Book Jacket

 

rank 1648
word count 81393
date submitted 07.04.2012
date updated 23.01.2013
genres: Literary Fiction, Historical Fictio...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Lord of All: The Legend of Richard and Anne

S. Lewis

Prince Richard and Lady Anne fall in love, but there can never be a match between them. Nobles do not marry for love.

 

Richard’s rival, King Philip of France finds that he, too, has feelings for Anne—but does he love her only because Richard does? As the characters try to navigate their way through conquest and crusade, they find that duty, honor, and chivalry can be harsh mistresses without regard for love. Can they survive the journey with their honor intact?

Lord of All is written in the tradition of a Medieval Romance but palatable to the modern reader. Human qualities of the historical characters in the book are exposed as they struggle through issues of love, sex, marriage, family, and make choices in situations where right or wrong are not clear.


 
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castles, chivalry, crusades, friendship, historical fiction, knight, legends, medieval, nobility, philip ii, richard i

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Chapters

38

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Chapter 38

 

Vaguely aware of some strange repetitive sound crescendoing over and over again, Anne opened her eyes and looked around. Everything seemed to blur, but she finally recognized the sound of waves crashing. Realizing she lay in the shade of a rocky outcrop on the beach, it all started coming back to her. She remembered fighting the waves to avoid the rocks, and washing up on the beach. She dragged herself up the beach to lean against this rock and must have fallen asleep. Wondering how long she stayed unconscious, she tried to get up. As she pushed her body up, pain shot through her. She was sore, scratched, bruised, and battered. Tenderly, she managed to prop herself up against the rock and examined her body.

Her clothes were torn and one shoe missing. Despite being scratched raw, nothing seemed to be broken; for that she was grateful. She let out a long sigh and tried to take stock of the situation around her. Looking out over the ocean, she could see nothing of the ship, not even debris washed ashore. She realized that she was alone and had no idea where she landed. Then, a powerful thirst came over her. With caution, she struggled to her feet and looked about. Nothing seemed to be a source of fresh water. Then she tried to take a step forward but realized her ankle would bear no weight.

Terror overcame Anne. She thought of Will back in Marseilles and of Richard on his ship. She wondered if Richard encountered the same storm. Then another frightening thought came to her. What if she were the only one to survive the wreck?

Desperate and hopeless, she sank back down against the rock, and as she landed on the ground, something thudded against her chest. Looking down, she realized that by some miracle the ribbon with Richard’s ring still hung around her neck. She clutched the ring in her hands, and as she did, she realized the ribbon must have been pulled on with great forced as it dug into her neck and left sores. She wasnt sure whether to bless or curse the craftsman.  She lifted it, examining it more closely.  The golden band gleamed in the sun as she turned it around, studying the pattern of a carved elongated lion, its tail wrapping almost the rest of the way around.  The end of its tail looked almost like a tri-foil in an archway. The lion, a symbol of Richard’s family, made her wonder where he was at this moment.

z

Unaware of how many days passed, Anne still curled beneath the rock. She no longer paid attention to the hunger pains and the thirst. At this point, she only wanted sleep. She closed her eyes and yearned for numbness to overtake her.

Anne thought she could hear someone calling her name. Believing she now hallucinated, she groaned and slipped into unconsciousness again. She heard the sound of her name being called again in a man’s voice that sounded a bit like her father. She wondered if she was dead; she must be because her eyes seemed too heavy to open. She heard her name again, this time it sounded like Richard’s voice. Now convinced that she was dead, she reasoned Richard must be about to perish in the same storm and called upon her for divine aid. She tried to respond. No sound would come, so she held out her hand to try to calm the waves. The next thing she knew, she felt as if she were floating.

z

Anne awoke to a gentle breeze passing over her body. The man called her name again. She opened her eyes, and they took a moment to focus. Baldwin stood over her. He gave a broad smile. You had me worried there. Richard would have had me run through if I lost you.

Anne heard a noise behind him. Berengaria and Joanna were there as well as others from the ship. What is… Where are we? Anne managed to say.

“We are on Cyprus,” Baldwin answered.

 Oh, thank the heavens. We are saved.” Anne gave a sigh of relief.

“Not necessarily,” Joanna grumped.

Anne looked at Baldwin. “The boat is marooned on the rocks out there.

Anne turned her head to look, but she could not see beyond the sand and rocks of the beach. Baldwin continued, We did not know how stable the boat was, so we brought supplies here to the shore. After that, we sent some men to scout our location. The first two were taken prisoner and the second two barely escaped. We hunkered down here hoping to negotiate with the Cypriot ruler, Isaac Comnenus.

Did everyone from the ship make it out alright? Anne asked.

We lost three men and one of Berengarias ladies. Then there are also the two men taken prisoner. Baldwin wiped the sweat from his brow. We were relieved to find you. Marguerite has been beside herself.

Where is she? Is she here? Anne sat up a little bit, but dizziness and pains, sharp and dull, convinced her to lie back down.

I am here, mlady.” Marguerite made her way past Joanna and Berengaria.

Anne reached out her hand and Marguerite took it. I thank God for your safety.

Forgive me, Anne, Baldwin interrupted them. I realize you cannot feel well, but I was wondering what you know of this Isaac Comnenus. Has your family dealt with him before?

Slowly Anne put her arm behind her head to prop it up. I know that he has a questionable past. My family does not do business with him. Etienne told me the whole story once… oh, yes, I remember now. Isaac is a lesser member of the Byzantine Imperial family. He was governor of Cilice, I believe. She paused to gain more strength. Then there was something about him staging a revolt against the emperor, and he wound up a prisoner of the Turkish ruler of Armenia.” Anne groaned as she shifted positions. By some unknown power, he convinced the Templars that if they ransomed him, he would return their money with hefty interest. He told them he had to collect the money from friends on Cyprus. That was how he got here.

Can you think of anything that would help us negotiate with this man? Joanna snapped.

I doubt if he is the negotiating type. He came here with forged documents, stating that he was to be the new governor, but the fraud was not discovered until it was too late. By then, he had taken control and declared himself emperor. If he is the tyrant they say he is, then I doubt we can count on help from his people either. They are almost certainly terrified of him. Anne’s head ached.

Baldwin scratched at his beard. I imagine that he saw a bunch of Frankish ships off his coasts and panicked, thinking the Templars or someone else acting for them came to collect their money, and that is why he has not come against us, yet.

We are almost out of water. What we have will last us for only a week more, if we are lucky.” Joanna narrowed her eyes at Anne. We have no choice but to send an emissary to plead for help.

Baldwin remained with the women, as Richard expressly gave him charge over their care. He decided that Berengaria’s priest would act as emissary, the idea being that a man of the cloth could make a less threatening appeal. The priest set out to meet with Isaac.

The marooned group waited together at the makeshift camp on the beach for five long days. On the evening of the fifth day, they saw the priest descending the dune that bordered the beach, his head hung low, and his manner morose. When he reached the group he looked at Baldwin and began wringing his hands. Well, what news? Berengaria urged.

The priest gave her a dejected look. The other ships are here also. Comnenus has taken their passengers and crew prisoner.

But what of our plight? Joanna demanded.

“Comnenus agreed to let us remain here on the beach, for the time being, but he refused us any further aid.” The priest dropped his head.

Any further aid? Joanna stood and stomped her foot in the sand. What does that mean?” She bordered on hysteria.

Baldwin and Anne exchanged looks with one another. It means we will have to cut rations on the water,” Baldwin explained.

Cant we just go find a fresh water source and steal some? One of Joanna’s ladies looked to the priest.

The priest shook his head. I am afraid that Comnenus warned me that he would post men to make sure that we stayed on the beach. If we leave this spot, it will be seen as a sign of aggression, and we will all be taken captive.

Berengaria began weeping. Baldwin turned to the priest. “Thank you, Father. Now, will you be so kind as to pray with the ladies?

The priest nodded and took Berengaria by the shoulders, leading her under the canopy the men erected out of a torn piece of sail between two large boulders. Baldwin walked away from the group further onto the beach. Everyone but Anne joined around the priest. With the aid of some driftwood, Anne pulled herself up and hobbled over to Baldwin.

You should stay off that foot,” he scolded her.

It is feeling much better. I believe it is healing nicely. She shifted her weight onto the stick. Tell me, what are you thinking?

Baldwin sighed. I think that Comnenus wants to push us to the brink. He is hoping to starve us into submission. His plan is for us to have no choice but beg for his help. I am sure he will make us pay him a hefty price, and when we are weak enough, he will take us prisoner and ransom us.

The thought of being a prisoner again, anybody’s prisoner made Anne’s stomach churn. They both stood there in silence and stared out at the sea.

z

    The next day, a general air of despair pervaded the camp. The following night few people slept. Four days later in the morning, they awakened to the sound of horses and men, and mass panic spread. As fast as possible, Baldwin organized the men into a defensive position, and ordered the women to hide themselves as best they could. Joanna and Berengaria turned to flee along with the other women, but Anne remained rooted. She picked up a rock the size of her fist and leaned on her driftwood stick. What are you doing? Are you mad? You must come with us,” Berengaria hissed at her.

I have been a prisoner before, and I do not intend to be held for ransom quietly. She shifted her balance again, bearing a little more weight on her foot.

Do not be a fool, Lady Anne. You and that rock do not stand a chance against armed men. Berengaria laughed at her.

Perhaps not, but I cannot run, so I will remain here, and the first man that tries to lay his hands on me will soon discover a goose’s egg on his head.” Anne clenched the rock in her fist.

Fine, be an idiot. I am going to hide. Berengaria followed the others.

 

Chapters

38

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Seringapatam wrote 82 days ago

The authors of the next three I am reading have not been on the site for a while but I feel that if I am reading them then I should comment on them. This one in particular reads very well and I think may do well. It is so well written and researched too. Nice flow, great characters and brilliant narrative. I enjoyed this and if the author came onto the site and pushed it, I can see it doing well.
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. (B.A.O.R) Please consider me for a read or watch list wont you?? Many thanks. Sean

Patty Apostolides wrote 217 days ago

Historical Fiction Review:
Chapters 1-6

This is a superbly written story, and so well researched that I felt as if I were there, taking all this in. The characters were very realistic with their hopes, dreams, and fears. The setting felt authentic and the details utilized all my senses.

I really liked Lady Anne, with her sensibilities, her wit, and her virtuous character. I also liked Richard and his growing love for her. He was sensitive to her wishes and caring enough to see that she was well after Raymond's nasty treatment of her.

I have placed it on my WL and look forward to reading the rest of the story.

I have given it a well deserved six stars, and will back soon. It deserves the Editor's Desk, for sure.

Best,
Patty
The Greek Maiden and the English Lord

HGridley wrote 307 days ago

Chapter One:
The appeal to the senses is very good. I also like the personification of the castle leering down at him and mocking him.
The detail of defending a castle made of butter = classic!
All the details are very well researched, and it’s like I’m actually there.
“the castellan, Roger de Lacy surrendered…” there should be another comma after “Lacy”
What is the meaning of the random Y?
The idea of a king grieving at a grave after a great victory is very intriguing. Great end to the first chapter; I want to keep reading on.
I’ve got lots to do, so I’ll return at another day to read more. Great beginning! You’ve begun on the right foot, and the tone you set is really absorbing. I like it. Often Medieval work is cliché and pat, and here you’ve given it life and color.
~Hannah

Eftborin wrote 345 days ago

Aha...you like medieval as i do. I think it was the wish of every school boy in my school-going days to be either Robin Hood or Richard Coeur de Lion. Of course as i do like that period in world history, detail to actual history are important. I like it and will read more...you may find mine an interesting read.
Pat

Shelby Z. wrote 368 days ago

This is a unique book on this site. There aren't many medieval books on here.
I like the way you write.
I think in the first chapter there is a ton of information, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good because we know where your coming from, but bad in that it could be too dry for some readers.
Anyways, I think that you develops this well and have a good use of words.
Good work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Egon R. Tausch wrote 368 days ago

Hist.Fict. Readers Grp
Dear Ms. J,

I wanted to continue reading your MS, but felt that too much time between chapters would hurt the flow, so I re-read from the start through ch 12. Will read on soon. Your story is moving swimmingly, and you have not compromised your historical setting as so many novels do. We are learning to think as they did. The suspense is building. I am, of course, now backing your book. A few nitpicks:

Ch 11:
----Computer glitch in lines of separation between "Richard and" and "Geoffrey have their lands...".
----"There is too great of risk of you being killed..." Suggest first "of" be changed to "a".

Ch 12:
----"Yes, yes, I am fully aware of that you have told the Queen." Something's wrong with this sentence.
----A few lines later you either need to run two paragraphs in dialogue together, or use a quotation mark before "You realize that once you give yourself to Richard...".
----3 more computer glitches, where your paragraphs are cut in half: "Besides, if I may be so bold...", "I do not pursue a marriage with Richard, nor will I..." and "Now I know that, I cannot release you."
----People probably had at least a version of "pain in the ass", but it can't help but strike readers as modern slang.
----You need a quote mark before "You know I trust them completely." or combine it with the previous paragraph. (Your paragraphs tend to be awfully short, anyway; short paragraphs tend to add a transparently false excitement.)
----"I guess I shall see you in..." "Guess" sounds slangy; suggest "Shall I see you in Poitiers then?"

Keep up the good work.

Regards,
Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents

Egon R. Tausch wrote 392 days ago

Hist.Fict.Readers Grp
Dear Ms J,

Have finally finished ch's 6-9 of your MS (I was delayed by trying to get back all my backings which Authonomy arbitrarily dropped). Queen Eleanor is very well portrayed; just as she comes across in history. Your plot is moving along very well. I am glad that you continue the history, and don't let it degenerate into just a modern love story. You have certainly done your research, and your writing style is spot on. I expect to put you on my shelf when I have read a little further. I hope you don't mind nitpicks; the ones below are interspersed with praise.

Ch 6:
"stonewalls" -- -- should be two words.
Typo: "...room where her favorite" -- -- should be "were"
"When the tapestries...truly home." -- -- One of the best lines on Authonomy; tells us volumes about the tapestries and Eleanor.
Paragraph beginning "Eleanor stopped pacing..." -- -- you go back and forth between Henry's, and it is difficult, since you have never before mentioned Henry II, to tell whether you are talking about father or son. This again occurs in your 3 paragraphs "Ah, but do not forget Louis...to meet Louis in Paris." You mention "Henry", father or son [?], 5 times, all mixed.
"Richard wonderd why..." -- -- should be "wondered"

Ch 7:
Your part on the chest called "the Reliquary..." is brilliant detail, without detracting from the action.
"Three maybe four hours..." -- -- suggest comma after "Three".
"Henry never, nor would he ever..." -- -- suggest comma after "ever".
Typo: last line in ch -- -- "grateaful" -- -- should be "grateful".

Ch 8:
"I arrest you in the name of the king Henry." -- -- suggest you drop "the", but capitalize "King".
Last line, suggest comma after "Channel".

Ch 9:
Suggest that you indicate to the reader that you have moved back to the narrative started in your Prologue. I, for one, had forgotten that Broase was telling the story.
"Soon enough, believe you me,..." -- -- last phrase is modern slang.
"Richard grumped..." -- -- is there such a word? A cross between "grumbled" and "harrumphed"?
"...sons put together haphazardly" -- -- strikes me as slangy. "Matilda's husband..." -- -- should be combined with previous paragraph. I would be very confused about the family relationships described by Geoffrey if I weren't a historian of the period.
You imply that William the Marshal is not only fickle in his loyalties but promiscuous with women. I've read 2 biographies of William, and there is no evidence of either characteristic.
You drop the death of Rosamond like a bomb, apparently well after the fact.

Ch 10:
"exchequer" means "from the chequered hall" (the English Treasury). Drop the "ex" if you mean a different hall.
"When it came time..." -- -- you again have "exchequer", and "brimed" for "brimmed"; and I doubt a thousand knights could be in attendance in any hall that isn't a major cathedral.
You mention an "empty plate" -- -- Didn't they still use hollowed out loaves ("trenchers") instead of plates?
"Eleanor convinced..." -- -- I would put "had" after "Eleanor".
"No, I apologize." -- -- suggest comma be a period.
Three paragraphs later -- -- you again use "exchequer", again.
Next paragraph -- -- you have the word "stopped" with 3 p's.
"a frantic wrapping" -- -- should be "rapping".
"...to grab his hand again, but he caught it." -- -- Caught what?
Second time Richard says "God's leg" -- -- suggest you change it (God's wounds?).

Despite all my nitpicks, you are a great story-teller. Will continue reading.

Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents

Andrew Hughes wrote 411 days ago

(Historical Fiction group)

Hi Ms J,

I read the first three chapters and really enjoyed the story.

It’s a very vivid opening. I’m not sure you need the line: ‘As he closed his eyes to compose himself, he remembered in detail…’ and so on. You can just tell of the siege, the reader will know it’s the back-story. It would avoid you having to keep saying the description of the siege is Charles’s memory. Also, I don’t think Charles would have snickered to himself given the situation.

You describe action very well, like the catapult rocks hitting the walls, or the men spitting out the spray in the drain.

Occasionally you repeat words and phrases close together, which can chime a bit, but that’s easily fixed. I’d also try to use less exclamation points. It would help the speech sound more natural.

I like the portraits of Eleanor and Anne in Ch 1. And the characters and interactions at the banquet are well described. Raymond’s proposal to Richard in the next chapter is perfectly vile. I think it’s often best to use ‘said’ to describe speech, rather than words like ‘chided’ or ‘snapped’.

There’s no need to repeat your short pitch in the longer one. I think you could use the long pitch to give more details of the plot, as it’s quite a big book.

Overall this is a very good piece of historical fiction. Highly starred.

Best of luck with it,
Andrew.
The Morning Drop

jlbwye wrote 412 days ago

Lord of All. A Hist.Fict. read. Your short pitch is succinct, and rouses interest, but you do not need to repeat the concept in the long pitch. Instead, use the words to build up the characters and their emotions, with the broad sweep of your plot, perhaps?

I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert. I tend to notice nits - hope you dont mind?

Ch.1. Prologue. Great choice of words - 'profane stench', compounded by the vomiting later on. This is a striking opening for your book.

Do you want nits?
There are some vague / unnecessary words which spoil the flow of a story: rather, certainly, seemed to (Ch.2) just, rather.

And words repeated too often / too close together can jar on a descerning editor. Charles, breath/ing, rope, grave (Ch.2) Poitiers, court, count/ess.

You reveal some history and back-story through Charles's thoughts. Good technique.
For a moment there, I was thinking Charles had let out the chapel - not his breath - perhaps exhaled?

Yes - I, like Broase, think Charles is being brash and insensitive. Maybe he was lucky to get away with it!
So. A tale within a tale. A well contrived Prologue.

Ch.2. (Auth). You create a bustling, charming scene and introduce the practical Eleanor and the lovable Anne in an easy style.
Although it passes in the real world, such repetitions in dialogue as 'not to worry' are inadvisable on the printed page.
The dialogue between Anne and Millicent flows easily and naturally, while revealing more of their characters and advancing the story.
Promise of an appropriately romantic scene provides a hook to draw the reader on.

Ch.3. Oh - I wish to have more of their first intimations of love, but you have jumped over the episode.
However, you have captured their gaiety well in the repartee between Anne and Richard.
And that is a sudden, unsavoury action on Raymond's part.

Ch.4. A strong, enthralling beginning to this chapter. And enlightening, for I know very little of the time and customs of your period.
'Love is not the issue here, duty and honour are.'
Dont you mean Richard waited on the bench where he had seen Anne reading her letter the first time they met?

This romantic story is developing well in the tradition of historical fiction, between the folds of weightier matters.
I enjoy the light humour of their blossoming love, and the characters are coming alive against a background of heavy tradition.

Lots of stars.
Jane (Breath of Africa)

ceejezoid wrote 413 days ago

Hist Fiction Forum Review:

This is my first official review for the historical fiction forum. I picked yours as you seem to have given a lot more reviews than you have received!!!

Right, so. This is not a period of history I really know anything about. Mention Richard and John to me and the best I can do is Robin Hood! Probably a good thing, for review purposes, as I can be a bit of a control group for readers who don't know the back story.

I'm enjoying the plot. Read chapters 1-5, and Richard and Anne's relationship is shaping up well. She's got a mind of her own, she is sympathetic, she's strong willed. Richard seems a bit knee-weakening and swoony, so all good. Raymond is a great scoundral to set them off! The descriptions of his singing, or rather the listeners' reactions, were highly amusing!

I like the rumours and scandals circulating round court, its really breathing life into your settings and seems to fit with other stories from similar periods I've read, or at least my imagination of the period! The set up of Richard's pre-engagement and Anne's wealth (but presumned inability to inherit straight off, as she is a woman?) promises lots of great conflict.

The prologue is good, but a little info-heavy. I don't think you need so much about the siege, especially if you will be returning to it later. The horrible toilet shaft and the guarding of the grave in the chapel are, however, an intruiging start and a good hook for getting into the story.

Couple of little things:

Chapter one features noses quite prominently! Not sure if you were aware, but you describe at least 4 noses in the one chapter. Doesn't seem to happen again in what I have read.

I think there should be a break between Eleanor's first conversation with Anne and the start of the feast to clarify the time/location shift.

Right at the start of chapter 5 you use sleep twice in about 3 lines - "sleep still clung to their fumbling hands"(love this)..."sleep-ruffled hair"

Thoroughly enjoyable, have some stars!

Egon R. Tausch wrote 417 days ago

Hist. Fict. Forum Review
Dear S. Lewis, Your Prologue and first 4 ch's and half of 5 are outstanding. I am writing as a professional historian. Thank God you haven't fallen for the revisionists who claim that Richard was homosexual, on no real evidence. Your descriptions of chivalric customs of the time are spot-on (especially the "courts of love"). Your writing is formal enough, without being archaic. I do think that the last part of the ch 5 is a bit too modern, and not oblique enough (even kings followed the prevailing rules of seduction). Also, I doubt Anne would have been too worried about pregnancy: Kings and dukes rarely failed to ennoble their illegitimate children, especially if the mother was a rich Lady. Richard was well aware that he was a direct descendant, and owed his claim to the crown to being so, of William the Conqueror -- -- formerly, "Duke William the Bastard". Richard also had such a passionate view, and had the ability, to conquer far more lands, of which much would have gone to any bastards. Finally, his hatred of his brother John was such that he would have named any son, legitimate or not, his heir to the royal throne. The Middle Ages are chock-full of bastards who became earls, dukes, and even kings. And, of course, Richard finally had no heirs, of any sort, except his hated brother. (And he had William the Marshal, the greatest knight in Europe, to protect his child until he was grown.) Marshal with his army loyally and successfully protected 3 successive totally different named heirs to the throne, the last one a child, against all opposing powers. You might at least hint at some of this, in a line or two about bastardy at the time, for verisimilitude. Also, his protestation to that effect, would make the scene more in keeping with his character, and eye on the crown, rather than only sliding into a modern love scene. I'm sure I'll enjoy the rest of your book greatly, when I can get to it. You know your period very, very well, and are a great plot writer. 6 stars. Bookshelf soon.

"He is the sixth in line for the succession...Philip, Juan the cook, the master at arms, the pigs, the horses..." One of the best sentences I have read on Authonomy.

I only list nitpicks for outstanding MS's:

Prologue:
Broase shuts the same door twice in 4 lines.

Ch 1:
"...radiated more than some half her age." -- -- add "women" or "ladies" after "some".
"Like most noble women, Marie's father..." -- -- antecedent doesn't match subject of the sentence.
"She is the heir of the Viscount de Marseilles..." -- -- you have "wealth" and "wealthy" in 3 lines. Change one to "rich"?
"...she tried to stiffle her laughter." -- -- stifle?

Ch 2:
"Later in the week, a joust occurred." -- -- Would suggest a more active verb. "...came the joust."?

Ch 3:
Castile's friend refuses to answer a question which would reveal his principal. Then a bit later he gives Castile away by mentioning his mercenary motive. -- -- might add something like "He blurted, before realizing the consequences." It seems the whole court learned who the parties were due to that indiscretion.

Ch 5:
"...her lady Marguerite who she sent for some wine." -- -- should be "whom".

Great job,
Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents

P.S. Please read my MS and give me brutally honest comments.

earthlover wrote 423 days ago

Read through chapter 5. I admire the attention to detail and time that comes with writing an historic novel. I especially enjoyed the exchange of the flower on the morning ride. She'd been tearing them apart one at a time, but she didn't tear the petals off that one. Lovely!
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

earthlover wrote 424 days ago

Read the prologue. I love the idea of a soldier crawling through what is basically a sluice pipe, into a church to guard a grave. WOW! The contrast between the sewer and the church, the fact that they had to break the church glass, the battle, the King, wanting to be alone with the grave of his beloved. So far this is an awesome epic story. I've already given it high stars and will read on.

Adeel wrote 425 days ago

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive and realistic with vivid description and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Ms. J wrote 426 days ago

Kate,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read. I sincerely appreciate your comments. I've wondered about the opening scene myself. I do use Father Broase and Charles to help move the plot along as the book covers so many years. I'm still debating what to do with that. I will keep reading yours. Today was just insane and I couldn't get back to it. (Grrrrrrr!)

Cheers,
Ms. J

Ms. J wrote 426 days ago

Jack,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it. I also very much appreciate your comments. I've got your book on my watch list, and I will be reading it tomorrow. I meant to today, but things got crazy with a couple of students today and I ended up in meetings until late this evening.

Thanks again, Ms. J

katemb wrote 426 days ago

Hist Fict Review

Hi,
I have read and thoroughly enjoyed this up to the end of chapter 5. I'm enjoying the story of Anne and Richard very much. It reminds me of Katherine by Anya Seyton. I think you've got the pace of the story just right.
I had a couple of questions, rather than any suggestions.
Do you need the opening scene? I found the story of Charles climbing up into the castle was a little heavy on back story and didn't feel it added anything to my reading of the story, knowing that Richard and Anne are dead (I mean obviously they are dead now, but in the fictional world of your book they are not!)
How old was Richard I at the opening of the book? I wondered if a little more explanation of Eleanor's marriages would be appropriate and wanted to know what dates the court at Poitiers took place.
And lastly, I have a slight believability issue about Anne's conduct and Eleanor encouraging her to meet Richard. I enjoyed those parts tremendously so it was only a minor worry!
I'll give this lots of stars and keep it on my watch list for now. It's the kind of story I'd happy buy and read.
Best,
Kate

Jack1761 wrote 427 days ago

Hist. Fict. Read -- I hope I'm doing this right ;o)

I have read to chapter 3 so far, and I am greatly enjoying it. The time period is one that I don't know much about, but you do give good descriptions (if anything, I think you could be even more descriptive of the surroundings, fashions etc.) and seem to be comfortable with the period as such. The way the characters speak is perhaps a little too informal on occasion - expressions like "carry on" or when Eleanor says "...the lady in question is perhaps a bit too much for the knight..." (Ch. 3) sound off to me in the context of the time period.

The story itself certainly has the makings of an epic love story! The character of Anne is very likeable and well-drawn, and Richard is also shaping up. Anne's dilemma of facing a marriage of convenience instead of a love match is becoming very clear.

I will definitely keep on reading!

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