Book Jacket

 

rank 5850
word count 13658
date submitted 02.05.2012
date updated 21.03.2013
genres: Romance, Popular Culture, Comedy
classification: universal
incomplete

Love life and karaoke

Jess G

No job, no girlfriend, no hope. Life is bad for Steve until his cousin steps in to help. Then it gets worse.

 

As a favour to his aunt, Mark agrees to help out his cousin who is having a bad time of things. With unemployment and a five month depression hanging over him, Mark plays the puppet master and helps sort out Steve's life. With the perfect replacement girlfriend in mind and a crowd of beer loving friends what could possibly go wrong? Well there is her ex who is having trouble taking no for an answer and is re-inventing the definition of stalking. Not to mention Mandy herself who is famous for her mood swings and terrible temper which Steve starts to uncover quite early on. But every path to love has its bumps and while there is beer to drink and karaoke nights at their local things can't be too bad. Until Daniel Tate steps in. Angry, psychotic and terrifying. And also the best friend of Mandy's ex.

 
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 “The stronger sex is the weaker sex because of the stronger sexes’ weakness for the weaker sex!”

Mark was leaning forward nursing his beer. He turned round with a puzzled look from Pete’s statement.  “What?”

Pete was about to repeat what he said when Mark gestured for him to stop.  “Just be quiet please.  Who told you that crap?”

“My dad.”

Words of wisdom from the man who rolls his car up hills, just reaching the top and then rolls down saying, ‘hur hur hur’ to save petrol?”  As Mark spoke the insult he sat back with his fists clenched in front of him to simulate holding a steering wheel.

“He’s always done that. He can get a hundred miles a gallon out of any car. Pete seemed quite proud of his father’s achievement.

“The twenty cars behind him going up and down a hill in first gear probably can’t, so much for lowering the carbon footprint.  I’m amazed nobody’s killed him yet.”  Mark turned to Steve who he had earlier persuaded to join them for their drink. “Every traffic jam in Stevenage is caused by his dad.  It’s a good job we’re flat here.  Otherwise the whole fucking town would be gridlocked.”

“He’s careful that’s all, Pete remarked.

Hilda joined Mark in the ribbing while Mickey looked on. “His dad went round tellin’ everyone about this cheap café he found until someone told him it was a soup kitchen.”  He flicked his long hair out of his eyes as if it was a twitch.

Steve found his cousin’s four friends an unusual bunch.  They were a little odd looking but friendly.  Pete was short and skinny with a boyish look aided by his black hair which had an almost forced side parting.  There was Mickey who seemed to be a jack the lad in training.  He was probably the most normal looking of them apart from his facial features being too big for his head. His eyes, nose and mouth all had a disproportionate look but not enough to be considered freakish.  The remaining friend was a big lumbering bear with curly brown hair and round glasses.  His name was Mitchell but they all called him Hilda because his surname was Hill.  He seemed okay with the nickname though which Steve didn’t understand.  It would have been like them calling him Louise as a play on Lewis which he would have hated. 

Pete tried to diffuse the insults.  “He didn’t know it was a soup kitchen.”

Mark was still watching Pete.  He appeared to be in some sort of tag match with Hilda, both ganging up verbally on their smaller victim.  “He went back though, he went back even when he knew it was a soup kitchen.  The only reason he stopped going was because one of the volunteers was a neighbour and recognised him so they banned him.  And what about that crate of cheap dog food he bought and you haven’t even got a dog?

Steve struggled not to spit out the beer he was drinking

Pete moped as he tried to think of an answer but came up with nothing. He lost the battle. 

There were multitudes of conversations Steve found himself trying to keep up with.  His tactic was to laugh at their jokes, not make too much conversation and try to enjoy himself even if staying in his bedroom grew more appealing as the afternoon turned into eveningHe had to keep telling himself that it was only one night and he would be back to normal tomorrow.  He missed his bedroom, his computer, the fact he didn’t have to make any effort.  He had a long chat with his mother about interfering but she turned it round on him and like his cousin, won the debate.  She also lent him fifty pounds to go out with despite him not knowing when he would be able to pay it back.   

Being around strangers was never his most comfortable place but his cousin meant well.  At first he felt like the odd one out at a party as the friends exchanged jokes and stories.  It didn’t take him long to realise that this particular group consisted of three comedians and Hilda, who spent half his time being a fourth comedian, usually with the help of someone else and the other half a stooge for the others.  Nothing was off limits, personal appearance, ex and current girlfriends, illnesses, parents.  It was all fair as far as they were concerned.  If there was a universal law there had to be at least one joker in a pack of friends then there were three other groups of friends who had a vacancy going.  What was worse in the beginning, was when Steve laughed at their jokes out of courtesy they told even more and delivered even more insults to each other.  They then started looking at Steve and waiting for him to laugh as if he was some umpire on which one of them could get the best insults.

 They came round to his house promptly at eight.  The introduction to Hilda was unusual as he kept looking around his house as if searching for someone which Mark later explained was a certain lady he had a thing for and was trying to catch a glimpse of her. 

Their plan was to drive to Mickey’s flat. Hilda had a method of avoiding road rage by turning into side streets like a maniac and coming back out when he was ahead of the car in front of him which he felt was driving too slow.  His car was a wreck, with a broken heater but they got to Mickey’s place in no time despite the weather turning positively dreadful.

They left the car and braved the heavy wind and rain to their local which was where Steve now found himself sitting at a table, talking about life in general with Mark and his three friends.

    And despite his miserable disposition he was becoming increasingly relaxedThe Wheatsheaf was a nice pub, recently refurbished with light coloured wooden chairs and benches.  There were sofas by some of the smaller tables and meals were served before nine, plenty of room and seating.

The four men drank fast and heavy and were gearing up for a potential lock in.  They tended to just buy rounds as and when they felt like it, not taking any turns or pressuring anyone.  Steve bought one round but had three bought for him. 

Two women Mickey knew who were having one drink before going to a club joined them at one point.  When they left Hilda said,They looked nice tonight.  I’d do either of them.” He motioned his arms back and forth in a sexual mime, as much as his seated position allowed.

    “That doesn’t say much.” Pete sneered.  As was becoming the custom to get applause for his insults, he turned to Steve.  “We’re his third lot of friends, his previous ones all got married off. People think he’s my dad.”

    Hilda parried, “The same people also think I married an Oompah Loompah and I still have to tell them you were the runt.”

    “He’s had two girlfriends in his life, Pete returned.

    “What about your girlfriends?  The one who had a grand’s worth of scrap metal on her face.  If she’d swallowed a magnet then she’d have imploded.”

    There was another bout of laughter.  As they carried on in their enclosed disagreement, the landlord of the pub sat at their table.  He began speaking to all of them but Pete and Hilda who were busy with their argument.

Steve learned his name was Wayne when they first went in.  He had run pubs in and around Stevenage over the last ten years and was a pleasant enough sort with a very thin moustache, large stomach and a tendency to sweat and swear a lot. He was grumbling about the worst week of his life.

Don’t speak to me about this week,” he began, knowing they would.  “My wife takes the car to get some chips and somehow it’s burned out.  The garage said the electrics were fucked.”

“Sure she wasn’t trying to keep the chips warm?” Mickey joked with a surprisingly serious expression on his face.

“Fuck off.Wayne continued, “And then some fucker broke into my garage and stole my fishing gear. It was worth over a grand.”  He stopped and surveyed the friends and pointed his finger to all of them as if it was a gun“And don’t you dare say anythin’ else funny, I’m not in the mood to joke.”

Any idea who did it? Is the net closing in?” Mickey asked.

Wayne didn’t answer, he just glared.

“The maggots,”  Mark said.

Not wanting to miss out Hilda took a break from his debate with Pete and joined in.  “I thought the threat of you being robbed had abated.”  He emphasised the syllable ‘bait’ in the last word.

“I bet you’re reeelly pissed off,” Mark added. 

“Were you shook up when you saw the stuff missing.”  It was Mickey again, thinking it was Christmas and broadcasting ‘hook’ from ‘shook’.

Wayne slumped in his chair feeling a lot worse than a minute before.  “I don’t know why I bother to even talk to you.” 

“Neither do we,” Mickey said.

Wayne turned quiet realising whatever he said would just open himself up for more abuse. 

    “So what’s he told you about us then Steve?”  Mickey asked as he sipped his beer as a hamster would. 

    “Not a lot.” Steve preferred to listen than be involved in the conversation directly.  He had thought about a play on words for Wayne with the word ‘angle’ but was too late and didn’t know him well enough.  “He came round this morning and asked me to come out for a drink.”

    “And Angela is your twin sister?”

    “Is she as spiteful at home as she is when she’s out?” Pete asked in a break with his arguing with Hilda who looked aghast at the interruption.

    Steve laughed uncomfortably. “Worse sometimes and yes she is my twin sister.”

    “And what’s your job?” Mickey asked

    “Nothing at the moment.”

    “What’s your normal line of work?”

    Steve drank a swig of beer which he chewed and swallowed.I worked in a travel agency.  That was the only thing I did after I left university.”

    Mickey laughed, “University? University is a complete waste of time and money.  You never learn anything useful and leave just to become unemployed. Universities are for twats.  It’s the biggest con going.  You go there, borrow fifty grand, leave with a piece of paper then go to work somewhere at the bottom taking orders off someone who started there as a sixteen year old school leaver.”

    “Not all the time.  A good degree opens doors,” Steve knew it hadn’t in his case.

    Mickey smiled with his oversized mouth. “I suppose it can but firms don’t think when they create a post that they want someone with a useless degree to do it.  Graduates fill call centres then get fired when the firm find a bunch of Indians to do it cheaper.”

    “So what do you do?”  Steve asked.

    “Plastering.  I make more than an accountant and I left school at sixteen. 

    Mark intervened, “Not very good at it though.  They call him Tex.  There’s always a queue of people outside his flat to complain about his shoddy workmanshipThey even started banging on my door when I lived next door to him.  That’s why I had to move back home.” 

After a customary laugh at Mark’s comment Steve asked, “So what’s wrong with university then?”  

    “They place such a big thing about getting a degree and all it is to the government is to farm the brats out for a few more years and keep the unemployment figures down.”

    “A bit cynical.” Steve had been in a similar conversation before with his sister.

    “Just stating the obvious,” said Mickey looking pleased with himself.

    “In the longer term graduates are supposed to earn more money but you have to look at a bigger picture.”

    “What? You’re poorer? You have a loan you’re never going to pay off?

    It was going the same way as his debate with Angela.  “You’re looking at it from the individual, not as a whole. A lot of universities produce professionals and you don’t find graduates standing around on street corners drinking beer, stealing cars or vandalising shops.”

    “Point taken but I still think university is a waste of time.”

    Steve shrugged.  “You’re entitled to your opinion.” 

e

 

 

    Mickey said nothing else on the subject and it was the only time that night Steve talked to the whole group although Hilda and Pete were still arguing 

It was later on, after more frivolous conversation when Mickey asked Steve out of the blue, “So are you looking for work?”

Steve nodded, “Any I can get.  They cut my benefit.”

Bastards,” Mickey grumbled,I can probably get you some casual if you want to try your hand at plastering, or at least labouring for a plasterer?”

    “Sure.” Steve believed the offer from Mickey was the drink talking.

    “Great, we’re busy at the moment and I’m doing my own jobs.  I’ll let you know when something comes up.  We can’t pay that much but I reckon I can give sixty quid a day if you’re interested.  It should keep you in beer for a while.

    “Thanks.” Steve thought nothing more of it.

As the night wore on, Steve found himself on his own while the others were talking to Wayne at the bar, Mark spoke to him.  His face was reddened from the alcohol but he had the appearance of someone quite pleased with himself.

    “So what do you think of the lads then?

    “They’re a good bunch, thanks for this.”  To Steve’s surprise he had enjoyed the night out.  He liked them and they were funny. 

    “It’s not the best of nights to be honest, the shit weather and bonfire night will have kept some people away but there will be better nights.”    “It’s okay, I’ve enjoyed this, it’s been good.  I needed it.

 “Well, we’ll probably have a couple more, get a takeaway and go back to Mickey’s and have some games on his Wii.”

    “Brilliant.”

    “Nice to break you in gently.”

Hilda and Pete’s debate had raged on for two hours and was heated enough to be heard by half of the pub.  “So next Friday, when I’ve pulled and you’re going home to your porn and hand cream and fifty pounds poorer, we’ll see who’s laughing then!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters

2

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Wussyboy wrote 210 days ago

This is brilliant, reminds me of the best of Nick Hornby. I dunno if you're a bloke or a lass, Jess, but it reads very 'blokeish' and would make a great 'Likely Lads' kind of a sit-com. I LOVE Angela, she reminds me of one of my ex-girlfriends (and more than a little of my wife, but please don't tell her!). Yes, your sentences can be a little long with repeating pronouns (eg 'reading...thinking...knocking' in para 1), and yes, you might profitably break your first chapter into two at 'Awake in his bed, Steve...' (few Autho readers will chug through 3000 words in a single sitting), but this is otherwise a very well-written and funny comedy with some astute observations on love, life and...yes, karoke. Niiiice!

Six stars from me, looking forward to your next edit

Joe Kovacs
He ain't Heavy, He's my Buddha

Michael Matula wrote 231 days ago

The opening pitch is one of the best I've read on the site.
I laughed out loud a number of times as I read along, especially at the “Is this yours? Does this belong to you?” line, and really got a kick out of the anecdote on chapter two involving the father rolling the car up the hill.
I enjoyed the camaraderie between the characters, as well, and thought the shift in tone when we first meet Steve was well done.
The story does take its time to get going, but I'm not sure if that's a drawback for a slice of life novel like this, since life itself isn't always fast-paced.
This isn't really my usual genre, but it was definitely enjoyable to read.

Mike
Arrival of the Ageless

Joseph P wrote 258 days ago

I revisited Love life and karaoke as it kept popping back into my head (always a good sign).

I know I said this before but it begs saying again, the dialogue is first class. Your characters are so easy to empathise with, and the (really) brilliant banter and casual insults are worthy of a big budget, long running sitcom. (Have you done any screenwriting? If not, why not? You have a gift.) Bursting with gems.

You remarked that you knew I wrote for a living, Have to say, I'd be amazed if the same wasn't true for you. Got no shortage of tabloid journo flair (big compliment: some of the best journos, in my not entirely objective opinion, work or have worked for the red tops). Would like to know more about you.

Now, I'm very conscious that some folk 'swap' ratings and do the reciprocal bookshelf thing, but I don't see how that's fair. I'm all for anarchy but breaking this particular 'rule' defeats the whole object of the site. If it's supposed to represent what I believe is great (and there's a lot of great stuff on here), then I should genuinely love it before I back it... Just so you know I've backed Love life and karaoke not because you backed Thando first, but because I think so far it's hilarious and cleverly crafted.

Hope you'll write more soon, and keep in touch.

Joseph

PS. Sorry I don't have the time right now to make any specific suggestions, but think it's too early in your tale to do so anyway. I'd like to keep following your progress so will keep on dropping by, you remain on my watchlist.

Joseph P wrote 263 days ago

A very easy, recreational read that made me smile (a lot) and laugh out loud (frequently); the dialogue is crackling - the razor sharp wit of her characters and easy charm of her prose leaves the reader knowing a conversation with the author would be a perfectly splendid way to while away an evening at The Wheatsheaf.

snakey1021 wrote 264 days ago

Hi,
This really is a very good piece from the slice of life... Beautifully written with a dash of the right spices that makes for that spark of reality. I loved the beginning, the almost expectant way that the aunt prepared herself before opening the door, the good-natured exchange...the shift of the talk from the welcome to the "son"... very very nice... Ill be reading a lot of this and hope to see the complete work soon... Congrats and thanks for reading and commenting on THIRD! :)

Snakey/Archie

L_MC wrote 352 days ago

When I started reading, I wondered why Sarah smiled when her reading was interrupted by someone hammering at her front door - I was expecting annoyance - but it was a good introduction to Mark, his character and how his aunt feels about him.

The scene between Mark and Steve worked well and showed how much of a rut Steve had slipped into. One minor thing, I'd have expected the room (and possibly also Steve) to be stale and smelly but there was no observation of that.

The banter between the friends was easy going but it gripped me most when they started quizzing Steve and discussing why Mark would set him up with Mandy - that started to raise questions and bring in the idea that Mandy could be trouble.

There's a lightness and fun to this but also the idea that trouble could be ahead of Steve.

femmefranglaise wrote 355 days ago

Great plot, good characterisation and flows really well. Some minor editing is needed but that's easily fixed. The main thing is the story and you've got a great one. I've really enjoyed what you've posted and hope you will post some more soon.

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

Morgan H wrote 361 days ago

Good banter between Angie and Mark.
Engaging plot that pulls you in.
I would like a little more clarity on who is doing the speaking, ex. "I'm skint. I can't afford to go out," sighed Steve, wondering how he would ever get out of his mess.
Of course, I just like to read and I am not the best editor.
Overall it was intriguing and kept me reading all posted.

Best wishes,
Morgan H

scargirl wrote 362 days ago

engaging plot. grammar errors dot the text. good use a polish. the short pitch is excellent....
j

patio wrote 381 days ago

intriguing. you got me guessing the plot. At first, Sarah heard knocking on front door. And the delay answering it. I thought it was something terrible.

But it was Mark who pretend to faint. I thought although Sarah used to the silliness, the pretend was real

Then Sarah and Mark in the house, I though romance was going to develop

Further, Mark heard the door, again I thought it was something terrible

There were some punches which I like.....
" Mark came from the less attractive branches of the family tree"
"Angela could suck the confidence out of men"

Overall, fantastic

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