Ed

Marvelous re-writing of the Biblical story of Job by a very talented writer! God has given you a very special gift, Shain - you are a very creative writer and, as an avid reader, I would buy this book. In fact, I became so involved in your story by chapter 11 that I would run out and buy it right now if it were published just to see how you end up this retelling of Job. I'm really wondering how you will work the story out so that Ed will see Jenny and Gretchen again once he's finished his tasks!

Your characters are full-bodied and extremely well developed. Ed's suicide attempt is very well done - beautiful description of hurricane Deborah - and a realistic turn for you to give your modern-day Job! Tyre was a perfect temptor. And Gabe, Chris, and Mike, the angel surfers, just lifted my heart - I'm so glad you kept them throughout the whole uploaded portions of your book. They're comments were truly inspiring and faith-strengthening.

Shain, you have really conveyed how God loves us and protects and guides us. I'm certain He will use your marvelous little book to His glory and I truly hope it gets published. Here are my prayers for its success :-) and a bunch of stars! Pat

Dear Shane

Thank you for inviting me to read "Ed". I have read the first three chapters this evening and am very pleased to be the first to leave a comment.

The style of your writing here is so very different from your earlier upload on Authonomy, "Trippin", that I was taken by surprise.

What you offer us in your modern-day story of Job is a likeable take on the old story, filled with emotion and pathos. I feel for Ed in his suffering, and wonder how it will come out in the end. I plan to read more to find out.

Your characterisations are very good: realistic and well observed . There is a suppressed power in your MS which comes from your very straight delivery. Not embroidered or over stated. That works well in a story of this sort. The story moves and builds slowly but surely.

You have a very clean MS and a calm, straight delivery which is very readable. Occasionally, I felt there was an overuse of "Edward Finkle", since there is no doubt who is your MC. You might like to experiment with reading aloud some passages, to see what works best. Personally I feel that your passages of dialogue and everyday observation of the lives of your characters, are very strong and contain some of your best writing.

I wish you every success with this and with your other pieces. You are a very competent and engaging writer.

Fran Macilvey xx :-)

Hi Shain,

I have read seven chapters of your book and have felt the anguish, the grief and the pain holding Ed in their grip. You are a gifted writer, and this message of faith should touch the hardest heart. Keep up the good work. High stars.

Shain, I cant comment about Job because I am not familiar with the story. Perhaps it is better for me that I am not. i can judge it as something new and fresh; which I do. will continue later (trying to read a little of three books a day)

i feel like job sometimes! i can relate to this story. very engaging. i think the long pitch is a bit weak, as it overuses the word "love" and could be swapped for a better word once or twice, as well as the word "goes". nit-picky, perhaps, but the long pitch comes off elementary.
j
what every woman should know

Marvelous re-writing of the Biblical story of Job by a very talented writer! God has given you a very special gift, Shain - you are a very creative writer and, as an avid reader, I would buy this book. In fact, I became so involved in your story by chapter 11 that I would run out and buy it right now if it were published just to see how you end up this retelling of Job. I'm really wondering how you will work the story out so that Ed will see Jenny and Gretchen again once he's finished his tasks!

Your characters are full-bodied and extremely well developed. Ed's suicide attempt is very well done - beautiful description of hurricane Deborah - and a realistic turn for you to give your modern-day Job! Tyre was a perfect temptor. And Gabe, Chris, and Mike, the angel surfers, just lifted my heart - I'm so glad you kept them throughout the whole uploaded portions of your book. They're comments were truly inspiring and faith-strengthening.

Shain, you have really conveyed how God loves us and protects and guides us. I'm certain He will use your marvelous little book to His glory and I truly hope it gets published. Here are my prayers for its success :-) and a bunch of stars! Pat

Slow paced at first to set the mood, but it is done well. The reader has a chance to see what things were like for your MC.
The idea is very good and develops well with a lot of newness to it.
The title is very different but creative.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my Christian pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Shain - the more I read the better it gets. I'm backing the book - 5 stars ... bring it!
Enos

Shain, I can't stress enough the emotion that you've given to Ed. I've never been in his shoes, but the way this is told allows me to at least to feel what he's feeling and gain a true sense of why he is doing what he's doing. Very believable and strong characterizations with the surfer dudes. WIth our recent rash of storms, I think this story speaks to individuals that are facing very different issues (albeit, outside of the storm itself), personal issues, financial issues etc. This is Ed's story and we hardly ever get to here the personal storm of some people before the storms. Those stories just aren't told. Good job! Keep it up.
Thomas C.

Shain, I can't stress enough the emotion that you've given to Ed. I've never been in his shoes, but the way this is told allows me to at least to feel what he's feeling and gain a true sense of why he is doing what he's doing. Very believable and strong characterizations with the surfer dudes. WIth our recent rash of storms, I think this story speaks to individuals that are facing very different issues (albeit, outside of the storm itself), personal issues, financial issues etc. This is Ed's story and we hardly ever get to here the personal storm of some people before the storms. Those stories just aren't told. Good job! Keep it up.
Thomas C.

Excellent story. I love the dialogue and the action. Ed's efforts make him a modern epic hero. Your stories testify to your ability to write - you are not confined to one genre. Keep at it!

I thnk you have great potential. Just want to encourage you to tone down the profanity. I get what you're doing, but there are better ways to illustrate angry. Perhaps just use body language for example.

Dear Shane

Thank you for inviting me to read "Ed". I have read the first three chapters this evening and am very pleased to be the first to leave a comment.

The style of your writing here is so very different from your earlier upload on Authonomy, "Trippin", that I was taken by surprise.

What you offer us in your modern-day story of Job is a likeable take on the old story, filled with emotion and pathos. I feel for Ed in his suffering, and wonder how it will come out in the end. I plan to read more to find out.

Your characterisations are very good: realistic and well observed . There is a suppressed power in your MS which comes from your very straight delivery. Not embroidered or over stated. That works well in a story of this sort. The story moves and builds slowly but surely.

You have a very clean MS and a calm, straight delivery which is very readable. Occasionally, I felt there was an overuse of "Edward Finkle", since there is no doubt who is your MC. You might like to experiment with reading aloud some passages, to see what works best. Personally I feel that your passages of dialogue and everyday observation of the lives of your characters, are very strong and contain some of your best writing.

I wish you every success with this and with your other pieces. You are a very competent and engaging writer.

Fran Macilvey xx :-)