THE ROYAL NAVY& ME

Thank you so much for W Listing my book and for your very kind comments. Yes Belfast is indeed a grand old city be it we still have a few idiots running on the Falls and Shankill. Talking of Armalites, in 1986 I took my 9 year old daughter home with me , we were stopped by a British army patrol near the top of the Shankill, I fumbled to find my passport while an 18 year old soldier boy held me at gun point. Sad times and have never understood why the protestants have such fear and hatred of the Catholics. I'm a protestant but more than that I'm proud to call myself Irish. I love all of Ireland and all the peoples both North and South. I believe the root cause is the lack of Irish history being taught in the public schools, I never knew anything about 1916 or James Connolly et al. But enough about Ireland, your book is hilarious and so entertaining, I only had time to read the 1st chp. Sorry my shelf is full at present but I have added you to my W'L and starred.

"Kippers for Breakfast" - a wonderful evocative opening.

I really enjoyed your opening chapter, it certainly invites the reader to follow these young boys on their adventure.

Watch listed and may even back when i have read a lot more.

I remember the Belfast of the mid sixties, for a small town west of ireland lad, the rows of red brick buildings were a world apart. The famous cranes of H&W, the quays, for three summers, I holidayed in Belfast and have fond memories. All that changed when the Armalites took to the streets. I remember smell of fear as we walked the Shankhill road and a bomb exploded in the distance.

Maybe its high time, I walked the Shankhill road again.

Norman Morrow

http://authonomy.com/books/53181/the-con-father-brennan-book-1/

Hi Frederick,
your writing style is very much like mine so of course I loved it!!
Kind Regards,
Mick Bannister (Gibbous Moon).

Hi Fredrick
Having no naval nor any forces (for that matter) background to relate this to I found it rather hard to follow. Your memoirs are something for you to cherish, but I can see why you wanted to share them. I can see this going down well though, with ex military or naval personnel, who would have more in common with it than me. Sorry if this disappoints you but this is my opinion and I like to be honest on here. It is only my opinion so discard it if you want.
Hi Brian am I to assume from your comments that you did not return my support???
Cheers.
Brian.

Hi Fredrick
Having no naval nor any forces (for that matter) background to relate this to I found it rather hard to follow. Your memoirs are something for you to cherish, but I can see why you wanted to share them. I can see this going down well though, with ex military or naval personnel, who would have more in common with it than me. Sorry if this disappoints you but this is my opinion and I like to be honest on here. It is only my opinion so discard it if you want.
Cheers.
Brian.

Frederick, This is wonderful and intelligent piece of writing and I enjoyed it very much, Nice pace Nice flow. Well done.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage

Thank you Lynn glad you enjoyed, I will get to your book soon.

Great Story. I enjoyed it! I wish the best of luck with it. High Stars!

-Lyn
Forty-Four Footprints Following Me

Thank you so much for your comment. I read and backed you a long time ago. I enjoyed your book. Maybe I can back you again soon.
ShirleyGrace

Thanks Catherine, I appreciate your comments. took a look at your book, great opening and I didn't notice any editing issues???but I know what you mean its a tough job and no matter how many times I check and recheck I still manage to miss things. Merry Christmas, I have starred and added you to my WL

Fab story. 6 stars x

I read part of this story some time ago and commented. I read a bit more and opinion still the same. Its a great story. Max stars

An excellent story that will awake some wonderful memories in all the old salts that served in the Royal Navy - or any other Navy, for that matter. Told with style and humour, it really captures the mood of those times.

A very personal and convincing story invoking remembrances of the work the work of Nicholas Monsarrat. Real life always provides the best baseline material for adventure yarns, and this draws heavily on the authors experiences. Skillfully crafted, backed and stared highly.

Clive Radford
Doghouse Blues

Hi thank you for taking the time to read my book, glad you enjoyed it. I have taken a quick look at your first chapter and will offer you this advice. Although you should keep in mind I'm no expert!!! I found your first chapter heavy going and wasn't clear where your story was headed, it was also very long. I have always believed the first chapter is the most important chapter, if it doesn't grab the reader they will probably not read further. I have starred and add to my WL. I wish you luck finding that elusive publisher, you might consider self publishing, it seems to be the way to go these days, also have your book as an E book, gives you much wider coverage.

Hllo
the first day o Naval career is interesting to read. I like everything about you wrote. Most of them was the cinema of 1984 by George Orwell. common men, that is one of my great mentors. that shows you are bringing literature into your writing. dont change that style. ofcus memoir sounds very interesting and you created it well here. it tells us how young boy in Naval was trying to be responsible man. high stars from me.

will you kindly look at mine also. it is title Animals In Paradise

Hllo
the first day o Naval career is interesting to read. I like everything about you wrote. Most of them was the cinema of 1984 by George Orwell. common men, that is one of my great mentors. that shows you are bringing literature into your writing. dont change that style. ofcus memoir sounds very interesting and you created it well here. it tells us how young boy in Naval was trying to be responsible man. high stars from me.

will you kindly look at mine also. it is title Animals In Paradise

The Royal Navy and Me
I am really not a big reader of memoirs, and have frankly read more on this site than anywhere else. The main issue with memoirs is that they rarely follow a clear trajectory - of course, life is rarely so coherent as to follow a plot arc. So many memoirs come out as being a bit episodic.
I read to chapter four and really found it quite interesting. Just not gripping. It reminded me of hearing stories from my dad. They are fascinating anecdotes, but only held together by my interest in him. I feel that in order to engage me as a reader you need to give me a goal, be it a direction or a theme. I felt that you missed several opportunities to do this. For example, when you talk about the boy who was a mess, whose whites were ever grey and whose mother asked you for help.(sorry, I am rubbish at names).
It seemed a good opportunity for character development, even if the relationship does not flourish. I also felt that you eluded some great possibilities to have rich descriptions. The airplane trip seems like a phenomenal experience, as does the incident with the shoe shining urchin and even the laundry experience. But, again, they come across as a bit rushed to me, like you are anxious to move on to the next anecdote. I feel this is a shame, because you have a great deal of interesting stories, and I think the story wants to be told.
I would humbly recommend that you consider giving me a goal. Towards which we can work. It might be starting at a later moment in your life, where you can talk philosophically and maybe even comically about your past. That or start with some fabulous description that will grab hold of me.
As with all less-than-rosy comments, this is just my opinion. Follow your guts.
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

A fascinating story! Reminds me of those wonderful old Jack Hawkins movies--the dark sea roiling and salt spray lashing at one's face, only this time Mr. Rodgers was in a submarine. Rodgers really evokes the gritty atmosphere of life below the waves as well as the ups and downs of the life of a sailor offshore and on. An enthralling read!

Thank you Jesamine, that was probably the nicest review I have received to date. I'm pleased you enjoyed my adventures/misadventures??? I have often thought of Trevor and still feel some guilt, wondering if I could have done more. Trevor really wanted to succeed and become a sailor, he simply didn't have the capacity to cope with the harsh training. I have often wondered what became of him.



ThaQUOTE] Realclub review.

This is a charming and impeccably written tale of a boy becoming a man in the Royal Navy. It flows so well that you feel like you're following him through his journey.
The first day and following weeks you realise how much these new sailors are just small boys. They're excited and frightened and unaware of what awaits them.
Little accurate descriptions make this more than a story that could be fiction. The kidneys on toast sounds revolting. The needles being sterilised on Bunsen burners and used over and over, blunting them makes you wince with the pain that this caused these naïve boys.
I really felt sorry for Trevor. Some people just can't ever get anything right and he seemed to be one of them. I couldn't help thinking that maybe he wasn't as useless as he made out and really he just didn't want to be there.
I liked how you showed us the transformation from naïve boy to responsible individual. When being taken advantage of in the streets (by the older sailors) you realised the seriousness of your own actions and took control of the situation.
Once the basic training horrors were out of the way, the story goes down a fantastic path into a trip to Australia (during the Olympics), the ideal job and the freedom to have some fun.
The part where the two of them are hiding like frightened rabbits under the girl's beds and making their escapes out through the bedroom window made me chuckle. They truly sound like happy times.
The boyish jokes and tricks, like shaving off half of Reds beard, shows us how things haven't really changed that much over the years.
The references to sayings was interesting and I hope these continue throughout the story.
It is very well written, edited and polished. I did spot a couple of tiny edits that you might want to change.
...and made put a wet wool sock in his mouth...and made to put...
...for any unhappy lad to attempt desertions......maybe that ones ok, but lads or desertion would make it sound better.
Great story Frederick, I'll have to read more another time. I'm sure there'll be harsh times too and a lot more fun to go with it. Highly starred. Backing to follow when I have space.
Jesamine.

Realclub review.
This is a charming and impeccably written tale of a boy becoming a man in the Royal Navy. It flows so well that you feel like you're following him through his journey.
The first day and following weeks you realise how much these new sailors are just small boys. They're excited and frightened and unaware of what awaits them.
Little accurate descriptions make this more than a story that could be fiction. The kidneys on toast sounds revolting. The needles being sterilised on Bunsen burners and used over and over, blunting them makes you wince with the pain that this caused these naïve boys.
I really felt sorry for Trevor. Some people just can't ever get anything right and he seemed to be one of them. I couldn't help thinking that maybe he wasn't as useless as he made out and really he just didn't want to be there.
I liked how you showed us the transformation from naïve boy to responsible individual. When being taken advantage of in the streets (by the older sailors) you realised the seriousness of your own actions and took control of the situation.
Once the basic training horrors were out of the way, the story goes down a fantastic path into a trip to Australia (during the Olympics), the ideal job and the freedom to have some fun.
The part where the two of them are hiding like frightened rabbits under the girl's beds and making their escapes out through the bedroom window made me chuckle. They truly sound like happy times.
The boyish jokes and tricks, like shaving off half of Reds beard, shows us how things haven't really changed that much over the years.
The references to sayings was interesting and I hope these continue throughout the story.
It is very well written, edited and polished. I did spot a couple of tiny edits that you might want to change.
...and made put a wet wool sock in his mouth...and made to put...
...for any unhappy lad to attempt desertions......maybe that ones ok, but lads or desertion would make it sound better.
Great story Frederick, I'll have to read more another time. I'm sure there'll be harsh times too and a lot more fun to go with it. Highly starred. Backing to follow when I have space.
Jesamine.

Frederick:
I have read three chapters of your work. Due to the subject matter, I didn't think I would be able to get into it but I did. It's well written and I felt bad for the guys being forced to put up with all that s#it. What don't kill us makes us strong? I guess but I did not envy you. ..Laughs. I thought it was well told and good reading. High stars from me.
Shirley Grace
The Devil's Stepchild
Realclub review

Great job of showing us what life was like for a new recruit! Your writing is very clean, and you capture details well.
Critique-wise, if there was one thing I might tinker with it would be to look for ways to spice up chapter one with more dialogue, and if you can come up with a hook that would be good -- something to grab the reader and say "oh no, what happened next?" But overall, really very clean and solid.
Best of luck with this!
And if you have any interest in children's literature, do drop in on the Lost Wink.
Thanks!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

The Royal Navy and Me is an error free memoir that moves along at a fast pace and seems to improve as it unfolds. From the failure of Trevor, through marital difficulties with an unfaithful wife, a harrowing uncontrolled descent in a submarine, and the aftermath after the end of a navy career, the diary-like narrative unfolds. My only suggestion is to consider starting the story with the tense event in the last chapter and telling the story through a" my life unfolds as I am about to die" flashback to hook the reader and start with a bang before getting back to the eventual resolution of the uncontrolled dive event late in the book. High stars. jack hudson

The Royal Navy & Me.
By Frederick Rodgers.

A good description of the night at the Mission before travelling down to London, I enjoyed the scene.
I had to laugh though about the train with no toilet facilities and the way it was managed to overcome the problem…good job you never had the kippers at breakfast!
Quite a shock when you arrive at HMS Ganges, all the commotion and activity.
Chief Petty Officer, Bermingham with his welcome tone of voice, ha, ha.
Such a shock from ‘civvy street’ I would have thought!
You’ve written this very well, I can almost feel that I’m there, in the cold shower, wondering what’s next to come, what you’ve got yourself into!
I love the carefree way you write and I found no errors as I moved along—it’s all good!
I will have to come back again, Fred as I’ve only got past your first day but already like the book.
You look very smart in your sailor’s uniform—something to be proud of!
Well starred and I’ll be back!!

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

…Check the heading- THE ROYAL NAVY(&) ME (The Royal Navy & Me)… Space!

This is very interesting.
The realistic plot really draws the reader in with interest.
You do well by starting right into things.
The words flow well as the story develops.
Good work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Interesting. The book says 'biography', but isn't this autobiography?

I'm giving this a read Fred because we share things. I too went to Ganges at the age of 14 and nine months. Drake 40 Mess and became a Sparker. Went into EW on Phoebe and all that stuff. I haven't gone through it as such yet but I certainly will. It's an interesting biog and there is a decent market for good biogs. BTW if you are not already there visit www.forcesreunited.com and register. You will qualify and it's where we all keep up with one another. Take care and I will give you may opinion now that the book is on my WL
Graham Whittaker The Girl From Kosovo

Frederick, I've just finished the first two chapters, and I now know why I never wanted to become a sailor! This is very well-written and well-remembered, but I guess there was a reason for that. I will read on, but just want to let you know my thoughts for now.
Some of your imagery is wonderful, for example: 'a scene of lost curls and locks with occasional traces of blood' and 'shit on a raft'.
It's possible I missed this, but I would like to know how old you are on the day you set off on the steamer from Belfast to Liverpool. This will help the reader identify with you, and care more about you from the beginning. I also wondered if you made any friends - on the train down to London, or in your first 24 hours as a sailor? If you didn't make any friends, it would be helpful to know that too, because once again, it will give us an insight into your character. By the way, it's not Euston Street Station but Euston Station (which is on Euston Road). (Unless they've changed the name in the last 50 years, which is possible!)
Not really knowing anything about a sailor's life, I didn't quite understand what 'double smartly across it' and 'an hour of doubling' signified exactly. Perhaps you might want to consider expanding a little on these terms.
Finally, I noticed a few typos you may want to fix - all in chapter 2 I think. '...empting blankets and bodies onto the deck' - the 'y' is missing in 'emptying'. 'I doubt any of them wouldn't have been hired to shear sheep.' I think you mean '...would have been hired..'.
But overall, I think this is a very genuine account of a sailor's life, written with care and affection. A place on my watchlist for now, and five stars.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

Thanks Lenny I appreciate your comments and hope you might consider backing my book

Hi Frederick, I read chapter 6. I found the recount of your journey very interesting, especially the stop when you bought the momentos. Some of the chapters in my book follow an hour or a day in the life of my characters, this chapter accounts for weeks of your life, I am sure you have many interesting stories and accounts of events you could have included. You have led an interesting life and it is a great shame the forces have been scaled down depriving many of the adventures you experienced. I wish you luck with your book, it is very intersting.

Kind Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks
Tide and Time: At the Rock

I was a member of a school cadet force and made several trips on Irish Sea ferries - albeit at a later time than you - so your opening chapters brought back memories of my own youth. This is an extremely well-written account and your recollection of events back in the '50s is astonishingly clear. The training undergone by teenage RN recruits will seem Spartan by today's standards - not so back then when caning was allowed in schools and capital punishment one of the laws of the land. I can visualize your book in shop windows in towns with a RN tradition, so I sincerely hope that you will go on to finish it. High stars!

Camac Johnson
Hemingway Quest

A well written trip down memorie lane. The adventures of the boy that would become a man, at times I felt I was walking close behind in your footsteps. A great insite into the salty sea dog life of a sailor from back in the day.

I appreciate that you took the time to look at my book, sorry it didn't hit the mark for you,. We all have deferring opinions of what is good or bad. I don't necessarily agree with your comments, indeed I have had some very positive remarks about the book from readers not of a Naval background. I have especially received positive comments from other Ganges boys saying how my story brought back so many memories. I do agree they were good times, sadly now long in the past. Yours Aye Irishrover

Unfortunately this work fails to hit the mark, less told through the eyes of a boy, more the man who has difficulty expressing the true emotion felt all those years ago.
I did the same, wrote a memoir of my time in the Andrew and where yours is too late, mine was too soon, dripping with jack speak, so much so that no one outside of the mob could understand.
They were good times, but the only people who'd ever understand them, are the ones we served alongside and more often than not we missed that opportunity

The "mild and bitter" is a new one. The "sweet and sour" notations always amused me. This work is extremely well written with humorous situations neatly included, e.g. "None" as a signal flag hoist. Backed, I was never in the RN but this work is informative and entertaining. Well Done. Chuck

{The Royal Navy & Me} – Frederick Rodgers
Chapter 1:
I like the way you open this, standing at the ship’s guardrail. I like the insight you give into the mind of the young sailor through the use of first person, and also the daydream – this is very effective in characterization and setting the scene, and perhaps foreshadowing battles to come.

An excellent transition from the calm of daydreaming, to the more suspenseful two-sentence para ‘Now wasn’t the time to reminisce about the past. I had far greater priorities on this important day.’ There is a nice ebb and flow of tension, maintaining the readers interest in the opening of what is a crucial chapter.

Nice depiction of arrival, and the setting. You make the reader feel like they are there in the scene, experiencing things themselves. One thing I would be careful of is repeating any of the more ordinary, everyday descriptions.. e.g. eating/going to the toilet/etc… mainly in order to improve the pace early on, and catch the reader. Having said that, you do a good job of linking and making these ordinary actions relevant → e.g. ‘I decided not to ask him what it was’, because the big burly cook didn’t look particularly happy. This is great because it shows the reader more about the character’s personality. But, in contrast, an example of description to cut could be ‘Trevor and I collected our cups, plates and cutlery…’ because it doesn’t add either to the plot, or to the characters, if that makes sense? Just a thought!

In chapter 1, the nerves, anxiety and impatience → I’d show this more, perhaps describe sweaty hands, eager with anticipation, jittery thoughts, etc… to really build up more connection with the characters and reading – as is essential too when writing from the first person. There are a few other instances of this (e.g. ‘I was confused/I was surprised’)

Also a suggestion to look over and count how many times the word ‘was’ appears → try and eliminate any passive voice possible through rewording of sentences. In the first chapter, I used the ‘find’ tool, and ‘was’ came up 100 times. Using this tool is good because it truly highlights to you where the repetition is. I had the same problem until Michael Dale on Authonomy pointed it out to me, and I went through the process of rephrasing to reduce this! E.g. ‘The journey to London was uneventful, and we arrived safely at 1.30pm on Wednesday afternoon.’ Could be → ‘After an uneventful journey, we arrived safely in London at 1.30pm…’ Trust me, fixing overuse of ‘was’ is not as scary as it seems… the ‘find’ tool on word is terrific for highlighting, and then I just spent a day quickly going through the manuscript :)

I hope these comments are useful to you as you go through edits! Pretty minor stuff :)
I look forward to reading on and seeing how everything unravels!!
All the best in the meantime, and thanks so much for your enthusiastic response to ‘Dawn of Destruction.’
Cara

Hi Frederick,
here for our reading swap, thanks again for your backing of Mr Unusually. Much appreciated.
Feel free to ignore my comments, they are just my opinion and what do I know???

Your writing is lyrical and flowing and you are good at sensory detail - I can smell the woodbines and taste the bacon and eggs. But I kept wondering why you were writing? What do you really want to say?

I like all the ‘historical’ detail about the sailor’s lives but I felt at times there was too much detail and that your material needed a little more crafting. I suppose it depends on what you want to do with this. If you are happy self publishing for other men of similar experiences to read, this is a fine, well written account, with lots of well remembered detail to keep your readers happy. But if you want a more wider readership, you need to stick to incidents that will have a broad appeal. The only one I read in your first two chapters was your account of weeing out of the window on the trains and making a dash for tea and buns. That was a little recollection that will amuse and delight many people. We need more of these little nuggets.

Memoir does not have to be 100% accurate or to flow from one day to the next, the same rules apply as to fiction, we need more of a 'story' shaped out of your real experiences. We all need a bit of dramatic tension to keep us turning the pages. Something to keep us wanting to read on. But I couldn't find much to keep me gripped here. There is a lot of detail but it doesn't feel as if it has sufficient direction.
All the best with this, you've got a lot of potential here and writing talent,
5 stars from me.
Sharda.

Hi, i read through your descriptive maritime journey. I rememebered Ports mouth, on every board you get on, you get loaded with interesting oldtime naval story. fascinating. A whole world captured in your memory. Very well written and thank you for bringing it to us.
I wondner when this Native English boys of those era lived an English life. They haven't. All the were lived with instruction and commandments.
This will turn up to be a history subjects. Welldone. please add rest of your chapters as it is imcomplete. Rated and backed. Good luck.

I only ever heard brief information on service men. Thanks for sharing so much details on the ins and outs

One of my favourite books is The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monserrat and with this in mind I placed this biography on my watchlist. The Royal Navy and Me is matter-a-fact and interesting with loads of details. I read nearly to the end of the available chapters quickly and easily. I wish you well with the next chapters. All the best, Bridget - The Road from Makhonjwa

A vibrant and evocative read. My wife's father was in the navy, you've filled in a lot of gaps with your honest, down-to-earth approach to the whole adventure.

Starry, starry night...

Cas

Writing Biography is not an easy thing but you have done it so fantastically that makes me to read more of it. A hooking story which deserves to be termed as excellent. Highly starred.

Nossers, then Nozzers in chapter two.
Apart from a few grammatical mistakes, a workmanlike story which could be improved upon, but the subject is interesting and should be told.

Thank God I joined the Air Force! This is a terrifying tale, though full of humour. Written in a crisp monologue, like an intimate fireside chat, it leaves nothing out, (sometimes nothing on). To think I tried more than once to join the Navy before getting a better offer!
Non-fiction has its restrictions, and this account seems to hover very close to fiction - but that's what the good old Navy's like - unbelievable.
High stars to you, Frederick, and on my watch-list. Now we all turn over again, the backing will soon follow.
David Grant,
"Pompey Chimes"

Thank God I joined the Air Force! This is a terrifying tale, though full of humour. Written in a crisp monologue, like an intimate fireside chat, it leaves nothing out, (sometimes nothing on). To think I tried more than once to join the Navy before getting a better offer!
Non-fiction has its restrictions, and this account seems to hover very close to fiction - but that's what the good old Navy's like - unbelievable.
High stars to you, Frederick, and on my watch-list. Now we all turn over again, the backing will soon follow.
David Grant,
"Pompey Chimes"

I confess this is not exactly the sort of book I might choose to read, more of a man's choice I think. However, what I can offer is great respect for biography's especially when they are amongst other things, records of the past. Here the writer captures his memories with ease and manages to tell a story which doesn't inform the reader, merely gently take us with him through the good, bad and at times mundane of a fascinating period in his life. Well written and entertaining for lovers of Military reads.