - I love the word "cheeky". In Chapter Two we are introduced to Freddie and his crew when flying.

The world beneath the wings of his aircraft is as impersonal and inanimate as a map in a book. That's how he strives to see it. (This sentence describes how he tries to cope. Kind of says it all.)

Each member of the crew has a ritual. I would have to say that Chalky has the most unique ritual. (It amazes me with the knowledge you've had to have had to write just the first two chapters. You discuss painting and now flying. You have taken this knowledge and made the first two chapters realistic.

Sentence after sentence you show the reader your skills in writing and your imagination. You're creative with your words. (The static in his headphones like the desolate of the dead, the gibbering of ghosts.)

Chapter Three - From where Isabella stands, she can see the planes approaching. At the beginning of this chapter, your writing gives the reader the feeling that a beautiful painting is being destroyed color by color until no color is visible. If any color is present, it is black.

You've painted a vivid picture of what a bomb can do to an area. It leaves misery and sometimes death and destruction.
Chapter Four - She meets Freddie (The timeline goes to an earlier point.)
Chapter Five - Fabio is a creeper! (He plays his part well.)
Chapter Six - This Chapter brings change in Isabella's life. Three strokes of paint and the cruelty of someone.
Chapter Seven - Isabella does not indicate if she heard what Freddie sai at the beginning of the chapter.

I can't wait to read the rest! 6 stars! I applaud you!

Sara Stinson
Finger Bones

nice, and backing

I've read the first two chapters and thoroughly enjoyed them. You 'literally' paint the scenes. The canvas describes the setting so well.
I feel the tension in the second chapter as he speaks about the place he lives.
Well done.
High stars
MC
Exposed

This book is superior and I enjoyed what I've read so far very much.

So Freddie fancies Kate. A complex man. It's Ozymandias with a 'z'.

Oh dear,poor old Freddie and Isabella. is he gay or just impotent? I expect we'll find out. Well described.

Chapter One-a pleasure to read.

Great characters, great dialogue (which isn't easy to do) and a perfect pace. It hangs together very nicely.

HI i ahve put your book on my watch list to read in the next week .

I wondered if you would look at either or both of mine.. i havent got them all up online yet..

many thanks Kate
http://www.authonomy.com/books/45554/off-the-rails/
http://www.authonomy.com/books/45472/back-to-you-/

I have read but a small portion of the story, but I am already hooked! For some reason, reading the words, I feel as if I know how to paint. Now, I know nothing about painting and stink at everything that does come with art! But that words, they are striking! The descriptions are amazing! I love the way I feel as if I am inside her mind, feeling the way she feels about her brush, her strokes, her visions. I will continue to read, but thank you for this piece!
Love it!

On the strength of the opening two chapters the best thing I've read here so far. .

Violet, congrats on making the desk. I hope HC snap you up. I feel the same as Sam Cronin (Mule) below.

If you're considering early chapter edits I've got a couple of notes:

[Unfaithful lovers] -- maybe 'faithless lovers'? I prefer it anyway. Seems more emphatic.

[It' feels like someone is doggedly] -- catch that stray apostrophe.

You use the corkscrew image three times in the first two chapters. Important to lay hands on a corkscrew in a crisis (!) but your corkscrewing began to grate at the third usage. Is the repetition deliberate? For me it isn't as effective as the use of echoed phrases elsewhere in the first two chapters.

Otherwise.... deft penstrokes from the sleeves pulled over the wrists to the double cough. Lovely stuff. You should be published!!!

Just started your book, looks very promising. Will provide proper feedback soon.

Violet Wells is a talented writer and her PAINT sample leaves you wanting more.

Glenn Muller
TORQUE

Violet,

Stunning work! Your knowledge and description of the RAF during World War II is compelling and insightful, using solid descriptions to describe engine motors. I'm most drawn to the dialogue betweeen the airmen; I feel this is the novel's strongest feature. I'm curious to read more about the lives of the airmen and the air battles that they fought. The premise of an airman bombing the town where his wife lives is an innovative story. I want to see that develop throughout the story's development. Great job and thanks for sharing it with us, and congratulations for having made it thus far!

Sam Cronin
How Well the Sailors Run

This is an accomplished, polished piece of writing that I can imagine seeing on my bookshelf at home between, say, Atonement and Birdsong. In the meantime it's on my authonomy bookshelf with a full set of stars.

Another fabulous historical, Violet. You seem to have a knack for making the past come alive again. I love the details about painting and art. Well done! ~Gail SECRETS WE KEEP

This is a devastating concept, and beautifully written. Very well done, Ms. Wells.

Nicely done, Ms Wells. Pleased to welcome you to my shelf, with high stars.

Great book ... gave it high stars ... gotta say you're a very good writer, and the introduction was fantastic.
Though its not my kind of book i have to recognize it is well constructed, and i must get to the ending to give it a proper review. But so far so good ...

Best,
Joel
"The Shout of the Phoenix"

Chapter 10-It's 'Ozymandias' with a 'z' Violet. Otherwise not bad. You're better at the relationship writing than action,although I admit you add a poetic quality beyond the Alistair McLeans of this world.

One word, sublime. You know where it is ;)

Lynn

I like this, a lot. Beautiful writing, as always.

This is, au fond, a story about truths – relative and absolute.

Like Isabella's painting – delicate, intricate – this is a multi-layered piece of writing. Exquisitely written, as we have come to expect from this author, it is masterly not only in its appeal to the eye but in its ability to evoke the scents and smells of time and place. In Ch. 1, turpentine and rabbit glue came easily to my nostrils, soon replaced by the sour smell of the cockpit and the sting of cordite. Brick dust and petrol and the sad, squalid aftermath of bombing, a little farther on.

There was a small disappointment in the opening chapter. Particularly struck by the aptness of the line "... against the audacity of her exacting eye", I stopped to savour it for a second or two. Two sentences later it appeared again, which knocked the bloom off the first time, and made it feel contrived, no longer organic as it had at first.

In Ch.5 I was shaken out of the moment – and the rhythm – by the sudden switch from Isabella's POV to that of Maestro: "So, you and Freddie ... piece of rag". [Pretending the remark is casual] and [He likes it when she's disdainful about Fabio.]

Lines that pleased me immensely, and had the ring of truth about them, were "... the mud suck of the dragging minutes"; "Her eyes have been trained to find a story in the juxtaposition of objects"; and "He makes her feel as if she is standing barefooted in the world". And a line that had great personal resonance for me: "... just long enough for me to wave and give you back the smile I never quite had until I met you." The "quite" makes it sublime. And heartbreaking.

Success for this consistently good author is long overdue. I hope "Paint" will be the breakthrough novel. Backed with pleasure.

How can this magical, well-written book be over-taken by lesser works? This book is first class. High stars for Paint.

Wonderful writing. Literary without going overboard, you never lose sight of your storytelling. The drama is strong, and the dialog engaging. Best of luck with this!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

This is great writing. Love the description of flying a bomber in chapter two. I also have to say that your description of the painter on a good day could also have been used to describe the author as she was putting together this wonderful prose. Read more later. For now, many stars and watchlisted.

Hello there - I thought you might like to read the comments I left for your work during the last round of Mayhem:

Looming over the words of Paint is the concept of the book. However delightful the narrative and description, whatever the outcome may be, the foreboding is there at the back of the mind. Nothing good can come of this.

The writing is fine, Elegant and measured. The use of sounds and smells and colour works wonderfully well. The dialoge and conversation real. Nothing jarred at all. The flow of the story drew me in immediately and I was disappointed that the work (an Authonomy at least) is incomplete.

The obvious knowledge of place and events did not dominate the story, but served as a convincing backdrop. We do not want Firenze to suffer, let alone her inhabitants or our main characters, we are caught up in the futile inevitablity of events that cannot be altered by the players in the story.

So, Paint left me wanting more...and in the light of that, it is, for me, the clear winner in this heat.

Beautiful. Very rarely have I read such unique, individual writing as yours. Though in general I find books written in the present tense tiresome, it instead aids and gives individuality and tone to your book. I have just read the first two chapters and, if not for being short of time, would certainly read more and will in the future. I am already entrenched in the lives of the characters and the rich, vibrant quality of the story. Your descriptions are lovely and vividly clear; I can see everything.
One, very small thing I noticed: in the second chapter, in the dialogue, you used the word "ginormous." Now, I could be wrong and it could have been a very natural part of the vernacular at the time, but I thought it seemed a little bit out of place.
That being said, you have incredible talent.

Brilliant premise. Brilliant choice of tense to make it more immediate. After the first two chapters, I'd buy this. R

Backed, not just because it covers th same time period as mine but because I was instantly in tune with the characters and taken up with the action. Super. Lara
A RELATIVE LOSS

Violet, it was a great pleassure to review the first few chapters of Paint. It is an instantly engaging story with the sinister threat looming amidst the harmony of painting, especially with the personal tie between man and wife. The writing style is tight and mature, the descriptive scenes evocative and of the era. Only minor change I would advise is the 'met man' being denoted as 'Met man' ( Meteorological Office... Met Office is mentioned by you earelier) - this will clear away a little confusion. I look forward to reading more and have backed Paint as well as rated it with high stars. Best regards, Andrew Esposito / Killing Paradise

I am thoroughly enjoying everything about Paint. The story. The dialogue. The descriptive scenes. The history. Mind you, I don't usually like historical novels (war time stories). But this is so brilliantly written I am immediately captivated from the first few paragraphs.

The way you use color and texture to describe everything from a painting's canvas to a person's shirt to the landscape is breathtaking. Then you write "Colour begins to disappear from the world"...is such a powerful statement. It makes the bombing of Florence so real in my mind. Brilliant!

Highly starred and backed.

Sylvia Talo
Deadly Dot Com Revenge

I love the poetic aspects of Paint

Beautiful and intersting. I will keep it on my watchlist and come back for more.

Sara
War of the Wastelands