Starved

Very few people can see the inner torment that comes with mental illness. We laugh it off and call them crazy but this book may help to bring a little understanding and empathy. A thank you for bringing this forward to a wider audience. I watched one of my friends in high school fall apart, melting away before our eyes, and none of us could help her. Backed.

JC

A very powerful opening chapter of a girl with a very misunderstood illness. You certainly don't skip the detail and the reader is in no doubt of the discomfort she is subjected to from mockery of those she knows to the almost toe-curling fight with a porcelin bath!
I have also picked up a new word! - Frennemies. I have known a few human versions!

Great start and happy to back for you.

Pete

I like these types of strong, real lifelike or real life conflicts. This one so far after Chapter 2 is adequate. Good Luck.
George

A powerful and touching story, well written and researched. Your book gives us an eloqent example of how eating disorders affect the mind as well as the body. High stars and on my watch list. Good luck
Yours Bea

STARVED
I downloaded this story about a month ago but didn’t open it because I was afraid I’d have too much in common with your narrator because I was well on my way to being anorexic when I was back in high school. And now that I’m reading it, I was right. So many things you describe are exactly what I did like take forever to eat a package of non-fat yogurt. I also was always cold. I wasn’t ever hungry, tho. The mere thought of food made me nauseous rather than crave anything. Because this is written in such an interesting way, I think you’ll find a wide audience for this among young adults who are trying to be super thin or who are friends of someone who is anorexic. A good read, I’m starring this highly and adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who KiIled the President?

You are shining a spotlight on a difficult topic using the power and strength you’ve gained in your journey to battle this issue. This book needs to be published. You are a gifted writer and I commend you on your success as you continue to confront this head on. I admire you and I wish you the best of luck.

♪ Nina ♪

One of many experiences in my long career as a New Orleans paramedic was having to go and work or pronounce a beautiful young woman or man who pushed well beyond their limits of not eating. No amount of glucose in my box, glucagon, D5W in my IV's, or the defibrillator itself could get them back.

This is powerfully good work and strongly written. This is social concious piece of writing tackling real issues in our world. You can sense you threw your heart and soul into this.

Grammar, dialogue, and edits are excellent. You transition and foreshadow the narrative at just the precise moment.

Highly starred and backed. I'll get this to my shelf shortly.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou" & "The Wings of the Seraph"

Lisa,

I know it may not be a guy thing but I was drawn to this book because one of my first celebrity crushes was for Karen Carpenter... I think you're brave to write this and I think it's a story that should be out there. I know anorexia is higher profile than it used to be but there is still room for this sort of thing, to help sufferers know they are not alone and help their loved ones to understand and therefore help them. Your style is quite powerful as I think it should be. As to the repetetive thoughts (commented on by Pat below), is this unitentional or were you trying to convey the mental effects of starvation? Anyway, best of luck - I hope you get this published. I think it should be!

Regards,

Robert

If you get a chance do look at my book "Horizons" - very different I know but I'm always interested in opinions from unusual directions...

I think that research has now found that there is a genetic basis for anorexia, haven't they? That while personality traits and society's emphasis on being thin will encourage it, eating disorders are not psychological but due to a faulty gene? That doesn't make the condition any easier to overcome but it's nice to know that it's not due to a psychological weakness and, being genetic, possible a "cure" someday. That said, I admire you to no end for fighting the battle that you have fought and continue to fight especially since the voice within hasn't relented any.

I know that thinking over your past history lowers your resistence to that voice within and I want to applaud you for having the courage to write this book. Some of the observations you have made are truly profound, such as:

"I'd thrive upon insomnia, starvation, feeling invincible, insane."

"The raucous berating in the ear hasn't stopped. If anything, as I heal and mature and whisper 'yes' without fear or hesitance, it gets louder, nastier, even more ferocious."

"The temptation to go back is always there."

"The anorexic does not lose their appetite..."

"There is one thing I know for a fact about anorexia and that is that secrets and lies help to feed the illness."

You have written your story well and the only suggestion I have is that when you edit, you watch for repetitive thoughts. In the later part of chapter 3 there seems to be quite a bit of repetition, overlap and some circular, rambling thoughts which could be tighten up a bit into a more organized, concise chapter.

I have read all of your uploaded chapters and other than the occasionally repeated thoughts, this is an extremely well-written memoir which needs to be available to the public! You write with tremendous insight and offer new ways of looking at this disease. But most of all, you show what courage it takes to deal with it and, in showing this, you offer hope to many, many people having to confront self-starvation. Wonderful work!

Dear Lisa,

What a compelling, heartbreaking read! Your writing style is perfectly honest for the content you have shared. I am stunned by your ability to showcase such a difficult subject matter in such a relevant manner. Thank you for bringing to light such a vitally important topic. I'm adding "Starved" to my WL now and hoping to find time to read more of your wonderful piece.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

Dear Lisa! I just stumbeled across your book and I have read all 5 chapters you have posted. This is a powerful story! I have never read or heard anything like this in depth perspective of one that suffers from anorexia. It truly have answered a lot of questions for me that I have been wondering about. Someone in my closest family have suffered with the same problem as you. It also started with her wanting to loose a couple of kilos at the age of 14! The fact that you personify the anorexia is a confirmation to what I have discovered as well. The "voice from outside" I call it, to you its "she" You write your story very well and it's very compelling to read! Well done and best wishes to you,
Laila
Ps sorry for any wrong spelling , I'm Norwegian

So sorry it's taken me so long to do my part of our read swap.

And wow, just... wow. I was so drawn into this from your very first sentence. The voice you have here is just so intriguing and addicting... I couldn't tear my eyes away. Nornally, I can't stand books that don't have any dialogue but this? I enjoyed it. It doesn't need dialogue. It's good enough without it. I don't usually feel right critiquing something when it's a biography so I was delighted when reading this because I have absolutely nothing bad to say about it. You're clearly talented. Really, really good job.

Hoping to hear some feedback from you!
Melissa :)
Gut Instincts
Not So Sweet Sixteen

Hi Lisa,

This is a really excellent and accurate description of anorexia, thank you for writing this. I have just read the first chapter but will be back later to read more. It is very powerful, and your descriptions are really wonderful.

I too am a recovered anorectic, although I was fortunate enough to get help quite soon after the eating disorder had started to take hold. I have just uploaded the first few chapters of my memoir of mental illness (OCD and depression in addition to anorexia) on this website, I would appreciate your feedback on it if you have the time.

Liz

Hi Lisa, this is a compelling read, hard sometimes to comprehend the pain an anorexic goes through on a daily basis but you have described this with sheer brilliance. Highly stared and on my W/L Karen Bates Faking it in France.

Hi Jayne,

Thank you for your comments, they encourage me to continue with this book even though it can be difficult at times writing it. I still get a bitter tang in my mouth each time I think of a memory that brings back images of just how brutal my anorexia was.

I am sorry to hear you had to go through this also. I hope you are fully recovered now and will continue to fight against the voice should it ever hiss again in future. All the best, Lisa x

This is emotional stuff - a no holes barred account of anorexia. This is hard to read not because is is bad, but because it is so real and honest. Every young girl should be read this, it is an eye opener and more importantly a warning.
Having suffered from a lengthy bout of anorexia it is a find to have discovered this book. A truly brave and inspirational account. I only wish I had found this book during my darker days. This book could save so many and I hope it gets the attention it deserves.
'and then you realise with horror it will never let you go' never a more true line written.
Highly starred

Jayne

Wow, this is a very well written, powerful piece.
I think you switch seamless between the first person perspective and the second person point of view.
And I think the perspective where chosen well. The "you" really made the story more in your face, kind of.
I also like how it captured all the symptoms of the disease without being obvious. It was part of the character.

One thing I wasn't a fan of was the capital letters of emphasis.
Also in the first chapter you spend a good deal about the cold at the start, and I think that works really well, but then later on when it's describing her running and almost passing out it goes into talking about the cold again and I felt that extra paragraph was overkill.
Great story, highly rated.

Dear Dean,

Thank you for your lovely comments I have taken all of your advice on board and shortened the chapters. However I have noticed since editing this all my stars and people who added it to their watchlists has disappeared.

Would you be kind enough to star this and back my book again if possible?

Thanks again,

Lisa.

Hi Lisa,
Excellent and vivid detail and personification of the disorder. Your lean prose and short paragraphs help the story move quickly as you provide just the right amount of detail, and that's the combination you want.
A few especially commendable examples of details/personifications that allow readers to get inside your character and the disorder:
I'm paraphrasing: once you eliminated a food disorder from your diet it was never allowed back; that's what she told you (BTW: change "you" to "me" to make your character even more sympathetic); bones dipped in ice; the discomfort associated with trying to sleep.
A few suggestions to help for the next time you target an agent:
In your long pitch, insert a space between "out&her"
I personally recommend using ALL CAPS sparingly except for only the most extreme, emphatic cases; some on the site will advise you to never use them--Why? Because they stop the eyes and brain when the eyes should be moving to what's next and the brain should be absorbing the story.
For the purposes of authonomy, divide your opening authonomy chapter (and any ensuing chapters) into two or three chapters. My humble opinion would be to do so where each # occurs and sometimes when/where the scene shifts in time or location. Otherwise you might intimidate authonomy readers from moving forward with your story. Never give the reader a reason to stop.
This is great; you made me understand and feel something I couldn't understand or feel before--Highly starred. Stay in touch.
Dean Lombardo
"Space Games"

Lisa,

Wow! What a powerful, well written story that is burning to be told! You clearly have a great talent for the written word and have put in the time to write with passion and conviction with your subject! My hope is that someone reads this, relates and realizes they themselves need to change their anorexia.

Have a wonderful day! I have starred {Starved} highly, have watchlisted it and will be back soon for more!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

Thank you everyone your comments mean a lot to me and are very encouraging. I just received my first book rejection today so am feeling a bit tender, however your lovely comments have softened the blow and make me want to continue with my writing journey.

This is written from my own personal experience suffering anorexia. I will definitely read your book today Strachan and be sure to leave a comment. Thanks..

I think this is extremely well-written and sugggests that you have either done a great deal of research or experienced many of the the things yourself , either way it comes across in a very convincing and realistic fashion. Watchlisted and starred . I wonder if you would have the time to look at my my novel ' A Buccaneer' which is swet amongst Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes from Strachan Gordon

honest, powerful work deserves all the praise I can give it. I'm not just saying this.... I really think you have an amazing story to tell.

Thank you so much. You don't know ow much it means to me to read lovely comments like this on my work.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister and I really do hope she manages to recover soon. Bulimia is extremely debilitating and she must get help.

Thank you for your kind words and I will be sure to read your story today also! Much love x

Lisa- Wow. Your narrative voice is extremely powerful. The metaphors in Chapter 1 are vivid; I was immediately captivated. Your story resonates with me greatly.
My younger sister(18 years) is a bulimic. She is currently "recovering", although it is too early to tell whether much progress is being made. I want to read your book in its entirety and hopefully get a better understanding of what drove her to this state. Also just wanted to congratulate you on your courage for taking this step. I applaud you! You will help a lot of people. Don't stop writing! This book will be published someday... you have to tell this story!
-Becky