Book Jacket

 

rank 1021
word count 19888
date submitted 02.04.2012
date updated 04.12.2012
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Comedy
classification: moderate
incomplete

Indian Summer

Daniel Rider

INDIAN SUMMER is a modern-day DON QUIXOTE, with a Bollywood twist.

 

Shayla Yost is a 23-year-old lost in the shuffle of life: dead-end job, terrible roommate, no romantic prospects, oppressive sense of ennui. As she would say, "Ugh!" However, this all changes when her impulsive best friend Don returns early from the Peace Corps. She's excited to see him-- until she learns that somehow his time overseas has fried his brains and left him with an obsessive love for Bollywood films, such an obsessive love, indeed, that he's acting like an Indian action star--singing, dancing, and getting in over-the-top fights. To make matters worse, he wants Shayla to drive across the country with him to meet an "Indian girlfriend" she's never even heard of. Over the course of their 3,000 mile trip, Don and Shayla are forced to rediscover who they are, what they want in life, and what they ultimately feel for each other--and to also ask the big question "Has Don lost his marbles?"

 
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tags

africa, atlanta, bizarre, bollywood, chick lit, comedy, coming of age, crazy, don quixote, friendship, gay, geek, india, indian, love triangle, madnes...

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35 comments

 

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Maevesleibhin wrote 648 days ago

I read everything you posted. 
I found this a highly entertaining start to what promises to be a fun road trip read, with really engaging characters and fun writing. It was really relaxing and enjoyable. I particularly liked your characters, especially Shayla, who was very engaging. I am hooked for her more than for Don , whose quest this is. 
I don't have much to say in the way of criticism. If I were forced, I would say that Don as a character is a bit under developed. But, of course, he is crazy, and the whole point is figuring out  what happened to him.  
Hook and plot- I love the ambiance you create in this first chapter, it is so reminiscent of the third world. It really does not seem from this scene that Don will be an important character, and I am curious whether you will bring Khadi back, or whether she is just a mechanism for the scene.  The ambiance really hooked me, but reading about Shay in Seattle hooked me again with the appealing humour of her character. 
I thought you developed the plot very well. You manage to give us just enough background to make her desire for Don'a return anticipated, and then you satisfy it with a twist. I really enjoyed the way his father dealt with the mixed emotions. 
You are setting up for a road trip plot, and I think you have set up well. You have a good juxtaposition of her obvious love for Don and his insane love for this random other lady. 
Character development- this is very much a character- driven story. I am very fond of Shay. She is very endearing and funny in her slightly pathetic way. I thought you developed her very well, effectively showing her situation at home and work, her relationship with her mother, coworkers and, of course, Don. 
Don, again I am unsure about. He is not terribly well-developed. However, it would be odd if he were. He is the mystery that's bringing the story around. Still, I go back and forth between wanting him to be a stronger character, and being satisfied to wait until clarity comes later on.
I like your minor characters too, particularly Don's father, Shay's mother and, of course, Patel. 
Ambiance-  part of the reason why I like this book so much is because I like Bollywood movies. This inclusion is part of the ambience in and of itself. I hope that you go into some are the plots of the Bollywood movies. They really add a comic twist to the  story. I already talked about the first chapter ambiance, which was great, but I also like the way you develop ambiance in Washington state. 
Comedy- I found this a breezy, funny read.  Although there were few LOL moments (the bit of slapstick where she falls over backwards is an exception) I think it is successful comic writing. 
Four happy faces. 
High stars, and I will find a place for it on my shelf soon. 
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

Dianna Lanser wrote 703 days ago

Hi Daniel,

Indian Summer is one of those books that grabs you and sucks you in. I literally devoured the rest of your chapters this morning. You have a wonderful way of leading the reader with a deliberately suspenseful plot. It was so enthralling that I found myself skimming over details just so I could find out why Don had come home and why his parents seemed so bothered.

Don is a quirky, passionate individual and no doubt, he going to Shayla on a strange adventure of a lifetime which is maybe exactly what she needs.

I found your writing to move along quickly and easily. It didn’t take much effort on my part to read. Your characters were easy to understand, the plot flowed smooth and details were well thought out. I love books like this - highly satisfying and entertaining - something you can grab and go. I think this is going to be received very favorably here. Six stars!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Atieno wrote 731 days ago

Hi Daniel,
Just began reading Indian Summer and I think its so clever how you weave all the cultures and people! I laughed at how you praise Hollywood and Bollywood and what many(African,gender) Think about them!lo
This is a well written piece and did not find any nit pik! Good.
I am watchlisting it for more reading but you get my highest star right away!
Josphine

daveocelot wrote 645 days ago

Hello Daniel,

Returning your read. I made some notes as I went along. Some of them might seem churlish - I'm not much good at critiquing, really. You are welcome to disregard anything or everything that I say.

Pitch: That's a hefty chunk of text there - might be a bit more enticing if you broke it up into paragraphs.

Ch1; It's "Seagal", not Segal.

"Aissa was Peulh, not Malinka" I gathered these were tribes or castes, but it might be better to clarify.

Beyond that, this was a vivid tableaux you rendered in the first chapter. I am intrigued by the strange behaviour of the American.

Ch2: "She was going to ask me to become the person I was pretending to be" Nothing critical here, I just thought that was a great line - an instant indicator of character.

A small point, but I could have done without the "Mars Attacks" reference. I copped a lot of flak on here for having too many cultural references in my earlier draft and it used to piss me off a bit. But, now, I think it's valid - not because of any concerns about it dating the MS - more that a writer should generate their own imagery, not fall back on established templates.

"While Jen and I were always talking, he always seemed aloof". Not sure if this was a conscious repetition. if not, you could just sub one "always" with a word like "mostly".

Ch3: It occurred to me in this chapter that you seem to be slipping out of Shaylas POV as you clue the reader up. For instance, she returns back to domicile and remarks "It was a pretty ratty place". As it's first person, why would she need to remind herself that? You could get around that by replacing it with something like "It was still as ratty as ever". This carried on when she was describing her car.

I didn't get the "Sisterhood" reference.

In Chapters 4 and 5 I didn't make any notes at all. I felt that you'd ratcheted up the sense of anticipation in the preceding chapters perfectly and i just wanted to devour Don as soon as he rampaged into the text. I wasn't disappointed...

Although, I was, as Chapter 6 wouldn't load. I'm sure it's just a temporary Authonomy glitch and I'll be back to round out the read when I have time and the site will allow me.

I thoroughly enjoyed this, Daniel - it's well written and engaging, but I think the best thing about it is that I genuinely have no idea what's going to happen. Which is a rare enough commodity in modern literature alone, even more so on here. I'll be back to find out soonish.

Dave

Maevesleibhin wrote 648 days ago

I read everything you posted. 
I found this a highly entertaining start to what promises to be a fun road trip read, with really engaging characters and fun writing. It was really relaxing and enjoyable. I particularly liked your characters, especially Shayla, who was very engaging. I am hooked for her more than for Don , whose quest this is. 
I don't have much to say in the way of criticism. If I were forced, I would say that Don as a character is a bit under developed. But, of course, he is crazy, and the whole point is figuring out  what happened to him.  
Hook and plot- I love the ambiance you create in this first chapter, it is so reminiscent of the third world. It really does not seem from this scene that Don will be an important character, and I am curious whether you will bring Khadi back, or whether she is just a mechanism for the scene.  The ambiance really hooked me, but reading about Shay in Seattle hooked me again with the appealing humour of her character. 
I thought you developed the plot very well. You manage to give us just enough background to make her desire for Don'a return anticipated, and then you satisfy it with a twist. I really enjoyed the way his father dealt with the mixed emotions. 
You are setting up for a road trip plot, and I think you have set up well. You have a good juxtaposition of her obvious love for Don and his insane love for this random other lady. 
Character development- this is very much a character- driven story. I am very fond of Shay. She is very endearing and funny in her slightly pathetic way. I thought you developed her very well, effectively showing her situation at home and work, her relationship with her mother, coworkers and, of course, Don. 
Don, again I am unsure about. He is not terribly well-developed. However, it would be odd if he were. He is the mystery that's bringing the story around. Still, I go back and forth between wanting him to be a stronger character, and being satisfied to wait until clarity comes later on.
I like your minor characters too, particularly Don's father, Shay's mother and, of course, Patel. 
Ambiance-  part of the reason why I like this book so much is because I like Bollywood movies. This inclusion is part of the ambience in and of itself. I hope that you go into some are the plots of the Bollywood movies. They really add a comic twist to the  story. I already talked about the first chapter ambiance, which was great, but I also like the way you develop ambiance in Washington state. 
Comedy- I found this a breezy, funny read.  Although there were few LOL moments (the bit of slapstick where she falls over backwards is an exception) I think it is successful comic writing. 
Four happy faces. 
High stars, and I will find a place for it on my shelf soon. 
Best of luck with it,
Maeve

Nathan O'Hagan wrote 649 days ago

Read 3 chapters, and while i wouldnt normally go for anything as light or whimsical as this, i was very impressed with your writing style. This seems to be at quite an advanced stage of writing, it is well edited, the characters are endearing and well drawn.
The whole thing flows very nicely. High stars.

Lenny Banks wrote 652 days ago

Hi Daniel, I read chapter 4. This is a facinating commentry on culture and peer pressure influence. After reading the passage I wasnt sure if Shay should go with Don or not myself. I felt intimately invlved in the conversation and ejoyed being part of it. I found it easy to read and follow I think you have a great story.

Kindest Regards and Best Wishes
Lenny Banks: Tide and Time: At The Rock.

Cara Gold wrote 655 days ago

{Indian Summer} – Daniel Rider
An interesting premise with the promise of a unique twist, I eagerly began to read.

Loved the opening chapter; you captured the world through Khadi’s eyes well, and I enjoyed the portrayal of stereotypes in movies… as well as the mystery associated with the American in the theatre. I immediately wanted to read on because of this, and also given Khadi isn’t mentioned in the pitch, you left me intrigued!

Chapter two is nicely done, I like the transitions between past and present. I loved the scene where Don and Shayla met at school, and the mood you build during the test – the association of the way she was feeling then to the feeling you get ‘when somebody you care about is about it touch you’ is terrific. Conveys the emotions well, without making it seem like it’s going to turn into a cliché love at first sight type of thing. Great cliff-hanger ending too.

Chapter three… damn you keep me in suspense! I like the way we learn more about Shayla/her room mate/life… and at the back of the reader’s head there’s that yearning to know what’s going on with Don. In a way we know from the pitch, but still you keep the tension and suspense going!

Congratulations this has been very enjoyable so far and I look forward to returning in the near future. Best of luck in the meantime and six stars for you! Thanks also for your lovely comment on my book :)
Sincerely,
Cara
------
p.s. I just made a few more detailed notes as I went, hope something here might be useful!

Chapter 1
For ‘and as she spit them onto the floor’ should it be ‘and as she spat them onto the floor’? I’m not sure…

‘He had a high forehead, blonde hair parted at the side’ → this should be ‘blond’ without the e, because it is for a male (feminine = with e)

Chapter 2
I’d reword; ‘I’d smiled and nodded’ to ‘Smiling and nodding, I’d ignored the tendril of nausea…’ that way the sounds of two ‘ed’ verbs don’t follow the ‘I’d’, does that make sense?

Perhaps ‘more deeply ::at:: my reflection’, just a thought, because you look at something rather than into, unless it’s into water.. oh I suppose it could be either! Just pointing it out

I’d say ‘the distortion ::appeared:: right where my face was, and it made…’ that way removes the double ‘was’ in the sentence

Chapter 3
At a few points, I would merge the short sentences so there isn’t as many of them in rapid succession. They are excellent to convey the thoughts and make the action crisp and fast, just a few times it felt a little disjointed, just to me!

ceejezoid wrote 656 days ago

Hi Daniel!

I'm very sorry that I only have time to read 3 chapters of this right now, as I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Its definitely one for the 'list of books to come back to'!.

You've got a great voice with Shayla - just the right side of neurotic without being annoying. I love the first meet with Don, and the Klingon costume - it hints at a long standing friendship and promises real quirks to be developed. You've also mastered the technique of giving me a lot of information without needing to state it all in detail - the introduction to "Heather and her current boyfriend" tells me all I need to know, where less talented writers would probaby give me her entire relationship history and why she is a flake!

I'm trying hard to think of constructive things to say, but I'm coming up short. You've no typos that I can see. The only line that stood out as a little out of place was in chapter 1 "always found something lacking in their performances" sounds a wee bit too grown up for a kid going to the cinema. I also thought maybe a bit of sensory description in there, but I don't actually think you need it as it accomplishes its purposes as it is!

6 stars and I'll be checking back in!

Casimir Greenfield wrote 659 days ago

The sense of time and place in your work is so accomplished that I was several pages in before I even thought about your writing style. One of my favourite film directors is Fellini and in one of his films the action takes place in a makeshift cinema. Your scenes gave me some of that again - wonderful chaos in unspohisticated settings - so unlike the sanitised popcorn experience of today. The film references throughout are nicely nuanced, so that they remind, but do not distract.

I have only had time to dip in and out, but the feel of the book is very assured, very confident. Not once did I doubt the accuracy of the settings or the depth behind the characters.

Your writing flows with ease and makes for a fine read. I never comment on typos or punctuation unless it screams at me. No screaming here. You have obviously edited carefully before unleashing your work on the waiting world.

I have watch listed the book and given high stars. In general I only back a complete book (I need to see how a writer has drawn the story to its conclusion...) but I will be back for a fuller read.

Fine work. Nice hat. What more do you need?

Olivia wrote 679 days ago

Hi Daniel,

I have just read your five chapters and thoroughly enjoyed it. Your style of writing reminds me of my own, and strangely my novel is about a young India girl who has a passion for Indian movies! Your style is very clear, your characters intriguing and you have a very confident flow to your writing, which moves the reader along at an eager pace. I am adding you to my bookshelf. Well done and good luck with it. Please read Elastic Girl when you get time. Thks, Olivia

Tod Schneider wrote 686 days ago

This is absolutely stellar! One of my favorites on the site, for sure. I've gotten jaded from so much reading, so it takes a lot to really hold me, and this one does. Great, exotic setting, fine pacing, wonderful voice -- you've got it all! I'll get this up on the shelf when I get an opening. Meanwhile six stars and a WL.
And by the way, I'm nearby, sort of -- in eugene, or.
Cheers,
and
You are invited to please take a look at my kid lit novel, The Lost Wink.
Thanks!
Tod
http://authonomy.com/books/40646/the-lost-wink/

Sharda D wrote 690 days ago

Hi Daniel,
here for our reading swap.
I loved this. It drew me in from the beginning, with the lovely atmosphere of Chp1, complete with sucked oranges, VCR and bench cinemas, the enigmatic American and the plaintive cry of, "They never danced. And they never sang."
In Chapter 2 there is less sensory stimulation, so it feels less atmospheric. That's understandable, but the drop off is palpable. I like the recreation of school life, with all it's tribalism and peer pressure. That was well done and the end of this section "And the Klingon winked" is charming.

Your writing is excellent and flows very well. I din't notice any typos, but I was engaged throughout and for this tired Mum, that's a wonderful achievement. Your sensory detail is excellent and I would have liked to have more of this, but as it stands, it is pretty amazing.
I will keep you watchlisted and try to shelve you in the next few weeks, but I have a bit of a backlog at the moment, sorry.
In the meantime, here's 6 stars,
Sharda.
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

jlbwye wrote 692 days ago

Indian Summer.
Ch.1. Oh - we're in Africa! Wonderful -
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.
How / why did Khadi think her shadow fantastic, I wonder?
There are some vague / unnecessary words which are better searched out and for the most part deleted, as they spoil the flow of a story: always, almost, also, already, obvious/ly, apparently (Ch.2) just (Ch.4) apparently, also.

It is such a natural thing for an African child to love singing and dancing, and a good way to open your story.
And an intriguing mystery, with the American - providing a hook to the next chapter.

Ch.2. What acontrast. You have portrayed so well both Khadi and Shayla - two very different characters in contrasting settings with one person in common - Don. I must click on...

Ch.3. You certainly know how to structure a plot - and keep your reader in suspense. Your writing flows, for the most part, easily and smoothly.

Ch.4. Take care to avboid repeating words close together: always, optimism.
Dr. Smith stretching his lips briefly into a smile, speaks volumes (I think you can do without the 'quickly').
I love the narrator's subtle sense of humour, and the naturalness of your style.

Ch.5. I am breathless at the pace of your book. Shay's character is appealing, and I just have to know what unlikely happening comes next.

There are some minor edits to be done, but I look forward to reading on when you post more chapters.

Thankyou for your continued support, and please forgive me for being so slow to read yours.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 698 days ago

Daniel,
The quantum leap from Klingon to Indian held me captive, trying to find out what would motivate Don to switch from nerdy to bizarre. I certainly shared the same consternation Shayla had toward her almost-boyfriend, having contracted some mental disease from the water in Asia. Your writing style is straightfoward and easy to follow, making the read sheer delight. Thank you for sharing.,

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Lena M. Pate wrote 700 days ago

Daniel;

Excellent book. I was grabbed immediately and ran from chapter to chapter, enthralled by the characters and their individual stories. So far what you have posted is excellent. I will definitely be recommending this.

Lena

fatema wrote 700 days ago

Absolutuely fine writing though a bit plain for its title 'indian summer'. i am afraid to be negative here, though could not help, You are quiet type of personality i asume.
You have explained the rituals, outfit and sandles. Not much of gesture in your explanation, then again, may be you were careful of offending.
Indian summer should have expalnation full of activiites, expressions, both facial and body lannguage of people, movements, colours and dancing, etc. Can you see here.
You talked about Indian cinema. That does not create intriquingness picture of passion peope have about them. You know what i mean.
However, your writing is absolutely immaculate.

subra_2k123 wrote 702 days ago

An intrinsic study of cultures and nice pace with smooth transitions. Highly starred and backed with pleasure. I will comment further after finishing the rest of the chapters.

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

Dianna Lanser wrote 703 days ago

Hi Daniel,

Indian Summer is one of those books that grabs you and sucks you in. I literally devoured the rest of your chapters this morning. You have a wonderful way of leading the reader with a deliberately suspenseful plot. It was so enthralling that I found myself skimming over details just so I could find out why Don had come home and why his parents seemed so bothered.

Don is a quirky, passionate individual and no doubt, he going to Shayla on a strange adventure of a lifetime which is maybe exactly what she needs.

I found your writing to move along quickly and easily. It didn’t take much effort on my part to read. Your characters were easy to understand, the plot flowed smooth and details were well thought out. I love books like this - highly satisfying and entertaining - something you can grab and go. I think this is going to be received very favorably here. Six stars!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Isoje David wrote 704 days ago

six stars for this.


Isoje David
Animal In Paradise

Isoje David wrote 707 days ago

Hi

I love your writing. I am really envious of it. See i have rated six stars

Isoje David

Animals in Paradise

Paul Beattie wrote 715 days ago

Really enjoyed this, Daniel. Very highly starred and on my watchlist so I can read on.

The writing feels extremely polished with almost no typos/formatting problems/grammatical slip ups etc to interrupt the narrative flow. The prose has a good blend of simple and direct storytelling to move the narrative along and more elaborate/involved phrasing/descriptive passages to set a specific scene or depict a character’s mindset/mood etc. I particularly liked the narrative perspective in the opening chapter. Despite the third person POV, the reader is very much seeing the story unfold from Khadi’s perspective. Subtly and very persuasively done.

Both Khadi and Shayla come across as extremely likeable, complex, appealingly flawed characters and I’m enjoying spending time in their company. I’ve only read the opening three chapters so I haven’t really got a handle on Don’s character yet, but I’m looking forward to seeing how Shayla and Don interact.

The dialogue feels real and purposeful and helps both to add energy to the scenes and subtly flesh out the various characters.

The chapters seem very well structured, with a good mix of action, dialogue and character introspection and subtly tantalising climactic plot hooks to encourage the reader to read on. The plot sounds original and multi-layered and, with its blend of drama, pathos, comedy, cultural escapism etc, should appeal to a broad cross-section of readers.

In short, a very professional, beautifully written, warm and witty opening. Thanks and best of luck. P


I made some notes on the opening chapter as I went along. Feel free to ignore!!

‘enjoying the slippery feel against her skin’ – terrifically vivid, sensory phrasing.

‘It looked fantastic’ – a bit weak/vague?? do you mean fantastic-strange or fantastic-good??

‘That morning [comma]’

Having the English translation of the Arnie film does remove me slightly from the moment. If it’s important to know the name of the film (I can't imagine it really is??), maybe have Khadi make some sort of oblique reference to what the film is about etc??

‘les Etats Unis’ – feels like a rather clunky bit of cultural scene setting??

The shift between K describing why she likes Bollywood films to her talking about gossip etc feels a bit abrupt?? Maybe linger a bit longer on why she likes Indian films so much??

Love the mention of Vimto!!

‘orange exterior of the skin’ a bit clunky?? maybe simply ‘zest’??

‘And the American?’ Khadi continued in French. – I don’t really understand why you have some phrases in French and then revert to an English translation of French?? I don’t think you need to include any ‘French’ dialogue (it feels rather forced/stilted and, again, a slightly blatant attempt to instil some cultural realism into the scene: much better, in my opinion, to simply make clear Khadi and the stall holder are talking in French but keep the dialogue in English) but, once you do, I think you should stick with it??

‘closely situated’ – not sure what you mean here??

‘families like Khadi’s [delete ‘own’??]’

I really like the 'chewing on sticks to clean their teeth' detail.

‘blond’ not ‘blonde’ (male not female)

‘transcend his surroundings’ – in what way?? doesn’t feel quite right??

‘the same Rodin pose’ – given that we’re very much in Khadi’s POV, this doesn’t feel right??

Repetition of intense/intensely/intensity re Don’s expression. Maybe think of another way of describing how he appears to Khadi??

Love the way Khadi describes the villain as simply ‘the bad man’. There are lots of terrifically evocative, appealingly simple, almost innocent phrases like this in the opening chapter which really help to bring Khadi's character alive. Such a clever way to allow the reader to experience the story from her perspective.

‘villain caught in his hostile action’ – not sure what this means?? also, POV-wise, doesn’t feel right??

‘swelling crescendo’ – again, POV-wise this jars a bit??

Find it hard to believe Khadi would have confided her interest in the American to her mother??

patio wrote 716 days ago

I read the first chapter. I like the story. Khadi kept me entertained

Mumsie 1 wrote 716 days ago

Daniel;
I just finished reading the chapters you have out here and did like the humorous spin on the different cultures. You set the scenes well and the reader gets drawn right in.
Your dialogue moves the story along nicely and seems very natural.
Highly stared and will get back to it if you release more:)
Nice job;
Elke
'Ella In Between'

christiandelacroix wrote 725 days ago

Having read many of the chapters in the development phase, I have to say that, I enjoyed watching the charaters take shape. Daniel's writing is easy to read, witty, and will cause you to evaluate your views on different cultures and how they fit in with the typical North American culture. Excellent story, Daniel. Can't wait to purchase my copy.

Wynnae wrote 725 days ago

I'm really looking forward to this book! I was sucked in right away, so curious to see what happens next!! Nice easy flow to the read.

Ellen Michelle wrote 726 days ago

This book is not my type of thing :L
But i gave it a go the other day.
Its a very well written book, good details.
I've rated it a 3 star.
EllenMichelle :)
'A Model's Summer'

AllenRivera wrote 727 days ago

A very well written book. I thourghly enjoyed the fine details in the story, They add to the pictures formed in my mind making me feel as if I was there. I would enjoy reading another novel Daniel. When is it coming out?

Adeel wrote 731 days ago

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Atieno wrote 731 days ago

Hi Daniel,
Just began reading Indian Summer and I think its so clever how you weave all the cultures and people! I laughed at how you praise Hollywood and Bollywood and what many(African,gender) Think about them!lo
This is a well written piece and did not find any nit pik! Good.
I am watchlisting it for more reading but you get my highest star right away!
Josphine

ddrader wrote 733 days ago

Having already read this book, I know that it's wonderful, and those who have just started down Don and Shayla's long path will want to come back for the full release.

sodyt wrote 733 days ago

Hi Dan This story of yours about Shayla and Don shapes up really promisingly. Not enough available yet to get my teeth really into it but it is obviously going to develop into something quite special.. Well starred and on my WL awaiting space on my shelf. Best of luck Eric

J C Michael wrote 735 days ago

This isn't my usual reading matter yet I found myself reading all you have uploaded and if there had been another chapter I'd have read that too. This is well written, no glaring typos, and it has an easy going, whimsical, air to it that makes it a very gentle read.
The characters ate well drawn and likeable and I honestly think you could be onto something here.
As I said, not my usual cup of tea, but it's good, in fact, it's very good. Highly started from me and I wish you all the best with it. Well done.
James

katemb wrote 738 days ago

Great opening chapter. The girl watching the movie and also the American is an excellent piece of scene making. Loved it.
When I got into chapter two I was a wee bit put off by all the rhetorical questions from a character I didn't know. That said, as soon as she is dreading being offered the job she engaged me completely.
I'm really impressed by Indian Summer. High stars and I'll try and come back and read more.
Best
Kate
The Licenser

ErikUC wrote 738 days ago

These first few chapters were a lot of fun. It looks like Don is shaping out to be a full character in the early pages. One of the best genres around is the “Road Trip”, and I’m sure this is going to crack up to be a great adventure. The reader could only imagine what sort of craziness could ensue on a drive across the country with a character like Don. Mr. Rider has a comfortable writing style that is enjoyable to read--I’ll look forward to seeing the finished product.

Cutie Wing wrote 740 days ago

Love the book, can't wait to read more!

Raja Shin wrote 742 days ago

This book is very well-written, and it made me excited to read more and wonder what's gonna happen..
I really enjoyed your book and am hoping to read more!!!!

rikasworld wrote 743 days ago

I have read and enjoyed all the chapters you have uploaded. This is really something a bit different. It's very well written, not a false note except - I think anyway- talking about a sucky life sounds a bit juvenile for the age of your character. I loved the first chapter from the little girl's view point. Some parts I thought were exceptional like when Shay and Don first meet and you write '...and look.' '...and look.' I think that is brilliant. You establish Don's attractive, slighly eccentric personality very cleverly. His bookshelf is another neat trick to help us understand him and his nose. I'm not sure that Shay comes over as strongly as the other two characters so far anyway. I like the odd conversations with Don's odd father which set up the suspense and make us wonder what's going on with Don.
I hope this will do well! On my watchlist and high stars.

1