Dead Men

Richard

This first chapter has me captivated. You write with a quiet intensity that conveys a heavy sadness of the men who find the bodies of Scott, Wilson and Bowers. The men 'buried their faces in their hands and sobbed the hurt of hard men into their frozen gloves.'

For me, the main strength of this lies in your ability to not overwrite. There is a dignity in the way you write of the dead men being discovered and the respect shown to them by those who find them.
The descriptions of the bodies are stark, almost clinical - ' ... their yellow, frost-bitten faces.'

"He always kept a very tidy tent.' You show how Scott is meticulous is all he does through the letters he has written which are 'neatly folded, sealed, addressed even.'
He writes that the diary is passed on to his wife - 'wife' has been crossed out and replaced with 'widow'.
Even when staring death in the face, Scott does not falter in his attention to detail.

I particularly liked the reference to the fact that Tryggve Gran wears Scott's skis back so that they complete the journey.

A great piece of writing, highly polished and beautifully moving.
I can see why this has done so well for you.

Top stars
Debbie

Hi Richard,
Since you only accept messages from your friends, I sent you a friend request to be able to thank you for your backing, useful feedback, and for taking the time to read my book.

Best wishes,
Lucette

Hi Richard,
After reading your interesting pitch, I delved into your book and read the first chapter to have a feel of your novel. My first impressions are:
1- You know your characters well.
2-Your dialogues are believable, tight, and hooks the reader immediately.
3-Your descriptions are superb, and your writing style certainly delivers.

Highly starred and in my Watch List for further feedback as I read on.

*It would be great if you could also read a chapter of my book and send me a comment as well as a star-rating. Your backing will be great:
1-If you like the concept behind it.
2-If you enjoy what you read.
3-If you have available shelf-space.

Best wishes and have a great weekend,
Lucette Cohen Fins- Ten Deep Footprints #21

Hi Richard
I can't send you a message, I am not your friend, but I thought of you and the book today, when I saw Sir Ranulf setting out on a journey from the Thames into unknown territory, not knowing whether he'd make it or not. -90 bloody hell!

Should do marvels for the book sales, though. Good luck with it. BTW were you there?

Richard,

I've just read your opening chapter. This is a really excellent piece of writing, one that had me hooked from the first few sentences. You've created an eerie and compelling backdrop to your story, especially the scene where the men enter Scott's tent and find the corpses. In terms of grabbing the reader's attention and making them want to read on, you tick every box. I wasn't really aware of the exact circumstances surrounding Scott's death, that he stopped a short distance away from a depot, and think that your pitches - long and short - do an excellent job of once again hooking any potential reader who may pick this book up in a store.

On a techincal front, there is a great flow to your writing in this opening chapter. I think you manage to convey the scene, the physical surroundings, the characters with precision and economy, giving the reader a real feel of where they are in time and place - no easy feat. Moreover, your story has such an authentic feel to it, borne out of impeecable research, no doubt. Minor points - tip toes is tiptoes and sleeping bag needs a hypen.

That said, a really engaging opening chapter.

Happy to give you a high star rating and a run on my shelf

Regards

NA 'The Holy Drinker'

Excellent writing, wonderfully compelling first chapter. This is a noteworthy example of quality Literary Fiction and I shall read the remainder on Kindle. Meanwhile I shall back this and rate it 6-stars as it deserves the attention of the editors. From my first foray into the pages of Dead Men, I can tell it will quickly rise through the ranks. It deserves to. Natalie (The Diary of John Crow)

Great title. Great pitch. And very well-written with a tantalizing preview of chapters 1 and 2, two being nearly one hundred years on, and full of great dialogue and observation. On myWL for near-future backing.

Richard - I'm hooked. It's Pavlovian - the tent, the bodies, the penguin bloody eggs - I'm logging on to Amazon tonight to buy the book. Hope the mystery is solved according to the latest scientific knowledge, not some specious sleight of hand. Well done. Six stars, and an affectionate handclasp - Frances K

"Woman with a dead man's name". that's a really cool pitch. it got me turning the pages

Fabulous stuff, Richard. Even better than I remember. Love the opening chapter - so vivid/atmospheric and a clever contrast with the modern day chapters (as I remember, you originally started with the scene on the train??) This really is beautifully written, ambitious, original work. I'll read on when I get a chance. Best of luck with everything. P

Thanks, Sue. That's very kind. R

Hope the backing helps newbies notice this, Richard. I'm not going to read it on site, I'll purchase a copy instead!
Loved it the first time round though.

Good luck with it.
Sue x

Hope the backing helps newbies notice this, Richard. I'm not going to read it on site, I'll purchase a copy instead!
Loved it the first time round though.

Good luck with it.
Sue x