If Children Are Cheaper By The Dozen Can I Get A Discount On Six?

Hi Elizabeth Kathleen,

I've actually owed you this return read for some time now. Sorry it took me so long to get to it. This looks like a fun book, I should have come to have a peek earlier. Now let's see what you've got.....hmmm.....

In chapter 1, I liked the scene in the doctors office when you find out you have twins coming, I don't think doctors know half as much as they pretend to. The urine supply incident was quite funny too, but you didn't really conclude it with the result! How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant? Doubly embarrassed?

Chapter 2: "I was afraid the babies and I were going to starve to death together." I think you can drop the last word "together" for this sentence, it sounds awkward with it there and it's not really needed.

Last paragraph "not being one to put on things off" should that be "not being one to put things off".

Chapter 3: "I was like lioness..." should be "I was like a lioness...".

"It would run through my mind how I could explain getting two large milkshakes again to the girls behind the counter." a bit awkward, maybe better as "It would briefly run through my mind how I was, again, going to have to explain to the girls behind the counter that I was in need of two extra-large milkshakes for myself."

"them their hills" should be "them there hills" or "them dere hills" if you want to add a bit of ascent.

"I don't think I learned everything I should know how to deliver a baby." should be "I don't think I learned everything I should know about how to deliver a baby."

"you're the only one going the wrong direction." maybe better as "you're the only one going in the wrong direction."

What a rude policeman! And what a harrowing experience it must have been going the wrong way on a four lane road! I enjoyed reading your stories Elizabeth Kathleen, you sound as mad as my wife is. I think she'd enjoy reading this too. Well done. High stars!

Regards Scott Butcher, The Merlin Falcon

I finally got to reading this very entertaining book. What a hoot. You certainly put humor into your writing. I read the first three chapters its so easy to read. Actually I can relate to your pregnancy (except for the twins) part as I too went through a 3 month bout of morning sickness only to overendulge on food once I could eat. My stomach was so big I used it as tray to hold my plate or coffee cup. I really had a good laugh when you ggave the urine sample.
Overall, this is a great book and I 've given it high stars.
MC
Exposed

Hi Elizabeth,

I just enjoyed reading the opening chapter to your book 'If Children are Cheaper by the Dozen Can I get a discount on Six?' and found it very amusing.

It had been on my watchlist for a while, and I'm looking forward to reading more.

High stars from me in the meantime.

Carol Jefferies
(The Witch of Fleet Street)

This is really funny. My wife would probably love it. I'm reminded of her pregnancy with our third and last child; she ordered strawberry milkshakes in 'Big Gulp' cups, and folks looked at her kinda funny. I wasn't in 'editor mode' while reading, but a couple of things did stand out in the third chapter.

Remember that this is different than the gold from them their hills. This gold will be the gold in them their hips . . . It should be 'there' rather than 'their' and, traditionally 'them thar hills' is correct.

In the elevator with the policeman, rather than: '. . . when I took that emergency childbirth class, I don't think I learned everything I should know to deliver a baby.' (which doesn't sound very reassuring to me) It should probably read: '. . .I think I learned everything . . .'

oh gosh - hilarious!

i'm going through potty-training with my eldest at the moment (he's only two, 'eldest' makes him sound more grown) - anyway, that chapter on potty-training had me in stitches!

love it
Jaclyn x
It Never Happened

Elizabeth,

Your writing is hilarious. I loved it. I think all women can probably identify with the whole morning sickness, and giving birth area of our lives. You write about it perfectly, and with humor. Great! (Personally, I think I lost weight with both of my pregnancies, as the morning sickness lasted the whole 9 months.) And I am old enough to remember the original Cheaper by the Dozen.

So this is great. You writing style is very, very good. I am happy for your success with this! Congratulations!

Celine Zabel
Lives Shattered: One Mother's Loss at the Hands of the Legal System

Hi Elizabeth,
I am back again. for the past one hour, I am reading, from chapter 7 through chapter 15. What a gift of comedy writing!( your husband must be so lucky? or so unhappy suffering with stomach pain like me out of exhaustive laughter?) You are insanely sane or vice versa!!! First time in my life(54 long years!) I read a book aloud, word to word(out of about 2500 books). " Yeah, Yeah, mummy's book is really doing wee...wee all over the world!". LOL. I tried to rate six stars again, but it only replaced the previous six stars. Strange, isn't it?.

I am really trying to find some typo,error or edit issue, I haven't find one yet!

Venkatarama

Nice job, funny stuff. Very promising title too. I have a few style suggestions, but for humor, I think you have the writing down pretty well. It is a little chaotic, but that adds to the Goldie Hawn style, so it works.

I would break up the long sentence in the first paragraph that starts “These days, they’re a common practice. Maybe start another one after “twelve different poses.”

The paragraph that begins “In the bathroom” I would break that up too. Maybe right around, “I started thinking about a pretty little stream.”

Good humor is hard to write. You handle it well. High marks for style and content.

Good luck with it.

Darla

Hi Elizabeth. I have read two chapters and am surprised I have only just discovered your book. It has a lovely, innocent quality about it and I can so identify with the pregnancy tales. Very funny too, the story of the urine sample is hilarious and you remind me of the my sister; that is just the sort of thing she would do :) Your writing is unpretentious and very easy on the eye. A very cheery tale and extremely polished. 6 stars!!

what the heck is this book!!!. made me choke with first page. WHAT A COMEDY. I put this book on my W/L, made my diary adjusted, and marked it as 'Priority'(Code red). Rx: read a page, a day and keep the doctor away.( Q: who don't
read this book? Answer: Doctor's wife)

venkatarama
Ozoneraser

If Children are Cheaper by the dozen... What a fun story!!! Watch out Erma Bombeck, you're her little sister! This is wonderfully written and fun. Great job! I would definitely buy this book!
Cindy
CADreilling The Line- Beginnings

Elizabeth, Good afternoon. Through 5 chapters and thoroughly enjoying the book. Big families are very rare these days, but they seem to be the very best. Can't wait to finish the read. Very entertaining. Cheers, kerry

Five chapters in so far and I'd say your conversational and humorous tone makes for an easy read. The only question I had was about the placement of Chapter 5. It seemed as if it might fit better right after the birth of the twins, but I may be mixed up as my eyes are heavy with weariness as I read :) It was easy for me to identify with the universal struggles of motherhood, and I can definitely envision you doing public speaking for churches, small women's groups/MOPS, retreats, etc. You may already do that sort of thing, but if not, I think this subject matter would lend itself well to those types of speaking engagements. Having grown up in the church, I'm sure there are plenty that would be thrilled to have you. Just a thought! Best wishes to you, and I'll be sure to finish when I've had a bit of sleep.

Lori

I really enjoyed this book!! Would make a good present for anyone really, very readable!

very funny. I loved this so much I will be scoring very high. It reminds me of when I was young as there were five kids in our house. My final comment......I dont know how you do it!!!!
sean

Quirky, bouncy, flowed well. A good story. enjoyed it a lot. well recommended.
Sean

Hi Elizabeth, first of all many thanks for your kind words about my book 'Well It Was Fun....', I really appreciated that and thought I had better have a read of yours! Well, I am happy to reciprocate - I have really enjoyed it, so full of fun and laughter and situations many can identify with. Thank you for a really enjoyable read. What a great family you have - the love and laughter shines through.

I think we share a similar sense of humour which our books both display!

A brilliant book Elizabeth, Loved it..That is the first five chapters that I read...I fully intend to read the rest when time permits. My only comment is the layout...Many lines finish when there is plenty of room for continuation from the following line. Is this a result of authonomy's conversion? Apart from that, a good job, congratulations.

Hi Elizabeth,

Your genre is totally different from what I normally indulge in, nonetheless it was a great read (the first two chapters ). Throughout your book you have offered humor in generous doses, a sure shot way of keeping the readers engrossed.

Some nitpicks –

Dialog -

“Yes, I think I should know how to work this machine.” - doesn't sound real

“I didn't mean to insinuate you're not doing it right.” - ditto ( doesn't sound real )

Choice of word -

Xerox is synonymous with making copies. It is a company name.

Typo -

( Last line Chapter 1 ) Why didn't she tell me at the beginning? ( add a period/question mark at the end. If it is a thought then maybe put it in italics ).

Best,

N.Lalit ( LILITH )

Elizabeth, this book will be such a blessing to all mother’s going through pregnancy for the first time. The ultrasound, for me, was the most exciting part. To see your baby for the first time (or in your case babies) where wonder, surprise, love and a host of other emotions flood the mind. Two shaky-looking peanuts, twice the joy— words which suggest a barrel load of pleasure plus the imagination to conjure walks in the park. I had to laugh at the 32 ounces and I’m always amazed they can read enough from a drop! And CH2 had me laughing. With lines like, ‘diamonds didn’t sparkle like a roast beef sandwich’ and a hand clamped over the mouth in a death grip conveys complete desperation and where a direct path from office to pot is essential. It’s so easy to ‘see’ this and to appreciate the dilemma. And scented trash bags? That’s a new one on me! I didn't know they did those. Finally a lunch that would have satisfied a construction worker brought tears to my eyes. At last! I can breathe a sigh of relief. Our MC is eating . . . rather a lot so it seems. The three block waddle had me in stitches as did driving like a hillbilly transplant. This book is so delightfully funny; I found it hard to stop at the third chapter. I gave it high stars for an entertment, an easy read that keeps you hooked to find out what happens next. Claire – The Snare of the Fowler.

Elizabeth. I read the first two chapters and thoroughly enjoyed your story. Obviously I cannot relate to having a baby or even twins. My wife and I had five children.....there were times when it felt like they were all twins. You have a very casual style and I would spend more time on the detail of the setting or character. All in all I would recommend your book. Have a great week

Hi Elizabeth
I have read two chapters so far. I love your writing, I can really relate to your predicaments, not that I had twins. The similarity to waterfalls was very good and I had to laugh when you only needed a drop of urine and you thought you needed a full jar. As to typos, on page 1 you don't need a capital letter on 'Two' ounces and I felt the word 'sick' was slightly overused on page 2, but they were the only tiny things I could find to criticise. I hope to read more later.

Hey Elizabeth,
I just started reading your book seriously, and I loved it! You are thoroughly honest and straightforward with your experience, and this makes your book worth the read.I 'll read more when time permits.
God bless you and your family.love,Percy.
PS: 6 stars!!

My daughter just had twins and this is so funny, she would love to read it to but as you know she is too busy to do any of that. Your descriptions are great your comedy is amazing, it really lightened my day. Bravo, High stars!

Roslyn

Scribe-Lings, for your childlike heart
"I Am" Though the Ages, for your seeking heart

Doctor's lube that is cold as penguin spit, dodging possums and potholes, misbehaving with a Bible under his arm (I never thought to try that), and laundry day at McDonalds! Whatta crack-up. I told my friends to check this out. Absolutely delightful tales that witness madness are only things a mother could understand...and I'm gonna go and call mine right now! Then I might open a car wash with a doggie wash station, if I would just listen to the kids and was able to find my car! Dynamite writing skills equals and even surpasses Erma Bombeck. Three thumbs up, Peter B. "The Bible I Thought I Knew"

Elizabeth...I have read 4 chapters of your book. This is one of those Christian books that I believe will have a wide appeal. I see that it is about to break into the double digits on Authonomy. It may pick up speed and gain momentum as it moves up the rankings and gets more and more exposure.

Your sense of humor is splendid. Your writing is excellent. Am looking forward to completing the book. Bart Jahn

Hello,
What a wonderful book! Brings back memories...some not so great like the being sick 24/7. Although I only have two kiddos myself, I can still relate. Best of luck to you on your book. It's very well written and I loved the humor. :)
-Julie Rainey
The Journey Home

This is very funny. I myself have four boys, and can relate to your story of motherhood. Well written. Good for you to look at your circumstances with humor.

This is hilarious. As a mother of five I can completely relate, although I think I curse more lol. I laughed out loud for the first time in ages. Clever setting and great discription, I was there. Six children in seven years - wow, no wonder you have a great book on your hands, there's never a dull moment in your house.

PS would love to see this published as I know so many other mothers who could relate.

Elizabeth,

Hilarious! I was smiling from the very first paragraph! This is a great theme - makes me think of when I was studying the Gilbreths (management studies stuff, and not written so well as here).

One recommendation: She looks at the screen and narrates that she does not see babies. Then she actually tells the doc that she doesn't see babies. I recommend leaving it i the dialog and getting rid of that last bit in the narration. Makes it more engaging to narrate zigzag lines and, in the next breath, actually say "I don't see any baby."

Best of luck with this. Well worth an editor's look with a view to publishing.

Ion

Hi Elizabeth,

I'd like to say, this one is one of the most hilarious books I've read in my life. I really enjoyed it and I want some more!

Just by reading the pitches, we can be sure that what we're going to get is nothing but good stuff! You absolutely delivered. You have a writing style that is easy to fall in love with. Your talent is remarkable and it shows in your writing. I'm jealous!

Your story really brought a smile on my face. Whenever I feel sad, i guess I'll come back and read your book and it will surely make me smile. :)

I give you 5 stars! If you have some free time, I invite you to read and rate my book as well. Thank you so much in advance!


It's me,
D
LEO & ROVER: THE PURPLE MARBLE ADVENTURES

Elizabeth, I am coming through on our deal.

Your opening chapter had me in tears! Of course, the first bit was more serious (and well written), but after that I only began to smile wider. Really great stuff! I can't offer any criticism I'm afraid, as your style does not need it and I am unfamiliar with most of the content (being a single, childless man), but I can offer my encouragement. You will receive a good rating from me, and perhaps even a backing (if I can convince myself to drop one off my shelf).

If I did have to say something critical it would be just what I said to another writer on authonomy; that being less wordy is, more often than not, better. What I mean is that if you want to say big or large, do not say massive; or do not say dismal if you really mean to say sad. But that is only a thought and it hardly ever applies to your writing to make a big difference.

Sincerely,

I very much enjoyed your book and laughed out loud at some of the predicaments you found yourself in. I remember being very much the same when mine were little though I only had four not six. You catch very well the addled state sleepless nights can bring.
I only had one problem with your book and I hope you'll forgive me for saying it. I so wanted to give Raymon a kick up the butt! Especially when he test drove the van while you were trying to feed the twins. There were other moments. Don't get me started.
Nice book. I wish you well with it.

Funny!
Read with a smile on my face. An easy read because it flows so well.
Really enjoying it
Good luck

Chris
Tom Cotton

Glad to see this doing well, rated and backed before but will add to WL/back again as it is very good. Sue 'It's a Dog's Life'

Hi Elizabeth,
your story is hilarious. I started reading and just had to stop myself somewhere in the middle of chapter seven because I really, really need to get some things done :) It was a blast reading the first chapters. I especially liked the fish-skirt-part. I laughed really, really hard. Your writing style is very entertaining. I backed your book. High stars!!

I am wishing you all the best.
Nicola

Very enjoyable read. Loved the urine story and chapter 3 so funny. This is well written and flows well. I had an old Bets of my own when my girls were small. I really enjoy your humour. I don't mind the flashback,it feels natural, something we all do when recalling a story. I wish you the very best of luck with your writing. Backed and high stars, Olive.

This is a delightful story. Your writing is good and the flow is easy. You do a lot of flashbacks but I think it's better if you just start at the beginning and go through to the end and then stop ( Alice in Wonderland and my book, In the Beginning). It can be confusing jumping around in time. For example in the first chapter you start out with the ultrasound which is during the pregnancy and then halfway through jump back to when you first found out you were pregnant. No reason for that.

The story is very good and so is your writing style. I think with some editing this will be great. Kudos to you. Many stars.

Abby

So, so funny!!! I have been reading and laughing out loud! It is really easy to read and even better than that, picture... I can just imagine you running through the office, with people jumping out of your way... I know that's probably not how it happened but it made me laugh!!

I'm looking forward to reading the rest!!

Bevshine
Jenni's Amazing Adventures

Elizabeth,

i just read chapters 4-6. Too funny! Your last story reminded me of a friend from church. She was jauntily walking to work one brisk winter morning when a man stopped his car in traffic and yelled to her, "Hey Lady!" She looked over and to her complete surprise, he yelled, "Your skirt is tucked up into your panties!" (At least he had the guts to tell her!)

I'll look forward to popping back in now and then to get some more chuckles!

All the best to you!

Patti

I've been meaning to come and read this for some time - sorry it has taken me so long. I've read the opening chapters. I like your friendly, open, chatty style and there are some great touches of humour here and a lot of the events will be familiar to those of us who have had dealings with children and pregnancy! A priceless moment when your husband realised you were having twins - made me laugh out loud.
I could imagine this as a column in a Sunday newspaper - would make great weekly instalments.
High stars to your for being funny.
All the best
Julia
Shadow Jumper

Your story made me laugh a lot. I needed a laugh or two. Thanks. I will read more. I am supporting my better halve's book, Now to Him. I am "My Boy's Daddy." I would love you to take a peek when you ever have time.(lol)
Take care,

"My Boy's Daddy"

i can tell you are a funny person. Reading the book its easy to picture a person who sees everything with a ticklish smile on her face.

Its like Wodehouse in panties.

Xerox the other set?? I second the Ha Ha Ha, honestly speaking, when i read the ha ha ha, I was surprised to know you knew how I'd respond.

Comical writing is about being gifted. One cant be funny on the surface unless one's enormously creative or is genuinely funny. You are one or the other, or both. The result is one blessed piece of writing.

My heartiest wishes for success of this book.

Hi! I got to chapter 14 and the site is having trouble loading the rest of thebook for me, of course, now that I'm into thestory. The comic relief you must experience daily with six kids, is well expressed in your memoir. Since you are a mom, I am sure you have read many a children's book and would appreciateyour opinion onmine. Title "Scooter Goes North."

Anyway, hope to read the rest when thesite isn't experiencing technical difficulties, but I'm truly enjoying it so far!

_Sheri

I'm loving your story -it's so easy to read and flows well and you have a good sense of humour. Reminds me of throwing up at the side of the road after work every day when I was preggers -soooo embarrassing. Just a couple of small things in chapter 2 -but this is only my opinion.
I think you should write : I would have to say twelve and hope (not hoping)
I'm not sure about this expression -it didn't sound right :not being one to put on things off....I think you should rethink it.

been reading the book and i have to say that it really made me smile and laugh at bits and portions of the little details of the story. A very wonderful and delicate piece of work! Hats off to you!

I've only finished the first chapter, but I can tell this is going to be a funny book, full of humour and full of little witticisms that are true to life! I'll be reading more asap! :)

-Gail
'Root'

Hi Elizabeth...a very easy and enjoyable read. Certainly a book I would purchase. Good luck!

RPG
Journeying to The Broad Place

This is a delightful story. Very well written with delicious dollops of humor throughout. Best wishes in achieving your goal on this site.

Meg Wearing

Hello Elizabeth,
I say your request for a review and I love the tittle but am in no way a book reviewer. I am just a documentary film maker led astray having written my first novel. I had four children of my own and can't imagine any more. Most people thought we were crazy so you are really on the fringe! Mine were 4 years a part - good and bad - diapers for 12 years.
My book The Sweet Death: La Dolce Morte is far from your topic. You are dealing the beginnings of life and my topic was the end of life.
I have two more in process now that are a series of two about Nepal, one set in 1978 and the other in 2006.
Working from an older unfinished manuscript and a screen play I wrote about three years ago.
But I see that getting the word out the books is more work than writing them, what a crazy world.
Best Regards,
Jim Wills