Book Jacket

 

rank 675
word count 97920
date submitted 25.03.2012
date updated 15.08.2013
genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Romance
classification: adult
incomplete

Just Love

Nina Mills

Second chances aren't often granted, but they're always worth fighting for.

 

Emilee Stone is a successful commercial photographer and is dating the hottest actor in Hollywood, Ryan Sanchez. Until he's unfaithful.

Cristian de la Rosa is a Spanish singer and songwriter who's never gotten over Emilee. When Emilee and Cristian find themselves together again in beautiful Fiji, they discover the attraction they’d felt is still there.

Happily ever after doesn’t come easily, though, as secrets and suspicions of infidelity threaten to upset their recaptured connection. Can they power through? Or will Cristian’s volatile temper ruin their happiness?

NOTE: Image courtesy of Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 
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tags

beach, celebrity, fiji, love, photographer, romance, sex, singer, soulmate, spanish

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53 comments

 

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NinaMills wrote 617 days ago

Dear Reader,

Just Love (thanks to Amy Lantz for the title suggestion) is book 2 of 2. The first book is Just Lucky.

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

♪ Nina ♪

ChristineL wrote 166 days ago

Just Love
Nina Mills

I read chapter 1 – 6.

Just Love has all the ingredients for an entertaining, summer beach read: a luxurious resort on a tropical island, dreamy suitors and a conflicting heroine.

The pace is brisk, the writing is generally clean of error and polished. The emotions of the main character, Emilee, comes through clearly and we can feel her being torn by her affection for both Ryan and Cristian. Gabby is lively and a good foil for the melancholy Emilee. Emilee, who is a talented photographer, has an eye for details such as clothing and surroundings.

The only suggestion for improvement I can offer is to add a distinction between the two male leads. At the moment, they seem similar to me, in looks and temperament. They both have soft and nurturing sides. They are both rather jealous with a temper than can flare from time to time. They're both 'dark, tall, good looking and muscular'. Now physically, I can understand why they're similar. It can be argued that 'dark and tall' is Emilee's type, her preference. Personality-wise, I think it's okay to make them more distinct.

Overall however, this is a very entertaining read. One with a potential to be a blockbuster romance. High stars.

Christine Lee
The Summer of Jade Dragon

tinatay69 wrote 338 days ago

Please please update....

klemore wrote 363 days ago

I thought this was going to be a bit of fluff, but was surprised to find there is a sweet and real love story here. Once you get past the fact she had had, at one time, two hot celebrities to choose between (who wouldn't want that problem, though?), it smooths out into a realistic and very enthralling love story. The porn star brother was another surprise. I've almost got this whole thing read, but wanted to leave a comment just in case I can't back to it like I hope I'll be able to. Great stuff here.

Kate

Seringapatam wrote 364 days ago

Nina, I think this is going to attract a wide audience in this genre. You have an ability to show your emotions through your writing and with that alone I think you will be hooking a lot of readers. Great descriptive voice, narrative, flow and pace to this book. Not my normal read but well impressed with this. I feel this may be a little gem. Well done
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?
Many thanks. Sean

Nicky_Eyre wrote 374 days ago

wait is this the same Emile that Ryan Black dated, in No Risk, No Reward..??????

Truth One Note In wrote 384 days ago

I read a little more and finished chapter 10.
So much deep emotions and it comes across so clearly to the reader.
I think you have the images and feelings down in deep way.
Toni [Cavern of Time]

tinatay69 wrote 398 days ago

I love this book! I catch myself checking for updates hourly. Thanks for sharing your amazing writing skills!

Su Dan wrote 402 days ago

you showoff your writing skills with this book- nice style, great narrative, perfect dialogue and excellent story.
backed...
6 stars******
read SEASONS...

Truth One Note In wrote 421 days ago

This is a well written book.
Though I wasn't sure about what I would find in this, I read for six chapters of this.
You have a good balance of emotion, visual pictures, and dialog, though there is a lot of words that could easily be left out.
There are several errors, but for the most part this is well written.
The characters are pulled out in their characteristics in good ways with their unique quirks to all of them.
I may be back for more.
Toni [Cavern of Time]

MC Storm wrote 431 days ago

I've read the first 2 chapters. As far a s Chic Lit, the book draws you in: Fiji , tropical islands, a dream job. You paint your male characters well, so much so they sound too perfect. Perhaps it was just me, but everyone has some character flaw. I realize from reading the other comments this is the second book. Do you describe your MC in the other book? All I know is that she's from Georgia and has moved to California.
Overall, the writing is sound and the dialogue reads true. I've given it high stars and hope to get back to it and read on!
MC
Exposed

LCF Quartet wrote 435 days ago

Hi Nina,
After having read the first two chapters of Just Love, I can easily say that the book has all the elements of chick-lit. However, I was expecting the two leading male characters to look a bit different than each other. Do they both need to be dark-haired and brown-eyed? I'd go for a dirty blond with green eyes for contrast.

Your descriptions are good, and I liked the way you structured the dialogue parts. I have no doubts that this will be a transforming read among the genre's enthusiasts once it's published. The ambiance around the premise is quite exciting.

High stars and in my WL for further comments as I read on,
Best wishes,
Lucette-Ten Deep Footprints

dlawrence wrote 438 days ago

Nina,

Your writing is smooth, the only thing I'd watch for is the he said, she said. Conversation tags are unnecessary. Instead, try writing something like ... Christian's voice faltered. Or ... I stated, sotto-voce (means in a low tone).

Also, for other languages, type in italics. It makes it stand out more.

I've read up to and including ch 12, and I'll be back for more with a more in depth comment. Just didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you!

Dani
Flux (YA Fantasy/Sci-fi Romance)
Fate Interrupted (YA Fantasy Romance)
Captive at Christmas (Adult, Erotic Romance)

Edentity wrote 453 days ago

Damnit, I've just realised I started on the wrong book. This is number two, right? Garn. Will stop now and come back later. :)

However, while here - I did get a feeling there was too much backstory in the first chapter. Makes more sense now I realise it's a sequel but, even so, there has to be a more subtle way. I wanted to be pulled into the story - I guess I wanted to wonder how she knew the guy and why her boyfriend would be so pissed off if he knew - rather than being told upfront. It makes more sense now but, even so, some people do (weirdly) apparently read books out of sequence.

But I love your writing - it's easy, flows well and is blissfully unpretentious. Maybe look at this as if it's a stand-alone book and I bet that slight sense of ill-ease I felt would vanish. :)

MaCain wrote 558 days ago

The opening has too much exposition to pull me into the present story immediately. You told me that it wasn't necessary to read the first book in order to understand this one, but from the first chapter, I feel I have been briefed and that's not a good thing. Your writing has a great voice but, the entire time I was reading, I was thinking "When is the story going to start?". The best advice I think I could give you is to start when she sees Cristian again for the first time. Let the sparks fly. You can slowly introduce their background, as they reconnect. I feel a good, sizzling story coming, but I got most of that from the pitch and not the first character.

Sorry it took so long to return the read!

ESanchez wrote 567 days ago

Hey Nina! I just finished reading all 33 chapters of "Third Time's a Charm"...please tell me there's more! Have you finished the book yet?

Eileen Sanchez

femmefranglaise wrote 572 days ago

Hi Nina

This is good chick-lit writing and and has all the elements you need, a sassy MC, hot men and a desert island. I felt that you used 'I' too much to start with. I know it is written in first person but maybe you could vary some of the sentences a bit. I would like to know a bit more about Emilee though. You go into good detail with the men but I don't really have much of an idea of Emilee herself.

It felt a little slow to me and it would be good to get into the action a bit sooner but you have, once again, a great cast of characters to draw in the reader.

Well done

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

marcie8 wrote 577 days ago

Hi Nina,

A Club Nora Chapter One Critique:

Overall, I think this is a fun, relaxing beach read. Writing style is clear and easy to follow. Text flows well from one idea to the next. In this one chapter, there isn't too much of an opportunity to get to know the characters (since most of it is internal monologue), so, in my opinion, the biggest strength here is the setting. A private island with few people and limited space seems like the perfect boiling pot for a conflict laden story. I especially love the juxtaposition of the idyllic look to it, when in reality, it has the potential to be hell on earth. Biggest weakness, in my opinion, is the pacing. I spent all of the first chapter waiting for the story to begin. Consider summarizing much of the backstory into one paragraph, and introducing it after the reader actually meets Cristian. Perhaps the story can start with Cristian meeting the plane, the reader aware that Emilee didn't know who her subject was in advance , and it's too late to turn back now; there are no boats, no cell service, and the plane will return in a week, for example. May just be me, but I'm more likely to stick with a story if I'm dropped right into the middle of the story problem with a minimum of information because I learn more about, and connect better with, characters based on their reactions rather than their backstory.

Marcie

Patty Apostolides wrote 578 days ago

Club Nora Review Chapter 1

Very entertaining and well written, with plenty of setting, character description, and dialogue. Nice job!

This can be a stand-alone story with just enough information given to raise the suspense as Emilee finds out that she will be photographing Cristian, a previous love interest. The flash back shows that she was torn between loving both Ryan and Cristian, and Emilee had chosen Ryan.


Highly marked and on my WL for future reading!

Best,
Patty Apostolides
"The Greek Maiden and the English Lord"

ESanchez wrote 580 days ago

Once again, like "Just Desserts", this story has me hooked. I'm glad you tell us what happenend in the first story since it wasn't completed. I see "Third Time" is complete so I will have to take my time to read it. I like the pacing, the Hollywood lifestyle, the fact that Ryan and Emilee don't live with each other, the setting and the upcoming love triangle. Perhaps you could make the chapters end with more of a cliffhanger. Anyways, these are the kinds of books I like to read...Good job!

Eileen Sanchez
"Craving the World" and "Flight 750 to LA"

Emma B wrote 581 days ago

Club Nora

Great setting, made me miss my recent holiday and think about looking into going to Fiji for the next, it sounds wonderful.
Your back story is well placed, not heavy or confusing. I guess i know what will happen in Just Desserts now but it's not what happens, it's how it happens.
The characters have been introduced well, the continuing ones and the new ones, your descriptions are easily visualised and i saw them all sitting at the table, content with their surroundings and Emilee frowning into her drink, feeling like she was in the twilight zone. Very clever.
Emma

Christina in AZ wrote 588 days ago

Club Nora Review of Chapter One
Nina:
Hook - Short hook is too vague I think. Long hook is fine although I find the phrase “power through” too slangy and makes the hook less professional-sounding (to me, anyway).
Opening - Interesting opening on flight to next assignment. However, I find that the description that Emilee provides of her boyfriend and ex(?) Cristian very shallow. It’s almost purely physical. I’d like to feel more emotion. It seems she’s only with Ryan because he was there “first” and I don’t get a feel for how committed she is to the relationship. I’ve only read chapter one and didn’t read all of the first novel, but I think you have to assume others will not have read book one?

Conflict & Plot - We are drawn right into the issues between Emilee and the two men. I also like the development of some new characters, like Ramon who seems to have a new personality in Fiji. I find I am interested in finding out more about him as well as the MCs. Nice job there!
Setting - Fiji; who can’t love it?
Dialogue - flows naturally
Style - clear, descriptive.
Technical - No typos/errors -- nice job!
Paragraph starting Over the past year I had risen... The last sentence “Joseph had brought in his nephew, Rico...” seems completely irrelevant. Even if he comes into the story in a major way later, you can always add this tidbit in then. Instead, tell us why she’s living in Joseph’s apartment, maybe? You can pull the next sentence up into this paragraph, I think, for better flow.
Paragraph starting Both men had attracted me... “attracted me?” you mean “I was attracted to both”? When you say it your way it sounds like they were a trap you were drawn into.
Pace - Gets us right on the plane and into the action. A good first chapter to draw in the reader!

A beautiful, romantic place. Some interesting characters to find out about. What’s not to like? I look forward to more! Very well done.

All the best,
Christina
Modern Adventures in Sherwood Forest

Abbiealso wrote 597 days ago

Club Norma Review
Hi Nina, your writing is engaging and flows well, keeps the story flowing nicely. Kind of gave the ending away for Just dessert. but i will keep on with it, as the writing is very well done. Looking forward to reading more""
Abbie

Mindy Haig wrote 600 days ago

Club Nora Critique:
Hi Nina! I just read your first chapter of Third Times a Charm, and I know it's a sequel, but since I have not read all of book one, I am going t critique it as though it is a stand alone book. I thought the writing flowed well, the dialogue was casual. There might have been a tad too much back story for one chapter, but it wasn't overwhelming. Clearly Emilee has a thing for the tall, dark and somewhat volatile! (well don't we all really?).
I you went into great detail about Ryan and Cristian, but not Emilee, and (maybe it's just me) but I want to know what she looks like to have these famous guys clamoring for her.
My one nit-pick is that you use had before a lot of your verbs: had conceived, had begun, had moved, had flown... I don't thin the had is necessary in a lot of those places and it is a bit distracting.
All in all, nicely done! I look forward to reading more!
Mindy
The Wishing Place

pclady wrote 604 days ago

Club Nora Critique:

As with your other offering, this one is well written, with easy flowing dialogue that immediately draws the reading into the story. Love the two past lovers angle, as well as the hint of possibly making the wrong decision on who to keep and who to let go.

Descriptions of characters and settings are sufficient to create a picture in the reader's head so they feel an observer to the action. While contemporary romance is not my forte [to read or write], I thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter and will read more when time permits.

Truly worthy of being published. Best of luck!

Chrysta Mane,
{Heart's Desire & Love Me, Love Me Not]

Lenny Banks wrote 610 days ago

Hi Nina, I read chapter 6. I have had the misfortune to pick up slushy love stories all day, I hate these kind of stories, but I know there is a very large audience out there and I think this one could be a winner. You have a fantastic grasp of all your characters and you tell the story very convincingly. It felt like I had sent several hours with your characters when I came to the end of the chapter, its written very well. One nit pik: when I first uploaded several people suggested using 'okay' instead of 'ok', I did find it improved the presentation of my book, but its a personal choice. Good Luck

Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks - Tide and Time: At The Rock.

FrancesNewton wrote 616 days ago

My Club Nora Review:

Firstly, it's a little difficult to review a chapter for a sequel book, when I have yet read all of the first book.
I really like your writing style, and your books are very easy to read and follow.
You're very good at setting the scene, and describing little details, without it being boring. I don't have much to say on the chapter, because I just simply enjoyed reading it, and will continue to the first book before going on any further with this one.
The only thing, I would say about this first chapter. Is the mini recap of the first book. I pressume all those details, are cover in detail in the first book, for example how Ryan looks vs how Cristian looks. If you've read the first book, it's going over old ground.... and if you haven't read it, then why are you reading it's sequel. If you understand what I mean?
Maybe you could have this recap, as some kind of prologue or something, rather than in the middle of the first chapter.

Overall, I really like both Just Desserts and this :)

NinaMills wrote 617 days ago

Dear Reader,

Just Love (thanks to Amy Lantz for the title suggestion) is book 2 of 2. The first book is Just Lucky.

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

♪ Nina ♪

Wanttobeawriter wrote 620 days ago


THIRD TIMES THE CHARM
This is entertaining chick-lit. Emilee is a good main character; making her a photographer so she had to cover Christian’s video shoot was a good way to get her involved in his life again. The way you reveal back story through conversations between Emilee and Gabby is also well done. Makes covering that material an easy read. I’m already suspicious of Ryan; he seems too good to be true. I’m betting one of those paparazzi is going to be catching not just Emilee sunbathing in her back yard but Ryan doing that with another girlfriend. A good read, I’m starring this and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

RMAWriteNow wrote 620 days ago

Hi Nina: I am not a chick (just wanted to make that clear) but I read your first three chapters to try something new: I was glad I did. Your story provided immediate escapism from the humdrum actions of a normal life. The story was light and very easy to read. Classic sunshine or holiday reading and ideally suited to the target audience. I thought Cristian the stand out character as he seemd to have a bit of everything about him. His interaction with Emilee was also smoothly written. The flow of the book was good and for me, there was little that required changing.
I enjoyed this Nina and wish you well with it. I shall star you well as you deserve it for writing something so refreshing.
Good Luck
RMA
The Snow Lily

Sara Stinson wrote 620 days ago

Hi,
I used to read love stories all the time. I grew up with Danielle Steele. Having said that I enjoyed your story and to me felt your introduction to characters fine. Your writing style flowed and your characters were believable. It has a light and easy read which I enjoyed.
Good Luck! Oh, your cover is great! :)
Sara Stinson
Finger Bones

MrsGray wrote 621 days ago

Club Nora Critique

Gosh, I wish I'd known this was a spoiler for Just Desserts! Ah well. I still enjoy your nice easy style of writing, and the character is still appealing. I did miss the bits of humor you had in the other first chapter, but I'm assuming that since your still you, it's in here somewhere!

Even though I haven't read all of the first novel, I felt the backstory went on a bit long and dragged down the pace of the story. Maybe it could be tightened up a bit? Before and after it, the story moved well and I am curious to find out how her first meeting of Christian goes. Also, you do a good job foreshadowing some upcoming trouble with Ryan.

I do like the nice lightness of your writing and your easily visualized descriptions!

April Gray
The Illusion

GregJosephDaily wrote 621 days ago

Club Nora Critique

I can clearly hear your voice, which is difficult for most people so congratulations. It seems to my ear that you can write. Two things come to mind and they may be nothing to anyone else who reads this level of strict romance.

One is that you dedicate the first half of the first chapter to back story. I hold to the idea that that is no bueno. I prefer back story to be woven into the story later so that it doesn't seem like i am being told what is or did happen even if i am being told.

The second is that I am wondering how this is going to be different than every other love triangle story out there. Maybe it doesn't need to be to sell to the romance market.

But like i said. You can clearly write so if this doesn't hit gold just keep writing. Something will.

L_MC wrote 621 days ago

Club Nora First Chapter Crit

I've read several chapters of this story before and think it was on my shelf for a time as well. I like the idea behind it and the title, cover and pitch all work for me.

I think I had reservations before about the backstory and the flight being the starting point for the story. I still feel it could be a slow opening for a story that has a good pace.

'when he'd flown home to help me through a hard time after my father wrecked and was in a coma...' - should this say wrecked something - i.e car, truck etc.

The pace picks up when Emilee gets off the plane and whilst there is still some backstory filtering through, the introduction of the characters, the dialogue and the arrival at the villa all carry the reader into the story. I find your dialogue works well and your descriptions of the villa and the beach make me want to be there.

Emma Carey wrote 622 days ago

Club Nora Critique
Wow a sequel to Just Desserts, love it! Although having only read one chapter from Just Desserts, I was hooked, knowing now there's a follow up is even better.
I've thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter, even if I'd never read Just Desserts it would be easy to follow the story. Engaging dialogue, informative text, the same and new characters to love.
I like your choice of names, a nice combination of common names and spiced up names, Cristian de la Rosa instantly I picture a Spanish god.
This is one I would recommend.
Best wishes Emma x

Olive Field wrote 623 days ago

Club Nora Critique:
I can see this book selling very well. It has all the ingredients for the perfect chick lit. The first chapter starts with our introduction to Emilee. The writing is flawless. But, I know I hate the But...
I felt there was too much information given on the other characters. this could be drip fed to us as we get to know them.
I thought Emilee put a lot store in peoples appearance which made her seem shallow. But on reflection I think I'm being a bit cynical. ( comes with age) I think when we are young these thing are important to us and maybe Nina has it spot on.
I wish Nina the very best with this book and look forward to reading more.
Olive.

Olive Field wrote 623 days ago
Olive Field wrote 623 days ago
irelandsmemories wrote 701 days ago

Hi Nina
Most women who thrive on these romance novels have now a new exotic, foreign love story to read. Emilee is a perfect character for this role, the quick rise of ranks... she is naive and is desperately seeking love... I enjoyed the stories and encounters of each lover, her turmoil and the ups and downs of the relationships.

It flows well, you do a good job of showing and not telling... this hooked me right in and I was eager to follow her young carefree life.

I must say, your cover is welcoming and is eye-catching.
This book can be added to the chick reads and will be welcomed because of its easy read and tempo.

Highly starred
Good luck with the exotic love story.

Thanks a lot
FC

Kate LaRue wrote 707 days ago

Nina, here for our read swap. This is an easy read with a nice steady pace. I have read through chapter five. Emilee is likeable, though her rise from secretary to photographer of the rich and famous seems a little too fairy tale. Maybe if she had struggled for a few years before getting a big break she'd feel more real. She's even lucky in relationships, with a choice between a rising star actor or a hot Latin singer. This is definitely an escape from reality.

There is a lot of backstory given in the first chapter, which could probably be sprinkled throughout rather than dumped at the beginning. Also I didn't get a good sense of the setting. She's on a beautiful tropical island staying in an extravagant mansion, but all we really get is the brochure description of the house. In contrast there is a lot of description about what each character looks like, down to the clothes they are wearing. There is not a lot of showing as far as the personalities of the characters. I'm not even sure yet what Emilee's personality is at this point. The only thing I know for certain about Cristian is that he still has feelings for Emilee, and I've been told he has a temper.

Right now I don't feel a strong emotional connection to any if the characters, which is something that I need if I'm really going to get into a story. I hope my comments haven't been too harsh. Thanks for the swap.
Kate
Fade

Morgan H wrote 713 days ago

I loved this, as I am a sucker for well written romance, and great dialogue.
I am not an editor, just a reader.
I enjoyed the story, so I gave it high stars and backed it.

Morgan H

patio wrote 713 days ago

unambiguous and magnificent narrative

Bea Sinclair wrote 732 days ago

Good escapist drama. I love the bad boys, the exotic locations and the glamour you depict. High stars and backed. Yours Bea

Adeel wrote 734 days ago

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Zerin Mewa wrote 737 days ago

A very interesting read! It's well written and the structure is tight. I like the way you describe scenes' it almost pulls the reader in (a good start) The only nitpick I would have is the first chapter, maybe just get the pace going a bit more. Other than that I'm looking forward to reading more. Highly starred and on my WL :-)

Cherai wrote 740 days ago

I tried to only read a little of it and move on as I have other books I'm trying to review but I kept finding myself thinking about the characters and wanted to find out more so I read all of it. You have done really well at building the settings and personalities of all the characters. I look forward to the ending! Great job Nina!!

jlsimpson wrote 742 days ago

I've cruised through 16 chapters so far. You have laid out an interesting storyline...but I feel like I missed out on the first two parts of a trilogy! This beautiful photographer keeps dating hot men who cheat...what happened? Does she have daddy issues? Bad taste or bad luck?
I'm going to say first that your descriptive writing is excellent. I can literally see your scenes.
I'm going to say second that I have three suggestions for your lead character.
1) She sleeps every chapter. Maybe she could be editing photos or something in her downtime?
2) She weeps a lot. Do you read Janet Evanovitch's Stephanie Plum novels? Sometimes giving your lead a quirky sense of humor or sharp dry wit or something other than stunning good looks gives her more scope in a scene so she can handle uncomfortable situations in different ways each time.
3) She moves on really quickly...I understand that she'd been unhappy and that she had feelings for the singer previously, and revenge sex is one thing but I'd like to see her make him go on the hunt just a little.

And that's all I have, really. Your vocab is great, your dialogue is flowing, your scenes are gorgeous.
Your writing is fresh and the story is entertaining and I'm going to finish it tomorrow when I have more time.
Oh! Before I forget. Gabby.
Is she on a mission? Will I find out later? She is awfully blunt, and aggressively interested in what's going on around her...does she have a motive or is she really that ingenuous?
Can't wait to find out!

Jen

Californiagirl wrote 743 days ago

Exciting story and exotic setting. What more could I ask for? Great read.

scargirl wrote 746 days ago

i can feel the twists and turns already... what names you have chosen, stones, rapers, christians... very well selected. good rainy day chic read.
j
what every woman should know

Beldaran wrote 752 days ago

Very good story, can't wait to keep reading it! :)

Melissa Koehler wrote 754 days ago

Hi, I'm here for our read swap.

Boy, is this story every girls dream! A photographer who dated an award winning singer and an amazingly hot actor! I'm jealous, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to be in her shoes... I don't know who I'd choose haha. First off, I want to say that I like the way you write. I read the first two chapters and it was easy to read. It flowed well and was overall, a very smooth read. The voice of your main character is realistic and natural. I also really like your cover and your title. They're both cute.

One thing I thought I would point out is that I wasn't a fan of your long pitch. I didn't feel like it flowed very well. I felt like you gave too much away but at the same time, gave us too many names all at once that are hard to keep track of. Maybe if you broke it up into smaller paragraphs and eased us into it a little more, it would flow a little better. I just think it could use a little work.

Overall, I love the idea of this and I especially love the setting. I think your writing style is easy to read. This is really promising so best of luck with this!

Hoping to hear some feedback from you!
Melissa :)
Gut Instincts
Not So Sweet Sixteen

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