Book Jacket

 

rank 1763
word count 69402
date submitted 25.04.2012
date updated 08.04.2013
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Young Ad...
classification: universal
complete

The Merriweather Family

Abigail Brake

What would you do if you were fated to be in a family of oddities?

 

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."
The Merriweather Family, a 69,000-word novel set in small-town Pennsylvania in 1900, is a whimsical blend of the comedic and dramatic coupled in a light-hearted story about the age-old intertwining of love and misunderstanding. At its heart is Sofia Merriweather, young and reputedly sensible, whose decision to ward off an undesirable suitor by brandishing a teapot sets the tone of the novel. Not only does that tempestuously wielded teapot give Sofia unwanted attention from curious neighbors, it also ultimately directs the course of her adventures.
Although The Merriweather Family canvasses serious subjects such as disappointed dreams and youthful infatuations, it is determined not to take itself too seriously. Runaway chickens and misplaced false teeth keep its characters grounded in the prosaic absurdities of real life.

Note: Cover Art is a painting by Childe Hassam, copyright 1889~ "Reading in the Garden at Villers le Be" at
http://bjws.blogspot.com/2010/07/frederick-childe-hassam-1859-1935-in.html

The Merriweather Family is now available on Amazon! Follow the link to get the paperback copy. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1482378043/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller=

 
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1900, comedy, england, fiction, lady, literature, melodrama, pennsylvania, romance, shakespeare, teapot, young adult

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Character Sketches

 

At times, Sofia Merriweather was not altogether sure that, had Providence graciously given her the opportunity, she would have chosen the relatives allotted to her as the people to whom she looked for support, comfort, virtue, and, well, sanity.

Not there was anyone mad in her family –or, as Sofia herself often amended, not dangerously mad, anyway. Of course, second cousin Lewis Farland had long thought himself the son of an obscure Russian czar and that he ought to be reveling in the decadence of the palaces of Saint Petersburg instead of languishing at the provincial plow.

And then there had been poor Uncle Wilson, who had once tripped over a tree root, fallen unconscious, and awoke the next morning convinced he felt called to join a monastery in the snow-laced mountains of Switzerland. But, despite their delusions, they were both really quite harmless and, as Lewis Farland had, happily, died recently and Uncle Wilson had actually gone to Switzerland in pursuit of godliness, nobody minded.

No, she was thinking of sanity in its loosest terms –the kind that could go missing for wild grief or impetuousness or raging tempers. In that, they really were incompetent. Never was there a family less equipped to deal with its own misfortunes. 

Sofia had her own ways of coping with their incompetence. She wrote. It helped, somehow. But she had a terrible habit of writing idly, and too often, of people that did exist. She could not prevent herself. So many interesting people really lived and breathed, not just within the pages of a book, that to ignore their foibles would have been almost… ludicrous.

There was Mrs. Westergrinne, down the lane. She had the voice of a cracked plate of Royal Albert China and looked exactly like a withered yellow flower pressed between the pages of a book of verses –with dry, folded skin and a knobby, strangling handshake. Her hair had a blueish and unreal tint; thin and cloud-like. Yet when she smiled and her eyes sparkled –one could imagine, with a little effort, that she might once have been beautiful. Strange –what time could do! For all her pruneishness, Mrs. Westergrinne had a reputation for being the kindest, heartiest woman alive. She did not hesitate to give a wanderer a bowl of piping soup or invite passing and straggling children in for a treat.

And then Mr. Poole, the Merriweathers’ neighbor, had always proved a fascinating study. For years and years he had made a point of going out of his way to propose to every single girl within ten miles. Sofia herself had heard his offer thrice since her fifteenth birthday. His prospects were not improving, for he was full fifty and as bald and round as Humpty Dumpty of nursery rhyme fame. His ill-luck did not faze him in the least, and he kept on proposing and laughing and carrying on with abundant good humor.

No one denounced his practices (except Sofia’s Aunt Myra, who denounced everyone but herself, God, and the English –in that order.) It would have been a brave person indeed who would have said anything against the peculiarities of one of the wealthiest men in that part of the country—barring the Merriweather family. But, alas, his wealth could not procure him a wife. The young ladies of that town, Ferbury, had been brought up too sensibly to be dazzled by the allure of money and position. Their vanities prevented it.

Oh, yes, Sofia had but to stroll through the town square for an inexhaustible source of entertainment. She only wrote them to amuse herself, and took care that no one else ever saw them. They were safely stowed in her writing desk. Fortunately the servants were remarkably lazy and would never have thought to clean inside desks –fortunately her mother would not have known, fortunately her father would not have cared, fortunately her sister Susan was enraptured with her own affairs and her brother Terence also absorbed with his activities. If Aunt Myra had known her hiding place (a little nook in the back corner) and thought she could manage a peek without detection, she certainly would have. Her Victorian ideals prevented her from snooping outright, though she had no qualms about covert investigation.

If any of her family had known that Sofia could spend hours drawing elaborate caricatures and inventing situations for their friends and neighbors and acquaintances alike, doubtless they might have expressed more interest. But everyone, though knowing Sofia wrote, assumed that it was poetry, or fictitious accounts of people who had never lived in Ferbury, never lived in Pennsylvania anywhere near the year 1900, and certainly never had anything to do with anyone else.

They were half-right, for Sofia did write poetry, when in the mood—and no self-respecting writer can resist those wild bursts of heavenly inspiration—and she did write novels of exactly that kind. There was something so noble in a knight on his steed, so beautifully helpless in a maiden weeping into her handkerchief at a tall tower window –that Sofia had not learned to ignore its romantic tug. The romance of centuries past did, after all, have the charm of being utterly removed from the reality of the present. But her secret pleasure, to which she succumbed only occasionally, remained recording the attributes and idiosyncrasies of those near to her.

But not nearest to her. 

Sofia never, ever wrote of her family –not because she did not feel equal to the task or because she was too afraid of discovery or because they were uninteresting –no, certainly not that. The Merriweather family was nothing if not interesting. And that was the difficulty.

One could write cheerfully of other people, of people not so completely involved in one’s life, but –well, that was it, of course. They were there, always, more tangible than anyone else. She could smile at Mrs. Westergrinne’s toupee and privately laugh over the shining beacon that was Mr. Poole’s head –but she did not, could not make light of her family members. They alone were sacred.

She had to bear her mother’s indolence, soothe her father’s tantrums, listen to Susan’s tales, placate Terence’s moodiness –and tolerate Aunt Myra in general. Aunt Myra would have been too beautiful of a description –too perfect; for Sofia knew, as she lounged at her writing desk, idly frowning upon her pen, that, had she permitted herself, she could have delivered a worthy essay on that woman.

Sofia closed her eyes and dreamt for a little while.

Tall and violently, pretentiously, preposterously austere, with cool blue eyes rimmed in lines, eyes that never blinked save to communicate unutterable words from the soul, long, slim, graceful hands, a wreath of silver hair, and a weak mouth. Yes, weak. Silly, even –perhaps not indicative of a femme formidable; merely a middle-aged woman, with definite ideas about every subject, cabbages and kings certainly not excluded, and an expert on them all. A woman who believed in the inerrancy of the English and pretended to know all there was to know about everything.

She had a husband suitably dead. He had been suitably dead for so long that no one clearly remembered him or could imagine him as anything but. It was doubtful if even Aunt Myra herself could conjure up an accurate picture of his face, although she mentioned him often enough in her daily musings –“Oh, if only Claude could have seen it!” –“When my poor dear Claude was alive” –“it’s so lonely, sometimes, without Claude’s companionship.” Claude Wright, who had escaped Fate when he had passed away peacefully and properly of a bout of pneumonia some twenty-five years before, had never done his wife a greater service than to die. It gave her distinction and sympathy from her neighbors, a more luxurious home from her relatives, and something to talk of when gossip ran thin or the rain prevented an outing into society where she could look into everyone else’s affairs.  She had not married again –not Aunt Myra, though so young when bereaved. Marriage to the incomparable Claude had convinced her that she could not be so fortunate in her choice of partner another time. Perhaps that paragon of virtue might have gained more attention and lasting memory as an edifice of evil. But no one in Ferbury would have stood for such a man. And Aunt Myra, as much as she might secretly have enjoyed telling the tale once he had departed earth, would soon have put him to right.

Yes, Sofia nodded her head as she restrained her aching pen, yes that would be Aunt Myra! If only she could… but no, she must not do it –she could not –she would not! Her pen drifted, as if by its own will, down to the deliciously empty page in front of her –no, no–

Suddenly, the doors of the garret swung open mightily with a pompous creak. It had been fondly nicknamed the “Tower” for its isolated situation on the north end of the house facing a vast, thick forest of fir trees, still a favorite haunt of the Merriweather children, though two-thirds of them had nearly grown up.

Terence wandered in, breathless and cross. He was small for his age (thirteen) –dark and sullen and lean with an upside-down, crooked grin and startling green, catlike eyes that gleamed with boyish secrets. One of his shoulders bent downward when he walked from a childhood accident–and so he loped, a little, and fiercely hoped that no one noticed and just as fiercely hoped that they would, just so he could prove that he did not mind. He yearned for attention, yet disdained it when given –easily resentful, easily hurt, easily proud, easily brought low. Not an unusual boy. 

Sofie, I’ve been looking for you for ages!” cried Terence petulantly and not without a bit of unjustifiable reproach. This was not as great an exaggeration as it might have been, for the Merriweathers frequently lost their way in the house. And well they might have –for it was large and rambling. No –not large –that is not adequate. It does not encompass the five-stories, twenty-six bedrooms, three and a half parlors, two dining rooms, ballroom, first and third floor kitchens, expansive library, and comparatively opulent furnishings in the servants’ wing that signified an unrestrained expenditure of wealth. There was nothing discreet about the Merriweathers.

“Have you?” said Sofia, firmly but regretfully putting down her pen and half-turning in the chair.

You writing stories again?” Terence sniffed disgustedly. Though he spent many hours poring over his insect diagrams and nautical charts and secret, self-drawn maps of the grounds, other indoor activities did not amuse him. Nor could he, with the conceit of all unformed young minds, conceive that anyone could like anything that he did not.

Sofia sighed. “I was about to, yes.” She glanced at the sheet of paper (beside the forbidden blank one) and the single word scrawled on it –an impressive, beautiful, eloquent word that spoke volumes, full of hidden meaning, and cunning, deceptive simplicity. “The.” A commendable start, that. Ought she to stop having just embarked on that thrilling journey of possibilities which that single most compelling article invoked? “Sadly,” she added, being in general a truthful sort of person, “I have not progressed much further than the beginning.”

“How nice,” said Terence, yawning, and meandered about the room in search of something to pick up, examine, and replace straightaway with a bored impatience. 

Sofia watched him, perplexed. He had run in and promptly forgotten what it was he had been so anxious about. “Terence,” said she expectantly, “did you have something to tell me, or ask me?”

Terence made a prodigious effort of remembrance. “Oh, yes! I know now! It’s dinner time.”

“Is it really?” Sofia started. That meant she had spent over an hour contemplating that solitary word. “But I haven’t heard George ring the bell. Has he?”

“No, it’s broken again,” said Terence, crossing over to her and tugging at her hand. He gave her one of his fiendish upside-down grins. “I might have had something to do with that.”

“Oh, Terence!” remonstrated Sofia. “Someday, you’re going to ruffle George’s coat-tails just a bit too enthusiastically, and he’ll chase you about the dining room with a rolling-pin he’s borrowed from the kitchen.”

“Not George!” Terence snorted in contempt, ignoring Sofia’s quick warnings as he half-slid, half-careened down the twisted railing of the back staircase from the Tower to a drafty, largely unused hallway. “Why, George wouldn’t be bothered by a Latrodectus Hesperus!”

“And what is that?” said Sofia with a laugh, skipping to keep up with his haphazard and unpredictable steps.

“A poisonous spider!” crowed Terence with triumph, always delighted when his knowledge of the Insectum exceeded hers, and he tumbled off the last end of another staircase, sending him into a fit of painful giggles.

“Are you all right, Terence?” said Sofia, half-fearful.

Instantly a lopsided grimace blackened his features and his brows drew almost to the edges of his glowering eyes. “Of course I am,” said he, brushing from his clothes invisible specks of dust and not nearly so invisible wrinkles. He started hopping about to show his dexterity, and then broke into a trot, calling behind him, “Catch me if you can, Sofie –I’ll beat you to the dining room!”

“Ooh, you wouldn’t run against a lady!” gasped Sofia, shooting after him.

“I wouldn’t –and I’m not!” Smirked Terence as he looked back so that he could wink at her.

“Naughty, impudent boy,” Sofia said with a chuckle, increasing her pace and lifting her skirts an inch higher, “I’ll catch you, I will!” They ran through a maze of passageways and well-lit hallways –through rooms that seemed to serve no purpose but to say “I am here, to be admired, come look at me!” and through other rooms with pianos and music stands and sheets and sheets of music –very useful rooms, if any in the family had played. Aunt Myra pretended to, of course, but even she could not ignore the thick dust coating the pages of Clair de Lune and Concerto in D Minor.

Very soon, much sooner than either of them had first anticipated, they arrived in the dining room –one of the dining rooms, at least. Sometimes, it was true, the family switched to the other (just as grand) without warning any of the children or Aunt Myra –either at their mother or father’s whims. It was, needless to say, an extremely rare occasion when any of the family was not late to dinner.

At the table was already seated their father and elder sister, Susan. Susan smiled; Mr. Theodore Merriweather growled. He was in one of his moods. Mr. Merriweather –not a tall man, but imposing in figure– could, when in a rage, make any of his self-important clerks quake to their very marrow. But his children had long been indifferent to his bouts of temper.

“There you are!” He barked. “What have you been about? And where is your mother? I just left her in the parlor. What does she think she’s doing?” mumbled Mr. Merriweather to himself. “Amelia!” he bellowed.

“Coming, dear!” A soft, willowy, gentle yet insistent voice wafted through the air. “Just a moment!” Mrs. Amelia Merriweather materialized not long after, draped in a gown of soft pinkish stuff, her silvery blond hair piled outrageously high above her head.  “I’m sorry, I seem to have misplaced my green shawl –has anyone seen it, by chance?” asked she wistfully.

“Oh, I gave it to my gnome friends to eat!” declared Terence cheerfully as he took his place. He was inclined to be cheerful at mealtimes. Sofia sat next to Susan and rolled her eyes in sisterly understanding.

Mrs. Merriweather smiled indulgently. “Of course, darling, but do you think that was the brightest of inspirations? I have an idea that shawls aren’t good for the digestion, of gnomes especially. We wouldn’t want to make the poor creatures ill, would we?”

    “What’s all this nonsense I’m hearing?” said Aunt Myra with shrill disapproval as she entered the room, her ears always preceding the rest of her. 

    Mrs. Merriweather indicated the seat beside her and smiled sweetly at her sister-in-law. “Darling, I really couldn’t say –only I’ve misplaced my green shawl –or was it the mauve shawl?– I get them confused so often because they have the same lace trim –or is it fringe? at the bottom. Hmm… do I have a green shawl? Or is it only Mrs. Prigglemeyer’s niece who has one?  Darling Ted, have you seen me wear my green shawl today, or any other day?”

    You know very well I haven’t, Amelia, and if I had I shouldn’t have remembered it. Where the devil is my dinner?”

    His wife cocked her head. “But surely –one would hope –that the devil didn’t have anything to do with your dinner?”

    “Amelia, I’m ashamed of you!” said Aunt Myra. “Talking of outlandish elves or something one moment and the –well– the devil,” she lowered her voice, “the next –why, it isn’t at all–”

    “But Aunt,” interrupted Terence with a frown, “they aren’t elves. Gnomes, I mean.”

    “I beg your pardon?” Aunt Myra at her frostiest. 

    “Oh, yes, Myra, he’s quite right. What a clever boy you are, Terence! Elves are tall beings who live in the woods –though sometimes I think they can be short and fat and play tricks –or perhaps those are brownies –oh dear, let me think –that German Goethe or Andersen or whatever his name was would know all about it, I’m sure –he describes everything so well except everyone seems to die or have their feet frozen in the end, which is most unfortunate. But they’re most definitely short and round, with pointy beards and more than their share of capriciousness.”

    Who?” Aunt Myra again, her chin shaking ominously. 

    Mrs. Merriweather looked mildly surprised. “Why –gnomes of course, what else have we been talking of, darling?” She laughed, a lovely, bell-like sound that echoed pleasantly. “Haven’t you read that funny little German man? Only –I don’t think he was little; he looks tall in the illustrations –oh, I don’t mean in the book, for he wouldn’t be there, but at the front, there’s always a sketch of them and a story about how tragic their lives are. Though of course, one never can tell with these celebrities –after all, he might be short…”

    “If I may,” cut in George with courteous hesitation.

    “No, you may not,” commanded Aunt Myra.

    George went on undeterred. “I believe, madam, that the man of which you speak is Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish renowned writer of fairy stories –and yes, from what limited research I have done on the subject, most gnomes do have pointed beards and are a bit, I believe, on the portly side.”

    Mrs. Merriweather cried happily, “Oh, he isn’t German then? Of course, I should have known –for I always think of pastries when I hear his name and country, which is quite distracting. How very lucky, George, that you know almost everything. You’ve been so useful. Thank you so much. I’m sure we’re all obliged to you. I would have gone the rest of the day wondering about it.”

    “Yes, we are all completely indebted.” Mr. Merriweather scowled thunderously. “But the rest of us would be happier if, be it not too inconvenient for a connoisseur of fairy stories as yourself, we could have our soup before the clock strikes midnight!” 

    “Right away, sir.” George bowed and left.

    “Insolence, that,” muttered Mr. Merriweather. “I ought to let him go one of these days.”

    “But you won’t, dear,” said Mrs. Merriweather with a pitying smile.

    Mr. Merriweather grunted in grudging assent. “I ought to, though.” 

Poor George. For a butler, especially an imported English one, he had entirely too much personality to satisfy Mr. Merriweather’s ideals completely. In his mind, butlers should be observable, but nonentities –like a shabby chair or a bit of crockery. But George was so obviously there, and so irritatingly knew something on every civilized conversational topic that he could never quite blend in with the wallpaper. In all other respects as a butler, he did his absolute best. Nothing could ever surprise or worry him unduly. He had nearly memorized the Encyclopædia Britannica in his spare time and slept with it under his satin pillows. His black hair was always greased back as severely and as correctly as any man of his profession’s. His figure was rotund, his gloves never soiled –and he had a sincerely and deceptively silly face that, when not ornamented with an expression of keen interest in his surroundings, revealed a devotion to the Merriweather family that did credit to more than his character.

“And how was your evening, Su?” whispered Sofia to her sister in the short interval that followed George’s exit.

“Oh!” Susan blushed, a pretty sight against her fair ivory skin and shimmering gold hair. “Aunt Myra and I walked into town and happened to meet Seth Carlisle next to the millinery.”

“Seth Carlisle?” Sofia raised an eyebrow. “No. Susan, dear, you’d better not begin liking him, I forbid it!”

“Why not?” said Susan a little indignantly, if her sweetness of disposition could have allowed her to be indignant. 

“His nose.” Sofia tapped her own.

“Why, it’s beautiful!” exclaimed Susan in surprise.

Too beautiful, I say. A man like that cannot be any good, if he has such a saintly nose. He’s too perfect –nearly a Greek god, not for mere mortals to fall in love with. Even you, Su, who are as close to Aphrodite as any could get in Pennsylvania! No –Mr. Carlisle knows he is beautiful (not handsome, mind!) and will turn up his snooty city nose at you while he’s yet making sheep’s eyes.”

Really, Sofia,” said Susan in a little of a huff, “it is as if you thought I love every man to pay me a compliment!”

Sofia forbore from answering and, luckily, escaped having to construct a placating reply by the entrance of George, his entourage, and the soup.    

And, forgetting the question of sanity, gnomes, elves, Greek gods, and the green, mauve, or nonexistent shawl, the family began dinner.

 

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1

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Nigel Fields wrote 316 days ago

This looks like a delightful read from the pitches. WLd for now.
John Campbell

AudreyB wrote 341 days ago

Hi, there – this is your review from AudreyB. I am often accompanied on my reviews by my English teacher alter-ego, The Grammar Hag. If I say anything you don’t like, it was probably her idea.

I like how your first paragraph sets me firmly in the mind of Sofia. I know that she’s had a conventional upbringing (her reference to Providence) among unconventional people. I also know that she will probably show them to me with humor and love.

“…voice like a cracked plate…” very funny

I am about halfway through the first chapter, and while the writing is flawless, and your humor sparkles, I have a lingering sense of “Wha….” What’s going to happen? What is the point? What makes me want to read further? I think for mass appeal there has to be a burning question of some type asked early on, a difficulty to overcome or an opponent to defeat. It isn’t present yet and maybe should be.

Every time I encounter the name of the town, Ferbury, I want to tell you that you’ve misspelled February (=:

Now the potential rivalry between Sofia and Susan, that’s a great starter. Sofia’s reaction to Seth also provides some needed tension and plot development. By the end of chapter 2, I wish I knew a bit more about Susan and Sofia. The first chapter introduces some interesting characters, but if they aren’t central to the plot, they can remain in the wings for a bit.

At the top of chapter 3 you refer to “the parson, Mr. Dudley’s wife’s…” Two possessives in a row reads awkwardly. What about “the wilted and unwatered irises of the the wife of the parson, Mr. Dudley..”

This third chapter is also funny and clever and engaging, and furthers the idea of life in a small town through the meaningless gossip of the Mrs. Poppykin and Prigglemeyer.

The only thing I can really recommend is to give some thought to the information presented in the first chapter. Otherwise your book is readable and enjoyable. I think you’ll see this rise in the ranks here on Authonomy!

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Spilota wrote 353 days ago

This looks like a lot of fun. I really like the tone of it.

upforgrabs wrote 367 days ago

Thank you for your comment on "Tamria," I hope you'll read on! My continuing review...

James

***

“She could not prevent herself” – don’t you mean “She could not help herself” ?

Mrs. Westergrinne – fantastic character description!

“pruneishness” – is that even a word? Never mind, I love it! Very Roald Dahl.

“It would have been a brave person indeed who would have said anything” – think this runs a little smother: “It was a brave person indeed who would have said anything”

“Fortunately the servants were remarkably lazy and would never have thought to clean inside desks” – “and would never think to clean inside desks,” is that smoother?

“She had a husband suitably dead…” – this is an ENORMOUS paragraph. More than a page in itself. It definitely needs chopping up. Think where you might insert paragraph breaks.

General comments – this is exceptional writing but a rather slow beginning. I love the way you “introduce” the various characters and some of your descriptions (Mrs Westergrinne and Mr Poole especially) are clever and amusing. Still some rather large paragraphs – as you may recall this was my main objection in the last review. Even though the writing is of the Victorian period, slow and leisurely, you should consider trimming some of the words to make it accessible for a modern audience. You don’t necessarily need action at the start of a story (as you’ll see with “Tamria”), but lively dialogue is the best way to capture a reader’s attention. It definitely picks up when the dialogue appears.

Richard P-S wrote 368 days ago

Usual proviso - this is a subjective view.

The opening sentence is wonderful and marks this book out. I raced through the first two chapters and am captivated.

One word of caution - you use too many adverbs (cheerfully, indulgently etc). I'd edit these down.

R

sassevn wrote 368 days ago

Your writing is anything but a "nonentity" like a "shabby chair." Truly creative! Your sense of description astounds me. Abbie, this book is staying put exactly where I put it - on my bookshelf. I'll read more later.

Sharda D wrote 372 days ago

Hi Abbie,
here for our reading swap (thanks again for looking at 'Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams' for me).
This is a wonderful read. So unusual and well written. It reminded me a little of Peter Carey's 'Oscar and Lucinda'.
You are a very talented writer with a unique style and a real joy of language that shines through. Wondered whether you'd had any luck with agents/publishers before coming here. If you haven't tried, I would send it out and see what sort of reponse you get.
It's not the easiest read in the world, but the uniqueness of your language is a pleasure. I am torn between recommending some simplications or leaving your personal style unfettered. Would be interested to hear what a professional would say!
All the best with this,
Highly starred!
Sharda.

Melissa Writes wrote 379 days ago

Hi Abigail,
A lovely read, filled to the brim with great lines and intriguing characters. I love your descriptive writing, professional and almost faultless.

For me, the opening isn't as strong as it could be and I wonder whether you could open further along, just before Terence comes in.... 'she had a husband suitably dead' is such a strong line that I'd be tempted to open with that, then get straight to action with the Terence conversation and then come in with the back story/family history, a bit later on. That's just my opinion, but you have some fabulous lines scattered throughout and I think it would make a more powerful impact to start with one.

I really enjoyed reading about the Merriweathers and will give you lots of stars.
Melissa
Lessons in the Dark

Katie2112 wrote 379 days ago

I love this, beautifully written and a refreshing change for a modern book. A husband who was suitably dead, Great line!! This book is highly starred and on my watch list until my bookshelf gets rearranged again.

Kate LaRue wrote 379 days ago

I am back for more since you posted the rest of the book, and I am through the chapter where Sofia goes to the opera (I think chapter 7). I am enjoying her experiences in London, and love Great Aunt Agatha. She is, as Sofia so aptly puts it, 'nearly dead, but more alive by half than the rest of us.' Mr. Mueller is intriguing, and I wonder if he is more of a scoundrel than what he seems, since he seems to know all about Mr. Merriweather. Aunt Geneveive is amusing as well, someone that I'm sure Elizabeth Bennett would have loved to laugh at.

I'm not sure how I feel about the chapter on the Ladies Aid Society. It certainly showcases George's attentiveness to the family as he warns Mr. Merriweather about the quality and quantity of suitors for Susan, as well as the frivolity of the members of the Ladies Aid Society as they ridiculously send socks and soap to 'savages' unknown. I am not convinced, at this point, that it furthers the plot. I may very well be wrong and will have to read on to find out if anything becomes of said soap or socks. The portion with George and Mr. Merriweather has an obvious point to it, setting the stage for when the English gentlemen arrive, but the latter half of the chapter was not my favorite, it did little to add to the characterization of the ladies in question, except to put in my mind the idea that Mrs. Merriweather can occasionally have a sensible thought. I hope you do not take that too harshly, it is just my opinion.

One question I have about the aunts is how they ended up living in England in the first place. It seems strange to me that at that time in history, especially with their unmarried status, they would be living 'across the pond' from their family.

Those are all of my comments for now. I will keep reading, as I'm enjoying this immensely.
Kate

Mademoiselle Nobel wrote 379 days ago

~The Merriweather Family by Abigail Brake~

This is SO beautifully written I have to re-read sentences so I can really savour them! Great characters, character names and descriptions!

I LOVE this line: ‘She had the voice of a cracked plate of Royal Albert China and looked exactly like a withered flower pressed between the pages of a book of verses.’

Highly starred, recommended and WL so I can read more!

Iman xxx

http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Here are just a few suggestions:

- As bald and round as humpty Dumpty [of nursery rhyme fame’ (fab line – but info after Humpty Dumpty isn’t needed)

- I wouldn’t and I’m not!’ Terence [smirked] as he looked back

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 380 days ago

Abigail,
What an amazing read, a sort of "Pride and Prejudice" approach to Pennsylvania life in the early 1900s. Sofia had it right in her choice of writing subjects - truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Your long sentences and elaborate descriptives set the pace of your story, measured, elegant and unhurried, giving much time for reflection on prior scenes depicted. Your insight into behaviour and thought in that time period is wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Kate LaRue wrote 381 days ago

Abbie, what an engaging read, reminiscent of Jana Austen and Louisa May Alcott. I love the first sentence and the description of the family and community members. I have to agree with some other comments about brackets and long paragraphs, but altogether they did not pull me out of the story. Your cast of characters is robust and enchanting. The aunt puts me in mind of Aunt Norris in Austen's Mansfield Park, though Aunt Myra is decidedly nicer than Aunt Norris. The town gossips are amusing, as are the residents of the parsonage. I hope that we do not completely leave all these characters behind when Sofia ventures to England, though I am curious to find out what kinds of interesting characters she will meet there.

Excellent job, highly starred and on my watch list. Please message me when you have more posted.
Kate

JMF wrote 385 days ago

I am here for our reading swap and hope that I can provide you with some useful comments. My views are my own so please take what you like of them and leave the rest - I try to give honest opinions.
This is a well-written story, with colourful descriptions, imagery and language. I enjoyed reading the first two chapters. The language you use evokes a by-gone era and is very effective at pulling the reader into the time in which this story is set.
A couple of tiny comments about the first chapter. You call a peaches and cream complexion robust. This wouldn't be a word one would normally use to describe this type of complexion. However, you may have researched language of the 1900 s and found that this is an appropriate word to use. You also say 'recording the idiosyncrasies of those nearest to her.' In the following paragraph you say, 'Not nearest to her.' This is a little confusing for the reader.
I found some sentences difficult to read because of their length, structure and the complexity of the language used, sometimes having to read them several times over. This is not necessarily what everyone will find, it's just a personal opinion of mine. It did slow down the reading experience a bit.
You have obviously put a lot of effort into your writing and it shows. I think you will find fans amongst adults. A hint of Jane Austen and A Room with a View about this. I will watch to see how you progress. In the meantime highly starred.
All the best
Julia
Shadow Jumper

Terence Brumpton wrote 386 days ago

Hey i just read chapter one of this,It's really good. I love how much detail you go into things. What surprised me was you used the name Terence lol not that common. The only thing i can say bad (and say sorry for pointing out) is that as Cyrus Hood said, do have some long sentences. At one point there was only two in 1para.The other thing was that in one sentence you used the same word twice. This is something i do so its something i have got used to having to change. Over all i think this is really good, should do well
All the best Terence

Cyrus Hood wrote 386 days ago

Hi Abigail,
I have to admit to feeling a little breathless with the long sentences. That said, this is intelligent, intuitive writing. The style and pace are well suited to the content.
The dialogue just crackles and I can already imagine the film script for this work.

Well done

Cyrus - Hellion 2

The Knowledge wrote 386 days ago

Written at a nice gentle easy going pace, I enjoyed every word of this. Had to limit myself to 2 chapters due to return read commitments but what I did read I thought had good character interplay / dialogue, adequate scene description without being bogged down with trivia. Your style of writing makes it easy on the head and to absorb every word.
Well done writer.
Highly starred.
David (Madeline & TK)

L_MC wrote 386 days ago

I've read three chapters and thought this has a Jane Austen type feel. I know the pitch says it has a blend of comedic and dramatic and so far I've seen lots of the comedic. Sofia and the gossiping ladies are great characters, I enjoyed their dialogue. The chase with the teapot and the almost decapitated chicken set a tone for the scene and the characters that hint of more chaos to come.

I'm not in your YA audience and no idea how they would react to this but I've enjoyed what I read.

upforgrabs wrote 386 days ago

Very "Victorian" feel, like Jane Eyre, which no doubt is what you're striving for. Overall impression: this was very good, smoothly written, your characters are well-developed and given lively descriptions (Mrs. Westergrinne and Mr. Poole I liked especially!), and the dialogue is excellent. I agree with Neville's observation about the over-abundance of brackets - you need to do something about that, I found it jarring.

My only real problem is with your paragraph length. At the start of a story, you want to have short paragraphs to draw a reader in. An enormous first paragraph is daunting and off-putting. I have big paragraphs in my own book, but they are usually off-set by short ones. You might want to go through and do some serious formatting, cut some of them up, to increase the amount of "white space" on each page and the overall pace of the story.

Here's an example of how you might break your paras up - with the opening one selected as an example:

At times, Sofia Merriweather was not altogether sure that, had Providence graciously given her the opportunity, she would have chosen the relatives allotted to her as the people to whom she looked for support, comfort, virtue, and, well, sanity.

Not that there was anyone mad in her family. Or, as Sofia herself often amended, not dangerously mad anyway. Of course, second cousin Lewis Farland had long thought himself the son of an obscure Russian Czar, and that he ought to be reveling in the decadence of the palaces of Saint Petersburg, instead of languishing at the provincial plow.

Then there had been poor Uncle Wilson, who had once tripped over a tree root, fallen unconscious, and awoke the next morning convinced he felt called to join a monastery in the snow-laced mountains of Switzerland.

Yet, despite their delusions, they were both really quite harmless. Happily, Lewis Farland had died quite recently, and Uncle Wilson had actually gone to Switzerland in pursuit of godliness, so nobody minded. No, she was thinking of sanity in its loosest meaning – the kind that could go missing for wild grief or impetuousness or raging tempers.

In that, they really were incompetent. Never was there a family less equipped to deal with its own misfortunes.


****


Despite those reservations, I really liked this! If you can do something about your formatting - the protracted paragraphs and ubiquitous brackets - you may have a winner here! Rated 5 stars, and I hope it does well!

Hope you'll find the time to look at my book.

James
"Tamria"

Neville wrote 387 days ago

The Merriweather Family.
Abigail Brake.

You have an addiction to bracketed sentences, there are so many of them that it can put the reader off. It can halt the flow of the story somewhat waiting for the brackets to pop up again, if you understand my meaning.
Don’t spoil a good story, and a good story it is, well thought out with good description running throughout.
From the point where Terence arrives on the scene, we have some very good dialogue...excellent stuff, but the brackets are still popping up I’m afraid.
A good strong character in Sophie, a determined and talented young lady is how I see her.
Looking forward to seeing the cover and will read more later.
Star-rated for now!! Well done, Abigail!

Best wishes,

Neville.

Karamak wrote 387 days ago

Hi Abbie, I love the idea that Sofia writes to escape, this is what led me to write my book! I'ts a wonderfully written engaging book and I have stared you highly and will put you on my book shelf on my next re-shuffle. I will also continue to keep reading. With best wishes Karen.

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