Book Jacket

 

rank 4566
word count 81393
date submitted 07.04.2012
date updated 23.01.2013
genres: Literary Fiction, Historical Fictio...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Lord of All: The Legend of Richard and Anne

S. Lewis

Prince Richard and Lady Anne fall in love, but there can never be a match between them. Nobles do not marry for love.

 

Richard’s rival, King Philip of France finds that he, too, has feelings for Anne—but does he love her only because Richard does? As the characters try to navigate their way through conquest and crusade, they find that duty, honor, and chivalry can be harsh mistresses without regard for love. Can they survive the journey with their honor intact?

Lord of All is written in the tradition of a Medieval Romance but palatable to the modern reader. Human qualities of the historical characters in the book are exposed as they struggle through issues of love, sex, marriage, family, and make choices in situations where right or wrong are not clear.


 
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castles, chivalry, crusades, friendship, historical fiction, knight, legends, medieval, nobility, philip ii, richard i

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Chapter 30

 

Richards fleet did not meet him at Marseilles as planned. Instead, it stopped in Lisbon and the crusading spirit got the best of them. The men were hungry for an adventure, and when they found Muslims living in Lisbon, they made that an excuse to pillage and plunder. As a result, they were late for their rendezvous with Richard and the army. An impatient Richard decided not to wait for them any longer than a week. He hired thirty merchant ships to transport himself and his army overseas. Splitting his army in half, he sent one group on ahead to Tyre with the Archbishop of Canterbury leading them. The Archbishop held orders to relieve the crusaders already besieging Acre.

The afternoon before they left, Richards chambers were lively. A steady flow of people traipsed in and out, making preparations for the following day’s journey. Some paid their respects to Richard, others consulted the king on various matters concerning the journey, while others packed and hauled the royal cargo to the boats. Anne visited a couple of times, but did not stay long. When the crowd thinned, Richard was left in the room with Blondel, Andrew, and Baldwin. They heard a rustle behind a large chest, and Baldwin drew his sword. “In the name of the king, come out!

To their surprise, Will popped out from his hiding place. Boy, what are you doing there? Andrew motioned him forward. How long have you been there?

Will stood up as tall as he could. I came to ask Uncle a question, but I did not want to disturb him.” He added, I came in with my mother.

Baldwin approached Will. Will, I am regretful, but the King is very busy at present. Can it wait?

No, Baldwin. It is quite alright. Obviously he has something on his mind, and it will be a long time before I see this young pup again. Richard motioned for Will to come to him.

Will came around the trunk and walked up to Richard. He gave a little bow to show proper respect. The men tried hard not to chuckle at his awkwardness. Will could read the expression on their faces, so he put on his most serious façade. Now Will, what seems to be the matter? Richard continued to gather papers on the table next to him. Andrew and Baldwin returned to packing weaponry in oilcloth. Blondel strummed his instrument.

Will hesitated for a moment then blurted out, Are you my father?

All the men stopped what they were doing and looked at Will. I beg your pardon?” Richard was not sure he heard the boy correctly.

Uncle, I wish to know if you are my real father. I heard people talking, and some say that you are.” Will looked afraid to be punished for what he said.

Oh Will, I… Richard pulled a chair over so he could be at the boys eye level. Will, what has your mother told you?

“Mother says that you are my godfather, and that I am to call you Uncle. She also told me I am not your son, but because you are my godfather, you take care of me in place of my father.

She is telling you the truth, Will. I am not your father, but I swore I would look after you like a father.

Wills eyes filled with tears, and his chin quivered. “What is it Will?

Will looked down at the ground. I wish you were my father. If I promise not to want to be king, could I be your son?

Unfortunately, it does not work like that. Richard could see the desperation on Wills face. Think of it this way; in a way, you are my son. You are my godson and always will be. He thought for a moment. Will, what has your mother told you about your father?

She will not really talk about him. When I ask, she gets mad, and says only that he left us to go on Crusade, and you watch after us. She told me that we should not bother you with things because you are king and are busy with plans for the Crusade.” Will sighed.

Oh, I see. Richard wrestled with himself for a moment over just how much to tell the boy. In a way, he felt that Anne should be the one to do it, but he could not blame her for not speaking of Raymond. He decided that it was more important that Will know that his godfather was better than his real father. Will, it is true. Your father has gone on Crusade, but the only reason he went on Crusade was so that I would not find him and take revenge on him for what he did to your mother. 

Richard placed his hand on Wills shoulder. Your father wanted to marry your mother because she was the heiress to Marseilles. He kidnapped her from my castle in Poitiers and forced her to marry him. He hurt her very badly, Will. I was able to rescue her but I was not able to find him in time. He slipped away on Crusade. Every now and then reports come back from Palestine regarding your father. I do believe he is still alive, but he can never come back here, or he will be punished for his crime. Your mother does not like to speak of this because it makes her remember a very sad time in her life. Do you understand what I have told you?

Will nodded. Richard looked into Wills eyes and worried that he had not conveyed the correct meaning to the child. Will, your mother loves you very much. Everything she does is to insure you inherit Marseilles. In fact, your mother may have been able to annul her marriage to your father, but if she did, that would make you illegitimate. That means you would not be anybodys son, and you wouldn’t be able to inherit Marseilles.

Will chewed on his lower lip for a moment. Will you find my father in the Holy Land?

It is very likely. 

If he finds my mother, will he take her again?

That will not happen. I give you my word.

Will you kill him? If you did, wouldnt I be nobodys son then? Why does Mother have to go? Are you making her go with you? I heard someone say that she should stay here in Marseilles and let you handle her business, but you will not let her do that.” Will fired questions at Richard.

One thing you must learn about your mother is that no one makes her do anything.” Richard chuckled. “And you must not listen to rumors you hear people say. They are jealous of her. Your mother is going because she wants to see to the interests of Marseilles overseas. She is doing this to strengthen your inheritance.

Will pouted. I do not think it is fair. I should be able to come too. It sounds like an adventure.

Believe me, it is not easy for your mother to leave you, but it is for the best. I agree completely with her there. Will, Marseilles, this city, he pointed out the window, it is all to be yours someday. You need to learn of it. You must live here to understand it so you can rule it wisely. Cousin Etienne, Master More, and Nanette, they all want to help you. I know you will miss your mother, but you will be so busy here, that when she returns, it will seem as if she were hardly gone.

They heard a soft knock on the door. Richard nodded at Baldwin who opened it. Anne burst into the room looking frantic. Richard, Will is…” she caught sight of him. Both he and Richard looked at Anne with the same expression of mischief. Oh Will! She stamped her foot. Thank heaven. I have been looking all over for you, Son.

“I have been here, Mother,” Will replied.

Anne took Will by the hand. Come, you mustnt pester Uncle. He is very busy. She looked at Richard. I am sorry, Sire.

“It is quite alright,” he responded, but before he could say anything else, Anne whisked the child from the room and the door shut behind them.

z

Not long after sunrise the next morning, Richard left the chateau. The men headed down the streets of the town to the port where Richards private galley, the Priombone, waited for him to board. Once again citizens poured out into the streets to cheer the men along the way. All the way to the port, the crowd threw flowers and rushes in their path. Richard noticed a group of Muslim children huddled in an alleyway, staring with curious wide eyes at the Crusaders.

Anne’s family galley, the Madeline, berthed next to the Priombone. She was slower getting out of the chateau than Richard. Taking leave of her relatives took a considerable amount of time. Etienne, Will, and even Nanette stood on the steps of the chateau to wish her farewell. Anne knelt down and gave Will a long embrace. Will tried to be brave. She pushed some of his black curls off his face. You must mind Master More and Nanette,” she admonished him.

Will only nodded his head, fighting back tears.

Mind your Latin lessons now, dear. I know you find them boring, but they are very important. When I return I expect you to be able to read and speak fluently in Latin. She gathered him again in her arms.

Will managed to choke out, I will Mother. 

“What is this?” Anne asked as Will held out a white kerchief. Is this for me?

With tears welling up in his eyes, the boy nodded his head.

She kissed his cheek. I will miss you, Son, but I shall return just as soon as I can. Promise me that you will always remember that I love you.

Will threw his arms around his mothers neck. She could feel his tears on her skin. It was hard to bear, and she looked up at Nanette for help. Nanette hobbled forward and took Will by the shoulders. Come now, William. The tide waits for no one, not even your mother.

Reluctantly, he let go of his mother and took up his brave stance again. Anne turned from the steps and, with the help of Etienne, mounted her horse. Turning back, she gave Will a cheery wave, and Will waved back. As she rode off, Anne looked back several times and waved in his direction until he was out of sight. Her heart began to ache, and now and then she held the kerchief up to her eyes to wipe away a tear. Then raised it up and waved it, hoping that Will could see her.

After Anne, Marguerite, and Gustave, Annes new private secretary, boarded the galley, they set sail into the Gulf of Lion. She climbed to the railing at the stern of the ship and watched Marseilles grow smaller and smaller. She looked to the cliff where she would always go to bid adieu to her father, hoping that Will might be there, and she waved the kerchief again. She watched as the people on the docks became only tiny specks, and the town a blur in the distance.  The red tiled roofs, and golden spires of Saint Victor’s Cathedral melted away. Even when the earthen tones of Marseilles’ building became a tiny dot, she strained to see it. When all she could see behind them was the azure sea, she gave way to tears and wondered when she would see Marseilles again, and wondered if she did the right thing.

 

Chapters

30

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Seringapatam wrote 388 days ago

The authors of the next three I am reading have not been on the site for a while but I feel that if I am reading them then I should comment on them. This one in particular reads very well and I think may do well. It is so well written and researched too. Nice flow, great characters and brilliant narrative. I enjoyed this and if the author came onto the site and pushed it, I can see it doing well.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Patty Apostolides wrote 523 days ago

Historical Fiction Review:
Chapters 1-6

This is a superbly written story, and so well researched that I felt as if I were there, taking all this in. The characters were very realistic with their hopes, dreams, and fears. The setting felt authentic and the details utilized all my senses.

I really liked Lady Anne, with her sensibilities, her wit, and her virtuous character. I also liked Richard and his growing love for her. He was sensitive to her wishes and caring enough to see that she was well after Raymond's nasty treatment of her.

I have placed it on my WL and look forward to reading the rest of the story.

I have given it a well deserved six stars, and will back soon. It deserves the Editor's Desk, for sure.

Best,
Patty
The Greek Maiden and the English Lord

HGridley wrote 613 days ago

Chapter One:
The appeal to the senses is very good. I also like the personification of the castle leering down at him and mocking him.
The detail of defending a castle made of butter = classic!
All the details are very well researched, and it’s like I’m actually there.
“the castellan, Roger de Lacy surrendered…” there should be another comma after “Lacy”
What is the meaning of the random Y?
The idea of a king grieving at a grave after a great victory is very intriguing. Great end to the first chapter; I want to keep reading on.
I’ve got lots to do, so I’ll return at another day to read more. Great beginning! You’ve begun on the right foot, and the tone you set is really absorbing. I like it. Often Medieval work is cliché and pat, and here you’ve given it life and color.
~Hannah

Eftborin wrote 652 days ago

Aha...you like medieval as i do. I think it was the wish of every school boy in my school-going days to be either Robin Hood or Richard Coeur de Lion. Of course as i do like that period in world history, detail to actual history are important. I like it and will read more...you may find mine an interesting read.
Pat

Shelby Z. wrote 674 days ago

This is a unique book on this site. There aren't many medieval books on here.
I like the way you write.
I think in the first chapter there is a ton of information, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good because we know where your coming from, but bad in that it could be too dry for some readers.
Anyways, I think that you develops this well and have a good use of words.
Good work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Egon R. Tausch wrote 674 days ago

Hist.Fict. Readers Grp
Dear Ms. J,

I wanted to continue reading your MS, but felt that too much time between chapters would hurt the flow, so I re-read from the start through ch 12. Will read on soon. Your story is moving swimmingly, and you have not compromised your historical setting as so many novels do. We are learning to think as they did. The suspense is building. I am, of course, now backing your book. A few nitpicks:

Ch 11:
----Computer glitch in lines of separation between "Richard and" and "Geoffrey have their lands...".
----"There is too great of risk of you being killed..." Suggest first "of" be changed to "a".

Ch 12:
----"Yes, yes, I am fully aware of that you have told the Queen." Something's wrong with this sentence.
----A few lines later you either need to run two paragraphs in dialogue together, or use a quotation mark before "You realize that once you give yourself to Richard...".
----3 more computer glitches, where your paragraphs are cut in half: "Besides, if I may be so bold...", "I do not pursue a marriage with Richard, nor will I..." and "Now I know that, I cannot release you."
----People probably had at least a version of "pain in the ass", but it can't help but strike readers as modern slang.
----You need a quote mark before "You know I trust them completely." or combine it with the previous paragraph. (Your paragraphs tend to be awfully short, anyway; short paragraphs tend to add a transparently false excitement.)
----"I guess I shall see you in..." "Guess" sounds slangy; suggest "Shall I see you in Poitiers then?"

Keep up the good work.

Regards,
Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents

Egon R. Tausch wrote 698 days ago

Hist.Fict.Readers Grp
Dear Ms J,

Have finally finished ch's 6-9 of your MS (I was delayed by trying to get back all my backings which Authonomy arbitrarily dropped). Queen Eleanor is very well portrayed; just as she comes across in history. Your plot is moving along very well. I am glad that you continue the history, and don't let it degenerate into just a modern love story. You have certainly done your research, and your writing style is spot on. I expect to put you on my shelf when I have read a little further. I hope you don't mind nitpicks; the ones below are interspersed with praise.

Ch 6:
"stonewalls" -- -- should be two words.
Typo: "...room where her favorite" -- -- should be "were"
"When the tapestries...truly home." -- -- One of the best lines on Authonomy; tells us volumes about the tapestries and Eleanor.
Paragraph beginning "Eleanor stopped pacing..." -- -- you go back and forth between Henry's, and it is difficult, since you have never before mentioned Henry II, to tell whether you are talking about father or son. This again occurs in your 3 paragraphs "Ah, but do not forget Louis...to meet Louis in Paris." You mention "Henry", father or son [?], 5 times, all mixed.
"Richard wonderd why..." -- -- should be "wondered"

Ch 7:
Your part on the chest called "the Reliquary..." is brilliant detail, without detracting from the action.
"Three maybe four hours..." -- -- suggest comma after "Three".
"Henry never, nor would he ever..." -- -- suggest comma after "ever".
Typo: last line in ch -- -- "grateaful" -- -- should be "grateful".

Ch 8:
"I arrest you in the name of the king Henry." -- -- suggest you drop "the", but capitalize "King".
Last line, suggest comma after "Channel".

Ch 9:
Suggest that you indicate to the reader that you have moved back to the narrative started in your Prologue. I, for one, had forgotten that Broase was telling the story.
"Soon enough, believe you me,..." -- -- last phrase is modern slang.
"Richard grumped..." -- -- is there such a word? A cross between "grumbled" and "harrumphed"?
"...sons put together haphazardly" -- -- strikes me as slangy. "Matilda's husband..." -- -- should be combined with previous paragraph. I would be very confused about the family relationships described by Geoffrey if I weren't a historian of the period.
You imply that William the Marshal is not only fickle in his loyalties but promiscuous with women. I've read 2 biographies of William, and there is no evidence of either characteristic.
You drop the death of Rosamond like a bomb, apparently well after the fact.

Ch 10:
"exchequer" means "from the chequered hall" (the English Treasury). Drop the "ex" if you mean a different hall.
"When it came time..." -- -- you again have "exchequer", and "brimed" for "brimmed"; and I doubt a thousand knights could be in attendance in any hall that isn't a major cathedral.
You mention an "empty plate" -- -- Didn't they still use hollowed out loaves ("trenchers") instead of plates?
"Eleanor convinced..." -- -- I would put "had" after "Eleanor".
"No, I apologize." -- -- suggest comma be a period.
Three paragraphs later -- -- you again use "exchequer", again.
Next paragraph -- -- you have the word "stopped" with 3 p's.
"a frantic wrapping" -- -- should be "rapping".
"...to grab his hand again, but he caught it." -- -- Caught what?
Second time Richard says "God's leg" -- -- suggest you change it (God's wounds?).

Despite all my nitpicks, you are a great story-teller. Will continue reading.

Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents

Andrew Hughes wrote 717 days ago

(Historical Fiction group)

Hi Ms J,

I read the first three chapters and really enjoyed the story.

It’s a very vivid opening. I’m not sure you need the line: ‘As he closed his eyes to compose himself, he remembered in detail…’ and so on. You can just tell of the siege, the reader will know it’s the back-story. It would avoid you having to keep saying the description of the siege is Charles’s memory. Also, I don’t think Charles would have snickered to himself given the situation.

You describe action very well, like the catapult rocks hitting the walls, or the men spitting out the spray in the drain.

Occasionally you repeat words and phrases close together, which can chime a bit, but that’s easily fixed. I’d also try to use less exclamation points. It would help the speech sound more natural.

I like the portraits of Eleanor and Anne in Ch 1. And the characters and interactions at the banquet are well described. Raymond’s proposal to Richard in the next chapter is perfectly vile. I think it’s often best to use ‘said’ to describe speech, rather than words like ‘chided’ or ‘snapped’.

There’s no need to repeat your short pitch in the longer one. I think you could use the long pitch to give more details of the plot, as it’s quite a big book.

Overall this is a very good piece of historical fiction. Highly starred.

Best of luck with it,
Andrew.
The Morning Drop

jlbwye wrote 718 days ago

Lord of All. A Hist.Fict. read. Your short pitch is succinct, and rouses interest, but you do not need to repeat the concept in the long pitch. Instead, use the words to build up the characters and their emotions, with the broad sweep of your plot, perhaps?

I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert. I tend to notice nits - hope you dont mind?

Ch.1. Prologue. Great choice of words - 'profane stench', compounded by the vomiting later on. This is a striking opening for your book.

Do you want nits?
There are some vague / unnecessary words which spoil the flow of a story: rather, certainly, seemed to (Ch.2) just, rather.

And words repeated too often / too close together can jar on a descerning editor. Charles, breath/ing, rope, grave (Ch.2) Poitiers, court, count/ess.

You reveal some history and back-story through Charles's thoughts. Good technique.
For a moment there, I was thinking Charles had let out the chapel - not his breath - perhaps exhaled?

Yes - I, like Broase, think Charles is being brash and insensitive. Maybe he was lucky to get away with it!
So. A tale within a tale. A well contrived Prologue.

Ch.2. (Auth). You create a bustling, charming scene and introduce the practical Eleanor and the lovable Anne in an easy style.
Although it passes in the real world, such repetitions in dialogue as 'not to worry' are inadvisable on the printed page.
The dialogue between Anne and Millicent flows easily and naturally, while revealing more of their characters and advancing the story.
Promise of an appropriately romantic scene provides a hook to draw the reader on.

Ch.3. Oh - I wish to have more of their first intimations of love, but you have jumped over the episode.
However, you have captured their gaiety well in the repartee between Anne and Richard.
And that is a sudden, unsavoury action on Raymond's part.

Ch.4. A strong, enthralling beginning to this chapter. And enlightening, for I know very little of the time and customs of your period.
'Love is not the issue here, duty and honour are.'
Dont you mean Richard waited on the bench where he had seen Anne reading her letter the first time they met?

This romantic story is developing well in the tradition of historical fiction, between the folds of weightier matters.
I enjoy the light humour of their blossoming love, and the characters are coming alive against a background of heavy tradition.

Lots of stars.
Jane (Breath of Africa)

ceejezoid wrote 720 days ago

Hist Fiction Forum Review:

This is my first official review for the historical fiction forum. I picked yours as you seem to have given a lot more reviews than you have received!!!

Right, so. This is not a period of history I really know anything about. Mention Richard and John to me and the best I can do is Robin Hood! Probably a good thing, for review purposes, as I can be a bit of a control group for readers who don't know the back story.

I'm enjoying the plot. Read chapters 1-5, and Richard and Anne's relationship is shaping up well. She's got a mind of her own, she is sympathetic, she's strong willed. Richard seems a bit knee-weakening and swoony, so all good. Raymond is a great scoundral to set them off! The descriptions of his singing, or rather the listeners' reactions, were highly amusing!

I like the rumours and scandals circulating round court, its really breathing life into your settings and seems to fit with other stories from similar periods I've read, or at least my imagination of the period! The set up of Richard's pre-engagement and Anne's wealth (but presumned inability to inherit straight off, as she is a woman?) promises lots of great conflict.

The prologue is good, but a little info-heavy. I don't think you need so much about the siege, especially if you will be returning to it later. The horrible toilet shaft and the guarding of the grave in the chapel are, however, an intruiging start and a good hook for getting into the story.

Couple of little things:

Chapter one features noses quite prominently! Not sure if you were aware, but you describe at least 4 noses in the one chapter. Doesn't seem to happen again in what I have read.

I think there should be a break between Eleanor's first conversation with Anne and the start of the feast to clarify the time/location shift.

Right at the start of chapter 5 you use sleep twice in about 3 lines - "sleep still clung to their fumbling hands"(love this)..."sleep-ruffled hair"

Thoroughly enjoyable, have some stars!

Egon R. Tausch wrote 723 days ago

Hist. Fict. Forum Review
Dear S. Lewis, Your Prologue and first 4 ch's and half of 5 are outstanding. I am writing as a professional historian. Thank God you haven't fallen for the revisionists who claim that Richard was homosexual, on no real evidence. Your descriptions of chivalric customs of the time are spot-on (especially the "courts of love"). Your writing is formal enough, without being archaic. I do think that the last part of the ch 5 is a bit too modern, and not oblique enough (even kings followed the prevailing rules of seduction). Also, I doubt Anne would have been too worried about pregnancy: Kings and dukes rarely failed to ennoble their illegitimate children, especially if the mother was a rich Lady. Richard was well aware that he was a direct descendant, and owed his claim to the crown to being so, of William the Conqueror -- -- formerly, "Duke William the Bastard". Richard also had such a passionate view, and had the ability, to conquer far more lands, of which much would have gone to any bastards. Finally, his hatred of his brother John was such that he would have named any son, legitimate or not, his heir to the royal throne. The Middle Ages are chock-full of bastards who became earls, dukes, and even kings. And, of course, Richard finally had no heirs, of any sort, except his hated brother. (And he had William the Marshal, the greatest knight in Europe, to protect his child until he was grown.) Marshal with his army loyally and successfully protected 3 successive totally different named heirs to the throne, the last one a child, against all opposing powers. You might at least hint at some of this, in a line or two about bastardy at the time, for verisimilitude. Also, his protestation to that effect, would make the scene more in keeping with his character, and eye on the crown, rather than only sliding into a modern love scene. I'm sure I'll enjoy the rest of your book greatly, when I can get to it. You know your period very, very well, and are a great plot writer. 6 stars. Bookshelf soon.

"He is the sixth in line for the succession...Philip, Juan the cook, the master at arms, the pigs, the horses..." One of the best sentences I have read on Authonomy.

I only list nitpicks for outstanding MS's:

Prologue:
Broase shuts the same door twice in 4 lines.

Ch 1:
"...radiated more than some half her age." -- -- add "women" or "ladies" after "some".
"Like most noble women, Marie's father..." -- -- antecedent doesn't match subject of the sentence.
"She is the heir of the Viscount de Marseilles..." -- -- you have "wealth" and "wealthy" in 3 lines. Change one to "rich"?
"...she tried to stiffle her laughter." -- -- stifle?

Ch 2:
"Later in the week, a joust occurred." -- -- Would suggest a more active verb. "...came the joust."?

Ch 3:
Castile's friend refuses to answer a question which would reveal his principal. Then a bit later he gives Castile away by mentioning his mercenary motive. -- -- might add something like "He blurted, before realizing the consequences." It seems the whole court learned who the parties were due to that indiscretion.

Ch 5:
"...her lady Marguerite who she sent for some wine." -- -- should be "whom".

Great job,
Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents

P.S. Please read my MS and give me brutally honest comments.

earthlover wrote 729 days ago

Read through chapter 5. I admire the attention to detail and time that comes with writing an historic novel. I especially enjoyed the exchange of the flower on the morning ride. She'd been tearing them apart one at a time, but she didn't tear the petals off that one. Lovely!
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

earthlover wrote 730 days ago

Read the prologue. I love the idea of a soldier crawling through what is basically a sluice pipe, into a church to guard a grave. WOW! The contrast between the sewer and the church, the fact that they had to break the church glass, the battle, the King, wanting to be alone with the grave of his beloved. So far this is an awesome epic story. I've already given it high stars and will read on.

Adeel wrote 731 days ago

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive and realistic with vivid description and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Ms. J wrote 732 days ago

Kate,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read. I sincerely appreciate your comments. I've wondered about the opening scene myself. I do use Father Broase and Charles to help move the plot along as the book covers so many years. I'm still debating what to do with that. I will keep reading yours. Today was just insane and I couldn't get back to it. (Grrrrrrr!)

Cheers,
Ms. J

Ms. J wrote 732 days ago

Jack,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it. I also very much appreciate your comments. I've got your book on my watch list, and I will be reading it tomorrow. I meant to today, but things got crazy with a couple of students today and I ended up in meetings until late this evening.

Thanks again, Ms. J

katemb wrote 733 days ago

Hist Fict Review

Hi,
I have read and thoroughly enjoyed this up to the end of chapter 5. I'm enjoying the story of Anne and Richard very much. It reminds me of Katherine by Anya Seyton. I think you've got the pace of the story just right.
I had a couple of questions, rather than any suggestions.
Do you need the opening scene? I found the story of Charles climbing up into the castle was a little heavy on back story and didn't feel it added anything to my reading of the story, knowing that Richard and Anne are dead (I mean obviously they are dead now, but in the fictional world of your book they are not!)
How old was Richard I at the opening of the book? I wondered if a little more explanation of Eleanor's marriages would be appropriate and wanted to know what dates the court at Poitiers took place.
And lastly, I have a slight believability issue about Anne's conduct and Eleanor encouraging her to meet Richard. I enjoyed those parts tremendously so it was only a minor worry!
I'll give this lots of stars and keep it on my watch list for now. It's the kind of story I'd happy buy and read.
Best,
Kate

Jack1761 wrote 733 days ago

Hist. Fict. Read -- I hope I'm doing this right ;o)

I have read to chapter 3 so far, and I am greatly enjoying it. The time period is one that I don't know much about, but you do give good descriptions (if anything, I think you could be even more descriptive of the surroundings, fashions etc.) and seem to be comfortable with the period as such. The way the characters speak is perhaps a little too informal on occasion - expressions like "carry on" or when Eleanor says "...the lady in question is perhaps a bit too much for the knight..." (Ch. 3) sound off to me in the context of the time period.

The story itself certainly has the makings of an epic love story! The character of Anne is very likeable and well-drawn, and Richard is also shaping up. Anne's dilemma of facing a marriage of convenience instead of a love match is becoming very clear.

I will definitely keep on reading!

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