Book Jacket

 

rank 352
word count 27497
date submitted 14.03.2012
date updated 28.04.2013
genres: Fiction, Horror, Comedy
classification: moderate
incomplete

All The Little Sacrifices

V. Moody

Anything is possible, if you're prepared to make sacrifices.

 

Janet Macreedy wants to be an actress. A proper actress like her idol, Raine Cox. But for all her hard work and dedication, Janet’s career is going nowhere.

When she gets a chance to meet her role model, she thinks maybe it will be the break she’s been waiting for. But the encounter doesn’t quite go to plan. Raine ends up in a coma and Janet finds herself on the verge of stardom.

It turns out Raine’s incredible success is due to more than her fantastic looks and amazing talent. She has something special inside her—and now it’s inside Janet. And it requires feeding.

The deal is diabolically simple. Janet’s dreams can all come true, if she’s willing to pay the price: the death of every man she sleeps with.

Of course, there’s no way she would agree to that, but Janet sees a loophole. All she has to do is stay celibate. How hard can it be? It’s not like she has to give up chocolate.

All The Little Sacrifices is a dark, terrifying comedy about getting what you want and then having to pay for it.

Complete at 72,000 words

 
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tags

contemporary, paranormal, satire

on 51 watchlists

96 comments

 

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Sue Harries wrote 30 days ago

Added to Wl and rated highly, will back as soon as space. Sue ''It's a Dog's Life''

Anthony Brady wrote 128 days ago


Sleeping with men hasn’t happened by Chapter 14 - at least not in terms of graphic description. No matter, there is plenty of varied entertainment to engage the reader. Not least the superb evocation of the world of theatre and the acting profession. The interplay of the subtleties, nuances, idiom and argot of drama, comedy and tragedy are deftly handled and communicated to the reader with panache, confidence and competence.

The author - V. Moody - skilfully avoids the traps of “luvvie gush: “Daaaaarling You’re Wonderful! and cliché by suggesting all that side without laying it on with the figurative trowel. This writer is definitely steeped in the world of theatre but blends it supremely with real life situations that convey a credible plot and characterisations while engrossing the reader page after page. There is a potential best seller here. All the Little Sacrifices is a delight to tempt the reader ever onward and upwards to an anticipated pinnacle in the best of pleasurable reading.

Tony Brady – SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE – Books 1,2 & 3.






miltongiffon143 wrote 139 days ago

The change of mood at 10, subtle but dark. Its Vix that changes the mood and its all done with dialogue. No descriptors telling us how something is said. This is a great example of 'show, don't tell' .
MG

miltongiffon143 wrote 139 days ago

I love the paragraph about Panache and eastern european women and also the line about making love to her being the same as making love to a bag of elbows. There are so many great lines. It's like listening to Snatch or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - a script that sounds like it should be East End speak but is better and much more colourful.
MG

miltongiffon143 wrote 139 days ago

I read your book, well the first page, and I have to say that it is the best book I have read since I've registered. Your style is deceptively simple, there are no wasted words, no purple prose and every word works. I wanted to comment before I continued reading so that I wouldn't forget the feeling.
When I go into a bookstore looking for a new author, I give a book two paragraphs and if I am not lost in their world, I put the book down. I was absorbed in your story from the first line. I can relate to Janet's sentiments. I have written non fiction articles for an educational magazine but what I really want to do is have my fiction published. The trouble is, I can't rush away pretending I didn't hear the question so I have to watch their eyes glaze over as I tell them about what I have done, wishing that I hadn't heard the question.
I have read your feedback to others and I looked at your blog site (will be returning to that) and I like your honesty. I have been tempted by small publishers to pay for the kind of critique you have given and, judging by your award you earned, you know your stuff. I can see that you have not been on this site for some time so I don't hold out a great deal of hope, however, if you do happen to check in, could you give my sample a look.
Thanks
I am now going to carry on reading this great story.
Milton Giffon
Augury of Sorrow

Sam Barclay wrote 197 days ago

It's me again. I have come back for more because the first chapter was so good. The second one has been a treat also. It is easy to dislike Pandita, which is what you want (I think), and it's easy to like Janet and Vix. All the time you give us a steady drip feed of more character info in a good way while progressing the plot at a reasonable pace. Well done again! A few specifics, if I may:

The problem with 'colossal twat' is that we don't mantain quite as much sympathy for her in that instant...also, this snippet of vulgarity sounds more like something Pandita would say and so you lose a little contrast between the two characters. But, yes, is does reveal your MC has a spine.
Nice short paragraphs: Who can blame her? Who can help her? They work well.
Pedantry: how long have 'fake boobs' been around? It needs to be very long for it to have been been pondered through the ages. Okay...it's not meant literally...so forget that.
'I fake to the left' ...could you use a different verb as I've still got 'fake' from 'fake boobs' in my head?
'get home,' 'getting out' and 'get blamed' all come very close togther... and 'She gets...' so could you re-phrase at least one of them to avoid unnecessary repetition?
bag of elbows comment seemed original
around 'doesn't get' you also have three 'gets' together...I'll shut up about 'gets' now.
nice touch with 'Sorceress Supreme.'

Overall, an excellent read and still high stars!

Cheers, Sam

Sam Barclay wrote 199 days ago

The first thing I really liked was the allusions to 'Hamlet' without actually saying the name of the play. In a similar way you skilfully introduce to the reader the MC's name via dialogue and the fact that she has a boney arse, as Pandita puts it, if i remember correctly.

The two-line para where you say 'contacts' twice...I suggest trying to avoid the repetition if at all possible as it jars ever so slightly and it's an improvement worth making given how strong the rest of your prose is.
Purple jelly sandals...must get some of thsoe...a nice, quirky line.
'Don't' would sound more natural in spontaneous speech than 'Do you not...' especially as you have 'what's' a few words later anyway.
I'd ditch 'Alas, poor Yorick' ...it's too obvious a line...I was expecting it, as will most.
You introduce characters very quickly and effortlessly to good effect such as Pandita and Carter. Well done for that.
A very funny ending as they miss their cue. It's a good hook and most readers would certainly want to read on, as do I.

High stars from me and watchlisted.

(If you could return the read for 'Dax' sometime, I'd be exremely grateful to you. To be honest, I'd very much like to establish a read trade with you because this is a very good story you have here).

Cheers for now, Sam

melissa_simonson wrote 217 days ago

One of top three best books I've ever read on authonomy. A travesty it hasn't gotten a medal yet.

Billie Storm wrote 242 days ago

I think I've read and enjoyed some of your work before. Maybe not; name seems familiar.

Getting through this is like a knife through hot butter. The preoccupation with everyone's looks, the acute self-aware, self-absorption and general spiky superficiality, did at some stages wear a little thin. (Vix, as in Vixen, for the friend?) But it romps on and engages, and was on the 8th chap before I knew it. I did skim a bit, but was still surprised by the surreal Ms Cox's demise. The writing is very clear and punchy, but felt that Raine's appearance and husky voiced 'darling's was a wee bit predictable. (unless it is all in Janet's head and she's projecting her ideal onto an imaginary person.)
You've cast her, Janet, (very settled name for a soon to be famous actress?) as an uncertain, slightly gauche/hapless but perceptive voice. She's funny and sharp, but this does not prevent her character from being submerged into a strange never-world.
At the beginning, the plot and action were rather weighed with looks and clothes for my liking, and I thought perhaps this was chick lit, and girlie, and at one point suspected you were a bloke writing what you imagined women would think. But now am not sure. Anyway, it didn't prevent me reading on, and perhaps this is a device to set us at our ease, so you can then deliver that horror you promise
There's no shortage of darkly wry moments and satire here, with layers of experience blurring reality. Overall, I find this a very well written and organised book and will back soon.
Starred /W/L
Thanks

D.J.Milne wrote 252 days ago

Have read chapters 9&10 this time.

All smooth and well paced. The turns of phrase, winked at me out of the wrinkles....offer me a boiled sweet out of her purse ...speaking journalese...are all great and put together well to create memorable scenes. I am convinced the white powder has more to it than meets the eye.

Only a couple of things I noticed

My stomach burbles me back to reality. Still only 3:36. (Is still necessary? as it was 3.33 last time)I throw the duvet aside and get out of bed. I eat a lot more than I used to, but I’m never full.

She takes another drag andshifts ( missing space netween words) around in her seat, like she can’t get comfortable. I sit down on the settee. “Come on, Vix. What is it?”

As you can tell I was scrabbling about like an beaver on a log cabin trying to find fault with your house.

T M Robinson wrote 323 days ago

This manuscipt could benefit from a third person perspective and a bit of editing. I read part of your other manuscript as well. They both have a great deal of promise. You write really well and you have a keen sense of humor.

Just try starting the book with:
"Here hung those lips-"
Squeek! Squeek! Squeek!
"-that I have kissed-"
etc...
Since improvising Shakespeare isn't encouraged, Pandita's diatribe was obviously directed at Janet, who's face bloomed with heat as she slowly lowered her sandaled foot.
Squeek!
"Holy fuck!" Pandora sceamed. "We're in the most sensitive......

Humor is the most difficult genre to write. The pace has to be fast to keep the reader's attention. Short concise sentences play better than long, literary descriptions. The payoff is that few people do it well, which means if you can master this genre, you'll reap the rewards. I think you're very close.

Best of luck.

robert j harrison wrote 363 days ago

Hi
I've read four chapters of your novel. Excellent humour, truly funny and intelligent. If there is a criticism it's that the humour comes at too thick and fast a pace to the extent that it becomes a little too pat. It could be that it's not my usual read, but i think some kind of mixing up of styles would be of help. You obviously have a gift for buiding up tension - for eg, when Janet finally gets to meeting Raine Cox - perhapp you could create something more dramatic in this way. I'll read on when I can and in the meantime add to watchlist
Best Wishes Robert

Dedalus wrote 375 days ago

Hi,

I've read the seven chapters you sent me - I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been extremely busy; but I did it.

I haven't noticed many changes in the rewrite, but it is still very good and I very much enjoyed it. The humour is excellent - subtle and clever. The narrative voice is excellent and I really got a feel for Janet. The other characters are well drawn and I got a real feel for Janet's world and her own insecurities in it. The concept is great - highly original and the writing has a very fresh feel. There isn't anything like it. The dialogue was good for the most part and the writing extremely polished.

The only apprehension I feel is that the story's structure does feel very unsubtly done. I would certainly have much preferred it if Carter's warning to Janet about Raine was a little bit more mysterious and didn't fully explain everything to Janet. It would leave the reader guessing later as she managed the lines well and the coinicidence of Pandita's death.

Another instance is how Janet recalls the events to the two investigators - we had just read the chapter, we know whether she took a sip of wine or not; we know that a hand had leapt out etc. I think it could be better done in reaffirming and throwing doubt on the reader's knowledge - perhaps suggest the idea that seeing the hand could have been an effect of the drug in the champagne - hence the hallucinations we're told it causes (and it isn't obvious in reading it if you're trying to say the hand was an hallucination). That would be a very good little detail I think.

One major thing that irked me, too, in terms of structure was the lead up to her infatuation with Raine Cox. I think you should slip it in subtely close the very start. Perhaps mention the letter she wrote when she was eleven - and then bam! we see it again when the investigators show up. You, of course, keeping the full detail on her admiration in conversation with Vix, but alluding it to it earlier (and it is significant) will make the story feel better rounded for the reader rather than just throwing something like that in.

A second moment in the structure that I never got an explanation for was why Raine Cox was in her room and not at the party? It was her event and I'm sure she would have mingled with the guests. I had the same feeling the first time round, but I don't think I commented on it.

Lastly, Pandita's death was ok but the general effect Pandita has on Janet seemed too substantial for me to appreciate. We of course have only been engaged with Pandita once and I do feel you need another scene with her, because I can't empathise with any of Janet's feelings about it in chapters 6 and 7. I really do think you need another chapter here where we are witness to Pandita and Janet's relationship - perhaps the understudy outshining her induced by Raine's effect. That way we'll know Pandita better and then she dies. It will also act to counter the effect that the play suddenly having its opening night had on me - there was no warning of that (another significant thing in Janet's life). I would also like to see something of Carter by this point - he remains significant but elsuive.

The last issue I had was the description of Vix came too late - I had to totally alter my vision of what she looked like. Again with Janet when you describe her as extremely thin and a bag of elbows. If you brought Vix's description in earlier and alluded to how thin Janet is, then there wouldn't be so much of a jump for me.

But they're the only problems. I thought this is fantastic and I love your writing. Your humour is incredibly witty and works well in the story. Janet is an excellent protagonist and every character in this is fascinating.

Joe

Katrina_Allardyce wrote 383 days ago

This is the nicest book I have read on here so far - backed you - hope you get to ED soon!

Hedley Pilkington-Minge wrote 396 days ago

I must admit that this is not my ideal read. For some reason, first person narratives in the present tense irritate me. However, I also appreciate good writing when I see it. The dialogue works very well and pushes the story along at a cracking pace. Good luck!
Stewart
Fetishes and Foibles

LizX wrote 399 days ago

First thing which caught my attention was the short pitch. It was so positive, I thought, yes... that's the way to go. The long pitch wasn't disappointing either and so stopped by for a read.

The opening could do with some of the I's editing out as there were just too many. First person can be much more intimate without them cropping up all the time and often makes the voice come over as much more developed. Starting with just... A failed TV pilot etc would have been fine.

Cracked up laughing several times, but the alas poor... you know how it goes - had me in stitches. Brilliant.

It's a long time since I've read anything as funny which actually made me laugh out loud. Loved it.

Will read on and comment some more as I do. Meanwhile.... shelved.

RossClark1981 wrote 403 days ago

- All the Little Sacrifices -

(Chapters 1-8)

Just to get my overall verdict out the way upfront, I thought this was very tight, accomplished writing and I enjoyed reading it a lot. The voice is engaging, the characters vivid and the narrative moves along at a snappy pace.

Although I'm really into sitcoms and standup, I don't often find that humour transfers well into novels so I usually give that section a wide berth in the bookshop. As such, this wouldn't be my usual fare. It probably speaks more to the quality of the book then that I enjoyed it so much.

The humour, I thought, was largely excellent. It had me laughing out loud in the second paragraph and quite often from there. My absolute favourite funny bit was the 'Battered' pilot, but honourable mentions go to 'like shagging a bage of elbows' and the thought of knickerless Janet putting folk off bacon sandwiches. There were a few that didn't land with me. Some (like the Da Vinci Code comparison) didn't because they were pop culture references I just wasn't hip to while one or two I felt might have been overegging the pudding a bit. For example (in chapter 7, I think) the bit about waking up to find Brooklyn Beckham was PM. Although there, I think I mostly didn't like the qualifier 'When I say 'cool'....'

As a small point, I though both the 'Battered' bit and the following bit about the racist face cream were hilarious. But, just as far as timing goes, I wondered whether the face cream line saps something away from the 'Battered' one by coming so soon after it. I felt like 'Battered' was the money gag so part of me wanted a bit of space for it to breathe and be soaked in.

But what do I know?

A: Not much.

The characterisation I thought excellent, too. As I say, the voice of the MC is very engaging but, on top of that, the cast of extrovert, OTT personalities gives a real vibrancy to the proceedings. I thought Vix was a great character, not to mention plot-driver, and Pandita was pretty good as an example of C-list celebdom.

I'll stick this on my shelf in the near future. As accomplished and polished as it is though, I have the feeling it should be doing the subbing rounds rather than kicking about around these parts.

Cheers,

Ross

Searcher wrote 433 days ago

Love the humor in this story. Janet, the MC, is so likable that you can't help worrying about her, especially knowing something bad is just around the corner.

After reading the first few chapters, I can't think of anything constructive to offer. The book is very well written and nicely paced. Nice work.

Jane

Sly80 wrote 436 days ago

This is easily the most accomplished genre fiction I have ever read on this site. It is flawless writing, superb humour that stays subtle, a wicked plot, and a protagonist who most people will identify with easily, and then be able to understand and remain empathic with during the fall.

I read it all straight through, which is something I almost never do. For a moment, I felt slightly deflated when the story jumped forward in chapter 8, but that soon passed as you unfolded the intervening events before Raine re-appears. It turned out a clever device that worked extremely well.

It was also good to see the switch of roles with Janet and Vix, as the latter becomes the sensible one. The psychology throughout is spot on, including influence that might be fame or may be the internal demon, or both.

I'd love to read the rest of the novel if possible (please let me know). And I'm assuming you have, at a minimum, an agent trying to find a home for this.

Six stars is the least this deserves, and I have to find room on my shelf too. It will stay there until it makes the desk. (Read my other reviews. I am genuinely knocked out by this novel)

Minor suggestions:

It's got (to) the point…
Since around July … All around the…
Carter hangs, from the climbing bars – why the comma?
tongue poking out … I poked her in the ribs
"How did you know that?" – I think an expletive is needed
(Maybe a better book cover)

Seringapatam wrote 439 days ago

This book feels so natural to me. Its as if you have been writing all your life. I love this kind of writing and I think this is going to do so well. The desriptive voice, the flow of the story and the book, the pacing and the story itself are all so matched and there is nothing bad to say about this book. Well done. High score.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

LNS wrote 439 days ago

I'm afraid I don't have any helpful comments.

I read this all nearly a year ago, when you only had about 10,000 words posted, and backed it then. When I returned to the site, I saw you posted more, and then read the rest, and I still love it. I think I'd go so far as to say it's the best thing I've ever read on this site. The writing is not amateur, never bogged down with irrelevancies, and never boring.

Janet's dark sort of humor is entertaining, and helps to keep the reader engaged. Though I can see her personality sort of changing after her Raine encounter, she doesn't become less likeable.

The introduction of the Poole sister sort of threw me for a loop, but not in a bad way--only makes the whole thing more interesting.

I hate leaving comments like this; I feel so useless. But it's beautiful, it really is.

L

Chickadee wrote 445 days ago

Just read the first chapter after seeing your post on the forum. You have a really engaging, easy to read style that draws your reader in. I knew within the first couple of paragraphs that I was in safe hands and I really enjoy your mischievious, tongue in cheek undertones. I think you've got a great balance between dialogue and background information; I love the little touches such as the farting jelly shoes. I also already hate Pandita. I'm keeping this on my WL and will come back to it.

Marnie

hockgtjoa wrote 454 days ago

I have read all four chapters and wish there is more (another four?). Also, was taken aback by the recent change of titles. That said, this writing is very good and the story seems to be building up to something sensational--like the Faustian bargain or the Portrait of Dorian Gray. Will back in Feb.

Danny Writer wrote 455 days ago

Very funny. Sharp. Modern. Only read the first chapter more to follow. It's on my shelf.
Danny J.

Andrea Taylor wrote 462 days ago

This is so enjoyable I couldn't 'put it down.' Brilliantly written, fantastic dialogue, funny and yet hypnotic....so very different. No negative comments at all!
Andrea
the de Amerley Affair

Software wrote 478 days ago

Well constructed multi-themed story with elements of horror mixed in with romance makes Planet Janet thankfully an unusual read. Actually its complete crap. When most postings of this type slavishly follow a prescriptive template in the hope of emulating the success of whatever published author is currently in vogue, it is refreshing to find a work which kicks the trend and tries for individuality. Actually its worse than most things on this site.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

donkeyjacket wrote 485 days ago

No, Dedalus. Perfectly drawn. And not just Janet: Vix, Pandita, Raine, Carter and Etcetera, too - most of all Etcetera. And drawn with a brush that makes both them and your scenarios very easy on the eye and a joy to walk through. I haven't come across light, spontaneous wit like this in many a novel, nor come to know the characters so well.

Let's no be too stuffy about this.

Go! Get it out there - and well done.

AJB

Dedalus wrote 510 days ago

I've had this on my watchlist for some time when I saw you uploaded a new book. Lickety Split was a tremendous read, probably the best book on authonomy and I constantly think of it even though it has been a year or since I read all you uploaded. So with that in mind I was really looking forward to, and had high expectations for this; and it did not disappoint.

I've read three chapters and am leaving my comments now as I'll be busy for the next couple of days and won't be able to read the 4th for a while. I really liked this and it is a great concept (rather similar to my new book in settings) and the story is incredibly enticing. From the pitch, and having reached the end of the first chapter, I could already tell the great conflict of the story: Janet's love for Carter or Janet's love for her career. Its a rather unique twist to the love story idea, if she wants an acting career she'll end up killing him by sleeping with him and I'm excited to see how this turns out.

I thought the characters surrounding Janet were really well drawn, unique and life-like (this may have been an area which was better done than in Lickety Split): Vix, Pandita, Raine, Carter, etc. Even the two policemen felt real - and you do this with such little effort. The detective staring out of the window was all you had to do to give the reader some feel for a psychology and behaviour.

The flow, pace and structure of the novel was excellent. I enjoyed reading it.

I suppose I'll offer some negatives now. I don't think this is ready to send off to agents - there are various parts, especially in chapter 1, which aren't all that well written. It is close to a completed version, but I think you just need to go over it to iron out sentences which make one stumble. The other aspect related to this is the two paragraphs of conversation between Janet and Raine was so incredibly different to the style of the narrative and dialogue of the story that it didn't feel natural. I think you need to alter that to make it match how you write elsewhere. It felt as if it came to think and fast and was stilted in comparison.

The main issue, however, is actually on the character of Janet, as I see it, and while just a few lines in I got a great grasp for her psychology and her insecurities, etc. Which was excellent. But the area I feel is missing, and there's only vague hints, is how good looking is she? Is she motivated to become a star of the show? How self-conscious is she about her body and her own abilities? What, essentially, is her conception of herself?

I know you're probably thinking you've made all this clear by mentioning things several times throughout the story - but that in fact only served to confuse me slightly more. I'm not quite sure of how she perceives herself and to what extent she is determined to be a future star. I feel where this is falling short is the mix between her determination and then her shyness/self-consciousness - if you had a paragraph somewhere that allowed these two things to confront each other it may solve this issue.

But having said all that I think its excellent.

Joe

MauriceR wrote 536 days ago

Okay, seems you can.
I’m on to Ch. 2 and the great lines keep coming. I particularly enjoyed the one about “complicated handshakes”.
Comedy is difficult, but you seem to have not only the inspiration but also the discernment not to under or overdo it.

I have read all you have posted, now. There’s nothing to critique here; it reads like something you would buy in a book shop. My apologies for the nonsense below.
Are you planning to publish it?

MauriceR wrote 537 days ago

Saw your forum post, thought I’d take a look - so that worked.
Profile has a solemn vow to return reads, and Raymond Chandler at the top of your list of favourites - both pluses.
Scanned a couple of gushing comments. Yeah well, we’ve all got those.

So, expectation laced with wariness, I embarked on your opening line. Hmm, not a show stopper, but functional, and grammatical too. So far so good.
Next paragraph, a character sketch, brief and effective. Looking better.
“Either Pandita’s improvising, or she’s talking to me.” - Made me smile. So Ms. Moody, I thought, burning off the last of my wariness, can you sustain this?

The phone rings. It’s the real world. Says I’ve got work to finish. Bugger.

To be continued …

Di Manzara wrote 548 days ago


Hi V,

Wow. This is an edgy paranormal story, there's no doubt. The idea of an actress wannabe and every man she sleeps with dying is just awesome! I don't think I have ever read something like this before. I like it and I think you did a very good job with the title, the pitches, and the plot.

After reading just the first chapter, I got hooked. And that's because of your impressive writing style. You've introduced us to Janet and then from then on, I began to like her a lot. Her dreams are very much alike to most women her age and I would want her to take the opportunity of a lifetime whatever it takes.

I wish you all the best. I really enjoyed it and because of that, I'm giving you 5 stars!

May I invite you to read and rate my book as well? Thank you in advance for your help!

D
LEO & ROVER: THE PURPLE MARBLE ADVENTURES


John Philip wrote 552 days ago

This is good stuff even if it is not what I would normally regard as my kind of book (Too old! Me, that is, not the book). Written at just the right pace and in the right style for a book of this genre. Well done!
Philip John

Fennick wrote 553 days ago

I love tales of intreigue and this has a wonderful plot line.

pickarooney wrote 555 days ago

Four cracking chapters; it's a shame there aren't more. I struggled to find something to criticise but came up blank. Not even a typo.

dloganw wrote 579 days ago

I wasn’t sure I would like this story when I began but after just a few sentences I was hooked. It is really a great and humorous story that is extremely well written. I can easily see this being a very successful play on the London stage. I lived in London (actually Hammersmith) for a couple of years and loved British ‘farce’ plays. Heck, it could even be a movie and enjoy success in the U.S. It is certainly good enough, and if you push hard it will make the ED. If you don’t get picked up by a publisher it would certainly be worth self publishing on Amazon. Six stars and best of luck.
David

bibbybop wrote 582 days ago

you have a tight confident style that I can't fault. You know your voice and you're very comfortable using it. It flowed very smoothly.

This isn't my kind of book but I'ver read enough of most genres to say it is well paced, keeps you turning pages and we know enough to engage and keep our curiosoty. The actual content is a a matter of taste and I see no point in me commenting on that, as I have already said it isn't my kind of thing. Also in syaing that if I read it lying on a beach I think it would entertain me well enough.

only criticism- don't like the title. It seems more chick-lit than horror. Okay one more, I think your book is better than your blurb.

Don't know what your status is regards agents/publishing but good luck. Also I think it could really work going the amazon kindle route.
B

Abby Vandiver wrote 588 days ago

Oh my goodness! This is awesome. It is so very good. Your writing is delightful and the story is so much fun. I started laughing by the second paragraph. How is a horror story hilarious? You have managed to do it. Bravo! Bravo! You get fifteen stars from me (however, only six appear here) and a backing.

Abby

LCF Quartet wrote 595 days ago

Dear V. Moody,
Since Planet Janet is sooo my genre, I want to send you my special thanks for sharing such a good read. Janet's first person voice is sincere and very cool at times. Your introduction of Vix from the beginning gave me the impression that he is also one of your MCs. I truly enjoyed the layout, structure and pace of your novel, and liked the socialite-tension you created before we meet Raine Cox. I have a feeling that Carter and Mathilda Stanton are big time entertaining characters (which will probably unfold clearly within the next chapters) and Pandita William is my kind of character that I LOVE to read about.

High stars and WL'ed. I may even back Planet Janet when the time comes and when you're closer to the ED.
Best wishes,
Lucette Cohen Fins- Ten Deep Footprints

D.J.Milne wrote 609 days ago

Hi Mooderino
So, I went first in our swap.
Planet Janet is very well written, funny, slightly addictive and a great page turner. I finished the four uploaded chapters. Janet the struggling actress, ending up at a Raine Cox's party having been lured there and abandoned by Vix. Raine getting drugged, the police finger pointing at Janet, the now adult, with the letter from her eleven year old self being used as if she were a stalker of the stars. Then the brash Pandita getting her own Pandita effect by being killed in a car crash, after being hit by a bus. All this leading to Janet's big break. The first mention of the P. effect had my eyes watering.
All in all, a romp of a read with lines like... 'Girls like Pandita can have a picture taken of them getting out of a car knickerless, and the next day they’re the new face of L’Oreal. I’d just get blamed for putting people off eating kebabs.' and ....'Nurse Roger’s face does an odd flinch, like he was about to produce a boiled egg from mouth, but decided to swallow it instead'
Great comic writing and a six star experience. I know that this one will do well on Authonomy too. For the moment my shelf is as bunged up as a bishops lower bowl before lent so no room for the moment. Will be keeping Planet Janet on my W/L for future backing. Hopefully more will be uploaded.
D.J
The Ghost Shirt

Freddie Harte wrote 610 days ago

Best thing I've read here for ages.

Chaiscuro wrote 619 days ago

I love it V.Moody and will keep reading......Brilliant!

Phil (Arabella)

Olive Field wrote 653 days ago

I'm still laughing, this is a very funny piece of work. "I decide to hear him out. My eye's closed and my lips slightly parted. Because I hear better that way." This is a great line. Vix "I was listening with my eyes." Great humour through out. Very likable characters which makes you want to keep reading. Backed and highly stared.

Doctor178 wrote 657 days ago

I like the humour in this, and the dialogue is very natural. I can't see much to criticize, it's a lovely little read and I hope it does well!

Charlie James wrote 690 days ago

Awesome.

That is all, thank you. Backed. Or it will be when I get on a real computer, it doesn't seem at you can actually back books from an iPad.

BNLauritzen wrote 694 days ago

Definitely going to back this. I'm about halfway through and I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. It's very well written. I'm not the world's best critic, but I'll try.
At times it feels a little too fast paced. My guess is that that's the way it supposed to be, but it kind of throws me off.
But it's definitely a good piece of work, so I'll continue reading. Well done :)

daveocelot wrote 706 days ago

Hello Mooderino,

I'd been looking forward to reading this as I remembered enjoying your last book very much. I'm not much use at critiquing so I tend to just bob in a few comments on typos and whathaveya to begin with. It's probably more for my benefit than yours: just makes me feel like I've worked my ticket rather than spewing platitudes. So, I'll proceed:

Ch1: Bit of repetition here, "black actor" followed swiftly by "black curls". You could maybe just change that to something like dark, eh? "dark curls", I mean, not "dark actor".

The jokes fly thick and fast from the outset, some very memorable one-liners. "Mary Shelley's Betty Jenkins" though, I wasn't vibing too much on that one, bit tenuous. Didn't really matter though, bit like in the "Airplane" movies where if one jokes not quite up to snuff there's always a better one right up its arse!

Ch2: I was just starting to get a bit tired of the Vix as magician/hypnotist allusions. And then there was one last one at the top of Ch2 and then they stopped. So, that was alright.

Shouldn't there be a quotation mark after "You're a sweet boy"? Not sure really, because it's a speech interrupted by Janet's thoughts and I do not know the rules governing that. Just asking.

I can't read my own writing here, but there's a bit that goes something like "it's not a cloud parting" that has got a double space after it. These comments are getting a bit thin, now, I know. It's a very well polished piece on the whole.

Ch4: Maybe a missing word here; "The part's (as) good as yours." Are these kind of comments helpful, or annoying? Because I'm even starting to get on my own nerves with these now. That's the last one, though.

Oh,wait, no it's not! I spotted an extract on your thread today, where it said something about Vix (I think) pretending to be a Filipino prostitute. It wasn't in the four uploaded chapters, though. I reckon that should be "Filipina", though, that means woman - "Filipino" is male. Unless "Filipino" is the collective noun, could be. You never know, patriarchal societies and all that.

Anyway, beyond all that I enjoyed it very much. I can't think what I was going to say about it now, I've done my own head in a bit with the above nit-picking and trying to read my notes. I think I was going to say something about how in "Lickety Split" you made an apparently humdrum scenario (office politicking) entertaining and in this new one you've made a fanastical scenario seem oddly tangible. Something like that, but it sounded a lot better when I thought of it earlier.

Making a bit of a twat of myself now, I'll wrap it up succinctly: I liked your book very much, it was well-characterised, engaging, original and funny. I'll bob it on my shelf at some point in the future.

Dave

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 710 days ago

V,
An aspiring actress seeks her big break in show biz and gets it, the lead part even, in spite of a queasy stomach threatening rupture. Janet is both sympathetic and funny, not a bad combination, intimating that the laughter will be with her and not at her unless she wishes to be laughed at. Your phrasing is straightforward and clear increasing the shock value of your clever twists when you wish to spring them. Thank you so much for the titillating read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Shelby Z. wrote 712 days ago

Good writing.
Unique and clearly different plot.
This isn't my sort of book, but write well.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Collette Mondrial wrote 722 days ago

I have some experience of this world and so I feel safe to say that your novel, to borrow a phrase I once saw on another book, 'rings horribly, hilariously true'. Backed and highly starred and deservedly so.

ironinthesoul wrote 723 days ago

This is a very funny read. I love the theatrical setting, it seems like you have personal experience of such an environment and such people. The writing is straightforward and engaging. The pace is just right and the tone is witty, with some great one-liners. High stars.

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