Kirabo

Hi ya, i have finally read your book and if I was child ..i will definitely want to see it in the form of cartoon...at 7 am or wednesday afternoon just after school...
Anyway this is my feedback:
very well created of imagery for the children to be part of it as they will read...
dialogues very simple and well writtne (something that I could learn on to)
I am not sure if there is to be continued... but i hope Yes
I have rated it 6*
all the best...
olga

Hi Ronnie,

Sorry it has taken me so long to get your book, but I’m glad I did. I really enjoyed the first two stories in your Kirabo collection. Both stories contained all the things that engage the young reader or listener - a real life problem, imaginative characters and scenes, and a clear defined resolution.

You did such a fine job evoking compassion for Kirabo in the first story and you dealt with the exclusion issue in a way that the young reader could easily identify with and learn from.

In the second story, I thought you would follow this theme again. But instead of Kirabo making peace by engaging the bully in something friendly, she blows magic dust in the bullies’ faces. I don’t know how well your young readers will identify with this or if they could learn a life lesson from this. I know kindness is not always effective against bullies, but maybe it should at least be the first thing to try.

Still, I thought your stories were told very well, using wonderful imagery to create a delightful magical world that all children, big and small, can play and learn in. Highly starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

A very charming story, Ronnie. You instinctively know the things that are important to children at this age agroup and you include a lot of sensory imagery that kids will relate to and love. Your dialogue is very natural and I liked the way the story unfolded - kids that age are a little hesitant to try new things and can be a bit territorial, and you tap into that very well. The language is pitched very well -the only bit of potentially difficult vocab I spotted was 'run in' -but kids might know this. All the best with this -nice to see another children's writer on the site -quite rare here!

6 stars from me -will sample your other books too
Kaal Kaczmarek
Cousin Felicity and the Eels of Misty Point

This was a delight. I'm sure young readers would thoroughly enjoy these stories. Nothing much to add to previous comments, but I could see this as I read. Well done.

Hi Ronnie,
I liked it. You have a very direct and sparse writing style which suits this age group well. Like the idea of Kirabo having to come and stay and Brady feeling threatened. Love the bits where we hear Brady's thoughts and feelings and thought they were very well observed.
Can't think of any real problems. Sure my 6 year old would love it.
All the best,
Sharda.

Ronnie,
This is a delightful story with lots of action, colourful scenery and interesting, credible characters. I was particularly touched by the plight of Cedric, the lonely giant. I was also engaged with Brady's journey through chapter 1, and felt it was an appropriate resolution in the end. You write beautifully.
There were a couple of things I spotted that you may want to look at. I got slightly confused spotting the difference between Brady's birthday presents and his 'regular' toys, partly due to unnecessary repetition of the 'his' pronoun. Perhaps something like 'But his racing track, posters and box of toys were spread out across the floor'. The use of 'things' in the next paragraph added to the problem, so for clarity why not say 'old toys'.
I think there are also 4 repetitions of 'crossly', 3 from Brady and 1 from the villagers.
Overall, I love this and look forward to reading more. High stars.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

The children's story is great - I enjoyed it. The writing seems to be right at their level as far as I can see. What age limit did you have in mind?
One thing seemed odd to me. Brady had never been in the family attic before, prior to finding Kirabo up there? I find that hard to believe. IMO I would have said that he either played up there often or that he hardly went up there because it was too scary, or dusty or something like that.
The story has some parallels to the Chronicles of Narnia i.e the magic wardrobe, which is Ok. Maybe it can be seen as some sort of updated version that addresses modern problems to children and how to solve them - such as making friends. I like Kirabo's explaination to Brady about how she has these powers. Love the Rhinocephants :-)
All the best
Kirk
"How to Steal a lion"

Kirabo.
Ronnie Rowbotham.


I’ve read the first of your short stories, ‘The Lonely Giant’ and thought how well it fits in with an early age group reader. The dialogue is written with this in mind—not as easy as it sounds as it has to be in check constantly. Children can relate to attics, they’re usually a scary place but you have turned yours into a place of excitement and intrigue.
The cardboard box that offers so much on the other side—another land with a rather sad Giant residing there.
We find talking butterflies, Rhinosophants, Buffalopes and Bearboons.
A wealth of interest for any youngster of early years.
Forget the birthday party; this is a great time for Kirabo and Brady as they help restore the faith in Cedric the Giant.
All- in- all this is a good children’s book, well written. I didn’t notice any errors at all throughout chapter one.

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

I love this book. I read the whole thing after seeing your post on the forum. Kirabo is very well-written, with wonderful characters, and messages that kids (and their parents) will love. I also like that in your speech tags you place the name first. I do it the same way. Most people put the name after said/asked.

Great job! Highly starred.

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

a good combination of dialogue and narrative does their jobs here, and make this a very good book indeed...
l have backed...
read SEASONS...