Slow Poison

Hi Casimir,

I have just finished reading Slow Poison.

I think it is quite an achievement. Dark and sad in tone but very well written and has the tension of a good thriller while still being able to examine some disturbing and thoughtful issues.

I like the way the book shifts time, place and perspective. This adds weight to the forward drive of the novel and opens up areas of the story that might otherwise be awkward or difficult to include. It would make a great film because the flashback sequences sit very well within that medium.

What is interesting to me is the way the underlying themes integrate with the story in such a way as to be of equal importance and function. The story, although taunt and compelling, I think, requires the underpinning sense of waste and sorrow that this tale of vengeance so brilliantly demonstrates. There is a tangible sense that whatever Francis does it will never expunge or heal the wounds he carries. I think this is heightened by the connection to the holocaust, because, on a larger scale, there is nothing that will obliterate the memory of such sadness.

Also the way the horror unfolds just below the surface of what seems a quite mundane world is captured very well and informs the narrative and adds both to the tension of the plot and the feeling that we are headed toward a desperate climax.

I am glad I had the opportunity to read this.

Regards,
David Howsam.

Casimir,
From the streets of Amsterdam to the pastoral landscape of the British countryside, the scent of sex and violence never far away, mixed in with football mayhem and Nazi brutality.Your narrative prose is raw and biting, your dialogue
unpretentious and unapologertic, showing no doubt as to the intent of your work, to bring harsh reality to the reader in the best possible way, up close and personal. Thank you so much for the intriguing read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

A very exciting and intriguing read! You really pull the reader into this chain of events, getting us to know the characters and feel quite striongly towards them, in one way or another, and then you add a real twist. I love the way you steer the reader through the first chapter feeling like they know what is going to happen, but then you add the intrigue of the man in the camel coat and the diary! I was completely gripped!! Your descriptions of Amsterdam are so vivid that I felt like I was there. You have a wonderful writing style that really engages the reader and makes them think. This is not my usual genre, but I was hooked!
This is a great piece of writing and will find a space on my shelf very soon.
Best wishes
Rachael
Dreamscape

Intriguing, raw, a matching style as far as the overall tone and dialogues as well: very crude yet not offensively so as they go well with the somber ambiance of this story. I found myself wanting to know more, more about The Six, about the little girl, the investigation, the cops and the place with its culture which is unfamiliar to me. One can almost smell the booze and cigarette smoke, leather jackets and wet pavement. I give it a high score if only for virtue of successfully drawing me into this gloomy underworld of violence, prostitution, drugs and intrigues. So well written that it took me a while to escape the revolting world you're painting with words. I went to my kitchen and poured myself a scotch. Was it to get in the mood? Hardly. Your text got me there effortlessly. I was disturbed by the imagery you so craftily flung at me. I'll read more as I had to stop and catch my breath by the 3rd. chapter. In a nutshell? Bravo!

Margaret - thank you for you insightful comments. I realise my book is not to everyone's taste - but it was written with heart and passion and I feel I have ended up with writing that has an elegance whilst dealing with ugly subject matter.

The 'bulls' phrase you picked up on stems from my poetic side - there are probably more of those phrases dotted throughout the book.

Thank you for your continued support. With your help I might even reach the desk so that I can clear the way to add my new book to the lists.

All the best, Cas

Very well written even though this is not my kind of book! Nevertheless I still have to admire the standard of writing and the way you build the suspense as the story progresses. Right from the start with the shadowy figure in the background and then the drunkenness of the’six’ followed by the typical behaviour of the ‘four’ the story draws in the reader – in my case, almost against my will!

I did not spot any grammar/spelling errors. The only phrase which jarred with me was ‘Bulls they were, looking for china shops.’ I thought this would read better ‘They were like bulls – looking for china shops.’ That’s only a personal view of course.

I have been away from authonomy for a long time but your book remained on my watch list throughout that period. It will remain there for the foreseeable future.

Great writing and sorry I have taken so long to take a look!

God bless you
Margaret
How do I know God answers prayer?

Very well written even though this is not my kind of book! Nevertheless I still have to admire the standard of writing and the way you build the suspense as the story progresses. Right from the start with the shadowy figure in the background and then the drunkenness of the’six’ followed by the typical behaviour of the ‘four’ the story draws in the reader – in my case, almost against my will!

I did not spot any grammar/spelling errors. The only phrase which jarred with me was ‘Bulls they were, looking for china shops.’ I thought this would read better ‘They were like bulls – looking for china shops.’ That’s only a personal view of course.

I have been away from authonomy for a long time but your book remained on my watch list throughout that period. It will remain there for the foreseeable future.

Great writing and sorry I have taken so long to take a look!

God bless you
Margaret
How do I know God answers prayer?

Hello Casimir

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery -- since I started reading this I have remodelled the first part of my YA novel Shady Lane to include a flash-forward prologue pitching the reader directly into a key part of the action.

I think you handle the unpeeling process brilliantly. It is an unpleasant story -- definitely not one for the squeamish -- but engrossing throughout, not least because it exposes the processes of evil without being in any way judgemental.

Hello, Casimir;

I am very much enjoying reading your novel. It is beautifully dark; honestly voiced and characterised with an unapologetic tone that, to me, resonates of Hemingway slightly.
The flow of the story is good, as is the change of perspectives. There is a wonderful sense of intrigue that makes you want to continue reading.
The only typo I picked up was on chapter one:
" He watched with a mixture pain and bemusement..." You missed out 'of'.
Highest stars, sir. Very well done.

David

Good thriller with a strong plot and interesting idea. The character development is good, and you have constant conflict both in the storyline and dialogue. I truly enjoyed reading your book. high stars.

This is not my usual genre here but very good start in chapter one. Well written with great characters.it's very descriptive and keeps you reading. I hope to get back to it soon. High Stars. Would love a return read sometime. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Best of luck to you!

Lyn

Casimir,

I just finished chapter 1, poor Fred to have a sense of humor. I have found this somewhat dark but also you added some humor. The characters have a strong connection to each other that extends to the reader.

Best wishes,
Bryon Decker

Strong start and really powerful descriptions. Only part that seemed out of place was how you introduced the six those two lines... other than that, awesome start ;)

Frank - many thanks for your input. Slow Poison is not the easiest of reads, but a book of which I'm proud. All the best, Cas

Sorry, it took me a long time to get around to reading this. But well done. Dark overtones, some horrific stuff, but sometimes that is how the world is. Good weaving together of story ideas. Highly starred.
Frank

Sorry, it took me a long time to get around to reading this. But well done. Dark overtones, some horrific stuff, but sometimes that is how the world is. Good weaving together of story ideas. Highly starred.
Frank

Your book is flawlessly written, very dark and dismal, but fascinating and interesting none the less. Lots of twists and turns, which makes one want to read on. There are many different aspects to this book, which takes vivid imagination. Top stars!!

Beautifully written, stunningly observed, this has to be the very best book I have read on Authonomy. The maturity of the writing puts us lesser mortals to shame. If a publisher doesn't pick this up there is no justice in the world. I dont have a negative comment to make, this is faultless.
Andrea
The de Amerley Affair

Sean - thanks for your kind comments - let me know what you think if you read on. Your book is already on my shelf. All the best, Cas

Casimir, Very interesting and so well put together. I wouldnt normally read anything like this but on this occasion I am glad i did. It has a lot going for it in that it can be dark as well as compelling and you have chosen your moments well. This tells me you ave planned this book out well before you started. I can see also that you have done your homework well to. I enjoyed it and am going to see how this does in the future. Well done High score.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R). Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Happy New Year. Sean

Casimir, Very interesting and so well put together. I wouldnt normally read anything like this but on this occasion I am glad i did. It has a lot going for it in that it can be dark as well as compelling and you have chosen your moments well. This tells me you ave planned this book out well before you started. I can see also that you have done your homework well to. I enjoyed it and am going to see how this does in the future. Well done High score.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R). Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you? Happy New Year. Sean

Many thanks for your interest. Let me know how you find the story as it unfolds. All the best, Cas

http://casgreenfield.blogspot.co.uk/

I finished reading the beginning of a very intrigueing story. Your writing is tight with no unnecessary words to describe not only the scene but also the characters.
The rythm of your prose matches the tone of the story.
Great job. I will continue to read.

SL

I finished reading the beginning of a very intrigueing story. Your writing is tight with no unnecessary words to describe not only the scene but also the characters.
The rythm of your prose matches the tone of the story.
Great job. I will continue to read.

SL

Hi, I've just read the opening chapter. You describe very well the darker side to Amsterdam, and the harshness of living in Saudi. It's a well-portrayed brutal opening, with plenty intrigue to make the reader want to go on. Well done with this.

Jackie
Toxic

CWOG Review

I enjoyed this from the first paragraph. I am a big fan of Irvine Welsh (at least his earlier stuff) and although your voice is distinct there's a similar brooding violence and dark tone. Your turn of phrase is superb. "Urinous alleways" and "few windows in those dark clefts escaped the lick of their Pentels." Superb.

The flicker-book point of view and time shifts didn't bother me at all; indeed added a great deal to the thrust and drive of the piece. This is very difficult to do without confusing or annoying the reader, but you have handled it expertly. I could picture Fred very distinctly and although he came across as somewhat f'ed up the fact that you communicate his thoughts and feelings so well gives us more sympathy for him. Loved the descriptions of Saudi, sand getting everywhere, the heat, the oppression. "Benidorm had not prepared him for this." Brilliant. Says so much in one short sentence. There's an economy and power to your language which I'm impressed by.

Even though the first chapter was very, very long it didn't grate. Muscular, vibrant and intelligent writing all the way. There was little if any flab and even the flashbacks (washing the mouth out with soap) had a real purpose and power.

Seriously, this is one of the best books I've read on Authonomy so far. I feel like a sycophant but it's true. Will be coming back for more to see where it goes.

By the way, only spotted one typo: when Fred is first talking about going out to Saudi, there's a 'though' when it should be a 'thought'.

Mawdlin
Hubble Bubble, Toilet Trouble

Hi Casimir

Another well written offering. I only read the first chapter as it's not the genre I'm interested in. However what I did read was enough to show me that you are an accomplished writer.

It was a little confusing at first with the regular and unpredictable way you changed your point of view in the narrative, but as you got into it the flow carried the reader along. It was a bit like watching a TV drama in your head and surprisingly it works.

I hope you do well with this one, I'll keep it on my warchlist a bit longer as it's so well written.

All the best
Pam Balsdon
The King's Blessing

Interesting...On my WL.
Best of luck
Nagwa

Hi Casimir,

SLOW POISON -

Great voice, excellent characterization.
Your book begins on a high note and keeps up the momentum and intensity throughout the first chapter. No nitpicks whatsoever.

Best,

N.Lalit ( LILITH )

Dear Casimir, I've just read the first chapter your book. Wow! what an opening para. I look forward to reading the rest but I have a long reading list at present. I've put you on my shelf, it's really great desrcriptive writing and I rate it highly.
Kind Regards, Pamela Crabtree.
'The Severed Cord.'

Thanks for your comments. If you have the chance to read more, you'll find a good deal about all of the characters. No one is quite who they seem.

Let me know what you think.

All the best, Cas

I've only read the first chapter but it is very dark. Picturing the scenes as they happen, they are always dark and dirty, even the flashbacks to "happier" times. Well, I can't even air quote happier since those times were still really depressing. I always feel bad for the poor bastards in crime fiction who are the first to die, especially when their lives are like Fred's, at least from the snapshots we are shown. At first I wasn't sure about the switching around of perspective within the chapter, but I liked it. And I think the flashes of Fred's life before this moment we are shown gave me more of a connection with him than with the man with the book or with the thugs. And I really didn't want to be rooting for a murderer or a pack of brutes anyway!
Kevin Simmons
The Smiling Lady

I've only read the first chapter but it is very dark. Picturing the scenes as they happen, they are always dark and dirty, even the flashbacks to "happier" times. Well, I can't even air quote happier since those times were still really depressing. I always feel bad for the poor bastards in crime fiction who are the first to die, especially when their lives are like Fred's, at least from the snapshots we are shown. At first I wasn't sure about the switching around of perspective within the chapter, but I liked it. And I think the flashes of Fred's life before this moment we are shown gave me more of a connection with him than with the man with the book or with the thugs. And I really didn't want to be rooting for a murderer or a pack of brutes anyway!
Kevin Simmons
The Smiling Lady

I'm more a Literary Fiction than Crime Fiction reader, but I feel from 'Slow Poison' that you have combined the two exquisitely, with literary prose and a fast-paced, thrilling plot. There are quite a few characters in the first chapter and I struggle a little to keep up with all of them, but I guess it's the nature of a thriller.

The descriptions are gritty, there is none of the ‘warm, hazy afternoon’ feel that HarperCollins mentioned in their review of your other book 'Bloodstones'. And I think it can only be positive this way (gritty and fast-paced).

I can see this book landing on the Editor's Desk again, and believe it will go into mainstream publication.

Uyen
Alcoholic Rice

Hi Casimir,

I have read the first two chapters of 'Slow Poison' and found it very captivating! Your plot is engaging, as well as your characters... However, I did find your style of writing changed slightly throughout the text, and this was slightly odd.
I really enjoyed your thriller, and believe it has publishing potential, but at the same time I feel as if you need to decide what kind of writer you are and hold to it for the entire book (not that it was very off-putting, and your writing is excellent, but a firm technique is what should better your work).

Best wishes,

Morning Casimir, Interesting opening chapter. Your rapid change from the present into past experience is at first confusing, until the reader locks it down. Personally, for literary impact, I would have thinned out the 'Fucking and the blinding' from the football thugs. I liked the fight sequence, early in your novel, in the Victoria. I always feel as a reader when reading a 'fight sequence' - could that happen? would that happen? For realism the writer needs to get this right. Fred being stabbed in the heart during the melee on the narrow winding stairway up from the WC. Good action, he owed the thugs for disturbing his night out. The reader wants vengeance. Could Fred have forced his way up a narrow winding stairway, against four skinheads intent on getting in his way, probably not. Liked the screaming, the knife, the blood, and Fred slipping away. The cowardly behaviour and bleating innocence of the thugs - true to life. The detaining of the thugs by the Dutch police - would this involve a caution first? The thugs would certainly have to be arrested before going to the bureau.
Just a few observations Casimir.
Best Regards. Tigershark.

Hello,

As per your request I started to give Slow Poison a read. I gravitate more towards YA fiction the the MC usually being a female so I had a harder time getting into the story. Once I did I really enjoyed the experience. You have a strong narractive and understanding of you characters. There are a couple of misplaced commas ex. 'Shit!"-there doesn't need to be a comma after because you already used punctuation. I think your story will appeal the adult thriller lovers and high stars for job well done.


Thank you very much for pointing me in the direction of your book as it wouldn't have been something I would have sought out.

R Toy

Ps. If you get the oppurtunity you should check out SINTENT although we do write very differently you might like the story or know someone who might.

Hi Casimir,

I read the first chapter. you have a unique flair for setting up the scene. it will serve you well as you continue to write new manuscripts. I will return soon to read a little more of this book. If you should find a free moment, you might enjoy the The Buena Fortuna, and its cast of interesting characters, as they endeavour to find lost treasure.

Have a wonderful Day

The Raven

Hi Casimir,

I have read the first chapter. You have a unique flair for setting up the scene. Im sure it will serve you well as you continue to forge your new manuscript. i hope to return soon to continue reading. if you find a spare moment, you might enjoy reading a few chapters of The Buena Fortuna. It has excellent cast of characters, that might appeal to you.

Have a wonderful day,

The Raven

Very dark and intense, I can't say I would normally read this style of book but the quality of the writing is superb. Best of luck!
Natalie Sauret
http://authonomy.com/books/47711/the-nameless/

I've just finished reading the first half dozen or so chapters of this book. I found the style and pace of the story good. The intrigue is also well planned, with plenty of questions begging to be answered. I am keen to find out the answer to these questions, but not so sure I want to endure the blood bath.

this is an intense novel; written very well indeed with the perfect voice and style.
backed...
read SEASONS...

Hi Cas,
I finally had time to read the first chapter of your book. Wow. I simply love your writing style. It is very dark but very intriguing.
"The red lights glowed like cinders in the crisp December air. Snow had not yet fallen, but the night was keen with pre-frost whispers." This pulls the reader into the atmosphere right from the start.

High stars! I'll keep my fingers crossed for this one.

Nicola

I really enjoyed this! Even though the chapters are long and there are lots of them, I found it gripping and did not want to put it down. It is very well written and evokes thought as well as emotions.
I hope this goes all the way to the top!

This review is for: Casimir Greenfield's Slow Poison
Date: 09.14.2012
Review By: Elizabeth Raine
Chapters: 1 (Chapter 14.)
Short & Long Pitch – Brilliantly done. Very intriguing and eye catching, I believe you have a winner here!
Notes for Short and Long Pitch – None to note.


Chapter 14:
"a Titanic corpse weighted down with opulence" Your way with words and the descriptions are brilliant. I applaud you on such a wonderful story. The characters leap off of the page and their personalities are one of a kind. Well done.

Notes for Chapter 14:
"We were lucky to be able to include in on the books" *it?
"took one and but into with pleasure" *bit into it?
"Even when accepting apology" *an apology?


6/6 stars. Watch listed.

~ Elizabeth.
Like Father, Like Daughter
Alice

Thanks Chris. The piece is being revised as I write. The new opening has not yet been uploaded, but as with Bloodstones, it is undergoing extensive editing. All of the points you mention have already either been excised or revised. I really appreciate your input and I'm glad it is not yet clear who the killer is. I've got something right then...

Keep in touch, Cas

Cas,
Your comments, as promised. I usually focus a little on grammar, and some on logic/believability. I figure the story is all yours, and I wouldn’t want to make you change it. Keeping that in mind, I had not real logic questions either. It was all straightforward and believable. So here goes:

C1P1 – Use a comma after streets in “In the narrow streets the red light”

After you describe The Six, you jump back to the man. The transition took me a bit by surprise. It might help if you used “the man” again, or something like that, rather than just jumping into “destroying his reverie.” His, who? Was the immediate question that came to mind.

How could the piano bar be occupied by coincidence and chance [which is obviously redundant] and also by design? You’re going for something here, but I don’t quite get it. I suppose it has to do with the murder, but he foreshadowing is a little loose.

There is no need for the comma after the exclamation point in: “I’m looking forward to this!”,

Add commas around Janet in: “He and his wife, Janet, were holidaying”

Add a comma after big to: “Fred Farthing was a big, muscular man.”

The flashback to primary school was funny, but it should be introduced differently. Maybe in italics, or indented, or something else to set it apart.

I’m going to leave off commenting on the rest of the grammar. Just apply the same rules as above.

BTW, is CIT-TEE a football cheer. I’m not up on English soccer?

I love all of your descriptions, especially Saudi. Everything you write is very colorful; full of character. I’m really interested to see who actually committed the murder. Right now I can’t imagine how it was anyone other than Den.

I’m keeping you on my WL, and will try to come back later for more.
Can’t wait to hear what you think about mine.
Best wishes,
-Chris
Fugitives from Northwoods

Cas,
Your comments, as promised. I usually focus a little on grammar, and some on logic/believability. I figure the story is all yours, and I wouldn’t want to make you change it. Keeping that in mind, I had not real logic questions either. It was all straightforward and believable. So here goes:

C1P1 – Use a comma after streets in “In the narrow streets the red light”

After you describe The Six, you jump back to the man. The transition took me a bit by surprise. It might help if you used “the man” again, or something like that, rather than just jumping into “destroying his reverie.” His, who? Was the immediate question that came to mind.

How could the piano bar be occupied by coincidence and chance [which is obviously redundant] and also by design? You’re going for something here, but I don’t quite get it. I suppose it has to do with the murder, but he foreshadowing is a little loose.

There is no need for the comma after the exclamation point in: “I’m looking forward to this!”,

Add commas around Janet in: “He and his wife, Janet, were holidaying”

Add a comma after big to: “Fred Farthing was a big, muscular man.”

The flashback to primary school was funny, but it should be introduced differently. Maybe in italics, or indented, or something else to set it apart.

I’m going to leave off commenting on the rest of the grammar. Just apply the same rules as above.

BTW, is CIT-TEE a football cheer. I’m not up on English soccer?

I love all of your descriptions, especially Saudi. Everything you write is very colorful; full of character. I’m really interested to see who actually committed the murder. Right now I can’t imagine how it was anyone other than Den.

I’m keeping you on my WL, and will try to come back later for more.
Can’t wait to hear what you think about mine.
Best wishes,
-Chris
Fugitives from Northwoods

Dear Casimir,
I just read the master piece (Slow Poison) written by you.
I was thinking long about what to comment but all I can do is in a sacred silence to give you all the stars.
Thank you for sharing.

Wow! What descriptions of Amsterdam. I've been there several times and they ring true from what I've seen, but I wasn't in the places you mention.I only saw from the streets. Your dialog is great. I'm immediately hooked wanting to know about The Six and the man following them. I've given stars and put you on my watch list. I will surely come back later. Right now, I'm feeling overwhelmed with work. The parents of Jordan Romero just hired me to write his story.He's the youngest person to summit Everest. He did so at age 13. Simon and Schuster is their publisher. In the meantime, I'm still looking for help with Everest Whispers on here if you get a chance to read.
Your book is doing great! And you already had one on the editor's desk. My bookshelf is frozen. I'm unable to remove a title in order to back someone new. I've written dozens of complaints to the site manager. I gave you high stars and put you on my WL

Club Agatha, Chapter 1

Casimir,

I kept feeling, as I read the first chapter of Slow Poison, that I was back in college reading T.S. Eliot. Your prose is chunky -- in a good way -- every word deliberate, weight-bearing. There are no grammatical flaws, which is really a nice change. You introduce us to this netherworld in staccato sound bites, popping us into a dark and creepy place, from one deranged mind to another. (I admit, I think I would be a little unnerved to meet you after reading this!)

Your characters were varied and their voices strong. And your descriptions are so original. A few favorites:
"Bulls they were, looking for a china shop."
"...set the candles hovering in their slipstream"

In places my mind reeled trying to keep up, but for the most part I felt like that was more an indictment of me than of you. Vocab that stretches is a good thing, slang or internationalisms that fly over my head would probably not trip up another reader. But there were some trouble spots, I think. For example --
Paragraph beginning "The Gents' was in the souterrain" -- suddenly you have a whole section that goes "the xxx was xxx... The xxx was xxx". For effect? Or maybe you should rework that a bit.
The bathroom scene was confusing to me -- a flashback within a flashback... Maybe streamline this.
Para. Beginning "the entrance to the Rode Leeuw..." is confusing. What is the palace? The Damrak? The C & A? Take pity on your readers, we are a feeble-minded pack.
Later, there is suddenly a burning car, though i had to reread a few times to figure out that you weren't still in the police station; immediately you switch to a bar with a breaking aquarium, I believe. That part was especially bewildering. Who are we following here? Where is the POV character?
And finally, the priest and the fireball. Huh?

Still, I kept thinking about old T.S., and he sure enough flits around like a demented, brilliant, ADHD kid. So maybe that's just your style.

I get the darkness, the ugliness, and the crudeness. I live in an inner city. But I do tend to think, in general, less is more. The hooker with the beads? Dude. Too much information. I hope you'll let a little light in somewhere along the way.

I will be back to read more, but I did want you to know I've been reading, processing. You might just be brilliant.

Catherine Morgan
Nickel Ridge

Catherine,

First things first. I'm a nice guy really. I've lived a long life and I have a fertile imagination. And I have witnessed many of the events unfolding throughout the book. But, I'm not in it and it's not about me. Well not all of it...

Your comments and insights show a reader as skilled as you are a writer. I appreciate your words more than I would from most.

I have been in the process of heavily editing my other book, Bloodstones, over the past few days. There is a distinct possibility that it may read the Ed's desk tonight and I wanted it to be match fit for that. My harshest critics on site (in the 'If I were and agent..' forum) have finally given it the thumbs up. That is the beauty of Authonomy, in the right hands we have the most skiful free analysis possible.

Thus Slow Poison will now also receive a good hard appraisal. There is some clarity needed. A few choice words seeded through the narrative will bring things into sharp focus. I'm almost ready for that.

Much becomes clear in the book, even the fireball, but I will now have the chance to work on the anomalies.

My life at present is a round of writing (third book Red House nearing completion) promoting an album and broadcasting. I gave up sleep years ago.

There is little light in Slow Posion I'm afraid. I always cry when I read the final pages and really, lightness is not where it will go but it will end up with clarity.

I have tried to write this tale with compassion and elegance. I realise that it is not for everyone, but it is the work that is important to me and it was never going to appeal to the chick-lit market anyway. I live in the same town as Katie Fforde and Jilly Cooper and both my on-site books are partly based there. I run a little vintage shop (a very popular little vintage shop) under my given name. I think I may be glad I have a nom-de-plume if either of these books ever see the light of day.

I celebrated the 100th episode of my radio show on Sunday last. I even interviewed the author of Slow Poison once...they have no idea!

I will let you know when the edits of Slow Poison are up and running. I value your opinion.

Much success with your own work. I'm a fan...

All the best, keep in touch, Cas.

Club Agatha, Chapter 1

Casimir,

I kept feeling, as I read the first chapter of Slow Poison, that I was back in college reading T.S. Eliot. Your prose is chunky -- in a good way -- every word deliberate, weight-bearing. There are no grammatical flaws, which is really a nice change. You introduce us to this netherworld in staccato sound bites, popping us into a dark and creepy place, from one deranged mind to another. (I admit, I think I would be a little unnerved to meet you after reading this!)

Your characters were varied and their voices strong. And your descriptions are so original. A few favorites:
"Bulls they were, looking for a china shop."
"...set the candles hovering in their slipstream"

In places my mind reeled trying to keep up, but for the most part I felt like that was more an indictment of me than of you. Vocab that stretches is a good thing, slang or internationalisms that fly over my head would probably not trip up another reader. But there were some trouble spots, I think. For example --
Paragraph beginning "The Gents' was in the souterrain" -- suddenly you have a whole section that goes "the xxx was xxx... The xxx was xxx". For effect? Or maybe you should rework that a bit.
The bathroom scene was confusing to me -- a flashback within a flashback... Maybe streamline this.
Para. Beginning "the entrance to the Rode Leeuw..." is confusing. What is the palace? The Damrak? The C & A? Take pity on your readers, we are a feeble-minded pack.
Later, there is suddenly a burning car, though i had to reread a few times to figure out that you weren't still in the police station; immediately you switch to a bar with a breaking aquarium, I believe. That part was especially bewildering. Who are we following here? Where is the POV character?
And finally, the priest and the fireball. Huh?

Still, I kept thinking about old T.S., and he sure enough flits around like a demented, brilliant, ADHD kid. So maybe that's just your style.

I get the darkness, the ugliness, and the crudeness. I live in an inner city. But I do tend to think, in general, less is more. The hooker with the beads? Dude. Too much information. I hope you'll let a little light in somewhere along the way.

I will be back to read more, but I did want you to know I've been reading, processing. You might just be brilliant.

Catherine Morgan
Nickel Ridge

Agatha round two

We have a man reading a diary from WII, a police officer De Kroon, Fred, Becky and others, flashbacks and a lot of character and time hopping. I find it all quite confusing.

Club Agatha Round two:

Wonderful range you have, Cas. The scenes between Fred and Becky are so gentle and warm, then we switch to the very stupid Den, trying to blame his friends in his terror, then the nasty little boys and poor Linda... it's a fast and furious read. Dialogue is great and so are all the characters, from the stolid cop to the "six" and everyone in between.

This is a complex and intelligent mystery, and I look forward to reading more of it. I have no idea who this real killer is. Well done. EB

I am known, and I am determined to continue, to give honest reviews, so your book is no different. The problem is I am struggling to give anything but praise. This is a well-paced, intricately woven story with depth and intrigue. The details and the character-build cannot be faulted. It is rare for me to say, I will buy a book on here, but that is what I will do with Slow Poison.
The only suggestion for improvement I can make for the beginning of the book is that make it a little easier for the reader to get into the swing of the changing time-frames. For example, the diary, give it a better intro when it first appears. It still works without it, but I found myself flipping back to get a handle of the various switches. Once I had them in my head, then I was fine, but, as the say, never make the reader work too hard.

Congratulations of an excellent piece of work.

Alice

Club Agatha

Hi Casimir, as usual, you know I have a hard time with your writing style. It always seems to me that words are missing. I did get that this one was rated higher than PG, which sometimes can be a little much for me. But as always your writing is good as well as your descriptions. And, this one is on the way to the top! Good show!

Abby

Club Agatha

Hi Casimir, as usual, you know I have a hard time with your writing style. It always seems to me that words are missing. I did get that this one was rated higher than PG, which sometimes can be a little much for me. But as always your writing is good as well as your descriptions. And, this one is on the way to the top! Good show!

Abby

A good holiday read :)

Casimir,

I've read the first two chapters of this and, as promised, give my honest reaction here. As you know, I originally declined to read it. Didn't seem like my cup of tea. My experience with it has now confirmed this. The second chapter, with Fred's disgusting torture of the little girl, was too disgusting and cruel for me. I know disgusting and cruel things happen in real life, and it may all be part of what is really a very interesting thriller, but it's not for me.

But I will admit what is very obvious, that you are a gifted writer who can certainly keep the reader's attention. You are wonderful at descriptive detail. All scenes feel very real, and I like how you weave the past with the present in your first two chapters. It really did intrigue me how you did this, shifting time and perspectives so often but masterfully keeping it all together so that they don't seem like interruptions for the reader. Your descriptions are wonderfully condensed and realistic. You seem to pick just the right physical descriptions and bits of dialogue to emphasize important psychological or personal facts--as when you briefly describe the two boys' different homes, or their talk about writing over the summer, or the stark contrast between the Farthings' hotel room experiences, before and after Fred's death. You are a remarkably artful and incisive writer. People, places. The shocking impact of Fred's death on Fred's wife. The trouble between them over his taking the job in Saudi. All very real. All the little details (but just the right ones) to give us a realistic impression--you do it all very well, and this serves you well in a thriller like this. I was actually on the verge of shelving your book after the first chapter, and a bit into the second. I like to support good writing. But young Fred's torture of the girl, and the frequency of references to men and boys masturbating--this turned it from a thriller into something less for me. These things don't thrill me. Maybe you need it to write the kind of story you're writing. It's just not for me. But your knack for story-telling and striking, authentic, evocative description is unmistakable.

All the best,

Jeff McInnis--Betwixt the Trees

Hello Casimi,
Slow Poison has a breathtaking desperation about it from the very first line, and you are able to keep up that tension with every paragraph. All of the action and partying made me tired! The crassness of the dialogue is so utterly believable in this setting, I worry about the research put into it! Fantastically vile and fun to read. That's right, it is filthy and fun to read. I am happy to have read it, and glad to support it.

--Julie